Brand Allegiance
by StormyBrains
Summary: What if every corporation that provides Pandora with weapons each sends a representative to hunt vaults for them? This is a tale of the Corporate Vault Hunt, where we meet the new corporate vault hunters going on adventures, killing bandits and wildlife, looting the loot, being awesome, and finally reaching their ultimate prize: the Vault. WARNING: It may blow your mind!
1. New Challenger

**Author's Note****: This is my first fanfiction ever, everybody. Hope you like it. If you don't, screw you. Nah, I'm just kidding. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1: New Challenger

Two people just entered into a room. The room has all of the mysterious and intense atmosphere of a secret-agent's interrogation room, yet surprisingly also has a refreshments table. The refreshments table is nice and well-stocked up except for distinct lack of human body parts (you'll get what I mean in a sec). Anyway, the two people are now awesomely taking their seats at the two chairs as they sit next to each other at a small oval table. They will soon be facing a video camera and broadcasting throughout the ECHOnet an event that will drastically change the world of Pandora.

One of them is a middle-aged man in a swag-as-hell black business suit. With his well-groomed hazel-colored hair and brand-name eyeglasses, you would think he is some kind of hipster dude in businessman attire. But no, he is just a regular dude…in hipster-businessman attire! It just so happens that he is hired by the Pangolin corporation to act as an interviewer and broadcaster to the Pandora corporate vault hunt event, which is kind of weird since they only make lame-ass shields that take away a part of your health, but who gives a f*ck anyway.

The other person is a middle-aged woman, seemingly a bit younger and less hipster-like than her associate. She is quite sexy-looking with her shoulder-length wavy black hair, barely noticeable red-pink lipstick, and red business wear. However, it is her personality that stands out, and not in a good way. She surprisingly has the ability to speak sarcastically hurtful words while sounding genuinely kind, which would put a certain science-obsessed AI to shame. It is a surprise that she has been hired by the Anshin corporation to broadcast this event, since Anshin means "peace in mind" and she is about as peaceful to the mind as an icepick to your scrotum. Here's a warning: you would rather stick your head inside a skag's butthole than to mess with her. "But skags don't have buttholes," I hear you say "They eat and poop through the same hole", and my reply to that is "Precisely!"

The man begins to speak with a confident yet charmingly manly tone, "Welcome to the Corporate Brand Allegiance Vault Hunt, hosted right here on the collective clusterf*ck of bandits, wildlife, and loot known as Pandora. This is a major event in which every corporation that has supplied Pandora with weapons will seek to come to an agreement in order to achieve a mysterious source of potentially super-mega-ultimate-badass-legendary power known as the Vault. I am Patrick Anderson, representative of the Pangolin corporation…"

"…and I am Xiao Lan Chen, representative of the Anshin corporation." The woman continued, with her lovely voice. "We shall both act as interviewers to the vault hunters and broadcasters of this event so that you viewers can sit on your lazy ass watching people gun down thousands of human-beings for the slight chance of wealth, fame, and power. The agreement is that the corporations out there want to obtain the vault's power but doesn't like the hassle of continuously spending money on soldiers and other resources to hunt them down. Not to mention the frequent clashes between corporations can seriously put a hole in their budget. So, while the CEOs of the corporations will be watching from afar like a bunch of pussies, they will each send one representative per corporation to participate in the hunting down the vaults all across Pandora so they can open it and obtain its tremendous power."

Suddenly, the one who is working on the camera (because he really isn't that important, we'll just call him the cameraman) just said "You know these corporations are the ones sponsoring us, right? You probably shouldn't say bad stuff about them, especially on LIVE ECHOnet broadcast."

"Oh, shove a foot in it, cameraman" Xiao Lan said, maintaining her kind and sweet tone of voice.

"I have a name, you know. My name is-"

"Anyway, these seven lucky corporations will be Dahl, Hyperion, Jakobs, Maliwan, Tediore, Torgue, and Vladof." Patrick continued. "The representatives will receive no external help other than what they can carry along with them. The gear used can only be what was manufactured by their respective corporations. That includes weapons, shields, grenade mods, and special machines or gadgets that demonstrates their so-called 'action skills'. These vault hunters will compete with one another on Pandora until one representative from a certain corporation will ultimately find a vault and claim it as their ow-"

Suddenly, there is a voice shouting at the outside of the room "What'cha mean you don't have no spicy human liver at the refreshments table?" The raspy and rude voice was that of a woman. Sounds like she was really hungry for spicy human liver.

"Like I said, we don't have any and you shouldn't even be here" said someone outside the room who wasn't worth mentioning. "Now please leave this area at once or I'm going to have to call secur- OH MY GOD! MY LIVER!"

There was the vague sound of some brutal human butchering and someone tastefully chew on someone else's liver before spitting it out. From hearing this through the door, the cameraman inside the room was scared sh*tless (no literally, he just sh*t a little in his pants) while the two reporters retained their calm composure.

"Damn, son, your liver taste like ass. Now I don't even want to know what your ass taste like. Thanks for ruining my appetite. Here's your liver." The rude woman said as she gave back the man's liver and entered the room. She dresses like one of the bandits on Pandora, but with subtle changes.

First of all, she's a female bandit, which was almost unheard of on the bandit world of Pandora. Second, her psycho bandit mask seems to be missing the part that covers her mouth, leaving only the top part of her mask covering her face. Third, she has fairly dark skin and her dirty brown hair was tied into three pigtails spreading out in different directions, resembling a cross. Fourth, she wears arm bandages, red vest over a black tank top, and orange baggy pants. Lastly, on one hand she was carrying some sort of mechanical wrench-and-buzzaxe hybrid that was presumably used to take out that man's liver, since it is currently covered in blood, along with her mouth, cheeks, and her other hand.

There was a brief moment of silence before someone spoke up. "I was going to ask who you are and what you are doing here, but I'm afraid if I do so, I'll lose one of my organs as well." Xiao Lan calmly but cheerfully said.

"Pfft, don't worry, girl, I don't eat lady parts." The female bandit casually said as she tries to wipe off the blood and walks closer to the table.

"So, what bring a fine lady like you to this crummy studio of ours?" Patrick spoke up, equally as calm as Xiao Lan.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" the female bandit shouted, which made both reporters jumped a little. "How dare you start up this corporate vault hunt business thing on my home-sweet-home planet of Pandora, doing all sorts of crazy ass sh*t for giggles and having stupid-ass adventures by shooting skag lickers with the bullets crapped out of the same skag that they licked on…" There was a brief pause. Just as the female bandit catches her breath and the broadcasters were about to speak, she finished her sentence."…without ME!"

"Um, excuse me, but you are…?" Xiao Lan questioned with a bit of confusion.

"Oh, where are my manners? I haven't even introduced myself yet." The female bandit said as she holster her buzzwrench (we're calling it the buzzwrench now so shut up) allowing the two broadcasters and the shitting-himself cameraman to let out a breath of relief. "I'm none other than the one-and-only Mama Jaws, creator of the Bandit brand weapons, shields, and grenade mods. I came here today to state how I should be part of your corporate-vault-hunt-brand-allegiance-whatever, since, you know, I'm part of the corporate gang now."

"Hmm, I wasn't aware that the Bandit brand even has a corporation." Patrick said curiously. "I assumed the various weapons and gear were haphazardly put together by the local bandits scattered all across Pandora."

"Pftt, yeah right," Mama Jaws said. "These bandits don't even have half a working brain cell to put together a gun that can put holes at their enemy skag lickers without putting holes in themselves. Gun crafting is an art, know what I mean? It takes years of tinkering and jury-rigging to make even one working gun, let alone butt loads out there. I was the one responsible for all that. Me, Mama Jaws! Even had a neat lil' workshop back in my town. Started out as just one gun crafted in scraps and bits, then BANG it took off as a major business of 'Fuck Yeah'!"

"Even if what you said is true, that you are the founder of this 'Bandit' corporation, you still cannot participate in our corporate vault hunt." Xiao Lan said. "It is strictly for the corporations that all negotiated with a written agreement. Everything is already planned out."

"Girl, I like you. Hell, I'll even bed you if you into that sort of thing. But SHUT THE F*CK UP AND LET ME PARTICIPATE IN THIS SH*T, ALREADY!" Mama Jaws raged.

Suddenly, the cameraman interrupted. "Um, shouldn't we do something about that guy outside? You know, the one with the missing liver? Maybe, we should, I don't know, get him to a hospital or something." the cameraman said nervously.

"SHUT THE F*CK UP, CAMERAMAN, or I'm gonna burn and eat all your babies, not particularly in that order!" Mama Jaws yelled.

"I have a name, you know." the not-named cameraman whined.

"I'll have to agree with the lady bandit on this one, cameraman. You still prefer to have your organs intact, don't you?" Patrick said, causing the cameraman to reconsider. "If you must, you could get the poor fellow to a hospital, but keep the camera turned on. This is getting interesting."

As the cameraman did what he said, Patrick told Mama Jaws "Well, we'll need a moment to consider. We'll also have to contact the corporate board to see if they'll allow it."

"Well, I got time, but I ain't that patient, so GET YOUR ASSES GRINDING ON THE ASPHALT AND HURRY IT UP!". Mama Jaws exclaimed.

As Patrick pull out a communicator and allow him and Xiao Lan to contact the corporate group, Mama Jaws helped herself with the contents at the refreshments table. Although the food lack the distinct flavor of human flesh (thankfully), they are still tolerable enough to be eaten. Since Mama Jaws haven't had breakfast yet, she chowed down the food and drinks like a hungry dog.

This went on for several minutes until Patrick and Xiao Lan finished conversing with the corporate leaders about the situation. They then turned back at the female bandit, who is still eating from the refreshments table.

"Please, help yourself. It's not like others need to eat or anything." Xiao Lan remarked sarcastically.

Mama Jaws then turn towards the broadcasters, with food still in her mouth as she tries to gulp it down. "Huh? You done? I was wondering what took you guys so long. I thought you were jerking off or something. So what's the news?" she said.

"The good news is you are now allowed to participate in the corporate brand allegiance vault hunt. You'll have to follow the rules just like other corporate vault hunters and you'll have to fill out some forms" Patrick said.

"Heck yeah! Wait, you said I've to fill them forms? You know I'm not the spelling buzz-buzz type, right?" Mama Jaws said.

"We'll take care of that for you. But we still need you for the interview, to let the viewers know more about the vault hunters." Xiao Lan said.

"Inter-viewing, huh, Well, I'll bite. So when do we start?" Mama Jaws said.

"How about right now?" Patrick said.

"Alright. Just let me finish up with your disgusting disgrace of a refreshments table, and I'll be right with you." Mama Jaws said as she continues to chow like she might eat the table itself if she could.

Xiao Lan let out a dry heave before quietly saying "Bandits, am I right?"


	2. Bandit Interview

Chapter 2: Bandit Interview

Once the cameraman came back, the three people group has already settled in a sort of interviewing manner. The cameraman was informed of the situation and was instructed to keep the camera rolling while Mama Jaws was sitting across Patrick and Xiao Lan with her legs placed on the table. This situation seems insane to the cameraman already, but then again if you do not meet a certain level of requirement for insanity, you clearly do not belong on Pandora.

"So, why don't we start off by you telling us a little bit about yourself?" Xiao Lan politely began.

"Huh, didn't I tell ya already? I was the head of the Bandit brand of weapons and sh*t. I practically created the brand of Bandit. Me! Alone! In a workshop full of scraps and bits! Sort of like a certain iron-armor dude but without all the drama." Mama Jaws exclaimed.

"Yes, we are aware of that." Patrick said. "But there is still a lot we don't know about you. For example, your name is quite unusual: Mama Jaws. Is that your real name? If not, how did you get that name?"

"Haha, it's kinda funny when ya think 'bout it." Mama Jaws replied "When I was little, I never remembered anyone taking care of me and giving me an actual name, so I had to do what's needed to survive. Sometimes, I shoot people. Sometimes, I fix and break machines. And sometimes I just chew on the bones of other psychos and bandits in front of their fellow psychos and bandits. They won't even come near me when they see that sh*t, thinking I have more psycho in me than their entire gang put together. Having a habit of using my jaws to do most of the work, I started to earn the nickname 'Jaws'. Come to think of it, I think I still got a piece of that guy's liver stuck in between my teeth."

The cameraman was about to hurl, while the interviewers remain unimpressed.

"So, anyway, as I grew up, I start to become more 'tame'." Mama Jaws continued as Patrick raised an eyebrow in response to the word 'tame'. "I've been doing more machine tinkering and less chewing on human flesh for sh*ts and giggles. Even got my own bandit gang to help me with the stuff. It's like I'm their mama! Maybe that's why they keep calling me Mama Jaws."

"Very interesting" Patrick said "Now, tell me, Miss Jaws. What are your skills and expertise? Do you have any experience with using guns or other weapons?"

"Man, you dumb, ain't ya? I already said I'm good with tinkering those machines. Anything from guns to shields to sex toys to bandit vehicles and what not. You've already seen me demonstrate my buzzwrench skills on our fellow friend who's missing a liver. Also, what's the point of making guns if you don't know how to use 'em. I'm expertising in all range of weapons that I make, shotguns and ass rifles and what not. I don't use sniper rifles though. Snipers rifles are for pussies. That's why I don't make 'em."

"I see, Miss Jaws." Xiao Lan said "Now even though you can use any sort of gear that you can make, it might not be enough. Your competition will have all sort of heavy machinery and gadgets manufactured by their own corporations to assist them in battle. What will you use that is special to your corporation alone?"

"Hmm, you got a good point", Mama Jaws said, thinking for a brief moment before exclaiming "Oh, I got it! You've got to meet my three happy midgets."

Patrick and Xiao Lan looked at each other before saying "Huh?"

"Oh, midge midge!" Mama Jaws shouted as she pull out a special-looking storage deck unit (SDU), which then digistructs three midget bandits out of thin air. One of them was holding a shotgun, one was holding a buzzaxe, and one was holding a couple of grenades. "Hey there, meet my little friends, this is Shottie, Buzz-buzz, and Kaboom!"

Patrick and Xiao Lan almost jumped out of their seats, eyes wide open in surprise, as they were staring at the three midgets that were standing on the table and screaming typical midget stuff (if you played Borderlands games, you'll know what I mean). They didn't think it was possible to digistruct organic life, since digistruct technology has only ever been used for non-organic technology like guns and vehicles. How could it have possibly lived inside the SDU without dying?

"Cool as hell, ain't it? I got this store decker modified so that it could digistruct organic life as well." Mama Jaws said "It only works on midgets though, don't know why. When I tried it on other bandits, they turned into piles of …uh I don't even want to say it. You guys might actually throw up this time."

Patrick and Xiao Lan were fascinated by Mama Jaws's new invention. This just shows that Mama Jaws was not merely a mere gizmo tinkerer but a technical genius. Although, using this SDU for the vault hunt might run into some troubles with the rules.

"This is….this is quite amazing and all." Patrick finally said after examining the midgets with his focused eyes. "But this could go against the rules of having only one person per corporation."

"Pfft, what?! These midgets ain't people!" Mama Jaws exclaimed as Patrick gives yet another eyebrow-raise to the statement. "Besides, they don't even work for the company. They just chill and hang out with me and occasionally have ***[Error: NSFW, use your imagination]*** with me. Now you tell me again that this doesn't conflict with your fancy-pancy rules of yours."

"Maybe we should contact the corporate board about this." Xiao Lan suggested.

"I concur". Patrick replied before he takes out his communicator. "Excuse us for a moment".

"Pfft, yeah, well don't take too long." Mama Jaws said.

After a while of conversing between the interviewers and the corporate board they have finally made a decision. Patrick and Xiao Lan then faced towards Mama Jaws to announce their decision.

"We believe we have made a decision" Xiao Lan said as Mama Jaws builds up anticipation. "You are allowed to use that special storage deck unit during your vault hunt."

"Woohoo! Fuck yeah!" Mama Jaws celebrated.

"However, there is a catch", Xiao Lan continued.

"Well, speak up, pretty lady." Mama Jaws replied, with a slight hint of flirting.

"You are only allowed to have three midgets on the field at a time. The weapons, ammo, and gear that they carry would only be limited to the rest of the space in you storage deck unit." Xiao Lan explained.

"Meh, fine by me. I'm already doing that; my Midge-unit can't fit more than three at a time anyway." Mama Jaws replied casually.

"Also, the corporate leaders need to have a look at the inside workings of the storage deck unit. They need to study it and get how it works. It will be returned to you once the vault hunting event starts." Patrick followed up.

"Aw, HELL NAW! I ain't down giving people my stuff just so they can strip it down and take a poke at it! Nuh-uh! NO WAY IN HELL!" Mama Jaws said out loud.

"This is the only way we could guarantee the integrity and fairness of the match." Patrick said. "We'll guarantee that you'll get back you storage deck unit as good as new and unmodified when we are done with it. We'll even throw in a negotiable amount of cash as compensation for your agreement."

Mama Jaws went from angry to intrigued when after hearing about the cash money. Even though she'll sooner dry-hump a skag than to let anyone touch her SDU, she'll also be willing to dry-hump a skag for a heft amount of money. Not that she wouldn't dry-hump a skag just for fun anyway. Just sayin'.

"Let me think about it" Mama Jaws said before waiting for a split second to think about it "Ok, whatever! The amount you give me better be worth it. And make sure y'all get the Midge-unit safe and soundly or I'm gonna feed you to it! Got it?!"

"Very well, then." Patrick replied "We shall speak of the specifics after the interview. Now, onto the next question. Why are you doing this? What is your motivation to participate in the vault hunt?"

"Well, it's simple, really." Mama Jaws said "The Bandit brand needs a little expansion. To prove to all over the world that Bandit guns and gear are the best kind there is. Our motto is simple: 'Don't got enough bullets? Shoot more bullets! Reloading's for suckas!' What better way to promote the Bandit brand than to show them off in the biggest event of Pandora? Sure I don't care much about the vault hunting stuff, but I'll be damned if other corporate assh*les gets the spotlight. I'm running this show, baby! After this, everyone's gonna know about Bandit brand of weapons, shields, and grenades! Heck yeah!"

"So you see this vault hunt as a way to promote your own brand of weapons and gear in order to further your business interests." Patrick said.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Xiao Lan said. "It is actually a smart strategic move to expand a certain business using such a widespread event as a means of promotion. I have newfound respect for you, if not for the fact that you just chewed on some guy's liver moments ago".

"Why thank you, baby girl. I'm starting to like you as well." Mama Jaws said flirtatiously.

Patrick tries to let out a cough to break up the sexual tension between the two females in the room.

"Ehem! So on to the next and last question for the interview. As you know, at the end of this event, which is when one of the competitors finally found a vault, there will be a hefty prize money for that winner. What will-" Patrick said as he was cut off by the female bandit.

"Holy skagsuck! There's a prize money in it as well! Now I definitely got to win this event! Oh the glorious piles of cash that I am going to wipe my buttcheeks with…" Mama Jaws said as she was day-dreaming of wiping the prize money on her buttcheeks.

"As I was saying" Patrick continued, feeling tired of the female bandit's rude behavior. "What are you going to do with the prize money? You aren't really going to use it all just to wipe your buttcheeks with it, are you?"

"Shut up! My buttcheeks delicate and soft and tender!" Mama Jaws exclaimed.

"Ooh, I would like to know more about that…" Xiao Lan said as a response.

Okay, seriously? Get a room, you two! Jesus Christ!

"But, yeah, I wouldn't use it all on that. I'll probably use some to expand my business. As for the rest…." Mama Jaws said before suddenly lowered her voice to a whisper "…it's a secret."

"How interesting?" Patrick replied.

"Yeah, I mean I have a project going on that requires utmost secrecy, and I ain't gonna let some fancy-pancy corporate douchebags in on my thing. No disclosure, suckas!" Mama Jaws replied, with an added hint of swag.

"Well, I guess that's it for today Thank you viewers for watching the Corporate Brand Allegiance Vault Hunt." Patrick said while facing the camera.

"Till we meet again in the next episode" Xiao Lan said while also facing the camera "where we will meet and interview another vault hunter".


	3. Dahl Interview

Chapter 3: Dahl Interview

We are now in the same room as the one in which the interview took place yesterday. Yet again, the two interviewers were sitting by the oval desk where they interviewed the female bandit known as Mama Jaws. Today, however, they are now interviewing a representative from the Dahl corporation. The representative is a well-built adult male wearing a green military camouflage uniform, seemingly designed for jungle environments. The representative also has extremely dark skin and is sitting on his chair in a laid-back manner, putting on a confident yet smug grin on his face as he is combing his short afro hair with a small hair comb. That smug smile matches almost perfectly with his sleek sunglasses with dark-red lens. So, basically he looks almost like Wesley Snipes from "Blade".

As he is still combing his hair, the interviewers thought they might as well begin. "Welcome to the Corporate Brand Allegiance Vault Hunt. I'm Patrick Anderson and this is my associate Xiao Lan Chen. We are here today to interview another one of the corporate vault hunters. He is a representative from the Dahl corporation."

"So, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself." Xiao Lan said as she faced the interviewee.

"The name's Stone. Eugene Stone" the soldier said as he is just about to put away his comb. "But you can call me Eugene. I don't care much for formalities."

"That is unusual, considering you are part of a military, where formality and discipline is placed with high regard." Xiao Lan remarked suspiciously yet cheerfully. "Are you sure we didn't get the wrong guy from Dahl? Maybe they replaced a soldier with ghetto gang member/rap artist wannabe with compensation issues."

Eugene definitely does not look the soldier type. Despite of his uniform, he has this undisciplined and relaxed demeanor on him that is unlike typical soldiers. But at the same time, the interviewers can sense a true soldier in him, one that has experienced the harshest of combat and lived to tell the tale. Eugene is a full-fledged solder, he just doesn't act like a typical one.

"Ouch, that hurt. I can already feel it right here." Eugene said sarcastically as he playfully placed his hand on his chest. "But truth be told, I know I don't look like a typical soldier. However, I also don't fight like a typical soldier, because I am better than them. I top them all, baby. Best of the best. You know why Dahl placed me instead of some hard-ass and gritty veteran in this little vault game of yours? It's because I fight better and survive tougher than all of them suckers. That is because I strive to be the best that I can be, because in the battlefield, only I matter. No honorable principles or chivalrous bullsh*t. Survival of the fittest, man. As you can see from my files, the results clearly show."

"Yes, we can see that. Your profile clearly states you have completed more missions and took out more targets than any other soldier in the entire Dahl corporation." Patrick stated as he glimpsed through the profile he is holding on to his hand. "It describes you as having a strong desire to succeed the mission and defeat the competition. No matter how tough the situation is you always remained calm and implemented sound battlefield strategy and tactics. However, the profile also states that you are egotistical and narcissistic. You don't work well with others and on occasion risk the lives of your fellow soldiers and civilians in order to complete the mission."

"Well, I would more likely describe it as my fellow soldiers and civilians being either too weak or too dumb and therefore holding me back." Eugene said casually. "Besides, it's a good thing that this vault hunting game is a solo mission. I always work better on my own anyway."

"Is that why you participate in this vault hunt, Eugene? To prove yourself?" Patrick asked.

"I guess you could say that." Eugene said. "Pandora is basically a sh*thole full of the nasty banditry and dangerous wildlife, as you have said. Whoever's willing to risk their life and limb to seek for wealth, fame, and fortune in this hell of a planet is bound to have skills to back up their desires. I'm simply here for the thrill of competition. However, that is not my only motivation to be here on Pandora."

"Ooh, you have an ulterior motive. Do tell." Xiao Lan said.

"You see, there's this commando who used to work for Dahl. His name is Axton, and he's been discharged by Dahl due to disobeying orders one too many times." Eugene said while reminiscing his past relationship with Axton. "He is supposed to die by firing squad but he somehow escaped. He is now being pursued by Dahl and is ordered to be killed on sight. Our intelligence suggest that he may be on Pandora."

"So you want to kill him?" Patrick said. "To complete your mission for Dahl."

"Probably, though not right away. You see, Axton and I go way back, probably got past being just friends, if you know what I mean." Eugene said, raising and eyebrow and hinting something you probably should have guessed, even though you wish you haven't.

"Oh?" Xiao Lan said, at first not getting what he meant. Then for a couple of seconds, it hit her. "Ohhhh!"

"Yeah, back then we broke the back of mountains as much as we broke the skulls of our enemies with our trusty tomahawks. That was before he broke up with me and married that b*tch, Sarah. Oh yeah, Sarah. If you're listening to this, you're a b*tch." Eugene mocked while facing the camera. "We're still friends, though. And I'm still as willing to explore either side of the sexual spectrum."

"Ooh, I would like to know more about that." Xiao Lan teased with a low, soft, and seductive voice voice.

Okay, seriously?! Does she have to hit on everyone that she's interviewed?!

"Anyway, if I do meet him during my vault hunting trip, we'll probably hang out, have a couple of beers, hook up, and I''ll probably try to kill him. Nothing is set in stone, you see." Eugene said casually.

"I see. Now for the next question of the interview. What are your skills and expertise?" Patrick said, trying to stay on the topic that does not involve back-of-the-mountain-breaking sex. "We know you are a soldier for Dahl, with sufficient military experience and claim to be the best of the best. Do you have anything to add? What can you offer that other corporations could not?"

"Heh, allow me to show you my prized possession that is going to change the face of the game. It's right here in this special storage deck unit of mine." Eugene said with a hint of mystery as he takes out his special SDU and get up to walk to the center of the room. It seems like he is about to digistruct something so massive that it is going to take up most of the space in the room.

"Hope it's not midgets again." Xiao Lan whispered to Patrick from under her breath.

"Huh, what was that?" Eugene asked as if he heard something.

"Nothing!" Xiao Lan replied cheerfully. "Now, what will you demonstrate to us today?"

As Eugene clears his throat, he begins his extravagant demonstration. "Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present to you one of the finest machines of the Dahl corporation, something that will literally crush the competition, the Mason Mini-tank!"

Just then, his SDU flashes to life to digistruct a miniature tank. It is about three-fourths the height of Eugene itself and almost takes up the rest of the space in the room. It is styled in military green camouflage and armed with a mini-gun on top. You could see ports opening at the sides armed with possibly homing rockets. There are also modified versions of shields attached to the tank which indicates that the tank is equipped with its own shield as well. Overall, it's one hell of a sight and anyone that is about to go up against this machine should either run, hide, or pray.

"The latest of Dahl's ingenuity. I like to tell you more about it but I don't like showing all the cards of my deck to my opponents, if you know what I mean. You'll just have to see it in action on the battlefield." Eugene said with a streak of smooth-as-hell confidence.

"It's quite an impressive sight." Patrick said with slight awe. "I can already feel it crushing the competition."

"Yes, I'm sure with a tank like that, even an idiot can win in a firefight." Xiao Lan cheerfully said with her stinging words.

"Woah there! Just because I have this sweet-ass machine fighting along my side doesn't mean I can't hold out on my own." Eugene said smoothly as he recalled his mini-tank back into his SDU. "A soldier should always be prepared in the battlefield. That includes maintenance of your gear and the strategic placement of your combat vehicles. I'm not going to use this in all my fights just to prove the point."

"Yes, but be sure that the rules of the vault hunt does not limit its usage either." Patrick reminded him. "Now, for the last question: what are you going to do with the prize money if you've won this event?"

Eugene calmly sat back down to his chair and answered "Well, I didn't really think much about the price money, really. But maybe I would buy myself a resort island back in Hieronymous, build a giant golden statue of myself in the middle of it, and enjoy myself an early retirement."

"Hmm, suits you well." Xiao Lan said while trying not to sound sarcastic but totally sound sarcastic.

"I was just kidding about the golden statue part." Eugene joked. "Too tacky for my taste. But I'm sure anyone would say whoever earns their fair share of wealth through vault hunting in Pandora should deserve to relax in a resort island and an early retirement, don't you think?"

"I agree. Well that's it for today." Patrick concluded. "Next time, we will interview-"

Before Patrick could finish, he was cut off by Eugene. "Hey, ladies, and maybe some guys, out there. If you want a nice piece of ass like this, call me." Then Eugene flashed a card written with his number on it to the camera. "Or if you just want to kick my ass, I'll be happy to oblige as well." Eugene took off his sunglasses and winked.

Patrick ended the broadcast with a facepalm while Xiao Lan still maintained her cheerful smile.


	4. Hyperion Interview

Chapter 4: Hyperion Interview

The atmosphere in the room with the oval desk grew tense as the two interviewers were about to interview yet another corporate vault hunter, this time from the Hyperion corporation. It was tense because the two interviewers have heard of the news and what's been going on between Hyperion and the Crimson Raiders, the latter of which is now in possession of the vault key. Things did not go well with the shenanigans Handsome Jack had done to Pandora, and this Hyperion representative is going to receive a lot of hate once he or she is to approach Sanctuary for the vault key. No one says vault hunting is easy, though.

However, someone has to break the tension and it might as well be one of the interviewers.

"So, we are finally back at the Corporate Vault Hunt event. I'm-" Patrick said with a hint of nervousness but was cut off by the Hyperion representative, which almost made the two interviewers jump out of their seats.

"All hail Handsome Jack!" the Hyperion representative said out loud. The representative was a white-skinned female with blue eyes and wavy shoulder-length blonde hair. She was wearing what is seemingly an advanced type of Hyperion yellow-and-white tactical skin-tight battle suit, equipped with various plates of armor and gadgets, including a single-eye visor covering her left eye. Besides that, there is this intimidating look on her face that is comparable to that of a tiger ready to catch its prey. That look betrays her otherwise fairly attractive face, as if she is always angry about something.

"Excuse me?" Patrick said after a couple of seconds from the interruption.

"Handsome Jack was great and heroic during his time in Pandora. His death was a tragic loss but his legacy will continue. I shall uphold his legacy." the Hyperion representative said while maintaining that angry and intimidating look.

"I'm sorry, but you haven't quite introduced yourself yet." Xiao Lan said, mixing her usual fake cheerfulness with a hint of fear and curiosity.

"Excuse me for my rudeness." the Hyperion representative said, returning to a more moderate tone of voice. "My name is Selena Licht, but you can call me Selena. I am representing the Hyperion corporation in this vault hunting event." Her tone suddenly returned to that of leaning towards politeness.

"Ah, I see. For a moment there, I thought you were out of it." Patrick said.

"I do not get what you mean. Clearly, Handsome Jack is great and awesome and the Crimson Raiders shall pay for their crimes against Pandora for murdering such a great and awesome man." Selena said. Her angry face was twitching multiple times while saying it, which could mean she doesn't mean a word of what she said or she has some kind of problem with her facial muscles. Either way, the interviewers are just as disturbed.

"Right….now Selena, since you are going to participate in the vault hunt, tell the audience about yourself." Patrick continued.

"Handsome Jack is almighty! He is our lord and savior! He shall purge evil from us all!" Selena answered, clearly going off the rails here.

"Um, we are not asking about Handsome Jack, you see. We are asking about you." Xiao Lan said. Usually she would add some witty insult, but she is afraid to trigger a rampage from what was clearly a Handsome Jack-obsessed crazy b*tch.

"But you don't get it, do you?" Selena said with a constipated face. "I am the legacy of Handsome Jack. I am its reincarnation. I will continue what he has failed and that makes it my mission to represent the Hyperion corporation of which he is dedicatedly built to find the vault."

"What is your relationship with Handsome Jack anyway?" Patrick said curiously.

"I am Handsome Jack's l….lo….lover." Selena said as if she is trying to muster all her willpower just to say those words. "That's right. Handsome Jack and I are in love. He and I are totally doing the things you couldn't even speak about in your spouse's bedroom. There aren't even names for all the nasty things Handsome Jack and I had done. That is why it oh so pains me to have heard that he was killed by those Crimson bandit assholes. That's why I'm up for revenge and to continue Jack's legacy of finding the vault and liberate Pandora! You understand?!"

"Funny. From our sources, it seems, Handsome Jack's girlfriend is Nisha, the Sheriff of Lynchwood. They have been dating for several years now." Xiao Lan said while reviewing his notes.

"Ha! That dead b*tch Nisha?! That was just a fling. Jack and I had an understanding, so it's no trouble at all and we are still very close. Oh how I miss him. I just wanna ***** [Warning: Contents are NSFW]*****." Selena said with such fake acting of love that it's not fooling anyone. Still, the interviewers were not about to question her honesty.

"I see you have quite an obsession with Handsome Jack, considering he has quite a … controversial reputation on Pandora." Patrick said. "In any case, in order to open the vault, you would actually need to obtain it from the Crimson Raiders in some way or another. Given Hyperion's particular background with the Raiders, I assume for you it won't be easy."

"I shall obtain that key, even if I have to pry it from those filthy dead Raiders' hands myself". Selena said with fist-clenched determination, before reverting back to a normal tone of voice. "That said, it won't come to that, for I have an intricate plan of obtaining it, one of which is classified. It is one of my ways of being a tactical specialist for the Hyperion Task Force."

"Oh, you were in a task force for Hyperion before?" Patrick was intrigued. "Please, do tell more."

"It was nothing worth mentioning." Selena said, suddenly with a more casual tone. "I did what any corporate mercenary would have done during those days. It was simple infiltration and counter-terrorist operations, that sort of thing."

"Heard during that time you were married." Xiao Lan suddenly stated. This statement has made Selena shocked all of a sudden. But not the type of shock that says 'I have no idea what you are taking about' but the shock that says 'Holy crap, how did you know that?' You can clearly see the drop of sweat coming from Selena's forehead. Sweat perspirated from fear.

"What?!" Selena suddenly tried to deny. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Let's face it, it's not that hard to find out." Xiao Lan continued to push Selena with the issue. "You have been married with someone for quite a while now and it was made no secret at all, until a couple of years ago when your spouse suddenly disappeared. It was said that your spouse is involved with some secretive but nasty Hyperion experiments and got into a lot of trouble-"

"YOU SHUT THE F*CK UP!" Selena finally snapped. In a brief moment, the Hyperion representative activated a special storage deck backpack on her back as she lunges to the interviewer who has tempted her fate. Suddenly the battle suit she worn that is so sexy and awesome just became sexier and awesomer. Small mechanical wings and jet thrusters digistruct from her back. The gauntlet from her left arm forms into an arm with a fiery-hot orange laser gun attached to it.

That's right. It's a jetpack with laser gauntlets…motherf*cker.

As Selena grasps hold of Xiao Lan, she pushed her into the wall and unleashed the laser hitting the wall and barely touching the skin of her cheek. This is a warning. Selena maintains her enraged mood while Xiao Lan remained strangely calm with a bit of smug.

Patrick stares at the moment for a few seconds before calmly trying to break away the two. "Woah, easy there. Clearly, my associate here has crossed the line." Patrick said. "She has no idea that saying things like these would offend you in anyway. Besides, these are just rumors, aren't they, Miss Chen?"

As both women try to get back their composure and resumed to their seats, Selena maintained a cautious gaze at her nosy interviewer while Xiao Lan maintained her cheerful attitude.

"Yes, Mr. Anderson. It was only just a rumor." Xiao Lan said calmly and smugly. "There are a lot of other rumors floating around. I'm just curious and wanting to confirm them. Please, don't take these at heart. I apologize if I offended you in anyway."

"No, it is I who should apologize." Selena said in a calmer tone "I have never reacted this way before. Now let's say we get back to the interview."

"Sure," Patrick said "I reckon that we have already covered much of your background. Now tell us a little about your expertise. What kind of skills or weaponry do you possess that stands out from the rest of the corporate vault hunters."

"She definitely doesn't lack in aggressiveness, I'll tell you that." Xiao Lan remarked. She can catch Selena glaring at her for that remark but maintained a cheerful face.

"Well, besides my skills in using the finest Hyperion weapons and knowledge in combat and military tactics, I'm also proficient in hacking and advanced cybernetics." Selena said. "As I have just demonstrated on your associate here, my Mk.7 WASP battle suit is equipped with a digistruct-fusion mechanism that allows the wearer to transform into a human jetpack. Its capabilities are that of similar to one of those Hyperion surveyors that you often see flying around Pandora during Hyperion's occupation on Pandora. It's capable of short-burst flight at great speed and carries an assortment of weaponry and defensive mechanisms, among them a laser attached to my left arm, which I've also demonstrated to your associate here."

Selena and Xiao Lan are clearly not in good terms here. As much as any man would want to see an unrestrained all-out fight between two women (if you know what I mean), Patrick had a feeling that this one isn't going to end well. Regardless, he maintains a stern attitude.

"Such impressive technology. I have no idea Hyperion ingenuity has come this far. Clearly, if any vault hunter were to go against you, they got quite a fight in their hands." Patrick tries to appease the Hyperion combat specialist. He tries to maintain a cool composure but the sweat of fear on his forehead clearly gives it away.

"Oh my yes. Clearly, a lot of effort was put into making that battle suit of yours." Xiao Lan said with a mildly elated tone. "Effort that comes in the form of torturous human labor and unethical human experiments that I've always heard about from Hyperion, perhaps." Just as Patrick was about to cool the tension down, Xiao Lan heat it back up. Patrick was like the cooling water and Xiao Lan was like the hot-ass fire. They are like polar opposites in terms of their style of interviewing, which when combined, would really mess with anyone who goes through an interview with them.

"Rumors, I assure you. There has yet been proof of that. We don't seem to have any. Isn't that right, Ms. Chen?" Patrick corrected Xiao Lan.

"Why yes, of course, Mr. Anderson. Whatever you say." Xiao Lan happily replied.

Selena can only react with a face that says 'What have I gotten myself into?'

"So, Selena, since we already know your motivation with involving in this event, which is to continue the legacy of Handsome Jack, what will you do with the prize money if you were to win?" Xiao Lan asked.

"Hm, of course it will be used to fund Hyperion in its quest to purify Pandora and the rest of the borderlands. I shall finish what Handsome Jack has failed. I shall give rise to his vision." Selena said with conviction. "All hail Handsome Jack! Glory to Handsome Jack!. Long Live Handsome Jack!"

"Okay, I think that shall be it for today." Patrick said, trying to finish up before the Handsome Jack-obsessed madwoman continues her rant. "Tune in next time, when we come back with another vault hunt-"

"Handsome Jack had sex with all your mothers and gives birth to golden children of light!" Selena practically yelled out loud before the ECHO frequency was cut off.

~A couple hours later~

Selena was finally out of the room. The two interviewers were just finishing up the scrap work and be prepared for tomorrow's interview with the next corporate vault hunter. That was when Patrick was about to ask Xiao Lan something that had intrigued him during the interview.

"What were you thinking? Telling our interviewee stuff like that." Patrick said.

Xiao Lan raises her head to look at Patrick as if she doesn't know what he is talking about.

"Regardless of whether it is true or not, you shouldn't tell her about delicate information. It's not within our policy to do so. The information shall only be known once the interviewee wants it to be known." Patrick said loudly, then going back to a soft and concerned voice. "Besides, it seems that she really doesn't want that secretive information to be known. You almost got scorched in the face with a Hyperion precision combat laser."

"Oh, Patrick. Your concerned face for me is so cute." Xiao Lan said with a carefree attitude. "Anyway, you don't need to worry about me. I know that lovely little blonde would hurt a hair on my head, which is good because I have quite a lovely head of hair."

"Where did you get that information, anyway?" Patrick confusingly asked. "The one about her being married? Or was it just really one of your made-up rumors, using it to tempt her into killing you in a hundred different ways. A way to dissect her mind and see what ticks?"

"Hehe, I assure you, if I were to make up rumors about people, they'll be more creative." Xiao Lan said. "No, what I've got here is some juicy and super-legit information about our fellow Hyperion tactical specialist. Something that seems hidden, but actually is not. Something that would really make her seem more interesting than she appears."

Patrick raised an eyebrow. Even though he and Xiao Lan have only been working together for a short amount of time, he had already figured out most of her antics and would put up with things that others wouldn't because he is just that type of guy. Maybe the corporate board put them two together for that mainly that reason. Sure any individual interviewer would do the job moderately well. But for events as crazy as a Pandoran corporate vault hunt, it requires two interviewers that work well together and are capable of really getting inside the head of the interviewee. Ratings would be higher this way.

"How would you even have obtained such information?" Patrick said. "And what else could you be hiding from me?"

"Sorry, but a woman always keeps a secret well to herself" Xiao Lan said with a wink and an index finger on her lips, representing 'hush-hush'. "You'll just have to figure it out some other way." And with that she turned around, finished up her work, and left the room.

Patrick sees her exit the room and sighed. "You are quite a handful to work with, you know that?" Patrick said to her, knowing she couldn't hear him. "I like it."


	5. Jakobs Interview

Chapter 5: Jakobs Interview

Yet again, we come back to the room where a lot has happened and a lot more could have happened, not that anyone would want it to happen. Luckily, at the face of the two interviewers today came a Jakobs corporate representative who was admittedly was quite peaceful compared to the others that they have interviewed.

Perhaps too peaceful…

ZzZzZzzzzzz…..SNORE!….ZzZzZzzzzzz

The representative is actually asleep.

The two interviewers would wake their interviewee up if it wasn't for the fact that past abrupt interactions with corporate vault hunters never ended well. Caution is most definitely required.

Caution that someone else in this room doesn't have.

"Is anyone going to wake him up?" the cameraman said. "We already rolling."

The interviewers broke their eye contact at the sleeping representative to glare at the idiotic cameraman, as if they are trying to tell him they are too afraid to wake him up.

"Are you crazy?!" Xiao Lan whispered at a strangely scared tone compared to normal. "We don't want to wake him up. What if he wakes up and tries to shoot us or something?"

"Well, you aren't afraid of it the last time someone tries to laser-weld your face?" Patrick whispered. "What's different now?"

"First of all, I got dirt on her, so everything is anticipated." Xiao Lan whispered loudly. "Second, let's just say it's woman's intuition, but this fellow here seems to bear something strong within him that makes him much more dangerous, I can tell."

"Oh, don't give me that woman's intuition crap." Patrick quietly replied. "Besides, are you sure that it isn't just the smell of dead fish and rotten eggs coming from him? Seriously, when has he last taken a bath?"

"You think he's dead?" Xiao Lan replied, slowly losing her quiet tone.

"How could he be dead? He's snoring!" Patrick said, finally returning to normal voice.

Just as the two interviewers were arguing, the Jakobs representative's let out a yawn as his appearance finally came into view. You could almost mistaken him as a cowboy coming from the good ol' Wild West, which is not totally uncalled for given Jakobs's wild-Western style in making guns. He is a middle aged man with lightly-tanned skin and a roughly shaven beard. His dark-brunette ruffled hair was mostly covered by his large dark-gray cowboy hat. He wears a gray-and-brown dress shirt and vest combo underneath a short dark-gray cloak covering just around the shoulders, chest, and stomach area. The strange thing about the cloak is that it seems to have a line of a strange pattern etched near along the edge of the cloak, pattern that you might find on those Eridian relics. What's even stranger is a pendant holding the cloak together has a large vault symbol etched on it as well. 'Maybe it's a promotional thing,' the interviewers thought. Alongside that, there are his dark-gray pants and dark-brown cowboy boots and you've got yourself more or less a cowboy, albeit a sleepy one it seems.

Just when the cowboy-looking representative was about to finish his yawn, he wakes and begin to get out of his comfortable sleeping position from his chair to say something. "Oh hey, when did you fellas come by?" the Jakobs representative said with his western-style accent.

"We just came here a little while ago. We saw you already asleep there and thought it would be rude to wake you up, so we didn't bother to wake you but also it would be rude otherwise since we blahblahblah-" Xiao Lan said very quickly. Xiao Lan was nervous and just went on full random ranting mode for a brief moment before Patrick quickly cups her mouth with his hand.

"What we meant to say was, let's get on with the interview." Patrick said calmly.

"Right. Excuse me for sleeping on you like that." the Jakobs representative said. "I came by to this studio kinda early and figured you fellas need some time fixing things up, so I just took some shuteye. Apologies." This cowboy was surprisingly well-mannered and friendly from its first impressions with the interviewers. Yet one of the interviewers remains ever so cautious. You guess which one.

"Well, yes. Um, apology accepted, I suppose." Xiao Lan said cheerfully with a hint of nervousness. "Now let's get the camera rolling." The interviewer then signal the cameraman to roll the camera. The cameraman complied as the interviewers get ready for yet another interview.

"Welcome, fellow viewers, to another episode of the Pandoran Brand Allegiance Vault Hu-" Patrick was saying but was just cut-off by his new interviewee.

"By the way, is anyone hungry?" the Jakobs representative said. "Cuz it's a damn shame there is no kitchen around and I didn't bring my kitchen set with me. Otherwise, I would have whipped us up some grub. Man, I knew it was a bad idea to skip breakfast. You know, there is this skag butt-cheek meat sandwich recipe that I've been dying to try out, too." The Jakobs representative was rubbing his growling belly as the interviewers were looking at each other confused.

"Um, there's a refreshment table at the back if you like." Xiao Lan said politely. "Just to make sure, you are the vault hunter representative sent by the Jakobs corporation to go in a corporate vault hunt, right? We don't want to get you confused with some chef that we supposedly never ordered to be here."

"Oh, nah. Of course, I'm the representative of my father's stingy company or whatever." the Jakobs representative said. "Just because a fella like cooking, don't mean he couldn't hold on to a gun and shoot you right between the eye. Gotta remember that." As he said with the corresponding hand gestures, Patrick and Xiao Lan are still wondering what the f*ck is wrong with this guy. "The name's Monty Jakobs, by the way. Well, technically it's Montgomery Jakobs the Fifth, but let's just say I work well with a shorter and easier-to-remember name, know what I'm saying. Hehehe, please, just call me Monty, or Mr, Jakobs if you prefer."

"Very well, Mr. Jakobs." Patrick continued. "As you know, this event is basically like a contest to see which of the representatives of the various corporations can obtain the enigmatic yet powerful vault on Pandora. They say that whoever opens the vault shall obtain various rewards such and wealth, fame, or power. So far, two vaults were already opened and it has triggered a massive eruption of this precious element called Eridium, which has made the former Hyperion president Handsome Jack very rich. This has tempted all of the corporations to come to an agreement to fight for the vaults on Pandora on even grounds so as to prevent unnecessary yet costly corporate wars. You will be representing the Jakobs corporation to that end."

"Funny how even the Jakobs corporation were taking an interest in vault technology. I always thought of them as being old-fashioned and traditional." Xiao Lan added.

"Yeah, well hey, we might not have been involved much in taking advantage of new technology before, but seeing as how other corporations are doing it, we felt like we're just peer-pressured into doing so ourselves." Monty said. "Besides, we might not have been involved in vault-hunting before, but we have been involved on Pandora before. Remember Jakobs Cove?"

"Boy, do I? Sure wish I didn't, given the circumstances." Xiao Lan nervously said.

Xiao Lan was right to not wanting to remember. Jakobs Cove was one of the major establishments set up by the Jakobs corporation in recent years. It was originally used as a base to obtain wood, which is essential in creating some of Jakob's finest guns. Jakobs Cove was eventually shut down due to a zombie outbreak of some sort, so whenever you think of Jakobs Cove, you will be reminded of zombies desperately coming at you and go nom nom nom on your brains.

"Yeah, well okay. Bad example." Monty said. "God, that sure puts off my appetite for brains, and I've eaten plenty."

The two interviewers were shocked to hear that statement, wondering maybe he's an actual zombie in disguise and that they should get ready to load their shotguns.

"Oh, not actual human brains." Monty said, relieving the two interviewers of their fears. "I'm talking about animal brains. Those delicious ones you find in them gourmet dishes. Got a distinct flavor to it. Speaking of Pandora, I've had skag brains once. You fellas have skag brains before?"

The interviewers shook their heads while being a little bit annoyed that the interviewee is getting sidetracked from the main interview topic. If people were watching this, they would confuse this as a cooking show.

"Man, you fellas are missing a real opportunity, I tell ya." Monty said while taking out a stalk of wheat to chew on. "By the way, do you fellas want to chew on one of these? Helps me stave off hunger. Don't know if it works on you, though." Monty hands the interviewers a few stalks of wheat as he says that.

The interviewers shook their heads again while getting increasingly annoyed at the interviewee practically going off the rails here.

"We're fine, Mr. Jakobs. Now, if you don't mind me asking, this is not a cooking show, so would you please stay on the show's topic and refrain from making cooking references?" Xiao Lan said, struggling to be cheerfully polite.

"Oh, excuse me for my rudeness, my fair lady." Monty said, with its sincere and polite tone almost wash away Xiao Lan's irritability towards him. "The point is, the Jakobs corporation has been establishing on Pandora for quite a while now. Heck, we even provide Pandora some of its finest guns on the planet. Surely, if there are vaults or whatever that needed to be hunted down on Pandora, the Jakobs corporation wouldn't miss a heck of a chance to join in. Besides, I've already been on Pandora before, and stayed there for quite a while now."

This statement intrigued the two interviewers. Surely, given Pandora's reputation for being a bandit-riddled wasteland, anyone who's claimed to have 'stayed there for a while' would at least had been quite a badass.

"We were curious. Mr. Jakobs." Patrick said curiously. "Tell us a little bit about your stay on Pandora."

"Oh, it was nothin' much. Just went there for a hunting expedition like I always do. Encountered some bandits here and encountered some hungry skags there. It's all friendly and such." Monty said while the interviewers let out a weak chuckle to the term 'friendly' being used to describe Pandora. "Gotta tell ya, nothing beats the feeling of traveling in the unknown open wastes and digging out ammo from piles of poop just to hunt down some wildlife a mile away with you trusty ol' sniper rifle…and then cooking and eating 'em, hehe!"

Xiao Lan let out a dry heave.

"Excuse my associate here. She is just being sensitive." Patrick remarked.

Oh no you didn't! You just called that b*tch sensitive! Noboby calls her that! I can tell Patrick is going to get a beating from Xiao Lan afterwards….if you know what I mean….ha, no really, an actual beating…..What? What you think I was going to say?

"Oh, no, it's fine. I mean I've always wanted to become a hunter/survivalist/chef as I grew up. I prefer the wandering lifestyle, ya see? Most of my time, I just want to roam around the open lands of nature, then using the finest guns to hunt down exotic creatures, and then using whatever I could find to cook up the a tasty meal. Mmm-mmm" Monty said with such a bright shine in his eyes as if doing those things was truly his life's goal, before returning to a depressing yet slightly angry tone. "But no, I'm the son of the CEO of a major corporation, so I gotta take over the company or whatever. Good lord, I hate my father sometimes."

"Your father is the CEO of the Jakobs corporation and he is asking his son to complete this dangerous task of hunting vaults on Pandora." Patrick said, raising an eyebrow. "Kind of a bold move, wouldn't you say?"

"Well, yeah. But in another sense, it will be a great promotional thing going on here. Who else could you trust other than family? Vault hunting included. That's kind of our company's motto here." Monty said. "Besides, I know my way around the gun, which is part of the perks of being raised in a gun-manufacturing company, and I know my way around danger. Whenever I could, I would always go to various wilderness locales to hunt and cook whatever that looks or smells funny." That statement made Xiao Lan gag a little. "In any case, you could say I'm perfect for the job."

"I'm guessing that it was forced upon by your father for you to take this vault hunting job?" Patrick said.

"Oh, not at all. I pretty much agreed to the idea of this vault hunting business, something that my father and I can agree on for once. The fact is, even though I don't really believe much in the legend of the vault and all that crap, it sure sounds like a heck of an adventure, and I do like myself one of them adventures, hehe." Monty said with an enthusiastic tone. "Besides, it's time to visit Pandora again. Aside from discovering new wildlife and creating new recipes for it, I got some old friends to visit, and I sure did made some friends along the way on Pandora."

"Well, that's very nice. Now what would you say are your skills and expertise in terms of vault hunting that you can provide that stands out from the rest of the competition? You know, aside from shooting people right between the eyes and making us hurl with your skag butt-cheek meat sandwich recipes" Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness.

"That's an awfully mean thing to say, ma'am. I forgive you, regardless." Monty said, again demonstrating his friendly and polite attitude. "And who says I need anything more to be qualified for vault-hunting. I got all the manpower I need in the various types of gun my company manufactures. I'm versatile with them all and don't need more."

"No grenade mods?" Patrick said, realizing that the Jakobs corporation mainly does not produce grenade mods, shields, or elemental weapons. In a contest where every contestant can only use their own brand of gear, that puts the Jakobs corporation at a disadvantage.

"Nope." Monty said casually.

"No shields?" Xiao Lan said.

"Nope." Monty said, even more casually.

"You know. We at the Pangolin and Anshin corporation make quite some quality shields." Xiao Lan suggested. "Maybe we can lend you one of ours."

"I don't think it's within our policy to do so, Ms. Chen." Patrick said.

"Really? That is quite sad. We'll most likely be seeing Mr. Jakobs here being pulverized by bullets with what little protection he has." Xiao Lan said with a convincing yet fake sense of concern for she is relishing the idea that anyone being pulverized by bullets would be quite a sight. Remember, kids, Xiao Lan Chen concerns no one!

"Aww, thanks for your concern, ma'am." Monty said without a sense of sarcasm, as if he is too naïve to realize the female interviewer was only toying with him. "But I'll be alright. I can handle well whatever Pandora throws at me with my reliable guns and even more reliable eyes and trigger finger."

"One last question, what would you do with the prize money if you were to even win this vault hunting event?" Patrick asked.

"Whoo-wee, there is a prize reward involved? How much?" Monty asked enthusiastically.

"It's being kept a secret. But it does depend on the contents of the vault and how many vaults you can find." Xiao Lan said. "They say that the money involved could be enough to buy an island."

"Huh, well in that case, I think I might use it to start settling down. You know I've always wanted to open a restaurant. Thinking of opening it out in the middle of a hunting ground, then let people hunt what they eat and we'll do the cooking for them. Got a nice theme to it, don't ya think?" Monty said, with the same genuine childlike enthusiasm that he have always had.

"We are not experts in the field." Xiao Lan replied with her fake cheerfulness. "Now to wrap things up, thank you viewers for watching today's Brand Allegiance Vault Hunt Event. We will see you next ti-" Xiao Lan said before being cut off yet again.

"By the way, don't suppose you guys would want to interview me more on my recipes, do ya? I came up with recipes for all sorts of critters. For Pandora, I got skag, rakk, spiderant, scythid…." Monty trails off before the cameraman finally finishes and turns off the ECHO recording.


	6. Maliwan Interview

Chapter 6: Maliwan Interview

Another day, another interview with a crazy vault hunter, it seems. The two interviewers, Patrick and Xiao Lan, are going out of their wits to try to figure out who the next representative is going to be, given as to what they have already encountered. All they know is that the next will be from the Maliwan corporation, therefore anticipating the interview to be colorful, to say the least.

As the two interviewers are sitting at their seats next to the oval desk in the same interview room, they wait for the representative to arrive. Surely enough, the representative has arrived on time and is …strangely carrying a sense of elegance within her.

The representative came into view. Weirdly, for a task such as vault hunting, this representative seems to be wearing a kimono and Japanese sandals. The kimono has the usual colors associated with Maliwan (white, orange, light blue, dark blue), with strips of white, orange, and light blue going across the body along the edge of the kimono, all under a mostly dark blue background. The representative herself has smooth tan-white skin, save for the small mole on her upper-left cheek barely reaching her eye, which only enhances her beauty. She also wears thin frameless glasses and has perfect long straight-cut azure/black hair. The back part of the hair is tied to a bun with a flower-like hair accessory that sticks out, while the front part was held together with a couple of colorful hairpins. Everything that ties the hair together have the signature colors of Maliwan, and combine it together with the woman's natural elegance, makes for one heck of a statement in terms of "dress to impress".

The representative herself seems to be from a very high societal class, for every step she takes towards her seat seems to be carefully placed as if to provide the most elegant way to take a step. The interviewers were simply baffled at the sight of this beautiful young woman as she walks towards them and calmly takes a seat.

One of the interviewers may or may not have a boner right now. That person may not necessarily be a male.

"Well, shall we get on to the interview? Or will you just keep staring at me?" the Maliwan representative finally spoke up after a couple seconds of taking her seat. Her slightly Asian-accented voice was that of a combination of angelic and stern. She puts up a face of slight seriousness as she spoke, as if every word that she speaks is being judged for perfection.

"Right, sorry, we are just baffled at how ….uh… different you look compared to the other contestants that we have interviewed." Xiao Lan said cheerfully and apologetically. "My, you look absolutely wonderful today. Where did you get that kimono? Oh and those adorable hairpins?" As Xiao Lan asked the Maliwan representative, there were stars in her eyes, as if she both adores and envies the interviewee's sense of fashion in front of her. Patrick tries to interrupt by clearing his throat.

"We are not here to discuss fashion, Ms. Chen. Now, as the representative of Maliwan has stated, let's get on with the interview." Patrick said, maintaining its ever stern and serious tone of voice, as he signals the cameraman to get the cameras rolling. The cameraman complied as everyone was about to get ready for yet another vault hunter interview episode.

"Welcome to yet another episode of the Pandoran corporate vault hunting event. I'm Patrick Anderson and this is my co-host Xiao Lan Chen." Patrick said with his ever-manly voice. "We are here today to interview yet another corporate vault hunter, this time from the Maliwan corporation."

"Yes, Mr. Anderson." Xiao Lan intercepted Patrick's speech. "Our representative today dresses quite fashionably today. Got to say, for a task such as vault hunting, you would expect someone to dress more along the lines of, oh I don't know, battle-ready."

"I can assure you, Ms. Chen, that I am fully capable of handling the dangers of Pandora, despite of my attire." the Maliwan representative said while pushing up her glasses by the side a little. This slight adjustment of eyeglasses is an act of coolness that can only be demonstrated by people who wear eyeglasses, perhaps to compensate for the lack of coolness of people who wear eyeglasses. But no, wearing eyeglasses is cool once again!

"Your attire is certainly something to speak of. Now, tell me, where would a girl like me get a lovely kimono like the one you are wearing. I swear I just want to rip it off your body so I can wear it myself." Xiao Lan said, clearly going off the rails here. Little does anyone know, Xiao Lan have a tendency to lose control when there is someone who dresses prettier than her be at the same room. So, right now, she is only barely maintaining her social etiquette, holding back the beast of fashion within her.

"I'm sorry, but I don't see how this is relevant to the topic of this show, which is vault hunting, I presume." the Maliwan representative said while sweat-dropped, slightly nervous at this particular interviewer's behavior.

"I apologize for my associate's tenacity for fashion. She doesn't do well being around people that dress more fashionably than her." Patrick said. Just as he finishes the sentence, Xiao Lan mentally snapped.

"GIVE IT TO ME, B*TCH!" Xiao Lan yelled. Just as she yelled, she lunges to the Maliwan representative like a feral animal, hoping to do what she had said earlier, ripping the kimono off and wear it herself. The Maliwan representative was determined to not let it happen. Like an expert martial artist, the Maliwan representative grapple Xiao Lan and pin her down onto the floor and hold her in an armlock.

"AHH, the price you pay for fashion!" Xiao Lan mumbled while being pinned onto the floor.

"Is she always like this?" the Maliwan representative asked.

"You have no idea…." Patrick said while sweat-dropped.

~~~A few moments later~~~

In order for the interview to continue, Patrick and the cameraman decided to use duct-tape to tie Xiao Lan onto a chair, the same chair that is still being placed next to the interview table. Xiao Lan gave a wild animal look as Patrick and the Maliwan representative is seated next to her at the oval table. The camera had been rolling during this entire process.

"I'm sorry she is still here, but she has to stay in order for the interview to go on. It's corporate policy." Patrick said with an apologetic face.

"Give me your beauty, my precious, aha ahahahaha…." Xiao Lan said with a crazed-up voice. Patrick sighed and had no choice but to put duct tape over her mouth as well to keep her from interrupting the interview. After that is done, Patrick proceeds with the interview.

"I feel pity for her. Perhaps next time we meet, I shall buy her a lovely kimono and some decorative hair pins." the Maliwan representative said with a sincere tone.

"Don't feed the beast within her." Patrick said blankly. "Now, on with the interview. Tell us a little bit about yourself, Ms….."

"Akiyama. Akiyama Kazuki." the Maliwan representative said with a polite tone.

"Ah, Ms. Akiyama. Nice to meet you." Patrick said politely. "Now, I was aware that the CEO of Maliwan goes by the name of Akiyama Kenji. What relationship do you have with him?"

"He is my father, Mr. Anderson." Kazuki replied with a polite nod.

"So you are the daughter of the CEO of Maliwan, you say. Last time, I heard, Mr. Akiyama had no daughters, only two sons."

"Well, yes. I'm what you call...illegitimate." Kazuki said, with a low tone of voice as if too ashamed to be heard, before raising her voice to make a statement. "My father and mother met when my father was already married. My mother was a painter and she was the loveliest mother I ever get to have. My mother never wanted any legitimacy. All we ever needed was each other. That was until…"

The interviewee paused for a couple of seconds, reminiscing the events that happened that day. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Kazuki let out a sniff and a tear. It is apparent what she is about to say brings back painful memories.

"Um, you don't have to continue if you don't want to." Patrick suggested.

"No, I insist. It needs to be known. It is what makes me who I am today." Kazuki insisted. "It was at that day, when I was only 13 years old, that I lost my mother in a house fire accident. I was devastated. I lost my mother and my home and I've got nobody to take care of me. That was when my father came and took me in."

Suddenly, what was once an elegant and beautiful young woman became a woman with a horrible and tragic past. Who would have knew? The tone of this interview went dark pretty fast and now even the feral Xiao Lan who was previously mumbling under the duct tape became quiet for a moment.

"You've got to understand that, back then, the CEO of a major corporation such as Maliwan had a reputation to keep. If word got out of my illegitimacy, all the news headlines and the paparazzi…..we'll never see the end of it." Kazuki said, trying to recover from her heart-breaking story. "However, my father insists in taking care of me, of finally taking the responsibility of being a good father. While I never want to inconvenient my father, I'm glad that he took me in."

"I reckon that doesn't go well with the rest of the Akiyama family." Patrick said.

"Of course not. My…..other mother was furious of this event. However, she was stringent, but she was not unreasonable. I have endured the hardship of learning the basics of social etiquette through my new mother's teachings, hoping that one day I would get her acceptance. Aside from that, this was basically kept a secret…..until now."

"Why would you reveal this secret now? What changed?" Patrick asked intriguingly.

"Why, the corporate vault hunt on Pandora, of course. This is perhaps once in a lifetime opportunity that major corporations from all over the galaxy get to settle on an agreement through representation." Kazuki said with determination. "Seeing as it is a dangerous job that could highly improve the Maliwan corporation's influence, it is the perfect job for me. I get to help the company in doing something truly amazing. What better way to finally gain recognition from my family than to become a corporate vault hunter?"

"Well, yes. Whoever wins this corporate vault hunt event will gain incredible renown and possibly fortune. But how well prepared are you, Ms. Akiyama? Surely, seeing as how you can take down my associate here with ease, you must be well-versed in martial arts." Patrick said. This statement entices Xiao Lan to speak up.

"Mmph mhpphmhpmhpmh mhpmhmhp" Xiao Lan tries to mumble through her duct-taped mouth.

"Does she want to say somethi-" Kazuki said, before being cut off by Patrick.

"Ignore her." Patrick said, cutting off Kazuki's question.

"Ok, well for your question, I am well-versed in martial arts and using various Maliwan weaponry. As you have heard, we at Maliwan make some of the best elemental weapons. Killing enemies with the elements is the only elegant way to kill, and I am the best at killing with the elements. I even have a nickname from the associates of the Maliwan corporation. It's known as 'Princess of the Elements'" Kazuki coolly answers as she adjusts her glasses yet again. "As our philosophy states, killing is an art, guns are the brush, and bullets are the paint."

"I never thought that you can relate killing people with painting a Picasso. I guess I've heard it all, as they say." Xiao Lan said out loud.

Wait, Xiao Lan said something?

"How did you-" Patrick said as he saw the crazy interviewer finally free from her restraints.

"Oh please, I was getting out of restraints before you are even born!" Xiao Lan said, which is odd considering both interviewers are roughly the same age, but whatever. "Now, as for you, my pretty, RAWR!" Xiao Lan lunges into Kazuki yet again.

This time, Kazuki avoided a confrontational grapple. Instead she stepped back from the reaches of Xiao Lan and pull out something that looks like playing cards with weird relic symbols on it. Each card lights up a different color of fiery orange, shocking blue, corrosive green, and slag purple as if each card contains the energy of each element embedded within them.

"I'm sorry I have to do this." Kazuki said sincerely.

Kazuki elegantly but quickly throws the elemental cards at Xiao Lan, causing the feral interviewer to light up like a Christmas tree. Surrounding her body is an aura of different elemental colors bursting into thin air. After a couple of flashes, the aura was gone, leaving behind a downed Xiao Lan Chen, who seems like she's been through the toaster.

"Don't worry. She's not dead. But she will need medical attention afterwards." Kazuki said.

"Quite impressive, I'll say." Patrick said as he signals the cameraman to carry Xiao Lan away from the room and into a medical facility, to which the cameraman complied. Seeing as how the knocked-out interviewer was safely evacuated, Kazuki returned to her seat in the interview room.

"I reckon that was a trick you would be using during your vault hunting adventures?" Patrick continued with the interview.

"Ah, yes. This is known as the Talisman." Kazuki said as she pulls out a deck of cards, each with a different elemental color. "They are a set of throwing cards laced with a different elemental type, used to dispatch whatever gets in my way. Effective at medium and long range in combat. They are all stored in a special storage deck unit, which can also absorb elemental damage from my shield to create even more Talisman cards. In the right circumstances, I could have an unlimited amount of these cards. "

"Certainly given from what I've seen from the other vault hunters, you are going to need all the help you can get." Patrick said. He wasn't kidding about that. Other vault hunters either have an innate nature of killing or a great arsenal of crazy contraptions to back them up. One must not think that guns alone could carry you to victory in this vault hunt event.

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Anderson." Kazuki said with a determined look. "Regardless, I will do my best to win in this vault hunt event. I will not tarnish my family honor, nor will I tarnish my representing company's reputation."

"I see, so I reckon that once you win this vault hunt event, you would use the prize money to further invest and improve your corporation and or to help your family." Patrick said.

"That is correct. There is nothing more important than family and maintaining superiority for my company. It is within my legacy to uphold its honor and I shall take on this vault hunting business with the best of my determination." Kazuki said with a serious face as she clenches one of her fists. "Whatever stands in my way will be met with an elegant death."

"Well, that's it for today, viewers. Till we meet again next time on…." Patrick said, trying to end today's episode, but paused thinking that this particular vault hunter would say something witty and dramatic like most of the other vault hunters.

"Why are you stopping mid-sentence? Are there still more questions?" Kazuki said.

"Well, usually, the other vault hunters would say something witty and dramatic right before the end of each episode." Patrick said "I reckon you would do the same."

"Hmph, I would never do such a thing. That goes against the very essence of my elegant style of speech." Kazuki said.

"Ok, very well. Till we meet again next time on-" Patrick said before being cut off yet again.

"Kazuki….." Xiao Lan said, barging into the interview room, still in a burned and toasty state. Both Kazuki and Patrick looked at her wide-eyed.

"Oh my God, Ms. Chen. When will you stay down?" Patrick sighed while placing a hand on his forehead.

As Xiao Lan lunges at Kazuki while screaming like a cat, the screen gone black

What happened, you say? Well, you'll just have to read the next chapter to find out.


	7. Tediore Interview

Chapter 7: Tediore Interview

Due to unforeseen technical issues, the Corporate Brand Allegiance Vault Hunt was cancelled indefinitely.

…Ha, just kidding! Enjoy the reads, motherf*cker!

Last time, the vault hunting interview had certainly gone a bit hectic. Fortunately, a certain corporate vault hunter promised to take a certain interviewer to shop for the latest fashion in kimonos and colorful hairpins, prompting to turn the feral interviewer (aka crazy b*tch) into a nice and cooperative interviewer (aka not-so-crazy b*tch). Today, we see Xiao Lan dressed in a fashionable red-and-pink flower-patterned kimono and wearing a colorful flower hairpin as she happily skips though the hallway of the studio carrying shopping bags in each arm. Patrick was just walking on the opposite direction in front of her when he suddenly sees his fellow interviewer coming down the hallway.

"Where have you been? And….why are you dressed like that?" Patrick said urgently and then curiously.

"Oh, only the finest from Maliwan's fashion department. They say they don't usually make them in these colors but I called in a few…..favors." Xiao Lan said more cheerfully than usual. "That Kazuki-chan sure is a doll, isn't she?"

"Yeah, never mind that you practically try to rip her face off last time." Patrick said casually.

"You haven't even commented on my wears yet. Do I look pretty?" Xiao Lan said, blinking a few times while showing her puppy eyes.

"Yes, Ms. Chen, you look fabulous." Patrick said flatly while sweat-dropped. He wasn't about to comment negatively on his fellow interviewer's looks, not when what happened last time to the interviewee could happen to him. Given what little but thorough knowledge he knows about her, he would avoid trying to make her angry at all cost. Admittedly, he was honest when he said she looks fabulous. "Now we've got another vault hunter to interview. Strangely enough, he said he knows you."

"Oh really. Since we're doing the Tediore corporation now, I don't recall knowing anyone from Tediore. Who is he exactly?" Xiao Lan said curiously.

"He said he's your brother." Patrick said.

"Oh no….." Xiao Lan said, suddenly with a sense of doom lurking.

Xiao Lan opened the door to the interview room. "Hello, Brandon, how are you -?" Xiao Lan said with her usual mock cheerfulness, before being cut off by someone.

"SIS! I'm so glad to see you! Wahhhhh!" the Tediore representative suddenly cried out loud as he is literally breaking down in tears and giving his supposed sister a pathetic hug. "This is all a mistake! I don't want to be a vault hunter! I just want to go back to sales! I have a wife and three kids, for crying out loud! Why is this happening to me?! OH GOD, WHY!?"

The Tediore representative came into view. He is a middle-aged man who admittedly looks a bit too scrawny and pathetic to be a vault hunter. He wears a short-sleeved white dress shirt with a tie, dark-gray business pants, and dark-brown loafers. His jet-black hair was formed into an unimpressive and generic short-haired hairstyle. In addition, he wears these huge thick-framed eyeglasses. Overall, he looks more like a typical office boy than a typical vault hunter.

"There, there. There's no need to be so upset. Everything is going to be alright." Xiao Lan said softly while patting his brother in the head as he is still hugging his sister. "How's Mary, by the way? She doing okay with the kids?"

"Sniff, yeah she's doing okay. The kids were great and all- Wait a minute, stop changing the subject!" Brandon said, at first recovering from his hysteria and then straight up shouted. "There is ….there is no way this could be real. You definitely don't usually dress like that. What is this vault hunting crap? Where am I? This is obviously a dream. Right! I'm dreaming! I need to wake up, damn it!" Brandon proceeds to repeatedly slap himself in the face.

"Brandon, Brandon, why don't you sit down." Xiao Lan said softly as she guided him to a seat in the interview room as she and Patrick sit in their usual seats. "How about a cup of tea and we'll talk this over?"

Xiao Lan signals the cameraman to get Brandon a cup of tea. The cameraman replied with a flip of the bird, trying to say 'Who do you think I am? The maid?' Xiao Lan then gave the cameraman a mean look, trying to say 'Do it or you die!' The cameraman sweat-dropped out of fear and complied. Brandon was nervously drinking his hot cup of tea as his hands were shaking.

"Now let's start from the beginning. Tell me what happened?" Xiao Lan said softly but cheerfully, almost as if she is mocking her brother in his situation.

"Ok, ok, uh….where should I start? Ok, how about the fact that I just got laid off from my last job about 9 months ago. Yeah, it was so tragic, what with the economy and stuff. So sad. And I almost have enough money to pay up the mortgage this month, now I have to scrap off my life savings just to get enough money to buy diapers for the baby, it was just horrible, I just –" Brandon said nervously as he was twiddling with his fingers, before being cut off by Xiao Lan's throat-clearing noise.

"We're not here to listen to your life story. I already know about most of it. God, you sound like mom sometimes." Xiao Lan said with a hint of being annoyed.

"Mom takes great care of us. Don't you disrespect her." Brandon said angrily.

"Correction. Mom takes great care of YOU. I take great care of YOU. You were always the favorite one, what with you being the youngest? I have to be the responsible one! The one to watch you when you are being bullied by kids that are shorter than you! The one to find you a new change of clothes when you wet yourself in the middle of the streets!" Xiao Lan said with increasing anger, while Brandon blush out of embarrassment. "I don't even have time to go shopping or go on a date because of it! How do you think I feel?!"

"Well, uh…you-you were always mean to me! Remember that time when you replace my shampoo with glue! My hair became a mess! I couldn't take my middle school graduation picture because of it!" Brandon said with matching anger. "Besides, you only really mad because I got married before you even though you are older than me!"

"Oh, don't you dare bring that up, mister! If it wasn't for me to tell you to grow a spine, you wouldn't have the courage to ask Mary out on a date! You wouldn't be married if it weren't for me!" Xiao Lan practically yelled. They were both at each other's necks for a while until Patrick finally silence them and break them apart.

"Hey! HEY! Listen, now's not the time for a good old fashion family reunion, we both got an interview to do, so if Mr. Chen here is not…wait a minute, are we already rolling?" Patrick said looking at the cameraman holding on to a turned-on camera.

"Well, yeah, I figured this will surely get some good ratings, even though it might not be relevant. Besides, we can always edit it out later." the cameraman said. "Oh wait, we can't. This is live. Ehehe…."

"I'm gonna murder you, cameraman!" Xiao Lan screamed with figurative fire coming out of her mouth.

"For the last time, my name is –" the cameraman said.

"We don't have time for this." Patrick said urgently. "Either this representative get out or he's staying. Which is it?"

"Oh, he's staying. What, you're too chicken to do this little interview of ours?" Xiao Lan said with a mocking childish tone.

"What? I shouldn't even be here! This is a mistake, I tell you. I won't be representing for anybody. No way!" Brandon said.

Xiao Lan try to tempt Brandon into joining the vault hunt by making chicken sounds. Seriously, chicken sounds.

"You know you guys are acting like children in front of a live TV show, right? Man, this is so fun to watch." the cameraman said jokingly.

"Shut up, cameraman!" Xiao Lan yelled.

"How many times do I have to tell you?! My name is –" the cameraman said before being cut off yet again.

"Ok, listen, here's the deal! Brandon, we're on a tight schedule here, so would you just please do the interview with us first? Later, we'll see if we could get you out of this mess." Patrick said. "No promises, though. We'll have to talk to the corporate board about it."

"Oh, uh, I don't know. That seems pretty um….I don't know the word for it. Maybe I'll take some time and think about it some mo –" Brandon said with a cowardly voice before being cut off by his sister.

"Just do the frickin interview already!" Xiao Lan said loudly and angrily. You could swear you can imagine her breathe figurative fire at this point.

"Fine, fine, I'll do it. Just don't say anything too loud. I'm scared." Brandon practically whimpered.

"Sigh, how did he ever manage to get a wife?" Patrick said as a three of them take their respective seats. Xiao Lan finally returns to her normal mockly cheerful mode, now that her brother complied to her requests.

"Because he has a wonderful sister like me." Xiao Lan said cheerfully. "Now, Brandon, why don't you tell the audience a little bit about yourself." Xiao Lan guided Brandon's view to the camera as she says that.

"Oh, uh, hi, um…uh….I'm Brandon Chen and I …..uh…..um….ehhhh" Brandon said softly as he looked at the camera. It's as if he is paralyzed in fear and can't say anything.

"Oh, geez, really." Xiao Lan said, trying not to lash out again, knowing how his brother reacts.

"I'm sorry! I've got stage fright! I'm camera shy! I can't say anything proper in front of a camera! This is impossible!" Brandon said out loud facing the two interviewers.

"It's alright. Just pretend the camera is not there." Patrick said softly. "You can do this. You're a vault hunter."

"But I'm not a vault hunter! I told you guys already, didn't I?" Brandon said.

"Then tell us how you got yourself here." Patrick said. "Tell us how a guy like you came to this spot representing the Tediore corporation in a Pandoran vault hunt?"

"It's all so messed up. I got laid off from my last job, so I figured need to start finding myself a new job. And I found one in Tediore, working in sales." Brandon said, now with a bit more confidence. "Everything is working well so far, for the last couple of months working there. That is until my boss pulled a rug under me and said that I just got nominated to represent for Tediore in this Pandora corporate vault hunt. I said 'You're kidding, right?' and he said 'Probably. Anyway, good luck.' The next thing I knew, I have security forces literally dragging me to an airship and bring me here. I heard about you, sis, that you were going to be hosting this show, so I cried for your help, hoping you can get me out of this mess. I beg of you."

Brandon was literally in tears when he said those words. You almost felt pity for him, but then you thought to yourself 'He's a grown man and he is crying like a little girl. Jesus Christ, grow a spine already.'

"There, there. Don't cry, my dear little brother. I'm sure everything would work out fine." Xiao Lan said softly, while reaching over the table to pat her brother on the back to comfort him. You may think she pities him, but then she sighs as she rolls her eyes, thinking 'Can't believe I have to deal with this sh*t.'

"I'll try to get in contact with the corporate board. See what they have to say about this." Patrick said as he takes out the communicator yet again for some corporate justice.

Patrick and Xiao Lan was facing away from Brandon as they talk with the corporate board through the communicator about the situation. After several moments, Patrick and Xiao Lan returned facing Brandon to bring him the news.

"Well, what did they say?" Brandon asked nervously.

"Well, it turns out there is no mistake in the selection process of the representative. The Tediore corporation's marketing department figured that their guns are so good that even a wimp like you can use it to hunt down a vault on Pandora." Patrick said sternly, not aware of how dumb this idea sounded. "They set out to have the weakest and most pathetic member of their corporation to do the vault hunting job for them. Everything is planned out and set in stone. You even signed a contract for it."

"Wait, what?! I never remember singing any contract!" Brandon said outrageously.

"It turns out they got your thumbprint when you were dragged here." Xiao Lan said. "It says here that if you were to forcedly resign the vault hunting position, you have to pay a fine of $1 billion."

"$1 billion! This is crazy! This is extortion, I tell you! EXTORTION!" Brandon yelled while simultaneously pulling his hair out from stress. "Wait, wait, maybe I can get myself disqualified. I get to go back and don't have to pay the fine, right?"

"Not happening. It states that you stay on Pandora until one of the contestants finds and claims the vault." Patrick said. "Or if you die. In which case, we retrieve your body. There are no loopholes, no exceptions, nothing we can do to get you out of this mess. We've checked. I'm sorry."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Brandon distressfully yelled. He gets up from his seat, with tears in his eyes, and goes to the nearest wall to repeatedly bang his head on it as he said "No! No! No! No! No!"

"Well, look on the bright side." Xiao Lan said with a slightly cheerful tone, as if not aware of her brother's distress. "You could get out of it if you survive long enough for someone to find the vault. You could even find the vault yourself and get really rich."

"Do I look like a vault hunter to you?!" Brandon exclaimed. "I work in sales! I'm an office guy! I can't do sh*t when it comes to shooting people and finding ancient treasure!"

"You do have the package that the Tediore corporation has given you right?" Patrick said. "The CEO of Tediore said it contains a device that will give you the edge when hunting the vaults. He even swears by it that even a weak and pathetic guy like you can use it to wipe away the competition."

"Sniff, really." Brandon said as he takes out a special Tediore-brand storage deck unit from his pocket, along with what looks like a manual. "They only gave me this thing over here. I don't know what it does. I suppose there's the manual for that, but that's it."

"Ooh, how interesting, a device from Tediore corporation that claims to wipe away the competition." Xiao Lan excitedly said. "Why don't you open it and see what's inside?"

Brandon gave his sister a blank look before looking back at the storage deck unit he has in his hand. Surely, he may be not gun-toting vault hunter, but he had used a storage deck unit before. It's mandatory to understand the working of various Tediore products before you can sell them. One remarkable thing about Tediore guns is that you can throw them like a grenade when you try to reload, giving them remarkable reload speeds. That said, having a gun that explodes doesn't sound good on paper, but it worked out for the best. Brandon is just as curious as the interviewers as to what is contained inside the storage deck unit.

Brandon began opening the storage deck unit. Suddenly it pops out a Tediore gun that practically bounces out of the storage deck unit. It landed in the room somewhere on the ground. Then, a couple of seconds later, it suddenly exploded. All of the people in the room were moderately surprised by it.

Then suddenly, another gun pops out of the storage deck unit. It landed on the ground and then exploded. Then another gun, doing the same thing. Then another. Then another. Then a couple more. It's like the storage deck unit is showering the entire room with exploding Tediore guns, causing a massive panic among the people inside it. Everyone was screaming as they were dodging from the exploding guns that were constantly flowing out of the storage deck unit.

"OH MY GOD! Turn that thing off!" Xiao Lan exclaimed as she was quick on her feet to dodge the shower of exploding guns.

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" Brandon yelled as he tries to turn that thing off.

"Don't point it at me, you idiot!" Xiao Lan yelled as she seeks to hide under the oval desk. Finally, Brandon manages to turn off the storage deck unit and the fountain of exploding guns abruptly ended. What's left is a room with walls left with exploding scorch marks as black smoke linger in the air.

Xiao Lan's outfit is definitely ruined, that's for sure. She won't be happy about that.

As Xiao Lan get out from under the table, she looked at Brandon with an angry frown. Brandon looked back at his sister and only display an apologetic smile.

"Um, can I at least call my wife?" Brandon said nervously.


	8. Torgue Interview

Chapter 8: Torgue Interview

Another day back at the same interview room where sh*t just got real, dawg. In fact, sh*t got real real fast that you won't be able to predict what I'm going to say next, but you may have an idea what it is, but really you don't.

Bananas!

Anyway, the last incident with the Tediore representative's mishap with his own gear had really left the room in ruins. The exploding scorch marks are still there on the walls, and you couldn't help but still smell the odor of something burnt linger in the air. Maintenance crew did everything they could to make the room look appealing with such short period of time. Regardless, the interviewers got an interview to do with the next interviewee, so let's get interviewing.

The two interviewers, Patrick and Xiao Lan (Xiao Lan back to her usual red business wear since her dumbass brother ruined her kimono), are already at their respective seats inside the interview room. The cameraman is by the side, working on the camera, as always. Yet, there is something troubling them all. The representative of the Torgue corporation, the one they are supposed to be interviewing today, is running a bit late. Everyone was about to be bored out of their mind, yet couldn't help but feel a little bit tense as to what kind of a person the next interviewee is going to be. Because of the tension, the room was getting a bit quiet. Then someone broke the silence.

"I wonder what kind of person we are going to be interviewing today?" Xiao Lan curiously asked out of nowhere.

"Well, given what happened last time, I hope this person is not too…..extreme." Patrick replied.

"DID SOMEBODY SAY EXTREME?!" a voice from outside of the interview room suddenly shouted out.

Suddenly, someone practically kicked down the door of the interview room from outside and enter the room in a running dash. Then, in blinding speed, this mysterious person did a flipping jump and landed on the oval table, but not before kicking Patrick right in the face, causing him to slapstickly fly to the other side of the room and slammed into the wall, creating a human-shaped dent on it. This mysterious person came into view.

Judging by the smaller-than average body size and voice heard from before, it seems that this person is a boy in the mid-teens. Despite that, he has a lean muscular build to him, as if he is a dedicated lightweight bodybuilder, which is quite impressive for such a young teenager. He has light-tan skin and his eyes are covered by lean black sunglasses. He wears a bandana with an interesting color-pattern mix of green, yellow, and white-and-black checkered pattern, similar to that colored on to a typical Torgue gun. He wears an orange tank-top with the logo of 'Torgue' labeled right at the chest area, as if it is some sort of promotional thing. Along that, he also wears blue baggy pants and brand-name sneakers, along with a couple of gold chains wrapped around his neck and a silver chain along the waistband. That said, the most interesting feature about him is his long ginger dreadlocks and his wide-as-hell grin that almost reaches to the sides of the face, showing his bare shiny white teeth.

He almost reminded you of a certain someone from the Torgue corporation.

"Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosiveness!" the muscular teenage boy loudly said as he is flexing his muscles into different positions. "These are the ingredients of what makes a true MAN! For, you see, the universe did not start with a whimper, but with a BANG! A BIG BANG! So, with a BANG, I, K.C. Dynamo, shall start! With a BANG, I, K.C. Dynamo, shall end! And with a BANG, I, K.C. Dynamo shall BANG all who wants to be BANGed by those who wants to BANG others who wants to BANG me!"

Xiao Lan stared at this outrageous teenager standing on the table with wide eyes as the boy made his speech. She honestly has no idea how to respond to something like this. Patrick, on the other hand, got out from the dent on the wall and returned to his seat. With his suit all messed and his eyeglasses all broken, he thought to himself 'I don't get paid enough for this sh*t'.

"That probably came out wrong, but who gives a lip-stickity F*CK!" the teenage boy loudly exclaimed as he continues to flex his muscles. "Anyway, I'm Casey 'Dynamo' Daleson, but you can call me by my much awesomer name, K.C. DYNAMO! Because using five letters to spell a two-letter word is blasphemy! And I don't even know what blasphemy means! All I know is that it's got the word 'blast' in it, which is explosively AWESOME! Anyway, nice to meet you all!"

K.C. offered a hand to shake for Xiao Lan. Xiao Lan complied. K.C. then offered a hand to shake for Patrick. Patrick gave K.C. a low-brow stare and then looked at Xiao Lan. Xiao Lan replied by only giving Patrick a small sweat-dropped smile. Patrick then sighed and was about to shake K.C.'s hand when suddenly -

"Arm wrestle!" K.C. yelled as he quickly switches his hand's position from a handshake to an arm-wrestle bend. He then took Patrick's hand and slammed it to the oval table, causing intense pain to Patrick's hand that, for a brief moment, he screamed like a little girl. Then, K.C.'s arm wrestle slam was so overpowering that it practically tilted the table towards the side. Afterwards, like a master of Aikido, K.C. twists Patrick wrists at such a drastic angle that it causes Patrick to react to the pain and flips himself over. Just when he is flipping in midair, K.C. did a roundhouse kick to Patrick's ribs and send him slapstickly flying towards the side-wall of the room, causing another human body-plant dent on the room's walls. K.C. then proceeds to face the camera (which is rolling all this time) and give it a thumbs-up.

"Allllllllllllriiiiiiiiiiiight!" K.C. yelled as he gave the thumbs-up.

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Daleson –" Xiao Lan said before being interrupted.

"Please, call me K.C. Preferably, with Dynamo for an extra dash of AWESOME!" K.C. said loudly with his signature wide grin.

"Ok, um, K.C. Dynamo." Xiao Lan said with a sense of nervousness hiding behind a veil of polite cheerfulness. It is not often that people can make Xiao Lan too nervous to hide insults behind her words. So if anyone can make that happen, beware of his awesomeness…..or his 'WTF'ness (That's a word now, shut up). "But about the interview –"

"The interview?! Listen up here, lady! I'm the one asking the questions here!" K.C. exclaimed as he uses his finger-pointing to add emphasis. "First of all, what's up with the decoration of this room?! Second, when can we get to Pandora cuz I want to get there as fast as possible and do some sh*t already, god damn it?! The vault isn't going to open itself! Third, your hair looks nice! Fourth, when can we get to Pandora cuz I want to get there as fast as possible and do some sh*t already, god damn it?! Answering them in the correct order is not required!"

"Um, first question, we have sort of an ….'accident' with the last representative. Second question, we are already on Pandora; we just need to get through all the interviews and the introductory class in order to start the vault hunt. Fourth question, same as the second question. Third question, not really a question, but thanks." Xiao Lan said quickly, trying to keep up with the interviewee's ridiculousness.

"Response to first answer, whatever 'accident' had happened, the person who did this sure knows my tastes for interior decorating! I mean, look at the exploding scorch marks and the lingering smell of explosiveness!" K.C. said loudly as he take a whiff of the air in the ruined room. "It is AWESOME! Response to second answer, what do you mean I gotta do all that sh*t just to hunt a goddamn vault?! This is bullsh*t! Response to third answer, you are WELCOME! Response to fourth answer, ….this is still bullsh*t!"

"Well, we can't help it. It's corporate policy." Xiao Lan said with a sign of helplessness. There is no way that she could deal with the explosive attitude of this teenager. She is not used to dealing with people under the legal drinking or 'intercoursing' age, so she is at wits end. That was when the other interviewer stepped in to save the day (kinda).

"How about this?" Patrick said as he was getting off of the wall and back onto his seat. He seems more ragtag than ever, with bruises and cuts all over his body and face left from his interviewing friend here. He also does not seem to be in a good mood, suffering from the representative's slapstick abuse. Regardless, he did not seem to lose his composure and his sternly manliness when he says his words. "We finish the interview as soon as possible. The sooner we finish the interview, the sooner you get to hunt that vault."

"Hmm, sounds good!" K.C. said loudly, appealing to the idea of being no-nonsense in going through with this interview. "By the way, what happened to your face?!"

Patrick is so pissed right now that a figurative vein cross popped out of his forehead. Xiao Lan can only give him a sweat-dropped smile.

"Anyway, tell us a little bit about yourself, K.C. Dynamo." Patrick said, holding in his anger.

"Okie dokie!" K.C. yelled as he does an acrobatic flip, jumping from the table he's standing on to the chair he is supposed to sit on. Then he dropped his butt down to the seat and placed his right foot on top of his left lap as he rubbed his chin, thinking of something to say.

"Where should I start?! Oh, how about the fact that I'm AWESOME! I'm the manliest man on the top of a mountain of the manliest men! (That probably came out wrong, too.) From the moment I was born, things around me exploded just to commemorate me and also so that they won't have me blowing them up later on! For, you see, the universe does not start with a whimper, but with a BANG! So, with a BANG, I shall open the vault and conquer all its glory-ness! With a BANG, I shall seek out the thin and thick of Pandora so I could tell them straight into the face 'Yo mama's fat'! With a BANG, I shall crush my competition using the fine art of 'putting a fist up their ass' and 'not giving a F*CK'! Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosiveness! The TRUE essence of being a MAN!"

As he delivers yet another speech, he is doing all kinds of muscle-flexing poses and finger-pointing hand gestures to further emphasize his words. There was a brief moment of silence so that the two interviewers could process the moment, for you can only process so much 'WTF?!' in your brain at a time before it literally explodes. Then, one of the interviewers spoke up.

"You obviously haven't reached puberty, have you?" Patrick said flatly.

"SHUT UP! My pubes are growing into a fine, manly bush! Don't you hate on that!" K.C. said out loud, unaware his opponent is such an expert on psychological warfare.

"Aw, how nice? He's describing his essence of manliness like it's the short, fluffy tail of a bunny." Xiao Lan said with a motherly tone. Great comeback, Xiao Lan!

"GRRRRRR!" K.C. cried out loud as he turns around and got down on all fours in a defeated pose, using his forearm to wipe away his manly tears. He clinched his teeth, hoping not to show anyone he's crying. "A MAN shall not shed tears over spilled milk! But a MAN shall shed tears over his broken confidence and his still undeveloped bush of pubes! GRRRRRRR!"

"Aww, now I kinda pity him." Xiao Lan said with a soft and low voice.

Patrick only responded Xiao Lan with a low-brow stare. Xiao Lan replied with a sweat-dropped smile. Just then, K.C. got back up as if his confidence is quickly restored.

"No worries! One day, it shall be shown and known that K.C. Dynamo will be the manliest man of them all, with his own bush of manly pubes!" K.C. said with hardcore determination and a clenched fist. "But that is irrelevant right now! This is the moment we've all been waiting for, ladies and gents! The hunt for the infamous vault and to seek for all the fame and glory a MAN ca possibly hold! I shall find and open the vault in the most MANLIEST way possible, and no one, NO ONE is going to stop me! Fist me, bro!"

Just as he said that, he offered to fist-bump Patrick. Patrick do not think it was such a good idea for he remembered last time interacting with this hyperactive teenager, he got slammed into a wall.

"Don't worry, I promise I won't slam you into a wall this time! And a MAN never breaks a promise!" K.C. said loudly, still offering him a friendly fist-bump.

Patrick sighed and carefully proceed to return the fist-bump. Just as he was about to do that, K.C. took away his fist hand from Patrick and proceed to uppercut (or if you want to be more dramatic, a Shoryuken) Patrick in the chin with his other hand, causing Patrick to slapstickly fly towards the ceiling and got his head stuck up there. This is starting to turn into a Looney-tunes cartoon.

"Fun fact! The ceiling is not considered a wall! Allllllllriiiiiiiiiight!" K.C. yelled out loud as he then gave the camera a thumbs-up.

[Warning: We do not promote the use of excessive violence during an interview. If you are not as awesome or manly as K.C. Dynamo, you could get seriously injured when performing these actions. Haha, no seriously.]

"Is he going to be okay?" Xiao Lan said with mild concern.

"He'll be fine! Here, hold on to this stick of dynamite in my pants while I do a wicked air guitar solo!" K.C. said loudly.

Just when you think this is a euphemism for…something else, K.C. did had an actual stick of dynamite that he just literally pulled out of his pants and handed to Xiao Lan. Afterwards, K.C. proceeds to do a wicked air guitar solo. Just as this stick of dynamite with its long fuse starts to light up, Xiao Lan panicked and fling the dynamite at the cameraman. The cameraman panicked and threw the dynamite at the refreshments table. The dynamite was set off and the refreshments table was blown up, setting off an explosion of food and drinks splattered all over the room. Poor refreshments table…

"Memowoeoeowoeowoeeee!" K.C. finished his wicked air guitar solo awesomely, totally unaware that he and everyone else in the room had just been splattered by food and drinks from the recently blown-up refreshments table.

"Argh….sigh, shall we get back to the interview, K.C. Dynamo? And please tone down your extremeness this time." Xiao Lan said with a veil of politeness holding behind infuriating anger. For the second day in a row, her fancy clothing has been ruined by the interviewers. She couldn't be more pissed off. She also, however, doesn't want to get fired from the job. Ever since her last outbreak with the Maliwan representative, she has been given a warning by the corporate board not to be too outrageous towards the interviewees, even if it means higher ratings (because, seriously, who doesn't want to see two people have a rage fight in front of an audience? Reality television, am I right?)

"Hold down my extremeness?! B*tch, you don't know me!" K.C. said loudly, clearly outraged. "I'm the very definition of EXTREME! The essence of MANLINESS! The start of the BANG that created the universe! The –"

"Short, fluffy bunny tail." Xiao Lan said cheerfully. Ouch! These words had literally made K.C. drop down on his knees and cry as his confidence is now totally broken.

"GRRRR! Sniff! Lady, you sure how to wreck someone from the inside! I respect that! Ok, just for this once, I'll tone down my extremeness! To the EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly, trying to get back up from his shattered confidence.

Just then, Patrick finally got himself unstuck from the ceiling and drop down to his chair. He has a tired look on his face, as if he has put up with too much extremeness for one time. He then promptly fainted as he is sitting on his chair.

"Pss! Tell this guy here that I'm sorry and I'll treat him with something nice later to make up for it!" K.C. whispered loudly to Xiao Lan as he pointed to Patrick, who was clearly too tired to continue with the interview.

"Ok, well for our next question, what skills and expertise can you offer that stands out from the rest of the corporate vault hunters?" Xiao Lan said with polite cheerfulness.

"You mean my awesomely EXTREME personality isn't enough?!" K.C. answered loudly.

"I don't think that is enough. Sorry." Xiao Lan said.

"What about my awesome pecs, and beautiful biceps, and totally wicked abs?!" K.C. exclaimed as he lift up his shirt to show his abdominal muscles.

"I don't think that qualifies." Xiao Lan said.

"What about the fact that I'm 14?!" K.C. said loudly.

"Wow, you that young?" Xiao Lan said surprisingly.

"Or how about the fact that I can digistruct mortars from of the palm of my hand?!" K.C. said loudly.

"Wait, what?" Xiao Lan asked.

"MORTAR TIME, B*TCHES!" K.C. yelled as he slammed his hand to the ground.

Suddenly, six large Torgue-brand mortars, each the size of K.C. himself, digistructed around K. a hexagonal fashion. As K.C. pointed his finger upward, all of the mortars then pointed upwards towards the roof and proceeds to fire basketball-sized gyrojet projectiles at the roof. The roof is then blasted apart, leaving an open Pandoran sky full of view from the top of the room. Debris and dust is scattered everywhere as everyone else (except Patrick, because he fainted) only panicked until the dust settles. K.C. laughs maniacally as this is happening, just to show you how extremely f*cked up he is.

"….." Xiao Lan remained quiet as she expressed great shock and annoyance towards the extreme teenager.

"So, what do you think?! No mercy! No compromise! No pussy sh*t! Only the finest in BLOWING SH*T THE F*CK UP! TORGUE! Brought to you by K.C. DYNAMO!" K.C. yelled as he flexes his muscles at various positions towards the camera.

"I think that'll be it for today." Xiao Lan said, clearly too mentally exhausted from all this extremeness. "Till we meet again next time on –"

"Wait! Sh*t I nearly forgot about something!" K.C. said loudly as he walk towards the camera until it's only a couple inches away. He then takes a deep breath and yelled. "TINA! Tina, you there?! Tina, I missed you so much! I never forgot about the promise, Tina! I'm back, Tina! We'll be seeing each other real soon, Tina! Are you eating well, Tina?! Are you doing okay, Tina?! Are you handling the explosives like a boss, Tina?! TINA!"

Xiao Lan was curious as to who the extreme teenager was talking about. Clearly, this 'Tina' person is important to him. No matter, it is time to end the interview for good.

"I'm sorry, but we have to turn off the camera now." Xiao Lan said apologetically.

"Wait, I'm not done yet!" K.C. said loudly as he proceeds to take another deep breath, face only inches away from the camera, and say, "DADDY TORGUE! GOD DAD! Did you see me in the interview, expanding the Torgue spirit and all that sh*t?! That was awesome, wasn't it?! How have you been on Pandora?! Are you doing okay?! Do you still bench 300lbs like a boss?! DADDY TORG –"


	9. Vladof Interview

Chapter 9: Vladof Interview

Today is finally the last day in terms of interviewing the representatives. It should have been a simple set of interviews, really. But, like the rest of Pandora, it has turned into a simple case of clusterf*ck lunacy. Inside the room of which the interview takes place, the roof has been blown up, opening to the skies of Pandora. There is still the scorch marks on the leftover walls, but at least the open air had freshen up the air inside the room so that it doesn't have that lingering burnt smell. Nevertheless, the room was a wreck. The interviewers…..well, they've been better.

Inside the interview room (or what's left of it) the interviewers meet yet another corporate vault hunter, this time from the Vladof corporation. As the camera starts rolling and everyone in their respective seats, the representative came into view.

The representative is…. unmistakably Russian (Does that sound racist? If it does, I'm sorry about that.) Standing almost 6 foot tall, this guy has a surprisingly heavy build that you could almost mistaken him for a giant. He wears a dark-brown trench coat, even darker-brown winter pants, and the darkest-of-brown leather boots. The trench coat has the red symbol of Vladof labeled on to its chest area, like it's some kind of promotional thing going on. With that, this giant man has orange-brunette hair in a roughly slicked back hair style. Perhaps the most noticeable thing about this man is his face, with a large scar going down his left eye and that …..mustache. What a thick, bushy mustache. It's a mustache that would have put a certain Italian plumber to shame. A mustache so manly that it alone probably contain more manliness than of the balls of 100 regular bandits squished together. No need to imagine squishing bandit balls, just imagine this….all glory to the mustache! All glory to the MUSTACHE!

Erhem%^&amp;*, sorry, just got sidetracked there.

"What happened here?" the representative said with its manly thick-Russian accent. He was wondering the state at which the interview room has been. Admittedly, the room has seen better days; it looks like it had gone through a warzone, with everything practically blown up.

"We had a little 'incident' with the last representative." Xiao Lan said with polite nervousness.

"To put it simply, a teenager tries to blow up this entire room with six military grade mortars…..while inside the room." Patrick said bluntly.

"Hm, interesting. It is great to be young, no? You get to do all sorts of crazy things. I feel like I may be outmatched already." the representative said, crossing his arms.

The interviewers are surprised by this representative's moderate personality. Maybe this time, they finally get to catch a break and do things normally, like any regular interview should be.

"Um, excuse me, but your name?" Xiao Lan said with polite cheerfulness.

"Ah, yes. My name is Oleg, and I'm here to represent the Vladof corporation in this vault hunt. Seems a bit crazy to me, really. Major corporations from around the galaxy finally settling things the more subtle way." the representative said mildly. "I remember back in my day, we do things a lot more aggressively, with each corporation sending groups of soldiers to slaughter each other until there are puddles of blood and guts everywhere and the score still is not settled. Times certainly have changed."

By the looks of this man, he seems to be on the older and more mature range in terms of all the vault hunters. You can tell there is a sense of tiredness and worn-out coming from his eyes. It's like he have seen war way too many times to be impressed or scared by anything anymore and this vault hunt is only going through the motions.

Then you see his mustache and say to yourself 'Oh god, what a mustache!' (Sorry….)

"Well, the point of this vault hunt is to see who gets to keep this mysterious vault that they find with the least amount of resources used." Patrick said. "No better way than to send one representative from each corporation to settle the score once in for all, right?"

"Yeah? Well then, what's with all the ECHOnet broadcasting and the reality television set-up?" Oleg said mockingly.

"Well, since this is a major event that we are doing here, we figured, why not make this into a reality show and have the viewers root for any one of the corporate teams so that they could, in turn, want to buy our products?" Xiao Lan said cheerfully. "It will act double as an advertisement and we, from both the Pangolin and Anshin corporation, are here to help set all this up. If the ratings are high, this show will certainly make lots of money within itself, which will be shared equally among all corporations. Win-win, as they say."

"Bwah, sounds like more corporate bullsh*t to me." Oleg said. "In the end, only one will come out as the winner. This will happen if all of the others are brutally murdered or survive until the end with their pride stripped away. Given the reputation of Pandora, it will most likely be the former that happens to the losers. Corporations will become unhappy with the results and this entire conflict will start all over again."

The interviewers were baffled at the realization of the core of this event. What if it's true? What if all of this means nothing if corporations cannot settle their differences among each other? If one wins, will any of the losers be unhappy and wanting to do this all over again? This could have serious implications…or maybe this old man just likes to ramble a lot.

"Well, we are not sure about that. Besides, it is not up to us to decide. We are simply the interviewers. Now, tell us a little bit about yourself, Oleg." Patrick said confidently.

"Hm, there is not much to tell. I joined the Vladof corporation as a mercenary. I kill people. People tried to kill me. It's been like that for many years." Oleg said casually. "In fact, I got a feeling that I may be getting too old for this vault hunting business."

"Oh, nonsense. You are never too old to do anything as long as your mind is youthful." Xiao Lan said cheerfully, seeing as how her interviewee has become mildly depressed and pessimistic.

"Is that what you are going to say to yourself when you got wrinkles on your face?" Patrick said bluntly to Xiao Lan.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Xiao Lan snapped as she proceeds to strangle Patrick, Homer-Bart Simpson style. Xiao Lan is totally infuriated right now, for no one implies that she's old and whoever does shall suffer her wrath.

"Ahhahahaha" Oleg mildly laughed. "You guys act like an old couple."

That statement have both interviewers look at Oleg and blush a little in their cheeks, feeling a little bit embarrassed.

"What do you mean? We were just associates." Xiao Lan said embarrassingly.

"Yes, I assure you there is nothing else between us." Patrick said, trying to be as stern as possible.

"Hmph." Oleg said, obviously not convinced, but whatever.

"So, Oleg, you said you joined the Vladof corporation as a mercenary." Patrick said. "When did you join? How did you join?"

"Well, since I was a little kid. I don't remember the age anymore. It was a long time ago." Oleg said, which surprised both the interviewers for they didn't know Oleg enter mercenary life at such a young age. "But I remember it like it was yesterday. Back then, I was still just a little street urchin, begging and scrounging for food and money in a city that is about as poor as I am. It was a rough life. But then the Vladof Revolution came along. Back then, it wasn't a corporation. No, It was just a group of people who couldn't tolerate the conditions of the city anymore. There are the few rich men living among the poor masses. Vladof wanted to change all that."

Both interviewers were dead silent, as they were more intrigued to listen to the stories further.

"Soon, riots started to take place. They took place almost everyday and just about everywhere. Everyone from the young and old, men and women, rich and poor, all gone to the streets and trying to beat each other up. It was pure chaos." Oleg said, reminiscing of those times. "I remember I was just another kid, not knowing what's what in this world and not trusting that the Revolution would truly bring change to the city. So I just try to avoid all this chaos at all costs. But no matter where you go, trouble always finds you. It was that one time when I got caught in a riot, a random guy just holds me down with a knife and slashes me right here in the eye."

Oleg pointed to his scar on his left eye as he continues. "It hurts like hell, but I manage to escape his grasps. As this madman was chasing me, I panicked as to what I was going to do? Then I saw an assault rifle on the ground, among the rioting crowd. In a split second, I grabbed the rifle and start shooting at the guy chasing me. I didn't look where I was pointing. I just kept shooting, and shooting, and shooting. Soon, there were about a dozen people dead around me and the rest ran away out of fear. Of fearing me, with that gun in my hand."

Patrick and Xiao Lan were moved by this intricately deep story told through the words of a true war veteran.

"Sigh, what I felt was that of true terror. I don't know what was going to happen to me, so I just ran away." Oleg said with such deep emotion. "Eventually, the people of the Vladof Resistance caught me and considering of taking me in. They saw what happened at the riot, saw how I used one rapid-fire assault rifle to mow down everyone around me and scared off the riot. The leader of the resistance thinks this takes courage and audacity and that I was the pinnacle of bravery to be able to do that and survive. He admires my action, even though my actions were that out of panic and thoughtlessness. Regardless, he took me in, and together, with the rest of the resistance, we finally topple our enemies and set up a corporation of our own, manufacturing our own guns and run a motto of high-fire rate and revolutionary pride."

Patrick and Xiao Lan took a moment to absorb the story in, for it is such a provoking story of hardship that they could not just ignore. Then one of the interviewers spoke up.

"That was truly an amazing story, Oleg." Patrick said sympathetically.

"It is hard to imagine what you have been through." Xiao Lan said, letting out a small tear in her eyes.

"Ah, yes, it was a difficult life. But do you know what makes it all better?" Oleg asked.

"What would that be?" Patrick said.

Just as the interviewer asked that question, Oleg proceeds to take out something from under his trench coat. Something he claims is so magnificent that he wipes away his hardships and sadness with it. Something like…a bottle of vodka?

Oleg took out a bottle of vodka from his trench coat and proceeds to drink the whole bottle in front of the interviewers. He takes a gulp and then said "Ah, nothing drowns you sorrow like alcohol. The finest vodka manufactured by the Vladof corporation, too. Want some?"

The interviewers just promptly shook their heads as they are staring the Vladof representative with wide-eyes, incredulous at how this man just casually solve years of hardships with alcoholism. What message will that give to the younger audience?

[Warning: We do not condone the use of alcohol to solve life's problems or to drown away your sorrows. If you are under 21, pregnant, operating complex machinery or have any other medical conditions sensitive to alcohol, do not drink. For the rest of you, stop drinking the piss that they claim as beer, whiskey, or other pussy sh*t, and drink a real man's drink, Vladof's vodka….brought to you by Vladof.]

Oleg proceeds to take another gulp from his bottle. "Ahh, this brings me back to all those times I killed a lot of people for that incompetent fool of a CEO running the Vladof corporation. *Hiccup*. Such irony, isn't it? We want a revolution so that the rich won't be rich anymore and the poor won't be poor anymore. Instead, we've only replaced the rich assholes with more rich assholes" It seems either Oleg got drunk pretty quickly or that bottle of vodka is some strong stuff. "Wait, what was I suppose to be saying? Oh yeah, that's right, I'm drunk I can do whatever I want can't I? *Hiccup*"

Oleg then proceeds to take off his clothes, first with his trench coat, then with his pants, then….Oh my God! I…I don't think I should continue.

Patrick and Xiao Lan were baffled by how this situation got out of control as they are quite literally staring a grown man strip naked with wide-eyes and jaws dropped. A couple seconds in, they realize that this is a live interview and they cannot show anything too indecent…well, as if profanity and violence was not indecent enough. They then try to stop the Vladof representative from taking all his clothes off.

"Umm, excuse me, but you are not allowed to do that. I'm going to have to ask you to stop." Patrick said nervously.

"Yeah, if you really want to strip, we have a room next door where you can strip all you want." Xiao Lan said in an excited tone before lowering to a whisper. "I can watch."

"Ms. Chen, now is not the time!" Patrick said with gritted teeth, clearly at wit's end at this whole situation.

"Ha, you want to hear a joke?" Oleg said drunkenly as he continues to strip, despite of the interviewer's efforts to stop him. "I walked into a pastry shop and ordered a bear claw. All I got was friggin piece of pastry. Ahahahaha!"

"Yeah, what's your point?" Patrick said.

"I told them 'This is not a bear claw!'" Oleg said drunkenly. Suddenly he pulls out an SDU that looked like it was meant to be worn like a gauntlet. He puts it on his left arm and suddenly the SDU digistructs into a large mechanical claw attached to Oleg's arm. Oleg then lifts up his mechanical claw and smashes the oval table in front of them into pieces. "'That's a bear claw!' Ahahahaha….."

The interviewers were simply horrified at the sight. Not just that the table is smashed, but how Oleg could have easily smashed it with his bare hands with only a mechanical 'bear claw' strapped to it. It's as if Oleg has the strength of an actual bear.

"Want me to tell you another joke…about bears?" Oleg asked drunkenly. Patrick and Xiao Lan are too nervous to reply. Regardless, Oleg continued his joke anyway.

"I went to a bar and asked for a beer, and they gave me a mug of piss. Ahahahaha." Oleg said, clearly out of it. "I told them 'This is not a beer –'" Just then, with the same SDU claw, Oleg digistructs something much more massive out of the palm of his mechanical claw. You can see all the white-and-blue pixels flash into life as the digistruct object is seen. The large object is almost as big as Oleg himself, and appears to be… alive.

He digistructed a mechanical bear out of thin air using that SDU.

"'That's a BEAR!' Ahahahaha…" Oleg yelled as he laughed out loud. Both Patrick ad Xiao Lan are scared sh*tless at the sight of this electro-mecnahical creature right before its eyes. The creature seems to be made with the toughest of metals and most intricate of electrical wiring. Yet, if you see it from a different angle, it looks like it could be a live bear. It sounds like a bear. It moves like a bear. It acts like a bear.

"RWOOOOOAARRRR" the BEAR let out an animal cry, frightening both interviewers down at their knees. The sound of that cry literally shakes the room (or what's left of the room) as it echoes far and wide into the wasteland. The mechanical animal (mechanimal?) then proceeds to crawl by his owner's side as the drunken owner proceeds to pet the metal beast.

"Don't worry. He's harmless. He won't wreak havoc unless I tell it to." Oleg said, finally using his calm and stable voice. "Meet the BEAR, one of Vladof's magnificent creations. A companion worthy of any rapid-firing, gun-toting revolutionary. It will be at my side when I need it to be and maul down my enemies wherever they come. It even has a metal converter in its stomach to turn any metal that it eats into ammo. Convenient, eh?"

Patrick and Xiao Lan returned back to their seats as their gaze are still maintained at the BEAR.

"Yes, Oleg, it is quite a magnificent sight." Patrick said trying to hold his stern tone.

"Aww, what an adorable little animal." Xiao Lan said with nervous politeness.

Just then, the BEAR growled angrily at her. Xiao Lan let out a short shriek in response.

"Don't ever call my man-killing machine 'adorable'." Oleg said with an angry stare. "This animal right here could bite your head off in a blink of an eye."

"I was trying to be polite oh please don't kill me please….." Xiao Lan gradually whispered as he tries to hide under the now-ruined table.

"Bwahahaha, you interviewers are so easy to scare." Oleg laughed. "You thought I was really drunk? I merely put on a show for you all just to scare you. However, this bottle is real vodka and the story that I told you is true."

"What purpose do you have of frightening us, Oleg?" Patrick said sternly.

As Oleg picks up the clothing that he had stripped from before, he then starts to slowly walk out of the room, with its manly back turn towards the interviewers. At this position, he stopped walking midway and said "A satire."

"To what?" Xiao Lan asked.

"To this vault hunting event and to reality television in general." Oleg manly proclaimed as he sticks his index finger towards the sky and slightly turn his head towards the interviewers.

Oleg then proceeds to exit the room through the door, with the BEAR following, and muttered to himself "I'm getting too old for this….."


	10. Vault Hunting 101

**Disclaimer****: I do not own the Borderlands franchise. There are owned by a box of gears and two letter K's. Nuff said.**

**Author's note****: Yeah, probably should have left the disclaimer early on. Oh well. If I get sued, please visit me in prison or something. I'll probably still be writing fan-fiction. Lolz. **

**Also, I personally think of "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" by Cage The Elephant as the best opening song in the Borderlands franchise thus far (that includes Borderlands The Pre-Sequel). So, in honor of that band for making an awesome song for the first Borderlands opening, I decided to have another song from Cage The Elephant be put into the opening of this fan-fic, known as "In One Ear". I think it kinda fits. What do you think?**

Chapter 10: Vault Hunting 101

[The screen begins to fill with an animation of the familiar drawing of pictures seen in every Borderlands game opening cinematic as Marcus starts to speak.]

Marcus: So, you want to hear yet another story, huh? One of which is about the mysterious vault? I...hey where are you going? Sit down so I can continue to tell this repetitive story of mine. (Clears throat) So anyway, it all began after the opening of the second vault that major corporations all over the galaxy starts to consider investing in exploration on Pandora to further dig up even more vaults that could be hidden. Sure, at the end, what's inside those vaults could just be some giant ugly-ass monsters who couldn't even take down a couple of measly vault hunters if their life depends on it. But if someone like that douchebag Handsome Jack can take over the planet and open a vault, then why couldn't they?

Perhaps once they open more vaults they can truly obtain the great power of which the vaults hold and use that power to not only conquer the planet of Pandora, but also the entire universe. Isn't that what we all dream of? But in order to prevent an all-out war between the major corporations over the massive hostile conquest of Pandora, they decided to settle on an agreement.

They decide that each corporation is allowed to send in one representative to go to Pandora and search for the vaults. Whoever finds the vault gets to keep its power for their respective corporation. So it begins yet again an adventure for our corporate representatives who start out their lives as vault hunters on Pandora. Who would emerge victorious? Only time will tell.

[Music: "In One Ear" by Cape the Elephant]

There is a skag in the middle of a wasteland. That skag was just wandering around, looking for stuff to chew on, when suddenly, it got grabbed by a rakk. The rakk is going to have a nice dinner tonight. But then suddenly, in the middle of the air, that rakk got slammed into a huge airship. Inside that airship contains the 8 corporate vault hunters.

They are all just hanging around the cargo bay as the airship takes off to take them to another location in Pandora.

The female bandit is just sitting on a crate looking bored as she is licking on her buzzwrench. The Dahl commando is calmly brushing his short afro with a comb. The Hyperion b*tch…er, I mean specialist is lying against the wall with her arms crossed. The Jakobs cowboy hunter is sitting on one of the crates playing a banjo (no, seriously) while he chews on a stalk of wheat. The Maliwan princess is just standing there elegantly, with hands hidden underneath the sleeves of her kimono. The Tediore salesman was standing there, twiddling his fingers, and shaking his legs (and possible pissing his pants). The explosive teenager of Torgue was flexing his muscles at various positions, thinking of how to become more EXTREME! The Vladof mercenary is just sitting on another crate drinking something out of his vodka bottle.

Warning! Warning!

Suddenly the airship is attacked by air bandits driving those annoying-ass buzzards, all while hovering in mid-air. They think there is some great loot to be had in this fancy-looking airship. The air bandits landed inside the now-opened cargo bay and were hoping to take the ship down. The corporate vault hunters are not about to let that happen.

The mother of bandits was about to wreak havoc with her buzzwrench, swinging it madly as she rips apart the bandits one by one. Afterwards, she digistructs her three little midgets to help out, as they proceed to dry hump…..er, I mean, take down the numerous bandits. Then she proceeds to take out a Bandit shotgun to shoot down one of the buzzards.

**Mama Jaws as the Mother of Bandits**

The Dahl commando stops combing his hair and proceeds to take out his Dahl assault rifle and fire burst of bullets at the couple of bandits coming into the cargo bay. He then digistructs his mini-tank out in the battle field, which promptly squashes one bandit under its tracks and shoots down a couple others with its minigun.

**Eugene as the commando (best of the best)**

The Hyperion specialist activates her jetpack in the nick of time and flew out of the cargo bay with great speed. Then she uses her left-eye visor to lock-on target to one of buzzards as she peppers it with her Hyperion SMG. The buzzards attempt to return fire, but the jetpack user swiftly dodges them all.

**Selena as the specialist (and Jack-lover)**

As more bandits coming into the cargo bay, one of them got hit with a flying banjo and flew out of the ship. That banjo came from none other than the Jakobs cowboy. He then jumps back from one of the bandits trying to melee him and counters it with a bowie-knife slash, ending the bandit's life. He then jumps behind one of the crates and takes out his trusty Jakobs sniper rifle to snipe at the oncoming wave of bandits.

**Monty as the hunter/survivalist/chef**

Just then, there are bandits coming from the other side of the cargo bay. They probably came from the hatches leading from above. The princess of elements isn't going to let the other vault hinters show her up. As the bandits fired towards her direction, she reacted by dodging the bullets with a graceful spin and retaliated with her Talisman throwing cards. Each card latches on to a bandit, exploding a random element and disintegrating them. The rest are slagged, which prompts the princess to take out her Maliwan incendiary pistol and fire at them, finishing them off.

**Kazuki as the Princess of the Elements**

The Tediore salesman just stands there, panicking as he doesn't know what to do. He tries to hide at a corner, hoping the bandits don't spot them. The bandits did spot him (go figure) and fire their guns at him. The salesman runs for cover from those bullets and, in a state of panic, activates his 'Discount giveaway' SDU, which pops out a dozen of Tediore guns that he flung towards the bandits and exploded. The salesman is safe for now. He then suddenly tripped and landed on his face.

**Brandon as just another sales guy**

The explosive teenager from Torgue is about to make his EXTREME move, as he is currently on top of the airship, with wind blowing at his face and his dangling dreadlocks. While putting on his wide confidence grin, he gives two anarchy hand signs pointing towards the sky and then slam his hands at the floor, digistructing six mortars surrounding him. Those mortars then fires at all of the incoming buzzards and knocking them all down, creating a grand explosive counter-attack. K.C. then gives a thumbs-up at the screen.

**K.C. Dynamo as the explosive 14 year-old**

The rest of the bandits that are still on board are now surrounding the Vladof mercenary, who has been drinking his bottle of vodka peacefully during all this time. Now that he has been interrupted, he thinks it's about time to summon his companion. He raises his mechanical claw gauntlet from his left arm and digistructs the BEAR out of thin air. The BEAR roared a loud cry, causing the bandits to run out of fear as they abandon the airship. The mercenary now hand finished his bottle of vodka to the last drop and proceeds to wipe his mustache with his sleeve.

**Oleg as his mustache**

Everyone looks at the horizon to see the air bandits retreating, knowing that they cannot match the badassery of the corporate vault hunters.

**Borderlands: Brand Allegiance**

"Well, now, that's a relief." Xiao Lan said cheerfully. "I thought we were really going to get our asses handed to those air bandits."

"No kidding." Patrick said sternly. "Lucky for us, we have the corporate vault hunters at our side. Even though they are an eccentric bunch."

"Hey, what'cha mean by that?" Mama Jaws said.

"The Bandit Mama is right! We deserve more EXTREME praise than that! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. Dynamo exclaimed. "For a man shall only deserve his fair share of manly compliments to further emphasize his ever-increasingly MANLINESS!

The corporate vault hunters and the interviewers are all now inside a different section of the airship. The airship is large and composed of several sections. There is the eatery and several rooms for resting, allowing the people to live inside the airship for many nights (sort of like a trailer home, but a lot bigger, and can fly). There's the cargo bay at where the bandit battle took place, which is at the back of the airship. At the front-middle portion of the ship, in front of the cargo bay and under the sleeping rooms and eatery, there is the meeting room, where there is a large rectangular table with chairs around it, each sat by one of the corporate vault hunters. They are now joined by the two interviewers to talk about how to begin the vault hunt.

"Woah, easy there. Everyone knows that if anyone in this room deserves the most credit clearing out all those bandits, it's going to be me." Eugene said smugly.

"What did you just say?!" Mama Jaws replied. "You think that you and that green lushy hunk of crap you call a tank had anything against those bandits? If it wasn't for me and my three little guys taking care of business, ya'll be as dead as a piece of meat going through a skag's intestines by now!"

"I agree with only half of what she said!" K.C. exclaimed. "Everyone knows my mortars are extremely versatile in terms of f*cking up those buzzards! They were totally pissing their pants when they see my EXTREME personality! EXPLOSIVENESS FTW!"

"Quiet down, will you?" Kazuki said with her elegant voice. "Raising your voice to counter an argument is so not elegant. Also, no one cares who provided the most effort in dispatching those bandits."

"The fine-looking lady is right." Monty said. "I'd say we did a pretty good job working as a team. So why not we just all get along?"

"Hmph, you are a fool to think I would even be considering getting along with any of you. We are all in a competition here, so we should all be enemies." Selena said sternly. "Judging each other's strengths and weaknesses should only come natural in a competition. I swear to Handsome Jack that no matter what, I shall emerge victorious once this is over."

Everyone has something to say and eventually it all turned into a chit-chat fest, with everyone talking over each other. People are arguing left and right as to who killed how many, who is the strongest, and who can kick who's butt. The arguing eventually intensifies into straight up shouting.

"Um, guys, please, can't we just talk about this? You know, like calm and civilized people?" Brandon said nervously. He is obviously under a lot of pressure listening to the other corporate vault hunters argue like that as he tries to stay out of their arguments.

"Bwahahaha, civilized?" Oleg laughed, replying to the Tediore representative. He has been sitting at the far end of the table, quietly drinking from his vodka bottle all along until now. "Comrade, do you even know who you are talking to? We are vault hunters. Meant to travel through the savage wasteland, brutally and swiftly killing anyone or anything for so much as looking at us funny. This is no place for civilians here."

"Well, that's a shame, because, you see, um, I'm not actually supposed to be here. I got here due to some corporate misunderstanding and I really am not adjusting really well to the current atmosphere right now." Brandon said nervously.

"Funny, I don't want to be here, either." Oleg remarked. "But as they say, 'You work for a corporation, you die for a corporation.'"

"No one says that." Brandon said. "I'm be damned if I have to give my life to a corporation. I have a wife and three kids to look after."

"Well, tough luck, comrade." Oleg said as he took another swig of vodka from his bottle. "Looks like you'll be staying here and won't be leaving for quite a while."

A few minutes of arguing have passed and it is still not dying down. The interviewers had tried to calm them down the peaceful way and it didn't work. Now they have no choice but to use more…extreme measures.

Patrick and Xiao Lan nodded at each other. Xiao Lan took out a small hand-held blackboard and furiously scratches it, letting out the infamous horrible "chalkboard-scratching noise". Everyone in the meeting room immediately stops talking and cover their ears, hoping to block out that horrible noise.

"Good, now that I've got your attention, let's begin the introductory class." Xiao Lan said cheerfully, putting the blackboard away.

"God-skag-testicles-served-on-a-dish-with-parsley-on-top! Don't ever do that again!" Mama Jaws shouted.

"Hmm, skag testicles. Gives me an idea for a new recipe." Monty said.

Xiao Lan gave Monty a warning look.

"Right, sorry. I'll be quiet now." Monty said apologetically.

"As you all know, you're here today because each of your respective corporation wants you to hunt vaults." Xiao Lan continued. "But, just like any other event run by corporations, there are rules. This one is no exception. Here, in this class, you will all learn the basic rules and will follow them throughout your journey to hunt the vault. We will also cover basic instructions as to how to hunt and claim a vault as their own."

"Pfft, I know how to hunt a vault! All I got to do is to start a nuclear war between two superpowers, traverse through a radioactive wasteland, and collect bobbleheads! Lots and LOTS of bobbleheads!" K.C. said loudly. Everyone else look at him as if they don't know what he's talking about. "Oh, I'm sorry! I was thinking of another game that involves vaults! Great game! You guys should play it!"

"Well, here on the corporate vault hunt, we do things a bit differently." Xiao Lan said. "There are specific steps that you need to take in order to claim the vault as your own. It is to make sure that there would be no ambiguity into which corporation owns a particular vault. Of course, everything would sooner or later be settled by the corporate board, containing all of the leaders of the respective corporations. All of the leaders have now settled themselves at the Godsgreed space station, orbiting Pandora right now, watching our every move."

"Hey, how come I don't get to be up there hanging with the CEO's? I mean, I consider myself to be the CEO of the Bandit corporation." Mama Jaws said.

"That's because you already signed yourself up as a vault hunter." Patrick said. "You cannot do both at the same time and you cannot change your mind now. The corporate board has made that decision final."

"Gosh darn it!" Mama Jaws said.

"Now, here I will start explaining the rules as I show to you on the screen." Xiao Lan said. Suddenly, a holographic screen popped up alongside Xiao Lan as it shows the rules one by one like a Powerpoint presentation.

Rule #1: Each corporation can only send one person as a representative to hunt the vault. Once the official corporate vault hunt has started, any other outside influence from the involved corporations, such as adding personnel or machinery belonging to the corporation to directly or indirectly influence the event, shall be prohibited.

"Wait, so I cannot call for help from my corporation if I'm in trouble." Brandon said nervously.

"Apparently not. Sorry, little brother." Xiao Lan said.

"That is so unfair…." Brandon sobbed.

"Heh, fine by me. Anyone that Dahl sends in my way will only slow me down." Eugeue said smugly.

"Right, on to the next rule." Patrick said.

Rule #2: Once the vault location is discovered, the vault shall be claimed as belonging the individual corporation once the representative be at that location, regardless whether the vault is opened or not. The only proof of claim shall be each of the representative's own special ECHO device, which transmits all moments the representative sees or hears to the corporate board at all times. Should two or more representatives come upon the vault at the same time, the claim would be settled through an all-out battle, in which elimination is either through surrender or death. The last one standing will be allowed stake the claim on the vault. The representative him or herself does not own the vault, that ownership belongs to their respective corporation. The representative will instead will receive prize money of which the amount is based upon the value of the discovered vault.

"As the rule have stated, each of you will be given a special ECHO device that is connected to the corporate board." Patrick said as he handed out the special ECHO device, one to each vault hunter. "Once the ECHO device is on, they will see what you see, hear what you hear, and know your location. Advanced optical-triangulation technology also allows it to record the wearer in third-person view at multiple angles. This is to ensure full coverage of this vault hunting event. Once the data has been recorded, it will be compiled and edited by our cameraman, which will then be broadcasted into the show."

"A new toy! Cool!" Mama Jaws said excitedly.

"I would prefer not to be watched almost every minute of the day, but I suppose this is a necessary caution." Kazuki said.

"Huh, it seems weird that they only want us to find the vault and not open it." Monty said.

"Maybe the corporations have a way of opening it." Brandon said, which got some of the other vault hunter thinking. "In any case, it isn't for us vault hunters to question. What I really want to know is, as long as I don't approach the vault while some other vault hunter approaches it, I don't have to fight for the death? And if I do get into a fight, I could just surrender and not have to die?"

"Yes and yes, my little brother." Xiao Lan replied cheerfully.

"Oh, thank God. Now I just need to find some place to hide until this is all over." Brandon said with a sigh of relief.

"Salesman, that is pussy sh*t!" K.C. said loudly, as he sticks out his index finger and wave it left and right, signifying 'no'. "If it were me, I'll find the vault and proceed to blow it the F*CK open! No need to wait for my slow-ass corporation to do it!"

"I highly doubt it will be that simple." Kazuki said.

"Regardless, I will be the one to find the vault first. Anyone who tries to fight me to the death might as well forget about it." Eugene said smugly.

"Not if I can get there first." Selena said. "With Handsome Jack as my witness, I shall claim the vault to Hyperion!"

"Girl, seriously, you need to get laid." Eugene replied. "Preferably by someone other than a guy who likes to cover his face with another face."

"Commando, you want to start something?" Selena said intimidatingly.

"I prefer to call it a friendly suggestion. But if that's the way you want to put it, let's start something." Eugene said. Selena and Eugene are now at opposite sides of the rectangular desk, intensely staring at each other eye to eye. Before they really got into a fight, one of the interviewers broke them off.

"Woah there. Let us finish explaining the rules. Then you guys can go back to your argument." Xiao Lan said. "Now, on to the next rule."

Rule #3: Each representative can only use the weapons, special gear, shields, and grenade mods manufactured or owned by their respective corporations. Special gear, such as companion robots, shall be allowed if they are capable of being stored in a Galactic Standard Class A-001 SDU or of equivalent space or less, unless special permissions allow otherwise. All SDUs have to be installed with a digistruct override system that will cause it to shut down for 24 hours if a vault hunter or its respective corporation breaks any of the rules. Shutdown time will stack with no limit if the vault hunter continues to break the rules. Attempts to break the rules will be warned beforehand.

"Huh, only weapons and gear manufactured by their respective company. Makes sense, since we're here to proof the worth of our weapons." Monty said, chewing on a stalk of wheat and looking cool doing it.

"Says the company who doesn't make grenades, shields, or elemental weapons." Eugene said, combing his hair and looking cool doing it. "In fact, I don't even think you have any special gear or gizmo to go along with you."

"Heh, fine by me. Guns and bullets are all I need." Monty said.

"Wait, we couldn't use our weapons and gear if we broke one of them fancy-pancy corporate rules. That's skagsh*t!" Mama Jaws shouted.

"As long as we'll be properly warned and the rules are clear, I don't see where the problem is." Kazuki said elegantly while adjusting her glasses.

"Screw that! If I don't have my weapons and gear, I'll simply punch my enemies until they explode!" K.C. said, hitting the palm of his hand with his fist. "Or I can show them my manly pubes and make their eyes explode! Whichever works!"

"Short, fluffy, bunny tail." Xiao Lan cheerfully said.

"GRRRRR! You have to go on and say it!" K.C. said as he drops down in a defeated pose and wiping away his manly tears with his forearm.

"Now, onto the next rule." Patrick said.

Rule #4: Under no circumstances were any representative attempt to purposely kill another representative before the discovery and the arrival to the vault. In fact, the representatives may even be allowed to assist each other until the arrival at the vault's location, although that is optional.

"Well, that is quite interesting." Kazuki said, adjusting her glasses.

"Wait, you telling me we can't kill each other until the arrival of the vault? What kind of skag-licking rule is that?!" Mama Jaws said angrily.

"Well, we need to extend the show into a full season, at least." Xiao Lan said. "Imagine how short the show would be if everyone just kill each other on day one, left with only one vault hunter to go at it alone. That would be boring. Instead, we'll have each of the vault hunter go at their own way to find the vault, maybe even help each other find it, and the vault would be found quicker. Then the drama would condense at the point where the vault hunters who have been working with each other have to finally kill each other just to claim the vault's power. The ratings would be off the charts!"

All of the vault hunters stare at Xiao Lan, then look at each other, not knowing how to react now that they realize how much restraint is put on this vault hunt just to make the 'show' of it more appealing. Even though they are the ones doing the actual vault-hunting work, they couldn't help but feel like they are just pawns of a chess-game played by some corporate assholes.

"Hmph, typical corporate bullsh*t." Oleg said as he took another gulp from his vodka bottle. "I guess that means we won't be confronting each other directly in a real battle any time soon."

"That's not necessarily correct." Selena remarked. "If one is skillful enough, one could dispatch the other seven vault hunters all at once, and only suffer the penalties of being weaponless for precisely one week. Afterwards, the vault will be theirs for the taking, with no competition whatsoever."

The other vault hunters listened to the Hyperion representative and thought about it for a moment. Suddenly, it became apparent that the situation has become much more dangerous, for who knows who among the group could be skillful and ruthless enough to take out all of the rest of the vault hunters at once.

"That might not necessarily be easy. If fact, it could contain some major risks." Kazuki replied. "If one does not dispatch the other vault hunters all at once, they will be left defenseless when the other vault hunters retaliate in self-defense. Then the ones who killed that vault hunter would be weaponless and be easy targets for the rest of the vault hunters. This process will continue until the last vault hunter with weapons survive. So, in this game of killing vault hunters, you win by either being the first one to act or the last one to act."

"Man, this is getting complicated! All I know is, anyone who tries to kill me will get their ass blown to bits! Blown up to the EXTREME!" K.C. shouted.

"Short stuff's right. I probably won't be making the first move, but I'll rip apart anyone who tries to take me on! My buzzwrench is hungry for meat!" Mama Jaws exclaimed.

"Yeah!...Wait, who are you calling short stuff?!" K.C. said loudly.

"Alright, then. On to the next and final rule." Xiao Lan said cheerfully.

Rule #5: Each corporate vault hunt session ends when one vault is discovered and claimed. The mark of the end will be notified by all representatives through their ECHO device. Any ambiguity regarding the rules shall be addressed through the corporate board by majority vote.

"Well, glad to know that if there is any ambiguity or conflict, the people from up top will clear it up. I fell much better already." Oleg said sarcastically as he took one more swig from his vodka bottle. The bottle is now basically empty and he barely felt drunk.

"Well, this is kind of bullsh*t! I don't want to be tied down by all of the frickin' corporate politics! Vault hunting is complicated enough already!" K.C. remarked loudly.

"You got that right. I guess no matter what you do, there will always be someone doing the backseat driving. And here I thought those corporate b*tches would let us do all this without restraints." Eugene remarked.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure the corporate board wouldn't interfere too much." Xiao Lan said. "They would only do so if it is really important."

"If you say so." Eugene shrugged.

"Now, then. Now that the rules have been explained, it's time for you all to take out all your weapons and gear SDU so that the digistruct override system could be installed." Patrick said sternly.

"Man, what a hassle. I'm letting them touch my Midge-unit again." Mama Jaws said annoyingly as she is about to hand them her SDUs, along with the others. "I'll much rather have them touch my private parts."

"Ooh, I'll be willing to comply to your requests if you let me." Xiao Lan said in a low and seductive tone.

"Get a room, you two." Patrick said with a low-brow stare.

"Ooh, I was planning on it." Xiao Lan said seductively.

"Sigh, I'm being surrounded by imbeciles." Kazuki said.

**Author's note****:** **Yeah, I did a Fallout reference (them bobbleheads…). They both have vaults in them so go figure. Anyway, any review that you guys make would be greatly appreciated.**


	11. Bunking with Badasses

Chapter 11: Bunking with Badasses

"Here is the eatery." Xiao Lan said cheerfully. Both the interviewers, now act as hosts and broadcasters to the event, are now showing the corporate vault hunters around the airship. The airship by itself is pretty decent in terms of looks, with everything nice and clean. However, it also doesn't look that impressive as it is quite small for holding 8 vault hunters and 2 broadcasters (and also one cameraman, but who gives a crap about him). The eatery by itself looks clean with a light blue sheen, and looks like it contains a small kitchen within itself. "It does not look like much, but the 'Blue Moby' is made for function, not fashion, which is quite a shame really. I would have made it look a lot prettier, given the choice."

"What's a 'Blue Moby'?!" K.C. asked loudly.

"It is the name of the airship." Xiao Lan replied.

"That's a frickin' stupid name!" K.C. yelled. "If it were up to me, I'll name it the 'Explogasm'! Perfect for people who loves sex and explosions! PREFEREABLY TOGETHER!"

"If I'm not mistaken, 'Moby' may be referring to 'Moby Dick', a novel written by Herman Melville about a captain sailor seeking revenge from a whale for severing his leg." Kazuki stated elegantly. "As for the 'blue', even though it is not the airship's most dominant color, it may be referring to the blue whale, which this airship is shaped like. Perhaps that is how the name came to be."

Listening to Kazuki stating such knowledgeable information made most of the group feel kind of stupid. Maybe they should look into reading this "Moby Dick" stuff that sounds almost foreign to them.

"I don't really care much about any of that crap." Mama Jaws said. "I just want to catch some shuteye. Where's our rooms?"

"Right along the hallway." Patrick said as he guided the vault hunter towards the hallway that leads to six rooms, stacked at a 2x3 fashion. "In case you are wondering, the bathroom and shower are all the way at the end of the hallway. There is only one of each, so all of you need to share."

"Pfft, what is this? Summer camp?" Mama Jaws said as she moves towards the end of the hallway to take a look at the bathroom. "Holy skagsuck, this toilet room is frickin cramped and small! I've seen outboxes on Pandora with more room than this! I mean I take my sh*t in large dumps. I'm not sure your toilet can go through that torture without clogging. Just sayin'."

"Don't worry. If that happens, we'll have the cameraman take care of it." Patrick replied flatly.

"I can hear you, you know." the cameraman said over at the loudspeaker that is installed all over the airship. He is currently inside the cockpit, working on something. No, he is not piloting the airship. That'll be stupid, the airship's on auto-pilot. He is, however able to access the loudspeakers from there.

"NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION!" Mama Jaws shouted.

"Aww….." the cameraman said softly.

"Heh, I guess you can only take what you can get. I've been through worse while training under Dahl, so I personally don't mind." Eugene said smugly with hands relaxed on the back of his head

"Neither do I. Within this journey of vault-hunting, cramped bathrooms would be the least of our worries." Selena said sternly with her arms crossed.

"Right. Okay now that everyone is settled in, let's us tell you the room arrangements. Ms. Chen and I will each take a room to ourselves." Patrick said. "The rest of you have to bunk together, 2 people per room."

"Wait, what!" Mama Jaws exclaimed. "Why do both of you get to hog a room all to yourself while the rest of us have to share?!"

"Because, as broadcasters to this event, we cannot interact with the vault hunters too much, hence we cannot bunk with any of you." Xiao Lan reasoned cheerfully. "Also, since Mr. Anderson and I are of different genders, we cannot bunk with each other."

"Pfft, don't worry about him. He seems like a pretty decent guy." Mama Jaws remarked. "I'm sure he won't sneak up to your bed in the middle of the night and do unspeakable things to ya. Now for the rest of the crew, I'm not so sure. Females included."

Just then, most of everyone have their faces blushed red, with Patrick blushing the reddest.

"Girl, I take offense to that. Whatever I do to women is guilt-free and consensual. That's my style." Eugene said smugly.

"*Erhem#$%^*. Anyway, we've got to figure out at least which two of the three female vault hunters get to bunk with each other? Whoever's left will have to bunk with one of the males, since we don't have enough rooms." Patrick said, trying to recover from his blushing.

"Eh, I personally don't mind bunking with one of the guys." Mama Jaws said. "I slept with tons of guys before in the same room. Most of them in the same bed." This statement made everyone look at her as if saying 'WTF?!'. "Yeah, it's exactly what you think."

"Well, you are just crazy and EXTREME enough to be my bunkmate!" K.C. said loudly. "We are going to have EXPLOSIVE chemistry together! No, not that kind! Sorry, but I'm already taken!"

"Alright! You, short stuff, would really get along with my midgets. High five!" Mama Jaws said excitedly, offering K.C. a high five.

"Hell yeah!" K.C. said loudly, returning Mama Jaws's high five. "Hey, who are you calling short stuff?!"

"I guess I have no choice but to share a room with the Hyperion specialist. Hope we get along." Kazuki said as she made a polite bow to Selena.

"Hmph, I guess I'll tolerate bunking with you. However, that does not make us friends. We are all contestants in a competition. Remember that." Selena said sternly, giving Kazuki a glare. Kazuki can already feel there is going to be tension between them.

"I personally don't mind who I bunk with. But if I had to choose, I'll bunk with that Vladof guy right there." Eugene said as he points to Oleg. "There is just something about you that makes me think we're going to get along just fine."

"Hmph, whatever you say." Oleg shrugged. "I personally don't care. Now if you excuse me. I'm going to have another bottle of vodka and drink myself to sleep." Oleg then proceeds to walk into a room and closes the door.

"Man, what kind of person drinks themselves to sleep? That's just depressing." Eugene said as he walks into the same room. "Now don't get me wrong, I like myself a good drink now and again, but I'm no alcoholic. Know what I'm saying?"

"Well, guess that just leaves with you and me, partner." Monty said to Brandon as he put one arm on Brandon's shoulders as a friendly gesture. "Hope we get along just fine."

"Not likely. Unless you take a shower once in a while. Or use deodorant." Brandon said as he lightly brushes Monty's hand away from his shoulder.

"Partner, what you mean by that?" Monty said as if he is offended.

"I mean have you smelled yourself recently. You smell like rotten dead fish mixed with blue cheese." Brandon said with a disgusted face.

"Hmm, fish and blue cheese, haven't tried that before." Monty said, rubbing his chin. Brandon gave him a serious look. "Alright, alright. I'll get it. I'll go take a shower right now if it'll make you happy."

"Okay, now that everyone has settled in, please, make yourselves at home. We will arrive at Sanctuary in a couple of days." Xiao Lan said cheerfully to everybody.

"Sigh, I miss home already." Brandon said depressingly.

~~~Later on~~~

A couple of hours have passed and the corporate vault hunters have settled down in the airship quite nicely. It is now at the evening and the Pandoran sun is setting, giving off a bright orange glow. Everything has been peaceful so far, so much so that it's getting kind of boring.

The vault hunters have found different ways to entertain themselves. The Hyperion specialist is sitting upright at her bed and reading up on Pandora's news through her futuristic version of an iPad, mostly about Pandora's fauna, locations, bandits, weapons and technology, etc. (Hey, you never know, it could be useful someday.) Oleg is at his room sleeping and snoring like a pig. Eugene is working out at the cargo bay, doing push-ups, squats, crunches, and all that. Mama Jaws and K.C. Dynamo were at the eatery chatting while Monty was also there cooking something delicious. Brandon was at his room, video-chatting with his family back home and telling them not to worry and all that mushy stuff. Kazuki was...drawing something.

It wasn't that complicated of a drawing set. Basically just a sketchbook with some color pencils. Kazuki mentally chuckled to herself, never thought that this vault hunting expedition would allow her free time to do things like this. She is now sitting by the window inside her room, drawing various objects as the sunset light shines warmly on her face. It was a peaceful feeling. Kazuki has always found peace in committing herself to the arts, especially drawing, since her mother was a painter. Doing this has become a welcomed hobby and it made Kazuki feel like a gleeful young little girl again. Sadly, after her mother died and she was adopted to the Akiyama family, she had to commit to other things such as school work and lessons on etiquette given by her new mother. Slowly, she is losing her touch and her moments of gleeful joy along with it. But now, with her on this airship and lots of free time, she gets to enjoy her hobby again. It is ironic how a dangerous vault hunting trip could provide her with such pleasures.

It is getting late and Kazuki was getting a bit hungry and thirsty.

"Selena, I'm going to get something to eat from the eatery. Want me to get you anything?" Kazuki kindly said to Selena, who was at the top bunk.

"If I want something, I'll get it myself. No need to trouble yourself." Selena said coldly.

It seems that even living in the same room, there is hostility in the air. Seems like it's just typical of a vault hunting expedition, Kazuki thought. Kazuki calmly got out of the room and walked to the eatery, where she sees Mama Jaws and K.C. Dynamo chatting with each other while Monty is over at the small kitchen cooking something that admittedly smells kind of good.

"So I was like, 'Ha, you ate an outrunner with a fork? I ate a bandit truck...with a spoon! Yeah! The whole truck! Beat that, Crazy Earl!" Mama Jaws said to K.C. They seem to be having an interesting conversation.

"Bwahahahaha! Ah, man you must be sh*tting metal afterwards! How does that feel?!" K.C. said loudly as he is laughing so hard his sides are hurting.

"Hurts like a skag chewing on your intestines from the inside out. But I've felt worse. Also, it was worth it to see the look on his face!" Mama Jaw said excitedly.

"Lucky you, then! I once tried to eat a huge chunk of C-4, but my dad stopped me and told me it was an idiotic idea! He doesn't let me have any fun!" K.C. said loudly.

"Your dad sounds like a dick." Mama Jaws replied.

"Maybe it's because he doesn't have one!" K.C. said loudly.

"Ahahahahaha!" Mama Jaws and K.C. both laughed.

Kazuki eavesdropped on their conversation and can't help but drop a sweat at their idiocy. Monty, while wearing an apron and cowboy hat off, seems to be tasting some sort of soup that he's been working on. He then turns around to see Kazuki at the food generator compartment inside the eatery.

"Oh hey there, princess. Didn't see you there?" Monty politely said. "Want to try my special homemade soup?"

"Please don't call me princess. Also, I do not wish to taste your soup." Kazuki said elegantly as she pushes some digital buttons on the food generator, not even looking at the cowboy chef eye to eye.

"Aw, c'mon. Are you worried that I'm going to poison you?" Monty said casually, trying to be friendly. "I swear if I was going to kill someone, a gun and a bullet would be a lot quicker and more effective."

"It's not just that." Kazuki said as she grabbed the food that were digistructed from the food generator. "I simply prefer food being made by people with much better hygiene than that of a begrimed rodent."

"Ouch, that hurt. But I've already showered and wash my hands before handling the ingredients, swear to God. I couldn't be more clean." Monty said sincerely as he tries to sniff himself. "I couldn't even smell the odor on me anymore."

"True that." Mama Jaws added. "Besides, the food from that hunk of crap tastes like sundried asshole."

"Have you really tasted sundried asshole?!" K.C. shouted curiously.

"You bet I have. It tasted so bad that I'm willing to take my chances with cowboy chef here's cooking." Mama Jaws said. "Even if it does contain large lethal doses of poison."

"Hey…." Monty irritatingly said. He really doesn't like other people insulting his cooking.

"Well, I'm willing to take my chances on the food I got right here. Now, if you excuse me. I need to be in my room." Kazuki said as she proceeds to exit the eatery and head back to her room.

"Pfft, what's her problem?" Mama Jaws said.

"Maybe it's PMS!" K.C. shouted, causing both Mama Jaws and Monty to look at him. "Wait! Actually, I don't know what PMS stands for! What does it stand for?!"

"Nah, that's not it." Monty sighed. "She's just tense cuz we're all supposed to be fighting each other for the vault. We aren't supposed to be friends. Cuz if we do, when it comes to the vault being found, things will get awkward when it comes to deciding who get to claim it."

"In that case, why are you being friendly to her?!" K.C. asked loudly.

"Because I'm a naturally friendly guy." Monty said. "And also, I felt that there is just something wrong with competing with each other at such extreme measures just to obtain some mysterious vault's power. The point of this all was to not have a lot of people killed when finding this vault. Now we are here forcing to kill each other in order to find the vault. Oh, the irony."

"Well, you've joined this vault hunt knowing this already, what did you expect?" Mama Jaws replied.

"It's just that, why can't we just work together to find the vault and have whatever's in it be shared equally among the corporations?" Monty said.

"Then you just don't get it, do you?" Eugene said as he finished his workout and walked into the eatery. Everyone else was looking at the sweaty Dahl commando as he enters the conversation. "Corporations are about making money. But what they are also about is competition. It is the act of competing that eliminates the weak and allows the strong to stay alive. Competition is what makes the strong strong and the weak gone. Without competition, you might as well not have a corporation at all. That's why I make it my top priority to find the vault first and win this competition. Don't expect anyone else to act any different."

"I'm not saying don't be competitive." Monty said. "I'm just saying, every now and again, we could be somewhat nice to each other, that's all. Look, we are going to be staying in this airship together for a couple of days. After we get to Sanctuary, we might still encounter each other as we cross paths to find the vault. I'll say it is better to have this be a friendly competition where no one has to die. Get what I'm saying, partner."

"In that case, you are too optimistic towards human nature, comrade." Oleg said as he finishes his nap and also enters the eatery, joining the conversation. "Though I agree with you that this entire vault hunt is full of sh*t, whether the other vault hunters wanted to act nice is not up to you."

"Yeah, but whether I want to be nice to the other vault hunters is up to me." Monty said with determination.

"Oh yeah, then what would happen once we are all finally at the vault and were forced to kill each other?" Oleg asked.

"Then I'll simply surrender." Monty said casually.

"Hmph, the other vault hunters might not give you that chance." Oleg said with a glare.

Everyone at the eatery paused for a couple of seconds to think of the life-and-death consequences that has befallen to all of the vault hunters. Then someone spoke up.

"Man this is really getting deeply philosophical and sh*t!" K.C. exclaimed. "I don't give a crap about any of that! I'll continue to make friends with whoever I can! If I happen to encounter the vault at the same time as one of my friends, I'll still fight to the best of my EXTREME abilities! If I die, so be it! That's the way a MAN should die! If they go out, they go out with a BANG!"

"Short stuff's right!" Mama Jaws added. "Hell, we know we'll kill each other sooner or later. But for now, I kinda like hanging around with him, so I'll continue hanging out with him and maybe anyone else I like on this crummy airship. Whatever happens later, I'll worry about it later."

"GRRRR! For the last time, DON'T CALL ME SHORT STUFF!" K.C. raged. "I'm at least a foot taller than one of your midgets!"

"Yeah, but not if two of them are piggy-backing each other! HA!" Mama Jaws teased.

"Damn it! You want to start something, bandit mama!" K.C. yelled.

"Bring it!" Mama Jaws yelled back.

Just as K.C. Dynamo lunges to Mama Jaws, she playfully puts him into a headlock and drills her knuckles into his skull. Man, that's gonna hurt.

"Owowow, stop it!" K.C. yelled.

"Make me! Admit that you are short!" Mama Jaws demanded.

"NEVER!" K.C. yelled.

"Well, I'm beat. An intense workout sure does that to ya. Gonna get myself something to drink." Eugene said.

"Hey, why don't you try out a bowl of my homemade soup. I promise you'll like it." Monty said politely.

"Hmm, sure smells good. But how do I know that it's not poisoned or anything?" Eugene said as he takes a whiff of the air, which is now filled with the beautiful aroma of Monty's homemade soup.

"Geez, why does everyone think that? It's not poisoned, I promise you." Monty said innocently.

"Well, I don't really care if it poisoned. It smells good enough for me to want a taste." Mama Jaws said, freeing K.C. from the headlock.

"I agree! I'll have one, too! Whatever poison enters my body, I'll just get rid of them! WITH EXPLOSIONS!" K.C. said loudly with two fists pointing up in the air.

"I'm not sure that's how it works." Eugene replied with a sweat-drop. "Fine, I'll have a taste."

"Me, too." Oleg said as he leans against the wall and crossing his arms. "I'm tired of drinking nothing but vodka for the last couple of days anyway."

"Well, thank you, fellas. Please, try it and tell me what you think." Monty said delightfully as he prepares four bowls of soup, one for each of the willing vault hunters. They all took a sip and what they taste surprises them.

"It's…..really good." Eugene said truthfully.

"Woowee! This soup is awesome!" Mama Jaws added.

"EXCELLENT! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. yelled.

"Hmm, not bad. What did you put in it?" Oleg said as he continues to sip the soup.

"Oh nothing much. Just some firemelon and necrophage, with a touch of stactus root." Monty said casually.

Immediately after hearing those words, Eugene and K.C. spit out their soup out of shock. Mama Jaws and Oleg casually continue to drink the soup regardless.

"Let me get this straight." Eugene said as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "This soup literally contains plants that are known to burst out fire and acid? And electricity?!"

"Man! It's like I'm literally drinking a rainbow of the elements! That is EXTREME!" K.C. said as he now literally pours his entire bowl of soup into his mouth.

"Don't worry. The soup is not toxic." Monty said casually. "Those ingredients can be cooked in a lot of different ways if you know how to prepare them right."

"Hehehe, you are an interesting guy." Eugene said as he resume to finishing his bowl of soup. "I like you, already."

"Attention! Attention, everyone!" the loudspeaker suddenly shouted out with a voice. "This is Patrick, here. The cameraman has fixed up something that you all need to see. Would every vault hunter please come to the cockpit of the ship. I repeat, would every vault hunter please come to the cockpit of the ship."

"Is anyone interested in knowing what my name actually is?" the cameraman said over at the loudspeaker.

"*Giggle* Oh, silly cameraman, pretending that people care about him." Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness over at the loudspeaker.

"*Sigh*, why do I even bother?" the cameraman said over at the loudspeaker. "Anyway, come by at the cockpit, you guys. I've built something that I want you all to see."

"Well, let's go then." Eugene said smugly.

"Right, off to the cockpit! To the EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly as he pump a fist up in the air.


	12. A New Crewmate

**Author's Note****: If you guys think that the last chapter feels a bit slow, with not much action or humor going on, that's because I did it on purpose. I want there to be character development, to see how the characters act in their downtime and how they interact with each other. There are going to be some other moments where I mix a bit of slice-of-life into some badass vault-hunting action, but only occasionally. Tell me that you think by writing a review. Thanks for reading!**

Chapter 12: A New Crewmate

All of the eight vault hunters headed to the cockpit as soon as they heard the announcement. The cockpit of the airship is surprisingly spacious, able to fit everyone inside without feeling cramped. At the front were the digital panels that control the airship's autopilot. The windows at the front of the cockpit is large enough that you can see the sky straight up at 90 degrees and from left to right at 180 degree angle, sort of like half a hemisphere. But while the Pandoran sunset at the window is a nice view, that is most likely not the main attraction in the room.

"So what is so damn important that you need to show us all?" Mama Jaws said to the cameraman, who is present in the cockpit next to Patrick and Xiao Lan.

"Right. Remember the specially made ECHO devices that we gave you. The ones containing the advanced optical-triangulation system that allows video-recording at multiple angles." the cameraman said.

"Yeah, we remembered. You better not use it to find out the color of my panties. Cuz I don't wear'em." Mama Jaws said, without a hint of embarrassment. Everyone else looked at Mama Jaws like she's crazy, which is not far from the truth.

"Wouldn't even think of it." the cameraman said with a sweat-drop. "The point is, these things only record within a limited range in terms of viewing a certain distance away from the person that the device is focusing on. Meaning that we would only get mediocre shots of person-to-person view."

"Yeah, what's your point?" Mama Jaws said.

"The point is, to truly awe the audience into watching the show, we need something more." the cameraman said passionately. "Something grand and open-spaced. Something like a birds-eye view of everyone doing the action and all that. I want to capture those intricate shots at angles that are not possible with the ECHO devices or with my camera alone. And I know just the machine that'll do it."

"We insist that it is not necessary, but he wanted to do it anyway. He even put his own time and money to get this thing into shape." Patrick said sternly.

"Ladies and gentleman," the cameraman said as he poses dramatically. "Meet the wonderful second camera person that is going to make art out of video-recording. The awesome and spectacular C4M-TP, CAMTRAP!

**Camtrap, Nice to rec you!**

This 'Camtrap' is shown to look almost like a Claptrap. The only difference is that at places where it's supposed to be yellow, it shows hot-pink with white flower patterns instead. It also has several miniature devices attached to its back and an eye that seems to be made like that of a camera-eye used for recording. Overall, it looks like a modified version of a Claptrap.

"Hello, everyone. Nice to be of your acquaintance." Camtrap said politely with a feminine robotic voice.

"HOLY SH*T!" K.C. Dynamo yelled. Some of the members seem unimpressed with the new member/equipment while others look at it with great interest.

"I know, right! It's got a miniature jetpack on its back that allows it to hover a good 20-30 feet in the air." the cameraman excitedly said as he walks around his creation. "There's even a stealth-suit system that allows it to blend in to the environment, making it practically invisible, so as to not interrupt you guys from doing the cool action scenes. How cool is that?!"

"No! That's not it! I mean HOLY SH*T, why is it pink?! With flowers?!" K.C. yelled.

"Like the design?" Xiao Lan said more cheerful than usual. "I helped with the colorful design. I told the cameraman that he could do this project of his as long as I get to do the coloring of it. It's marvelous, isn't it?"

"OH HELL NO!" K.C. exclaimed. "Pink is probably the worst color to be put on anything EVER! Also, FLOWERS?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! If it were up to me, I'll paint it bright orange, with icons of EXPLOSIONS on it! Pink is so not EXTREME!"

This statement has made Xiao Lan kind of pissed off and Camtrap a little bit sad, knowing that it is receiving criticism right off the bat from its first day of being born...uh, made.

"How did you even manage this?" Selena said intriguingly as she knelt down to look closer at the robot. "I thought Hyperion destroyed all Claptrap units years ago."

"Well, they have. But I've manage to gather myself some scraps and build myself an AI core. It's no big deal. I've done these before during my college years as a hobby plenty of times." the cameraman said casually. "I installed it into a disabled Claptrap unit that I found on Pandora, add a couple of gadgets, and voila, a new Claptrap."

The cameraman couldn't be more wrong when saying it's no big deal. AI cores are not that hard to make, but the higher quality ones are usually made by top scientists and engineers using state-of-the-art machinery. So you can probably suspect that an AI core made from a hobbyist to be...low-grade.

"This thing isn't going to turn evil and murder us all, right?" Eugene said curiously. "Cuz I'll gladly use it as target practice."

"Master, you got to trust me! I would never do something like that." Camtrap desperately said with her cute robotic voice.

"Aww, she's calling me master." the cameraman said sincerely as he kneels down to pat Camtrap on the head. He then angrily states as he points a finger at Eugene. "And you! Don't even think of harming my sweet lovable Camtrap."

"Alright! Calm down. I was just kidding." Eugene said casually, putting hands in front of him defensively.

"Eh, I don't trust your workmanship. Let's see the jetpack at work first." Mama Jaws doubted.

"Well, if you must." the cameraman replied. "Camtrap, show them what you got!"

"Yes, master!" Camtrap said with determination.

The cameraman ordered Camtrap to test out its jetpack propulsion systems. Camtrap complied, at first starts to hover stably a couple of feet in the air. Then, like a bee that's been drinking too much, the jetpack has gone haywire, causing Camtrap to fly all around the massive cockpit and ramming into the walls. Some of the people in the cockpit are panicking and covering their head with their hands, trying not to get rammed. After the demonstration was over, Camtrap landed on the floor somewhere nearby.

"Owwww, uhhhhh..." Camtrap said as it is lying on the floor, slightly damaged and with a little bit of smoke coming out of it.

"Um, sorry about that." the cameraman said as he walked to Camtrap to pick it up.

"Man! That almost gave me a heart attack!" Brandon said nervously with a hand on his chest and breathing heavily.

"I knew the jetpack calibrations were off the wack." Mama Jaws said as she approaches both the cameraman and the Camtrap unit. "Here, let Mama Jaws have a look at it."

Camtrap got scared once hearing that it's going to have its circuits worked on by this female bandit.

"Ah, help me master!" Camtrap said nervously while hiding behind its master. "I don't trust the female bandit."

"Aww c'mon. I promise I won't bite." Mama Jaws said, putting a weak attempt to be friendly. "Actually, I can't promise that. That's just how I work. But I could promise that it won't hurt. You won't feel it anyway."

"Don't worry, Camtrap." the cameraman said as he pats Camtrap on the back, trying to comfort it. "I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Okay. Just be gentle." Camtrap said, less nervous than before.

"Heh, that's what she said." Mama Jaws said humorously. "Hey, Hyperion b*tch. Wanna help out with this? Jetpacks are your specialty, ain't it?"

"I have no interest on such matters." Selena said coldy. "You are on your own."

"Pfft, whatever." Mama Jaws said as she walks to the back of the Camtrap unit and start working on it. "Alright, let's open this baby up. Mama's gonna fix you up good."

As Mama Jaws tries to work on the various circuits and wires behind Camtrap unit, some of the people are about to leave while some stayed to watch. Then suddenly, something got everyone in the room's attention.

[(static)... foreplay accident ...(static)... buy Torgue of you're f*cking retarded ...(static)...This is Sparky Flynt ...(static)... "Victims of Vault Hunters."...] Camtrap said in another stranger's voice.

"Er, what was that?" the cameraman curiously asked.

"Ah, I must have triggered the radio circuit board." Mama Jaws as she continues to mess with the circuits. "It sort of turns Camtrap into some sort of ECHO radio, receiving frequencies and broadcasting them just like earlier."

"Wow, that's AWESOME! I suddenly have newfound respect for you, Camtrap!" K.C. said loudly, which makes Camtrap blush a little (if robots are capable of blushing). "Turn it to that Torgue commercial so I could hear Daddy Torgue ramble on about Torgue guns like a badass!"

"No, wait. Turn it to that ...er... victims of vault hunters thing." Brandon said excitedly. "I think it's talking about us."

[...(static)... I repeat. I am Sparky Flynt, son of Captain Flynt, and my dad had been killed by these six vault hunters: Axton the commando, Maya the siren, Salvador the gunzerker, Zero the assassin, Gaige the mechromancer, and Krieg the psycho.]

"Axton?" Eugene said to himself.

"Zero-sensei! Could it be?" Kazuki muttered with concern.

"Krieg..." Selena thought, eyes narrowing.

[I shall have revenge upon those who have wronged me by killing my father and I would appreciate any help I can get from across the galaxy to take down any one of them. Mark my words, with your help, every one of them shall die! That's said, I'm hosting a meeting on Pandora at a location known as Wam Bam Island. I have received news that those six vault hunters are going to be there. We'll be forming a group known as "Victims of Vault Hunters" and discuss strategies on how to defeat them. It is going to be great! Refreshments will be served. ECHO me if you want further details. Bye now!...] Camtrap ended the transmission with static. Everyone in the cockpit paused for a moment and look at each other.

"Well, that was weird." Mama Jaws commented.

"You're right! Who would want to ask for help from others avenging their own father's death!" K.C. remarked loudly. "If it were me, I'll do it alone, preferably with lots of EXPLOSIVES! Explosives always gets the job done!"

"Whatever. I'm going back to my room." Selena told the others. She and some of the others left the cockpit while others stayed and mingle with the female bandit working on the Camtrap unit.

"Man, looks like Axton just got himself in another jam. How typical." Eugene said smugly to himself.


	13. Past Memories

**Author's Note****: In case you're wondering, the part of the story written in italics will represent flashbacks. I've seen other authors use it like that and I'm not sure how well it works. Write a review on it and let me know. Ok? Thanks!**

Chapter 13: Past Memories

_The alarms are ringing…_

_But these aren't the typical alarms that you use to wake yourself up..._

_Or the ones that are installed on the Blue Moby..._

_No, these alarms are something else and I am somewhere else..._

_In a Hyperion facility, strapped into a mechanism made solely for torture. It was largely clean and mechanical and it holds me in a position like I'm being crucified. As I struggle to keep my tired eyes open, I saw the bright white light standard to the room I'm being kept at turn into an alarming red, as if something bad has happened within the facility. _

_How long was it that I was being kept here? Days...weeks...months...years? I lost track of time. I've been tortured for so long that time doesn't matter anymore. Time has forsaken someone like me to be part of it. I'm just an empty shell of a human, almost deprived of the will to live. I used to be strong. Used to think I am, anyway. But no matter how strong I am, there will always be a way to crack me._

_How did I end up in here, you may ask? Simple. I went against a powerful man. A man so dangerous, it sends chills down people's spines just by mentioning of the name. Never has this man been more hated than anyone else here on Pandora. Even the local bandits pale in comparison to what this person did. A man who had seemingly and miraculously take over an entire corporation at a fortnight and take over almost an entire planet in an matter of months. A man willing to slaughter countless innocent people just for the heck of it and laugh right in your face while doing it. A man named-_

_"__Selena!" a female voice suddenly interrupted my train of thought. "Selena, are you alright! Oh my God, you look terrible. Here, let me get you out of it." I tried to open my eyes as everything becomes such a blur. Then I start to gain focus and see who that voice belongs to. It was that of a blonde-hair woman in a scientist uniform. Her hair is tied into a ponytail and her eyes covered ever so slightly by her huge eyeglasses._

_"__Sammy?" I said weakly as she pushes some buttons on the control panel of the device that holds me. "Sammy, what are you doing here?"_

_"__No time to explain!" Sammy said urgently. "We need to get you out of here! Now!"_

_As I got out of the wretched device, I was embraced with the sweet, loving arms of my savior. So kind and gentle, such a feeling I have missed for so long. How ironic that, at the same time, we are trying desperately to escape what could be my Pandoran version of hell. The alarms are still ringing loudly, so I guess we are going to have to go through the reinforcements. _

_We exited the room and headed down the hallway, with me holding on to Sammy for support as I'm too weak to walk by myself. As we walk, it seems strange to me that there are no reinforcements trying to stop us from leaving the facility. Then I found several corpses lying around on the hallways, all Hyperion forces. As I focus my eyes more, they don't seem to be killed by firearms, more like being butchered by some large melee weapon. _

_"__Don't worry about them. Just keep on going." Sammy urged as we walk quickly._

_Then I heard screams coming down the hallway. Then I saw blood splattered on the walls. Then I saw the shadow of a man. A huge man carrying a particularly large buzzaxe of some sort. As we turn the corner, we saw who the shadow belongs to. It's a psycho. One that is larger than any typical psycho bandit and with eyes filled with bloodlust. It seems angry._

_"__Stand back, Sammy." I said as I try to be the protective one, getting in between Sammy and the bloodthirsty psycho who have just slaughtered all those Hyperion forces. "Hey, get away from her! You wanna fight, you'll have to go through me!"_

_"__No, wait!" Sammy yelled as she holds on to my arm. "He's here to help us."_

_"__What?" I said, almost dumbfounded._

_"__He is part of a Hyperion experiment. I let him out so that he can help us get out of here." Sammy said. I almost couldn't believe my ears. A psychopathic bandit helping us getting out of this wretched place. I don't know I should trust help from that source, but beggars can't be choosers._

_"__Can he be trusted?" I doubted, with a slight hint of nervousness._

_"__Yes...well, I don't know, really, but we don't have time for that right now." Sammy said urgently. She's right. I can feel the Hyperion troops closing in. It's only a matter of time that they get to us._

_"__FOLLOW THE LEADER TO CHEW METAL, SPLASH BLOOD, AND OUT OF THIS RABBIT HOLE!" the psycho yelled as he swings his buzzaxe. Even with his incoherent speech, I can sort of guess what he is trying to say._

_"__Alright, whatever. Let's get out of here." I said. _

_We soon find ourselves fighting our way together through the Hyperion reinforcements, anything from human soldiers to robotic loaders. Well, the psycho is doing most of the fighting anyway. It is amazing how one man with a buzzaxe can do so much damage to the enemy troops. It's as if he is more beast than man. Good thing he's on our side._

_We finally reached the main exit. Freedom is just a couple of steps away. But then suddenly, an overwhelming force was chasing behind us. There are multiple badass loaders, dozens of Hyperion soldiers, and even a constructor to throw into the mix. Escaping from that is not likely. _

_"__ALICE AND RABBIT ESCAPE! MAD HATTER HOLD DOWN QUEEN'S CARDS!" the psycho babbled._

_"__I think he means we need to escape while he holds back the troops." Sammy interpreted._

_"__No! They'll kill you if you stay!" I told him._

_"__MAD HATTER HAS NO FEAR OF QUEEN'S JUDGEMENT! ALICE AND RABBIT BE SAFE! FLY WHEREVER THE WIND TAKES YOU!" the psycho yelled._

_"__Thanks." I said sincerely. "We won't forget this."_

_It was hard to leave that poor psycho all alone to fight all those reinforcements. Even though we've only shortly met, I can't help but feel sympathy towards the result of Hyperion's atrocities, for I too had experienced it. I thought about that as I follow Sammy to escape the facility. Running as fast as we can, we still occasionally turn around to see our psycho friend butchering those enemy troops for us. Shortly after, we are a safe distance away from the facility, with the fight only a far sight from our eyes._

_"__Thank you, Krieg!" Sammy yelled back at the location of the fight that is far away. "Thank you for everything! We won't forget about you, Krieg! We promise we'll repay your favor one day, Krieg! Goodbye, Krieg!"_

_Krieg…_

_Krieg…_

Krieg!

Selena abruptly woke up from her sleep. She is now in her bed, at her room aboard the Blue Moby. She now remembers that she is part of a corporate vault hunt and what had happened before was only an intense flashback.

"*Sigh*, so it was a dream, huh?" Selena muttered to herself.

Selena now tries to go back to sleep but couldn't. There was just something on her mind. Something about that transmission she heard this evening that had really bothered her. Somebody is going to kill this particular psycho, along with some other vault hunters. Why does she seem bothered by it? Was it because of that incident in her dreams? Was it that she feels obligated to return the favor and help him out?

"He's an unstoppable killing machine. I'm sure he can handle whatever the assassins throw at him." Selena thought to herself.

But what if he couldn't? What if one of the assassins was from Hyperion? What if they figured out a way to take him down once in for all? As Selena toss and turn on her bed, she knew she couldn't sleep while this is going on with her knowing about it. She needs to do something. So she got out of bed, put on her Hyperion battle suit, and exited her room.

* * *

Kazuki was not in the room when Selena was putting on her battle suit, as Selena had noticed. Instead, Kazuki was sitting at the eatery, resuming her hobby of drawing. She didn't turn on the lights, instead opt to use the moonlight as the source of light for her drawing session. She thinks it really adds to the atmosphere of creating art. It was then that she is reminded of her old companion from long ago, the one mentioned in the mysterious transmission about victims of vault hunters.

"Zero-sensei…" Kazuki muttered to herself, as currently she is drawing what looks like a very detailed portrait of Zero. She is now reminiscing her interactions with the assassin a long time ago.

_It was 7 years ago._

_I was still in my teenage years, worrying about high school and my role in the family. Surely, it was a wealthy family, with everything you can imagine you'll ever need be brought to you by a servant. But it is also a family with a fair amount of hostility and oppression. In one half, I was well-treated by my father and oldest half-brother. They were about the only two of the new family that treats me like an actual family member, with kindness and generosity. On the other half, I was miserably treated by my new mother and second-oldest half-brother. They might as well treat me as a servant, for even servants have suffered treatment better than what I have gone through coming from them. _

_It's like there are polar opposites of this family and I am being stuck in the middle. I didn't complain, obviously. I don't want to make things difficult for my father, for it is his decision to bring me in to the family. I could only endure my new mother's harsh words and occasional physical abuse until I could finally gain recognition from this family as a whole. I'll manage with using the kindness I get from one half of the family to balance out the misery I get from the other. Whatever the bad half of my new family throws at me, that is to be expected. What I didn't expect was this._

_"__HELP! Mpmhmphmhpmhp..." I cried as I was suddenly grabbed by a group of strange men while I was on my way home from school. They proceed to muffle me, cover my head with a black cloth bag, and tie me up. Then they carry me inside a van and drove away. This is a kidnapping and I am so scared at the moment that I could cry._

_"__Shut the f*ck up, pretty girl! Don't want to listen to us and you'll get a knife in your pretty little throat." the voice of a strange man inside the van said. "Once we get the money from your wealthy dad, we'll let you off the hook, which is a real shame, really. You could do well hangin' around with us, if you know what I mean."_

_"__Or we could sell her in the black market and still fetch a decent price, don't you think?" the voice of another man spoke up._

_"__SHUT THE F*CK UP AND DRIVE THE F*CKIN VAN!" the voice of the first man yelled. "Heh, not a bad idea. Though, if I prefer, I'll had you all to myself, Hehehehe..."_

_The trip in the van went on for about an hour or so, until they finally move me to a warehouse. I have seen typical kidnappings in the movies before, but to actually experience it is extremely terrifying. I tried to hold back my tears, tried to contain all the negative emotions that is flooding inside me just so I won't upset my kidnappers. I wouldn't dare to even think of what they would do to me if I were to upset them. _

_"__Come on! Answer the phone already!" one of the strange men snapped as he is currently calling my father to ask for the ransom. It seems the phone was finally picked up because the strange men are now telling the person on the other side about the details of the exchange. It is typical in a kidnapping for the person paying the ransom to want to confirm that the kidnapped person is alive, so I, in turn, answer the phone._

_"__Father, help me!" I cried desperately over at the phone._

_"__Kazuki! Don't worry, father will-" my father yelled over on the other line, with a mix of sadness and anger._

_"__Uh, that's all you're getting from your little daddy." the strange man took the phone away and resumed his conversation with my father. "You heard that, Mr. Akiyama. Now go along with the exchange as planned and you'll have your sweet lovely daughter back. If not...HA! You get where this is going, right? Now, see ya later!"_

_The strange man hung up the phone. At that moment, I still cannot believe that this is happening to me. I really wish this was a bad dream, but sadly it isn't. I patiently waited in the warehouse along with the kidnappers as I let my tears run wildly on my cheeks._

_It is now night, or at least I think it is. I could hardly tell through the bag that is over my head. There is a strange silence that is in the atmosphere that makes it quite eerie. Then suddenly, one of the kidnappers broke the silence._

_"__Man, what is taking that old man so long? He should have been here already" one of the kidnappers said impatiently._

_"__Maybe he really didn't want to give up the money." another kidnapper added._

_"__You hear that, girl? Looks like you're belonging to me after all." yet another kidnapper said, this time right in my face._

_Then suddenly, the lights in the warehouse went out. I could only tell so much from having that bag over me. I can tell that it was not shut off intentionally because the kidnappers are panicking right now._

_"__What was that?! Who turned off the lights?!" one of the kidnappers nervously yelled. _

_Then suddenly, I heard screaming. And sounds of blade slashing though flesh. Like there was someone inside the warehouse taking down the kidnappers one by one. It was horrible to hear those screams, even though they are from the ones who kidnapped me. Then it was perhaps a good thing that I was blindfolded from most of it. _

_"__Gah! Who the F*CK are you?!" the last kidnapper yelled before he let out the last scream of his life, for it had just ended. _

_Then someone took off the bag over my head and removed my muffle. I couldn't see much with the lights in the warehouse out, but with the moonlight shining down through the windows, I see the figure of my savior._

_It was a strange figure indeed. My savior was a tall and skinny man wearing a black helmet covering his entire face and a dark-gray jumpsuit. He seems to be wielding a sword of a futuristic-looking style and, upon closer inspection, only had four digits on each hand. Seeing as how all of the kidnappers are now dead around me, I got a bit uncomfortable with this man saving my life, but I still couldn't thank him enough._

_"__Who are you?" I nervously asked._

_"__My name is Zero/ Your father asked me to help/ Here to rescue you." my savior said with a strangely semi-robotic deep voice._

_That was the first time I met him._

Kazuki snapped back into reality when she hears footsteps from down the hall. She looked back to see Selena rushing down into the first floor of the Blue Moby. She sees Selena now in her battle suit instead of her sleepwear, which is quite strange indeed.

"What could she be doing this time of the night?" Kazuki thought to herself.

* * *

"What was that? Care to say that again?" Eugene said over at the ECHO device, which is now acting like some sort of phone. He is now talking to someone else over at the cargo bay of the Blue Moby.

"You heard me. I've received intel that Jarter is going to be at Pandora to kill Axton." there is the voice of woman at the other end of the line talking to Eugene. "You need to stop him, by whatever means necessary."

"Woah, slow down there, Sarah." Eugene said with his signature cool and smug voice. "Since when do you care about Axton now that you divorced his ass?"

"Eugene..." Sarah said at the other end.

"And also, you didn't say the magic word." Eugene said smugly.

"Eugene!" Sarah yelled.

"Alright. Alright. Calm down, girl. Geez." Eugene replied.

"*Sigh* Please, you know why I'm asking you to do this. I can't be on Pandora right now because of this corporate vault hunt." Sarah explained. "The rules had forbid any influence from Dahl on Pandora. So, right now, you are the only Dahl personnel legally allowed on Pandora right now."

"Wait, does that mean Jarter is clearly breaking the rules of the vault hunt now that he's on Pandora?" Eugene asked.

"Technically, he is." Sarah answered. "But that won't matter if he's going to have Axton killed. I wouldn't have asked you to do this if there is any other way."

"Oh, I see. Just because I've got the privilege of being a vault hunter now, that means I've have to deal with this crap." Eugene said annoyingly. "Besides, he's not part of Dahl anymore, and any Dahl soldier that sees him is ordered to kill him on sight."

"Eugene. He's your friend." Sarah said.

"And he's also your ex-husband. Look, I get why you are asking me to do this." Eugene said. "But I've got a lot on my plate already, what with the corporate vault hunt and all that going on."

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" Sarah said surprisingly. "Also, you are not one who takes orders seriously anyway. You're refusing to do this because of something else."

"Girl, I have no idea what you are talking about." Eugene tries desperately to deny something.

"Admit it. You are not taking this chance to save Axton's life because you still mad that he chose me over you." Sarah said steadfastly.

"Man, why do you have to bring that up? That was years ago! I'm already over it!" Eugene said defensively. "I'm just as pissed off as you are if anyone tries to kill Axton."

"Then prove it! Despite of what you said in the interview, I know you wouldn't have it in you to kill probably the best and only friend that you will ever have." Sarah persuaded.

"Man, you saw that interview, huh? Then, you probably saw that part where I called you a b*tch, right?" Eugene joked.

"Yes, Eugene. I saw that as well." Sarah said blankly.

"Ehehehe...Alright, alright. You make a fair point." Eugene said. "I don't have it in me to kill Axton, even if under Dahl's orders. But it's going to take a lot more convincing for me to actually put in the effort to save his ass. In this case, that means you owe me a favor."

"*Sigh* Really?" Sarah said annoyingly. "What about all those times I saved you when we were fighting together in the service?"

"Uh-nuh, that don't count, because I've saved your ass plenty of times as well." Eugene countered. "And you do have a really nice ass."

"Eugene!" Sarah snapped.

"Hehe, you know I'm right. Man, what a lucky son of a b*tch Axton was to have a wife like you." Eugene said.

"*Sigh* Fine. I owe you a favor." Sarah said hesitantly. "Now, all you need to do is to make sure my idiot ex-husband stays alive from Jarter's idiotic attempts of killing him."

"Girl, do you know who you're talking to?" Eugene said smugly. "I'm the best of the best that Dahl has to offer. Besides, I don't like Jarter anyway. And he definitely won't like me when I'm done with him."

"Alright then. Goodbye for now. We'll be in touch." Sarah said before she hung up.

"Hehe, oh Axton, Axton, Axton…" Eugene muttered to himself as he is lying against the wall with his arms crossed inside the cargo bay. He is now recalling the first time he met his fellow soldier within the Dahl's military.

_"__Attention!" the drill sergeant yelled over at a group of soldiers that are now training under the Dahl military._

_It was my first time training under Dahl ten years ago. Even though I was already trained under the military of my nation before and have a good amount of experience under my belt, apparently it's not good enough for Dahl and that everyone has to start from the beginning. It pisses me off that the skilled and deserving had to waste time training with the greens here, but I'll show them. I'll show them what it means to be the best of the best. To top over everything else and don't let anyone stand in my way._

_"__You maggots are going to be training under Dahl, the most proficient corporate military in the entire galaxy." the drill sergeant explained with a stern loud voice over a group of soldiers that are lined up neatly in rows over at an open-air military base. "So I expect you all to be in your best shape, top of the class, and no screwing around. I...what in God's name are you doing, private?!"_

_The drill sergeant was referring to me. I was calmly combing my hair with a short brush while all of the other soldiers were standing sternly without so much as moving a muscle. My hair was that of a short afro that is so perfect and neat, it will make girls wet their panties just by looking at it. Combine that with my dark skin, handsome face, and well-toned muscles, and you know chicks will go absolutely crazy over me. You could say that I'm vain and egotistical, but what do you expect from one that seeks for none other than perfection?_

_"__I was combing my hair." I said calmly and smugly, without showing even a hint of fear that the drill sergeant was damn near pissed-off at me, which makes him even more pissed off._

_"__Maggot! You were combing your hair?! You dare comb your hair while I was delivering my speech?!" the drill sergeant was shouting angrily in my face. I can already feel some of his spit flying onto my face, which was admittedly kind of disgusting._

_"__What? You jealous cuz you don't have any hair of your own to comb with?" I replied jokingly. That remark hit right where it hurts for the bald drill sergeant, who tries to hide it underneath that hat of his. You should have seen the look on his face when I said that. It was red with anger and maybe a hint of embarrassment. I can't help but also notice some of my fellow soldiers around me try to hold back their laughter when I made that joke that insulted the drill sergeant, though the one fellow soldier standing next to me as chuckling louder than the rest. _

_"__What are you laughing at?!" the drill sergeant yelled, now focusing on that chuckling fellow private next to me. _

_"__Oh, it was nothing, sir. I just thought it was kind of funny." that fellow private next to me said, with the same amount of calm composure that I had._

_"__What seems to be the problem, drill sergeant?" a woman came by and asked. She was in a military uniform that implies she is of a higher ranking than the drill sergeant._

_"__Nothing, Lieutenant. I was just here disciplining the new recruits." the drill sergeant replied in a respectable manner. "These people doesn't seem to get the idea of respecting others."_

_"__In that case, you need to do something to earn that respect. Over time, once you train them and beat the idea in their heads, then will they truly get how to respect." the woman said sternly as she moves over to me and the chuckling fellow next to me. _

_"__What's your name, private?" the woman asked me with a serious glare._

_"__Eugene." I answered smugly._

_"__And what about yours?" the woman asked the fellow chuckling private standing next to me._

_"__It's Axton, ma'am." he answered with a brief cough. "With respect, Lieutenant, what is your name?" It seems like the fellow soldier is trying to flirt with the lieutenant, which is a bold move._

_The lieutenant looked away and nodded a couple of times, seems to be impressed with the bold move that Axton had pulled on her. Then she turns her head back to look at Axton and said "It's Sarah."_

_Axton smiled. It's that kind of smile that, from what I can tell, is trying to say he succeeded at something, even if it's just knowing the name of a woman you are trying to flirt with. _

_"__50 laps around the camp, both of you." the lieutenant ordered with a serious face._

_"__Pfft, that's it?" I replied smugly._

_"__100 laps, then. No breaks." the lieutenant ordered._

_Both Axton and I weren't going to argue with this woman, so we complied and went with the running. You can tell she's every bit as scary as the drill sergeant, perhaps even scarier. Doesn't make her less of a b*tch, though._

_"__Way to go, combover." Axton said to me as we are starting to run our laps around the Dahl military camp._

_"__Hey, don't blame me. That lieutenant's a b*tch, that's all." I replied._

_"__Eh, I don't know. I think she's hot. She's got attitude. I like that in a woman." Axton said._

_"__Heh, whatever. Hey, 10 bucks says I finish first." I betted as I sprinted, passing Axton._

_"__Oh no you don't. Also, make that 20." Axton replied, quickly followed with a sprint and eager to win that bet._

_Over time, Axton and I became close friends. At that time, I didn't make a lot of friends due to my egotistical nature. Almost everyone either hated me or is jealous of me for my combination of narcissism and above-average skills in being a soldier. But Axton and I are something else. Not only are we friends, but we're also rivals, constantly pushing each other to be our very best. I like hanging out with him, and I'm sure he likes hanging out with me as well. Things just sort of work out well between us and I wouldn't have it any other way._

_Sarah is right. He is probably the only friend I'll ever have and I'll be damned if I let anything happen to him. _

Eugene exited the cargo bay, trying to think of some way to stop Jarter from following through on his plan. As of right now, it won't be easy splitting from the group of corporate vault hunters to go on a solo rescue mission. Maybe perhaps once he goes to Sanctuary, he'll be able to freely go wherever and finally get this 'unofficial' mission done.

Then, as Eugene exited the cargo bay, he saw a glimpse of what seems to be Selena heading into the cockpit, with battle-suit on and geared up. Eugene was curious as to what she's up to and quietly followed her into the cockpit to find out.

* * *

Selena enters the cockpit to find the cameraman sleeping by one of the side benches, along with Camtrap next to him on the floor in sleep mode. Because of the lack of staff, the cameraman also has to be the one responsible for setting up the auto-pilot on the ship as well as other things (yep, cleaning toilets is one of them). That means he can do what Selena needs to be done.

Selena abruptly wakes up the cameraman by lifting him by the collar of the shirt and smash him against the wall. Then, with a short energy blade attached to her left gauntlet (that's right, this chick's got energy blades...mother*cker!), she points it near the cameraman's throat and said to him "Tell me, how do I get to Wam Bam Island?"


	14. Wam Bam Island Incident

**Author's Note****: *Sigh* Haven't been getting a lot of reviews lately. Is it because this doesn't have boobs in it? Is that all you guys care about? I mean I wrote this fan-fic because I just want to get this story out of my head, but I'll appreciate some sort of feedback. Anyway, after a couple of chapters, I'll try to add some humor into my story to freshen it up a little bit. God that sounds depressing. Don't mind me, I'm just a bit under the weather lately. Hope you guys enjoy the story.**

Chapter 14: Wam Bam Island Incident

"Tell me, how do I get to Wam Bam Island?" Selena asked the cameraman intimidatingly, as she was pushing him against the wall with one arm and holding a gauntlet-attached energy blade to his neck with another arm.

"Huh? What… what the …?!" the cameraman was just coming to his senses as to what was happening. Then when he realized what was happening, he felt fear and was tempted to scream

"Don't scream. Don't say anything else. Answer my questions and follow my instructions and you won't have to die." Selena ordered with a soft but angry voice as he glares at the cameraman.

The cameraman only nodded nervously, which meant that he'll be willing to comply with her requests, albeit in a forced manner. He just wants to shout for help, but doesn't want to upset the Hyperion specialist who is clearly a crazy b*tch.

"Good. Now, I'll ask again. How do I get to Wam Bam Island?" Selena asked.

"We're actually not that far away from here. If you want, I could set a course change and we'll be there, 30 minutes tops." the cameraman said nervously but compliantly. Selena then relinquishes her hold onto the cameraman, allowing him to do his duties. "Um… mind if I ask why do you need to go there?"

"That is none of your business. You will set the course straight to the location I ordered. Do not let anyone else on this ship know about what's happened here. If they do find out and ask about the course change, find an excuse." Selena told the cameraman with great detail and efficiency. "I will be on and off of the island in one hour at most. If any asks where I am, tell them you don't know and that you never saw me. Keep everything a secret. Tell anyone about this incident and your life ends."

"Right, got it." the cameraman replied as he quickly gone to the piloting controls on the ship to make some adjustments. "Setting course for Wam Bam Island. ETA 25 minutes."

"Well, well, well. Look what's going on here?" a voice said, originating from the door of the cockpit. Selena and the cameraman quickly turned around, with Selena immediately taking out her Hyperion SMG pointed directly at the origin of the voice. It was Eugene, with Kazuki closely behind her. Kazuki was a bit startled seeing Selena pointed a gun at her, although Eugene was unfazed by the threat.

"We heard a commotion going on in the cockpit, so we came to see what is happening. What is going on?" Kazuki asked while slightly shocked to see what's happening in front of her.

"I'll only say this once. Stay out of this. Pretend that you never saw any of this and don't tell anyone on this ship about this, or your will die." Selena said intimidatingly with a serious face, the SMG still pointed to Eugene and Kazuki.

"Girl, you don't scare me." Eugene said smugly as if he really wasn't scared of her. "Besides, I already know what you are planning to do."

"What do you mean, Eugene-san?" Kazuki said surprisingly. "What is she planning to do?"

"Well, obviously, she is responding to the message we heard from the Camtrap about a certain Sparky Flynt, trying to kill a certain group of vault hunters on Wam Bam Island." Eugene deducted. "I wouldn't reckon she'll want to go there for a vacation. Now, my guess is one of the two things. Either she knows one of the vault hunters and was trying to help Sparky Flynt kill them, or she is trying to save one of the vault hunters."

"What? You know one of the vault hunters that were mentioned? So do I." Kazuki said shockingly as her face turns to that of slight anger when she readies her Talisman cards from under her sleeves. "Tell me, is it to kill or to save? And which one are you targeting?"

"That is none of your concern." Selena said with a mildly angry tone. She wants to raise her voice, but doesn't want to wake up the others over at this confrontation. She glares at Kazuki some more, clearly wanting them to back off. Kazuki glares back, clearly not wanting to stay out of this.

"Woah, easy there. I know one of the vault hunters as well. He's Axton the commando and he is one of my best buds. In fact, I was just thinking of saving his ass before you came along." Eugene said as he is trying to calm the tension between the two female corporate vault hunters. "So how about this? We strike a deal."

"What are you proposing?" Kazuki said intriguingly.

"Since we all know one of the vault hunters that are all currently on Wam Bam Island, I'll say we all go there together." Eugene proposed. "We then find this Sparky guy and do what we have to do. Then we all come back here and no one will notice that we were gone."

"Absolutely not." Selena said sternly. "You guys will only interfere with my mission."

"Well, there is a vault hunter among the group that I won't let you kill. His name is Zero and he is a friend of mine." Kazuki said with determination.

"Good, because I wasn't going to kill him, or any one of the vault hunters. I am trying to save one of them as well." Selena replied.

"Really?" Kazuki said with relief while putting away her Talisman cards. "In that case, I wouldn't mind you completing your mission. But I shall come along, because I need to save my friend as well."

"You two are not going anywhere. Both of you stay on this airship and ignore this conversation we just had. You got that?" Selena said, growing impatient.

"Girl, you just don't get it, do you?" Eugene said smugly. "It's not about you anymore. We also have friends that we care about, and we also need to make sure that they stay alive. Besides, you put one bullet into either me or this pretty young lady over here and you bet your ass that everyone on this ship will find out. Then you can say goodbye to your chances of saving anyone."

Selena takes a couple of seconds to consider all of this. It is getting tougher and tougher to convince them to stay on this ship. Bringing them along might not necessarily compromise the mission too much as long as they stay out of the way. Judging by how they behave during the interviews, they certainly don't lack in competency in doing so. The possibility of them jeopardizing the mission still exists, but she couldn't see any other alternative. Finally, she has made a decision.

"Fine." Selena said as she puts her gun down and holster it. "Once we get to Wam Bam Island and find this Sparky Flynt, we go our separate ways into dispatching whoever he hires as help. Once we are done, we come back to this airship within an hour. No mistakes. No compromises. Also, we do not speak of this to anyone. If this goes exactly as planned, no one will need to know what we were doing."

"Heh, you got it." Eugene said smugly as he gave Selena a thumbs-up.

"Understood." Kazuki said. "I promise I will not interfere with your mission, nor will I hold you back."

"We'll see about that." Selena said with a glare.

"Uh, guys. We are almost there at the location." the cameraman said nervously. "You guys might want to wait at the cargo bay. I'll open the doors for you once we've landed."

* * *

It is still in the middle of the night and the Blue Moby has landed on one of the quiet beaches of Wam Bam Island. There were clear skies tonight, with the moon shining brightly from above. As the cargo bay door opens up, the three corporate vault hunters exit the airship, now wandering the beaches to figure out where they were supposed to be heading.

"Mind telling me who you are saving and the reason behind it? Seems like you are going through a lot of trouble for this." Eugene asked Selena.

Selena said nothing, opt to continue walking along the beaches to find their location.

"Pfft, not the talkative type, are you? Whatever." Eugene said casually with his attention now focused on Kazuki. "What about you, girl? What's your deal with this Zero guy anyway? He's your boyfriend or something?"

Kazuki blushed a little as she said "It…it's none of your business. Please, just focus on the mission."

"Heh, whatever you say." Eugene said casually.

They've been walking for several minutes until Eugene finally got tired of the silent walking and spoke again.

"*Sigh* I'm tired of all this walking. How are we supposed to figure out where this Sparky Flynt guy is, anyway?" Eugene said exasperatedly. "It's not like there's a sign saying 'Welcome, victims of vault hunters. Sparky Flynt is that a-way' with an arrow sign pointing us to the right direction."

Just as he said that, they just walked by a sign that says 'Welcum, victems of volt huntarz. Sparky Flynt iz dat a-way' with an arrow sign that seems to be pointing them to the right direction. As they follow the direction, it leads to a resort house with a giant sign by the door that says 'Sparky Flynt waz here.'.

"Well, that's convenient. Though admittedly, with horrible spelling." Eugene said jokingly.

"It isn't safe to go through the front door." Selena advised. "Let's check by the windows."

"I agree." Kazuki agreed.

They then go to the side of the house and carefully open windows to check if anyone is inside. Surely enough, the room is lit and there is someone inside. More precisely, there is an entire group of people sitting at a round table all talking over each other. The corporate vault hunters can smell smoke and food odor from the outside as the group of people tries to converse.

"Erhem#$%. Listen up, people! Hey, listen up!" one of the people started talking louder than the rest to make the others pay attention to him. He was a short one wearing some sort of makeshift armor, with a helmet with exaggerated horns on them. You can hardly tell what his face looks like because of the helmet. As he yells loudly, the entire room starts to quiet down to hear what he has to say. "Thank you all for joining the 'Victims of Vault Hunters' event. I'm Sparky Flynt, and as you all know from my ECHO transmission, I need someone to take care of these six vault hunters, because THESE JERKWADS KILLED MY DAD! I am going to avenge his death and you guys are going to help me." He puts up a whiteboard, showing the pictures and names of the respective six vault hunters. "Now, since, we're all here. Why don't we introduce ourselves?"

"I'll be the first." said a man in a Dahl soldier uniform. He is a Caucasian gruff military man with an asshole grin on his face, like what you see from a bully who is about to f*ck you up. "The name's Jarter and I'm here to kill the commando Axton who went AWOL from Dahl. Any member of Dahl who sees him is ordered to kill him on sight. I'm here to do just that."

"Jarter!" Eugene thought to himself. "So that's where that guy went."

"Wait, wasn't there a corporate vault hunt going on that limits the influence of corporations such as Dahl? I heard that in the radio recently. Why would you be here then?" Sparky Flynt said confusingly.

"Pfft, f*ck that sh*t. So what if I'm going against the rules of this stupid vault hunting thing going on around here. Axton and I got a score to settle, and I am not going to let some corporate assholes tell me what to do." Jarter replied rudely. "By the way, I'm only going to help you guys kill Axton. The rest you guys are going to handle it on your own."

"Fair enough." another man said with more formality than Jarter. This man seems kind of old and appear to be wearing some kind of priest robe. He also seems to act more polite than the Dahl sergeant. "I'm here to only kill one of the vault hunters as well, who is also, apparently, a siren. My name is Mordo Sophis and I'm here to avenge a family member as well. You see, Maya the siren apparently killed my son and came here on Pandora because she seems to disagree with …our methods of treating sirens. Seems like we both have something in common, Mr. Flynt."

"You got that right! Nothing's more important than family! And that is what I'm here to avenge for!" said a man in a casual business attire, his tone seemingly very angry. "I'm Grill Holloway and I'm here to avenge my niece Gracie! This crazy b*tch Gaige apparently built a death machine that vaporized my niece with a swing of its claws during a science fair! Oh, poor Gracie. So young, so innocent. I swear to God, I will kill this girl if it's the last thing I do!" You can tell that he is very emotional right now because he is on the verge of breaking down in tears.

"That's right, ya chumps!" said a man in a marauder bandit outfit. "People call me Blendo. Nice to meet y'all. Now, I may not have a family, but I've got an entire clan who treats me like one. And Salvador the gunzerker killed every single one of them. Sure, they may be bandits and they kill other people for laughs, but that's just who we are. Nobody kills my clan and gets away with it!. NOBODY!"

"Hmph. I'm not here on a quest for vengeance like most of you, apparently." said a man in a Hyperion scientist uniform. "My name is Clements and I simply want to exterminate any loose ends that might have been created during one of Hyperion experiments. Take Krieg the psycho as an example. He's killed a lot of Hyperion personnel and is deemed dangerous to Hyperion if not taken care of."

"Clements. Why is he here?" Selena thought to herself.

"Man, what is it with people from major corporations trying to get in on the action on Pandora even though there's a corporate vault hunt going on? Sparky Flynt asked.

"What is it with you asking unnecessary questions?" Clements replied calmly. "Surely, not everyone takes this corporate vault hunt seriously. We all have our reasons to come here. I've finally tracked that violent bloodthirsty mistake of an experiment down and I am not about to wait for a vault hunting event to be over to finally kill him."

"Hmm, fair point. Okay, last one. What is your name?" Sparky Flynt said to the last man who still hasn't introduced himself yet.

"Watashi wa anata ni watashi no namae o ataeru koto wa arimasen. Watashi wa iudarou subete wa, watashi wa Zero ga shinde hoshīdesu." said the last man. He seems to be wearing some sort of Japanese robe, with an appearance similar to one of those casual-clothed samurai you see in the movies.

"[I will not give you my name. All I will say is I want Zero dead.]" Kazuki translated in her head, for her knowledge in the language is almost impeccable.

"Um, okay…" Sparky Flynt said. "Don't know what the heck you just said. Care to translate a little, or to put it in simpler terms?"

"*Sigh* Zero. Shinu." the Japanese man said, trying to put it in simpler terms.

"Okay, you are referring to Zero. Probably want him dead, maybe?" Sparky Flynt deciphered.

The Japanese man simply nodded.

"Alright, that's it then. We've got everybody. Now here's the plan that I propose…" Sparky Flynt started explaining his secretive master plan of how to take down the vault hunters. Suddenly, Selena seems to have heard enough because she just walked away from the window and start walking towards a certain direction. Eugene and Kazuki were curious as to why the Hyperion specialist just walked away and followed her.

"Hey." Eugene whispered, trying to catch up to Selena. "Where are you going? Don't you want to hear about their master plan?"

"That is irrelevant. Because they won't be alive once I'm done. Or at least one of them won't be alive." Selena said coldly as she suddenly stops walking. She then takes a look around the environment, as if analyzing for something. "There's a good sniping spot over there." She points towards a building a couple dozen yards away, which was raised on a platform. "I should be able to do a good amount of reconnaissance from that spot. These people will come out of their house eventually. Once they do, I'll follow my target through the scope of my sniper rifle. If I'm lucky, I'll just snipe my target once he is isolated and be done with my mission."

"Wow, speaking like a tactical pro. I'm impressed." Eugene said, responding to Selena's strategic explanation.

"There is something that bothers me." Kazuki noted. "One of the victims of vault hunters said he's from Hyperion. I think his name is Clements. Would having him being associated with your target in the same group interfere with your mission?"

Selena thought about it for a moment. Clements IS her target. Clements wants to kill Krieg and she is going to stop him She just doesn't want Kazuki to know too much about it.

"You ask too many questions. I do not intend to answer any of them. Now, if you excuse me, this is where we part." Selena said coldly. "Remember, we all go back to the airship at the designated time. If you're late, you'll be left behind. Goodbye." With that, she activated her jetpack and quietly hover towards her sniping spot.

"Well, now I've got to find myself a recon spot as well." Eugene said to himself before telling Kazuki "Good luck with you target, Maliwan girl." With that, he gave her a casual salute and went to another direction.

Kazuki looked around to see that both of her fellow vault hunters were now gone. Now she's all by herself on this task of stopping whoever's trying to kill Zero. She feels a little bit scared but her habit of serene etiquette prevents her from showing it. Nonetheless, she walks towards yet another direction and into the dark night sky, hiding and trying to hunt her prey.


	15. Killing in Threes

Chapter 15: Killing in Threes

As Selena lie down on her sniping shot, with a Hyperion sniper rifle at hand looking at the resort house of the "Victims of Vault Hunters", she kept asking herself "Why is she doing this? Was it to repay a favor? Was it worth risking exposing herself and revealing her TRUE mission behind the corporate vault hunt?" This wasn't part of the plan. The plan involves pretending to be someone you are not and loving something you hate in order to save the one you love. The other corporate vault hunters do not know the true side of her, and they will never find out, even at the end of the vault hunt. That's how it's going to be. But as the days go by, it is getting harder and harder to follow with the plan. She might not have known Krieg for too long, but considering the things he has done for her, she considers him as one of her friends. She couldn't just stand by while one of her friends is going to be killed. All she could do is to use her skills to make sure nobody finds out.

Then there is the source of the problem: Clements. She knows that bastard even before all of this. Clements was part of conducting her "torture" routine. Even though it was through somebody else's orders, she could tell that he enjoys it. Clements was a sadistic sicko under the disguise of a polite scientist. Among all of the experiments he has conducted for Hyperion, none of them have even the decency to hide the horrors of what's really behind it. Genetic slag mutations of innocent civilians who didn't know better were done by plenty of Hyperion scientists, Sammy included. But unlike Sammy, Clements feel no remorse or guilt. This time, he'll likely try to capture Krieg alive instead of killing him like he claims to, basically because he is addicted to torturing others. He'll even go against the orders from the higher-ups of Hyperion just to capture his so-called "experiment". That goes to show that not even the corporation that he works for can stop him from doing what he wants.

Then there are the corporate higher-ups who are overlooking the vault hunt. Since the establishment of the rules, clearly Clements wasn't under Hyperion's orders to come here. Or maybe he is and Hyperion just makes sure to hide it among the other corporate leaders. Selena doesn't expect any of the corporations to fight fair anyway and that any attempt to cheat the game will most definitely be discreet. Then again, this isn't about cheating the corporate vault hunt, otherwise Selena would have known about it, so most likely it's the other scenario. In that case, no one would miss Clements if he is suddenly "gone". The president of Hyperion surely wouldn't mind.

By the way, since the death of Handsome Jack, there has been a change in management. The new CEO of Hyperion takes care of the business now. In fact, he is one of the first that suggested this corporate vault hunt in the first place. Of course, everything is not as it seems, for if you are clever, you do not make someone else play a game with you unless you are sure to win. This man, this new head and face of Hyperion, is clever, perhaps even more clever than Handsome Jack. If you have dealt with Hyperion before, you might have already known him.

He goes by the name … of Jeffery Blake.

Suddenly, the door to the resort house opened and all of the 'victims of vault hunters' were coming out of the house, each going to a different direction. Selena focuses her crosshairs on Clements's head. She would have taken the shot there and now if it wasn't for the fact that he was accompanied by the other 'victims of vault hunters'. Too bad before she could make the shot, Clements had already walked into a different resort house, this one stacked along a row of houses along the higher platform. Since it's in closed doors, sniping suddenly ceased to be an option.

Selena was now thinking of close-combat approach. Sneak into the building and silently kill Clements from inside. She waits until the coast is clear and then swiftly activates her jetpack in silent hover mode. She flew to Clements' room, creating as little disturbance as possible. Then she took a peek at the window, noticing Clements's back was turned away from the door. She then slowly opens the door and abruptly went in and slammed Clements in the head, quickly knocking him out.

It was all just a brief but intense action. Why haven't she quickly killed him then and there? She thought that a swift death would not be suited for a monster like him. Even though it may sound messed up and unethical, she wants to enjoy the moment of killing him. So she tied him down on a table and gagged his mouth and wait for him to wake up.

As Clements wakes up, he saw the situation he is in, with the Hyperion specialist slowly walking around him under a dim light, thereby showing her face. As he saw her, his face expressed true horror, panicking as to what's to come.

"Hello, Clements. Remember me?" Selena said coldly.

"Mmmph, mmhpmmmph!" Clements struggles to say anything under his gag.

"You only need to nod for 'yes' and shook for 'no'." Selena explained.

Clements nodded his head nervously.

"Good. Then you probably know why I'm here. I've been dying to kill you ever since you tried to put me in a freakin' electric chair." Selena said with a low but scary voice. She wants to unleash her anger but doesn't want to alert anyone else.

"MMMMPH MMMPHMMMPH!" Clements could hardly say anything as he tries to beg for his life.

"I know what you are trying to say. That you were under Handsome Jack's orders to lock me up and torture me? Well, guess what? That wasn't the only reason, was it? Clearly, you enjoyed it." Selena said with her own version of a sadistic tone.

Clements desperately try to shout through his gag as he shook his head.

"None of your 'excuses' is going to save you now. I know that you are not under Blake's orders to come here, because if he did, he would tell me." Selena said as she runs her fingers through Clements body, thinking of ways of torturing him. "So now, not even the company that you work for would care if you suddenly died under 'mysterious circumstances'."

Then suddenly, she trip onto a briefcase lying on the ground. She was curious of what it holds and so carefully opened it. What's inside reveals to be a number of syringes, all labeled to be a potent poison.

"So, you are planning to use this to stop Krieg, huh?" Selena said while holding the briefcase.

Clements eyes were wide open from shock of how she figured out his plan.

"Oh, I kinda overheard your little plan to stop the vault hunters. Krieg was one of your experiments, wasn't it? You either want him dead or you want him captured alive so you can continue on your experiments that Hyperion is going to fund." Selena said with a tone of voice that is now maniacal.

Clements was silent, not knowing what to say, which meant everything that Selena said had hit the mark.

"Sometimes, I regret ever joining Hyperion. Everything just went to sh*t when Handsome Jack took over. And now Angel is …she is at a better place now." Selena's tone suddenly changed to sentimental, reminiscing of her regret. She turns away from Clements and was on the verge of breaking down in tears before facing back at Clements.

"You might not have been the source of my misery, but you are a bad weed that needs to be pulled out and destroyed." Selena said as she takes out one poison syringe from the briefcase and walk towards Clements.

"I am going to take off the gag. One second later, I'm going to plunge this needle into your chest and inject you full of deadly poison. If you have any sort of decency at all, use that one second to say something meaningful, because those will be your last words." Selena instructed carefully.

She took off the gag and what came out of it was Clements shouting "F*CK YOU, B*TCH!" before the syringe was stabbed into his heart. Suddenly, Clements's body went into a seizure, like his entire body had liquefied pain flowing through his veins. Clements let out a brief scream before Selena gagged him again. Selena then swiftly and savagely took out another syringe from the briefcase and plunge it into Clements's chest area. Then another, and another, and another, until the set of syringes is exhausted.

As Selena repeatedly stab Clements with poison needles, she shouted "You don't deserve to live, you monster! You tortured me repeatedly and you show no remorse of doing so! How does it feel to have a taste of your own medicine, you bastard! DIE IN HELL!"

After she's finally done, Clements had stopped breathing. It is clear that he is now dead. This was very emotional for Selena. For once, she killed someone else like the psycho maniac she realized she has become. As she looked at her hands that were stained with blood, she wept at how every shred of innocence was ripped apart from her. During her time at the Hyperion task force, she had encountered danger and difficulties, but never anything like this. She has killed people, but not like this. She is no longer the same Selena she used to be and that makes her extremely angry and sad.

As she exited the building, leaving the body the way it is, filled with needles like a pincushion, she slowly walked back to the Blue Moby. Then for a moment, she stopped walking and looked up high at the moon.

"Sammy, if you see me like this, what would you think of me?" Selena said softly as she shed a tear of deep sadness. Then she sniffed and wipe the tear off her cheek and said "*Sigh* It doesn't matter right now. All that matters is getting you out. I promise you, I will find the vault and we will be together again. I promise."

With that, she continues to walk back to her airship, aiming to continue in the vault hunt.

* * *

Jarter was walking towards back his own resort house. Then he suddenly got an urge to pee and the bathroom is too far away. So he went by a rocky side of the shore to take a leek onto the waters. (Eww, Disgusting. Remember, don't ever try to pee on the beach.)

"Hey there, Jarter. Long time, no see." said a voice from behind him. Jarter quickly zipped back his pants and turn around only to see Eugene pointing a Dahl assault rifle at him. Jarter slowly raises his hands in the air, hoping the guy with the gun wouldn't shoot and also trying to understand what the hell is going on.

"Eugene! Why the hell are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at a corporate vault hunt or something?" Jarter said with a shocked look on his face.

"I could say the same to you. Apparently, you don't give a damn about rules, do you? I heard about it from your gathering of your little 'victims of vault hunter' group over by the house. You are here to kill Axton on your own terms, and I'm not going to let you do that." Eugene said with smoothness in his voice. From the tone of his voice you can't tell if he is trying to flirt with a girl or trying to kill a man.

Jarter snickered. "What? So you are here to kill me then? Too bad you missed your shot!" Immediately, Jarter pulled out a pistol and did a quick-draw shot towards Eugene's head. Eugene swifty dodged the bullet, but was immediately confronted by Jarter up close as Jarter forcefully but swiftly disarms Eugene from his rifle. Now, Jarter got the gun while Eugene was the one with hands up in the air.

"Classic gun disarm technique. Can't believe you fell for that." Jarter said with an asshole smirk on his face. "Always said you are the best of the best. So loud and proud and all that. Well, f*ck you! After I'm done with you, I'm going to kill Axton and I'm going to f*ck his wife. I always hated that b*tch, anyway. I always hated taking orders from Dahl. They can all go suck my big red pulsating-"

"Woah, woah, easy there. Get too hot-headed and you might miss the tank shot." Eugene said with a confidence grin.

"What tank shot?" Jarter asked.

"Right behind you." Eugene answered. Immediately, Jarter turned around to see an explosive tank shell coming down at him at a parabolic arc. Eugene immediately jumped into the water to avoid the blast. Jarter briefly screamed before the tank shell hit him and blew him into tiny bloody pieces. After the blast, Eugene swam up and grabbed his rifle, now only seeing the two dismembered feet lying on the ground is all that remains of the cheeky Dahl sergeant. He then sees, at a far distance, his Mason mini-tank, now armed with a tank cannon instead of the typical minigun, parked at the shoreline.

Being a soldier means that you always be prepared for any contingencies. Eugene purposely placed his mini-tank at a position that is within the range of where Jarter should be. Eugene planned to confront Jarter to give him a chance to stop or putting a bullet through his skull if he refuses. If that fails, he could always remotely control the mini-tank through voice commands or hand gestures, a handy feature installed to the tank. The mini-tank could easily switch between the mini-gun barrel and the explosive tank-shell barrel through a partial digistruct system, which is convenient on its own. Overall, this mission might have been too easy for Eugene.

"Man, that guy really was an asshole. I don't think anyone with miss him." Eugene said as he recalled his mini-tank back to his SDU and proceeds to walk back to the Blue Moby.

* * *

The man in the Japanese robe that was just in the 'Victims of vault hunters' meeting decided to take a walk along the cliffs that was around the island. It felt strange as he walked, like someone is following him. Then he suddenly turned around and was surprised at what he saw.

It was a beautiful young woman wearing the same style of Japanese robes as he was. She also made no effort to hide her presence as she was walking elegantly and proudly at the back of the white-robed man. However, with the softness of her footsteps, you could hardly tell whether she is really intending to sneak up on you or not.

"[Who are you and what are you doing here?]" the white-robed man spoke in Japanese.

"[My name is Akiyama Kazuki and I am here to stop you from killing Zero.]" Kazuki replied with the same language. It is true that she doesn't have to give her name; in fact, doing so could lead to unnecessary risks upon her and people close to her. However, she thought that it is only polite to do so. Her habit of etiquette prevents her from doing otherwise.

"[Why do you care if this assassin is dead or not? Who is he to you?]" the white-robed man asked curiously.

"[He's a friend. As I am bounded to my friendship, I cannot let you take his life. Why are you doing this?" Kazuki replied politely.

The white-robed man chuckled a little. "[It is for honor. I will not stop hunting this man down, even if I put my life on the line. That is all I'm going to say. If you wish to stop me, you are going to have to kill me.]" the white-robed man said while harshly glaring towards the Maliwan vault hunter.

Kazuki's eyes were wide open in slight shock for a while before narrowing with intense determination. She slowly reaches up her sleeves to pull out a deck of her Talisman throwing cards, ready to fight. "[If you insist, I have no choice but to put you down. I'm sorry.]"

The white-robed man grinned as he digistructs a sword onto his hand pointing it straight to Kazuki. The shocking thing about this sword is that it looks almost exactly like Zero's sword, with a futuristic-looking design. "[It's a shame that my blade had to be used to cut down a flower as beautiful as you. If I die, tell Zero the others will get the sword back.]"

Kazuki thought about it for a moment. What does he mean by that? What does Zero's sword had to do with any of this? Regardless, the white-robed man has already begun the battle by saying "[Start!]".

Immediately, the white-robed man dashes to Kazuki with sword in hand. Kazuki tries to throw several Talisman cards at him but he easily sliced them apart. However, the elemental splash damage released from the slicing of the cards was enough to slow down the white-robed man a little bit as Kazuki pulled out her Maliwan incendiary pistol to finish the job. But, the white-robed man quickly recovered, and was now moving to the side and around Kazuki as he blocked the bullets with his sword. Once he got close enough, he immediately attacked Kazuki with a downward swing followed by a thrust of his sword, both were gracefully dodged by Kazuki. As the white-robed man follows up with a diagonal swipe, Kazuki quickly grasps hold onto his wrists, locking them in place. Then she slapped a Talisman card like a sticky note onto the white-robed man's face, while at the same time buckle the man's grasp of the sword with her chop and palm strike the man in the chest, pushing him away and disarming him in the process. The Talisman card on the face them burst into flames and blinded the white-robed man, causing him to stagger. Kazuki them pulls out her Maliwan pistol, reloads it, and repeatedly fire at the white-robed man. As she fires, the man took steps back until he walks off the cliff and falls over. After Kazuki fired the last shot, she walked by the edge to see the white-robed man being impaled by some sharp spikes that were conveniently placed there. Kazuki throws away the sword and walks off as the white-robed man is confirmed dead.

As Kazuki walked back to the Blue Moby, she wondered to herself "Is that what it feels like to kill a person?" Surely, she had been under intense training with Maliwan and a couple of lessons with Zero. It wasn't light training either, for her father knows that since the vault hunt is going to be competitive and dangerous, her training is going to be as brutal as possible. That's why she remains ever so composed after killing that man. Yet at the same time, she couldn't help but feel a little bit off making her first actual kill. As the days of the vault hunt goes by, she is going to expect a lot more killing from now onwards and she couldn't help but feel a slight dread with the idea.


	16. Leaving a Message

**Author's Note****: Yeah, so I'm basically picking up where we left off on Wam Bam Island, which is where the last DLC of Borderlands 2 took place. With that said, there will be some minor differences in the appearances of the victims of vault hunters and the descriptions of the locations and what not, but I'll try my best to be faithful to the original material. Anyway, enjoy the reads ….. motherf*ckers!**

**Also, on a side note, I type Zero with an 'o' instead of Zer0 with a '0'. Some people do it with the number, but I have my way of doing it. What do you think? Should it change Zero to Zer0?**

Chapter 16: Leaving a Message

Kazuki is now lying on the bed inside the Blue Moby, unable to sleep. There is a chance she could meet up with Zero on Wam Bam Island and tell him about the assassin who is trying to murder him. But there is simply not enough time to go looking all over the island just to look for him, since Selena said time is limited as to staying on that island. However, she could leave a message in the PO Box of Wam Bam Island, addressing to Zero (kinda weird that there is a PO Box there, but whatever). So she decided to give it a try.

As she sees the Pandora sun dawning, she takes out her ECHO device trying to think of something to say. 'To Zero: One day, we shall meet again.' she thought. That seems perfect. It's short and cryptic, just the way Zero likes it in all of his messages. Kazuki now giggles at the times she spends with the mysterious assassin, struggling to tolerate his unique way of speech. Well, 'tolerate' wasn't really the right word. She was intrigued of how anyone is able to speak in haikus in a regular basis. Kazuki was simply fascinated with Zero as she is just as fascinated with haikus. Kazuki wanted to know more about Zero in the given time that she spends with him. However, Zero really likes his privacy. Even her father doesn't know much about the assassin, and he was the one that asked him to rescue Kazuki from the kidnapping. Regardless, Kazuki think of Zero as a mentor and Zero treats Kazuki like a respectable pupil. Kazuki wouldn't have it any other way.

As Kazuki began to type her message "To Zero: One…." suddenly, the door to her room was kicked open, causing Kazuki to jump a little on her bed. The one who kicked the door open was none other than the explosive teenager on the airship.

"GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY!" K.C. yelled as he enters Kazuki's room intrudingly. "Get your hands in the air and let me see you shake what your mama gave ya! Shake it, baby! TO THE EXTREME!"

"K.C.! What are doing here?! This is my room!" Kazuki shouted as she think it is against better judgement for a guy to simply intrude in a girl's room, even if the guy was a 14 year-old demolitions expert.

"This is my morning welcome to all of you! I do that with all of the other rooms! It's to get everyone pumped up for a good and EXTREME morning to start the day!" K.C. said loudly as he was flexing in different positions. "By the way, where's the blondie?"

"She's in the showers, washing up. Now, if you excuse me, this is an all-female room. So I suggest you leave right now." Kazuki warned, trying to be composed as possible.

"Hmm, fine then! I'll just find the blondie and welcome her with my EXTREME morning greeting!" K.C. said loudly as he walks out of the room and proceed to go to the showers to find Selena.

"Wait! No!" Kazuki said as she walks just slightly out at the door, trying to stop K.C. doing something idiotic.

Surely enough, someone was at the showers. K.C. proceed to open the shower room door at the end of the hallway and enter to give out his own personal morning greeting.

"GOOD MORNING, BLONDIE! TO THE EXT-" Before K.C could finish his greeting, he was immediately kicked out of the shower room and slammed to the other side. Selena has a powerful kick, and she is definitely pissed off.

Selena then walked out of the shower room. She is wearing only a towel covering the mid-section part of her body and her hair is partially wet. On her right hand was holding onto a shower basket full of her shower supplies. She gave the knocked-out K.C. a glare before saying "Pfft, jackass."

Kazuki, seeing all of this by sticking her head out of the entrance of her room, could only react with a sweat drop and an annoying sigh. She now sees Selena walking in the hallway towards Kazuki's room. Kazkuki went back into the room and onto her bed, with her ECHO device in hand, trying to resume typing her message to Zero. Unfortunately, the ECHO device said the message had already been sent and it reads "To Zero: One".

"Oh no, I must have accidentally hit the send button when K.C. abruptly entered the room." Kazuki thought to herself. She sighed at the annoyance of having to send another message. Then she looked carefully at the message and thought to herself "'To Zero: One', hmm, that might not be such a bad message after all. In fact, it seems to add an element of mystery to the origin of the message." Kazuki giggled to herself at the playfulness of it all and decide to leave the message at that.

Selena entered the room that Kazuki is in and proceeds to change back to her regular attire.

"I know the teenager might be an idiot sometimes, but do you really have to kick him out like that?" Kazuki said to Selena, who is currently changing inside the room.

"He should be grateful I didn't kill him." Selena said coldly, clearly not one to hold a humorous conversation.

"*Sigh*… ever thought of leaving a message behind?" Kazuki said softly.

"What?" Selena asked.

"You killed someone in order to save someone. I'm sure the one you saved would be curious as to who had done it." Kazuki said.

"I don't have time for things like that. Besides, this is supposed to be a secret, remember?" Selena said sternly. "We will never mention this again."

"Whatever you say." Kazuki agreed casually as she now proceed to exit the room. "I'm going to get some breakfast. Still don't want me to get you anything."

"I'm fine. There is no need." Selena said coldly as she sits at her desk doing something with her ECHO device, not even looking at Kazuki in the face.

Kazuki is slightly saddened at the anti-social behavior of the Hyperion specialist. She exits the room without another word.

Meanwhile, Selena had thought to herself for a moment. Even if she did send a message, Krieg wouldn't be able to understand it, would he? Well, he is sane enough to save me and Sammy back at the Hyperion facility, so I'm sure he is sane enough to understand the message. Is it really that much of a risk to just send one message? She went through all that just to eliminate a threat, so she should be appreciated by someone for her efforts. But in real life, you do not always get appreciated for your efforts, no matter how hard you try. Either way, a simple message would not be too risky. So she activates her ECHO messaging and began to type:

"To Krieg: Sorry for everything. And thank you. Sincerely… Sammy."

It was Sammy who had motivated her into doing what she had to do, so it is only appropriate that she write the message in her name. Selena feels sorry for everything that Hyperion did to him. Even though she wasn't directly part of it and even though Sammy was forced into conducting those experiments, she feels like she is somewhat responsible, being part of Hyperion for so long and all that. She still think of the times when Hyperion was not an evil corporation committing genocide and unethical experiments on a regular basis, when it was just like every other corporation that only do what needs to be done to survive and stay in business. But things change, I guess. Some things will always find a way to make themselves happen, no matter how hard you try to stop it. As Selena finishes reminiscing, she pressed the 'send' button and the message is sent.

Selena felt kind of hungry and decided to exit the room and head to the eatery.

* * *

"So you took care of that man?" Sarah said at the other side of Eugene's ECHO device.

"Yeah, I took care of Jarter. Lobbed a tank shell at him and blew him up into a million tiny bloody pieces." Eugene said with way too much detail. He is now currently in the cargo bay talking to Sarah about the mission.

"Wonderful." Sarah said sarcastically, clearly not appreciating all the gory details.

"Hey, to be fair, he was an asshole. Said after he killed Axton, he's going to get into your pants. So don't feel bad that you ordered me to kill him." Eugene said. "Besides, ever thinking of leaving a message for Axton? You can leave it at the PO Box of Wam Bam Island, since he's going to be partying there for a while with his other vault hunter friends."

"What for? Clearly, he is doing well over there and doesn't need me reminding him of his past life in Dahl. Nor does he need reminding of me." Sarah said with a slightly sad tone.

"Man, that's harsh. Don't beat yourself up on it. You clearly divorced his ass in order to save his life. And you would go all the way to ask me a favor in order to save him again. Clearly, you want him again." Eugene said slyly.

"Eugene!" Sarah snapped.

"Heh, you know I'm right, girl. Besides, I'm not going through all this trouble just to have you NOT letting Axton know that you practically saved his life. So get to it. Try to write something fluffy and romantic, like 'I still miss you, baby' or "Wanna bang sometime?'." Eugene joked.

"*Sigh* fine. I'll leave him a message, if it will get you off my back." Sarah said annoyingly. "By the way, it's getting harder and harder to talk to you in secret, with the corporate vault hunt going on and all, so I won't be contacting you for a while."

"Heh, fine by me. I don't want you to be constantly on my ass anyway." Eugene replied.

"Goodbye Eugene. And … thank you." Sarah finally said before hanging up.

Eugene is now standing idly in the cargo bay with a brief moment of silence. Then he broke the silence.

"*Sigh* Girl, when would you ever admit your true feelings to Axton?" Eugene said to himself as he shakes his head slowly. "I just don't get women sometimes."

As he finishes standing idly, he walks out of the cargo bay and proceed to go to the eatery to get something to eat.

* * *

At the eatery, the chef is yet again cooking something that admittedly smells kinda good. Brandon, Mama Jaws, Camtrap, Patrick, Xiao Lan, and the cameraman are all at the eatery enjoying each other's company. Mama Jaws seems to be tinkering with Camtrap's jetpack configurations with the cameraman watching over with a careful eye. Brandon, Patrick, and Xiao Lan are just sitting over at a table enjoying their morning cup of coffee.

"*Sigh* what am I going to do? How am I going to get out of this mess? Will I ever be able to see my wife and kids ever again?" Brandon muttered to himself with Patrick and Xiao Lan listening to him at the opposite side of the table.

"Oh don't worry. You'll do fine." Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness. "Worst comes to worst, you'll die and Mary will just have to remarry and have someone else take care of the kids."

Brandon could only put both palms on his face and sob at that idea.

"You are not the emotionally strong type, are you?" Patrick said with a low-brow stare.

"Are you kidding me?! I'm just a regular office guy trying to make a living at a desk job." Brandon said. "I don't think I could handle all this stress of being a badass vault hunter, even if my son thinks it's kind of cool."

"Wait, Brian really said that?" Xiao Lan said amazingly. "Well at least one of your family members tries to look on the bright side."

"Oh screw you, sis. Brian was always the hot-headed one trying to do things to annoy me." Brandon said "Abigail, being the oldest, thankfully is mature enough to help Mary look after things while I'm gone. Chloe is still just a baby, so I'm still kind of worried how she would turn out."

"Hmm, Abigail, Brian, and Chloe. Seems you like your childrens' names in an orderly alphabetical sense." Patrick noted.

"I know, right? When Mary was just pregnant with Abigail, I wanted to give her a Chinese name, like our mom gave me. But noooo, Brandon insist on naming her himself." Xiao Lan said.

"Oh, like you are any good with names. Maybe when you actually get married and have children, you'll have your chance … which I think is unlikely." Brandon countered as he took a sip of his coffee.

"What did you say?!" Xiao Lan snapped.

"Alright! We're finally done!" Mama Jaws yelled as she was finally done fixing Camtrap's jetpack unit. She then picks up Camtrap and proceeds to throw it across the eatery. "Atta go, robot!"

Instead of crashing into the tables, the Camtrap recovered in midair using its jetpack and is now hovering gracefully over Brandon's table.

"Alright! I did it! I finally able to fly!" Camtrap said delightedly as it hovers across the eatery without bumping into stuff. "Thank you, bandit mama. You are the best!"

"Heh, no problem. Any tinkering or jury-rigging you need, just ask ol' Mama Jaws." Mama Jaws said proudly. Later on, Kazuki, Selena, and K.C. just entered the eatery, seeing the now-gracefully hovering Camtrap. "Hey, Hyerion b*tch, eat your heart out."

"Hmph, big deal. I can do that in my sleep." Selena remarked.

"Oh really?! You want to say that again, b*tch?" Mama Jaws snapped with a clenched fist, clearly pissed that the Hyperion specialist isn't impressed with her work.

"Hmm, not bad!" K.C. said while observing the hovering robot. "Though it's missing the most important ingredient of them all: the capability of creating EXPLOSIONS! Mama Jaws! Attach rocket launchers on this thing."

"Umm, this isn't a robot made for combat. So, no rocket launchers." the cameraman said to K.C.

"Aww…that is so not EXTREME!" K.C. whined loudly.

"Alright, enough with the arguing already. Time for some breakfast." Monty said with cowboy hat off and apron on. "Tell me what you wanna eat and I will try my best to make it."

"Stir-fry human kidneys!" Mama Jaws said with a grin.

"Bacon sprinkled with gunpowder!" K.C. yelled with an even wider grin.

"A bagel with cream cheese." Brandon said with a low-brow stare.

Both Mama Jaws and K.C. turn their heads to look at Brandon like he's crazy.

"What?" Brandon inquired. "Unlike you people, I prefer to eat something normal."

"Well, unfortunately, we don't have any human body parts for any of the cannibals out there and I'm pretty sure you couldn't cook gunpowder without blowing up the whole kitchen." Monty casually considered, which made both Mama Jaws and K.C. a bit disappointed. "However, I do have an entire skag that I was going to cook for you fellas. Big enough to have meat for both breakfast and lunch. How about I make some skag-meat skewers for ya instead."

"Eh, I guess that will have to do." Mama Jaws said.

"Whatever it tastes like, it better be EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly.

"Hmm, skag meat, huh? Never tried it before. Is it safe to eat?" Brandon nervously considered.

"Oh, for once can you stop being such a pussy?" Xiao Lan encouraged. "You are going to be on Pandora for a while, and people here eat stuff like this all the time. How about this? If you are willing to give it a try, I'll try one as well."

"I'll have one as well. I'm always interested in the cowboy's skills in the culinary arts." Patrick added.

"Oh alright, I'll have one skag skewer, please." Brandon ordered.

"Me too. I'll have one." the cameraman said.

"Alright then. One skag skewer for each of you." Monty said as he proceeds to prepare the meal. He takes out the oven-roasted skag from the oven and placed it on the table. Then he skillfully slices the pieces of meat off of the skag and skewers them along with pieces of cut vegetables. Then he prepares them on a grill and sprinkles some spices and dabs them with some sauce as he grills them.

As Mama Jaws, K.C. Brandon, Patrick, Xiao Lan, and the cameraman looked intriguingly at the cowboy doing his cooking, Selena and Kazuki was sitting at a far- away table, eating their breakfast that came from the food generator. As Selena and Kazuki were sitting quietly while they eat, Selena couldn't help but look at how all of the people on this ship are being too friendly with each other.

"This is wrong." Selena said to break the silence.

"What do you mean?" Kazuki asked.

"They weren't supposed to be friends. We are all enemies when it comes to finding this vault. Why would they even be sitting together and chatting with each other like they were friends?" Selena said.

Kazuki look over at the group that were all being friendly as they wait for Monty's awesome cooking. It is true. They are all acting like they are good friends or even family, even though they were supposed to be competitors. It felt strange and a bit ironic in a sense, since half of the time, she hardly felt she belong in her own family to begin with.

"Maybe just because we are all competitors of finding a vault, doesn't mean we can't be friends. Companionship seems to find a way when different people live together in an airship for so long." Kazuki replied. "Perhaps you could make friends along this journey as well."

Selena suddenly turn her attention from the group to Kazuki, as if thinking what she said was preposterous. Kazuki was slightly stunned by Selena's sudden glare at her.

"I do not intend to make friends on this event. Never have. Never will be." Selena said as she finishes her breakfast and proceeds to exit the eatery. But before she exits, she turns to Kazuki and say, "My advice for you is to do the same as I. You can never know who you true enemies will be."

Kazuki watches Selena exit the eatery and then stares at the group patiently waiting for their meals to be made by the cowboy chef. The cowboy chef hands them the skewers and they all eat with joy and laughter, as if the skewers were really tasty. Kazuki continues to ponder upon what Selena said as she also finishes her meal and exits the eatery.

**Author's Note:****Yep, so it's not a totally humorous chapter, but it got some slice-of-life moments here and there to cool things down before the real action and fun stuff starts.**

**Also, what is your favorite type of breakfast? Leave a review and let me know. I personally like me some waffles, with chocolate syrup, blueberries, and whipped cream. Yeah…..(drools uncontrollably)…**


	17. Under Attack

Chapter 17: Under Attack

It's been a couple of days since the vault hunters came back from their vacation on Wam Bam Island. It is daylight in Sanctuary, where everything is relatively peaceful. Well as peaceful as Pandora allows it to be. There will always be something violent and chaotic creeping from somewhere now and again, but not this time. This time, there is surely going to be change for the good around here. At least that's what a certain siren who is now leading a ragtag organization was hoping for.

Lilith was now at the balcony of the Crimson Raiders HQ, pondering about the events of the raid of the Helios space station a couple of months back. Though it was successful in keeping Hyperion out of Pandora for a while, it was met at a surprisingly peaceful end, due to the negotiation from a certain person … Jeffery Blake.

_It was pure chaos inside the Helios station. In a good way. Because every now and again, you need a little bit of chaos to get things running. Take Hyperion for example. They have been causing so much misery to the people of Pandora since Handsome Jack took over. Now that Handsome Jack is dead, Hyperion is just a final push away from finally releasing it dictatorial grasp on the planet. This raid on Helios station is that final push._

_Lilith, Mordecai, Brick, Tina, Axton, Maya, Salvador, Zero, Gaige, and Krieg, are all kicking ass left and right as they shoot down Hyperion combat engineers and loaders who are stupid enough to come across them. After all that is done, they finally reached their final destination: the president's office. Lilith takes lead as she opens the door to the office and enters with the rest of the vault hunters. Everything is slightly dark with only one side of the room light by moonlight as there is a huge wall window at the opposite side of the entrance where you can get a great view of Pandora from space. _

_As they enter the room, Lilith finds a couple of people already inside, but only two are really worth noticing: a blonde-haired woman in an advanced Hyperion battle suit who is pointing a Hyperion SMG at the intruding group of vault hunters, and Jeffery Blake himself. The others were just regular combat engineers and soldiers trying to hold their ground inside the big and dimly lit office._

_"__Hello, Lilith, Brick, and Mordecai. It's been too long." Jeffery Blake said calmly._

_"__Jeffery Blake." Lillith sneered with eyes narrowing at the man standing in front of him. _

_"__Wait, you know this guy?" Gaige interrupted._

_"__Long story." Lilith said._

_"__It wasn't that long, actually. I hired the original four vault hunters to do a job and they did it. It was to take out a certain robot and prevent it from rising up in a revolution, if I recall." Jeffery Blake explained._

_"__Enough of your games, Blake. You know why we're here. We want Hyperion off of Pandora. Now." Lilith warned._

_"__Of course. We will be happy to get off of this wretched planet as soon as possible." Jeffery Blake said calmly._

_There was a pause before anyone said anything, due to the surprise of his statement._

_"__Well, that was easy." Gaige remarked._

_"__Perhaps too easy. What's the catch?" Lilith asked._

_"__There is no catch. You see, Handsome Jack may have taken over Hyperion and use it to cause you all such misery. But he is simply not what Hyperion could have been. Ever since he died, I have taken over as president and had been working my best to fix what Handsome Jack has wronged." Jeffery Blake said, trying to act innocent._

_"__Bullsh*t! Handsome Jack is a bastard douche raised by the devil, and Hyperion is no different." Lilith said angrily._

_"__Handsome Jack is the prince of kindness and serenity! He reads books to children every night and puts them to sleep!" the blonde-haired woman in the battle-suit yelled out suddenly and she is about to charge her laser gauntlet and pointed at Lilith. _

_"__What did you just say?" Lilith said angrily as she readies her phaseblast in a purple energy at the palm of her hands. That statement alone has made Lilith's blood boil in anger._

_"__Calm down, Selena. Put your weapons down. You guys as well. Put your weapons down." Jeffery Blake ordered his forces and they complied. Selena still maintains her angry glare at Lilith as Lilith had given the same glare to her. _

_"__My apologies, but you must have seen what it's like around here. We are all victims of Handsome Jack, Hyperion personnel included. We were all forced under his oppression to commit all the atrocities that he ordered. Beneath it all, we are all just regular men, with family to care for and desperate for our salaries and well as our lives." Jeffery Blake pleaded._

_Suddenly, Lilith flared up in anger and charges at Jeffery Blake, ready to kill him as she grabbed his collar and have her phaseblast hand is merely inches away from his face. _

_"__This does not justify what you people have done! You could have turned against Handsome Jack, yet you follow his every order! You people show no guilt towards your actions at all!" Lilith yelled angrily, clearly very emotional right now._

_"__Go ahead, then. Kill me." Jeffery Blake offered._

_This has surprised Lilith a little. This man was basically the right-hand man of Handsome Jack. He was by his side when all of the wrong was done on Pandora. Yet, this man simply allows Lilith to kill him that easily. Could he really have felt remorse over what he had done? Lilith as shaken a little as she starts to loosen her grip from his collar._

_"__What are you waiting for? Do it already." Jeffery Blake said._

_"__I … " Lilith as basically speechless. She couldn't kill a man that would willingly surrender himself like that, no matter how horrible he is. She finally relinquishes her hand from his collar as she backed away._

_"__You might think it is easy to disobey orders from a man such as Handsome Jack, but you have no idea. Take Selena for example." Jeffery Blake said as he put one hand on Selena's shoulder. "She once tries to go against Handsome Jack, back when she was still at the Hyperion task force, trying to uncover Handsome Jack's corruption towards the company. Handsome Jack caught her and brutally tortured her. All the horrible things Jack did to her have broken her psyche, causing her to only praise the man even though underneath it she hates him as much as you do. Her mental stability is no longer the same and we try everything we could to get her recovered from it. Regardless, she did make an efficient soldier, and so that is why she is here now, defending me from my would-be intruders."_

_"__Handsome Jack … gives candy … to … every baby … to make them … smile." Selena said as her angry face was twitching uncontrollably._

_Lilith now goes from being angry at the blonde-woman to feeling pity for her. All of the other vault hunters their weapon to pity Selena as well. _

_"__So you are really willing to leave? And never coming back?" Lilith asked Jeffery Blake._

_"__Oh, leaving, I'm sure I'll do. The operations on this planet are getting unprofitable anyhow. I need to rebuild this company from scratch and restore its image after what has happened." Jeffery Blake said. Lilith could only roll her eyes, highly doubting the corporate image could be restored after what had happened. "However, as for never coming back, I'm not sure about that."_

_"__What do you mean?" Lilith asked._

_"__Oh, haven't you heard? Corporations all over the galaxy are now going wild after hearing that Jack has opened a vault on Pandora. These corporations think it is now a lucrative opportunity as ever to come to Pandora and hunt down more vaults themselves. There will most likely be an intense amount of corporate conflict resulting from this. Pandora will most likely be a corporate war zone once the corporations all decided to come to Pandora at the same time competing with each other to find another vault. Wouldn't that be disastrous?" Jeffery Blake said._

_"__And you are going to be part of it?!" Lilith snapped at Jeffery Blake._

_"__Why, I do have to run a company, of course, and a company always moves to where there is profit to be made. Though when I do come back, it won't be to commit genocide or unethical experiments, I can assure you." Jeffery Blake countered._

_"__I don't think you get it. You are not welcome here. Hyperion is not welcome here." Lilith warned._

_"__Now, now, don't be so hasty to judge, for once the corporations come to Pandora to scavenge for the vault, Hyperion would be the least of your worries." Jeffery Blake said, trying to sound negotiable. "How about this? As a sign of good will, I am offering to give Sanctuary a shield. As for repaying what we have done to that city of course."_

_"__Hmph, no thanks. Last time we used Hyperion tech, we were left defenseless and almost blown to pieces by mortar fire. Never trusting Hyperion tech again." Lilith said angrily._

_"__Hmm, have it your way." Jeffery Blake said. "Now I promise you we will have the Helios space station and every Hyperion personnel off of this solar system within a month. Moving an entire space station isn't easy, you know. I hope we have come to an understanding. There would be no more attacks towards Hyperion facilities in the meantime? We promise we won't attack Sanctuary or cause any more trouble to the people on Pandora as well."_

_Lilith took a moment to consider this before saying "Fine. You got one month. Pack your stuff and go before I change my mind about killing you. And if you do come back, you are going to have to deal with me."_

_"__Lilith, are you sure about that?" Mordecai spoke up. "I don't trust him."_

_"__This isn't about trust. It's about not attacking further when your enemies have already surrendered." Lilith said sternly. "Come on, guys. Let's get out of here."_

_"__Awww, what?! I wanna blow something up, Sissy Lily!" Tina said._

_"__Tina … I know you hate Hyperion as much as we do, and I'm sure you're dying to blow up this space station sky high, but this isn't about war right now. It's about peace and keeping it." Lilith said softly as she kneels down and gently put a hand on Tina's shoulder. "Besides, if Hyperion tries to make a move again, you can bet your ass we'll make a fabulous counter-attack."_

_"__Mmmph … ok, whatever you say, Lily." Tina complied._

_"__Man, you talk like a true leader." Brick said._

_"__I'm sure if Roland was here, he'll be proud of you." Mordecai added._

_"__Come on, guys, let's go." Lilith said as the group of vault hunters proceeds to exit the room and get off of the space station._

_"__You hear that, Blake?! One wrong move from you and you won't hear the end of us! We will prevail! Down with the system!" Gaige yelled as she exits the room along with the rest of the vault hunters._

Lilith now snaps back into reality when a voice asked for her name.

"Lilith?" Mordercai said as he enters the balcony where Lilith is. "Lilith, you there?"

"Sorry, Mordecai. Just thinking about something. What's up?" Lilith responded.

"Lilith, you need to see this." Mordecai said urgently.

* * *

"*Sigh* This is boring. Nothing's happening right now. What the hell?" Gaige said annoyingly.

Currently, the six vault hunters are at Moxxi's bar hanging out. Zero is discussing hunting strategies with Hammerlock. Brick and Salvador were at a table arm-wrestling (Btw, if you want to know who the winner is, I'm only going to tell you the loser: it's the table). Maya was reading a book as she is sitting with Axton, Gaige, and Krieg were by the stools drinking and looking bored.

"Well, currently we got no missions, so let's just say we are going through a dry period." Axton said dryly.

"What about the vaults all over the galaxy? Aren't we supposed to be looking for them by now?" Gaige said.

"Well, first of all, we don't have a ship to get off this planet yet." Maya responded. "Second of all, according to the vault key map, there is still one more vault on Pandora that needs to be found. Lilith reckons that we find that vault first before heading out to find the others."

"Then why aren't we heading there and finding it yet?" Gaige said with arms raised into the air.

"Because we still don't know where it is. The key only reveals how many vaults are on each planet, but not the specific location of the vault on the planet." Axton answered. "In order to figure it out, Tannis needs to decipher the information from the vault key, which she said is going to take a while."

"Then what about getting a shield for Sanctuary? Don't we need that as well?" Gaige said.

"Well, remember Karima from Overlook. Turns out she is an expert shield maker, and is willing to build a shield for Sanctuary." Maya added. "Unfortunately, if you haven't already noticed, Sanctuary is a flying city, so making a shield for it is going to be a bit more difficult than making a shield for a regular town. Hence, it's going to take more time."

"How come I don't know any of this?" Gaige said surprisingly.

"Well, you would have, if you weren't too busy updating your ECHOtube account and chatting online with your subscribers." Axton said mockingly.

"Hey! For your information, I've gotten over a million subscribers ever since my ECHO recordings hit the tube. They were really popular. You should have seen the number of views I've been getting. It's crazy!" Gaige said ecstatically.

"Wow, a million subscribers? That's impressive." Axton said sarcastically. "I think the guy who made a video on a cat playing a keyboard had only gotten like, what, 30 million subscribers?"

"Oh screw you!" Gaige snapped as she playfully punches Axton in the shoulder while Axton laughs.

[Hey, guys. Need you to come over to HQ.] Lilith suddenly called over at the ECHO transmitted to all the vault hunters. [We've got something to discuss.]

As Brick and Salvador were doing an arm wrestle, the table that they were arm-wrestling in suddenly broke and collapsed. Because when two really strong and manly men arm-wrestle, the table always breaks and collapses.

"What's up, Lilith?" Brick said over at his ECHO. "What are we discussing?"

[Just come over. We'll tell you once you're here.] Lilith said.

"Alright, vamonos, let's go." Salvador said excitedly.

"This isn't over." Brick said to Salvador, referring to their arm-wrestle match.

"Intriguing message/ I shall come to observe it/ See what's going on." Zero said.

"THE PIG SHALL CRY IN FEAR BECAUSE I SHALL EAT ITS BACON!" Krieg blabbled.

"Heck yeah! Finally time for some action!" Gaige said excitedly.

* * *

"So, what you got for us, Boss?" Gaige said excitedly.

"Ooh, don't call me boss. That makes me sound old." Lilith replied.

All of the vault hunters are currently in the Crimson Raiders HQ, now wanting to figure out what Lilith wants to tell them about.

"But you are our boss. In fact, you THE boss. You lead us to the Helios station and personally negotiated with that Blake guy to get the hell out of Pandora. I'd say that deserves some damn respect." Gaige said.

"I'm flattered. It was a group effort, really. Anyway, about the reason I ask you guys to come here for." Lilith said as she signals Mordecai to do something. "Mordecai, turn it on."

Mordecai complied and turn on a holographic projection of what looks like a show presented by two people. One was a handsome man wearing a suit and tie and glasses. Another was a pretty lady in a red female business wear. It seems like they are positioned at a table and holding onto pieces of paper as notes, sort of like news reporting.

[Welcome, people of Pandora. Today is a wonderful day, for we will soon land on Sanctuary with our corporate vault hunters to continue on our corporate vault hunt. I'm Patrick Anderson…] the male said sternly.

[… and I'm Xiao Lan Chen. As you all know, the corporate vault hunt is when each of the corporations that provides Pandora with weapons sends in a badass representative to hunt down this so called vault on Pandora. This vault hunt is set up so that the individual corporations would avoid having to go through costly corporate wars with each other in order to obtain the vault and its potentially tremendous resources. We are broadcasters sent by the Pangolin and Anshin corporations respectively to bring you updates in the progress of each of the corporate vault hunters as they travel across the land of Pandora to find the vault. For the sake of brand loyalty, each representative shall only carry and use weapon and gear manufactured by their respective corporation.] the female said cheerfully.

[Currently the whereabouts of the vault key, also known as the object that could contain the location of the vault, is known to reside within Sanctuary, held by a group known as the Crimson Raiders. How would the corporate vault hunters convince the Crimson Raiders to give them the location of the vault? Will there be a battle to see who gets to keep the vault key? Which of the corporate vault hunters will reach the vault first? Who would emerge victorious in finding and claiming the vault as their own? You'll have to continue tuning in to find out.] Patrick said.

[We, as broadcasters, will do our best to keep you updated on the current actions of the corporate vault hunters. Currently, they are all traveling by airship heading to Sanctuary right now. We will be arriving soon. But until then, this is Patrick and Xiao Lan signing out … MOTHERF*CKERS!] Xiao Lan said as she flipped the bird towards the camera at the end.

[Was that really necessary?] Patrick said as he facepalmed.

[What? I was trying to connect with the audience. Not all of them are classy people like you and me. Know what I'm saying, bro?] Xiao Lan aid as she is throwing gang signs left and right with her hands.

[Please stop that. It doesn't suit you.] Patrick said with a low-brow stare and a sweat-drop.

[Mmm … okay.] Xiao Lan said with a cute and childlike voice. [Oh, but maybe if I do a cutesy impression, maybe that will attract more viewers.]

[*Sigh*…] Patrick said while rubbing his forehead.

The holograph transmission has ended. Everyone in the room was now dumbfounded at what they saw.

"The transmission was just being broadcasted this morning. Seems like they will be arriving in a couple of hours at most." Mordecai said.

"What?! A corporate vault hunt? What the heck is this? Some sort of joke?" Gaige snapped.

"Apparently not/ The transmission clearly states/ What we don't want heard." Zero said.

"That's right, people. If we are going to be hunting the last vault on this planet, we are going to have competitors of the corporate variety." Lilith said.

"Corporate vault hunters, huh? Well, that's a first. What these corporations usually do is to just send out an army to extract resources out of a planet." Axton pointed out. "Now, they are only sending representatives? And one from each corporation? Whoever they are sending has got to be some big-shot who won't take no for an answer. Definitely not a pushover."

"Do we even know specifically who these people are?" Maya asked. "I mean, if we're going to compete with them in hunting the vault, we've got to know at least have some information in what they're capable of, right?"

"Well there was a live ECHO show interviewing each individual vault hunter. Unfortunately, none of us were able to watch it because we are so busy doing other things." Mordecai pointed out. "Because of copyright issues, the interview episodes won't be free to download for a couple of months. I'll try to look through the ECHOnet for illegal downloads and see what I can find. No promises, though."

"Screw that! They say they are going to be here today at any moment now. It's too late for that." Brick countered. "I'd say whoever they are and whatever firepower they bring, let them come. My fists are hungry."

"So are my guns! They are dying to spit out them bullets to tear down our enemies!" Salvador roared.

"Yeah! Deathtrap and I are going to rip them apart!" Gaige added loudly. "Let them come at us! We'll be ready!"

"WALMART SHALL CRUMBLE UNDER MY MEAT BICYCLE!" Krieg blabbled.

"Corporate vault hunters?/ They won't stand a chance against/ Our awesome team." Zero added.

"Well, haven't had a good fight in a while. I'd say let's do this." Axton said confidently.

"Well, we simply couldn't let them take the vault key from us, now can we?" Maya said.

"Of course not! So in the next few hours I want you all to prepare for them to come." Lilith ordered. "Expect for anything to happen."

"Got it!" everyone yelled.

Suddenly, an ECHO transmission just arrived at the Crimson Raiders HQ. It's from Overlook. Lilith activates the ECHO to see what the matter is.

"Yeah, Karima, what's up?" Lilith answered.

[Hey, Lilith! I've got some bad news! Our town is being attacked!] Karima said urgently over at the other line. You can hear gunfire and people screaming in the background.

Everyone in the room was suddenly shocked at this development.

"Is it bandits?" Lilith asked.

[No, I don't think so! Seems to be military soldiers of some sort! Wearing full-on body armor! Colored red and black! Looks similar to what your Crimson Raiders are wearing, only much more advanced!] Karima described.

Lilith, Mordecai, and Brick are shocked to hear the description. Clearly only one company would have soldiers wearing this type of armor.

"Atlas." Lilith deducted, eyes narrowing with anger. "Don't worry! We'll send help to you as soon as possible!"

[Well, I'll appreciate it if you hurry it up!] Karima urged. [The people here are under heavy fire here! We'll try to hold them back as far as we could! Hurry!]

After that the transmission from Overlook ended. Suddenly another person came up to the stairs of the Crimson HQ, gasping for air as he or she rushes into the room that all of the vault hunters are in. It was Moxxi. Scooter was closely following behind her.

"Sugar! Honey! You've got to help me! She's all I've had!" Moxxi said urgently, with tears coming out of her eyes.

"Woah, woah, slow down, Moxxi. What's going on?" Lilith said while trying to hold on to Moxxi, arms to arms.

"Ellie! She's in trouble! Said she is suddenly under attack by a group of soldiers heading into her garage!" Moxxi said.

"Yeah, them soldiers has some weird-ass futuristic space armor colored red n' black. Or at least that's what I heard from Ellie. She ECHO'ed us a while ago telling us to send help." Scooter added.

"What? Atlas is after Ellie, too? Why would they do that?" Lilith said shockingly.

"Please, sugar! Please help her! Do whatever you can to make sure she's alive and well! I wouldn't think what I would do if I lose her…." Moxxi pleaded while sobbing painfully. Her tears are clearly ruining her make-up.

"Don't worry. We'll send help to Ellie right away." Lilith said.

Suddenly another ECHO transmission just came through the Crimson Raiders HQ again. This time, it's from Tundra Express.

"Ugh, Tina, this better be important!" Lilith snapped.

[Uh, I'm pretty sure being shot at by a group of soldiers counts as important.] Tina said over at the other end of the line. [These sons of b*tches won't stop FIRING AT ME! I'm holding these suckas as best as I could, But I'm gonna need some wicked-ass backup. Know what I'm saying, girl.]

"Wait, are those soldiers wearing red and black armor?" Lilith asked.

[Shoot dawg! How did you know?! You psychic or something. That's AMAZING!] Tina playfully said, despite of her current situation. [Anyway, I'm gonna leave right now! Gonna blow these b*tches up so high, they be flying to the MOON! Hurry up with the backup, Lily! 'K, Bye!] With that, the transmission ended.

"Sh*t, they send soldiers after Tina as well!" Lilith snapped.

"Why would they attack any of them? And all at the same time?" Maya deducted. "Clearly, this is too much of a coincidence."

"Doesn't matter." Lilith said urgently. "We are saving these people."

"Alright, Lilith. Who saves who and where do we go?" Mordecai asked.

"Alright. Here's what we are going to do. We split up and take out these soldiers in three groups." Lilith ordered. "Zero and Salvador, you take Overlook. Maya and Krieg, you go to Ellie's. Axton and Gaige, I need you to be with Tina. Mordecai and Brick, I need you to stay here to protect Sanctuary in case Atlas has the nerve to come attack us. As for me … I'm going to Tina as well."

"Wait, hold up. Lilith, you need to stay here." Mordecai suggested.

"What? Look, Mordecai, this isn't a discussion. I've already lost Roland, I'm not taking my chances to losing Tina as well." Lilith countered.

"What about you, Lilith? You are our leader. If we lose you, we're never gonna find another leader like you. It's better to play it safe." Mordecai said.

"Mordy's right. Besides, Tina's in good hands. We already got two badass vault hunters going after her." Brick added.

"I may not like that brat, but I sure as hell would put my life on the line to save her. Don't you worry." Axton said.

"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" Gaige added excitedly. "She's got her bis sister Gaige looking after her. She's gonna be alright. Those Atlas soldiers are going down!"

"*Sigh* Alright." Lilith agreed hesitantly. "Be sure to save her. Be sure to save everyone. Now, all of you, move it!"

"Yes, ma'am!" everyone said as they proceed to head out to their respective locations fending off Atlas soldiers.

"*Sigh* Hope they are going to be alright." Lilith muttered to herself.


	18. The Crimson Knights

Chapter 18: The Crimson Knights

It was a peaceful day at the town of Overlook ... aside from all the shooting that is currently going on right now. On one side there is the mysterious group of soldiers who broke into Overlook's shields and just randomly shooting everything that moves. Just like everyone said, they wear military armor colored in red-and-black. However, compared to the old Crimson Lance armor, theirs is much sleeker and rounded on the edges. They also have seemingly more advanced weaponry and technology, which indicates that they are well-funded. Currently, it seems that their goal was just to shoot and attempt to piss off anybody around town. No negotiations. No mercy. No bullsh*t.

On the other side, there are the civilians trying to seek for cover from the random and sudden barrage of gunfire. Some of the civilians even returned fire, despite of not usually trained to handle firearms. (I mean, seriously. These guys have storm trooper aiming, if you get what I mean.) Karima, as basically the town's leader, was making sure everyone get to safety and healing the wounded until back-up arrives. And just like that, back-up _has_ arrived, in the form of a haiku-obsessed ninja assassin and a steroid-junkie midget.

Zero and Salvador arrived just in time for the party. As soon as they came out of the fast-travel station in the center of town, they're already on their way to kick some asses.

"You shall all fall down/ As my blade pierce through your gut/ Heads will roll as well." Zero began saying to himself as he dashes forward into the midst of battle.

"COME AT ME, PUTAS!" Salvador yelled as he charges in as well.

Zero starts off by putting up a Decepti0n decoy that is pretending to parry bullets with its sword when actually the real one is sneaking up behind enemy soldiers' line to slice them up with its sword. One by one, the enemies drop like flies against the badass sword-wielding assassin.

On the other side of the town, Salvador is kicking up a notch by dual-wielding his infamous spin guns: Vladof brand in one hand for great fire rate, and Bandit brand in another hand for large magazine size. As he mows down the groups of enemies, they were practically wetting their pants as they couldn't possibly match the firepower of the raging gunzerker.

"Alright, we're done here. Get ready to pull out." one of the soldiers ordered.

"Hehe, that's what she said." another soldier responded.

"Ugh, seriously? Anyway, lieutenant's orders. Retreat!" the first soldier ordered.

As if they purposely kept their engagement short, the mysterious group of soldiers retreated as sudden as they arrive, escaping onto the miniature air shuttle that they came in. Zero and Salvador were curious as to why they left so sudden, but at least Overlook is safe for now.

"Where are they going?/ Leaving as soon as they came./ Something is not right." Zero said curiously.

"What a shame. And I thought I was going to have some fun." Salvador disappointingly added.

"Took you guys long enough." Karima said as she approaches the two vault hunters. "Only two of you? What happened to the others?"

"Others are busy/ Same group attacking others/ They went as back-up" Zero answered.

"Yeah, it seems like Overlook was not the only place that is being attacked. The rest are helping at other places." Salvador clarified.

"Other places are being attacked as well? What is going on here?" Karima questioned.

"These soldiers. Why do they attack your town? What do they want?" Salvador asked.

"I don't know. They just came over here by their shuttle all of a sudden and start shooting anyone that lives here. They didn't even demand us to do anything. Just shooting at us and beating us up." Karima said curiously. "I think one of them shot me in the shoulder. It was a flesh would, though. I'll be alright."

"This is strange indeed/ Soldiers shoot without clear goal/ What was their purpose?" Zero said as a question mark flashes at the face of his helmet.

"Well, whatever it was, we won't be able to find it out now. Wonder if the others have any luck figuring this out." Salvador added.

* * *

"Come at me, you skag-lickin sumb*tches! Yee-haw!" Ellie yelled with adrenaline-pumped joy.

Meanwhile, Ellie was riding a bandit technical as she was using the turret guns mounted on it to fend off the incoming soldiers. As Ellie was doing circles in her garage trying to dodge the gunfire, the soldiers struggle to keep her pinned down. Then some wise-ass soldier decided that it's time to pull the rocket launcher and fire at the technical. The technical took the hit and is now smoking and slightly on fire, indicating that it couldn't take another hit. Ellie promptly jumped out of the bandit technical before it was blown to smithereens.

"Sh*t, you're gonna pay for that! Ya hear me?!" Ellie yelled and she tries to get back up and remains steadfast.

Just as Ellie was about to become totally vulnerable to soldier fire, the fast-travel station near her garage suddenly lit up and out came the sexy-ass siren and the bloodthirsty psycho.

"YOU'RE GONNA WATCH ME GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS!" Krieg yelled out hiss battle cry.

"Krieg, go after them! I'll support you while I check in Ellie!" Maya ordered.

Krieg nodded to Maya's command. Krieg took point as he simply charges into the group of soldier with nothing but his trusty buzzaxe, hoping to go for a melee rampage. Maya help with the support by phaselocking one of the soldiers, causing all of the soldiers around it to converge at that point, making Krieg's job of butchering the soldiers much easier.

"Ellie, are you okay?" Maya said with urgent concern as she moves towards the mechanic.

"I'm alright. Just a few bruises here and there. Nothing major. Just glad that you guys came along when you did." Ellie said as she and Maya simultaneously fire their guns onto the oncoming soldiers. "How come there only two of ya'll? Ain't there supposed to be more vault hunters coming?"

"The others are preoccupied at the moment. Turns out you aren't the only one these soldiers are attacking. They've attacked Overlook and Tina's place as well." Maya said over the sound of intense gunfire.

"Well, that's just darn great. Why the hell would they even shoot at us? What did we ever do to them?" Ellie asked loudly.

"Why don't we ask them?" Maya said as she phaselock one of the soldiers. "Krieg, fight the others! I need to interrogate this one!"

"PUPPETEER SAYS, PINOCCHIO FOLLOWS!" Krieg yelled as he rampages towards the rest of the soldiers, leaving Maya with one of the soldiers within his grasp.

Suddenly, one of the other soldiers still in the middle of fighting ordered the rest of the group of soldiers "Ok, we stayed long enough! Let's pull out!"

"But what about that guy?!" another soldier said, indicating the soldier being phaselocked and proceed to be interrogated.

"Leave him! We've got our orders!" the leader soldier said.

As soon as all of the soldiers regroup, they went into their shuttle parked outside of Ellie's garage and proceed to take off and escape the place, leaving the single soldier at the hands of the pissed-off vault hunters. Maya, Krieg, and Ellie watched confusingly as those soldiers took off after a brief fight. Maya now focuses her attention at the currently-phaselocked soldier.

"Start talking!" Maya said as she tightens her phaselock at the soldier. "Why are you attacking us?! What do you want?!"

"Uh, I can't tell you. I'll be dead before I even tell you." the soldier said, with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"What do you mean?" Maya asked.

"Oh no. My head is hurting. It is happening! AAHHH!" the soldier said as he screamed in pain while still under Maya's phaselock.

"What are you talking about? What's happening?" Maya said as she finally released her phaselock on the man, leaving the man falling down on the ground, squirming in pain. Something is not right here, and Ellie do not intend to get close to the solider in pain. Maya, however, was desperately seeking for answers and so moved in closer to the soldier.

"Maya, look out!" Ellie yelled trying to get Maya away from the soldier.

"PRETTY LADY!" Krieg yelled as he jumped in to push Maya away from the soldier, leaving them both on the ground.

Turns out his instincts were right. The soldier's head suddenly expanded for a brief second before it abruptly exploded, causing bits of gore to fly off in different directions. It wasn't a very big blast, but it's safer to not be within proximity of a guy with an exploding head. Maya, Krieg, and Ellie watched in shock as they now find the corpse of a solider with his head blown up, lying down in the middle of Ellie's garage.

"Well, there goes the chance of asking questions." Ellie said.

"*Sigh* Thanks, Krieg." Maya said as they both get up from the ground. "Whoever's behind this really don't want us to find out about it." Then Maya carefully move towards the soldier's corpse to analyze it further, against the better judgement of Ellie and Krieg, who would much rather stay away from the body. "Judging by the way the head is blown up, I'm guessing it was the work of some sort of explosive device implanted inside the man's head, triggered remotely or through some sort of thought process within the host's brain. Interesting."

"Well, whatever this guy comes from, it wouldn't help us knowing now that he's dead." Ellie remarked.

"*Sigh* you're right. Hope the other guys have better luck than we did." Maya said dissapointingly.

* * *

"Bring it on, you MOTHERHUMPAS! Eat crumpets, drink tea and CRAP DYNAMITE! That's what I always say! You haters got nothin' on me, YO!" Tina yelled.

Tina is currently inside her cave in the Tundra Express, where she is at a standstill with the soldiers taking cover at the entrance as they exchange fire. Well, technically, the soldiers are firing bullets and Tina is throwing sticks of dynamite at them. Even with one tiny little girl against a massive army, they still couldn't get through the cave. Who knew a 13 year-old could be such a badass motherf*cker.

On the outer edge of Tundra Express lies the fast-travel station where the anarchistic mechromancer and the charismatic commando just came out of. As soon as their feet touch solid ground, they made a mad dash towards Tina's base, hoping to reach there as soon as possible.

"Man, why couldn't she live somewhere closer to the fast-travel station?" Gaige said annoyingly as they ran with guns toting.

"How should I know? That girl's got the mind of a schizophrenic mixed with ADHD with a dash of bipolar. Or in simpler terms, she's you but three years younger." Axton joked.

"Hey! I'll show you who's a schizophrenic mixed with ADHD with a dash of bipolar once we're done here!" Gaige snapped at Axton.

"Now's not the time, psychotic mechromancer." Axton replied.

"Why you little-" Gaige said angrily.

"No, really! Now's not the time! Watch out for varkids, 12 o'clock!" Axton warned loudly as he proceeds to shoot down the swarm of varkids in front of him.

"ANARCHY!" Gaige yelled, joining the gunfire to mow down the swarm. Gaige's fire is much less accurate and yet much more devastating up close, like she is taking out her anger on those varkids. "How do you like that, huh?! EAT LEAD AND DIE SCREAMING! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hey, save it for when we get to the soldiers." Axton advised.

A couple moments later they were finally here, seeing a bunch of soldiers at the entrance of the cave, trying to flush out a maniacal teenage demolitions expert. The soldiers then turn their back and notice the two vault hunters and they are ready to engage in battle.

"Say hello to my lady friend!" Axton yelled as he pulled out and deploy his Sabre turret on to the ground in front of him. The turret spawns both guns and rockets as it systematically guns down the soldiers.

"Go get'em, boy!" Gaige yelled as she summons her faithful companion Deathtrap. Deathtrap charges forward and claws its way through multiple enemy soldiers while at the same time releases its electric eye-beam onto those soldiers too far away from its claws.

As both vault hunters were distracting the group of soldiers, Tina came out of the cave and joins the fight by repeatedly throwing various sorts of explosives at the enemy soldiers.

"Hey! What took you guys so long?! You had to go to the bathroom or something?!" Tina asked loudly over the sound of gunfire and explosions.

"Well, we would have been here quicker if the commando here wasn't being such a charming guy!" Gaige yelled sarcastically as she hip-fires her SMG at the soldiers.

"Hey, don't blame me for everything! I wasn't slowing anyone down!" Axton yelled as he fire precise burst of bullets right at the enemies' heads.

"Save it for later, suckas!" Tina yelled. "Looks like they are about to retreat!"

Just like she said, the soldiers seems to be retreating as they are moving away from the three badass vault hunters and in towards a shuttle parked nearby. They then proceed to fly away, thereby cutting the battle short.

"Wh…what?! They left just like that?! Without putting much of a fight?! What kind of pussies are they?!" Gaige snapped angrily with wide eyes staring at the flown-away shuttle.

"They are the softest and moistest kind of pussy, girl. The ones that are meant to be repeatedly banged." Tina replied with finesse. Then she flailed a gang sign up in the air towards the shuttle with one hand and yelled "SUCK IT, BI-ATCH!"

"Nah, this isn't that simple." Axton said, adding a little doubt towards this situation. "Something's not right here. Tina, did they say anything or do anything besides attacking you?"

"Pfft, nah, they were just all of a sudden up in my grill when me and my Fluffybutts are all having a tea party. How rude are they to interrupt a tea party, know what I'm saying, son? They were like 'B*tch, I'm gonna cap your ass', and I was like 'Damn, son, you're ruining my TEA PARTY! NO CRUMPETS FOR YOU!" Tina said with the best impression of Samuel L. Jackson you can ever get out of a 13 year-old girl.

"So basically, they just start shooting at you and didn't say much else." Axton deducted.

"Well, the good news is you're safe. Lilith was so worried about you." Gaige said as she ruffled Tina's hair affectionately. "_I _was so worried about you."

"Aww…" Tina said, seemingly touched by the loving emotion. Immediately, she moves in to hug Gaige lovingly. Gaige replied with her own tight and loving hug. Axton saw what happened and couldn't help but smile.

"Alright. It's time to get back to Sanctuary." Axton said. "Tina, you're coming with us, just to be safe. We'll see what the others have found out. Hope they have better luck than we did at figuring out what the hell is going on."

* * *

Lilith was waiting besides Mordecai and Brick in the Crimson Raiders HQ. It has only been a couple of minutes and Lilith is already getting impatient. However, before anyone could say anything, suddenly something drastic happens.

A blue wave of energy, coming from an unknown source washes all over Pandora. That wave is made up of massive amounts of the blue and boxy particles that you often see in digistruct technology or when you go through a fast-travel station. As the wave washes through Sanctuary, it shook the flying city a little. However, it is not enough to simulate that of a sustained earthquake, but more of a brief tremor. Lilith had felt it, and so does everyone in Sanctuary.

"What was that?" Mordecai spoke up, a little shocked at what just happened.

"Hell if I know." Brick responded.

"Guys, I've got a bad feeling about this." Lilith said with a worrying tone. After a brief moment of pondering, she finally said, "That's it. I'm going to see Tina." With that, she exits the Crimson Raiders HQ.

"Lilith, wait ..." Mordecai said as he chases Lilith down the stairwell of the building, with Brick walking along with him.

Before Lilith could say anything back to Mordecai, Lilith was rendered speechless by a magnificent sight. As she exited out the building, she saw above her a fleet of airships. There must have been at least a dozen of them, all colored red and black, similar to that of the soldiers described were attacking the people of Pandora left and right. One of the airships appears to be the one that holds central command since it's bigger and more majestic than the other airships. The central airship came down to the side of Sanctuary, near the area in front of Scooter's garage, and parked there. Then it releases a stairwell and out comes a strange-looking man.

Lilith, Mordecai, Brick, along with most of the other people in Sanctuary went to the location of where the man was dropped off. The man who stands in front of them couldn't be more than 21 years old, making him look like quite the young adult. He has black hair in a bowl haircut and wears large round eyeglasses. He is fairly skinny, medium height, and has peach-tan skin. He wears a neat vest-and-tie combo with a red sweater-like vest over a black undershirt with a red tie, along with dark-red pants and loafers. Along with that, he seems to have a laid-back yet neat attitude towards him. When he walks, he walks straight and proper, aside from the two hands that were casually stuffed in his pants pockets. Also, it seems like he never smiles, for he looks at Lilith and the group with a moderately serious face. Alongside this mysterious young man were some soldiers who came out of the ship, all wearing red-and-black armor, just like the mysterious group of attackers. Judging by the way they stand relative to this young man, it seems that he is a very important person, worthy of their protection.

"Who the f*ck are you?" Lilith said intimidatingly with a glare at the young man.

The young man took one hand to adjust his glasses through the bridge of his nose and said. "A wise man once said 'If you wish to know the name of another, it's only polite that you give your own name first.' " His voice was straightforward and stern, like that of an intellectual.

"Fine." Lilith irritatingly said. "The name's Lilith, leader of the Crimson Raiders."

"Lilith, it's nice to meet you." the young man said. "My name is Sheldon, lieutenant of Atlas's newly formed private military known as the Crimson Knights."

**Lieutenant Sheldon : Follows the wise man**

"The Crimson Knights? Atlas?!" Lilith questioned with slight shock.

"Yes, pretty extravagant name, isn't it?" Sheldon said calmly. "I believe that you formed your little group the Crimson Raiders mainly on the fact that you went against the Crimson Lance a couple of years ago. The Crimson Lance back then was quite a proud and well-funded private military of the Atlas corporation. So it was a surprise to see that it could be brought down easily by merely four people of various skills whose common goal was to find treasure within what's known as the vault. Sadly to say, the Crimson Lance no longer exist because of these four measly vault hunters, and so, with Atlas now under new management, a new form of military is needed to fill in the gap, as you may say. So here I am, as the commander of an entire army of soldiers under my command."

Lilith and the others took a couple of seconds to absorb all of this information. Since when did Atlas go under new management? And now they've got a new military to replace the Crimson Lance? Everything seems to be like five years ago when Lilith and the other vault hunters were encountering the Crimson Lance for the first time.

"Are you with the corporate vault hunt? I thought it was supposed to be one representative each." Lilith asked.

"The corporate vault hunt? Oh please. We at the Atlas corporation do not associate with the general corporate group that maintains this useless event. We are simply here on our own terms." Sheldon said, adjusting his glasses again and still maintaining its face without a smile. "Surely, this may result in Atlas going on a war with the rest of the corporations, but I think my Crimson Knights can sufficiently handle it. You see, the lance is merely a weapon. But the holder of the weapon, the knight, shall be its true power."

"Enough with the bullsh*t." Lilith snapped, clearly impatient. "What do you want?"

"Lilith, if you have been paying attention to the details like a real intellectual would have, you'd know what I want." Sheldon said calmly as he paused for a few seconds before he spoke again. "I want the vault key."

Lilith's eyes narrowed in anger as her hands are slightly glowing in purple energy once she heard his demand. "In your dreams." she sneered as she is in a half-ready battle position.

"I was afraid you were going to say that." Sheldon said calmly, as if expecting this to happen. "But, if you think about it, that is not a wise decision. I've got a fleet of battle-ready airships and an army of elite soldiers ready of bring this wondrous city to the ground if needed to. This wouldn't be so difficult if you would just comply with my request."

"You are willing to bring down Sanctuary just to get the vault key?!" Brick snapped. "Screw that! I'm gonna tear down these airships and all your puny soldiers with my fists."

"Brick's right!" Mordecai added. "You think a fleet of airships and some soldiers is going to scare us? You are sadly mistaken." Talon, Mordecai's new companion, was right at his shoulder, letting out a call in agreement.

"That's right, you bastard. Once the other vault hunters come back, you're gonna have a tough fight in your hands." Lilith challenged.

"I highly doubt you vault hunter associates will be coming back anytime soon." Sheldon said calmly.

"What do you mean?" Lilith said.

"Haven't you noticed why your friends and associates are simultaneously attacked at the same time by my soldiers?" Sheldon said.

"I knew that Atlas has something to do with it! So you are the one who made the call." Lilith sneered, now even angrier.

"Yes, I have. And naturally, when your friend or associate gets attacked by some unknown and overwhelming force, you'll be inclined to help." Sheldon said.

"Of course I would! These people are under my protection! You screw with them, you screw with me." Lilith said angrily.

"But there are so many people you need protecting. And so little reinforcements you could offer. So you have to split up. And now a majority of your forces aren't here to help you fend off a threat like me." Sheldon said calmly.

"That's when you are wrong. Even when we split up, we are could still totally handle your group of soldiers." Lilith said confidently.

"Ahh, but directly confronting them into a fight was never part of my strategy." Sheldon said calmly. "You see, your vault hunters aren't coming back to Sanctuary because of another reason."

"What do you me-" Lilith said, before being cut off by an ECHO transmission. She answered the call, realizing it's from Overlook.

"What is it, Karima? Is everything alright?" Lilith asked.

[Well, yes, the citizens of Overlook are safe thanks to you. But there is another problem.] Karima said with concern. [The fast-travel station is not working.]

Lilith's eyes were wide open with shock upon hearing this. The fast-travel station is practically the sole-means to get back to Sanctuary. For that to not work would be disastrous, especially in the situation right now.

"Wait, are you serious? The fast-travel station is not working?! How is that even possible?!" Lilith said shockingly.

[Karima speaks truth/ Fast-travel seems inactive/ No means to get back] Zero said from the other side of the line.

[Yeah, it's true, senora. It's like it's powered down or something. None of the things we do could fix it.] Salvador said agitatedly.

Lilith suddenly glared at Sheldon, knowing that he' somehow behind this. Lilith then proceed to phasewalk all the way to the fast-travel station in Sanctuary to verify something. Once she was there, she attempt to use the station, but it just doesn't seem to work. The interface is not responding with its usual set of lights and holograms. It's like everything just went dark. Lilith gets frustrated and then proceeds to ECHO someone else.

"Hey, Maya, It's Lilith. How's your situation there?" Lilith said urgently.

[Hey, Lilith. The soldiers were taken care of. Ellie's alright. One of the soldiers suddenly got his head blown off by some implant in his brain-] Maya said.

"Check the fast-travel station! Try to come back, now!" Lilith shouted.

[Wait, now?] Maya said.

"Just do it!" Lilith shouted again.

[Alright. If you say so ... hmm, something's not right here. The fast-travel station isn't working, for some reason.] Maya said.

"Sh*t, it's a trap! This is all a set-up!" Lilith shouted through the ECHO as she walks back to Mordecai and the others, preparing to confront Sheldon.

[Wait, what do you mean it's a set-up? What's going on?] Maya said worryingly.

"Atlas just came by Sanctuary and asks me to hand over the vault key, otherwise he's going to blow Sanctuary out of the sky!" Lilith explained loudly as she is still walking.

[Wait, what?!] Maya aid shockingly.

"Can't talk to you right now! Got to call Axton and Gaige! Just try to find some way back to Sanctuary! Goodbye!" Lilith said in a hurried manner. She then calls Axton on her ECHO.

[ ... God damn it! Hey, Lilith, you wouldn't believe the luck we had right now.] Axton said over at the other line.

"Is the fast-travel station not working over there?" Lilith asked quickly.

[Hey, how did you know? I swear, I've got nothing to do with it. It's probably Gaige's fault.] Axton joked.

[Hey! What do you mean it's _my_ fault?! I'm the tech genius right here! If anything, it should have been your fault! You must have input the wrong code or something to make it all messed up!] Gaige snapped at Axton.

[Stop ARGUING and everyone shall have free chocolate chip cookies, FOR LIFE!] Tina said whimsically.

"Guys, stop arguing. Gaige, Axton, find some way to get back to Sanctuary. We are being attacked." Lilith said as she is finally back to the spot in front of Scooter's garage, facing Sheldon.

[Holy crap! I knew this was a trap! They totally pulled a rug under us!] Gaige shouted.

[Hang in there, boss! We'll be there as soon as we can!] Axton said.

"Alright. See you guys." Lilith said, finally ending the ECHO transmission.

"A neat trick, isn't it?" Sheldon said calmly. "That tremor you just felt a while ago, that was just a side effect of the 'trick' I used to disable the fast-travel system. It involves newly-developed Atlas technology and cost a lot of resources to put together. But it sure proved its worth. Suffice to say, they won't make it in time. Also, I doubt they will be of much help anyway. I simply go through the extra effort to separate you all because I don't take chances when it comes to developing a sound strategy to a battle. As a wise man once said 'One way to fight an army is to disperse the foot soldiers until you have the leader singled out and weak enough to be vulnerable to your every whim.' "

"You bastard ..." Lilith sneered at Sheldon.

"Say what you will. The choice is clear. The time is limited. I suggest you make your choice before I deploy a massive bombardment to your entire city in 1 minute." Sheldon said calmly as he adjusts his glasses yet again.

"Hmph, don't worry." Lilith said with eyes narrowing as purple energy flows out of her hands and her Siren wings spread wide open. "It won't take a minute for me to kill you." With that she proceeds to phasewalk and attempt to charge into Sheldon.


	19. Fighting Back

**Author's Note****: First of all, I'm sorry for not updating my fanfic for so long. It's because I am busy with school work and family and oh who am I kidding I was playing Borderlands The Pre-sequel. It's a ridiculously fun game, man! They got butt-slams! They got cryo weapons! THEY GOT MOTHERF*CKIN' LASERZ! It's like I'm addicted to it or something. Anyway, finally mustered all my will to finish this chapter, because I don't want to disappoint my fans, no matter what little fans I have. Made this chapter a bit longer than usual, so hope you enjoy.**

**Also, I may not be able to update as often as I usually would because PRE-SEQUEL, MOTHERF*CKER, PRE-SEQUEL! So yeah, if you enjoy the story so far, sorry in advance that it might take a little slower for me to write it. Maybe if I finish the game, I might update my fan-fic a bit faster and you get to enjoy it a bit better. Thanks for understanding, at least. **

**Oh, by the way. I tried to promote this fan-fic onto my other friends of Steam who played Borderlands 2. Too bad most of them aren't the reader-type, but it's worth a try. I'm always looking for more feedback, so as to improve my story's quality. If you have other friends that play Borderlands 2, be sure to share this fan-fic with them. Who knows? They might like it as well.**

Chapter 19: Fighting Back

Lilith charges into Sheldon and attempt a phaseblast, anticipating that she would instantly melt his brains with that blast. Instead, she felt that the blast was being blocked by something. Lilith looked in front of her to see something surprising. Sheldon suddenly digistructs a large red-and-black mechanical gauntlet to his right arm and use it to block the blast. The gauntlet was digistructed right from the get-go and wraps around Sheldon's arm almost perfectly. It's like a separate robot arm had been attached to the body of a young adult male.

"I've anticipated that you would do that. I've anticipated your every move." Sheldon said calmly as he is still blocking from Lilith's phaseblast. "Your chances of victory are unlikely."

"Shut up!" Lilith yelled as she breaks apart from the blast and was staggered a bit.

"Lilith, let me help you beat his ass!" Brick supportively yelled as he stands next to Lilith while facing Sheldon.

"Yeah, me too." Mordecai added. "He's making a big mistake of ever messing with the Crimson Raiders."

"The mistake was yours to make." Sheldon said to the Crimson Raiders before he then turn to his own troops and ordered. "Open fire!"

Just after the order was made, all of the Crimson Knight's airships from above Sanctuary start raining cannon fire onto the city below. The city was in chaos as everyone was screaming and tried to run for cover.

"Sh*t, Mordecai! Brick! Hold off the troops while I get these people to safety!" Lilith ordered over the sound of the explosions. She then phasewalk out of sight.

"Don't have to tell me twice! AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" Brick shouted as he goes in berserk mode and charges at Sheldon and his group of soldiers.

"Tethermen!" Sheldon said. Immediately, a group of soldiers lined up in front of him while holding a special type of two-handed gun. Using those guns, the soldiers all simultaneously fired at Brick. Instead of conventional bullets, it fired a light-blue stream of laser-like energy which attaches to Brick and instantly slows him down until it stops him in his tracks. As the tether-like beams are attached to Brick, he feels like he is moving through cement, each bit of movement using so much effort to do that it's basically impossible for him to even take one more step forward.

"Sh*t, Brick!" Mordecai yelled as he readies his sniper rifle to take a shot at one of the tethermen.

Sheldon notices Mordecai making his move and order his troops, "Release the houndbots." Immediately, another group of soldiers from the sides each throws down a digistruct device that instantly transforms into some sort of robotic dog, of which the size and shape is similar to that of typical police dogs. The 'houndbots', as you call them, were mostly black, with red near their feet and in their eyes, which makes them look ever so menacing. The pack of houndbots immediately charge into Mordecai and attempt to assault the sniper, trying to prevent him from supporting the berserker.

"Damn it! Go, Talon!" Mordecai said as he threw his vicious hunting bird into the pack of houndbots to attack and distract them.

"Shotgunners, shoot down the bird! Riflemen, release suppressive fire at Mordecai, make sure he doesn't get a chance to shoot!" Sheldon ordered with strategic precision.

Just as Sheldon had anticipated, shotguns do wonders on fast and flying enemies like birds and rakk, so it's no surprise that Talon went down in only a few hits by the group of shotgunners.

"Talon!" Mordecai said as he tries to fetch the poor bird from midair. As soon as he got Talon within his arms, he is immediately tackled by the pack of houndbots. Mordecai then pull out his revolver and knife and tries to take them down close-range, but close-range fighting simply isn't Mordecai's strong suit. Mordecai manages to take down a couple of houndbots before escaping from the rest as the suppressive fire almost drains all of his shields. Mordecai thinks he needs to back away at a distance and safely take down the houndbots one by one at mid-range so they don't overwhelm him. So Mordecai escapes into the alleyways of Sanctuary, with the houndbots aggressively following. Mordecai knows he won't be able to support Brick by temporarily leaving, but he has no choice.

"Riflemen! Shotgunners! Follow Mordecai! Shoot to kill! Snipers! Be on the main ship and defend this position!" Sheldon ordered. The group of soldiers followed the lieutenant's every order by the word. Currently, a group of soldiers are heading to chase after Mordecai along with the houndbots while the other group is holding snipers and at the windows of the main ship, defending the position. Meanwhile, Brick is still being held down by the tethermen as Sheldon calmly looks at him with indifference.

"Damn it! What did you do to me?!" Brick shouted at Sheldon. "I could barely move!"

"Oh it's simple, really. Recently-developed Atlas technology at its finest. Although, even if I tell you the basic physical principles of it, I doubt you would understand." Sheldon said as he walks near him. "What matters was its purpose, for it serves me well. Now … I'm going to obtain the vault key and you are going to help me convince your leader to hand it over."

* * *

Meanwhile, the people of Sanctuary are all scrambling from the explosive death that rains from above. One person is about to be blasted into tiny bits and pieces, but is saved when Lilith uses her phasewalk to move him out of the way from the explosions and save him.

"Thank you, Lilith." the man said.

"Don't mention it. Now go and find cover!" Lilith replied.

The man complied and went into a building, hoping to avoid the cannon blasts from above. Lilith then sees Mordecai having trouble with a pack of robotic dogs and a group of soldiers chasing after him. Lilith phasewalk into the midst and blasted the houndbots out of the way, saving Mordecai. Lilith and Mordecai then took cover behind one of the walls from the soldiers as they do some cover-shooting from their position. Mordecai was wielding his sniper-rifle, taking down the soldiers with pinpoint accuracy while Lilith was taking potshots from behind cover.

"Where's Brick?" Lilith asked.

"He's being trapped by that lieutenant. I tried to help him, but I was getting pinned down by those dogs and soldiers." Mordecai answered.

Lilith is now taking a moment to think of a strategy of how to defeat this threat. "Well, change of plans. I'll go help Brick. You get me some Eridium." Lilith ordered.

"Got it!" Mordecai replied.

They then go out of cover and went separate ways. Lilith phasewalked and charges into the soldiers with several phaseblasts while Mordecai head to the Crimson Raiders HQ to get some Eridium for Lilith. After finishing off the soldiers, Lilith could feel herself drained and could hardly muster another phasewalk in such a short time, so she ran instead. As Lilith runs towards where Brick is, she can hear Brick let out a painful scream at the far distance. Lilith then runs faster.

* * *

Sheldon transforms his large gauntlet into some sort of excessively large electrically-charged stun gun. Arcs of electricity were visible through the two short prods sticking out of his gauntlet. With that, he proceeds to shock the immobilized Brick into submission, causing Brick to let out a torturous scream of pain. Despite of this, Brick is still conscious and seems to be only more pissed off.

"Painful, isn't it? Not many people could withstand 10,000 volts of electricity. That shock I just gave you would have killed a lesser man." Sheldon calmly said.

"Stay the hell away from him, you motherf*cker!" Lilith yelled as she saw Sheldon torturing Brick with the stun gauntlet at a far distance. Lilith ran towards the two as she took out her pistol to shoot at the soldiers tethering Brick with their specialized beam weapons. However, before she was able to hit anything, her leg was shot by a sniper from the airship, causing her to drop to her knees. Before the sniper could shoot again, Lilith musters all she could to do another phasewalk to escape the sniper's line of sight and simultaneously get closer to Sheldon and Brick. Sheldon, however, already sees it coming and orders yet another step in his plan of action.

"Release the caltrops!" Sheldon ordered. Immediately, the tethermen surrounding Sheldon all throws down special grenades that release a purple and pink spiky-shaped aura of energy onto the ground around them, covering the whole area. Lilith phasewalks into this aura and immediately reverts back to her normal state. She then stops in her tracks and drops down to her knees again as the aura is somehow weakening her Siren abilities and causes her intense stinging pain. As Lilith was on her knees, struggling to stand up, Sheldon sees it as an opportunity to strike. He jumps over Brick and lunges at Lilith, grabbing her by the neck with the gauntlet hand and lifting her up, causing her to choke.

"I told you, haven't I?" Sheldon intimidatingly said. "I've planned for every move that you'll make, every card that you have up your sleeve. There is no way for you to win. The only way for you to get out of this is to hand over the vault key or die." With that he threw Lilith to the side as he proudly walks towards her while she is lying submissively on the ground. "So … what will it be?"

* * *

"So what will it be, fool?" Eugene said smugly.

Eugene, Monty, Mama Jaws, and K.C. Dynamo are all currently at the eatery playing poker at a small table. There is really little else they can do being stuck in this airship, so they might as well play poker. However, given that they are vault hunters, this won't be a typical poker game.

"What do you think?! All in, mother*cker! For the universe starts out in a bang, I shall not start with a whimper!" K.C. loudly proclaimed, as if he is way too confident in his cards.

"You didn't even look at your cards." Monty noted.

"A TRUE man does not need to know his future in order to live it! Neither does he need to know what cards he holds to bet all his money on it! Nor does he need to know what he eats until he craps it out of his awesome and manly butthole!" K.C. loudly said, with no sign of embarrassment at all.

"I, on the other hand, always know exactly what I'm eating," Mama Jaws said as she is licking her lips. "Since I can always see the scared little faces when I bite into them flesh. Those sacks of meatbags just screams while I tear their skin with my teeth. Makes it more satisfying when I eat it, ya know? Plus, at least I know which animal it came from, unlike you guys who are eating sausages and burgers that you brought from some fancy-pancy supermarket like a bunch of savages. Who knows what they put in those things that they claimed to be 'real' meat?"

"Remind me to always keep your meals fresh and alive then." Monty said jokingly.

"And also human! How many times do I have to tell ya that?" Mama Jaws snapped back.

"Well, apparently, most humans don't want to be eaten alive and will try their hardest to stay that way." Monty said casually. "Also, despite of being a master chef, I'm not an expert in cooking human meat… thankfully."

"*Chuckles*, I like how this conversation went from poker to casual cannibalism." Eugene said. "Makes me think back of my days as a soldier for Dahl. Killing hundreds, not knowing or caring whether they may deserve it or not. But a mission is a mission. And being the best means you sometimes shut down the part of your brain that produces self-doubt. Works fine for me, though."

"Anyway, I like how this kid thinks, so I'm gonna go all in as well." Mama Jaws said confidently. "Besides, it's not like he really has a good hand."

"Stop doubting my awesome manliness!" K.C. said loudly. "It is capable of piercing through the limits of the sky and transcending God himself! I'm the manliest of the manliest! Awesomest of the awesomest! Most explosive of the most explosive personalities! And most of all, THE MOST EXTREME OF THE MOST EXTREME! So I'm as sure as a motherf*cker right now that my cards are going to top all of yours!"

"Piercing through the heavens and transcending God himself huh?" Eugene said while scratching his head. "Where have I heard those phrases before?"

"Sounds like you're talking about your wang-a-lang." Mama Jaws added. "Which is kind of compensating for the fact that you haven't reached puberty yet."

"GRRR! SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT MY PUBES, MAN!" K.C. snapped furiously as his face is red with embarrassment. "I've already got enough sh*t from that banshee in the disguise of a reporter woman! My pubes shall not be compared to that of an unmanly bushy tail of a bunny!"

"Gahahaha! Seriously, it's just a blast hangin' out with this kid." Mama Jaws said joyfully. "I doubt any other 14 year-old can be messed with in the same way."

"Yeah, speaking of which, since you're only 14, aren't you supposed to be at school?" Monty asked with mild concern.

"What the heck is a school?" Mama Jaws said without any sense of sarcasm.

Monty and Eugene just looked at her like she's crazy.

"What? I seriously don't know what a school is." Mama Jaws repeated.

"Well, it's the sort of place that you learn about stuff." Monty replied.

"Like making guns, eating fresh human meat, and having sex with midgets?" Mama Jaws said.

"Uh, not really." Eugene added. "It's more of a place to learn about math and spelling. Those sorts of things."

"Pfft, sounds boring as f*ck. Glad I didn't go to one." Mama Jaws said with indifference.

"I know right?! School is for pre-pubescent pizza-face globs of fat and stink who wears glasses and gets erections from two-dimensional big-eyed species of the opposite gender! Which is totally not me!" K.C. said loudly. "That is aside from the fact that I totally flashed my pubes in front of the entire classroom on one occasion! The entire educational system just needs a little bit of awesome manliness every now and again, and this is just one of the ways to do them."

The other three poker-playing vault hunters all took a moment to think of the things K.C. just said.

"Wait, you said you just stand in front of the entire classroom, showing everyone your d*ck?" Eugene asked intriguingly.

"Among other things!" K.C. said loudly without the slightest sense of embarrassment. "That was not even one of my most EXTREME actions of manliness! For in order to truly be extreme, one must involve the use of … EXPLOOOOOOOOOSIONS! That's why in chemistry class, I totally made a bomb that completely blew up the entire classroom! Without even reading the textbook! No one was hurt though, unless you count their pride, knowing they will never be able to best me at the art of explosions! I am unmatched in terms of creating explosive chemistry! EXTREME!"

"Gosh darn! What happened after you blew up the place?" Monty said intriguingly.

"What do you think?! I got expelled and my dad had to pay for all the damages! I got out of that worthless excuse of an education in order to pursue my AWESOME and EXTREME career in bomb-making!" K.C. said loudly. "My dad works for Torgue as a demolitions expert so I decided to get a job from there, but they frickin' denied me! Said that they don't hire hyperactive and psychotic teenagers! Shows what they know! Dealing with explosives is the very definition of hyperactive and psychotic!"

"But you did get hired by Torgue in the end." Monty said. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be here representing as a vault hunter for Torgue."

"Well, yeah! I totally made an awesome and explosive set-up just so they would hire me! But that story is for another time! Anyway, your move, cowboy!" K.C. said. "What's it gonna be?!"

"Well, I'm gonna fold. Wouldn't take the risk of going up against you guys, even if it's just a poker game." Monty said humbly as he turns his cards face down.

"Heh, pretty safe choice for a cowboy." Eugene said smugly. "In a world of dangerous situations, you sometimes need to take the risk." He then pushes all his chips into the betting pile. "I'm going all in. Let's see what cards you got."

"Alright. I got … a two pair. Two tens and two jacks. And also one 8 of hearts." Mama Jaws said.

"Why is the 8 of hearts bitten off?" Monty said as he looked curiously at the card that looks like it has a piece of its corner chewed off.

"What? I was hungry." Mama Jaws said casually.

"You sure have an appetite, ma'am. It'll be hard to keep up with it in my meals." Monty said.

"ALRIGHT! Time for my hand to be shown! I will be the greatest hand of them all! The most AWESOME, the most EXTREME, and the most RADICAL of all the poker hands mankind has ever invented!" K.C. said loudly as he demonstrates more of his erratic hand gestures.

"That hand already exists. It's called a royal straight flush." Eugene said. "Given the three cards that we know you already have, that is impossible for you to get."

"Ha! I shall royally flush that hand straight to the toilet, for my hand shall be even MORE extreme than that! Ladies and manly men, allow me to show you, THE NEMESIS POKER HAND!" K.C. said loudly as he flexes his muscles in different positions. He dynamically reveals his two hidden cards. One of them was a joker card and another was a blank card with a drawn Batman symbol on it. All of the other players couldn't help but sweat-dropped after looking at K.C. poker hand.

"You used the joker card in your hand?" Monty said as he facepalmed.

"Also, what's with the Batman symbol?" Eugene added. "Don't tell me just because you have a card with Batman symbol on it, that makes you automatically win."

"Of course not! Even though Batman is probably the greatest comic book hero of all time, he wouldn't be complete without his greatest nemesis, the Joker!" K.C. proclaimed loudly. "The two combined creates the most awesome and extreme of all hero-villain relationships, which is why when you put the two together in the same poker hand, you create an extraordinary bend in the fabric of reality that it automatically makes you the winner of this entire poker game! FOLLOWING RULES BE DAMNED!"

"*Chuckles* alright, I give up." Eugene said as he holds his hands up defensively. "There is no way I'm going to beat his logic at that. You can keep all the fake poker chips to yourself."

"AAALLLRRRIIIGGGHHHTTT!" K.C. yelled victoriously as he pumps both his fists up in the air as a sign of victory.

Suddenly, the loudspeaker let out the voice of the unlikeable cameraman again. "Hey there everyone. We are about to land on Sanctuary in a couple of minutes. Before we leave, everyone's got to meet up at the cockpit for a quick round-up. I repeat. Everyone needs to meet up at the cockpit for a quick round-up. It is mandatory."

"Yeah, f*ck you too, cameraman. We'll be there soon." Mama Jaws said.

"Glad to be of service." the cameraman replied sarcastically over at the loudspeaker.

"So, everyone ready for what's about to come next? I know I am." Eugene said smugly as he took out his comb to comb his short afro hair.

"Heck MOTHERF*CKIN' yeah! I was bored as f*ck in this sorry excuse of an airship! Glad to finally see some action!" K.C. said loudly. "Off to the MOTHERF*CKIN' cockpit! To the EXTREME!"

* * *

"Well, this is extremely perplexing." Patrick said with mild concern.

"Hm-hm, no need to worry. I'm sure the corporate board will have some idea pulled out of their stinkin' asses to resolve this." Xiao Lan said with as much polite cheerfulness as possible, though you always wonder if she was being sarcastic or not.

Patrick, Xiao Lan, the cameraman and Camtrap are currently in the cockpit as they are waiting for the corporate vault hunters to arrive. The cameraman and Camtrap are working at the airship's control while Patrick and Xiao Lan were discussing on an issue that they just recently found out. Safe to say, the corporate vault hunters won't like what the broadcasters are about to reveal.

One by one, the corporate vault hunters all gather around the cockpit awaiting the broadcasters to speak. Some are more impatient than others.

"EXTREME ANTICIPATION!" K.C. enters the cockpit door with an acrobatic flip and landed in a split before spin-kicking his way back to standing and proceed to flex his muscles in different positions later on. "For the universe starts with a BANG, I shall start this SUPER AWESOME MANLY EXTREME vault hunt with an elaborate GUITAR SOLO!" With that, it's as if he literally pulled out a guitar out of his pants, he proceeds to use it to play a wicked-ass guitar solo, head-banging and all that. Because when you are as awesome as K.C. Dynamo, your pants are capable of forming an entirely new pocket dimension.

"It's nice of you to favor the loud and crude rock'n'roll style of music." Kazuki said elegantly as she adjusts her glasses "I, however, prefer classical music."

"I prefer country." Monty added as he chews on his stalk of wheat. "And it is not because I'm a walking wild-western stereotype. Country music has a fine tune to it if you listen to it long enough."

"Heh, hardcore gangsta rap is all on me." Eugene said smugly as he combs his hair delicately. "It'll get your heart pumpin' and nerves sparkin' up like no other."

"You and ya'll hoity-toity music." Mama Jaws said as she was lying down one of the seats in the cockpit at a casual manner. "I prefer to just tie up a butt-naked bandit, hung him up, whip him a couple of times, listen to him screaming, and that'll be my type of music."

"Ugh, can we just not talk about music and instead focus on what my sister and her boyfriend has to say about the vault hunt?" Brandon said and he facepalmed.

"Hey! Patrick and I are not together!" Xiao Lan snapped with cheeks slightly red with embarrassment.

"Sure you're not. We all know that you secretly want his d*ck." Mama Jaws refuted. "Sucking the succulent juices out of it and all. So nasty…"

"*Cough* Anyway, we are not here to discuss such trivial matters." Patrick readjusts his glasses to recover from the vault hunter's teasing. "Evidentially, there are something else you vault hunters should be more concerned about."

"What do you mean?" Selena said coldly as she lies against the back with arms crossed.

"Well, apparently, we are not the only corporations after the vault." Xiao Lan said.

"However, since this establishment of a vault hunt is for the main purpose of preventing corporate wars, any of the smaller corporations who even dare go after the vaults on their own would have to suffer the possible repercussions of going against this particular group of corporations collectively." Patrick explained. "Therefore, in theory, none of the corporations outside of the corporate board should be participating in the vault hunt outside of the rules we have established."

"So you're saying, corporations either have enough power to join the club and be part of this event, or they don't have enough power, and might as well stay the hell away from Pandora." Oleg reiterated.

"Yes. But there is one exception, though." Xiao Lan said. "One corporation who has enough power to attain the status of being one of the corporate board, yet chose to stay out of it and instead go about finding the vault the conventional way. Despite of the corporate board's warnings."

"And which corporation would that be?" Eugene said intriguingly.

Patrick and Xiao Lan looked at each other before turning back to the vault hunters and have Patrick said, "Atlas."

Suddenly, every one of the vault hunters looked shocked and intrigued at what they have just found. One corporation is willing to essentially go rogue and go against the wrath of the corporate board just to risk finding the vault themselves. This had made one of the vault hunters reacted more exaggeratedly than the others.

"Holy skagsuck! Those Atlas sons of b*tches are back?!" Mama Jaws snapped as she got out of her seat. "What nerve they have to be coming back to Pandora! I'm gonna rip them to shreds and feed them to my midgets! Then make them poop it out and let the skags eat the poop!"

"Sounds like you have a history with Atlas." Monty said to Mama Jaws while raising an eyebrow.

"You damn right I have!" Mama Jaws replied angrily. "They attacked my home a couple of times and killed lots of my men, as a way to rid all the bandits on Pandora so they could more easily find the vault a couple of years ago! Good thing they left with their tails between their pussies a while back. How dare they show up again on Pandora?! This time to hunt down another vault, no less!"

"Well, so we've got competition who doesn't like playing by the rules." Eugene said smugly as he relaxingly put both hands behind his head. "This is going to be interesting."

"That's not the most interesting part." Patrick said with a slight hint of fear. "According to our sources, Atlas might have already landed on Sanctuary right now."

"What?!" the vault hunters collectively said.

"Show them the video, Camtrap." Xiao Lan said.

"Yes, ma'am." Camtrap complied. After Camtrap pushed some buttons on the console of the airship cockpit, a hologram popped down from the top of the cockpit, showing a video of some sort. It showed the entire event of how Lilith and the Crimson Raiders encountered Lieutenant Sheldon, who wants to claim the vault key for Atlas. Lilith refused and a fight broke out. The Atlas airships are now raining cannon fire at the city and people are dying left and right. The Crimson Raiders are in trouble. The corporate vault hunters who watched the video was awestruck by the turn of events.

"My God…" Monty whispered under his breath.

"This video was captured just a couple of minutes ago.' the cameraman said. "I was using a long-distance optical triangulation system to do some surveillance on Sanctuary before we were going to land there. We are only a couple miles away because I don't want the Atlas airships to detect us yet. Didn't expect this to happen. Didn't expect Atlas to show up before we do."

"So … broadcasters. Does the rules of this event prevent us from fighting Atlas?" Monty said, this time with a sense of anger in his voice.

"Currently, the corporate board is undecided. They just watched the surveillance a while ago and are currently in the process of making a decision." Patrick said.

"SCREW THAT WITH A POWER DRILL!" K.C. yelled out loud. "These people are being killed but those Atlas assholes! We need to save them! NOW! TO THE EXTREME!"

"The hyperactive teenager is right." Kazuki added. "I couldn't just stand here watching these people get slaughtered. It is not my way of honor. I insist that we act now."

"Yeah! Also, they want to take the vault key!" Mama Jaws added angrily. "I'll be damned if they get their skag-throat fingerin' hands on it! NO WAY IN HECK!"

"Um …guys?" Brandon said nervously. "I don't mean to sound like a heartless guy, but how are we going to fight them? There are only a handful of us capable of fighting and an army of those guys, wearing combat power-suits and armed to the teeth. Maybe we should … I don't know … sit this one out?"

Just then, Brandon immediately got punched in the face by K.C., knocking Brandon to the ground. Then K.C. hold Brandon back up by grabbing his collar and looked at him in the eyes. "I dare you to say that one more time! ONE MORE TIME, YOU SPINELESS PIECE OF SH*T!" K.C. yelled at Brandon.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm not a vault hunting badass like you are. I'm just an office guy. I just don't want to die. I mean, I'm not going out there with those odds." Brandon whimpered as he let out tears of fear and panic from his eyes.

"Hey…HEY! Let him go, K.C." Monty said as he tries to break off the two. "It's his choice whether or not he wants to fight."

"It is also our choice on what we prioritize in fighting for." Selena said coldly.

"What do you mean?" K.C. said, quietly but angrily, as he slowly turns his gaze to Selena.

"If you think about it, we are not responsible for the lives of these people. They already have protection under the Crimson Raiders and it failed to protect them." Selena said analytically. "What we are responsible in doing is retrieving the vault key in order to figure out the location of the vault, which we are here to claim for our respective corporations. Anything else that is not required for us to do will just get in our way."

"Why you-" K.C said, about to beat the crap out of Selena for saying such heartless words, before being held back by Eugene.

"Woah there, kid. As much as I might sound like an asshole, I agree with her." Eugene said. "People die on Pandora all the time. There is no point in fighting for something other than ourselves. We need to keep our head in the game, know what I'm sayin'?"

"GRRRRRRR! I thought you were one of us! Now I wanna shove dynamite up your ass as well!" K.C. yelled at Eugene as he pointed a finger at him.

"Hey, stop the arguing, fellas. We shouldn't be fighting like this." Monty pleaded.

"You wrong, Jakobs. We are supposed to be fighting like this." Selena said coldly. "It is the nature of this vault hunting event."

"Listen, as much as I want to just get to the vault and get this over with, this is not the way I want it to be done." Monty persuaded. "And neither should you. Or any of you."

"Oh? And why is that?" Eugene asked.

"…Because of her." Monty said as she pointed to the holo-screen, at the pause-image of Lilith.

"The wretched woman who killed Handsome Jack. My sworn nemesis." Selena said with an angry glare.

"Yeah, and also perhaps the only way to open the vault." Monty added, causing all of the people in the cockpit to look at him intriguingly. "I've read the files on the vault key and Sirens and eridium and all that. The key won't work unless you have a siren charging it."

"In that case, I'll just kidnap her along with taking the vault key right out of Atlas's hands." Selena said with cold determination as she raises a hardened fist.

"Not if I could do anything about it, girl. I mean I don't take pride at myself being good at kidnapping, but in order to complete the mission and be the best of the best, I'm willing to do anything." Eugene said as he stared into Selena's glare.

"No! That's not what I meant. You just don't get it, do you?" Monty said. "It's difficult enough as it is trying fight the entire Atlas army just to obtain both of those things. Now you're saying you wanna make enemies with the Crimson Raiders as well?"

"What are you suggesting?" Selena said with eyes narrowing.

"I say, an enemy of an enemy is a friend. Since we cannot make friends with Atlas, because they are total assholes, we help the Crimson Raiders out with the Atlas takeover problem." Monty said with great detail. "Then we make a deal with the Raiders in helping out eliminating the Atlas threat altogether in exchange for them helping us find and open the vault. They are previously vault hunters, so I'm sure they have more experience than we do. Having them helping us will surely make the vault hunt quicker, don't you think?"

"I will NEVER work for the one who killed Handsome Jack. He is my beloved and he shall be avenged." Selena said with a glare.

"Heh, like I said, girl. Your obsession with that Jack-hole is through the roof." Eugene said, wedging into the conversation. "Relax with the Jack-thing because I think it is getting annoying. As for you, cowboy, are you suggesting that we work together? Cuz I'm sure as hell ain't no team player."

"Then don't think of it as a co-operation. Think of it as a challenge." Monty said.

"How so?" Eugene asked intriguingly.

"The one who kills the most Atlas soldiers wins." Monty said as his eyes narrow while staring at Eugene. "You said you were always the best of the best. Are you going to let a measly army of Atlas take you down?"

"Huh …" Eugene said. Eugene then took a couple of seconds to think of his decision. Then he said. "A'ight. I'm cool with that. I'll roll your way. Let this be a challenge between us two. I needed to flex my soldier muscles anyway."

"ME TOO! TO THE EXTREME! WITH FLAKED BACON AND MAPLE SYRUP ON TOP!" K.C. yelled out loud. "Any plan that involves kicking those Atlas bastards deserves the SUPER AWESOME EXTREME EXPLOSIVE approval of mine!"

"I'm with ya! These Atlas skagsuckers won't know what hit'em!" Mama Jaws enthusiastically added.

"If it means saving those people, you have my full support, Jakobs-san." Kazuki said with a polite bow.

"*Erhem*, Even though I might be a fat and lazy drunk, I cannot turn a blind eye on this atrocity." Oleg said as he got out of his seat and supportably padded Monty on the shoulder.

"Heh, well, I guess we don't even need a tie-breaker." Eugene said. "6 vs. 2. We are kicking the ass of one and saving the ass of another. Hoping the ass we're saving is a sweet ass."

"Ok, but first we need to strategize. Broadcasters, cameraman, Camtrap. Can you get us to Sanctuary without being noticed by the Atlas's airships?" Monty said, prompting the broadcasters and the cameraman to give worried faces.

"Are you sure about this?" the cameraman said. "You are all acting without the corporate board's permission. You guys might get punished for this."

Monty and his supportive group only give him the stare of determination.

"Of course, what was I saying? You guys are badasses; don't take orders from no one." the cameraman said. "Now as for the infiltration part-"

"It won't work. This airship is not built with a stealth system." Selena suddenly drops into the conversation. "Even if it did, the Atlas probably has advanced detection system to spot us from a mile away." Everyone looked at Selena and was amused at her sudden change of heart.

"Selena-san …" Kazuki muttered.

"Ahh, finally joining the conversation of wanting to kick Atlas' ass." Eugene said smugly.

"I'm living on this airship as well. If anything happens to it, we'll all be dead anyway." Selena said coldly. "I just don't want your stupid decisions affecting me."

"Heh, whatever you say, girl. But you're right." Eugene said. "You other companies may not know this due to your non-existent investment in airship technology, but I've been around, and there's a definitely a chance that those airships right there have some sort of airship detection system to prevent anyone from interrupting their little genocide session. In fact, I think it's safe to say that they plan for every contingency."

"I'd say SCREW STEALTH and charge directly in front, up in their grill! To the EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly.

"I highly doubt that would work." Kazuki pointed out. "There is a great possibility that the enemy has more firepower than us. Charging in head-on would be suicide."

"Heh, not if most of it is mainly focused on blowing up Sanctuary." Eugene stated. "If we could just ambush them quick and hard enough, it would give us the advantage."

"Agreed." Selena said. "And I know just the way to do it. This may be a long-shot, but it could work."

Just as the corporate vault hunters were discussing on a strategy to take down the Atlas army, Brandon could only sigh and facepalm as he get a grasp at how ridiculous this situation is.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm probably going to die here?" Brandon said dreadfully.

**Author's Note****: So yeah. "Piercing through the heavens and transcending God himself." If you've watched enough anime, you'll know where these quotes come from. In case you don't, "Piercing through the heaven" is spoken by Kamina from Gurren Lagann, and "transcending God himself" is spoken by Black Star from Soul Eater. I feel like I just had to add those two quotes because K.C. just has pretty much an ego that is the combination of those two put together. Lolz, its really fun writing K.C. .TO THE EXTREME!**


	20. Corporate Intervention

Chapter 20: Corporate Intervention

It has gotten so out of control. People are dying left and right as they seek for cover from the rain of fire that has descended upon them. It is like the Apocalypse upon Sanctuary. This incident is starting to seem way too familiar to the New Haven incident and Lilith didn't like it one bit. As Lilith struggles to get up from the repeated assaults ordered by the cunning Lieutenant Sheldon, she ponders if giving up was the better option.

"As the wise man says, giving up under an overwhelming battle does not make you a coward." Sheldon said calmly as he adjusts his glasses with his other unarmed hand while standing over a downed Lilith. " You may regret continue fighting as pointless lives would have been lost due to your rather … aggressive decision."

"Go to hell, you Jack imitator." Lilith growled angrily under her breath, loudly enough for Sheldon to hear. Sheldon was slightly surprised by Lilith' statement, for it states that Lilith is making an assumptive comparison between him and Pandora's most infamous genocidal tyrant.

"I believe you have it all wrong, Lilith." Sheldon said as he looked away coolly. "There is a difference between me and Handsome Jack. The one that is relevant for you to know is that I do not persist on attacking when my enemy has given up as long as the demands are met. Also, when the demands are not met … I can be even more ruthless than Jack."

With that, the gauntlet on Sheldon's right arm transforms into a large drill-like weapon, while resembling that of a knight's lance in terms of proportions. He then walks over to the tethered and immobilized Brick and proceed to thrust his lance-drill into Brick's stomach. Brick could only cry in pain as the process continues, prompting Lilith to be emotionally hurt as well seeing her friend being tortured like that.

"NOOO!" Lilith cried as she tried her hardest to get on her knees. However, she is simply too exhausted to do so, due to some strange effect with the caltrop fields that she encountered previously. She struggles and flails as she couldn't do anything to stop all of this, feeling ever so hopeless. After a while, Sheldon stops drilling and took out his gauntlet from Brick's insides. He then uses his free hand to adjust his glasses again for he had been doing it so often that it might as well be his signature pose of movement to show how terribly deadly and efficient he is.

"I've missed most of his more important organs, so he won't die immediately." Sheldon said calmly. "That said, it is wise for you to seek medical help for this brute. He is bleeding profusely and will doubtfully last more than a couple of minutes. You could get him help and save him, but not until you have dealt with me."

"You son of a b*tch! I'm gonna motherf*ckin kill you!" Lilith screamed at the top of her lungs. Her eyes were metaphorically on fire as she glares at the person who had committed such an atrocious act to her friend. That said, she is still too weak to get up on her knees to do anything. Sheldon could only lightly shake his head as he is getting slightly irritated at the siren's stubbornness.

"You have tried my patience, siren. Next, I'm going to permanently end your friend's life." Sheldon said with an undertone of anger behind his calm voice. He them proceed to raise Brick's head by the chin and was about to jab his gauntlet drill lance at his neck.

"Wait!" Lilith yelled desperately. As of right now, it pains her to admit it, but she had no choice. The life of her friend and the lives of people on Sanctuary depend on her decision. She's going to have to make a sacrifice one way or the other. "I'll … I'll give you the vault key. Just let Brick go. Let our people go. Please." Lilith gritted her teeth as she hesitantly agrees to Sheldon's demands. Once Sheldon has heard her decision, he retracted his gauntlet drill lance and let go of Brick as he looks at Lilith with a calm but smug expression on his face.

"Wise decision. Should have done so a long time ago." Sheldon said to Lilith before facing his own men and gave them orders. "Patch up the brute and keep him alive but restrained. This is an order." The tethermen quickly complied. They released the tether beams from the now-unconscious Brick as they inject him with specialized heath syringes that will keep him both sedated and healed at the same time. Afterwards, they reconnect their tethers to Brick one tether on each limb, to prevent him from moving.

Lilith finally had the energy to get up and proceed to ECHO her other friend about the situation. "Mordecai, the situation has changed." Lilith said with a grim voice. "Get me the vault key. I'm handing it to them."

[What? Are you crazy, Lil? We cannot simply hand them the only way to find other vaults throughout the galaxy.] Mordecai said outrageously over at the other side of the ECHO.

"We got no choice. They are going to kill Brick if I don't hand them the key. What am I supposed to do?" Lilith argued.

[What makes you so sure they wouldn't just kill us anyway once they have the vault key? Think reasonably, Lil. What would Roland do?] Mordecai said.

"Roland is dead!" Lilith yelled over at the ECHO. Those words trigger certain strong emotions among both of them. Lilith could hardly hold back when she said it. "Roland is gone, and I'm not about to let anyone else die today. Even if it means giving up the vault key. You understand?"

[ … Yes, Lil. I understand. I'll get the vault key to you.] Mordecai said with a low tone before ending the transmission. He then heavily sigh and he facepalmed and then slammed his fists out of anger onto a nearby table inside the Crimson Raider's HQ. He clenched his fists hard as he was thinking what Lilith must be going through right now. Being the leader of a ragtag organization is not easy. Sometimes, you have to make tough decisions. Mordecai knows that, since he had fought alongside Roland during his time at the Crimson Raiders and know what has to happen. It's not a matter of fighting the hardest, because your enemy will always find some way to fight harder. These choices sometimes had to be made, and this is one of those times. Mordecai then proceed to take the vault key out of the containment unit and take it to Lilith.

* * *

"So … um … *gulp* … what's the plan again?" Brandon asked nervously.

"Isn't it EXTREMELY obvious?! Step 1: Blow stuff up! Step 2: Stare at my MANLY muscles! Step 3: Eat LOTS of beef jerky! Step 4: Take a hard sh*t at our enemies' faces! Step 5: … DO AN AWESOME AIR GUITAR SOLO! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. replied loudly to Brandon.

As K.C. was briefing Brandon on the plan of theirs, all eight corporate vault hunters were at the opening cargo bay, accompanied by the two broadcasters. The group of corporate vault hunters were about to embark on probably the craziest and most extreme plan ever committed by man, and that is without counting that they are actually going to take their time to take a sh*t on their enemies' faces once they are done.

"But-but-but I never agreed to any of this. Why am I going with you guys? Can't I just stay here and maybe, you know, cheer you guys on or something?" Brandon nervously suggested.

"Sometimes I wonder how he has children, despite of having no balls." Xiao Lan said with her signature polite cheerfulness.

"Hey!" Brandon exclaimed, feeling offended by his older sister.

"Are you guys sure about this?" Patrick asked with concern. "This is a risky mission that you take upon yourselves. Not only will it be dangerous, there could be negative repercussions resulting from this."

"Patrick-san. My mind is set and my heart is follows without doubt. I do not wish to turn back now." Kazuki said with determination.

"Out of all the things I did while drunk, this would not be the craziest." Oleg added as he took a swig from his vodka bottle.

"I can't wait to bash those Atlas's skulls open and rip their limbs apart for coming to Pandora again! You ain't stopping me!" Mama Jaws added angrily while flailing her buzzwrench.

"Very well then. We wish you luck to your endeavors." Xiao Lan said with a polite smile and a light bow.

"Everyone. Stick to the plan and we should be all good. There is no room for error here. Now, let's go." Selena said as she is the first to jump off the airship.

"Heh, who's the one that came up with half of the plan anyway? Pfft, whatever, man … GERONIMO!" Eugene said as he followed Selena in jumping off the airship.

"Well, haven't gone sky-swimming in a while now. YEE-HAW!" Monty said as he followed.

"EXPLOSIVE CLIMATIC SKYDIVING! TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEEEME!" K.C. yelled as he followed up.

"Hot and spicy VAGINAS!" Mama Jaws yelled as she followed as well.

Kazuki and Oleg both said nothing as they jumped off, because you'd expect them to me more mature than that.

That leaves Brandon, still on the airship's cargo bay, unwilling to jump off. He has a nervous look on his face as he stares at the open skies from the position he is standing in right now.

"Yeah, I'm not going." Brandon said as he turns around and tries to go back to the inner-sections of the airship.

However, he was stopped by Xiao Lan, who stands in front on him and puts two hands gently on his shoulders. She then displays a warm but obviously devilish smile as she said, "Little brother, grow a pair." After she said those words, she immediately pushes Brandon off the airship and into the free-falling skies.

"Nonononono … NOOOOOO!" Brandon yelled as he fell. "I hope you never have children, you witch …"

Patrick was looking at this happening and could only look at Xiao Lan with a low-brow stare. Xiao Lan made eye contact with Patrick and only gave a warm smile.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He's got seven other vault hunters to look after him, after all." Xiao Lan said cheerfully.

"I highly doubt they'll be looking after each other." Patrick said with mild concern.

"Oh what do you know? Don't you see they have already bonded so well over these couple of days?" Xiao Lan said as they both walk back to the airship's interior. "If anything, Brandon will be a lot safer around those other vault hunters. I'm sure of it."

* * *

Currently, all eight corporate vault hunters are free-falling into the midst of the group of Atlas's airships down below. The wind is hitting their faces at extreme speeds as some of the vault hunters were doing acrobatic flips in midair as they scream for excitement (some are screaming in fear, but you basically get the idea). You really need to listen to some epic music in order to capture the awesomeness of it all. Any suggestions in music to listen to while skydiving would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, during their free-fall, because the wind was too strong, direct communication among the group was near impossible, so they had to use their ECHOs.

[Alright, everyone. We're ready to land on one of Atlas's airships.] Selena said over at the ECHO. [K.C.! Ready your mortars!]

[WOOH! You asked for more mortars …] K.C. excitedly said as he was doing acrobatic flips while free-falling at high speeds. [ … you got more mortars! MORTAR TIME, B*TCHES!] Afterwards, he slams both of his hands into a loud clap and breaks them apart to create a glob of digustruct particles that transforms into four large mortars strapped onto K.C. Two were strapped over his shoulders while two were strapped under his armpits. As the group of Atlas's airships came into view, K.C. took aim at one of them and used his mortars to fire a barrage of basketball-sized gyrojet projectiles right at one of the airship's windows, blasting them open, allowing for a quick entrance.

_"__So, now that we all agreed to do this. Got any ideas for a plan?" Eugene said with coolness as he calmly brushed his hair with a comb._

_"__Wait, I never agreed to this!" Brandon exclaimed._

_"__Too bad, little brother." Xiao Lan said with her polite cheerfulness. "The decision is won by majority vote. I'm afraid you have no choice but to join them."_

_"__Oh MY GOD! Why do you have to torment me?!" Brandon said loudly._

_"__Basically, if we are going to infiltrate anything, we first need to figure its layout." Selena said strategically. "Cameraman, can you pull up a visual of the group of airships?"_

_"__Yes, ma'am." the cameraman complied. After he pressed some buttons, there is a view of the group of airships that pops up at the holo-display. Selena analyzed the holo-display carefully before making a suggestion._

_"__Hmm, this just might work." Selena muttered._

_"__Excuse me, but what just might work?" Monty said while scratching his head._

_"__See this entire group of airships? There are about a dozen of them and they are all stacked in sort of a pyramid fashion." Selena explained as she makes hand gestures to further emphasize her points. "Atlas does not plan on using its full firepower onto attacking Sanctuary so it only uses some of the ships as the offensive role while keeping the rest on standby, hence this formation. It plans of using the ships as a both for observation and entrapment above all else. However, it is extremely vulnerable to outside influence because its attention isn't focused on us."_

_"__In other words … a strike from above to blindside them." Eugene pointed out as he puts away his comb._

_"__Precisely. The most vulnerable point would be the airship right on top of all the others. If we could take down that, we could easily work our way down, destroying the airships one by one." Selena explained. "However, a simple strike wouldn't be enough. Whatever Atlas is up to, it will most definitely anticipate some sort of resistance from the outside. Therefore, infiltration of the top airship might not be as easy as it looks. Taking down the whole fleet with just that strategy might be even harder. However, there might be a way to get around that."_

_"__You have a more intricate plan? Please, do tell." Kazuki said politely._

_"__It could be possible to hack the top airships' weapons systems so that it could attack its friendly airships from below." Selena explained. "Because the top airship has the height advantage of the group of airships from below, this could be greatly advantageous to us if successful." _

_"__That is assuming if the top airship has any kind of weapon capabilities." Oleg pointed out. "It could be just a support ship for all we know."_

_"__If the top airship ain't got weapons, we'll just use to ram the other airships and let it all crashing down." Mama Jaws suggested._

_"__This option is a double-edge sword and will most likely hurt us as well as our enemies." Selena said. "I suggest a timed manual shutdown causing the airship to simply shut down and fall after a certain time as we make our escape to another ship."_

_"__Man! This is getting so complex, my brain might actually explode from all this complexity, and I GOT AN A+ IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY CLASS!" K.C. exclaimed. "Why can't we just simply explode everything we see once we get there?!"_

_" … " __Selena facepalmed in response to K.C.'s suggestion. "I am not going to dignify your suggestion with a response."_

_"__Hey, don't worry about it." Eugene said as he puts an arm around K.C.'s shoulder as a friendly gesture. "I can guarantee you we'll get to explode stuff in the plan. How about this? You see this tiny window at the side of the top airship right there. You'll get to blow it up … while sky-diving in mid-air. That will allow us for an entrance into the airship and it'll give you something to brag about. All of your friends at school are going to be jealous once you told them what you did."_

_"__Oh yeah! When it comes to explosions, there is no one better and more obsessed than me! My mortars will punch a hole into that airship, NO PROBLEM! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. proudly proclaimed._

_"__Kid, you sure your mortars are rated for anti-airship armor?" Selena asked._

_"__It's rated 'M' for MOTHERF*CKIN UNSTOPPABLE! Is that good enough for you, piss-colored lady?!" K.C. said loudly._

_There is a figurative vein that popped on Selena's forehead. She is really getting irritated right now and had just about enough of this teenager's antics._

_"__Heh, that's good enough for me." Eugene said reassuringly as he padded K.C. in the back. He then moves towards Selena and muttered, "Listen, I know you a sort of checkers-and-chess kind of person, but I'm more of a people-person. You got to work around the groove, not go against it. Know what I'm saying?"_

_"__This is a mission of life-and-death right here. I am not compromising anything." Selena said angrily with a low voice. _

_"__C'mon. Does it look like we need you looking after us? Every one of us may be in this together, but that does not mean we can't have our own way of doing it." Eugene said softly. "You just gotta adapt to it, know what I mean? I didn't go through years of Dahl military training without knowing how things are going to go here."_

_"__And I didn't go through years of Hyperion task force training just so an explosive hyperactive teenager can second-guess me." Selena muttered angrily. _

_"__Selena. C'mon girl." Eugene said._

_"__Don't call me 'girl'. I am no one's 'girl' and I don't have to act friendly to you or anyone else on this ship." Selena said with an angry glare at Eugene._

_Eugene could only give her a stare. Not a stare of anger, but a stare of concern and friendliness, one that Selena rarely sees from Eugene, despite of the short time she had known him._

_" … __*Sigh* fine. I'll try to work out a plan that all of us can agree on." Selena reluctantly said. _

_"__That's my girl." Eugene said before being hushed by Selena's glare again. "Oops, sorry. Force of habit. Not calling you that again."_

_"__Alright, listen up." Selena said as she gathered up all of the corporate vault hunters to listen to her strategic plan. "Once we all sky-dive into the group of airships, K.C. is going to use his mortars to blow a hole onto the top airship's window. We'll get in, fight our way into the main command room. If that airship is armed, I'll do my best to hack into its weapons systems to use it against the enemy airships. If it's not, we'll simply shut down this airship and drop down to the next one and repeat the process. We take down anyone that stands in our way. Do it as quick and strong as possible. There will be no room for error here. Understand?"_

_"__Heh, that's more like it. I got no problems with following you so long as I got a sexy ass to stare at." Eugene said smugly._

_"__Ma'am, you may be crazy and Jack-obsessed, but you plan is as fine as cheese crackers mixed with champagne. I'll take my chances." Monty said with coolness as he chews on a stalk of wheat._

_"__I trust in you plan quite fairly. Though not as elegant as I have, it's crude enough to work. You have my support all the way, Selena-san." Kazuki said with determination._

_"__Well, I'm too drunk to come up with a solid plan of my own, so what do I have to complain to a plan from someone who's actually sober. Let's do this." Oleg said as he took another swig from his vodka bottle._

_"__I usually judge someone by how good they are in bed, but that will just have to wait. Right now, THOSE ATLAS SKAGSUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY AND YOU HAVE MY BACK!" Mama Jaws said out loud._

_"__I only heard the word 'blow' and 'K.C.' used in the same sentence, which is totally weird and awkward in any other situation, but totally fine in this one, so I'm in! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly._

_"__Um … don't I have any say in this? Should we turn back while we are ahead? Anyone?" Brandon said nervously._

_"__Alright then." Selena said as she puts up a serious face. "Let's head to the cargo bay ASAP. We got no time to lose."_

The eight corporate vault hunters have breached the top airship and sh*t is about to get real f*cked up. Because when you try to mess with these badass motherf*ckers … let's just say, you do NOT want to mess with these badass mother*ckers.

As soon as all of the corporate vault hunters made their smoking entrance, the surrounding soldiers around are all stunned and confused as to what just happened. Then all of the sudden, the attack began. K.C. rushed in to a nearby Crimson Knight soldier and spinning flying kick right into his face sending him flying (Imagine it in slow motion. It would sound cooler that way.). Then, K.C. took out a Torgue rocket launcher and use it like a baseball bat to smash it at another soldier nearby, sending him flying as well. Lastly, K.C. kneels down to prepare to fire the rocket launcher at a cluster of soldiers down the hallway, blowing them up sky high.

The others had helped out with clearing the vicinity from the Crimson Knights soldiers. Selena took a quick swipe with her energy blade at a nearby enemy soldier and use her jetpack to do a quick turn-around to fire her Hyperion SMG at enemies from afar. Eugene, using the smoke from the blast as concealment, catches another soldier by surprise by hitting him with a hard rifle buttstroke, followed by a roundabout tomahawk slash right in his neck. Eugene then follows up with precise bursts of rifle fire to further thin out the crowd of confused enemy soldiers. Mama Jaws playfully juggles her buzzwrench before she madly took a giant swing at another enemy soldier, cleaving his head clean off. Then, as soon as she saw another soldier nearby about to pull out a gun, she readies her buzzwrench and throws it right into the solider face and cracking his skull. Within seconds, the vicinity is clear of soldiers, allowing the corporate vault hunter group to proceed.

"Alright. The main control room shouldn't be that hard to find. We just need to find a terminal to show us the map. Then we go in quick and I'll be able to hack its weapons systems." Selena strategically said.

"Right. I suggest we stick together in a group with a tight formation. Hyperion babe (Selena), you lead the way." Eugene follows up with his suggestion. "Kid Extreme (K.C.) and Bloodthirsty (Mama Jaws) here with fight head-on, taking the offensive and guarding the front. Cowboy (Monty) and Princess (Kazuki) with provide support from the middle. The drunken Russian (Oleg), scaredy-cat (Brandon) and yours-truly (Eugene) with cover the back to prevent anyone from flanking and ambushing us. Understood?"

"Yeah, but just one suggestion, though." Mama Jaws suggested. "Stop giving us cute nicknames, you chocolate fudge brownie hair."

"Wow, out of all the nicknames, that has got to be the cutest of them all." Eugene winked, although you couldn't tell over the red sunglasses he is wearing.

"K.C. Dynamo does not DO cuteness! If anything, K.C. Dynamo does tough, manly, and TOTALLY AWESOME!" K.C. said loudly. "Kid Extreme is alright, but not extreme enough! It needs to be Super-Awesome-Mega-Ultra-Testosterone-filled EXTREME Kid of Extremeness! TO THE EXTREME! If you're gonna give me a nickname, at least give me that!"

"Hey! We don't have time for this nonsense." Selena yelled to keep the group back on track. "Let's get this mission done and head out before reinforcements arrive."

"Selena-san is right. Time is of the essence." Kazuki said urgently.

"Heh, alright then. Let's do this." Eugene said smugly.

With that, the group goes towards a certain direction and continues their plan.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mordecai just came to the spot on Sanctuary where Lilith and Sheldon are standing. He was holding the vault key onto his hands as he saw Brick lying unconsciously, being treated by the Crimson Knights.

"Brick!" Mordecai said as soon as he sees Brick being in a critical condition.

"He'll be alright. It's so good that you are finally willing to cooperate. Can't imagine the countless lives needlessly lost for this weak potential lead for treasure." Sheldon said calmly. "You guys have no idea how to handle the vault key's true power anyway. It is for the best that you would have handed it to us sooner."

Lilith glared at Sheldon as she approaches Mordecai to get the vault key. At the same time, Lilith muttered in a tone of voice to make sure Sheldon does not hear her conversation with Mordecai.

"Did you get the eridium as well?" Lilith muttered to Mordecai.

"Yeah I have it right here. What are you planning to do?" Mordecai muttered back.

"Just give it to me. You'll know once this is all over." Lilith muttered.

Mordecai hands Lilith the chunks of eridium along with the vault key. Lilith holds the vault key with one hand at her front while slowly molding a couple chunk of eridium with her other hand at her back, not letting Sheldon see what she is up to.

"You want it so bad? You can have it." Lilith sneered as she hands over the vault key to Sheldon.

"Good. Soldiers, secure the vault key with the specialized containment unit." Sheldon ordered his nearby soldiers. Before the soldiers could get to the ship and ready their containment unit, Lilith finally molded the last few pieces of eridium in her hidden hand, now have the energy needed to follow up with her last-ditch effort plan.

"Hey …" Lilith spoke up, which prompted Sheldon and the Crimson Knights to look at her direction. "… if you're going to be looking for the vault, you're gonna have to do better than that."

With that, Lilith throws the key upward and hitting it with an enormous phaseblast, causing a shockwave to the immediate vicinity. The purple shockwave of light was sustained and focused onto the vault key itself. The vault key was just hovering in midair with all that purple energy surrounding it. Then it slowly split into three pieces as the pieces are spinning around an axis in the middle. As the light intensifies, the pieces spun faster and faster, until in a blink of intense purple light, the three pieces of the vault key vanished into thin air. Sheldon was stunned a little by the phenomenon, but recovered his composure afterwards to speak.

"What have you done?" Sheldon said with a mix of calm and anger.

"Nothing much. I've simply split the vault key into three pieces and teleported them away from here, scattering them all across Pandora." Lilith said with coolness. "Even if do not know where they are now. Good luck finding it."

Sheldon lightly shakes his head before he adjusts his glasses once again and looks at Lilith with an angry stare. "You have made a grave mistake, siren." Sheldon said with an undertone of anger as he readies his mechanical gauntlet again, clearly pissed off at this whole ordeal.

"Oh come on, Like you are going to let us live anyway, you son of a –" Lilith said but was interrupted by something.

BOOM!

There was a loud explosion coming from one of the Crimson Knights airships from above. Everyone now had their attention focused on that just to see what the heck is going on. Sheldon looked up to one of his airship and was immediately concerned.

"Status update. What is going on?" Sheldon said through his ECHO to another soldier from the other side. "Where did that explosion come from?"

[Sir. We do not know yet. All we know is that a group of unidentified people just use explosions to breach one of the airships at the top and is currently infiltrating it, Sir.] the ECHO replied.

An explosive breach and infiltration from above, Sheldon thought. Bold but surprisingly effective, given the current situation. Judging by the timing of all this, Sheldon has suspected this might happen, albeit a very low chance of happening.

"Was there around a group of eight people currently infiltrating you airship, each with a unique uniform and appearance of their own?" Sheldon asked, suspecting the worst.

[Yes, sir. This group is fighting in a tight group but each of them looks very different. They do not look like your typical soldier unit. Oh my god, is that a teenager holding a frickin rocket launcher -?!] the ECHO transmission ended at that.

Sheldon do not need to hear the rest to know what is going on. The corporate vault hunters have come, and they decided to attack the suspiciously-looking group of airships first and ask questions later. This is going from bad to worse, first losing the vault key, then being attacked. Sheldon pinched the bridge of his nose due to the stressful situation he is in before he calmly spoke to Lilith.

"Good news to you." Sheldon said calmly with an undertone of anger. "Looks like you are going to have a new variety of vault hunters allying by your side, as it seems."


	21. Airship Assault

Chapter 21: Airship Assault

While all this chaos is going on, there is someone on the outside carefully watching and recording the scenery of destruction. Someone with the eye to make careful observations to the events going on just to later turn it into a TV show that might or might not get high ratings. Someone ... like Camtrap.

As of right now, Camtrap is hovering near the group of airships operated by the Atlas corporation overtaking Sanctuary. While the corporate vault hunters are responsible for making the assault from inside the airships, the cameraman and the broadcasters thought it would be a good idea to capture some footage for the show while they are at it. They don't get paid by the hour, so they might as well do their job right … or at least make a robot do their job for them.

[How is it going over there, my lovely Camtrap?] the cameraman said over at Camtrap's ECHO.

"Everything is going well, master. I have my stealth camo on, so the Atlas airships probably won't see me, in addition to being distracted by the vault hunters." Camptrap said with her female-robotic voice. "By now, my view is most likely being recorded right now and transferred to your monitor. Can you see it?"

[Yeah, babe. Definitely getting some nice views here. Knew it was a good idea to have you around. Those stuck-up devilish broadcasters just don't understand.] the cameraman said as he is adjusting his monitor from his side at the cockpit of the Blue Moby to get the best possible zoom of the image.

[Who are you calling stuck-up and devilish?] Xiao Lan said over at the ECHO. [You know we can hear you over at the ECHO.]

[Uh, I didn't say anything.] the cameraman denied.

[*Sigh*, anyway, we're coming back to the cockpit.] Patrick said sternly. [After you have compiled and edited the footage, we would have to do a broadcast voiceover and the entire footage would be done.]

[Oh, I can't wait to gloss over at footage of people getting gunned down by other people while creating a wise-cracking commentary of it all, undermining the gritty seriousness and realism of war.] Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness. [I love my job!]

[I don't believe I am getting paid enough for mine.] Patrick said. [Anyway, we're coming up there. Have the footage of the corporate vault hunters ready.]

"Right ahead of ya." the cameraman said as he added the surveillance footage of the eight corporate vault hunters onto his large monitor in the cockpit.

* * *

Right now, the eight corporate vault hunters are currently doing a tactical infiltration into an enemy's airship, trying to find a terminal to locate the main control room so they could either hack the weapons' systems or do a manual shutdown. This is starting to turn into any other high-octane action movie, if that movie had a teenage explosives expert, a cannibalistic female bandit, an ex-Spec ops with an obsession of a genocidal dictator, a cowboy chef, a card-throwing kimono-wearing princess, a commando who likes to comb his hair way too much, a drunken gun-toting mercenary, and an office boy with a tendency to lose his sh*t by even the slightest of danger. Okay, so not that typical. But then, this is Borderlands, so DEAL WITH IT!

"My foot just accidentally landed in the insides of your ass!" K.C. said as he kicked a Crimson Knight soldier so hard in the ass, he went flying to the other end of the hallway."I apologize! Oh, wait, that was supposed to be sarcastic! I NEVER APOLOGIZE!"

Meanwhile, Mama Jaws does a stylish jump to swing her buzzwrench in such a wide swing that it cleaved off another Crimson Knight's arm clean off. She then grabbed that arm and proceeds to chew on it while the soldier was running off screaming and clutching to his bleeding wound.

"I skipped lunch because of you skagsuckers, so thanks, by the way." Mama Jaws said while she was chewing on the dismembered arm.

Selena gunned down the rest of the enemy soldiers and headed down towards the corridor until she found something.

"Here it is. The terminal. Cover me while I hack it." Selena said as she is already proceeding to hack the terminal.

[Hello ... is this thing on? ... Ok, this is Patrick and Xiao Lan here. How's it going at the other side? Anyone dead yet?] Patrick said with his stern voice over at the ECHO heard by all the eight vault hunters.

"Yo, everything is going smoother than a hot dog down a banana peel, if you know what I'm sayin'." Eugene said smugly. "No one from our side has died yet, surprisingly, given the qualifications of some of the people we have on our team."

[Aww, what a shame.] Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness.

"Sis, I swear to God, if I ever survive this, I'll make sure you'll be banned from all family reunions at my house!" Brandon shouted.

[You wouldn't do that. Your kids love me, and I'm sure mother would be quite upset of not having a full set at the family reunion.] Xiao Lan said slyly.

[By the way, you guys know you are on camera, right? The ECHO communicators are recording everything you're seeing and hearing.] Patrick said.

"Wait, what?! I'm on LIVE TV right now?! Maybe I should totally put some make up on, and remember my lines and put on some bodyspray that smells like ass!" K.C. said loudly. "But, F*CK THAT SH*T! We're doing Improv, motherf*cker! On the fly, like my hoes used to do!"

"Oh don't worry. We are totally going to edit out all the non-sensual crap to make a well-rounded version of it to get the most audiences around the galaxy to see it." Xiao Lan said. "So in case someone among you just soiled their undergarments and that was not seen the final version of the show, you know who to thank."

"Hey! For your information, my pants are perfectly clean up until now and I intend to keep it that way throughout the rest of the trip." Brandon snapped.

"Ok, I figured out where the main control room is. We're heading there ASAP." Selena said.

[Oh, by the way, for the sake of getting higher ratings, we're gonna need some of you to add in some catch-phrases while you're in battle. Selena, you are going to put in some more effort in that department.] Xiao Lan said.

"Is that really necessary right now? We're in a life-or-death situation right now! We're have no time for this!" Selena shouted.

[As much as I want to acknowledge that, we are running a TV program here. Just think of something witty and unconventional. Should be easy.] Patrick said.

"Grrrr ..." Selena said as she turns around to see more enemy soldier reinforcements closing in towards their location. She opened fire and said "Handsome Jack ... is ... awesome?!"

"ARGH! My ears are bleeding!" K.C. said loudly. "What is it with you and that dickwad asshole?!"

"Yeah, man! I'm cannibalistic blood-thirsty bandit, and even I hate that guy." Mama Jaws said while shooting her shotgun.

"Girl's got an obsession. Also, it takes guts to say you want to f*ck a genocidal tyrant of an entire planet. Even though you're not gonna make friends that way, at least you got my respect for your dedication." Eugene said as he provides cover-fire with his assault rifle.

[Great! That might not be witty, but at least it's unconventional. Viewers are totally going to love your sexual complex with a controversial icon such as Handsome Jack.] Xiao Lan said.

"Xiao Lan-san, with all due respect, we are in the middle of a war-zone here." Kazuki said as she throws a barrage to Talisman cards at enemy soldiers. "I would appreciate it if we save this conversation for later."

"Heck, I have no problem talking and shooting at the same time." Monty said and he is shooting with his sniper rifle. "It beats having to be alone and quiet for hours at a time hunting in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I miss the ol' quiet and peaceful life of wildlife hunting."

"I really don't mind either way, comrade." Oleg said, holding a bottle of vodka on one hand and firing an assault rifle at the other. "Hell, I could be drunk, talking, and firing all at once. Don't bother me one bit."

"Oh god, I really need a drink. Could I have some of that liquor?" Brandon asked Oleg nicely.

"No. Go get your own." Oleg replied harshly as he took another swig from the bottle.

"Aww ..." Brandon sighed depressingly.

"Listen, we're under heavy enemy fire here, so you either let me shut up or you're gonna have me vividly describing me having sex with Handsome Jack in 789 positions." Selena said as she threw a singularity grenade that suck in the rest of the soldiers and blew them up, thereby finishing them off.

"789 positions?! I didn't even though there were that many! And I'm just an average teenage boy who barely know the definition of sex! PRE-PUBESCENT BOY TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly.

"Um, I wouldn't mind listening to it. Not that I would fantasize you sticking your skagpouch with Handsome Jack's rakk tongue, but ... you know, as a reference." Mama Jaws said.

"Enough! We're running out of time here, so follow me to the main control room." Selena said as she continues onto the corridor for everyone to follow.

"Girls got problems ..." Eugene said smugly. " ... I like her."

"Huh, didn't know you we're attracted to the psychotic type." Monty said.

"Hey, everyone's got their taste." Eugene said.

"Just like their taste on food?" Monty said.

"Man, those are worlds apart." Eugene said. "You and I got a lot to talk about in that matter."

Both Monty and Eugene laughed as Kazuki overheard and could only roll her eyes.

* * *

Lieutenant Sheldon could never have guessed how this one simple plan has turned out so out of control. He was going to get the vault key by whatever means possible but, as an intellectual, would seek for the most efficient path possible. This has turned far from the most efficient path and it's getting on his nerves. The only thing he could do now is to retreat and hope to come up with a better plan for his ... superior.

"Commanding all members of the Crimson Knights," Sheldon ordered through his ECHO to all of his subordinate soldiers, "We're retreating. Abandon Sanctuary as your priority target and regroup with the main airship."

"Oh, no you're not." Lilith sneered as she charges up her purple aura and phasewalk into Sheldon head-on, which is simultaneously blocked by Sheldon's gauntlet. Lilith then feint away from Sheldon and swiftly takes down the soldiers who are near the unconscious Brick. She then yelled, "Mordecai!"

Mordecai got the message instantly. He took out his sniper rifle and proceeds to take down the snipers on the airship overlooking him. The snipers tried to return fire but they are simply not as skilled or as badass as Mordecai. Everything was happening so fast that even Sheldon was shocked. Before long, he felt a blow to his head, which was from Lilith who had taken advantage of Sheldon letting down his guard. He quickly regained his composure and quickly blocked the follow-up strike by Lilith which would almost certainly be fatal to him.

"You came here and blew up my city and you're expecting to just walk away?!" Lilith shouted. "Not a chance!"

"You have tried my patience for too long." Sheldon said calmly but irritatingly. He jumped back and quickly digistruct his gauntlet, transforming it into a gauntlet strapped with miniature rockets on it. He then fires a barrage of rockets to both Lilith and Mordecai. Lilith could easily avoid it but Mordecai do not have that kind of agility. He was blown back by a couple and was about to be hit by a few more.

"Watch out!" Lilith said as she phasewalk to grab Mordecai and pull him away from the rockets that are about to hit him, thereby saving him.

"Thank, Lil." Mordecai said.

"Don't mention it." Lilith replied.

As soon as the barrage of rockets stopped, Lieutenant Sheldon has already boarded onto the main airship and into safety. Lilith cursed under her breath for being unable to give that son of a b*tch what he deserved, but at least Sanctuary is safe … for now. Then there is one other thing. As the group of airships starts to leave Sanctuary one by one, Lilith asked herself one question: What caused the explosions at the top airship? Or more specifically … who?

* * *

"Over there." Selena said as she indicates to the rest of the team the direction of the control room in front of them. It is apparently locked with heavy metal doors, since the whole airship is on lockdown immediately after they made the breach.

"It's locked. There's no way to hack this thing open." Selena said as she hastily try to mess with the controls of the door.

"Looks like it's time for some EXTREME door-opening, brought to you by explosive kid in the neighborhood!" K.C. said loudly as he stretches his hands and was about to summon his mortars.

"Woah, kid. Your mortars might blow up the entire airship along with the door." Eugene said as he holds back K.C. "Besides, it's time for someone else to be a little bit ... explosive."

"Nobody takes away my spotlight of explosions! NOBODY!" K.C. shouted as he gritted his teeth.

"Just stand back and watch." Eugene said as he steps forward to the doors. "Go, Mason!" He then unleashes his mini-tank which digistructed to life in front of him. "Anti-armor shell mode." From that command, the mini-tank transforms its mini-gun into a tank cannon. Eugene then grinned and looks back to the rest of his team. "You guys might want to cover your ears. This is going to be loud."

All of the corporate vault hunters did what he suggested. Eugene then covers his own ears before he gave the order to the mini-tank. "Fire!" Immediately the tank fired an armor-piercing shell that punched through the door and caused an explosion. The problem is, it only created a small hole about a meter in diameter to the door, not blowing it up wide open.

"Sh*t, I thought it was going to work." Eugene said disappointingly.

"Allow me." Oleg said as he stepped in to the front of Eugene and facing the now partially broken metal door. Oleg then rear up his metal claw-equipped left arm, tuck to his hip. "Come out, BEAR!" Then out in one straight punch in mid-air, he digistruct out his robotic bear companion. Upon being summoned, the huge mechanized beast charges into the door and mauls it, totally shredding it to pieces, using the hole as a weak spot. Within seconds, the path to the control room was open. Everyone was amazed at how little time it took for the job to be done, and was now even more frightened at the bear and its drunken master. Good thing it is on their side, they thought.

"Time to get moving." Oleg said, which prompt Selena and the others to move in pass the door and into the control room.

"Sh*t ... uh ... yeah, I was totally doing that on purpose. I gotta let my friend here to show his side of power, you know." Eugene said smugly. Oleg only replied with a low-brow stare, while Eugene reacted with a confident smirk, knowing he's going to have some interesting times with these people.

Once the corporate vault hunters were inside the control room, they immediately saw a group of soldiers inside opening fire at them. The corporate vault hunter group duck into cover as they return fire.

"F*ckin skag suckers! This is turning more chaotic than my annual massive orgy sessions." Mama Jaws yelled as she is shooting her shotgun from behind cover.

"Wow! You held those every year?! That is EXTREME!" K.C. yelled as he also fires his Torgue shotgun from behind cover. "Give me the juicy details, preferably the ones that involve EXPLOSIONS!"

"K.C.-san, I don't think it is appropriate for you to listen to the details of explicit content." Kazuki said as she was firing her pistol from behind cover.

"I think we got more things to worry about!" Brandon yelled while cowering behind cover and covering his ears. "God, is there a God, I hope there is because if there is I wish to go to heaven please preferably with a nice home and a flatscreen TV to watch and a nice paying job working from 9 to 5 ... wait why do I imagine myself working when I'm in heaven? I should be relaxing on a beach with nothing but some iced tea and coconuts and palm trees and wet sand ... and possibly some paperwork to fill-out. OH MY GOD!"

"Jesus Christ! Mid-life crisis much?!" K.C. yelled.

"Yeah speaking of which, why are you not firing?" Mama Jaws yelled.

"I told you, I am not trained to battle under these horrendous conditions!" Brandon yelled. "Oh God I think I'm having a panic attack. I feel like I'm going to puke."

"F*ck that sh*t!" K.C. shouted as he grabs the collar of Brandon shirt and stares hard-faced at him. "You're part of a team now, so you gotta contribute like a MAN would!"

"*Chuckles* man wood." Mama Jaws cackled.

"Haha, I know right?! There's probably a joke in it somewhere about you not having an actual penis, so …" K. C. said as he picks up Brandon with both his arms (Note: K.C. is a teenager and Brandon is a full-grown adult. Even though, Brandon is scrawny as hell, it's still impressive for K.C. to pick him up that easily.) and flings him out of cover and into the midst of fire. "GO GET'EM, OFFICE BOY!"

Brandon thought his life is going to end as in a flash there are hundreds of bullets flying everywhere around him while he is thrown in midair by a jacked-up teen. As he lands on the ground, tears flowing down his eyes and heartbeat racing, he can only think of one thing that will save him now. The "Discount Giveaway" SDU. So in that brief moment, he opens the SDU and took out one Tediore gun and throw it at the group of enemy soldiers. Then another. Then another and another. Until he is practically storming the soldiers with dozens of guns every second. As they landed near the floor of the enemy soldiers, they exploded, damaging some soldiers and causing other soldiers to panic. Brandon didn't have time to think. He could only continue to throw away guns like an NRA convention, causing the group of soldiers to be very afraid and ultimately cause them to retreat through a door on the opposite side of the control room. The gunfire has finally died down.

"*Whistles* Damn, that was awesome. Didn't know the office boy had it in him." Eugene said as everyone as standing out of cover and walk to the center of the room. Eugene then gave Brandon a pat on the back and Brandon came out of his panic attack a moment ago. "Hey, if you weren't so Kentucky-fried, you might make a good soldier yourself."

After Brandon got out of his daze, he immediately breaks down crying and hugs Eugene for comfort, which leaves Eugene slightly uncomfortable and confused. "WAHAHAHA, I thought I was going to die. WAHAHAHAHA" Brandon cried.

"Woah, man. I might swing that way, but you're not my type." Eugene said as he held both of his arms up defensively, trying not to touch the man-baby who is hugging him right now. "Besides, don't you have a wife?"

"*Sniff* you're right. I should probably hug someone else for comfort." Brandon said as he gets off Eugene and attempts to hug Kazuki. Kazuki in turn pushes him away, which makes Brandon comically fall down to the floor and saying "Ow ..."

Meanwhile, Selena waste no time checking on the console in the middle of the control room in an attempt to either control the weapons systems or cause a manual shutdown. However, what she founded on the console surprised her.

"This airship is already set to self-destruct in a couple of minutes!" Selena shouted, which causes the others in the group to be shocked.

"WHAT!?" all of the others simultaneously shouted.

"Aww, hell naw! Those skaglickers already plan to ditch this ship?" Mama Jaws said shockingly.

"Ahh! What should we do?!" Brandon yelled desperately as he was about to pull his hair out.

"Yo! We need to get off this ship! NOW!" Eugene said urgently. "Everyone! Head to the cargo bay!"

"Not so fast, corporate vault hunters." a deep robotic voice from the other side of the control room said. It originated from a large heavy-duty bipedal robot that seems to be armed to the teeth. Judging from the color and brand, it seems to be one of Atlas's with the red-and-black. "Lieutenant Sheldon's orders. Everyone else has abandoned ship, leaving you trapped on this airship with this remotely-controlled bot to deal with." With that, the robot transforms its right hand into a heavy machine gun and proceeds to open fire at the group. The corporate vault hunters immediately duck to cover and return fire.

"Sh*t, this bot have us pinned! Never thought I would be hoodwinked like that!" Eugene said as he is behind cover.

"Got any ideas?!" Monty asked loudly.

Before any of them could respond, the robot unleashes a mechanism from over its shoulder that releases a shoulder-mounted fireball cannon. So yeah … basically, it's a cannon that shoots fireballs in an arc. Great for firing at targets behind cover.

"Time to burn real hot and ... stuff." the robot said intimidatingly as it fires a large fireball over the cover and into the corporate vault hunters' area.

"F*ck! Incoming!" Mama Jaws said as she and the others move out of the way of the splash damage from the fireball.

"Haha, that's what she said." the robotic voice said, this time in a slightly different voice, which, for a moment, confused the hell out of everyone.

"Hey, what are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be on your other duties?" the original robotic voice said annoyingly. "Also, that doesn't even make sense. In what context does it even make sense that that's what she said?"

"Burning? Real hot? Sounds like my typical sex life, know what I mean, bro?" the alternate robot voice said cheerfully.

"Argh! I am not interested in your personal SEX LIFE!" the original robot voice said angrily. "Now if you excuse me, I'm trying to remote-control this battle mech to kill the corporate vault hunters just like the Lieutenant ordered. Now if you excuse me, get the HELL away from me!"

"Hmph, be that way! I'll be going now. Lalalalalala~" the alternate robot voice said as it faded away. The corporate vault hunters couldn't help but give a sweat-drop reaction at that conversation.

"*Sigh* Who hired that guy?" the robotic voice said. "Anyway, where was I? ... Oh yeah, FLAMING DEATH!"

As the robot launched another fireball, everyone became alerted and attempt to get away from the blast. But instead, Kazuki actually move towards the fireball and allow it to get hit by it, causing Kazuki to be bursting in flames. However, Kazuki doesn't seem to be hurt by it. As she spins around like a ballerina, the flames surrounding her swirled like a magical aura. Then those flames get sucked into a Talisman card Kazuki was holding onto her hand as the card was glowing with a bright orange aura. It's like the card was charging up with all the flame energy from the blast. Afterwards, Kazuki took aim and, in one precise action, throw the card right at the robot, which in turn causes a massive fiery explosion. However, that has only stunned the robot a bit, but it is still an impressive sight.

"No one shall match me in elemental might." Kazuki said intimidatingly with fiery eyes at the robot. "Your fire will have no effect on us, for I will only return it with greater fury."

"Nice job, Kazuki." Monty praised.

"Way to go, girl!" Mama Jaws said cheerfully.

"Awesome! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly.

"Hell. I'm not gonna let you upstage me." Eugene said with a grin as he digistructs his Mason mini-tank again. "Rain bullets on 'em, boy!" Following the order, the tank uses its minigun to fire at the robot, causing it to stagger even more.

"Let's go, BEAR!" Oleg commanded as he thrusts forward his metal claw to summon the metallic animal again, which then charges into the robot and tackles it, knocking it down.

As the machines battle with each other, Selena and the others tries to come up with a plan.

"So what the plan again?" Monty asked.

Selena thinks there is no way to get pass the robot and reach the cargo bay in time. Then she looks at the large window in front of the airship inside the control room and this just gave her an idea.

"K.C. Get ready to be explosive. Blow a hole through there." Selena said as she pointed at the large window.

"Heh, lady, you just spoke my favorite sentence!" K.C. said enthusiastically as he adjusts his sunglasses, flexes his arms, and pumps both of his fist straight forward towards the window. "IT'S MORTAR TIME, B*TCHES!" Immediately, two mortars digistructed out of K.C. back and strapped on to his shoulders. Afterwards, he fires a barrage of giant mortar shots at the window, ultimately bowing it up wide open. Air rushes out from the room and towards the window signaling everyone that an escape route has formed and sh*t is about to get real.

"Everyone! Get ready to jump!" Selena said as she runs towards the window and jumps out of the airship.

"Aww, cmon! Not this again!" Brandon said, struggling to hold his footing from the rush of air.

"Don't be a wuss! Enjoy the ride while you can! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. shouted as he carries Brandon with one arm over his shoulder and runs out to jump out the window with him. Brandon, with tears flowing out of his eyes, could only struggle helplessly as he is forced to take another dive at the sky.

"Yeah! Orgasmic Cheeseburger!" Mama Jaws shouted as she also jumps out of the window.

"Hmm, a cheeseburger that gives you orgasms. Wonder if I could come up with a recipe for that?" Monty mumbles to himself as he runs toward the window to jump out of it.

"Comrades, it is time to go!" Oleg said to the others as he also went towards the window to jump out of the airship. Kazuki and Eugene quickly followed.

"Heh, see ya later, hot-flames." Eugene said as he is about to jump out. "Don't expect me to call."

With that, all eight vault hunters jumped out of the airship at the last second before the airship self-destructed into a glorious explosion. As they fall, they try to maneuver their way down so that they'll land in Sanctuary, hopefully unharmed. Yet again, some of the corporate vault hunters are feeling fine as they gracefully maneuver their way down from the sky doing flips and singing songs, while others (only one, and you guess who) were scared sh*tless.

"~Jumping out of an airship; Not giving a damn; Nenenenenenenene, TO THE EXTREME!~" K.C. sang as all of the corporate vault hunters fall and approach their landing.

CRASH!

All eight corporate vault hunters landed safely on a shack in Sanctuary by crashing through its weak roof, thereby breaking their fall. As they exit out, they have seen from a far distance the Atlas army of airships retreating away from Sanctuary. As they gather around in a group and exit the shack, they were greeted by quite a surprise.

Rows of Crimson Raiders soldiers were waiting for them outside the shack with guns pointing at them like they are treating them as a potential threat. Among the Raiders were Lilith, who was standing tall and authoritative and with arms crossed, and Mordecai, who was holding the beaten Brick over his shoulder. As the corporate vault hunters and the veteran vault hunters meet eye to eye, there was a brief awkward silence lingering in the air. Then the silence was broken when Lilith spoke up.

"I'm only going to ask this once ... who the f*ck are you guys?" Lilith said intimidatingly.


	22. Meeting the New and Old

Chapter 22: Meeting the New and Old

The air is tense within the middle of Sanctuary. On one side, you have the recently arrived new-comers who have literally fallen from the sky and are now in unknown territory, wishing that they have not incited the anger of whoever's in charge. On the other side, you have whoever's in charge looking pretty pissed off and ganging up on the new-comers with a bunch of her heavily-armed men, pointing their barrels at them and just waiting for them to make a move. Maybe because of such tension that both groups just couldn't help but stare at each other and stay awkwardly silent for a couple of seconds before somebody spoke up.

"Mordecai?" Monty spoke up. All of the people, including the corporate vault hunters, now focus their attention on Monty. "Is that you, buddy?"

"Monty Jakobs?" Mordecai replied surprisingly. "Huh, didn't expect to see you here." Mordecai then passed on the unconscious Brick to the fellow Crimson Raiders so that they can carry him while Mordecai can reconcile with his presumably old friend.

"You know this guy?" Lilith asked curiously.

"Yeah ... well, long story." Mordecai said, embarrassingly rubbing the back of his head.

"It's not that long, ma'am." Monty said with a breath of cool attitude while tipping his cowboy hat. "I tried to hunt his pet bird, he got pissed and tries to shoot me back. We had a sniper showdown that lasted days and, somewhere along the lines, we became friends. Nothing too unusual about that."

"If I recall, you tried to cook and eat Bloodwing." Mordecai said mundanely.

"Well, to be fair, I'll try to cook and eat anything that moves, along with things that might not move but still look interesting enough to have a taste." Monty said. Suddenly, Talon, Mordecai's new pet bird, comes flying down to Mordecai's shoulder and unleashed a cry, welcoming the cowboy as well as his group of friends. "Huh, seems like you got yourself a new pet. That don't look like Bloodwing to me, it's too young. What happened to my good ol' fella Bloodwing?"

"He ... he's dead. Handsome Jack killed him." Mordecai said with a hint of sadness.

"Oh ..." Monty said, his smile slowly turning into a sympathetic frown as he took off his hat and use it to cover his heart. "My condolences. Bloodwing was a good fella. He will be missed."

"Thank you. But I'm gonna be alright. It's been quite a while since he died and people gotta move on. This is Talon, by the way." Mordecai said. Talon let out another cry as he spread his wings.

"GRRRR!" K.C. suddenly cried in manly tears as he gritted his teeth and placed a strong grip on Monty's shoulders. "Real men should not cry over spilt milk, but real men should always cry over the loss of a good friend! THE FEELS! TO THE EXTREME! GRRRR!"

"Uh ...?" Mordecai replied to K.C. while giving him a sweat-drop reaction. Then he made eye-contact with Monty, questioning the over-reaction of this hyperactive teenager.

"Ah, don't worry. He is usually like that, always have the personality of a crate of dynamite, know what I'm saying?" Monty said with a friendly attitude.

"MAN! Now, I feel bad about eating chicken!" K.C. said loudly.

"Well, that won't stop me from eating them." Monty replied.

"Um, sorry to interrupt you session of sentimentality," Eugene said smugly as he stepped in and wedge himself into the conversation. "But we still haven't introduced ourselves, and I, for one, ..." Eugene then took out his comb and proceeds to comb his short afro hair. "... ain't big on getting myself unknown, you see."

"Oh yeah, now that I recall, I was going to put some bullet holes into all of you because you just so happen to fall from the sky right after an invasion from one of those jackass corporations." Lilith said with a brief burst of anger. "Please, try me. What could you possibly tell me that could change my mind?"

"Well, for one thing, we come in pea-" Eugene said before being interrupted by someone.

"We're corporate vault hunters!" K.C. said loudly as he pump a double-anarchy sign in the air, like he just said something badass.

"Excuse me?" Lilith said, hands in her hip and raising an eyebrow.

"You heard me correct, hot chick with wicked-ass red hair! For the universe starts with a bang, we shall start with a gazillion bajillion tons of explosive energy! For it is the essence of being ... a MAN!" K.C. said loudly as he flexes his muscles in different positions to emphasize his words. "For who else but us could truly topple the pussy-ass b*tches known as Atlas and save you from your demise! Explosive skydiving entry! Explosives skydiving exit! Explosives ... TO THE EXTREME!"

Lilith and Mordecai looked at each other and then looked back at the corporate vault hunters with confused faces.

"*Sigh* Basically what he said was we totally saved your asses from those Atlas assholes." Eugene said smugly as he put away his comb in a stylish fashion. "You should be thanking us."

"And why the hell would you do that?" Lilith asked as she crossed her arms.

"Let's just say we have a common interest of not seeing a flying city full of innocent people being blown to bits." Eugene said smugly.

"Like hell you were. You're just in it for the competition." Monty said as he turned around to face Eugene.

"Well, that too. Oh, by the way, I totally beat you in terms of body count." Eugene said as he pointed a finger at Monty.

"Nuh-uh. I most definitely had more headshots than you did." Monty replied.

"Well, headshots don't always count as everything. Also, remember that I took out that flaming robot at the end. That's gotta count as at least ten regular kills." Eugene said smugly.

"Well, technically, the princess and I took part in the defeat of that robot. So we got to split that credit three-ways." Oleg pointed out.

"I don't think it really matters right now-" Kazuki added before being interrupted.

"Hey! What about me? I ripped apart those Atlas skagsuckers AND took a juicy bite out of them. That's got to worth at least TWICE the points." Mama Jaws interrupted.

"Guys, can we just not argue over this? I've had a long day and all I want is to find some place to sit and relax." Brandon hesitantly said, with shoulders slouching forward from being too tired.

Regardless, the group continue to argue and talk over each other, eventually turning into a loud concentration of disorienting noise for a few seconds until someone spoke up to silence the group.

"QUIET!" Selena yelled to silence the group. Her eyes were filled with intimidation. "We just got out from a life-or-death infiltration mission from one of the top corporate militaries in the galaxy. If you want to settle scores, do it at your own time, but for now, we got to focus on the issue at hand."

That speech was good enough to keep the corporate vault hunters to calm down for a while. However, someone from the Crimson Raiders just found a reason to become more enraged.

"Wait a minute. I know who you are." Lilith said as she quickly pulls out a pistol with one hand and point to at Selena. Lilith's eyes now leered at Selena. "You're that crazy Hyperion chick from the Helios Station standing right beside Blake. We've met during our takeover at the station a few months back."

Selena initially looked away from Lilith's gaze, as if she is slightly ashamed to be seen, but after a while faced back at Lilith and replied her gaze with her own mean glare.

"That's right. I'm one of the corporate vault hunters now, representing Hyperion in this corporate vault hunt." Selena said coldly and she clenches one of her fists with determination. "I swear by the name of Handsome Jack that I will obtain the vault key and open the vault to further expand his legacy."

Handsome Jack. There isn't a name that could infuriate Lilith more. As soon as Selena spoke of that name, Lilith's entire body emits a purple aura as if it was triggered by intense anger. Lilith gripped the pistol even more and took a step towards Selena.

"Say that man's name one more time and I'll make sure you'll regret it." Lilith sneered.

"I don't think you can make me regret anything." Selena said coldly.

Just when the situation isn't already tense enough, it just got tenser. Lilith and Selena are at a staring contest with such concentration of anger that you swear you could see lightning sparks between their eyes. Meanwhile, all of the other people around them, corporate vault hunters and Crimson Raiders included, are all now dead silent as they are feeling the heavy tension within the air. Then the tension was suddenly broken by a voice over at a loudspeaker right above Sanctuary. As they all look up, it seems to have come from a certain familiar airship that looks like a whale. That airship is now hovering right over Sanctuary, close enough for the loudspeaker voice to be heard.

"Gee, you guys sure are having a great start introducing yourselves." the voice of the cameraman spoke up at the loudspeaker voice on the airship. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Oh great, cameraman! You just ruined the moment." Mama Jaws shouted. "I was looking to see these two gals fight each other and possibly ripping apart each other's clothing in the process."

"Even if a fight had broken out, I'm not sure it would be as vulgar as you would have thought it would be." Kazuki remarked.

"Eh, I could always dream. Plus, you gotta use your imagination. TO THE EXTREME!" Mama Jaws said.

"Hey! That's my catchphrase! You just stole my catchphrase!" K.C. said loudly.

"You gotta do what you gotta do, in order to be ... a MAN!" Mama Jaws said, clearly mocking K.C.

"GRRR! That doesn't even make sense! Stop stealing my thunder!" K.C. said loudly as he tries to lunge at Mama Jaws. Mama Jaws playfully countered it with a headlock on K.C. From the way they are interacting, these two could be mistaken as siblings, playing over their rivalry.

"You know, if you are going to introduce yourselves to others, at least let us handle it." Xiao Lan said over at the loudspeaker. "We're what you'd call professionals at diplomatic relations."

"That's putting it lightly." Patrick said sarcastically over at the loudspeaker.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Xiao Lan said, feeling offended.

"Nothing. Anyway, a message to the Crimson Raiders: we are with the group known as the corporate vault hunters and we come in peace." Patrick said sternly. "If you'd allow us to board on Sanctuary, we would like to negotiate some terms with you. The corporate board would like to speak to you as well. Everything would be properly explained."

Lilith thinks about all of this for a while, trying to absorb and process all that has happened so far. First, there is the Atlas's Crimson Knights trying to blow up Sanctuary and taking the vault key, and now this. Meanwhile, Mordecai gently put a hand on Lilith to get her attention so he can talk to her.

"What you think, Lil? Should we trust them?" Mordecai said to Lilith.

"I'm not about to trust anyone who randomly barges into my city just yet. But I'll listen to what they have to say." Lilith said. "By the way, you need to take Brick to Zed right now. He needs medical treatment badly. Also, look around town and see who's wounded so they could get treated as well. I'll handle the negotiations."

"Got it, Lil." Mordecai agreed. He then carried Brick back around his arms and proceeds to do what Lilith ordered.

"Alright, you have my permission to land." Lilith then said loudly at the airship on top of her. "But just a fair warning: don't try anything funny." The airship then proceeds to park at the edge of Sanctuary near Scooter's garage once Lilith gave clearance. Lilith then faces towards the corporate vault hunters and indicate them to follow her to where the airship has parked. "Come on, we'll see if you are really here to help or just full of sh*t."

* * *

Meanwhile, in a dark room of a dark corporate building lies a man. He is no ordinary man, but was in fact the CEO of Atlas himself. Ever since the death of the previous CEO of Atlas, this man has taken over as the new head of the corporation and has been running things smoothly so far. With such efficiency in running the business, his ambitions can now move towards the next stage: the obtainment of the vault's power.

For the looks of it, he is already pretty menacing. He wears a long hooded jacket that is red on the outside and black underneath. Those match perfectly with his dark-colored pants and dark-red shoes. To add a bit of class, he is also wearing black gloves with gold lining patterns along the knuckles. Underneath the hood, there is a pale-white face covered almost entirely by his black long hair (sort of like an emo). Overall, he seems to be around his 20's and might even be a little bit scrawny. That said, his appearance can still send a chill into people spines as his eyes are that of crimson red and shows an expression that is a mix of deadly confidence and killer intent.

It is night time, so only the moonlight is shining from the large windows behind the mysterious CEO inside the dark room. The room, while spacious, is also practically empty, except for a cushy office chair and a long dark crystalline office desk. It is also rather quiet as the young CEO is sitting on the chair with both legs crossed and placed on top of his desk, waiting for news to come. Indeed, the news has come in the form of a call that interrupted the silence of this room.

"Hello, my lord." There was a small holographic projection appearing in front of the young CEO. The voice is that of Lieutenant Sheldon, as the hologram is showing his face and torso.

"Sheldon, it is good to see you again." the young CEO responded. His voice is sly and smooth, not unlike that of a villain in a spy movie. "Got to tell you my friend, it is quite boring to be running a multi-trillion dollar company. Everything practically runs itself. All I pretty much do is twiddle my thumbs and wait for good news to come to me."

"Well, unfortunately, I have some bad news for you." Sheldon said with his signature calmness. Despite his attempt to bring bad news to his superior, he seems surprisingly calm. But that does not mean that he isn't scared of the man he is talking to right now. He is just very good at hiding his fear, for it is important to always conjure a brave face under any situation.

"Is this about the obtainment of the vault key?" the young CEO said. "How goes it, my friend?"

"Everything was supposed to go according to plan, but somehow the siren Lilith managed to use her power to break the vault key into three pieces and scatter them all across Pandora. She claims to not know where they were scattered. I highly doubt she would say even if she knew." Sheldon explained. "She sees us as too much of a threat that she is willing to ignore the threat of the annihilation of her city to keep the vault key from us. I ended up having to make a quick retreat and left the city only partially ruined. I was hoping to contact you for the next step in the plan before I hastily destroy the Crimson Raiders."

"I see." the young CEO said as he press his fingertips together, signifying his thought process.

"There is one other thing." Sheldon said calmly as he adjusts his glasses. "The corporate vault hunters. They've arrived at Sanctuary. And they tried to interfere with our plans. They have damaged and infiltrated one of our airships and have swiftly taken out most of the crew onboard. We were forced to abandon that airship. Fortunately, no other damages have incurred."

"Ah, yes. The corporate vault hunters. I would expect them to arrive at Sanctuary sooner or later. But to arrive right when we are about to initiate our plans … that was quite impeccable timing." the young CEO said with slight glee, as if he isn't a bit concerned that his plans have been altered. "I would have thought that by simply suggesting the corporate board not to hold this corporate vault hunt event on Pandora would be too much for them to do. Such stubborn old fools, they are."

"Suggested? Don't you mean 'threatened'?" Sheldon asked.

"Please, do you take me for a genocidal psychopathic maniac who throws around threats on a whim?" the young CEO asked lightly.

Sheldon stayed silent for a few seconds, knowing fully well that they both know the answer to that question.

"*Chuckles* Oh you know me too well, Lieutenant." the young CEO said slyly. "Regardless, they are set of seven powerful corporations and I am but just one company. If they want to proceed with an event like this, I could hardly stop them."

"And now, instead of being seen as an outside factor, you are now seen as a direct opposing force to their operations. Do you think the corporate board had something to do with their decision to interfere?" Sheldon said calmly.

"I highly doubt it. They may contain the minds of business savants, but they are hardly military strategists, even if they are manufacturers of weapons." the young CEO deducted. "I'm guessing the corporate vault hunters acted on their own, which is even more intriguing to their moralistic standing."

"You should have joined the corporate board. That way you'd at least stand a chance at winning the corporate vault hunt fairly instead of putting yourself at a disadvantageous position." Sheldon said, now with a hint of spite in his words.

"Sheldon, do you take me for a fool?" the young CEO said slyly.

"I wouldn't dare, my lord." Sheldon quickly said with a hint of apologetic respect. Sheldon would often be too vocal when it comes to decisions that are not strategically sound, but wouldn't want to risk offending his master either. He knows too well what the hooded CEO is capable of.

"Good. I know you mean well and that we are coming across a greater adversary once the corporate vault hunters are involved. However, like I said before, the ones leading them are nothing but old senile fools who think real power can legitimately be obtained fairly." the young CEO said with mild disgust. "I simply don't want to be associated with their type. I prefer to obtain the vault's power by my own means, by thinking outside of the box. I am starting a revolution of sorts, after all. Besides, I am not at all disconnected from the corporate board. Do you remember the 'mole' I told you about?"

"With all due respect, my lord, can this 'mole' be trusted?" Sheldon said with mild concern.

"Absolute trust is not a definite, my friend. That said, my instinct tells me it is not in this person's best interest to betray us anytime soon. You can be rest assured on that." the young CEO said confidently.

"Very well. What is our next step in the plan, my lord?" Sheldon said.

"We can ignore Sanctuary for now. The priority at the moment is finding the pieces of the vault key. Violet will come up with some way of locating the energy signatures of the key pieces and when it's done, I'll contact you and we will begin our search." the young CEO ordered. "If either the Crimson Raiders or the corporate vault hunters interfere, you are free to kill them. Brutally if possible, for my enjoyment."

"Understood, my lord." Sheldon said as he politely bowed.

Suddenly, another ringing noise sounded next to the holographic communications device. It was from a caller named 'Violet'.

"Speak of the devil, it's our fellow siren expert." the young CEO said as he put up a light smile. He answered the call.

"Hey y'all! I'm, like, wassup!?" the person at the end of the call responded, shown in the form of a holographic projection of the person. That person was a young woman with a seemingly sassy attitude and even sassier appearance. Her hair was braided at the back and in the front was a strand of hair zigzagging in front of the middle of her white-skinned face. The color of her hair was a mix of light blonde, blue, and purple, as if she had dipped her hair into a cotton candy machine. Additional feminine flare were blue-purple eye shadow, long eyelashes, purple lipstick, heavy make-up, and polished nails in alternating colors of blue and purple. Despite that, she also seems to be wearing a white scientist uniform, which means she is at least some kind of intellectual.

"Oh God ..." Sheldon murmured irritatingly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, indicating he is slightly annoyed by the presence of this woman.

"Hello, Violet. How nice of you to join us in our conversation. Sheldon and I were just discussing the recent events of our plan." the young CEO said with mild cheerfulness.

"Yeah well you should, like, totally called me way before you discuss anything. I'm, like, one of the major contributors here, ya know. I mean, who else, knows more about sirens than I do?" Violet said sassily. "Ooh, by the way, how goes the getting of the vault key, Sheldy? Did you, like, failed or something?"

"He totally failed." the young CEO informed casually.

"*Gasp* What?! Really?! Bwahahahaha ..." Violet laughed uncontrollably.

"For your information, I have encountered unexpected factors during the execution of the plan. The siren Lilith managed to split the vault key into three pieces and teleport them into God knows where. Moreover, the corporate vault hunters just got involved." Sheldon said defensively.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just admit that you suck, alright?" Violet teased Sheldon. "Man, if I've known you failed this hard, I would have, like, just taken your place in leading the Knights into battle."

"I'm afraid your skills and expertise are more suited for research and development." the young CEO noted. "Speaking of which, since the keys are being scattered all across Pandora, we're gonna need you to come up with a way to locate them. Getting the vault key is our top priority at the moment."

"Sure, it could be done. Since the vault key's split into three, the energy signature is, like, going to be different, but the calibrations shouldn't take too long." Violet said confidently. "I'll have the new locator gizmos be ready for you in, like, less than a day."

"I'm pleased to hear that, doctor." the young CEO said with a light smile.

"Oh, by the way, did you capture one of the sirens? Did you get Lilith? I'm willing to take Maya if you have her." Violet asked enthusiastically.

"As I have said before, I won't be attempting to capture either of the sirens while I was making my attempt to retrieve the vault key. It is too risky to do both at the same time, for it would most certainly result in an all-out war. While I'm confident I could win that war, it is not without a heavy loss of resources on our side, even with the optimal strategy. As the wise man says, 'the best military strategists win wars before they even begin.' ". Sheldon said calmly. "Besides, don't we already have the 'Grandmother' for the charging of the vault key?"

"That's not the point here!" Violet snapped. "You know I want to obtain all six siren powers as my own! There's like two of them right there in that flying city standing out in the middle of the frickin' sky!" Violet then changes her tone from anger to day-dreaming wonder. "Plus, I just relish the idea of experimenting on those pretty little tattooed bodies of theirs. Imagine, like, the possibilities. An army of sirens within our grasp. Each siren you get for me will make it, like, totally more powerful."

"That is assuming that it works." Sheldon doubted.

"Hey! Who's the siren expert here?!" Violet snapped again.

"How goes the 'Grandmother' by the way?" the young CEO questioned with sly friendliness.

"Stop changing the subject, Lordy!" Violet practically shouted.

"Relax, my dear doctor. You will have your siren army soon enough. That was already an essential part of my plan." the young CEO said charismatically. "However, everything needs to be done according to a sequence. Otherwise, we are bound to fail. Now, how goes the 'Grandmother'? Is she alone able to charge the vault key?"

"Well, here's the funny answer. Yes and no." Violet answered with a hint of embarrassment.

"Please, elaborate." the young CEO said intriguingly.

"That old hag is, like, really powerful and sturdy for a siren. Probably because she's, like, as old as all three of our ages combined. You think they'll only grow weaker as they get older, but it's, like, totally not like that at all." Violet explained. "She could, like, easily charge the key for us, but only at her free will. If we force her to do it, it would require a siphoning technique which would require, like, a couple of months at most, according to my calculations."

"Time that we don't have." Sheldon said as he adjusts his glasses, which causes Violet to sneer at him from across the holographic screen. "Handsome Jack had successfully, charged the key by forcing two sirens to do it. What has changed?"

"He's a frickin' amateur when it comes to handling sirens! Don't you even start to compare him with me!" Violet snapped. "To answer your question, both Lilith and Angel are young compared to the Grandmother. Their siren energy can be easily manipulated unlike the Grandmother, who can, like, withhold its energy and prevent it from being siphoned. That's why I can only drain her energy a little bit at a time, hence those couple of months."

"Would injecting her with eridium help in anyway? Maybe ease her willpower or something." the young CEO considered.

"Tried that. Same answer. She is just too stubborn of an old hag for even eridium injections to work." Violet said as she brushes a strand of her hair. "Hell, I think it only pissed her off even more. If it wasn't for that special chamber we made for her, she might have, like, already killed us all and left that hellhole."

"She wouldn't be able to kill me." the young CEO bragged. "Remember who apprehended her in the first place."

"Really? I thought you had the edge over her because you were, like, taking over the body of her grandson or something." Violet said as she raises an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure if our Lord were to take on the Grandmother in a fair fight, she would still lose." Sheldon said as he adjusted his glasses. "Anyway, since using the Grandmother to charge the key may not be as feasible as we thought, what about the other method, suggested by your 'mole' within the corporate board?"

"You mean the one involving a tribal sacrifice?" the young CEO said. "At first, even I thought it was preposterous. An ancient tribal race capable of charging the vault key without the use of a siren. Nothing but rumors and baseless speculations, I thought. But, I was intrigued, so I went there to see for myself. Apparently, there is some truth to that myth. However, they won't just willingly charge the key for us. There needs to be a 'fulfillment of a prophecy', so it seems, which is currently being set up by our mole within the corporate board. That said, I'm not holding my breath at relying on that method. Let's just call it a plan B in terms of charging the vault key."

"You know you could always just send an army and, like, force them to charge the vault key for us. That ever comes into your mind?" Violet said sassily.

"That would just lead to further unnecessary warfare. As the wise man says 'Do not make unnecessary enemies if you don't have to.' " Sheldon remarked.

"Yeah, that is like saying 'You are a giant pussy.' " Violet snapped at Sheldon.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with the Lieutenant on this one." the young CEO said smoothly, which prompt Sheldon to hold his head high and proud while Violet stick out her tongue at him as a sign of disrespect. "This is a secluded race of humans that has claimed to exist parallel to the Eridian culture itself. They wield power unlike anything else on this planet."

"Are you afraid of them, my Lord?" Sheldon asked calmly.

"Hardly. I could have slaughtered all of them if I wanted to. I allow them to live simply out of fascination of how they thrive as they borrowed my culture." the young CEO said. "I am an Eridian, after all."

"Well, technically you're an Eridian soul inside the body of a young man." Violet pointed out, before realized what she just implied. "Man, that got awkward fast."

"Patience, my dear friends. Soon, they will know me, and they will fear me." the young CEO said as he displayed a wide grin and clench his fist with determination.

"As you wish … Lord Arcane." Sheldon said with a polite bow.

"Yeah! All hail Lord Arcane and all that sh*t! Woo!" Violet shouted as she pumps her fist in the air.

Just then, a lightning strike came down near the building and flashes light through the window, revealing the young CEO's face of mischief and wickedness.

**Lord Arcane : Mastermind of possibly VERY evil stuff**

"I think it is about time to wrap up this meeting. I have dinner very soon and I don't want to late for it." Lord Arcane said as he takes his legs off of his desk and begins to sit properly to face his two associates' holographic projections. "Lieutenant, I want you to be on standby and wait for my orders on searching the three vault keys. Doctor, I want you to prepare those locator devices as soon as possible and report to me and the Lieutenant when you are done. Whether the Crimson Raiders and the corporate vault hunters may be working together or separately is irrelevant. If they interfere, kill them. Also, I'll be coming by to the chamber to see if I could … persuade the Grandmother to charge the vault key for us. Any questions?"

"None, my lord." Sheldon said with a polite bow.

"Nope, I'm good here." Violet said as she crossed her arms.

"Well then, off we go." Lord Arcane said before he ended the transmission between his associates, making the holograms vanish. He then proceeds to stand up from his chair and walk out of the large room. As he walks slowly and properly, the lightning strikes again, flashing light into the room yet again, revealing his creepy chuckling smile.

* * *

While the Blue Moby docked in front of Scooter's garage, the Crimson Raiders and the corporate vault hunters were walking down the streets of Sanctuary to meet the broadcasting group. As always, the Crimson Raiders are on high-alert as they escort the corporate vault hunters to that location, as before negotiations were made, they could still be considered enemies. Even Lilith does not like the idea of just letting strangers walk into her turf and will make sure not to let her guard down. The airship has landed with its cargo bay door now opening up, revealing the two broadcasters, the cameraman, and the specialized pink Camtrap. The broadcasters are walking staunchly with microphone at hand and the cameraman waste no time in getting some sweet footage as he is carrying his video camera on his shoulder.

"Ah, what a lovely day in Sanctuary, aside from all the people suffering almost complete annihilation from explosives raining from the sky." Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness as she stretches her arms as soon as she gets off from the airship.

"I'm pretty sure putting 'lovely' and 'Pandora' together is considered an oxymoron." Patrick said sternly as he adjusts his glasses. "That said, we are going to be staying here for a while, so we might as well get used to it."

"Heh, nice of you to join us." Eugene said smugly with arms spread wide open, as a gesture of welcoming the broadcasting crew on their first step to Sanctuary. "I was wondering if you would get bored just watching the fight from the sidelines and throwing snarky comments at us over at the ECHO."

"I know, right?! They were like totally missing out all the fun of exploding stuff and kicking people really REALLY hard in the balls! Balls-crushing! TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. added loudly.

"I would probably trade my left nut to switch places with my sister in that ordeal." Brandon said with a low-brow frown as he slouches his shoulders.

"How could you make that trade if you got none, little brother?" Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness.

"Ooh, BURN! She ruffled you good, office boy. Hahahaha …" Mama Jaws teased as she ruffled Brandon's hair.

"Save the bullsh*t for later." Lilith said with a hint of cautionary disdain. "I want to speak to the ones in charge."

"That was the intention, Miss Lilith." Patrick said sternly. "Technically, us two are here to represent the corporate board's interest as a whole. But I'm sure that after what you've been through, you would want to speak directly with someone of more ... authority."

"That, and also I want to shout insults straight into their faces." Lilith said with a hint of anger. "And probably twist their spines into a knot so I could shove their heads into their asses."

Patrick and Xiao Lan both widen their eyes at Lilith's barely restrained violent behavior but then went from slightly terrified to slightly impressed.

"She's got flare. I like her." Patrick murmured sternly to Xiao Lan.

"I want to sex her up." Xiao Lan shamelessly murmured to Patrick while keeping an innocent smile.

"Cool your jets, Miss Chen." Patrick murmured to Xiao Lan before return to normal tone of voice to Lilith. "We will contact the corporate board through holographic communications if that is alright with you."

"Sure. Follow me to the HQ. It's better that we talk in private." Lilith said as she tilted her head towards the direction of the HQ building. "Oh, just a fair warning, anyone tries anything funny and I'll have my boys turn you into pulverized meat faster that you can blink."

"Understood." Patrick said sternly as he offers his hand for a handshake. "I'm Patrick, by the way."

"And I'm Xiao Lan." Xiao Lan said cheerfully as she also offers her hand for a handshake as well. "Please don't call me 'Xiao Xiao' or 'Lan Lan" or any other butchered version of my name or I will frickin slap you." Xiao Lan surely does not relieve his tone of cheerfulness when she threatens people, which makes it even scarier.

"And I'm Camtrap, a humble camera-bot working for the humble camera crew. Nice to meet you." Camtrap said with her lovely female robotic voice as it whirls around and do a welcoming wave as a friendly gesture.

"Oh and my name is-" the cameraman said before being interrupted.

"Nobody cares, cameraman!" Mama Jaws shouted.

"Ugh, seriously?! Is this going to become a regular thing now?" the cameraman said irritatingly.

Despite being offered a hand to shake, Lilith did not make a move to return the handshake, but instead look at the group with a raised eyebrow. Then she turns around and indicates the group to follow her to the HQ. "Follow me." Lilith ordered before mumbling to herself. "What a bunch of weirdos."


	23. Unlikely Alliance

Chapter 23: Unlikely Alliance

As Lilith, the corporate vault hunters, and the broadcasting crew enter the Crimson Raider's HQ building, they met up with psychotically insane but also kinda hot archaeologist, Patricia Tannis, on the first floor.

"Lilith, what just happened that causes the whole building to shake for a few minutes? Also, who are these people? Also, why do I not see the jars of human excrement on my table that I clearly ordered from you a while back?" Tannis said with her uptight and bossy voice.

"For the last time, Tannis, I am not giving you samples of my poop just so you can study my siren biology." Lilith said annoyingly.

"But it is vital for my research, which is clearly important and relevant to whatever you are doing right now. For SCIENCE!" Tannis said with a clenched fist in the air.

"Yeah, whatever. By the way, how could you not have noticed that we were being attacked by an army from Atlas a few minutes ago? There were rockets literally raining from the sky outside." Lilith asked curiously.

"I was busy watching two ceiling chairs having sex. Believe it or not, I think one of them might be pregnant. This is going to be great! The species of ceiling chairs is going to repopulate and I'm going to be their queen." Tannis fantasized.

"Yeah, go figure. Listen, I've got to negotiate with these corporate vault hunters so I'll be talking to you when I'm done." Lilith said before she walks upstairs to the second floor. The group soon followed. However, one has stayed to talk to Tannis.

"Hey, a hot scientist chick who also happens to be moderately crazy. Just my type. Here's my number if you want to … you know … do something together." Eugene smugly whips out his charismatic charm as he gives Tannis a small card with his number on it.

"Ahh! Social interaction with an unknown and suspicious-looking bag of coffee beans. Manufactured by Dahl, nonetheless. Must inexplicably hide inside a laundry washing machine." Tannis mildly freaks and went to the inner sections of the first floor, presumably to hide in one of the laundry washing machines.

Eugene sees this reaction and reacts by shrugging his shoulders and leaving the card on a table before following the group up the stairs.

* * *

As all of the people are inside the room with the giant rectangular table in the center, Patrick took out a box-shaped device that is actually a portable holographic projector. He then proceeds to activate the device and placed it in the middle of the table. The device then releases a hologram from its top face, projecting what appear to be seven screens arranged in a circular and rotating fashion. Each screen contains a head-and-torso projection of each of the CEO's involved in the corporate vault hunt: Dahl, Hyperion, Jakobs, Maliwan, Tediore, Torgue and Vladof.

"Good afternoon, CEO's of the corporate vault hunt. Patrick and Xiao Lan here. We are currently present within the Crimson Raiders HQ building." Patrick said sternly.

"Along with us are the eight corporate vault hunters, and the leader of the Crimson Raiders, Lilith. We have successfully established communications in an attempt to have a peaceful negotiation, just like you asked." Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness. "Although, to be fair, if the negotiations go sour, we would be the ones whose lives are at the mercy of these people who sees us as a threat while you sit at your comfortable seats at a space station far far away from any real danger. Oh boy am I glad to be in this awkward positon right now."

"*Sigh* Xiao Lan, for once in your life, can you not be such a condescending b*tch?" the Vladof CEO said annoyingly.

"I don't know. Could you give me a free copy of a good and totally not disappointing version of Half-Life 3?" Xiao Lan said cheerfully.

"Fair enough." the Vladof CEO said, totally defeated by her point.

Suddenly, Kazuki steps forward and politely bows to one of the CEO's. "Greetings, father." Kazuki said politely.

"Kazuki, it is good to see that you are well." the Maliwan CEO said to his daughter as if he genuinely cares about her.

Monty, seeing how one of the father-daughter bonded, decided to have a go at his own relationship. "Howdy, old man." Monty said before tipping his hat to his father and chewing on a stalk of wheat.

"My God! Can't believe you survived a fight with Atlas, considering you are a no-good sh*t eater for most of your life." the Jakobs CEO said harshly.

"Well, it's nice to see you too." Monty replied sarcastically.

"Hey, bunch of CEO's! Come to think of it, this is my first time talking to you guys face to face." Mama Jaws said. "Now, if you excuse me, I would politely like to point out how I AM F*CKIN' PISSED RIGHT NOW THAT I AM STILL NOT CONSIDERED A PART OF YOUR DECISION-MAKING GROUP! Having no one to represent the Bandit corporation's interest is really skewing this competition in favor to the other competitors! What gives, you motherlickin skagsuckers?!"

"Also, may I point out that I AM BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS STUPIDLY DANGEROUS CONTEST, OF WHICH I AM INCREDIBLY UNQUALIFIED FOR!" Brandon snapped with his whiny voice which does not sound intimidating at all, and yet clearly indicating that he's genuinely outraged. "I'm just a simple desk jockey working at sales. I've got a wife and three kids. I just want a stable job in this unstable economy. Is that so much to ask? …" Brandon is literally pulling his hair out as he is on the brink of tears.

"Everybody's shouting something but me! I'm going to contribute by SHOUTING SOME MORE!" K.C. shouted as he display his awesome signature poses. "TO THE EXTREME!"

Eventually, everyone starts talking over each other, creating a clusterf*ck of noise without anything coherent being heard. Then suddenly, Lilith is tired of having to deal with this sh*t and decides to phaseblast the wall next to her, causing the whole building to shake and silencing the crowd.

"Is this going to happen every time we try to have a simple conversation?" Lilith said annoyingly. "We are not going over your personal bullsh*t. You guys can do at your own time."

"She's right." the Hyperion CEO, whom you may recognize as Jeffery Blake, added. "We need to focus our attention on the common enemy here, which is the Atlas corporation."

"Blake …:" Lilith said with a hateful stare.

"We meet at last, Lilith. It's been a long time." Blake replied politely.

"Not long enough. What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay out of Pandora." Lilith sneered.

"Why, didn't I mention to you before? I told you that as a corporation, we are bound to go where there is profit to be made. A vault had the potential to contain great power. Power equals profit, and profit is good for business. It's Corporations 101, basically." Blake said with the tone of a calm and calculating businessman.

"Yeah, and I told you that you are going to have to deal with me when you ever come back. You've got some nerve to ignore my warning." Lilith said angrily.

"I believe we both have a much bigger problem on our hands. Mainly, the one that had just came to attack your city of Sanctuary and almost left it to ruin. We've heard from the broadcasters of how bad it has been." Blake said, showing a slight sign of empathy.

"Atlas. You mean it's not with you? It's not part of the corporate vault hunt?" Lilith asked.

"Of course not. That is other nonsense." the Tediore CEO blurted out.

"We would not stoop as low as Atlas to attack a city!" the Dahl CEO said with rage.

"Atlas does not deserve to be even close to qualifying for our event." the Torgue CEO said negatively.

"And why should I trust any of you?" Lilith said as she crossed her arms. "You corporations are all the same. You are willing to lie, cheat and murder anyone in your path as long as you get what you want."

"Please, Ms. Lilith. I think you have misunderstood." the Maliwan CEO said. "If that is what we truly are, surely this corporate vault hunt event would not have existed."

"This event was held because us major corporations had come to an understanding that large-scale and unprofitable warfare is not always the answer." the Jakobs CEO added. "That's why after long sessions of argument and negotiations, we are able to set up this corporate event to finally decide which of us deserves to obtain the vault for ourselves."

"It's a method that is both fair and efficient. To concentrate all our resources into one person that will be the representation of our company's image and power." the Vladof CEO said.

"A method that the CEO of Atlas disapproves." the Tediore CEO said.

"At one of our meetings, he even states that he is going to stop us and retrieve the vault for himself. He even threatened to eliminate us if we stand in his way." the Torgue CEO said. "What a pompous fool he was."

"We all thought he was just bluffing when he said he would ignore our conventions to retrieve the vault for himself." the Dahl CEO said. "Seeing how a group of his men boldly go after your city just to steal the vault key proves that we were wrong and that he is serious."

"Lucky for you, and also against our orders, the corporate vault hunters came by to stop the city from being destroyed." Blake said. "As it turns out, it worked out for the best, because Atlas still has not obtained the vault key yet and you, our best lead as to the location of the pieces of the vault key, remained relatively unharmed."

"Cut the crap! You expect me to be grateful? To thank you for saving us?" Lilith asked.

"No, I don't. I know you well enough to not expect that. We have our motives laid out for you. We are heads of corporations, and we therefore do what is in the best interest of our own companies." Blake said. "So how about we cut to the chase and make a proposal: the corporate vault hunters and the Crimson Raiders working together to take down Atlas and obtain the vault."

"Oh okay, how about I take a couple of seconds to think about it? … No." Lilith said sarcastically as she points an index finger out to emphasize her decision, which surprises absolutely no one.

"I kinda agree with her." the Vladof CEO spoke up. "This collaboration is a bad idea and will have little chance of success."

"Atlas is already not playing by the rules. Why should we?" the Tediore CEO added. "We should be preparing our armies to defeat Atlas."

"But then we'll be back to where we were before: a display of military might to justify the ownership of the vault." the Maliwan CEO said. "This is not what we agreed upon. We have discussed this."

"We could always send an equal number of troops and work together amongst ourselves. We don't even need the help of the Crimson Raiders." the Dahl CEO suggested.

"Working together? With a group like this? Ha, we are lucky that we aren't killing each other right now." the Jakobs CEO said.

Eventually, the CEO's were all talking over each other, creating even more arguing noise. Suddenly, they were interrupted by someone opening fire with a pistol in the air, whom everyone realizes was Monty.

"Good, I got your attention." Monty said as he holsters his Jakobs pistol. "Now, I know you all have your own interest and your own way doing things but, guess what, arguing over days at end won't solve anything. Miss Lilith, you don't want the vault to fall in the wrong hands, but that is also why Atlas is coming after you and shooting at you all over the place, so protecting the city and citizens of Sanctuary should be your top priority. Corporations, you want the vault to yourself but are too busy having a dick-measuring contest."

"We bandits also hold dick-measuring contests. They are held every year." Mama Jaws pointed out.

"Now's not the time, Mama Jaws." Monty said.

"Hmph …" Mama Jaws pouted as she crossed her arms.

"The point is, no matter how many soldiers or how much resources you put into obtaining the vault, you'll never have what the Crimson Raiders have: a way of opening the vault, which requires a siren." Monty reasoned, which causes the CEO's to look at each other in response to his valid point.

"We were hoping to have our best scientists to study the vault key so as to figure some way to open the vault without the use of a siren." the Vladof CEO said.

"Wait, there's a way to open the vault without the use of a siren?" Lilith asked intriguingly.

"Currently, no. Sirens are rare and mystical beings. There are only six in the universe at one time. Our experts figured that the chances of finding one to charge the key for us is incredibly slim." the Tediore CEO explained. "However, the vault key and the vault itself are nothing more than technology left over by an ancient race. I'm sure that with enough time and resources, any technology could be understood and reverse-engineered."

"Yeah, but here the thing: you've already got a siren right here." Monty said, indicating Lilith to the CEO's. "She is your shortcut to all the access to technology and information that will advance your company's interest like never before. She could have the potential to save you the possibly large amount of time and resources that, let's admit it, you do NOT want to spend."

"On the other hand, she is quite difficult to convince. She's as stubborn as a mule." The Jakobs CEO noted.

"Excuse me?" Lilith replied, likely offended by that comment.

"That's because you got off on the wrong foot." Monty said to the CEO's before focusing her attention on Lilith. "Listen, ma'am. When you used all your effort to get the vault key away from Atlas, what were you thinking of? What is the most important thing to you the moment Atlas tries to attack your city?"

"Don't pretend to act like you know what I want." Lilith said intimidatingly while pointing a finger to Monty.

"I'm not trying to deceive you on anything, ma'am." Monty hold up his hands defensively while showing an expression of genuine honesty. "Surely there is no harm done in letting us know how you feel."

Lilith takes a moment to gather her thoughts before she spoke again, with her expression changing from spite to sadness. "When Atlas attacked us, all I could think of was protecting the people of my city. It isn't much, but it is what we got. I've already lost so much during our war with Handsome Jack, and I'll be damned if I lose anyone ever again."

Monty empathize with Lilith as he gently placed a hand on her shoulder, a bold move that mildly surprised everyone in the room. "I know what it's like to lose someone, believe me." That comment had made the Jakobs CEO look down in shame, which indicates that he knows what Monty is talking about. "But sometimes there is only so much that we can do by ourselves. Sometimes in order to protect other people, we need to rely on the help of others. We are not forcing you to make a choice, but … please don't make us enemies when we offer to be your friends."

That speech has given a decent amount of inspiration to everyone, causing some to even emotionally react. One of which is emotionally OVER-reacting.

"GRRRR! You have made quite a speech that only true men will make! I have newfound respect for you!" K.C. said loudly. "TO THE EXT-"

"Please, K.C., you're ruining the moment." Monty said as he turned his back to face K.C.

"Ok … sorry…" K.C. whispered loudly.

"Huh, that was an interesting speech. But I still don't trust those corporate assholes." Lilith said, now slightly less angry than before.

"You don't have to trust them. You'll just have to trust us, the corporate vault hunters." Monty said. "Hell, we were the ones who saved you before they even make the call. Clearly, we were capable of making our own decisions outside of corporate intervention."

"Son, need I remind you that-" the Jakobs CEO said before being interrupted.

"Oh shaddup already. If you guys are willing to send us be the representatives instead of coming down here yourselves, you may as well let us do the talking." Monty said to the CEO's before focusing back to Lilith. "Like I said, you are dealing with us and us alone now. We want to open the vault and obtain the goodies and you want to protect your city. How about we make a trade?"

Lilith takes a longer moment to think about it as the corporate vault hunters and the CEO's wait patiently. Then Lilith returns to give an answer. "If you would have made this deal earlier, I would have said 'No' and probably phaseblast out to oblivion. But, you seem like a nice guy who definitely isn't hiding something or betray us anytime soon. Let's just call it a hunch. Plus, I got the feeling that Atlas will come back and will stop at nothing to wipe us off of Pandora. They may want us to believe that they won't use force unless necessary, but I know it's all trash talk. If we're gonna take them down, we're gonna need all the help we can get. So … yeah, if you could help us take them out, then I'll help open the vault for you."

At that moment, the CEO's and the corporate vault hunters all mildly cheer in response to the negotiation's success. "Thanks, ma'am, for your trust. I guarantee they won't be misplaced." Monty said gratefully.

"Not so fast, I got one more condition." Lilith said.

"Well, feel free to speak." Monty said.

"Whatever's inside the vault, we want half of it." Lilith said, which made the CEO's widen their eyes in surprise.

"That is preposterous! You can't expect us to-" the Jakobs CEO said before being interrupted.

"Deal!" Monty said, cutting him off.

"Son, you are not in the position to-" the Jakobs CEO argued.

"It's only fair, old man. She is basically doing most of the work for us for opening that vault." Monty reasoned. "Plus, I'm sure that even with only half of what we find in the vault would still be an insurmountable amount of stuff, way more than you and fellow experts can handle."

"But-" the Jakobs CEO try to say.

"Take it or leave it, old man. This young woman clearly knows how to bargain. We couldn't expect a greater deal than that." Monty said.

The Jakobs CEO sighed as he facepalmed, clearly defeated in words by his own son.

"Way to go in being the superior one in your own family." the Tediore CEO whispered to the Jakobs CEO.

"Shut up …" the Jakobs CEO murmured back.

"Ok, now that negotiations have basically been established, any one of the CEO's want to say anything to wrap things up?" Xiao Lan said cheerfully.

"No, I guess that is about all we could say. Mr. Jakobs, good job in successfully making the deal. I certainly couldn't have done it better myself." Blake said.

"Why, thank you, Mr. Blake." Monty said as he tipped his hat for him.

"As for you, Lilith, let's hope we will see each other real soon." Blake said.

"Let's hope not." Lilith said as she presses a button to turn off the box-shaped holographic projector, therefore disconnecting the transmission. She then picks up the device and throws it at Patrick, which Patrick catches and put it in his pocket.

"Alright, corporate vault hunters. If you are going to help me out, let' start off with some ground rules. You guys have to follow everything I say until I help you open the vault." Lilith demanded like a boss. "If your corporate leaders try to order you otherwise, they are going to have to deal with me."

"Despite of potentially disobeying people that funded me with these nice-ass bling, I'm gonna follow your every order anyway! Because you're kinda cool!" K.C. said loudly while giving a thumbs-up.

"And also kinda hot and badass. If I'm going to be ordered around by someone, it better have at least one of those qualities. Plus, I got my own score to settle with Atlas, so point me to the right direction and I'll be ready to chew on some ass … literally." Mama Jaws said enthusiastically.

"Heck, these Atlas assholes seem to be quite a challenge. Being the best of the best means you never back away from a challenge. I'm in." Eugene said smugly.

"It would be an honor to work with you, Lilith-san. Hope we get along elegantly." Kazuki said politely with a polite bow.

"You dare to talk back against powerful people, so that's a win in my book. As long as you provide me with plenty of booze, I'll block bullets for you if necessary." Oleg said while taking another swig from his vodka bottle (seriously, how much alcohol does he carry with him?)

"Fine, whatever. At this point, I don't care anymore. Might as well get this over with. Just a fair warning, though. If I die from this, tell my family that I love them. Also, I will haunt you all from my grave because you did not protect me." Brandon said unenthusiastically.

Everyone has spoken their words of agreement except for one person. Everyone else turn their head to face the momentarily silent Hyperion specialist, who was looking broody while leaning against a table and crossing her arms. Everyone seems to be patiently waiting for her to say something, but judging from the relationship between Selena and Lilith, those most likely would not be kind words. Eventually, Selena got off from the table and slowly walk towards Lilith to deliver her words.

"Let me make this very clear, siren." Selena whispered angrily. "You do not like me and I do not like you. Just because circumstances force us to work with each other, that does not make us friends. Don't expect me to act kindly when your interests does not match mine. Cross me and I will make you suffer. Understand?"

"Same goes to you, b*tch." Lilith whispered back angrily. Selena back away from Lilith, knowing they both get the message. Lilith now speaks at a much louder tone so that everyone can hear. "Alright, listen up. Before Atlas attacked Sanctuary, they tricked my team of vault hunters into going out of the city at different locations. We need to get them back to Sanctuary first, then we'll come up with a plan to retrieve the vault key. But first, let talk to our insane vault key expert downstairs."

* * *

"You lost the vault key!?" Tannis blurted out in shock. "How could you have lost it?! Did it just like grew wings and fly away?!"

"Haven't you been paying attention? The Crimson Knights came and demanded us to give them the vault key." Lilith explained while massaging the temples of her head, indicating that she is very annoyed. "I certainly don't want it to fall into their hands so I use my powers to split it up into three pieces and teleport them into different locations all across Pandora."

Lilith, the corporate vault hunters, and the camera crew were all on the first floor of the Crimson Raiders HQ as the group was listening to Lilith explaining things to Tannis.

"You teleported them and yet you have no idea where they are?" Tannis asked.

"Well, no. Like I said, I'm still getting used to my new siren powers." Lilith said embarrassingly.

"You once used your powers lift Sanctuary from the ground and teleport it a couple miles away." Tannis said with a low-brow stare.

"Holy sh*t, you can do that?! Can you teleport me?! Can you?!" K.C. said excitedly. "I want to do that skydiving trip all over again! I'll be like 'EXTREME SKYDIVING, NOW WITH BADASS SIREN TELEPORTATION POWERS! TO THE MOTHERF*CKIN EXTREME!' ".

"My, my. This would certainly be a way more interesting story than the corporate vault hunt event." Xiao Lan said intriguingly. "Maybe we should do an interview with you on how it feels like have the power of a literal god at your fingertips."

"Listen, last time I was only able to do it by sheer luck. Like I said, I'm still getting used to my new powers." Lilith said. "Anyway, Tannis, are you able to track down the three pieces of the vault key? You seem to be an expert on the vault key itself, so I thought you might have some ideas."

"Such kindness of you to ask me for help on your own screw-up." Tannis said mockingly, which prompts Lilith to give her a low-brow stare. "But yes, I am able to locate the pieces of the vault key. Just going to need some calibrations on my locator devices which would require a day or two to be finished."

"In that case, I'll leave that to you." Lilith said.

"You might want to hurry it up a bit. I suspect that as we speak, Atlas is already going after the vault key themselves." Selena said coldly.

"You mean they have a way of figuring out the location of the pieces of the vault key as well?" Lilith asked.

"It would only make sense. Why else would they just leave so suddenly instead of capturing and interrogating all of you guys to maybe tell them where the vault key is? Moreover, why don't they just capture Lilith as well to help them charge the vault key?" Eugene deducted smugly. "If I don't know any better, I'd say they have a vault key expert on their team as well, possibly even another siren to charge the vault key for them."

"You mean they aren't running away because they are afraid of my super-awesome-EXTREME masculinity?!" K.C. said loudly.

"Don't kid yourself, Kid Extreme." Eugene said as he patted K.C. lightly in the head.

"GRRRR! Stop treating me like a kid! I've got an awesome set of pubes and I'm not afraid to show it." K.C. said loudly.

"Anyway, if I deduce correctly, I'd say Atlas have enough resources to both stop you and go after pieces of the vault key. We've got a powerful enemy going against us, and it's only a matter of time before they wise up and attack us again." Eugene said.

"In that case, it's a race against time here. Make those calibrations on the double, Tannis." Lilith ordered sternly.

"Stop rushing me. True science cannot be rushed." Tannis said.

"Tannis, Sanctuary is at stake here. Heck, the entire planet of Pandora may be at stake here." Lilith urged.

"Oh fine. If it makes you feel any better, I'll skip the next episode of 'Adult Mutant Samurai Frogs' just to have the calibrations done a tiny bit earlier." Tannis said.

"That's what I like to hear. Now, we need to gather up the rest of our team. Let's see how the fast-travel system is working." Lilith said.

* * *

Lilith, the corporate vault hunter, and the camera crew walks out of the Crimson HQ building but were interrupted by someone. Specifically, a certain annoying little dipsh*t robot.

"Hello, newcomers of Sanctuary." Claptrap said as it comes by to greet the group. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am CL4P-TP, but you can call me by my locally designated name 'Claptrap'. My skills include singing, dancing, crying, spying, and generally being a happy-go-lucky tour guide for the team. I … WOOH!"

Immediately among the group, Claptrap saw a dazzling being in front of it. It is a robot that looks just like itself, only pink and slightly more advanced and well-equipped. As Claptrap stare at Camtrap for a couple of seconds, something is triggered in Claptrap's circuits that caused an inexplicable phenomenon. Is it … love? Sure, let's call it love. Imagine the song "Happy Together" by the Turtles playing over and over in Claptrap's head as Claptrap's view of Camtrap is being surrounded by imaginary pink hearts. Claptrap is immediately heads over heels towards Camtrap by first sight, except that Claptrap doesn't have heels, so … heads over 'wheels'? Anyway, this sudden revelation has caused Claptrap to be so dumbfounded that he immediately tripped and fell on the floor. However, he immediately got back up and proceed to go totally insane.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! OH MY GOD! Am I dreaming?! Am I hallucinating?! Can a robot do either of those things?! Has God finally beckoned my call?! I have found another one of my kind! This is the greatest day of my pathetic robotic life ever!" Claptrap said excitedly as it flaps its robotic arms everywhere in uncontained excitement.

"Umm, Master. Why is this fellow Claptrap unit seemed so eager to see me?" Camtrap said with its lovely female robotic voice.

"Oh yeah. Come to think of it, I thought all Claptrap units were destroyed except for this one." Lilith said as she patted Claptrap on the head. "How did you manage to find one in such a perfect condition?"

"Well, I actually created the AI core for Camtrap myself. I studied in creating AI cores before so it was easy for me." the cameraman said. "In addition to that, I also installed it with a jetpack and stealth-camo tech, so it would help tremendously in capturing some sweet shots for the vault hunting show."

"Hey, don't forget ya had me help you fix that damn jetpack in order for it to work properly." Mama Jaws said confidently as she flings an arm over cameraman's shoulders.

"Wait, all other Claptrap units are destroyed? You and I are basically the only Claptrap units in existence?" Camtrap said as it ponders for a while. "That makes me feel ….. sad and lonely."

"Aww, don't worry Cam-Cam." the cameraman said softly as he gently brushed Camtrap's antennae. "As long as you're with me, I'll never let anything happen to you."

"Thank you, Master." Camtrap said with slight hint of regained happiness. "I feel better now."

"Geez, talk about being overly attached to your toy." Mama Jaws said casually, which made the cameraman briefly glare at her.

Just as Camtrap and the cameraman are sharing the moment, Claptrap couldn't help but let his feelings be known, and so decided to try to woo the pink robot. "Um … uh … so, Camtrap, do you like dubstep?" Claptrap said awkwardly before being immediately and slapstickly kicked by the cameraman, sending the poor robot flying.

"Don't you dare go near my beautiful little creation!" the cameraman snapped "She hasn't seen the world yet and is not about to settle down with buckets of scrap metal like you! Her innocence shall remain PROTECTED!"

"Geez, talk about being overly attached AND overly protective. Ease up a little. If these two tin cans want to smash their nuts and bolts together, I'd say let them." Mama Jaws said casually.

"Mama Jaws, you may have helped my Camtrap with the jetpack thing, but I'll be damned if I let you poison her mind any further!" the cameraman snapped as he pointed a threatening finger at Mama Jaws.

"Master, what is Mama Jaws talking about? What is this 'smashing nuts and bolts together'?" Camtrap said innocently.

"It's nothing, my dear Camtrap. Just ignore it." the cameraman said.

"Can we hurry it up? We've got something important to do here." Lilith demanded.

"Right, off we go." the cameraman said enthusiastically.

As the group continue walking to Sanctuary's fast-travel station, one of the broadcasters couldn't help but add a little something to the conversation.

"You know, we could add this robotic love story as a tie-in to this corporate vault hunt show. Robotic romance is all the rage on the ECHOnet nowadays." Xiao Lan whispered to the cameraman.

"GRRR! XIAO LAN CHEN!" the cameraman said angrily.

* * *

As the group came to the Sanctuary fast-travel station, they are already seeing someone trying to fix the mechanism. It is none other than the town's mechanic, Scooter.

"Sup, Scooter. Guessing you are already working on fixing that thing." Lilith said.

"You bet your sweet rounded ass I am. I overheard ya sayin' something about the fast-travel thingamajig not workin' so I come take a look. Apparently, those Crimson knighthood types did somethin' to this station that not even a bunch of bacon-greased strippers who are all happen to be sisters to one another and all simultaneously make out with tentacle monsters coupled with hairy men in furry costumes piled on top could fix this." Scooter said in a wisecracking demeanor as he adjusted his hat while holding a wrench.

"Bacon grease?!" K.C. said loudly.

"Strippers?" Eugene said.

"Sisters?" Brandon said.

"Making out?!" Mama Jaws said.

"Tentacle monster?" Monty said.

"Hairy men in furry costumes?" Oleg said.

Kazuki couldn't help but rub both of the temples on her head as an annoyed reaction to her teammates' responses. "May I ask that you do not ask such pointless rhetorical questions?" Kazuki said elegantly. "I'm afraid the concentration of idiocy is actually making my head hurt."

"So you're saying you cannot fix it?" Lilith asked.

"No ma'am. This problem is way beyond me. I could fix up a catch-a-ride with wheels the size of my ma's kootch, but it seems like this thing seems to bite back whenever I tried to put my hands on it, also like my ma's kootch … not that I know anything about it." Scooter said embarrassingly while shifting his eyes left and right.

"Let me have a look at it." Selena said coldly as she steps forwards to take a look at the fast-travel station. She scans the mechanism with her left-eye visor and punch in something on her holographic gauntlet keyboard attached to her left arm. After a couple of seconds she came up with an answer.

"It's not the fast-travel mechanism that's the problem. There is something going on that is interfering with the fast-travel digistruct process." Selena concluded.

"Interfering? What do you mean by that?" Lilith asked intriguingly.

"Usually, how fast-travel works is by deconstructing your body into data from one point and then reconstructing them to another point. Between them is a long distance in which the stream of information has to travel through. Usually, this method can be successful through an amplifier to enhance the signal. However, there seems to be another phenomenon going on that seems to 'dampen' the signal, causing the stream of information to be 'shorted out' and unable to connect. If the stream of information cannot connect, there would be no way to fast-travel." Selena explained.

"So you're saying something is still working to prevent the fast-travel system to work? Hmm, could be the Crimson Knights again. They did it to separate my guys and keep them from coming back to Sanctuary when they attacked. Didn't think they would keep at it after they escaped. Probably just to slow us down in finding the vault key." Lilith deducted.

"Digistruct dampeners, also known as 'Breakdown'. Of course." Eugene said as if he just realized something.

"You know about these things?" Lilith asked.

"Yeah, and I've encountered some of them on the field, too. They are often being used in areas with a high dependence on fast-travel networks. Usually used by terrorists to disrupt the logistics of the local military or civilian population. Just one facility housing a device the size of a car is enough to disrupt a fast-travel network established all over the planet. However, its development is still relatively recent and because of high cost and maintenance, it is rarely used. There's even talk of creating a smaller personnel version of those things so that they could be used to reverse the digistruct process, making anything that relies on SDUs completely useless. Those are just rumors, though. I haven't seen any of them actually being used." Eugene explained.

"Well, given that it's Atlas, it's not surprising that they are willing to use anything that could get their hands on. So, you got a way to stop this 'Breakdown' thing?" Lilith asked.

"Well, there should be at least one facility here on Pandora that contains the source of the dampening machine. We shut down the machine, we stop the dampening and the fast-travel network should be up and ready." Eugene said.

"I could easily do a scan and track down the source of the disturbance; leading to the possible location of the facility they are housing that device. I suspect that the facility will be heavily guarded by Atlas troops." Selena added.

"In that case, we need to round up the rest of the vault hunters and we need to do it without the fast-travel system." Lilith suggested. "How about your airship? Could it fly all over Pandora and pick up the vault hunters?"

"Indeed, it could. It is fortunate that we've prepared for a mode of transportation that doesn't involve the fast-travel system." Patrick said sternly.

"Good, I'll send you the location of my guys through your ECHO. I'll give them a heads-up on what's going on." Lilith said.

Lilith then proceed to contact her six vault hunters to inform them of the situation, using an ECHO frequency that connects to all of them.

"Hey guys. How's everything over there?" Lilith said over at the ECHO.

[Uh, yeah, about that. We were rushing our way to Sanctuary right now. That is until we realized HOW THE HELL DO WE GO UP TO A FLYING CITY?! The fast-travel system is still screwing with us, and we couldn't fly, you know.] Gaige said outrageously.

[Indeed, it is so/ Your method may have some flaws/ We cannot comply] Zer0 said matter-of-fact.

[How are you guys holding up on the other side? Are you still fighting the Atlas troops?] Maya said with concern.

"No, the fight is over. The Atlas troops left. Some people are hurt, including Brick-" Liltih said before being interrupted.

[WHAT?! My big brother Brick is hurt?! Who dares mess with my big brother Brick?! I'll blow them to pieces and then teabag them real hard … WITH REAL TEABAGS!] Tina snapped.

"Brick's fine. He's being taken care of by Zed right now. Look, a lot has happened while you were gone, and I'm going to explain it all to you later, but the short version is … the corporate vault hunters are here, and they've come to help." Lilith said.

[What? Am I hearing this right? The corporate vault hunters came to help?] Axton said incredulously.

[Don't be fooled, Boss! Whatever they say to you, they cannot be trusted!] Gaige said loudly.

[Lil, are you sure about this?] Maya asked.

"Look, I don't completely trust these guys either, but they are the only way for us to have a standing chance against Atlas, who would stop at nothing to get to the vault and drive us to the ground. Besides, they have an airship with them, which is the only way I'm able to get you guys back to Sanctuary right now. So stay where you are and I'll have them pick you guys up. I'll send Mordecai with them to let you know they are friendly." Lilith said.

[Hmm, I don't like this. This smells fishy, and I've smelled a lot of fishy stuff.] Salvador said.

[LET THE RAINBOW COME! I SHALL TASTE THEM LIKE KITTENS!] Krieg yelled.

[Yeah, alright, Boss. We'll go along with it. But if those guys try anything funny, you'll be damn sure we'll kick their asses faster than the speed of neutrinos.] Gaige said.

[Oh, trust me. You'll be surprised as I am when you meet them.] Lilith said.


	24. Getting Acquainted

Chapter 24: Getting Acquainted

Currently, all of the corporate vault hunters, the camera crew, and Mordecai are inside the Blue Moby as they take off to pick up the vault hunters in each of their respective locations. While the corporate vault hunters are settling down in the meeting room and waiting for the arrival of their location, Mordecai was exploring the airship for a while.

"Well, it was … a nice airship." Mordecai commented.

"I really hope that it was sarcasm, birdman, cuz there was a buttload of things that are definitely not nice about this airship." Mama Jaws refuted. "It has sh*tty dispenser food, a sh*tty bathroom, a sh*tty engine … really, I could find stuff on Pandora to make an airship and it'll still be better than this hunk of skaglickin' crap that came out of a midget's asshole."

"Well, to be fair, the corporate board didn't think it was necessary to put too much budget on the quality of the airship, since they expected the stay on the airship to be short." Patrick explained. "The corporate vault hunters are supposed to be wandering around Pandora for the rest of this event."

"I think being a bunch of toughened veterans of war, the corporate vault hunters can endure much harsher conditions than what is provided on this airship. Really, the airship is more of a base of operations for us broadcasters to record and edit our footage so we can broadcast the resulting product to the general masses and hopefully get high ratings." Xiao Lan added cheerfully. "If the poor conditions of this airship are apparent, then it is us who must suffer staying in here while our corporate vault hunters enjoy the vastness of the open wilderness of Pandora."

" … I hate you." Brandon mumbled to Xiao Lan with a low-brow frown. Xiao Lan maintained an innocent smile towards it all, knowing the Brandon is not among the described toughened veterans of war and that the conditions of Pandora will surely be torturous for Brandon. Nonetheless, she enjoys seeing her brother suffer comically, for this is Xiao Lan Chen we are talking about and, in her mind, that's what older sisters are supposed to feel.

"Well, I don't mind being among nature. It's what I was raised in. We'll be sitting around campfires, eating crabworms, and singing folk songs in no time. It'll be like old times, won't it, Mordy?" Monty said while gently slinging an arm around Mordecai.

"Yeah, gotta remember those times on Pandora where we got so drunk we almost spooned a skag." Mordecai reminisced. "Be careful around the other vault hunters, though. They are effective fighters, but are undoubtedly an eccentric bunch, sorta like you guys. They don't know you like I do, so there's bound to be some trust issues between you and them before we all get acquainted. So when we arrive at each of the locations, just let me do the talking."

"Hmm, I don't know. I think I can be a smooth talker amongst strangers. I did convince your boss to cooperate with us. Plus, I can always win them over with a proper dinner. I'll do the cooking." Monty said confidently.

"Heh, you sure are confident in your social skills despite of lacking … proper hygiene." Eugene said smugly as he gently brushed his hair with a comb while lying on the edge of the table.

Talon flew down to Mordecai's shoulders and let out an agreeable bird cry. "Yeah, even Talon thinks you stink. He could smell you from a mile away. Still like the old days, huh?" Mordecai said.

"What?! I just showered like a couple of days ago." Monty said as he took off his cowboy hat and ruffled his hair in embarrassment.

"How could you not know that showering is considered a daily routine?" Kazuki inquired as she adjusts her glasses.

"When you spend most of your life in the wilderness, often without access to running water, something like showering just … skips your mind." Monty shrugged while putting back on his cowboy hat and rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

"How typical of unrefined ruffians. I really hope I don't have to meet any more of them among the group of our fellow vault hunters." Kazuki said elegantly.

"Oh, believe me. You'll be surprised." Mordecai said.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Overlook, Zer0 and Salvador are standing by the entrance gate and waiting for the airship that will hopefully take them back to Sanctuary, just like their boss Lilith said. They remain suspicious, however, and can't help but chat with each other about it.

"Asking them for help/ Involving corporations/ I might not agree." Zer0 said with his mysterious tone of voice.

"Hey, I don't like this, either. But if Lilith-senorita said it's okay, then I go along with her. Besides, when push comes to shove, I'll always have my guns ready." Salvador said while confidently pounding his chest.

"True that it may be/ Decepti0n is my forte/ I will be ready." Zer0 said.

As soon as they finish their chat, the Blue Moby had just landed in their vicinity. Opening the cargo bay door, out comes Mordecai and several of the corporate vault hunters. Zer0 and Salvador walk towards them to greet them.

"Hola, amigo! How's Sanctuary?" Salvador welcomed Mordecai with open arms.

"It's been better, but we got it handled." Mordecai replied with a friendly arm wrestle handshake. "Right now, we got to take the airship back to Sanctuary. Here's some of our allies, the corporate vault hunters, just like Lilith mentioned."

Suddenly, someone rocketed in between Mordecai and Salvador, taking the stage and getting ready to be noticed by posing different muscle flexes and showing a wide-ass grin. Guess who that someone is.

"But of course it is we, the corporate vault hunters, who shall kick ass, take names and chew disgustingly sweet bubblegum! For the universe began with a bang, we shall begin our introduction with explosiveness! TO THE EXTREME! For no person could match the manliness of me, K.C. Dynamo!" K.C. declared loudly.

Mordecai facepalmed while Salvador's jaw just dropped with disbelief.

"Oh boy, looks like someone is overcompensating for something." Salvador said.

That statement instantly triggered K.C. rage meter. "WHAT?! OVERCOMPENATING?! Says you, steroid midget!" K.C. said loudly as he poked an incriminating finger at Salvador's chest.

"Steroid midget?! I can perfectly wield two fully-loaded heavy machine guns at the same time, not that I'll need both guns to take on someone who should be staying at school." Salvador snapped back.

As K.C. and Salvador are at odds with each other, one other person stepped into the conversation.

"Oh, believe me, pipsqueak. I've seen roided-up midgets and they definitely look better than this brown pile of skag-turd." Mama Jaws said casually with left arm on hip and right arm holding her buzzwrench slinging over her shoulder.

Salvador recognized that voice and turn to see its origin. Immediately, his face went from anger to shock, as if he recognized who Mama Jaws is.

"Madre Dientes?! PUTA!" Salvador snapped as he immediately took out both of his spin-guns and aimed it at Mama Jaws. At the same time, as if already suspecting Salvador is going to make a move, Mama Jaws instantly took out a Bandit shotgun and pointed it at Salvador. Everyone else in the vicinity was slightly freaked out at this development.

"Woah woah woah hang on there! Don't shoot yet! What is going on?!" Mordecai said as he held out his hands signaling both of them to stop initiating a possibly violent gunfight. Despite that, both Salvador and Mama Jaws exchange angry stares as their guns are still pointed at each other.

"She is Madre Dientes. Mama Jaws. The mother of bandits! I kill bandits for a living! You think I don't know who she is?!" Salvador said gruffly.

"Yeah, I heard you killed some of my guys a while back. I don't hold it personally, though. But a bandit's gotta do what a bandit's gotta do." Mama Jaws said with a smirk.

"Well, ok. But both of you are supposed to be hunting vaults now. So why don't both of you put your guns down and talk this over." Mordecai negotiated.

"You're one of the corporate vault hunters? Since when?" Salvador asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Wouldn't you like to know? Also, I didn't think you're the vault-hunting type either. What? You got bored of injecting buttloads of testosterone into your puny dick?" Mama Jaws insulted slyly, which made Salvador even angrier.

"Salvador, put the gun down." Mordecai persuaded.

"Screw that! I let my bullets do the talking!" Salvador raged.

"Somethin' we both can agree on. I haven't had midget meat in a while." Mama Jaws said as she licked her lips while displaying her carnivorous teeth.

Just as things are about to get hairy, two people swiftly enter the fray and stop the fight by restraining the two gun-wielders. Kazuki elegantly disarm Mama Jaws and pin her down to the ground with an arm-lock, while Zer0 does a sweep kick to knock down Salvador and restrain his arms.

"Knock it off, you two. We are supposed to be allies, so we should act as such. Unnecessary fighting is unwanted." Kazuki said elegantly.

"I agree with her/ Reserve your strength to battle/ Our common foe." Zer0 added.

As the fighting has stopped, Kazuki recognized that mysterious voice. That voice of which is so familiar to her, it almost triggered an emotional reaction. As she turns around to look, she sees a familiar figure in front of her, one of which is from her past memories. Zer0 stared back at Kazuki and seems to have a similar reaction. They both got up and walk towards each other until they are standing a few feet from each other face-to-face. Kazuki was mildly surprised to see Zer0. Although you can't really tell Zer0's emotions through his blank visor, he is most likely feeling the same.

"Zer0-sensei … Hisashiburi (Long time no see), it's good to see you again." Kazuki said with a bright smile and a polite bow.

"Kazuki … It has been too long/ Times have changed and you have grown/ How are you doing?" Zer0 replied with a similarly polite bow. There is a slight addition of gentleness to his tone when speaking with Kazuki, as if he was talking to a long-lost friend.

"I've been doing fine. Domo arigatozaimasu (Thank you very much)." Kazuki said with a blushing smile. Judging by the look of her reacting towards Zer0, it's like a fangirl meeting up with someone she admired. Then, suddenly out of nowhere, Kazuki step forward and gave Zer0 a gentle hug. There is no reaction to be seen on Zer0's face, though I'd imagine it'll be slight embarrassment.

"Kazuki …" Zer0 said as he gently push away Kazuki from the hug. "What have I told you?/ About letting your feelings/ Get control of you?"

"Yes, I know." Kazuki said while regaining composure from the emotional bonding. "It's just … really nice to see you again." Kazuki displayed a cheerful smile.

"Likewise." Zer0 said with a polite nod.

As Kazuki and Zer0 are sharing a moment, Mordecai, K.C., Salvador, and Mama Jaws are all watching them two, with a reaction that could be best described as "WTF?!"

"See?! Look at those two becoming EXTREME friends the moment they meet?! You guys could learn a thing or two from them!" K.C. said loud and proud as he puts one hand on Mama Jaws shoulder and another on Salvador's shoulder, indicating their conflict.

Salvador and Mama Jaws turn around to look at K.C. and could only react to his statement by giving him a low-brow frown.

* * *

A while later at Ellie's garage, Maya, Krieg, and Ellie were waiting outside, looking at the horizon and patiently waiting for the airship to come.

"Corporate vault hunters, huh?" Maya mumbled. "It's not like Lilith to be so trusting. There must be something else going on here."

"FANGS OF SNAKE MEETS CLAWS OF TIGERS! MY BUZZ SHALL GRIND AND LEAVE POOP OF GREEN STRINGS!" Krieg blurted out.

"Umm … come again?" Ellie asked as if confused about Krieg's choice of words.

"I think he means that if this is a trap, he'll annihilate the enemies easily." Maya said with a slight smile, feeling slightly touched by Krieg's protective nature.

"God damn, you sure know how to wrap your brains around his messy pile of words. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you guys are a couple or somethin'." Ellie suggested.

Reacting to Ellie's words, Maya tried to look away from Ellie as she let out a slight blush on her cheeks. Krieg's reaction was matching that of the same as Maya, with an added rubbing of the back of his head as a sign of slight embarrassment.

"THE KNIGHT SHALL RESCUE THE PRINCESS FROM THE TOWER OF DRAGONS WITHOUT NEED OF CAKE AS REWARD!" Krieg said as he pumps one of his fists in the air with determination. This statement only makes Maya's cheeks redder. Ellie chuckled mischievously as she looked at the chemistry between the two.

Meanwhile, the Blue Moby has arrived at Ellie's garage. Out come Mordecai, Salvador, Zer0, and several corporate vault hunters to greet Ellie's group. Everyone was relieved to see everyone else safe and sound.

"Maya, Krieg, Ellie. It is good to see you all safe." Mordecai said with a sigh of relief as he waved his arm to meet Maya and the group.

"Huh, you actually came. That means what Lilith said was true." Maya said as she crossed her arms.

"Apparently so. We still need to pick up Axton and the others before we get back to Sanctuary." Mordecai said.

"What is your first impression of them?" Maya said suspiciously.

"Well, surprisingly, not all of them are complete strangers to members of our group. Some of them are long-lost friends. Some of them, worst of enemies." Mordecai said while feeling a bit worried.

"We observe for now/ See where this relationship/ Develop from here." Zero said.

"You observe! I already not liking one of them. I've already have my fingers hard-pressed on the triggers of my guns, so don't hold your breath!" Salvador grunted.

Maya raised an eyebrow as she scans around to look at the different corporate vault hunters that came off the ship, analyzing her would-be allies. Meanwhile, Krieg walked up to a corporate vault hunter whom he recognized as Selena. This suddenly triggered a vague piece of memory being awakened from his mind. Something that is seemingly suppressed after years had finally reformed itself. He knows he saw her from that one time on the Helios station, but the encounter was too brief for any recollection. Now, it feels like they are both acquainted long ago, but Krieg's memory is not very sharp even at the best of times. Therefore, all he could do is approach Selena with a curious stare.

Meanwhile, Selena turn her back to see the behemoth of a psycho bandit. Of course she had already recognized him from the Helios Station incident, but didn't want that to affect her secretive mission, so she pretends she didn't know him. In any case, for reasons that shall remain secret, it is best to avoid getting acquainted with Krieg. Selena may have killed Clements to protect Krieg, but she is in no way trying to become friends with him. So, for now, it is best to keep her distance.

However, as Selena tries to move away, Krieg tries to move closer. It's as if this avoidance has made Krieg even more curious as to the past relationship between them. Krieg has no clear way of communicating with Selena so he could only spout out barely coherent words to her, hoping she would understand.

"RABBIT HOLE! ESCAPE FROM THE QUEEN!" Krieg shouted out. Krieg's words truly shocked Selena. This indicates that Krieg's memory is not completely lost after all. This could complicate matters. Selena needs to do something about it.

While this is going on, Maya was watching from the sidelines, curious as to Krieg's interest to the Hyperion specialist. Then she saw the Hyperion specialist and recalled that she is the same one that the Crimson Raiders met with during the Helios Station incident, which led her curiosity to be mixed with a bit of caution. Before Maya could say anything, Selena immediately take action.

Selena activates her jetpack and immediately jump to do a flying knee-strike to Krieg's chin, causing him to be knocked down. Selena then uses her right forearm to press against Krieg's neck, pinning him to the ground. This raised alert to everyone in the vicinity witnessing this incident, especially Maya. While Selena is pinning Krieg to the ground, she is mumbling some words to him.

"Listen to me very carefully. I do not know who you are and you do not know who I am. Do not act like you do. Do not approach me or even attempt to speak to me, or I will hurt you." Selena mumbled angrily to Krieg. Krieg seems confused as to the reason behind this hostility towards him. Could it have been the wrong person? Did she lose her memory? Does she have a reason not to reconcile with him? Instead of being angry, Krieg is simply at the loss of words.

Seeing how Selena attacked Krieg, Maya unleashes a phaselock on Selena, causing her to float in mid-air helplessly. As Selena was phaselocked, Maya and Selena exchanged angry glares.

"How dare you attack Krieg?!" Maya said angrily.

"He was the one who approached me. I only told him to back off." Selena said while being phaselocked mid-air.

Before Maya could counter her words, she was stopped by the Krieg's hand gesture, signaling her to stop. Maya now went from angry to confused.

"Krieg?" Maya asked.

"ENTICING THE RAGE OF THE GOLIATH, IT IS THE FAULT OF WHO TAKES OFF THE HELMET!" Krieg blabbered. Maya kind of know what he is talking about, so she reluctantly releases Selena from the phaselock.

As Selena picks herself up from the ground, she slowly walk towards Maya before staring her angrily and said "Keep your pet on a leash. I won't be so lenient next time." After that, Selena proceeds to walk back to the airship. Everyone else who had witnessed the event going on was shocked at first, but was relieved that it got dissolved.

"Man, glad that didn't turn into somethin' nasty. What was that all about anyway?" Ellie said as she scratched her head.

"Who knows? Anyway, I think it's better if you come along with us. Moxxi is worried about you." Mordecai said.

"Pfft, tell Ma not to worry about me. I totally had everythin' taken care of. If those military bastards ever come back, I'll give 'em a beating and feed them to my car-crusher." Ellie said confidently.

"But Sanctuary had just been attacked. Don't you want to see how your mother is doing?" Mordecai asked.

"Huh, I guess you're right. Alright, I'll tag along. You sure that airship can carry all this heft?" Ellie said, indicating her large but proud weight.

"Oh, no need to worry. Unlike you, it knows perfectly well if it is over its recommended consumption." Xiao Lan said cheerfully, which prompt Ellie to be pissed off. Fat jokes are something the Ellie has heard way too many off, and it always pisses her off. As Ellie pop an angry vein towards Xiao Lan, Xiao Lan simply smiles innocently.

As the group gathers itself to board back onto the airship, Maya was still wondering about the incident that happened a moment ago. She was determined to ask Krieg as they were on the airship.

"Krieg. Back then … what happened? What is going on here? Is there something between you and that woman?" Maya asked with sincere concern.

There are various thoughts floating in Krieg's mind right around now. Krieg was not the best with words so it would definitely be hard to explain his relationship with Selena. Then again, it seems that Selena insist that he keep his mouth shut about it for some enigmatic reason. Krieg therefore decided to just adhere to Selena's demand.

"FLIES CHASE LIGHT AND GETS ZAPPED! CURIOSITY CAKE EATS THE CAT!" Krieg blabbered.

Maya touched her temple as she shook her head, signifying her confusion and annoyance. "Seriously, even after all this time, I still can't understand you sometimes." Maya said.

* * *

"Man, what is taking them so long?!" Tina said irritatingly while jumping up and down on a table. "Motherhumpa ain't down waiting that long for mah ride. Nah mean, son?!"

"Relax, I'm sure they're stuck in traffic or something." Axton said while sitting on a chair with legs on the table as he is cleaning his rifle.

"Traffic? On Pandora? Are they afraid of getting a ticket for speeding or bumping into a fellow airship and annoyed for having to exchange insurance information?" Gaige said as she is lying down on a sofa and looking bored.

The three are now inside Tina's cave, waiting for the so-called corporate vault hunters to pick them up. Since they are the last to be picked up, they had been waiting for the longest and it is getting on the nerves of some of them.

"Hey, there are still obstacles that get in your way on Pandora. Maybe it's bandits' buzzards or varkids or rakks big enough to swallow airships whole." Axton countered.

"Huh, giant rakks. Yeah, that'll be the day." Gaige said before she got up from the couch and walk towards Axton and Tina at the table. "But seriously though. How did some measly corporate vault hunter wannabes convince the almighty Lilith to work with them? Something's not right here."

"Think this is a trap?" Axton suggested.

"There's always that possibility. But if it isn't and we really need to work with the corporate vault hunters, then things could really get interesting." Gaige said intriguingly while rubbing her chin. "By the way, one of the corporations involved was Dahl. You worked for Dahl before, right? Can you think of anyone who would be representing Dahl in this corporate vault hunt?"

"Hmm, given that it's Dahl, which is filled to the brim with talented soldiers, it could be anyone really. God forbid that it is anyone I know." Axton wondered.

"Oh, you don't want to reconcile with one of your 'war buddies'?" Gaige said with a sly look.

"More like 'friendly rivals'. When you're in a private military corporation for as long as I have, it's not so much as competing with other companies as it is competing with each other." Axton explained. "Plus, I'm not part of Dahl anymore and they wanted me dead. Whoever Dahl sends in is going to shoot me in the ass anyway."

"I bet they gonna shoot you in the ass with a long stick instead of a gun, if you know what I mean." Tina snickered as she lightly elbowed Gaige, letting her in on the joke. Gaige couldn't help but barely holding her laughter with her hands cupping her mouth. Axton could only roll his eyes at their childish demeanor.

"Seriously, who taught you these kinds of things?" Axton asked.

"Oh blow it off. This is Pandora. If this baby here can handle explosives like a pro, she can handle a couple of adult material every now and then." Gaige said cheerfully as she ruffled Tina's hair playfully.

"You're a bad influence on her." Axton said blankly.

"Aw hell naw, son. Gaige the mechromancer is the boss lady right here. She's mah main squeeze." Tina said slyly before she reached into Gaige and groped one of her boobs. This immediately caused Gaige to blush madly and embarrassingly cover her chest.

"TINA!" Gaige snapped. Tina could only run away around the table and giggling cheerfully as Gaige tries to catch her. They run around Axton as Axton reacted with a low-brow stare and a tired sigh.

Then suddenly, they hear noise coming from the entrance of the cave, as if an airship has landed at that location. Axton, Gaige, and Tina walk towards it to see the Blue Moby has indeed landed. Opening the hatch of the cargo bay, out comes Mordecai, Zer0, Salvador, Maya, Krieg, Ellie, and several other corporate vault hunters. Axton and the group are relieved to see familiar faces but are reacting a bit more cautiously towards the newcomers.

"Well, they seem like a colorful bunch." Axton said as he looked around to observe some of the corporate vault hunters.

"You could say that again." Mordecai said. "Anyway, the fast-travel system is not working so we need to ride this to get back to Sanctuary. Everything will be explained once we get back."

"Well, can't say I'm totally agreeing to working with strangers, but I've been down that path before." Axton said, referring to working with the other vault hunters to take down Handsome Jack. "How bad could it be?"

"Well, it really depends on your definition of 'bad'." a familiarly smug voice said. "Besides, … we aren't exactly strangers."

Axton saw a shadowy figure coming out from the cargo bay. As he turn to get a closer look, he saw that it was one of whom he recognized.

"Eugene?!" Axton said shockingly as he immediately drew his rifle and pointed straight at his supposed acquaintance.

"Axton." Eugene replied as he drew his Dahl assault rifle almost as fast, although only using one hand to loosely hold the rifle. "It's been too long, bro."

"Ugh, not this again." Mordecai said annoyingly as he facepalmed.

"Woah woah woah! What is going on here?" Gaige said as she also drew her Bandit SMG pointing at Eugene, mimicking Axton. "Ax, is he a friend? An enemy? Should we be worried?"

"Heh, little girl. I'm more than a friend to Axton. We're tight as hell." Eugene said smugly as he continues to hold the rifle with one hand in a loose position.

"Yo, you up in mah boy's grill, son? Tis' mah neighborhood. You don't faze me." Tina said as she is holding up a pack of dynamite up high, trying to be all ghetto and sh*t when it really just makes her cuter. (Admit it. A cute 13-year old gangsta is still cute. Thug life, rainbows, unicorns, cupcakes, and all that sh*t.)

"What are you doing here, Eugene?" Axton asked with grit.

"It's nice to see you too, Axton. Man, it' been too long Axton. We should have a beer sometime, Axton. My, is it me or have you grown fatter, Axton?" Eugene said playfully, already teasing his long-time friend as being too hostile in their reunion.

"Don't give me that bull. You come here to kill me for Dahl, aren't you? Who would have thought they would pick you for that mission? Can't believe you actually accepted it." Axton said with a glare as he is gripping tightly onto his assault rifle.

"Now who do you take me for? True, there is still a price on your head set by Dahl, but that is not my top priority right now. I'm here on some old-fashioned vault hunting, just like you, I hear." Eugene said with a smug smile. "Only this time, I'm representing Dahl to hunt those vaults, but honestly, I don't see any practical difference."

"Wait, YOU'RE Dahl's representative for the vault hunt?!" Axton said shockingly.

"You seem surprised. What do you really expect? I'm the best of the best that Dahl has to offer. Vault hunting seems like a nice change of pace from my usual routines, so why the heck not?" Eugene said as he shrugged.

"You sure that's the only reason? Me being on Pandora got nothing to do with it?" Axton questioned suspiciously.

"I admit, you being here WAS part of the reason I joined this event. But it got nothing to do with killing you … probably." Eugene said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Eugene …" Axton said as he narrowed his eyes.

"Hehe, I'm just kidding. I mean, we've been through thick and thin together. Out on the battlefield, in the locker rooms … alone … together?" Eugene said with a raised eyebrow, which means he is definitely implying something, which kinda intrigued a certain mechromancer.

"Wait, are you implying you guys are …?" Gaige lowered her guns as she curiously exchange looks between Eugene and Axton.

Eugene only nodded his head. Axton had an embarrassing look on his face as he is avoiding eye contact with Gaige, which means what Gaige guessed was true.

"Oh my God! Oh My God! OH MY GOD! You?! … Him?! … BWAHAHAHAHA!" Gaige laughed uncontrollably as she holsters her weapon to point fingers at both Eugene and Axton. She is literally crying out of laughter and her ribs are starting to hurt from it. Mordecai and the others could only stare blankly at the incident.

"What?! It's no secret that I'm interested in guys as well as girls, alright?" Axton said as he lowered his gun.

"Well, did you let them know that I was your first taste of sexual manlihood? That I was the one who made you realize your true tastes?" Eugene said smugly as he holster his rifle and proceed to brush his hair with a comb.

"He was your first guy?! Oh man, you got to tell me all about that experience." Gaige said excitedly as she approaches Eugene and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"Well, where should I start? It was in a hot evening sun. We were both in the locker room, hot, naked, and sweaty from the workout -" Eugene began his intriguing story before being interrupted.

"Eugene!" Axton said grumpily as he holstered his assault rifle and step towards Eugene.

"Aww, c'mon. The little girl's curious." Eugene said as he patted Gaige on the head. "We all need our curiosity satisfied one way or another."

"Uh, I hate to break in," Mordecai said as he step in to the group. "but we need to get moving. Lilith's waiting for us -"

"LEAN AND MEAN! FIGHTING MACHINE! TO THE EXTREME!" a certain voice from above yelled. Everyone looked up to see a shadowy figure jumping from the top of the airship and overcasting by the blazing Pandoran sun. Not everyone could see who that shadowy figure was, but some have already guessed who it is already by its voice.

"Aw crap! Everyone take cover!" Mordecai yelled. Immediately, everyone jumped out of the way as the shadowy figure has now landed in the middle. As it had landed, it unleashes a trembling shockwave that had blown dust all over the area. While the dust settles, the shadowy figure delivers a manly speech of AWESOMENESS.

"Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosiveness! The essence of a TRUE MAN!" the shadowy figure slowly reveals himself to be none other than the one and only K.C. Dynamo holding a Torgue rocket launcher proudly with one arm. He is so into his speech that he is practically unaware of others looking at him like he's an idiot. One of them, however, looks at him with a particular interest. That person looks at K.C. Dynamo with wide eyes and open mouth. It is as if that person has seen something extraordinary that his or her eyes could not be taken away from its gaze. That person is none other than Tiny Tina.

Some people look at K.C. with annoyance. Some people look at K.C. with confusion. Yet it is Tiny Tina who looked at K.C. in such a fascinating way. Tina couldn't believe her eyes what she was seeing and think that this is a dream, that it is too good to be true. And yet, here is K.C. Dynamo right in front of her. The very same person who had triggered a flood of extremely concentrated memories and emotions. Happiness, sadness, funniness, scariness, WTFness, all rushing into her brain. She could only react by being frozen stiff and stare without even a blink. Then, all of a sudden, she drops the pack of dynamite that she is holding on her hand, take a deep breath and shout on the top of her lungs, like she have never shouted before.

"K.C.!" Tina shouted. Everyone's attention now focuses on Tina, including K.C.

K.C. could hardly believe his ears. That voice could belong to no one else. That voice of which is so unique and so special, it could be plucked from even the busiest of crowds. The voice that could trigger waves of memories and emotions that would make regular human squishy brains explode. But not K.C.'s brain because his is too extreme. However, he could still barely contain the feels within his heart as he turn around to look at the very same 13 year-old demolitionist expert from his entrenched and cherished memories. He too is being frozen by the sudden burst of emotions before suddenly dropping his rocket launcher and taking a deep breath before shouting loudly as well.

"TINA!" K.C. shouted, surprisingly even louder than before. Louder than a rock concert. Louder than a jet engine. Loud enough for the entire planet of Pandora to hear. That level of excitement accurately matches his wide-eyed stare and jaw drop as he looked at Tina.

"K.C.!" Tina shouted, somehow even louder than K.C.

"TINA!" K.C. shouted back, apparently trying to be even louder than her.

"K.C.!" Tina shouted at her loudest possible, barely having any breath to shout.

"TINA!" K.C. shouted at his most extreme, possibly pushing his already incredible voice box to the extreme of all the extremes.

Everyone else just stares blankly at the two of them going at it with the shouting. Apparently, words have failed to describe their reaction to this scenario so they all just stood there, not saying a word.

Suddenly, K.C. and Tina took action. K.C. immediately takes a running dash towards Tina while Tina immediately does the same moving towards K.C. As they run towards, some of the bystanders look briefly concerned, thinking whether they should be stopping whatever's about to happen. But they eventually just decided to stand there and watch, just desperate to see what's going to happen next. Eventually, once K.C. and Tina are close enough to each other, they both jump in the air and, in a brief intense moment, they … headbutted each other.

It was a mutual headbutt so intense, you could almost hear the crack of their skulls. The headbutt applied so much force, that both of them are knocked back and are now lying on the ground. Everything remained silent and motionless for a few agonizing seconds. Everyone was so awestruck by this that their brains are now being pounded by three giant letters: "WTF?!" Before they are about to come back to their senses and go help those two young idiots, both K.C. and Tina got up from the ground and began yelling madly at the top of their lungs and flailing their arms up in the air as if they are celebrating something. Afterwards, K.C. and Tina hug each other very tightly as they both jump for joy.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" both K.C. and Tina yelled simultaneously as they hug it out tighter than two snakes having sex. (Ok, bad imagery, but you get what I'm mean.)

"I'M NOT DREAMING! I'M DEFINETELY NOT DREAMING!" Tina yelled cheerfully as she looked at K.C.'s face. Her eyes are watering down with tears of joy as she wears a wide smile on her face. She couldn't let go of K.C.'s arms even if she tried as both of them jump for joy. She is just that excited to see him.

"NO, YOU'RE NOT! MY HEAD HURTS LIKE A MOTHERF*CKER! YOU'RE DEFINETELY NOT DREAMING!" K.C. yelled with a near-equivalent reaction: tears of joy, wide smile, couldn't let go of Tina's arms due to tremendous excitement, still jumping for joy.

"YOU'RE FINALLY BACK! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE FINALLY BACK!" Tina yelled.

"I AM BACK! I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD! I'D NEVER LEAVE YOU BEHIND! THAT IS NOT THE WAY OF A TRUE MAN!" K.C. yelled.

"I AM SO HAPPY! YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY NIGHTS I'VE SLEPT THINKING ABOUT YOU!" Tina yelled.

"ME TOO! I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME! WHEN I EAT! WHEN I SHOWER! WHEN I'M TAKING AN EXTREMELY CONSTIPATED DUMP! BY THE WAY, ARE YOU EATING YOUR VEGGIES?!" K.C. yelled.

"VEGGIES TASTED NASTY! I'M ON AN EXCLUSIVE CRUMPET DIET! CRUMPETS ARE CRUNK!" Tina yelled.

"GOOD! VEGGIES ARE FOR PUSSIES ANYWAY! REAL MEN EAT PROTEIN! LOTS OF BURGER MEAT! AND HOTDOGS! AND STEAK! AND JERKY! AND MOTHERF*CKIN BACON!" K.C. yelled.

"AND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!" Tina yelled.

"F*CK CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! THEY TASTE LIKE YOUR GRANDMA PUT HER FOOT IN A BUCKET OF SUGAR WATER!" K.C. yelled.

"AND BACON TASTE LIKE YOUR UNCLE'S SWEATY ARMPIT! YOU NEVER LIKED SWEET THINGS!" Tina yelled.

"AND YOU NEVER LIKED VEGGIES OR BACON!" K.C. yelled.

"YOU NEVER CHANGE!" Tina yelled.

"NEITHER DID YOU!" K.C. yelled.

"K.C.!" Tina yelled.

"TINA!" K.C. yelled.

Both K.C. and Tina finally stop jumping as both are probably already too tired, though they are still clinging to each other tightly by the arms. They both gradually kneel down, still clinging, as they gradually pull themselves towards each other, grabbing each other tightly with a cute and lovingly tight hug. They might as well be wiping each other tears and snot with the other's shirt at this point, which is disgusting yet sweet at the same time. It took a while before they both finally cool down emotionally while the bystanders try to take this moment to collect themselves and figure out what the hell is going on. Finally, one of them spoke out loud.

"Ok, um, Tina, is there something that you're supposed to tell us?" Axton asked intriguingly.

"Yeah, Kid Extreme. Didn't know you got yourself a girlfriend before you even got here on Pandora." Eugene said smugly as he lightly elbowed K.C.

"Tina was more than a 'girlfriend' to me! She is my love! She is my life! She is the BIG BANG of my UNIVERSE! Don't you dare disrespect her!" K.C. warned loudly as he uses one hand to point a finger at Eugene while using the other to sling around Tina's shoulders.

"Yeah! K.C. right here … he's my main squeeze~." Tina said with a mocking seductiveness as she brushes her index finger across K.C.'s chest.

"Huh, I thought I was your main squeeze." Gaige said with a hint of being offended.

"Nah, that was a fling, my ho. This boy here's gonna be mah ride to ETERNITY and INFINITY and WHATEVERITY!" Tina said cheerfully as she pumps one fist into the air with excitement.

"Well, this is definitely going to be an interesting back story. How about we go back to Sanctuary and talk it all out over there." Mordecai suggested.

"Oh. I almost forgot!" K.C. said excitedly. "Where's Roland?!"

This question has sent emotional shockwaves to everyone listening. For everyone who knows what happened, they wouldn't like breaking it to the explosive kid. Tina seems extremely troubled in that regard. Her previously cheerful attitude was almost completely washed out by her long-held grief of Roland.

"You know Roland?!" Mordecai asked, equally as shocked as the original vault hunters who knew of Roland.

"Yeah! Me and Roland were best buds along with Tina! A couple of years ago, we were at this nasty crabworm cave! That's where Tina and I met Roland!" K.C. said loudly.

"Remember back when we first met, Mordy?" Tina said with a sudden hint of sadness. "This is the 'friend' that Roland and I talked about."

"Oh, so this is the young explosives expert who got taken away from Pandora by force. Yeah, that was a long time ago. I hardly even remember it myself." Mordecai said while rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, that was awfully modest of him in describing me, but, yeah, that sounds about right! So, where's Roland?!" K.C. said loudly.

The original vault hunters already knew the answer to that, hence their sad and avoiding gaze. The corporate vault hunters observe this reaction, half of them confused and the other half seems to have gotten the message. K.C. remains excited to hear the answer directly, though. Tina sees K.C. anticipation and could only display a sad puppy face as she gently hold K.C.'s hand. K.C. face went from anticipated to worried as he looked at Tina's sad puppy face, which prompt Tina to press her face against K.C. shoulder and quietly sob, releasing bitter tears. K.C. gets even more worried as he gently brushes Tina's hair with his hand while she sobs.

"Mordecai." K.C. said, now with a softer voice, which is rarely heard from K.C. When you hear this soft but serious tone of voice from K.C., you know he is not fooling around. "Where the f*ck is Roland?" Mordecai attempts to answer, but it's like the cat had got his tongue and he became increasing hesitant to answer, prompting K.C. to snap. "ANSWER ME!"

Mordecai wipe his face dry as he takes a deep breath to calm himself before turning to face K.C. and said, "Why don't I show you instead?"

* * *

"GRRRHRHRHRHRH! GRRRRRHHRHRHR!" K.C. cried intensely as he had realized that one of his best friends is dead. K.C. grits his teeth as he tries very hard to hold back his tears and snot coming out from his eyes and nose, but he is simply too grief-stricken. As he kneels down on the dirt ground, he uses one of his arms to wipe tears and snot off his face while using the other to repeatedly punch the ground out of frustration. Tina was there by his side to comfort him by softly brushing and patting his back. Displaying right in front of them is the statue of Roland to commemorate him as a brave hero.

The Blue Moby has landed on the memorial of which both the statue of Roland and Bloodwing are present. The sun of Pandora was about to set as everyone stands around the area of the memorial, calmly embracing the cliff's windy breeze.

"Bloodwing." Monty said as he stares up at the large Bloodwing statue. "You have died as you have lived: a proud and loyal bird to a great master." Monty then proceeds to take a knee as he take off his cowboy hat to cover his heart. When he got up, Mordecai was beside him, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder, indicating thanks for him paying respects to the dead.

"So this is the previous leader and the great founder of the Crimson Raiders, huh?" Eugene said as he looked up at the statue of Roland. "He must have been an amazing guy."

"You could say that. He had done a lot of incredible stuff and brought change to Pandora." Axton said reminiscently. "Not many people could have done what he did. He is a true hero."

"Hmph." Selena grunted as she is standing calmly with her hands crossed. Axton heard the grunt, which ticks him off a little.

"Is there something you want to say, Hyperion representative?" Axton said as he turned to face Selena.

"You claim that Roland is a hero, but is he really? A true hero who sacrifices himself to bring change to Pandora?" Selena said grimly as she walks slowly towards Axton. "He's dead now and all I see are bandits roaming rampant and lawlessness present throughout the planet. Change has yet to be seen." Selena then turns around, facing away from Axton before coldly saying, "Now, if I were to consider someone to be the hero of Pandora … it would be someone else entirely."

Almost everyone knows who Selena is talking about, and it is not looking good. This is starting to form a rift between the corporate vault hunters and the Crimson Raiders. Tension is growing high, and it seems to be only a matter of time before one of them snaps and light the whole mess on fire.

"Now listen here, you Hyperion Jack-obsessed b*tc-" Axton said intimidatingly before being cut off by someone.

"Axton!" K.C. shouted. He is still sobbing a little and tears and snot are still dripping from his face, but he manages to finally stand. Axton stares back at K.C. as K.C. walks past him and faces Selena. K.C. expression now went from grief-stricken to intimidatingly angry.

"Take back your words." K.C. said with a low but serious tone of voice. He barely manages to keep his voice from trembling, yet they still display a strong hint of aggression. Selena, however, seems unfazed by it.

"If I do not, what are you going to do?" Selena said with an equal amount of intimidation.

"Listen, K.C. you don't need to-" Axton said as he tries to hold back K.C., which is immediately reacted by K.C. shaking away.

"Roland is my friend, and Tina's friend, and your friend, which makes us friends! But Roland was killed by Handsome Jack, which was Hyperion, which was followed by this cold-hearted b*tch right here! However, we need to work together to take out Atlas so we cannot afford conflict between corporate vault hunters and Crimson Raiders. Therefore, problems should be dealt internally!" K.C said loudly and quickly to prevent revealing any trembling of his voice. That speech, although loud, was rather mature coming from K.C. Even the other corporate vault hunters were surprised, thinking that Roland must have really meant a lot to him. "Now, I'm going to ask you again … Take back your words!"

Selena turn to face K.C. and standing sternly before saying, "Make me."

This has sparked the rage within K.C., enough for him to charge recklessly into Selena like a bull charging to a red cape. K.C. immediately attacks Selena with a fury of kicks, followed by a fury of punches, both of which is easily dodged or parried by Selena. The Crimson Raiders seems concerned by the fighting, thinking that they should be stopping it, but was halted by the corporate vault hunters. Axton, Gaige, and Tina are halted by Eugene. Zer0 is halted by Kazuki. Salvador is halted by Mama Jaws. Maya, Krieg, and Ellie are halted by Oleg and Brandon. Mordecai is halted by Monty.

"Believe me. You might think you're helping, but you'll only get in the way." Eugene said smugly.

"We've known them longer than you have. We know how this is going to end." Kazuki said elegantly.

"Those skaglickers wanna let out some steam. I'd say we let' em have at it instead of letting it build up like a bad case of tacos on Tuesdays." Mama Jaws said with a wide grin on her face.

"This may be paradoxical, but the best way to stop the fighting is to let the fighting happen." Monty said calmly while chewing on a talk of wheat.

Meanwhile, the camera crew was watching the fight from the sidelines intriguingly as they discuss something.

"Shouldn't we be recording this?" Patrick said sternly as he face towards Xiao Lan, the cameraman, and Camtrap.

"Way ahead of you." Xiao Lan said cheerfully as she pointed a finger at the cameraman, who is already holding a camera and recording the fight progress. Camtrap is in the process of recording the fight as well.

"Master, is it right to record this? Shouldn't we help stop the fight?" Camtrap said innocently.

"Oh, Camtrap. I'd love to. But I don't want to get slaughtered when trying to stop what are basically two experts of killing in a fight of rage. It's better that we record this and hope that future generations can learn from these mistakes." the cameraman said, trying to sound as innocently as possible.

"Don't listen to your master. What we all really want is to capture the precious footage so we could broadcast it to the world and get high ratings." Xiao Lan said cheerfully. "Nothing beats the drama and tension between two corporate vault hunters going all out in a battle when it comes to capturing the attention of those dumb, lazy, and impressionable viewers."

"Xiao Lan, what did I tell you about maintaining the innocence of my lovely Camtrap?" the cameraman said irritatingly.

"The only way it could possibly be better is if they are both naked and drenched in oil and use exclusively grappling moves towards very sensitive parts of their bodies." Patrick said with absolutely no sense of sarcasm in his voice as he is rubbing his chin.

"Patrick! You're not helping! Also, when did you become another Xiao Lan?!" the cameraman snapped.

Meanwhile, the fight continues on. K.C. relentlessly charges into Selena with a wide array of large haymakers and flying roundhouse kicks while Selena blocks them easily with a tightly guarded stance. At certain moments, Selena even countered K.C. attacks with throws, causing K.C. to slam to the ground very hard. However, K.C. body is somehow durable enough to get back up from those takedowns with ease. As they exchange blows, they also exchange words as well.

"Your attacks are reckless and predictable, leaving yourself wide open. I could take you down without even using my gun." Selena taunted as she is dodging and blocking K.C. attacks.

"I don't need a gun to kick your ass! My fists demands retribution and you aren't going to like it when it hits you! To the EXTRE-" K.C. said loudly while attacking before being interrupted by a hard palm strike to the face by Selena. That strike was forceful enough to knock back K.C. several meters. When K.C. got back up, he noticed that his nose is actually bleeding a little. Tina watched from afar and couldn't help but feel her tiny heart ache a little, seeing K.C. being hurt like that.

"K.C.! K.C.!" Tina shouted as she tries to push towards K.C. while being held back by Eugene and the other corporate vault hunters. She can already feel a couple of tear drops dripping down from her eyes. K.C. saw Tina feeling worried and couldn't help but feel even more frustrated.

"You couldn't even lay a finger on me. You have no business protecting people or hunting vaults, let alone telling other people what to do." Selena said coldly.

"You not the one to talk to me like that! I bet you don't even have anyone to protect!" K.C. said loudly as he pointed a finger at Selena. His voice is barely containing his overwhelming mix of intense emotions. "You're just a lone wolf, only caring about yourself! Doesn't care who you step on as long as you and only you get to the top! You don't know about friendship or true love, so don't act like you know! SHUT THE F*CK UP! TO THE EXTREME!"

Contrary to what the others may think, Selena does know about friendship and true love, and not in the way that everybody assumes. She had experienced camaraderie and she had lost it. She had achieved love and is now being restrained by it. No one can know what she had truly experienced and she understood that. She is however still pissed off by how K.C. assumes that she doesn't know about those things. It's a type of anger that could never be understood, and yet it is still a strong type of anger indeed.

"Why don't you back up your words with action this time?" Selena said menacingly as she puts up a fighting stance, which only taunts K.C. even further. "Give me everything you got. I haven't even started warming up yet."

That was the last straw K.C. could take as an insult. Selena is clearly underestimating him and he really doesn't like being underestimated.

"Don't you DARE look down at me!" K.C. shouted as he makes one more charge at Selena, this time more intense and angry than ever. As he basically roared like a wild animal and sprinting towards Selena, Selena maintained her calm and cool composure while steadying herself in a fighting stance. Some of the corporate vault hunters had recognized that stance and immediately knows what's up.

"Oh boy." Monty said as he is basically covering his eyes by lowering his cowboy hat indicating that he does not what to watch what is going to happen next.

"I can't look." Kazuki said softly as she turns around to avoid looking directly at the match.

"Ha! So she's really going to do that, huh?! Man, I feel bad for the kid already." Mama Jaws laughed.

"Heh, this I going to be interesting to watch." Eugene said smugly as he take out his comb to comb his hair casually.

"What? What exactly is going to happen?" Gaige asked curiously.

"Just wait and see." Eugene said.

What happened afterwards is almost like a Street Fighter match. As K.C. almost approach Selena to unleash his rage, Selena suddenly delivers a quick set of hand-to-hand combat moves with lightning fast speed, power, and precision. She first swiftly lowers her body in order to deliver an upward kick to K.C.'s chin, knocking K.C. straight up into the sky. Then, Selena jumped on top of K.C. while K.C. is in mid-air so Selena could land a devastating axe-kick to his chest, slamming him straight back to ground. Selena then lifts K.C. back up to the ground with one hand and deliver a fury of punches and elbow strikes to his chest area and face before following it up with a backhand punch to the face, slamming K.C. back to the ground. Then Selena uses two hands to basically fling K.C. off the ground and into the air before landing two consecutive flying knee kicks right into his lower back. Afterwards, while K.C. is still barely able to stand from that ordeal, Selena follows up with another series of kicks targeted at various locations before finishing it up with a sidekick right into K.C.'s stomach and backwards snap kick right into K.C.'s face.

K.O.!

K.C. could barely talk or move at this point. As he is now lying on the ground, his face and various locations of his body is covered with bruises. He can also feel his bones broken at a dozen other places. K.C. can only swallow his pride as he gradually loses consciousness and faints due to this ordeal.

"K.C.!" Tina shouted as she finally manages to reach K.C.'s bruised body, which she later promptly tries to wrap her arms around it to comfort him.

"Woah! That was brutal! Do you think he's going to be okay?" Gaige said with concern as she walks towards K.C. to take a look at him.

"Eh, he'll be fine." Mama Jaws said as she stands besides Tina and K.C. to reassure them. "This is not the only time he's beaten up like that, believe me. If that Hyperion chick really wanted to him dead, she wouldn't even bother pulling up all those moves."

"That was quite an impressive move though, to be able to unleash that many martial arts moves in such a short time. I don't think I'd be able to do that. However, K.C. is a tough kid. I doubt I'd even be able to survive something like that if I were him." Monty said with slight admiration towards Selena and also slight concern and pride towards K.C.

As Selena brushes off dirt from her battlesuit and walk towards the Blue Moby, she said to the group, "If you guys are done chatting, carry that kid and get back on board the airship. We got a flying city to go back to."

Now that there is a bit of fear mixed with a bit of hatred and mistrust towards the Hyperion specialist, there is not much the vault hunters are willing to say to Selena, so the boarding of the Blue Moby by all of the people present was mostly a quiet process. Yet there are still some others among the group that couldn't help but feel even more interested in the Hyperion specialist the more ruthless and cold she acts towards others. Only time will tell if that is a good thing or a bad thing.


	25. Initiative Plan

**Author's Note: ****Wooh! Milestone for hitting 25 chapters and reaching over 100k words. Gotta say, thanks for all your support and comments. Really mean a lot to me when writing this awesome fanfic. Now here's some response to some of your questions:**

* * *

**#1. Any chance of the Eridians coming in and assisting the Brands and coming up with their own line of weaponry?**

**Funny you'd ask about the Eridians. They are going to be an integral part of the story later on, although not in the way you'd expect. Also, at first I haven't planned to have any Eridian weaponry added to the story, but that seems like an interesting idea, so things might change.**

**#2. Is it weird that I have a crush on Mama Jaws?**

**Lolz! No, it is not weird at all. Be careful when she wants to give you a BJ though. I heard she's a biter. *wink wink nudge nudge.**

* * *

**Anyway, again thank you for all your support. I'd appreciate it if you favorite, follow, and/or comment on my story. As always, enjoy the reads, motherf*cker!**

* * *

Chapter 25: Initiative Plan

It is relatively quiet in Sanctuary right now. Maybe because after that horrible ordeal, no one really has anything to say. Everyone feels scared and insecure as the dread for another attack coming their way and that makes Lilith feel even more worried. But that is just one of the many things she is worrying right now.

Lilith is currently in Dr. Zed's clinic right now, pacing back and forth restlessly as she waits for Brick to be awake and back on his feet again. Brick is physically the strongest among the group of the four original vault hunters. Yet, Lilith still can't help but feel worried about Brick's condition. From the moment Lilith encounters Lieutenant Sheldon and the Crimson Knights, she knows she has encountered an enemy unlike anything she and her group have faced before. This enemy could top the Crimson Lance and, dare to say, even top Handsome Jack in power and ruthlessness. Even though they got help from the corporate vault hunters, Lilith still isn't sure how much she can trust and rely on them just yet. As Lilith mentally sort out this situation, it seems that it is a lot more complicated than it appears to be.

As Lilith stares at the unconscious Brick lying on a hospital bed inside Dr. Zed's clinic, she couldn't help but let out a tired sigh and become even more impatient as the seconds tick away. Dr. Zed, meanwhile, is also inside the clinic and appearing to be sorting and cleaning medical equipment right next to Lilith.

"When is Brick going to wake up, Zed?" Lilith asked impatiently.

"You keep asking me the same question over and over again and you are going to get the same answer, Lilith. He'll wake up when he's recovered enough to do so." Dr. Zed answered as he continues to clean his medical equipment.

"I thought you would have a more specific answer than that." Lilith said annoyingly.

"Relax. Brick is a tough fellow. Also, even though his wound is bad, it isn't life-threatening. You just got to be patient. He might wake up sooner than you'd expect." Dr. Zed said as he wipes his bloody hands with a towel and gently patted Lilith on the shoulder.

"I hope you're right." Lilith said.

As soon as they finish the conversation, Brick began to open his eyes. As he tries to get back up, he felt a slight stinging pain in his abdomen, where his wound is. Despite of that, he is still able to get up as he is now currently sitting on the edge of his hospital bed.

"Man, that hurts like a b*tch. Too bad it's gonna take a lot more to bring me down." Brick said energetically as he clutches on his stomach, trying to act tough.

Lilith and Dr. Zed saw Brick waking up and are immediately filled with joy. As Lilith and Dr. Zed approaches Brick, Lilith slings an arm over Brick's shoulders to adjust him into a more comfortable sitting position on the hospital bed.

"Brick! You're finally awake." Lilith said with hints of joy in her tone.

"Well, of course. And I'm damn well gonna give that punk-ass Lieutenant a taste of my fists once I go after him." Brick said confidently.

"Easy there. You still need to take your time in recovering. Also, a lot has happened while you were out. I gotta bring you up to speed." Lilith said.

"What do you mean? Also, where's Mordecai?" Brick asked as he looked around the clinic.

"Heh, sit down tight. This is going to be a long story. Now, where should I start?" Lilith said as she ponders onto the story.

Lilith explained to Brick about her faking in giving up the vault key to the Crimson Knights, about teleporting the three pieces of the vault key all across Pandora, about the arrival of the corporate vault hunters and striking a deal with them, about how the fast-travel system is not working and that Mordecai has to accompany the corporate vault hunters into bringing the team back to Sanctuary on an airship. Brick listened intriguingly as she explained.

"What?! You're just gonna give away half of what's inside the vault just so you could team up with those greedy corporate assholes? Have you gone crazy, Lil?" Brick asked astonishingly.

"Listen, I know you might not like my plan. But these Crimson Knights seem capable of and willing to doing anything in order to get to the vault, and the corporate vault hunters are after the same objective. Rather than having enemies on both sides, it's better to cooperate with one of them in order to take the other one out. I'm not taking any chances when it comes to the safety of the citizens of Sanctuary." Lilith explained.

"So you're gonna take your chances in these corporate mercs?" Brick questioned.

"At the moment, I'm not sure either. Look, we'll see how it goes as we work with them. Who knows? They might not be so bad after all." Lilith said.

"Huh. Well, I might not like your plan, Lil, but I trust your instincts. However, I will have to meet these corporate vault hunters myself before I make any judgements." Brick said.

"I'm sure Mordecai and the others will be coming back with them anytime now." Lilith said as she crossed her arms.

Speaking of the devil, Mordecai just entered Dr. Zed's clinic and saw Lilith and Brick, seemingly happy that Brick has recovered.

"Brick! You got back up!" Mordecai said joyfully as he approaches Brick to give him an arm-wrestle hand shake.

"Hell yeah, I am! And ready to kick some major ass! By the way, I heard from Lilith about the corporate vault hunters." Brick said.

"You did, huh? I see." Mordecai replied.

"Mordecai, you came back. Does that mean-" Lilith said before being cut off.

"Yep. They are all back, now waiting at Moxxi's bar. Let's all go meet them." Mordecai said before stopping for a moment and approach Dr. Zed. "Oh, by the way, there's someone with broken bones and bruises all over his body. Got any health vials?"

"Gosh darn it! Can you guys go on for a second without getting yourselves hurt?! *Sigh* Yeah, I got 'em." Dr. Zed said before handing Mordecai a couple of health vials.

"Thanks." Mordecai thanked Dr. Zed before pocketing the health vials.

"What are those health vials for? Did someone get hurt on the way here?" Lilith questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, you'll see when you get there." Mordecai said.

* * *

As Lilith, Mordecai, and Brick enter Moxxi's bar, there is a menacing atmosphere. On one side of the bar, you see the six vault hunters (Zer0, Axton, Gaige, Salvador, Maya, Krieg) sitting in a neat line and next to each other while facing the corporate vault hunters sitting on the other side. Axton, Gaige, Salvador, and Maya are sporting mean and suspicious looks as they stare at the corporate vault hunters (as for Zer0 and Krieg, I can't really tell, probably because they are wearing masks or something).

On the other side, you have the corporate vault hunters (Oleg, Kazuki, Monty, Eugene, K.C. Dynamo, Brandon, Mama Jaws, Selena) also sitting together and neatly in a line while staring back at the six vault hunters. Oleg is drinking out of his vodka bottle again. Kazuki is sitting elegantly on the chairs, with hands under her kimono sleeves. Monty is sitting casually on the chairs while chewing on a stalk of wheat. Eugene is calmly brushing his hair with a comb while wearing a smug smile on his face as he leans against the table. K.C. … well, he had seen better days, for he is currently sitting on the floor unconscious and has bruises all over his body. Fortunately, he had Tina wrapping her arms around him as she gently brushes his dreadlocks with her tiny hands, hoping to ease his pain. Brandon is sporting a nervous look on his face as he is twiddling with his fingers while sitting on one of the chairs in a slouched position. Mama Jaws is sitting on one of the tables with one foot on the table and another left dangling towards the floor, sort of in a rude and unmannered position. As she gently and repeatedly taps one of her shoulders with her buzzwrench, indicating her impatience, she is also licking her lips while showing her sharp teeth, indicating she is hungry for flesh. Selena is broodingly laying her back against the wall as she crossed her arms and sports an intimidating look towards the six vault hunters.

Meanwhile, Patrick, Xiao Lan, the cameraman, and Camtrap are sitting by the bar stools next to where Moxxi works, hoping to get a drink. Moxxi, however, seems to be preoccupied with arguing with her daughter Ellie about something. Scooter is with them trying to calm things down between the two.

"Excuse me, I'll have bourbon on the rocks." Patrick said sternly as he sits properly on the bar stool.

"And I'll have a frozen margarita, please." Xiao Lan said with an innocent smile on her face as she sits on the bar stool with her legs crossed.

"*Sigh* I'll just have a bottle of beer. The cheapest one you got." the cameraman said with a tired tone as he slouches on the bar counter, as if he's had a long day.

"Master, can I try some alcohol?" Camtrap said innocently.

"I'm sorry, my sweet and adorable Camtrap, but robots cannot drink." the cameraman said regretfully as he gently patted Camtrap on the head.

"Aww …" Camtrap said disappointingly.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed for today." Moxxi said as she temporarily breaks off from her argument with Ellie just to shoo away the potential customers.

"Aww, what a shame. Seriously, what does it take to get a decent drink around here?" Xiao Lan complained.

Meanwhile, Moxxi continues her argument with Ellie. Both Moxxi and Ellie seems to be at odds with each other while Scooter is in the middle of it, being in an uncomfortable position.

"For the last time, Ma, I'm only comin' here to visit you and Scooter to make sure y'all okay. Now that I've made sure you're safe n' sound, I'm going back to mah garage in the Dust. I'm not stayin' any longer than I have to in Sanctuary." Ellie argued.

"But, dear Ellie, it's dangerous out there in the brutal wasteland." Moxxi said, trying to be seductive in her tone of voice. "It's much safer here in the city where you won't get attacked by those strong-armed military men who you just encountered a while back."

"Oh sure! Instead of livin' out there in the wasteland possibly getting' attacked by soldiers, I can just live here possibly getting' attacked by airships rainin' cannon fire on us." Ellie said sarcastically.

"Ellie …" Moxxi pleaded.

"I hate to argue with ya, Ellie, but Ma's right." Scooter interjected.

"Scooter …" Ellie said annoyingly.

"Think 'bout it. Ya gonna get shot at wherever you go. At least in Sanctuary, ya got family close to ya. When the bullets fly, we could hug close to each other and hold on to each others' private parts. If I'm gonna die, I'd at least die happy." Scooter said casually.

Moxxi and Ellie looked at Scooter with a mild "WTF?!" face before looking at each other.

"Uhh, that not how I would have put it, but it is a sound argument." Moxxi said with a raised eyebrow.

"Really? I highly doubt you could put it any other way." Ellie said with a low-brow face, indicating Moxxi's signature innuendo talk seems to be somewhat genetically inherited, but not in a completely perfect way, if you know what I mean.

"Ellie …" Moxxi pleaded, this time with a seemingly more sincere look on her face. Ellie may be stubborn and independent, but even she would sometimes fall victim to Moxxi's persuasion.

"*Sigh* Fine … I guess I could … stay for a couple of days. But no more than that!" Ellie said uneasily as she rubs the back of her head.

"Oh Ellie!" Moxxi said delightfully as she hugs Ellie. "Thank you for reconsidering your mother's kind words. I'll prepare a room and some clothes for you." Moxxi then proceed to go to the backroom of the bar.

"She's preparin' clothes for me? Will they even fit?" Ellie questioned.

"Alright, Ellie! Ya gonna be staying in Sanctuary with us for a while." Scooter said joyfully as he slings an arm around Ellie's shoulders. "It'll be like ol' times. We gonna fix cars together, play poker together, bathe together, sleep together, read porn mags together, fix cars together … it's gonna be awesome!"

"Hehe, typical Scooter …" Ellie said with a small smile. "C'mon, let's go to your garage. Let see what you have cooked up for your Catch-A-Ride since the last time I came."

"Alright! Scooter and Ellie! CATCH-A-RIDE!" Scooter said excitedly as he pumps a fist in the air. Both Scooter and Ellie then proceed to walk out of the bar to head towards Scooter's garage.

Going back to the vault hunters, once Lilith, Mordecai, and Brick came, they all took notice. Tina, in particular, gently put the unconscious K.C. down against one of the chairs and practically charged at Brick with joy to give him a tight and affectionate hug.

"Brick! You're okay!" Tina said with excitement, almost letting out a joyful tear.

"Heh! Of course, I'm okay. Who do you think I am? I am the Slab King! The Berserker! I eat metal and crap bullets! This ain't nothing!" Brick said confidently as he patted Tina on the head before pounding his chest, signifying his toughness.

"Hell yeah, that's my bro! Pound it, dawg!" Tina said as she exchange an awesome fist bump with Brick. Afterwards, Tina immediately focuses her attention to Mordecai. "So, did you get it?"

"Yeah, I got it." Mordecai said as he took out a couple of health vials.

"Ooh! Gimme! Gimme! K.C. needs it bad!" Tina said excitedly, trying to take the health vials from Mordecai's hands.

"Relax. Let me handle it. You're not as experienced with this stuff as I am. I don't want you to stab him in the wrong places." Mordecai said as he is trying to prevent Tina from getting the health vials off his hands. Then, Mordecai approaches the unconscious K.C. and methodically applied the health vials into K.C.'s body. Gradually, K.C.'s bruises and bones began to heal and he is slowly regaining consciousness. Once K.C. finally manages to stand, he began to make his extreme introductory statement.

"I … AM … AWAKE! For the universe did not begin with a whimper but with a BANG, I shall awake with freshness and awesomeness of a gazillion bajillion foot-pounds of EXPLOSIVE ENERGY!" K.C. said loudly as he starts to flex his various muscles in various positions in an exaggerated kind of way. "Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosiveness! … the essence of a true MAN!"

Suddenly, the tension from before was washed away by the wackiness displayed by the hyperactive and explosive teenager. Most of the people in the bar just look at K.C. with a low-brow stare, thinking he is nothing but an idiot with way too many energy drinks. Some people, however, seem impressed.

"Hmm, I do not know who he is, but I like him already." Brick said intriguingly, indicating he may have a liking towards K.C.

"Yeah, he kinda reminds you of someone else we know, don't you think? Someone who talks loud all the time, muscular, likes showing off, also from Torgue." Lilith said as if she is implying something.

"By the way, who wants to listen to me do a wickedly AWESOME air guitar solo?!" K.C. said loudly before proceed to do a wickedly awesome air guitar solo. "MEOWEWEWEWEWOWOWOEWWWW!"

"Yeah! I'm gonna follow up with my own Tiny Tina's specialty beat-boxing!" Tina said excitedly before dishing out her own specialty beat-boxing and throwing gang signs like a badass rapper. "Boom chic chic Boom chic chic …"

"Wow, he's a mirror image of that guy …" Lilith, Mordecai, and Brick thought as they all stare at K.C with low-brow faces and sweat drops.

"Ahh! I almost forgot!" K.C. said loudly as he stops his air guitar solo to turn around to face Selena and pointing an incriminating finger at her. "Hey, you! Our match hasn't been decided yet! This time, I'm sure as HELL not gonna hold back!" K.C. seems to be more energetic than before as he rotates one of his arms as a warmup. Selena seems unimpressed.

"Heh, kid. You sure don't know when to quit, do you?" Eugene said smugly as he continues to brush his hair.

"Of course not! Roland is my friend! And only REAL MEN should defend the honor and pride of their own friends!" K.C. said loudly with a clenched fist of determination.

"Wait! You know Roland?!" Both Lilith and Brick said shockingly as they intriguingly stare at K.C.

"Yeah, I basically got the same reaction as you guys did when I heard about it. Apparently, this kid is really close to Tina and Roland a couple years back. If you want to get to the specifics, you had to ask him for the full story yourself." Mordecai explained.

"Well, I'll have to listen to what he has to say first." Lilith said suspiciously.

"Wait wait wait, hold on just a sec." Gaige said, interrupting Lilith. "Before we go into everyone's backstory, shouldn't you be giving us some sort of explanation?"

"Yeah, Lil. Working with corporations? … That is not your style." Maya added.

"If you want to change your mind. Make it quick." Salvador said to Lilith and he stares at Mama Jaws with a hint of anger. "My trigger fingers are itching." Mama Jaws could only reply with a smug grin and a lick of the lips as a taunt.

"Please ease your anger/ Fighting in Sanctuary/ I don't recommend." Zer0 said with a cool tone of voice.

Lilith looks at all the vault hunters, both the original and the corporate kind, filled with conflicting tension and thought to herself that this collaboration might not be as easy as it looks. As she let out a tired sigh, she slowly began explaining to everyone at the bar everything that has happened. The invasion of the Crimson Knights. The last-minute rescue done by the corporate vault hunters. The splitting and scattering of the vault key. The interference with the fast-travel system. And everything in between. Hopefully, after all this, the vault hunters will at least try to understand her intentions.

"That's it?!" Axton said surprisingly. "You just so happen to lose the vault key and these guys just so happen to rescue you from those other corporate military dudes from Atlas. Sounds kind of convenient if you'd ask me." Axton then made a narrow-eyed stare at his 'frenemy', Eugene.

"Heh. Axton, always the second-guesser." Eugene said smugly as he continues to casually comb his hair.

"I gotta go with lousy turret commando here." Gaige said with a raised eye-brow, which is replied with Axton stare at Gaige with a hint of being pissed off. "You sure these guys didn't just do another bait-and-switch onto us? Tricking us into thinking they are the good guys, and then when we finally find the vault key 'BAM!' they swipe the vault key from us and try to drive Sanctuary to the ground?"

"I assure you, Gaige-san, that we would do no such thing. Such methods are not in my way of honor, neither is it the way of the Maliwan corporation." Kazuki said elegantly.

"While I question whether the other corporations have her brand of honor, I basically concur with what she said. I can assure you that we did not pull trickery of any sort." Monty said with a friendly smile.

"Well, it wouldn't make sense for them to trick us like that anyway." Maya said as she rubbed her chin, indicating deep thought.

"Maya! Since when are you on their side?" Gaige said shockingly as she turn to stare wide-eyed at Maya.

"Think about it. If they really wanted to know the location of the vault key, they would have captured everyone in Sanctuary and interrogate us until we give them the information." Maya explained. "Having to pull a stunt like that just to make us trust them and then betray us seems too complicated and inefficient. Also, the fact that they didn't capture us despite of interference of the corporate vault hunters means that they need their manpower to be devoted to something else. Something like finding the vault key. Which means that the assumption that they already have a method of locating the vault key is most likely true."

"Kinda makes you wonder, though." Axton added. "Couldn't they just drive us to the ground AND find the vault key? Clearly, for a corporation as big as Atlas, they should have enough manpower to do both. Also, it is safer that way, knowing that we will eventually track down the vault key ourselves and will run into them one way or another."

"You mean that they didn't go running with tails between their legs because they are scared of the ALMIGHTY K.C. DYNAMO?!" K.C said loudly as he flexes his biceps.

"Ha! Maybe they are worried about being near you because having a small dick and a large ego is contagious." Mama Jaws snickered.

"GRRRR! What did you say about my ****?!" K.C. snapped as he turned around to stare angrily at Mama Jaws.

"It's most likely corporate politics." Oleg added to the conversation as he finished drinking from his vodka bottle. "To put it more specifically, Atlas fears the corporate board. Sure, Atlas may be a big corporation, but it is going against seven other big corporations in this vault hunt."

"Hey! Eight corporations if you count Bandit co.!" Mama Jaws pointed out.

"Pfft, Bandit has its own corporation?" Salvador mocked at the idea.

"You shut up, you stinkin' pile of midget turd!" Mama Jaws snapped, which caused the two to exchange angry stares.

"*Sigh*, as I was saying, maybe because the Crimson Knights see that the corporate vault hunters interfering with their mission, they must have thought the corporate board, a group of people representing all these powerful corporations, were involved." Oleg deducted. "Seeing as how they are potentially up against powerful enemies, they decided to make a retreat instead."

"Well, clearly, they aren't scared enough to stay away from Pandora completely." Brandon said with a nervous tone. "Atlas already knows that they would be up against the corporate board before they even came here. The corporate board said it themselves. The CEO of Atlas THREATENED the corporate board to not hunt vaults on Pandora. Atlas isn't scared of the corporate board. The corporate board is scared of Atlas! Oh what are we going to do …?"

"Pfft, you sure this isn't just some kind of bluff that Atlas trying to pull here?" Gaige suspected, before changing to a mocking tone of voice. "Oh look, I'm Atlas. I have a big and powerful army and I'm going to take over your city. What was that? You teleported the vault key? Oops, turns out my army isn't as big and powerful as I said and that I am full of sh*t. Oh well, guess it's time for my retreat. I would really like to stay here and fight, but I'm afraid I might not have enough soldiers to hunt down the vault key if I stay." Gaige then return to her regular tone of voice. "This has got to be a bluff. If Atlas is really that powerful, they wouldn't need to split us up with diversions. They try to trick us into thinking they are all that when they are not just so they'll make us scared of going after the vault."

"Don't let your guard down/ Foe use brain instead of brawn/ Might be deadlier." Zer0 said.

"You don't honestly think Atlas is an actual threat, do you, Zer0?" Gaige said with a smirk as she turns around to look at Zer0.

"Retreating does not always represent a sign of weakness." Selena interjected. "Sometimes it could be a way of allowing the enemy to observe us from a safe distance, to see what move we are going to make and adjust their strategy accordingly. Based on how they engage your group, it is most likely the latter."

"What makes you so sure?" Lilith asked.

"Think about it. The Crimson Knights are able to create a disturbance at very precise and specific locations throughout Pandora because they know these locations have some connection to Sanctuary and to the Crimson Raiders." Selena explained. "Also, using special weapons and devices that seem to be tailor-made to take down the group of vault hunters left in Sanctuary, they are able to overpower you without breaking a sweat. This indicates that they have done extensive research of each and every one of the vault hunters in the Crimson Raiders."

"But how would they know which one of us left Sanctuary and which ones stayed?" Mordecai asked.

"My guess is, it didn't matter. They might have the gear to take out any of the vault hunters no matter who stayed to protect Sanctuary." Selena said coldly. "We might be facing an enemy more dangerous than we initially feared."

This statement has made most of the vault hunters in the room a little bit nervous. An enemy more dangerous than they initially feared. The six vault hunters and the Crimson Raiders have took down Handsome Jack and even the Warrior itself. Could this new threat be more powerful than that? They can only wonder. Suddenly, K.C. caught everyone's attention by climbing up on one of the tables and standing straight and proud as he was about to say something.

"F*CK … THAT … SH*T!" K.C. said loudly. "I don't give a crap how powerful they are or how smart they are or how big their cocks are! They messed with Sanctuary! They killed innocents! THEY DARE TRY TO HURT MY PRECIOUS TINA! I am going to make sure they got a mortar shot right up the ass! I SWEAR BY IT, AS A TRUE MAN! TO … THE … EXTREME!"

Despite of mentioning of comparing the size of genitals, K.C.'s speech was relatively inspirational. Most of the vault hunters present now went from being slightly nervous to being slightly motivated, as well as being impressed by K.C.'s audacity.

"HELL YEAH! K.C., you the man! THE BOSS!" Tina cheered next to K.C. as she jumps in excitement. "These motherhumpas thinks they're hot sh*t, they think WRONG! We're gonna BURN and EAT ALL THEIR BABIES!"

"Heh, kid, I like your attitude. Those Atlas bastards are gonna get a beating!" Brick said excitedly as he cracks his knuckles.

"Don't forget they gonna be eating lead out of my guns! Those pendejos won't know what hit them!" Salvador said as he proudly pounds his chest.

"Alright! Bring it on! Deathtrap and I will rip them to shreds!" Gaige said as she pumps a fist into the air.

"Can't wait to chew on their meat and suck on their bones …" Mama Jaws said with an anticipated grin as she licks her lips.

"Kid, you sure how to move a crowd." Lilith said as she was impressed by K.C. "Alright, here's the plan. Tannis is working on locating the three pieces of the vault key right now, so only until she finishes would we be able to go after the vault key. Meanwhile, the fast-travel system is being tampered with, so some of us need to take care of that." Lilith then turns to look at Selena. "You said you know the source of the disturbance?"

"Yes." Selena said as she steps into the middle of the group and display a miniature hologram right out her left gauntlet. The hologram seems to be some sort of map. "As I ran a scan of Pandora through the fast-travel secondary mapping network, it seems that there is only one of the facilities mentioned interfering with the fast travel system that is on this planet right now." As Selena speaks, the hologram changes accordingly. "In fact, I've even manage to locate its exact position. It is actually not that far from here. If we were to take our airship to get there, we should be there in about half a day. If everything goes smoothly, we could go in, destroy the 'Breakdown' machine, get out, and return to Sanctuary in about a full day."

"If everything goes smoothly, huh? You sure make it sound easy. This is Atlas we're talking about. There most likely going to be soldiers, turrets, and what not guarding that place." Eugene said as he continues to comb his hair. "That is not counting the possibility of Atlas tracking us down with an air fleet and shooting us down before we even get there."

"I never said it was going to be easy." Selena remarked. "Fine then. We'll overestimate a little bit. A day and a half and we'll have the fast-travel system back online." Selena then turns off the hologram, clearly finished explaining what needs to be known.

"With the fast-travel system working, we would be able to travel across Pandora and look for the vault key much more easily." Mordecai said. "However, not everyone can go. Somebody's got to stay and protect Sanctuary in case the Crimson Knights come back again."

"What about people in Overlook? If Atlas sees them as to having some connection with us, wouldn't they try to attack it again?" Brick pointed out.

"Not likely. The purpose of attacking Overlook is to attract the vault hunters into going to help, therefore splitting us up." Lilith replied. "They know we lost the fast-travel system and couldn't help Overlook, even if we wanted to, so they shouldn't even bother. If they are still going to attack Overlook to manipulate us psychologically … well, that's a different story. But hopefully, it won't come to that."

"*Sigh* I hope you're right, Lil." Brick said with a hint of being worried.

"So, we split into two groups." Maya clarified. "One will go destroy the interference machine and restore the fast-travel system. The other will stay and protect Sanctuary … who's going where?"

Everyone took a moment to think about. The path to the fast-travel interference machine could be heavily defended, making it a fairly dangerous choice. However, there is also a great possibility of the Crimson Knights coming back to attack Sanctuary and hoping to destroy it, which means those who wish to protect it doesn't fare any better in terms of safety. This might be a fairly tough decision, but it is ultimately made by the leader.

"Well, this should be easy enough. The corporate vault hunters will restore the fast-travel system and my guys will stay here and guard Sanctuary." Lilith said.

Everyone was slightly shocked at Lilith's suggestion, but judging from the looks on their faces, some of them agree with the choice while some of them do not.

"Heh, may I make a guess that this setup is a little bit biased?" Eugene said smugly.

"Deal with it. You guys just came here so I don't expect you to know the ins and outs of Sanctuary, nor do you have a personal stake in it if Sanctuary gets destroyed." Lilith said as she put her hands on her hips to demonstrate authority. "Also, this Hyperion rep here is definitely going to go take care of the fast-travel interference machine, since she seems to know a lot about it. I assume that if you corporate vault hunters could work well enough together to take down one of Crimson Knight's airships, you'll work well enough together to infiltrate the facility and take down the machine as well hold your own against whatever Atlas throws at you over there."

"Heh, now that sounds like a more strategic train of thought. However, don't assume that just because we work well in that one mission that we'll work well on the long run." Eugene said smugly. "We are, after all, corporate vault hunters. We are meant to be participants in a competition. Try to take down other competitors and reach for the top is still our primary goal."

"Well, too bad. You all agreed to do whatever I say when you made the deal. So if I tell you to go pick a fight against Atlas. You are going to do it." Lilith said with a mean and determined look in her face.

Eugene looks at Lilith with a smirk. That indicates that he is moderately impressed with how Lilith establishes authority and tells him what to do. Eugene usually doesn't like being told what to do, but he does give props to people who challenge him. Lilith isn't simply ordering Eugene. She is challenging him.

"Well now, let's not pick a fight over who goes where." Monty said with a friendly smile as he slings an arm around Eugene's shoulder. "I'm sure it doesn't matter either way as long as we reach for the same goal. I personally don't mind which."

"Heh, aren't you the peacekeeper of the group. Fine, then. We'll do it your way." Eugene said smugly.

"I see no problem with it either." Kazuki added elegantly. "I'm sure everyone else would agree." Kazuki turn around to see the rest of the group to see that they all nodded in agreement.

"Well, we have no problems with the plan, right guys?" Axton said as he turns to see his group nodding as well.

"Alright. It's settled then. The corporate vault hunters take care of restoring the fast-travel system while the Crimson Raiders stay here to protect Sanctuary." Lilith said motivationally. "Remember, these guys from Atlas mean serious business. This is a war we are going to be fighting, so I need everyone to be in their best shape to be ready to kick some ass. Everybody understand?!"

"Yeah!" everyone said simultaneously with excitement.

Lilith sees how enthusiastic the entire group is and can't help but reply it with a smirk, confident that they are going to do just fine. Suddenly, Selena proceed to walk out of Moxxi's bar before she is halted by someone.

"Where are you going?" Lilith asked.

"Isn't it obvious? We are going to the facility and restore the fast-travel system." Selena said coldly.

"Ehhh? We're going there now?" Mama Jaws complained.

"Of course. Time is of the essence. The sooner we restore the fast-travel system, the sooner we could find the vault key." Selena said coldly.

Suddenly, Xiao Lan slowly walks towards Selena and place a hand gently on Selena's shoulder as she looks at her with an innocent smile. Selena could only reply with a raised eyebrow and a sweat drop.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Selena said uncomfortably.

"Come on, do we really need to go that quickly?" Xiao Lan said cheerfully as she grasp on both of Selena's hands with her own, which only made Selena more uncomfortable as she blushes a little. "I mean, the sun is already down, and we are all tired. Why don't we stay over for the night and go to the facility tomorrow? Tonight, we could all hang out and mingle and get to know each other better." Xiao Lan then cheerfully turns around to talk to the others. "Wouldn't you all like that, everyone?"

"I agree with the old evil hag right there!" K.C said loudly, which prompt Xiao Lan to look angrily at K.C. thinking 'WHO ARE YOU CALLING "OLD HAG"?!' "Besides, I need to hang out with Tina some more and to tell you guys our EXTREMELY AWESOME backstory!" K.C. and Tina then share a high-five.

"Come to think of it, don't Axton and Eugene also have a history together?" Gaige said before displaying a sly look. "I would like to know more about that."

"Gaige, I am not telling you sh*t!" Axton said grumpily.

"Heh, no problem. I'll fill in all the details." Eugene said smugly as he continues to comb his hair.

"Eugene!" Axton snapped at Eugene with a warning glare.

"By the way, don't the princess and the assassin also have a story as well? Not to mention the bird hunter and the cowboy, as well as the mother of bandits and the gunzerker." Eugene said as he pointed to each of the pairs. "Man, we've got a lot of story-telling to do. This is gonna be a long night."

"I wouldn't mind telling them about our past if you wouldn't mind, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said politely.

"Let them know our past/ Might strengthen camaraderie/ I agree to this." Zer0 said.

"Heh, looks like we have a lot to talk about." Mordecai said as he rubs the back of is head.

"No doubt. Ahh, the memories really takes us back, don't it?" Monty added with a friendly smile.

"Heh, I wouldn't mind telling them 'bout our story. Unless someone doesn't want to let the word out." Mama Jaws as she stare slyly at Salvador.

"What?! Puta, I'm not afraid of you! Bring it on!" Salvador said angrily as he pointed an incriminating finger at Mama Jaws.

"See, everyone's excited to stay here for the night. So, how about it?" Xiao Lan said, displaying cutesy eyes as she stares at Selena. Selena initially feels irritated, but eventually submits to her suggestion.

"*Sigh*, fine. We'll stay for the night. But we are taking off first thing in the morning." Selena said coldly.

"Yay!" Xiao Lan said cheerfully as she joyfully skips back to her seat at the bar stool while Selena leans back to the walk broodingly.

"Alright!" K.C. said loudly as he stands on one of the tables with pride as everyone finds a seat to sit comfortably so they could listen to the tale. "Listen up, people, for this is going to be a tale of epic proportions, about me traveling across wastelands of Pandora, about the rise of Tina as the #1 demolitionist expert on this planet, and about all the sh*t that is about to be EXTREMELY F*CKED UP! TO … THE … EXTR-"

"By the way, is anyone hungry?" Monty said kindly, which interrupted K.C. introduction.

"GRRR! You just interrupted my flow, man!" K.C. said loudly.

"Ehehehe, sorry." Monty said with slight embarrassment.

"Hmm, come to think of it, I haven't eaten anything since this afternoon." Gaige said as she patted on her stomach, which seems to be growling a little bit.

"Yeah. Also, we could use something to drink. Sure hope Moxxi has something for us." Axton said while scratching his head.

"Well, good luck trying." Xiao Lan said cheerfully with a hint of being pissed off. "She had the nerve to close the bar tonight, just when we are coming to get something to drink."

"Hang on, maybe I could convince her to give us something." Lilith said as she walks towards behind the bar to find Moxxi.

"Meanwhile, I'll go get some leftovers and snacks from my personal pantry in the Blue Moby." Monty said kindly as he proceeds to get up.

"Hmm, I'm a little suspicious of something being cooked by this guy." Gaige said suspiciously.

"Oh, believe me. You should definitely try his stuff. It's taste so good that it is to die for. Best grub I've eaten in my skaglickin' life on Pandora." Mama Jaws said while slightly drooling from her mouth.

"REGARDLESS OF POISONS, I SHALL SWALLOW IT LIKE A HORSE!" Krieg said out loud.

"Well, if Krieg wants to try it, I'll try it too." Maya added.

"Ok then. Since I'll be carrying a lot of stuff from off the airship, I'm gonna need some help. Any volunteers?" Monty said.

"Hey, cameraman. Go with the cowboy to get the food." Patrick said sternly.

"Why me?!" the cameraman said whiningly.

"Just do it. It's not like you're doing anything useful anyway." Patrick said sternly.

"But, but … oh, screw you." the cameraman said with disgruntlement as he follows Monty to get the food.

"Ok, fellas. Wait for us to get the food. We'll be back in a jiffy." Monty said as he waved the crew a momentary goodbye.


	26. Explosive Chemistry

Chapter 26: Explosive Chemistry

"I'm back. Sorry for the wait." Monty said kindly as he and the cameraman came back to Moxxi's bar with a large burlap bag and a faucet barrel. While Monty has no problem carrying the heavy bag on his shoulder, the cameraman is seemingly exhausted as he is carrying the faucet barrel.

"I got the beer. Here you go, guys." Lilith said as she is carrying two metal buckets filled with bottles of beer and ice. She placed the buckets on the table and start handing out the beer to everyone (well, anyone who is within drinking age). Only Brick, Axton, Salvador, Mama Jaws, Eugene, Brandon, and Oleg grabbed the beer that Lilith offered.

Someone apparently wants a beer even when wasn't offered one.

"Ooh, me! Gimme one! Gimme!" K.C. said loudly as he stretches out his hand to try to take one of the beers.

"Not a chance, kiddo." Lilith replied while moving the beer away from K.C.

"Aww, cmon! 14 is the new 21!" K.C. said loudly while displaying an angry pouting face.

"No, it isn't." Lilith said with party-pooping strictness (Lolz, poop… okay, I'll shut up now.)

"Hey, you didn't say anything when I had some whiskey at the Rotgut Distillery." Gaige pointed out.

"Damn it, Gaige. I thought we agreed never to mention it again." Lilith snapped.

"Hey hey fellas. Don't worry about missing out. You still get to try on some of my wonderful creations." Monty said kindly as he gently put down the bag.

"What do you have there?" Gaige asked curiously.

"Heh. Rakk jerky and cool mint tea." Monty said as he opened up the bag, revealing that it is indeed filled with rakk jerky in small bite-size pieces.

"Ooh, rakk jerky. A delicacy on Pandora." Salvador commented with slight anticipation. "Usually, it tastes like leather, though. Only those with good teeth and stomach could truly enjoy it." Salvador's comment made some people feel slight disgust and nervousness.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Mordecai added. "I've tried Monty's cooking and, believe me when I say it, he can make anything taste good."

"Well, there is only one way to find out." Gaige said with slight nervousness as she and a couple of the other vault hunters approach the bag of jerky. She shrugged a little before taking a bite out of a piece of the jerky. What she tasted amazed her. There was an overflowing of flavor within each bite of the jerky. It's so savory, yet provides a unique spiciness, saltiness, and sweetness all mixed together. She could have sworn she never had tasted jerky so delicious in her entire life.

"OMG! It's so good!" Gaige said as she is basically stuffing her cheeks with the awesome jerky. "I could have sworn I've never tasted jerky so delicious in my entire life!"

The others were intrigued as they proceed to take a bite at the jerky as well. They realized Gaige was right and that the jerky was so good, it might make you jizz your pants. (Sorry if this description was in bad taste.)

"Mmm, you're right." Axton added. "This is really good. Are you sure you actually made it and didn't just bought it from somewhere?"

"No estoy de acuerdo (I disagree), I know what rakk taste like, and this is definitely it. They don't usually sell rakk meat outside of Pandora and I can't recall any rakk meat sold around here that taste this good. What's your secret?" Salvador said while amazed.

"Heh, just the right amount of ingredients and the precise method of smoking." Monty said with a friendly smile. "Once you tested enough flavors of different ingredients at different conditions, you sorta get a feel of what works and what doesn't. For the ingredients, I used some that are commonly found in the kitchen as well as some found exclusively on Pandora. As well as the typical stuff like garlic, vinegar, salt, and pepper, I've also used the seeds of firemelons for spiciness and honey of varkids for sweetness."

"Varkids make honey?" Gaige asked shockingly.

"Even I don't know that." Salvador added shockingly.

"Well, varkids usually keep their storage of honey someplace safe, like underground." Monty explained. "You have to know precisely where to look to find them. If you haven't noticed, there are actually three types of jerky in the bag: salty flavored, sweet flavored, and spicy flavored, each with slightly different coloring. You're welcome to try them all."

"Ooh really?! I want to try!" Gaige said with eyes sparking with excitement.

"Hey! Save some for the rest of us!" Mama Jaws said as more and more vault hunters gather around the bag to grab handfuls of the delicious jerky.

"Hell yeah! Jerky is the gift of gods and the snack of REAL MEN!" K.C. said loudly as he is trying to get himself some jerky for him and Tina. "One shall not get to live and die without experience tasting jerky of EXTREME excellence, TO THE EXTREME!"

"Alright! After what I've been through, I could eat a whole bag of this stuff." Brick said excitedly as he chomps on the jerky by the handful.

"I am curious, Mr. Jakobs." Xiao Lan said cheerfully as she approaches Monty. "You said something about smoking. Last time I remembered, we don't have a smoker in the airship's kitchen."

"Oh, I just made a makeshift smoker using an empty barrel drum, which are easily to find on Pandora, apparently." Monty explained. "As for smoking fuel, I used the wood that is stripped from all the Jakobs guns I found lying around."

"Wooh, you use wood from Jakobs gun stocks to smoke these? Isn't wood like really expensive?" Axton said with awe.

"Eeh, don't worry about it. The Jakobs corporation has wood harvesting areas all over the galaxy. When I joined the corporate vault hunt event, they gave me a bunch load of guns that I rarely need to use anyway, so might as well use them to cook something delicious, am I right?" Monty said kindly.

As some of the vault hunters are busy stuffing their cheeks with jerky, others went to try some of the mint tea from the faucet barrel.

"Hey, you guys. Try some of this mint tea." Maya said as after she took a sip from her cup of mint tea. "It's really refreshing." As Maya's words intrigued the vault hunters to shift their attention towards the barrel of tea, Maya was also in the process of grabbing an extra cup of mint tea and handfuls of jerky to share it with Krieg, which Krieg gladly accepted.

"I SHALL ENJOY THE MEAT OF CANCER LIKE I ENJOY SUCKING SPINAL FLUID OUT OF A GOLIATH'S SPINE!" Krieg blabbered as he sit down on the floor and partially remove his masks to enjoy the delicacies.

"Well, that's one way to say you like it." Maya said with a raised eyebrow and a light smile, seemingly glad that Krieg is enjoying himself like the rest of the people in the bar.

Almost everybody is enjoying themselves as they chat cheerfully while consuming the delicacies. Some, however, remains to stay relatively cool and anti-social. Selena, especially, haven't made any attempt to eat or drink anything or socialize with anyone as she only continues to lay her back against the wall broodingly. At the very least, Kazuki and Zer0 are having a conversation.

"Aren't you going to eat, Zer0-sensei?" Kazuki said politely.

"You already know/ I lack need for consumption/Of food and water." Zer0 said in his signature neutral tone of voice. "What about yourself?/ Eat or drink or chat with friends/ You seem too quiet."

"I am fine. I am raised in a dignified lifestyle and will not consume their offered meals, despite of their rumors of excellent taste." Kazuki said with equivalent neutrality and coolness in her voice. "Also, I fail to see the need of association with these people beyond simple agreement to coordinate on the same mission in hand."

"You have changed little/ Face of beauty and colors/ But gray from within" Zer0 said.

That sentence has somehow caused a slight sting to Kazuki's emotions, despite of knowing Zer0's lack of intention for insulting her. Somehow, Kazuki feels like an outsider among the group as she sees how the social connection between the Crimson Raiders and the corporate vault hunters went from ice cold to affectionately warm in mere minutes. Zer0's words have caused Kazuki to quietly reconsider her place within the group. As the group of rowdy vault hunters are about to finish up some of their snacks, they are ordered by Lilith to get back to their seats.

"Alright, people. Settle down. Snack time's over." Lilith said gently to everyone as she claps her hands to get their attention. Everybody were now going back to their seats and grabbing handfuls of whatever's left of the jerky as well as a cup of mint tea as they prepare for story time. "Time for some background information sharing, if you will. K.C., do us the honor of going first."

"AAALLLRRRIIIGGGHHHTTT!" K.C. yelled excitedly as he climbs and stands on one of the tables and doing an exaggerated pose. "Listen up people, and listen up GOOD! The epic tale of the awesomely EXTREME coming-of-age teenager and his more awesomely EXTREME coming-of-age tiny little girl! For the universe does not begin with a whimper, but with a BANG, so with a BANG, I shall let out the farts and burps which contains the gases of elements which makes real men REAL MEN! Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosive-"

"Get to the point, kid. We're not here to listen to you explain the creation of the universe. Make it snappy." Lilith said while being slightly annoyed.

"*Gasp* How could you?! The creation of the universe was EXTREMELY interesting and educational! I saw a documentary on it once!" K.C. said loudly while feeling offended.

"Yay! K.C.! Wooh!" Tina cheered loudly using both hands to magnify her voice as she looked up at K.C. while sitting comfortably on the ground. Afterwards, she uses her hands to throw showers of kisses at K.C., which makes K.C. blush a little.

"*Clears throat* Anyway, it all started about 3 years ago, in my home planet of Hephaestus, when I was just a younger teenager living a simple but EXTREME life…" K.C. said loudly but thoroughly as he uses his exaggerated hand gestures to emphasize his words. The story then fades into a flashback.

* * *

_Within the planet of Hephaestus, there is a small suburban home. It wasn't that extravagant, merely two to three stories tall, slanted roof, plain colors, moderately-sized lawn, etc. With the weather being sunny, clear skies, and with a light breeze, there is this inherent tranquility among the place._

_BOOOOOM!_

_And … that tranquility is broken._

_The explosion seems to come from the backyard of the house, where there is some smoke, a couple of broken pieces of machinery lying around, and a huge hole on the back wall of the house. When the smoke is cleared, what is revealed appears to be a certain EXTREME teenager._

_"__Damn it! The testing was a failure!" K.C. said loudly and with disappointment. _

_In the flashback, he appears to be a little younger and shorter as well as having slightly shorter ginger dreadlock hair. However, his appearance is largely similar to that of the present day: light tan skin, lean and muscular build, wide and shiny white-teeth grin, shoulder-level ginger dreadlocks. He also appears to be wearing a red bandana that covers most of top part of his head, sunglasses, white tank top with dirt stains, baggy dark-blue jeans, and orange-and-gray sneakers. As he regains his composure from what appears to be a MOTHERF*CKIN EXPLOSION (… motherf*cker!), he grabs an ECHO recorder from nearby and began to record some of his words._

_"__Testing attempt number I don't f*ckin care anymore for the Super Awesome Extreme Mega Ultra Epic Bacon-wrapped Mortar! The attempt was a motherf*ckin failure! The mortar that took me two weeks to build has been utterly DESTROYED! The moment I tried to fire it, it literally blew up in my face! Maybe the explosive regulation system was improperly calibrated! Maybe the welding of the metal was too weak! Or maybe I literally wrapped the entire goddamn thing with BACON! Who the f*ck knows?!" K.C. said loudly before angrily throwing the ECHO recorder onto the ground. He then proceeds to pick up a piece of charred bacon from the ground nearby and eats it. "Maybe I should try jerky next time! Or steak! Wonder if I have enough money for that large amount of steak?!"_

_Suddenly, K.C. hears a car pulling over in the garage of his house. K.C. proceeds to walk towards the living room, which is directly connected to the door that leads to the garage. As K.C. stands tall and proud on one of the couches, he patiently waits to meet and greet the person who is about to walk through that garage door. The door opened as we see who the person was. It was a tall, dark-skinned, broad-shouldered man of moderate muscular build. His hairstyle is a black buzz cut. His eyes are dark-brown covered with black-framed glasses and has a fierce and stern look on his face. He is wearing a light-blue long-sleeved dress shirt, dark gray pants, and black loafers. The moment he walked through the door, he scanned the surrounding area, taking note of the large hole on the wall of his house and K.C. standing on the sofa like cocky dumbass (Lolz, cocks and ass … umm, ignore that.) K.C. stares down to look at the man before delivering his epic speech._

_"__Greetings, fellow man! It is my honor to welcome you to my luxurious home! For the universe does not begin with a whimper but with a BANG, I shall begin my tour of the house with the utmost amount of EXTREME AWESOMENESS!" K.C. said loudly but somewhat politely to the man as he uses hand gestures to emphasize his words. "Here to the left, you'll see what appears to be a large hole on the wall that is left there on purpose and definitely not a result of a failed testing experiment …"_

_Before K.C. could finish his speech, the man took a deep breath to let out a tired sigh. Then he proceeds to walk briskly towards K.C. before … delivering a hook punch to K.C. face so hard and strong that it causes K.C. to spin and bounce wildly at various locations of the living room in a slapstick manner before finally landing on the ground while barely conscious. The man then stands next to K.C. and proceed to speak._

_"__What have I told you about making a mess to the house … son?" the man said in a stern but angry tone._

* * *

"Bwahahahahaha! Ahahaha …" Gaige was practically laughing her ass off, interrupting K.C.'s storytelling. Everyone else now focuses their attention to Gaige as she just couldn't seem to stop laughing. After a brief while, Gaige finally regains her composure before commenting on the story so far.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't help but relate to you in some way. I mean, I used to wreck my house with my radical experiments all the time when I was little. But my parents would always forgive me." Gaige said with a light smile. "Couldn't BELIEVE that any father would do that to their son, even with that happening."

"You should be ashamed of yourself, K.C. Finding a good home is difficult enough already in this tough economy. Who knows what were the costs in damages that you racked up in your crazy experiments?" Brandon said in a nervous but lecturing tone, prompting K.C. to react with crossed arms and a disagreeing frown.

"Now I understand where his violent behavior originated from." Patrick said sternly, reminiscing his interview with K.C. a while back. "Sort of makes me comforting that I am not the only one at the receiving end of the stick."

"What do you mean by that?" Gaige asked with a raised eyebrow as she looked at Patrick and the camera crew.

"You don't need to know." Xiao Lan replied with an innocent smile.

"I know, right?! I mean my dad's punches are something special! I can still feel it making a dent to my face, even until now! That and along with a hundred different punches and kicks at a hundred different locations on my body at a hundred different occasions when I destroyed his home and property at a hundred different ways!" K.C. said loudly, like it wasn't that big of a deal for him at all.

"Huh, a man who can punch that hard? I'd like to meet him sometime." Brick considered while rubbing his chin.

"Oh, poor K.C. getting a boo boo…" Tina said sympathetically, before going up near K.C.'s face and gently hold on to his face with both her hands and placing several light kisses at various parts of his face. Everyone around who is seeing this moderately adores the bond between K.C. and Tina right now.

"Thanks Tina! I'm okay now!" K.C. said loudly but gratefully to Tina.

"Anyway, son of the year, please continue." Lilith said kindly but sarcastically.

"Okay, so where was I …?" K.C. said loudly as Tina resumed to her seat on the floor.

* * *

_"__Owww … uh, I mean …AHA! I knew you were going to throw that punch, so I purposely hardened my face with the power of my EXTREME AWESOMENESS to counter your punch!" K.C. said loudly as he gets back up and gently rubs his bruised face as an attempt to make it feel less painful, because, as a matter-of-fact, that punch was extremely painful._

_"__*Sigh* Casey, clean up the mess or you won't have dinner." K.C.'s dad said with a mixture of annoyance and stern while facepalming before pointing a finger at the hole in the wall while staring fearsomely at K.C. _

_"__Grrrrrrr! For the last motherf*cking time, my name is K.C., not Casey!" K.C. said loudly while stomping angrily on the ground._

_"__That's what I said, Casey." K.C.'s dad said with even more annoyance in his tone of voice._

_"__Noooo! I'm certain that you are saying my name like it it's made of five letters instead of two, starts with a C instead of a K, and has the consistency of wet noodles instead of tough, lean, and mean jerky!" K.C. said loudly and angrily. "Also, if you really respect me, you'll say my name with 'Dynamo' at the end, as in 'K.C. Dynamo, the most EXTREME badass motherf*cker in the entire universe!"_

_"__Your birth certificate doesn't say anything about adding that word, so you are just going to have to deal with it." K.C.'s dad said with stern anger._

_"__Screw you and your apparent stick-up-you-anus, DAD!" K.C. replied loudly and angrily._

_"__*Sigh* …" K.C.'s dad tries to take moment to formulate words to calm and control K.C. "… Your mother gave you that name, Casey. Do you really want to disrespect her like that?" K.C.'s dad said, now with a slightly sadder tone than before without losing assertion._

_Indeed, that one statement has caused K.C. to become silent, even for a while, for he hates to look back to the memories of what happened to the woman who is his esteemed mother and also the beloved wife of K.C.'s dad. During his brief moment of silence, he turns his head slightly to look at a picture frame in the living room, one of which contains a family photo. The photo reveals a very young K.C., his dad, and his mother all grouped together looking perfectly happy as it seems. K.C.'s mother appears to be a middle-aged woman with long wavy ginger hair, light-toned skin with a healthy glow, and a warm smile. In the picture, she also seems to be holding the young K.C. very affectionately, which implies they were very close. After that brief moment of reminiscence, K.C. snapped back to reality, feeling frustration once more._

_"__Grrrrr! Why do you have to remind me of Mom?!" K.C. said loudly as he pointed an incriminating finger at his dad. "Fine! I'll clean up the place like you asked …" _

_While K.C. proceed to gather tools to clean up the mess he made with disgruntlement, K.C.'s dad proceeds to quietly prepare tonight's dinner. All of a sudden, a loud cracking sound of hardwood was heard by both of them inside the house. The sound seems to originate from the front door of the house, so both of them walked there to take a look. Apparently, the front door of the house seems to be smashed open from the outside and the culprit of the act was none other than … Mister Torgue!_

_"__That wooden door tried to get in my way! I tried to kindly ask it to step aside, but then I was like F*CK IT and kicked the door open like I kicked back … IT INVOLVES BREAKING OF THE BACKS OF ACTUAL PEOPLE!" Mister Torgue said loudly and awesomely as he follows it up with exaggerated hand gestures, like a REAL BADASS MOTHERF*CKER. "Anyway, hello there, Peter, my BFF! Also, HELLO THERE, GODSON!"_

_"__GOD DAD!" K.C. yelled back as he practically tackled Mister Torgue while trying to give him an affectionate hug. To be fair, with Mister Torgue's heavy muscular build, he'll probably crush K.C.'s bones while giving him a hug back. Regardless, it was still a very touching moment … aside from the door being literally wrecked apart._

* * *

"Your dad and Mister Torgue are best friends and Mister Torgue is your godfather?" Lilith asked with mild skepticism to reconfirm.

"Why am I not surprised …?" Mordecai added with casual monotone.

"Heh. I knew my instincts were correct! Hard to believe that one of the corporate vault hunters was actually someone as awesome and badass as this kid right here." Brick praised K.C. before offering a fist bump to K.C. "Give it to me, bro!"

"Aww yeah! That sure is some nice fisting!" K.C. said loudly as he enthusiastically return Brick's fist bump.

"Wait a minute. We met with Mister Torgue a couple of times during the last few months." Gaige said curiously. "He never mentioned he had a godson."

"Actually he did." Maya refuted. "Don't you remember the countless number of times he told us about it?"

The Crimson Raiders and the six vault hunters all tried to go back to their past memories to try to remember any of the mention of Mister Torgue having a godson. It was a combination of that time the six vault hunters met Mister Torgue in the Badass Crater of Badassitude, that time when Mister Torgue was invited to play at Tiny Tina's game of Bunkers and Badasses, and that time the six vault hunters were invited by Mister Torgue to go to Gluttony Gulch.

* * *

_There was this time when the six vault hunters suddenly got an ECHO message from Mister Torgue for the first time to come to the Badass Crater of Badassitude._

_[Hello, vault hunters!] Mister Torgue said loudly through the ECHO. [I welcome you to come to the Badass Crater of Badassitude to kick some BADASSES! Also, I have an EXTREMELY AWESOME godson! His name is Casey Daleson, but he doesn't like to be called that and instead want to be called K.C. 'Dynamo' Daleson, which is TOTALLY FREAKIN' AWESOME! He's 14 right now, is good with handling explosives, and is MOTHERF*CKIN' EXTREME! Alright, I gotta go! See ya in the Torgue arena!]_

_Then there was this time where Mister Torgue was chatting with Tina on all kinds of stuff about K.C. during Tina's stay in the Badass Crater of Badassitude. Mister Torgue and Tina were at a room somewhere in the arena building having a tea party._

_"__So K.C. just totally blew up the house this one time and his dad had to pay for all the damages and later gave K.C. a lecture and a MAJOR SPANKING! The spank took FOUR HOURS! He was eight at the time!" Mister Torgue said loudly as he was pouring tea to Tina's cup while sitting comfortably on a chair a couple of sizes too small for him._

_"__AHAHAHAHAH! That is so like K.C.! There was this one time when K.C. and I had to share the same bathroom at a bandit camp in the middle of nowhere. He was eating nothing but meat for a couple of weeks and is really constipated and ended up using our last supply of toilet paper." Tina replied with a fair amount of enthusiasm as she proceeds to stuff her mouth with a plate of chocolate chip cookies (That's right! REAL chocolate chip cookies! Not that raisin oatmeal bullsh*t!). "I was so mad at him for that, but I eventually forgive him. He is a dumbass, but also so GODDAMN ADORABLE!"_

_Then there was this one time when Tina and Mister Torgue were chatting about K.C. during the game of Bunkers and Badasses._

_"__If K.C. was here, he would totally kick ass in this game. His class would be the explosive teenager, his weapon of choice would be mortars that shoot meatballs, and his stats in the precise amount of f*cks given would be precisely zero." Tina said casually during the game._

_"__I know right?! Oh yeah, did we tell you guys about K.C. Dynamo?! He's my godson, and also Tina's BFF, and also TOTALLY FREAKIN' EXTREME! It's such a freakin' coincidence that we happen to have someone we both know, am I right?!" Mister Torgue said loudly to Lilith, Mordecai, and Brick, who were all also currently playing the game with them. Lilith, Mordecai, and Brick responded by looking at each other with raised eyebrows, as if having no idea what they are talking about._

_Then there was this one time when Mister Torgue made a comment right after the six vault hunters killed the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler in Gluttony Gulch. _

_"__ALRIGHT! It's such a shame that K.C. wasn't here to enjoy this! If he were here, he would have devoured that Gobbler in like 2 seconds!" Mister Torgue said loudly over at the loudspeakers. "Oh yeah, did I mention that I have a godson?! Whose name is K.C. Dynamo?! Who's really REALLY EXTREME?! REMEMBER HIM!"_

_Then there were like a bazillion other times when K.C. was mentioned with EXTREME emphasis._

_"__K.C.!"_

_"__Dynamo!"_

_"__Daleson!"_

_"__Motherf*cker!"_

_"__EXTREME!"_

_"__Explooooooooooooosions!"_

_"__Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze~ …"_

_"__CONSTIPATED!"_

_"__REMEMBER HIM!"_

_"__Hey, did I mention …?"_

_"__! #$%^&amp;*&amp;^%$# ! ..."_

_The funny thing about memory is that you can be overloaded to such an extreme with information about one person that the brain will start to say "Screw it." and automatically delete everything._

Now that the Crimson Raiders and the six vault hunters finish digging into their memories, their focus snap back to reality, for they have realized that it is really true that both Mister Torgue and Tina HAVE mentioned about K.C. to them, albeit with extreme excessiveness. However, now that they think about it, suddenly admitting that you have such a messed up memory bank really makes you feel like an idiot. So they did what was necessary.

"Yeeeeeaaaaahhh, doesn't ring a bell." Gaige said with shifting eyes while scratching one of her ears, indicating embarrassment and denial.

"Nope, never heard of you in my entire life." Axton said with pretty much the same expression of embarrassment and denial.

"Hmm, wait a minute. Now that I think about it, I do remember- mphmpmhpmphm…" Salvador tries to say before being forcefully muffled by both Axton and Gaige. Lilith, Maya, and the others simply roll their eyes at the acts of idiocy they see in front of them.

"WHAT?! Grrrrrrrrrr! God dad never mentioned me to anyone in this room?! I feel so hurt! Grrrrrr!" K.C. said loudly but disappointingly as he sobbed for a little while before returning to his usual cheerful and explosive personality. "Ah whatever, that is not important right now! What is important is the lengthy backstory that I am not even close to finishing yet! Now, where was I …?"

* * *

_"__Mister Torgue." K.C.'s dad (we're calling him Peter from now on, since that's his name) said with moderate anger and annoyance. "How many times have I told you NOT to kick down my door whenever you enter my house? Haven't you heard of a doorbell? Or a doorknob?"_

_"__Screw doorbells and doorknobs! Kicking down the door is SO much more AWESOME!" Mister Torgue said loudly as he releases K.C. from the hug and emphasizes his words with two anarchy hand signs. "They should make that a standard in entering people's houses!"_

_"__I know right?! I'm gonna train my leg muscles just so I could kick down doors with ease, like a BADASS MOTHERF*CKER!" K.C. said loudly and proudly. Peter could only react at the two moronic duo with tired sigh and a facepalm._

_"__Anyway, I'm cooking dinner. What do you want to eat?" Peter said as he heads to the kitchen._

_"__I'll have 20lbs of bacon sizzled and sprinkled with black gunpowder, preferably fine-grained!" K.C. said loudly. "Don't give me it with smokeless powder! That stuff is bullsh*t and you know it!"_

_"__I'll have steak marinated with nitroglycerin!" Mister Torgue added. "It's a recipe worthy of a Nobel Prize!"_

_[__Fun Fact__: The idea of the Nobel Prize was first established by Alfred Nobel, who also invented dynamite, which was made of nitroglycerin.]_

_[Also, don't actually cook and eat explosive material or do any dangerous acts based on the stuff you read here. I don't want to get sued.]_

_"__Beef and broccoli and pepper steak mixed with a large bowl of fried rice. Got it." Peter said monotonously and sarcastically, clearly not falling for their immense idiocy._

_"__Eww! I don't wanna eat broccoli! They are vegetables, which grow from the ground, which is fertilized by poop, which is why they taste like butt!" K.C. complained loudly._

_"__Casey, you're eating the vegetables or you're not eating at all. Period." Peter replied with a serious tone._

_"__Don't worry, K.C.! I'll suffer the vegetables apocalypse with you! That's what godfathers and godsons do!" Mister Torgue said loudly._

_"__You're the man, god dad!" K.C. said loudly and approvingly as he and Mister Torgue exchange a manly high-five handshake._

_After all is said and done, Peter, K.C. and Mister Torgue are sitting at the dinner table together eating their dinner. As they eat, they also engaged in small talk._

_"__Oh, by the way, have you heard from the company?! We are sending a team to Pandora! Apparently, they are setting up a weapons testing facility there and also might have a chance to set up a badass fighting arena sponsored by Torgue!" Mister Torgue said loudly._

_"__Pandora?" Peter said with intrigue. "Isn't Pandora currently being taken over by Hyperion? I heard about it on the news. Apparently, the CEO of Hyperion, Handsome Jack, is a bit of a genocidal maniac. Won't establishing a facility on Pandora be creating conflict between Hyperion and Torgue?"_

_"__Yeah, well SCREW Hyperion and Handsome Jack!" Mister Torgue said angrily. "We're building it there and we are not giving two f*cks about it! If they want to go to war with us, they'll have to deal with my AWESOME SPECTACULAR PECS!"_

_"__Yeah! I'm also developing my own awesome set of pecs, god dad! Check this out!" K.C. said loudly before taking off his shirt to reveal his awesome pecs._

_"__Casey, don't take off your shirt while eating dinner. Put it back on." Peter demanded. K.C. reluctantly followed his demand._

_"__Also, I heard Pandora is full of bandits and dangerous wildlife, which is perfect for a certain coming-of-age teenager to travel and explore! For one shall not call himself a man without exploring dangerous and treacherous lands!" K.C. said loudly, clearly indicating he wants to go to motherf*ckin Pandora._

_"__Casey, you're not going to Pandora." Peter said strictly._

_"__Aww cmon!" K.C. complained loudly._

_"__Yeah, Peter! Letting the kid go to Pandora with my team can be a good learning experience to K.C.!" Mister Torgue convinced loudly._

_"__No." Peter denied._

_"__He'll be carefully watched by my guys over there! There won't be any harm done to him!" Mister Torgue convinced loudly._

_"__No." Peter denied._

_"__Peter, he's a smart and energetic kid with enough skills and knowledge on explosives to become one of the BEST explosives expert in the GALAXY!" Mister Torgue convinced louder than before._

_"__He's an 11 year-old boy who should be going to school and getting an education instead of roaming around in the sh*t-filled wasteland that is Pandora! I am NOT letting Casey go there! I don't care if we've been friends for a long time; you are NOT going to convince me otherwise!" Peter shouted strictly._

_There is a brief moment of awkward silence before someone said something._

_"__Wait, didn't I got expelled from school?! So, technically, I have the time to go to a trip like that!" K.C. said loudly._

_"__Casey, go to your room." Peter demanded strictly._

_"__But, I haven't finished dinner-" K.C. said loudly._

_"__I said go to your room, NOW!" Peter demanded with even more strictness. _

_Even though K.C. and Mister Torgue were loudmouths compared to Peter, to actually hear Peter speak in a loud and serious tone frightens them. Once the quiet and uptight Peter actually raises his voice, you know he's dead serious and you do not want to go against his demands. After what Peter said, K.C.'s face expresses mild sadness and disappointment before he slowly walks back to his room upstairs._

_"__Hey, don't be so hard on the kid, man! He's still a kid!" Mister Torgue said loudly while still trying to maintain a low volume._

_"__He lacks discipline and modesty. I don't care how good his skills in explosives are, he is going to get himself killed on Pandora. I can guarantee you that." Peter said with a low and harsh tone._

_As K.C. got back to his room and closes the door, his previous sad expression slowly transforms into an expression of mischievous anticipation and excited happiness._

_"__F*ck my dad with a hot dog up his ass." K.C. said with a low but excited voice. "I'm going to Pandora."_

* * *

"Mmm, hot dogs. I've seen them on the ECHOnet but I've never actually tried one before." Mama Jaws interrupted.

"May I suggest that you refrain from mentioning things with vulgar implications revolving around the story?" Kazuki said politely and with mild disgust. "Besides, I doubt you'll be missing much. Hot dogs are not that delectable to begin with."

"I'm not so sure about that." Monty interjected. "With the right ingredients and methods, anything can become delicious. Hot dogs are no exception."

"Wooh! Hot dogs up the *sshole!" Tina cheered at K.C. before giving him a high-five. "Now that's what I'm talkin, home boy!"

"So you disobeyed your strict father in order to come to Pandora for the adventure of a 'man'." Lilith said with arms crossed. "Gotta say, that took some guts."

"Yeah, especially when coming on a bandit-riddled and beast-infested place like Pandora." Mordecai added. "And especially when Hyperion is controlling most of the area at that time. I'm surprised you're still alive to tell the tale."

"So, what happens next?" Brick said excitedly. "I wanna know more."

"Well, naturally, in order to go to Pandora, I need to get away from my dad. So I tried to do that in the stealthiest and with most finesse way possible." K.C. said as he continued his story.

* * *

_It was morning in the next day at K.C.'s house. Peter seems confused that K.C. is sleeping in later than usual, for he always wakes up early in order to give everyone around him a wake-up call straight from the birth of the universe. So Peter walked towards K.C.'s room and opened the door. What he saw surprised him. Inside the room is K.C. sitting proudly on a homemade rocket. The rocket is about a couple meters long, about a meter wide in diameter, held up by a stand and pointed 45 degrees towards the ceiling of the room and pointed straight at the room's window. There is also some crude graffiti paint on the rocket that, when looked closely, clearly said "So long, *sshole dad!" (… charming…)_

_"__For the universe begins with a bang, I shall begin my morning to the most EXTREME of the most EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly as he is crossing his arms while sitting on the large rocket in his room facing away from Peter._

_"__Casey …" Peter said to K.C. with a low but threatening tone._

_"__A man must do what a man must do!" K.C. said loudly as he turns his back to face Peter with a confident smile and a thumbs-up._

_"__Casey …" Peter said, now with a rising voice and an even more threatening tone, as if he is on the brink of losing his temper._

_"__So long, dad! Off to Pandora I gooooo!" K.C. said loudly while pumping a fist in the air._

_Almost immediately, the rocket takes off at an incredible speed, crashing the window of the room open and taking K.C. soaring through the sky. Peter could barely have time to stop this nonsense, so when the dust has settled, he had finally lost the last miniature shred of his temper._

_"__CAAAAASEEEEEY!" Peter yelled angrily on the top of his lungs._

* * *

"Stealth and finesse, huh?/ Not among my principles/ You disappoint me." Zero interjected.

"Oh what do you know?! My level of EXTREME AWESOMENESS in my method of escape was totally AWESOME! To the EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly.

"Oh boy, I can tell the next part is going to be good." Gaige whispered to Axton and the others with anticipation.

"So you literally constructed a rocket overnight and rode it all the way to Torgue HQ to hitch a ride to Pandora with Mister Torgue on board." Lilith said incredulously. "Honestly, I'm surprised that you're even alive at this point. Are you sure you're not making even half of this stuff?"

"How dare you doubt my SUPER AWESOME EXTREME HONESTY AND MODESTY in exactly every word I say?!" K.C. said loudly while feeling slightly offended. "I swear to the creation of the universe that I am not making sh*t up!"

"Fine, fine, whatever. Just continue your story." Lilith said casually.

"Okay! So I finally got off the rocket and into Torgue HQ, meet up with god dad, took off to Pandora without my dad ever having a chance to stop me, and hence my first step onto motherf*ckin Pandora!" K.C. said loudly.

* * *

_K.C. finally took his first step on Pandora. It was a bright and sunny day with clear skies, and a light breeze. The surrounding terrain consists of an open desert-like field with small twirls of dust and sand moving with the wind. At the far distance, you can see the moderately tall and dark-gray mountains and canyons fusing naturally with desert sand. There is barely anyone or anything around that stands out as hospitable or interesting, except for the dozens of Torgue airships, hundreds of supply crates, and thousands of Torgue personnel that surrounds K.C. at the moment._

_"__Man, what a planet! With all the open space, and the bright sun, and the awesomely fresh air!" K.C. said loudly before taking a deep breath of the air around him and then forcefully coughs a couple of times. Perhaps the air was not so fresh after all. In fact, if you smell it more carefully, you can smell hints of odor derived from burnt human flesh mixed with feces._

* * *

"Gross …" Gaige interrupted monotonously.

"Gaige, you've been on Pandora for a long time. You should have noticed that by now." Maya added.

"Yeah, but not how he would have described it." Gaige said with slight disgust.

"I was born and raised on Pandora and I don't smell the air any different." Salvador said.

"That's because your nose has been desensitized. Even if we brought you a pile of skag crap right in front of your face, you wouldn't smell it." Axton added with snark.

"Hey! I take offense to that." Salvador said while being slightly offended.

"Relax, big guy. When living on some place like Pandora, having a uniquely bad sense of smell is probably a good thing." Gaige added.

" *Clears throat* Anyway …!" K.C. said as he attempted to continue his story.

* * *

_"__So, how do you like Pandora so far?!" Mister Torgue said as he gently patted a hand onto K.C.'s shoulder._

_"__It was … AWESOME!" K.C. shouted on the top of his lungs as he pumps both of his fists up in the air. "This is going to be it, god dad! My rite of passage of becoming a true MAN! To traverse the unforgiving wasteland of Pandora and do all sorts of crazy sh*t just so that I could tell the stories to my children and have them tell stories to their children and so on, and after a couple generations, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, will know of the tale of the AWESOME SPECTACULAR and most definitely EXTREME MAN in the existence of the UNIVERSE!"_

_"__Ha! That's supremely excellent! Now, I've got some stuff to take care of with Torgue management, so just stay put and try not to get yourself lost!" Mister Torgue said loudly._

_"__Ha … wait, what?! Stay put?! Not getting myself lost?! I thought coming here was to get lost on Pandora! That's the whole point!" K.C. said loudly and shockingly._

_"__Yeah, well I only agreed to bring you on Pandora as long as you stay put and stay safe and don't get split up with the rest of the group!" Mister Torgue said loudly. "Your dad is already pissed that I brought you along! If I let you out of my sight, he will most definitely kill me! Quite literally! I mean do you know who you are talking to?! I'm Mister MOTHERF*CKIN Torgue High Five MOTHERF*CKIN Flexington! I am in the business of selling the raw essence of EXPLOSIONS itself! My burp is a sonic-boom and my fart is a Manhattan project! And even I am scared of your dad! I only brought you here due to the goodwill between you and me over the years and also to prove that you dad has absolutely nothing to worry about me bring you here! Now be a good kid and stay put and try not to walk away or something!"_

_"__Grrrrrrrrrrr! F*ck this sh*t!" K.C. said loudly and angrily as he kicks the sand under his shoe in frustration and walks off._

_As K.C. walks towards somewhere shadier to sit in today's hot and sunny Pandoran weather, Mister Torgue goes off to organize the various tasks in the establishment and construction of the Torgue facility._

_"__So, Hyperion hasn't made a direct confrontation yet?!" Mister Torgue said loudly to some secretary woman as he walks briskly around the base._

_"__No, sir. I assume that Hyperion sees Torgue as a rival competitor with relatively equal power and doesn't want to stir up unnecessary trouble when confronting us. Handsome Jack probably won't make a move anytime soon." the secretary said while walking briskly behind Mister Torgue._

_"__Good! Keep me updated on the Hyperion situation! Let me know when there are any major changes!" Mister Torgue said loudly, to which the secretary nodded and walked away._

_Afterwards, Mister Torgue came across a group of soldiers in Torgue uniform just sitting lazily on top of a pile of crates. They are supposed to be mercenaries hired officially by Torgue to run security during this trip. But because there seems to be almost no threats coming their way at the moment, they seem relatively bored. One of the guys has white skin, a goatee beard, and brunette short hair on top of a relatively average height and build and lazy eyes._

_"__Hello, Brad! How's it hanging for you and your security guys?!" Mister Torgue greeted them loudly but friendly._

_"__You already know it, boss. There isn't an insect even coming near our camp to bite us in the ass." the guy with the goatee (We're calling him Brad now) said with his gruff yet lazy voice. "Probably because your aura alone is enough to scare most of Pandora's wildlife and bandits away from this camp. And here I thought coming to Pandora is going to be dangerous and exciting."_

_"__Aww, don't feel so down, Brad! I'm sure the time will come when you are going to be brutally attacked by the local bandits and wildlife here! Then you will see what it feels like to be TRULY alive!" Mister Torgue cheered loudly._

_"__Gee, thanks for the boost of enthusiasm, boss." Brad said lazily and sarcastically. "By the way, I saw you talking to a kid earlier. Who is he anyway?"_

_"__Oh, that's right! You haven't met K.C.! He's Daleson's son and my godson!" Mister Torgue said loudly. "He said he wants to come to Pandora to experience the life of the wasteland and to undergo the rite of passage of becoming a man, so I brought him along for the trip!"_

_Gradually, Brads's expression went from lazy to nervousness to sheer horror as he slowly tries to get up and approach Mister Torgue more closely._

_"__Daleson?! As in THE Peter Daleson, the God of Explosives?!" Brad said nervously. "Oh my God! Does … does he know you brought his son here? Did he give you permission?!"_

_"__Well, no! Of course not! K.C. wanted to come here but Peter wouldn't let him, so I snuck K.C. on board!" Mister Torgue said loudly._

_After Brad heard that, he is practically tearing his hair out. His eyes are wide open with fear and shock and dread and all sorts of f*cked up._

_"__Oh F**********CK! F*ck f*ck f*ck! #$%^&amp;*" Brad said with dread as he was running in circles while continue to pull his hair out. "Do you have any idea what you just did, boss?! Daleson is gonna KILL us! He's gonna KILL us ALL!"_

_"__Oh relax! As long as we keep an eye out for K.C. and make sure nothing bad happens to him during this trip, everything will be just fine!" Mister Torgue said loudly and proudly._

_"__I hope you're right. I don't want to die by getting obliterated into subatomic particles by explosive power equivalent to trillions of tons of TNT." Brad said with slight dread. "By the way, where is the kid?"_

_"…" __they all responded with a momentary silence. _

_Suddenly, that silence was broken by an event of tremendous ridiculousness. A truck, designed with Torgue's logo and color scheme attached to it, drove by in the center of the camp and stopped near Mister Torgue and the group. The groups saw the driver inside was none other than K.C._

_"__Sup, agents of EXTREMENESS! Check out my ride!" K.C. said as he is casually placing one of his arms on the steering wheel and the other hanging outside of the truck window._

_"__K.C.! What are you doing?!" Mister Torgue said loudly and shockingly._

_"__What does it look like?! I'm taking off to see the real side of Pandora! Staying cooped up in this camp is SO not extreme!" K.C. replied loudly. "Alright, see you guys later! TO THE EXTREME!"_

_As K.C. took off to the far wastes of Pandora, Mister Torgue, Brad, and the rest of the group were all basically dumbfounded and shocked stiff in fear. Their jaws are dropped, their blood ran cold, and their eyes wide open with horror._

_"__*Gasp* F*******! #$%^&amp;*KKKKKKKKK!" Brad cursed on the top of his lungs. "We gotta find him! We've GOT TO FIND HIM! FIND HIM NOW! IMMEDIATELY!"_

_"__AGREED! WE'RE GOING AFTER HIM! WE WILL NOT EAT! WE WILL NOT SLEEP! WE WILL NOT TAKE A DROP OF YELLOW PISS OR A SPECK OF BROWN TURD UNTIL WE FIND K.C.!" Mister Torgue said at his loudest yet._

_As practically the entire Torgue camp is in raw chaos, K.C. chuckled softly with excitement while driving the truck towards an unknown location and let the light breeze hit his face and dazzling ginger dreadlocks._

* * *

Back inside Moxxi's bar, K.C. is now chuckling softly as he is both telling and reminiscing that last part of the story. After he ended his chuckle, he looked around to see that literally everyone is staring at him with disbelief. Their eyes are wide open and their jaws are mildly dropped. They are also rendered emotionally speechless.

"Wow … uh … I literally don't know what to say right now." Lilith said softly with mild surprise.

"Grrrrr!" Brandon was tearing his hair out before approaching K.C. and pointing a strict lecturing finger at him. "I really can't believe there is a kid such as you in this day and age. How could you make your father worry about you like that? If my kids were to do something like this to me, I wouldn't even begin to imagine the punishment that I am going to give them. You are SO irresponsible, K.C. You should really treat your elders with more respect."

"Well, if even Mister Torgue is scared of your dad, then he must really be something." Brick said as he wondered. "Now I REALLY want to meet him."

"Hmm, Peter Daleson … I think I heard about that guy. Axton?" Eugene said smugly.

"Yeah, we both heard about him during our training at Dahl. It was a long time ago, but I think I can still remember most of the details." Axton explained. "Apparently, this Peter Daleson guy was really good with handling explosives. Some say he's one of the best, if not THE best at what he do! However, most often his work involves bomb disposal, demolitions, explosives safety, and other civilian applications dealing with explosives. That said, he understood the ins and outs of the concepts behind explosives way better than his peers. They say there is not a bomb in the universe he cannot disarm, not a building he cannot demolish, not a trace of the faintest odors of explosive chemicals he couldn't detect. There are also rumors that he is incredibly strict and pay the absolute precise attention to the most minute detail in everything. In the field of explosives, he is basically a legend."

"Heh, that is only part of the story." Eugene said smugly. "When I heard about a guy claiming to be the best of the best, I naturally start to investigate more. Apparently, long before he was a civilian explosives expert, he was a sapper or combat engineer working for the military. He went through countless battles, earned countless medals, and killed and saved countless lives. There is even a myth floating around about his involvement in the Great War of Hephaestus about 15 years ago." Eugene slowly leans closer to the center of the group so that everyone in the room could listen more closely. "They say that the war has escalated to such a high scale that one of the sides decided to use antimatter bombs as an attempt to finish the war as quickly as possible."

"You're sh*tting me!" Gaige reacted with shock. "Antimatter bombs? Their energy density is like 1000 times larger than conventional nuclear fission bombs. Even though theoretically it's very powerful, it's also extremely expensive and time-consuming to make."

"Exactly." Eugene replied with smoothness. "They are likely using it as their last resort, hoping to strategically place the bomb right into the central enemy base. They aren't planning on total annihilation, just enough to ruin the other side's morale. However, that somehow backfired."

"What? What exactly happened?" Gaige asked with ever-increasing intrigue.

"K.C.'s dad, Peter Daleson, was supposedly right at the center of that base." Eugene explained. "When the bomb hit, everything … and I mean everything … was completely and utterly destroyed." Eugene then takes a step back as he leans back to his table to continue the story. "However … his dad survived."

"You're kidding me …" Gaige said softly with shock-filled awe.

"I wish I was. Think about this for a second. This is a man-made catastrophe designed for maximum destruction and that guy survived it. What was originally intended to be an attack to morale just got turned into a momentous wave of unrelenting pride and courage, with this seemingly indestructible guy acting as a spear point." Eugene said smoothly. "Eventually, the war was won by the side with the Daleson guy on the team, and he basically became a war hero and a legend. However, the specifics of that event were still kept under wraps. How did he survive? What technology did he use? Was it all just a hoax? That largely remain a mystery. Regardless, you can bet your ass that this Daleson guy is something special."

Suddenly, the atmosphere of shocking revelation just got a lot heavier. K.C.'s dad, Peter Daleson, the supposed gifted natural at explosives, survived a catastrophic event that had killed millions? Just who the actually living f*ck is this guy? As everyone was quietly processing this incredible piece of information, K.C. head was tilted down as if he was feeling a bit over the weather. After a brief while, he lifted his head up and began to speak.

"Hey! This was supposed to be MY story! Stop cramming in my dad backstory into it!" K.C. said loudly to Eugene.

"Oh yeah. After he survived, he apparently left the military, fell in love, got married, started a family, and had a kid, who you might have already known is this little guy over here." Eugene said smugly as he gently patted K.C.'s head.

"Grrrrrr! Stop calling me little!" K.C. said loudly and angrily as both of his fists were clenched.

"Everything was going so well, right until a certain incident relating to Peter Daleson's wife, or K.C.'s mom-" Eugene said before being interrupted.

"Hey! HEY!" K.C. cut off Eugene before he aggressively grab on to his collar and look at him angrily in the face. "Keep your mouth shut about it, OKAY?! I don't want to hear a god damn word!" Everyone else was getting kind of nervous towards K.C.'s sudden aggression.

"Heh, did I hit a nerve?" Eugene said smugly. "Fine, my lips are sealed. Why don't you continue that interesting story of yours?"

K.C. slowly released Eugene's collar from his grip before he grumpily returned to standing proudly on top of a table and continue his story.

"So there I was, right in the middle of the Pandoran wasteland! Dust and sand as far as the eye can see and danger looming everywhere …!" K.C. said loudly as he continued his story.

* * *

_"__Why are bandits trying to kill me?!" K.C. yelled as he ran and dodge from a group of bandits firing bullets at him._

_"__Why are the wildlife trying to kill me?!" K.C. yelled as he ran and dodge from a group of skags and spiderants chasing after him_

_"__Why are Hyperion robots try to kill me?!" K.C. yelled as he ran and dodge from a group of Hyperion loaders shooting at him._

_After all that running and dodging, K.C. finally sat down before he realized there's a skag waste pile under him and within it lies a poor-quality Torgue rocket launcher. He picked it up and analyzed it with a raised eyebrow._

_"__Why is there a rocket launcher on a pile of skag sh*t?! How do skags even swallow this?!" K.C. questioned out loud. "Also … WOOHOO! A rocket launcher! From Torgue, no less! At least now, people won't try to kill me anymore!"_

_He is wrong. They are still trying to kill him._

_K.C. has now wandered for a couple of days among the Pandoran wasteland. He is almost out of food and water and his endurance is running thin. _

_"__*Panting* Damn it, I'm reaching my extreme limit …!" K.C. said with a loud but tired voice. "Maybe ditching god dad and coming here wasn't such a good idea …!" K.C. then slaps himself in the face before returning to a slightly more energetic mood. "Ha! What are you talking about, K.C.?! This was TOTALLY the plan! Finally, after all this time, I've been able to endure hardship and desperation in the most extreme conditions! I couldn't feel more manlier! I …" Suddenly, K.C's stomach growled loudly, interrupting his speech. "Grrrr … I'm so hungry and tired … too tired to be extreme … *Sigh* whatever. Let's just keep walking."_

_As he walks slowly and tiringly through the desert, a light dust storm blows over K.C., moderately blocking his view momentarily. As the dust storm slowly begins to settle, K.C. thought he saw a small and blurry figure at the far distance. Is it an animal? Is it a bandit? Is it something else entirely? K.C. is still trying to figure out as he focuses his dried eyes even harder. Then, when the dust storm settles, K.C. got a clearer image of the figure in front of him as it seems to be moving closer to him. It was a small humanoid figure who was also walking slowly and tiringly like he was. It was about the same height as he was, but slightly skinnier build. It was wearing a pink shirt and brown skirt with a picture of a white bunny head on its design. It was a little girl with short blonde hair, carrying a small stuffed animal bunny, and bears a sad expression on her face._

_It was Tina._


	27. Explosions of Life

Chapter 27: Explosions of Life

"Tinaaaaaaa!" K.C. yelled with tears streaming from his eyes as he hugs Tina tightly and warmly.

"K.C. cccccccc!" Tina yelled while having the same reaction and hugging K.C. tightly and warmly.

Everyone else staring at them initially would have felt a warmth by emotional bond if not for the fact that it just happened so suddenly.

"Wait, hold on. Why are you both getting so emotional about? You haven't even finished the story?" Lilith asked.

"Oh yeah! You haven't heard of the emotional part yet!" K.C. said loudly as he wiped his tears while gently releasing from Tina's hug.

"Yeah, mah girl. The next part is gonna give you the feels, man. The FEELS!" Tina added.

"I can't wait to hear it." Lilith said with mild anticipation.

" *Sniff* Okay, so there I was, in the middle of the crap-hole wasteland known as Pandora, and suddenly saw this little girl, which is Tina, wandering in the wasteland as well! So …" K.C. said loudly as he continued the story.

* * *

_K.C. doesn't know what to make of it. A cute little girl wandering around the dangerous wasteland of Pandora. Was he hallucinating? Does he have one too many blunt traumas on the head, barely any water in his severely dehydrated body, or ate one too many skag chews sprinkled with gunpowder? Or was there really a girl right in front of him? How would a little girl like that survive even one second in this hellhole of a planet? The questions are stacking up in K.C.'s mind as he continue to stare at the little girl for a few seconds while the little girl stares back. Afterwards, K.C. finally broke the silence._

_"__Hey there, little girl!" K.C. said loudly, mustering all the friendly enthusiasm that he has. "Today's a really nice day on Pandora, aside from the dust, the bandits, the skags, and about a hundred different other things that are apparently trying to kill me! But, I'm a tough kid, and I'm not gonna let that get ME down! So … uh … I'm a little lost here! Embarrassingly enough! Do you know the nearest place I can get some grub?!"_

_Tina's expression upon seeing an enthusiastic teenager about her age in front of her slightly frightens her. That said, she's about as tired, hungry, and dehydrated as he is. Therefore there is only one possible reaction in this situation. Tina … started crying. K.C. saw the little girl suddenly started to cry and was a bit startled by it._

_"__Wooh! Uh … what just happened?! Was it something I said?!" K.C. said loudly, trying to calm down the little girl. "Look, I'm new here! I've only been here for a couple of days! I'm still not familiar with things around here! I'm sorry if I offended you! Please don't cry! Pleeeeeeaaaasssseee!"_

_Tina still hasn't stopped crying. Afterwards, Tina seems to be turning away from K.C. and start running at a tired pace away from him. K.C. became even more startled and starts chasing the little girl while trying to convince her that he's friendly and harmless._

_"__Wait! Where are you going, little girl?! Please, don't run away! I'm sorry for whatever I did!" K.C. said loudly as he continues to chase after Tina. "Little girl! LITTLE GIRL!"_

_Just as both of them are running at a very tired and slow pace, both of them heard a sound from the distance. As both of them looked around, they have noticed that it's a group of bandits riding outrunners and closing in on the two children. They maneuver the vehicles so that it is surrounding the two kids, making it difficult for them to escape. While Tina was even more frightened than before, K.C. remains steadfast._

_"__Hey hey HEY! Look what we have here. Two fresh meat puppets for us to pound on." one of the bandits said. "Alright, boys! Round them up and take them to the base!"_

_Immediately, some of the bandits got off the vehicles and start charging into the two kids. While K.C. is already too exhausted to barely move, his adrenaline kicked in, causing him to sense the immediate danger and muster whatever energy he had left to kick ass. K.C. then proceed to take out his Torgue rocket launcher and slam at the incoming bandits like a baseball bat slamming baseballs. The bandits try to switch tactics by shooting at K.C., but K.C. saw it coming immediately and react by throwing the rocket launcher like a spear towards the gun-user, causing him to be knocked down. K.C. then recovers the rocket launcher and insert his last remaining rocket ammo before aiming at one of the bandit vehicles and fired at it, causing it to blow up to smithereens._

_"__Oh sh*t! That kid's got a rocket launcher!" one of the bandits commented nervously._

_"__That's right, motherf*ckers! K.C. Dynamo ain't nothin' to mess with! You hear me?!" K.C. bragged loudly as he pumps a fist in the air._

_"__Everyone! Let's get outta here! Grab the girl and get outta here!" one of the bandits ordered._

_"__Ha! … Wait, WHAT?! Oh sh*t!" K.C. said loudly, realizing they are talking about kidnapping Tina._

_Before K.C. could react, the bandits swiftly nabbed Tina. Tina reacted by screaming out of sheer fright, but clearly she is defenseless to resist. Afterwards, the bandits drove off to the horizon, leaving K.C. in the dust._

_"__Oh F*CK! SH*T! GRRRRRR! Don't worry, little girl! I'm coming to save you!" K.C. shouted as he continues to muster all his stamina to run as fast as possible to catch up to the bandit vehicle. "I'm coming! LITTLE GIRL!"_

_Meanwhile, the bandit vehicle stopped at a location that seems to be a run-down bandit base. The group of bandits got off the vehicle as they dragged a tied-up Tina into the base. Inside, there was a menacing atmosphere. There are bandits and psychos everywhere, each with a scary look on their faces, despite of wearing masks. Tina was eventually brought to a large bandit sitting on a makeshift throne, who seems to be the boss around here. He is naked from the waist up, incredibly obese, and about 6-7 feet tall. He also wears a distinct blood-stained metal mask that look much scarier than regular bandit masks. As Tina was brought towards the bandit leader and forced to kneel down, the bandit leader got up from his throne and slowly walk towards Tina with slight interest._

_"__Boss, look what we have here." one of the minion bandits said. "We just happened to find this little b*tch wandering around the area, so we napped her. Didn't even break a sweat."_

_"__I gave you two outrunners for the scouting. Only one came back. What happened to the other one?" the boss bandit said gruffly and intimidatingly. _

_"__Well, here's the funny thing. It was destroyed … by a kid holding a rocket launcher." the minion bandit explained. "That kid was about the same age as this one. They were both together when we first found them."_

_"__You're sh*tting me …" the boss bandit said, apparently in disbelief._

_"__Naw, boss. I swear, it's true. I-" the minion bandit tried to explain before being forcefully choked by the boss bandit. The boss bandit then proceeds to lift the minion bandit by the neck with one hand, making it even harder for the minion bandit to breathe. The surrounding bandits seem to be moderately intimidated by this._

_"__I give you vehicles, I give you weapons, I give you food, I give you LEADERSHIP, and this is how you REPAY ME?!" the boss bandit practically yelled as he tighten his chokehold onto the minion bandit's neck. "If you're going to come up with a lie, you should have come up with a better one."_

_The boss bandit finally releases the chokehold as he throws the minion bandit to the ground. After a few seconds of trying to catch his breath, the bandit began to speak again._

_"__No, really, Boss. I didn't lie to you. What I said was true-" the minion bandit said desperately before being utterly slaughtered. As the minion bandit was trying to convince the boss bandit, the boss bandit seems to have taken out an extremely large rectangular butcher knife out of nowhere and cleave the minion bandit cleanly in half, all in a split second. The minion bandit never had a chance. The surrounding bandits seeing the event was absolutely horrified that they couldn't help but stand still and speechless. Tina, on the other hand, seems horrified enough to let out a screeching scream._

_"__AAAAAAHHHHH!" Tina screeched with sheer fright as she observed the atrocity before her eyes as she tries to struggle and squirm helplessly on the ground. _

_"__Oh SHUT UP!" the boss bandit shouted annoyingly before he stomped on Tina a couple of times to silence her screams. Tina's face seems to be bruised as a result, along with several other places. The boss bandit then grabbed Tina forcefully by the hair and yank it up as he observe her face a bit closer. "Huh, I haven't had a meat puppet like you for a while. This is going to be fun." The boss bandit then let go of Tina and face towards a nearby group of bandits to give them orders. "Hey you, lock this b*tch up in a cage and go prepare dinner afterwards."_

_The subordinate bandits happily complied, for they really do not want to induce the boss bandit's wrath. The bandits quickly took Tina to a rusted metal cage and locked her up. The insides of the cage was dark, cramped, and had a bad smell. Despite that, Tina could only lie down on the cold rusted metal floor inside the cage and snuggle herself like a bug in a rug as she quietly cried herself to sleep._

* * *

Back at Moxxi's bar, everyone listened intricately to that part of the story and could only react with sheer horror and empathy towards Tina.

"Tina …" Lilith said softly and empathetically. "I'm so sorry … I didn't know-"

"SHHH! Let us finish the next part, girl." Tina interrupted Lilith. "Cuz' the next part is gonna be like super awesome and totally make up for my torture and abuse and crap."

"Uh … ok." Lilith said.

"Alright! So there I was, exhausted and hungry and thirsty and out of ammo for my rocket launcher and totally not up for rescuing a little girl from a large gang of bandits!" K.C. said loudly. "But I'd say 'SCREW IT!' and totally went up to the bandit camp and rescue that little girl from a large gang of bandits! TO THE EXTREME! So here's how it goes …"

* * *

_K.C. was at the brink of death by exhaustion as it is night time already and he finally reached what might be the bandit camp that was imprisoning Tina (I don't know, all bandit camps look the same). But considering this to be K.C. and this being the life of a little girl at stake here, he would draw the energy from the expanse of the universe if he has to. For in his mind, if he walks away from something like this, he won't consider himself a true man … EVER! Weirdly enough, for a heavily armed bandit camp, you'd expect there to be guards by the gate standing watch. Then, as K.C. climb the walls and took a peek inside the bandit camp, he notices that all the bandits seems to be having a party. There's a huge bonfire at the center of the camp and every bandit in the vicinity is cheering and dancing and drinking booze. K.C. carefully observe the whole area before spotting Tina being locked up in a small cage as well as a very large and very aggressive bandit sitting at a makeshift throne, which K.C. assumes to be the leader. After coming up with a rescue plan in his head, K.C. stands proud and tall at the edge of the outside wall so as to be seen by all bandits in the base. Then, K.C. began his opening speech, just like how he begins just about everything._

_"__YOU MOTHERF*CKERS!" K.C. yelled on the top of his lungs, loud enough to get the attention of every bandit in the camp as well as Tina. "Man, took me long enough to actually find this place! But a man never gives up, especially when trying to rescue a little girl from the grasp of you nasty bandits! For the universe did not began with a whimper, but with a BANG, so with a BANG, I shall do the heroic thing of ensuring the safety and well-being of the little girl as well as shoving a grenade into EACH and EVERYONE of your *SSHOLES! Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosiveness! The essence of a true MA-"_

_"__Hey! Who the f*ck are you?!" the boss bandit asked rudely at K.C._

_"__GRRRRR! Stop interrupting my speech! That is so not EXTREME! Also, you seriously don't know who I am?!" K.C said loudly. "I'm K.C. Dynamo, extraordinaire of EXPLOSIVE EXTREMENESS! I totally kicked the asses of some of you guys when you're trying to jump me while surrounding me with your rusty cars! I even blew up one of your cars with a rocket launcher!"_

_"__Huh, so what that guy said was true …" the boss bandit mumble to himself before shifting his focus back to K.C. "Well, it doesn't matter now! Get lost, kid! We don't want loudmouths on our camp! If you prefer to go against us, well … as you can see, you're clearly outnumbered, kid."_

_"__How humorous! The last time I recall, a lowly bunch of bandits in this sh*tty camp does not even come close to matching the power of the almighty K.C. Dynamo!" K.C. said loudly. "Also, you dare capture an innocent little girl and prepare to do unspeakable things to her! I'm NOT letting that happen! So I'll be the one to make the demands here! Let the girl go … or DIE IN THE MOST EXPLOSIVE AND MOST EXTREME WAY POSSIBLE!"_

_"__Heh, if that's the way you like it." the boss mumbled before raising his voice to rally his minion bandits. "Bandits! KILL HIM!"_

_Immediately, all the bandits in the camp roared in rage as they hastily arm their weapons and seek to murder the overly egotistical child. Meanwhile, K.C. acrobatically jumps and flips down to the main ground level as he swiftly maneuvers his way inside the bandits' quarters. K.C. thought to himself that he is outnumbered and low on ammo, so in order to regain advantage, he first needs to steal ammo from the bandits' crates as well as moving swiftly and unpredictably like a rat to avoid being overwhelmed. Once K.C. got himself enough rocket ammo and grenades, he then needs to lure the bandits into favorable positions before he lob several grenades and shoot several rockets at them, making the most of the splash damage. Once the herd of bandits is starting to thin out, he then proceed to close up the distance and bash the remaining bandits with the rocket launcher. He then acrobatically flips to evade attacks as well as to perform stylish but powerful flying kicks. Having K.C. repeatedly dishing out his signature taunts isn't helping out on the bandits' morale either._

_"__Sorry! My foot accidentally landed on your FAAAACCCCEEE!" K.C. said loudly before doing an acrobatic flying jump kick hard on one of the bandits face. "That was a lie, of course! I'M NEVER SORRY!"_

_"__Eat my pineapples, B*TCH!" K.C. said loudly as he forcefully shoved a live grenade into another bandit's mouth. K.C. then runs away as the grenade in the bandit's mouth went off, blowing up the bandit into tiny bloody pieces._

_"__ROCKET JUMP! WOOOOOOOH!" K.C said loudly as he soared through the sky while aiming and firing a rocket below, hitting and annihilating another tight group of bandits._

_"__The dragon just entered YOU!" K.C. said loudly as he does a powerful sidekick, Bruce Lee style, into one bandit that is knocked back into a group of other bandits, which therefore causes everyone to tumble down. "There's a sex joke in it somewhere but who gives a cockadoodle F*CK!"_

_"__Tatsu- … Tatsuma- … Tatsumaki Sen- … In-Air-Quarter-Circle-Back Kick!" K.C. said loudly and frustratingly as he performs what is clearly the Hurricane Kick (also known as the Tatsumaki Senpukyaku … look it up) on another group of bandits._

_"__Time for the extreme finale … GRENADE SHOWERS!" K.C. said loudly as he tosses a couple of MIRVs into the sky, which promptly blasted off every remaining bandit in the camp while leaving K.C. relatively unharmed. Any bandit left from the ordeal are already at the brink of overwhelming fear for they have realized they are not fighting a mere kid … they are fighting an EXPLOSIVE MOTHERF*CKIN BADASS!_

_"__Oh God! Who is this kid…?" one of the few remaining bandits said as he trembled in fear before K.C.'s sight._

_"__Run! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" another bandit yelled as he prepares to run out of the bandit camp and plans to never return._

_"__That's it! I'm getting out of here!" the remaining bandit said as he rallies the remaining bandits into an outrunner and proceeds to drive off towards the horizon, as long as it is far away from motherf*ckin K.C. Dynamo._

_As Tina watched from inside the cage, she is amazed at how K.C. handles the bandits like a BOSS! It only took a couple of minutes before the entire bandit camp is cleared out. Whoever is not dead has escaped and hopefully never come back. All that is left in the camp is Tina, K.C., … and the boss bandit. As K.C. position himself to meet face to face with the bandit boss, the boss stands up from his makeshift throne firm and tall as he quietly stares at K.C. . Even though you really couldn't tell due to the mask on his face, you can tell the boss bandit is most likely very pissed off._

_"__Seriously, who the f*ck are you?" the boss bandit said in a very low and angry tone._

_"__Oh! Didn't I already tell you that?! Pay attention! I'm K.C. Dynamo, suckers! And I am totally kicking your ass so hard your mom's ass can feel it while giving birth to you! It's like a time-traveling kicking of asses!" K.C. said loudly as he pumps both fists in the air. "WOOH!"_

_The boss bandit is clearly infuriated right now. Not only did this kid just killed or scared away all of his subordinate bandits, he displays an incredibly cocky attitude towards it; so much so that you immediately want to crack his skull open just by listening to his voice. And that is exactly what the boss bandit plans to do to him. As K.C. stands firm and proud while facing the boss bandit, the boss bandit slowly takes out his incredibly large butcher knife, preparing to slaughter the little bastard in front of him. K.C. saw the butcher knife but remains unfazed._

_"__Ooh! That's a really large knife you got there! Do you cut fruits and vegetables with that thing?!" K.C. said loudly, clearly taunting the boss bandit._

_That was the last straw. Immediately, the boss bandit charges towards K.C. with the butcher knife while letting out a raging roar. As the boss bandit was savagely swinging the butcher knife at K.C., K.C. manages to keep himself on his toes by dodging and maneuvering those attacks with the agility of a monkey. K.C. then tries to counter attack by landing several powerful haymakers, rapid straight punches, and several roundhouse kicks and side-kicks at different angles. However, those melee attacks barely did anything to the sufficiently larger opponent as the boss bandit didn't even flinch to K.C.'s punches and kicks. K.C. then change up his tactics a bit by taking out his rocket launcher and slam it straight into the boss bandit's face, which … still hardly had any effect. In fact, the boss bandit only seems to become angrier with every hit as he swings his butcher knife with increasing speed and force, which promptly cause K.C. to block them with the rocket launcher. Eventually, the boss bandit landed a strike so incredibly powerful, it split the rocket launcher cleanly in half, causing K.C. to be mildly shocked._

_"__Sh*t!" K.C. shouted while wide-eyed in shock as he rapidly tries to dodge the seemingly faster knife strikes from the boss bandit. _

_"__What's wrong, kid?! You're running out of steam?! You were so brave and heroic a while ago! What happened to you now, huh?!" the boss bandit taunted loudly as he continues to attack K.C._

_K.C. had no choice. He has to back up at a safe distance and lob grenades at the boss bandit, hoping that will somehow cause significant damage to him. K.C. moves a safe distance away from the boss bandit before taking out a grenade and throws it at the boss bandit. However, like something that you often only see in cartoons, the boss bandit saw the grenade incoming and promptly slam it back to K.C. with his butcher knife like a tennis racket hitting a tennis ball. K.C. was rightfully surprised by it as he jumps away from the countered grenade and avoided being blown to bits._

_"__Nice try, kid. I've been in the wasteland long enough to make sure that doesn't work on me." the boss bandit bragged._

_Immediately afterwards, K.C. improvised some more by grabbing an assault rifle lying nearby and fire at full-auto at the boss bandit. However, the boss bandit simply blocked most of the bullets with his large butcher knife placed in front of him, acting as a shield. Just when K.C.'s rifle ran out of bullets and he tried to reload, the boss bandit takes the opportunity to swing and throw the butcher knife right towards K.C. like a frisbee. K.C. manages to barely dodge that knife throw, as it only left him a bleeding slash wound at his right arm. As K.C. clutches on the wound while running for somewhere to hide, the boss bandit retrieved his butcher knife as he displays an arrogant grin on his face, seeing how the battle is somehow turning to his favor._

_"__Come on, kid! Is that all you got?! I am disappointed! You're just all-talk after all!" the boss bandit taunted loudly. "You couldn't protect that little b*tch and now you are going to die because of trying! Time to end this!"_

_K.C. is at wits end here. He's tried pounding that guy and it didn't do sh*t. He tried slamming him with the rocket launcher and that ended up breaking his rocket launcher in half like a toothpick. He tried grenades and the boss bandit knocked them back like ping pong balls. Now he realize he's in more danger than ever, for he is losing blood very quickly through his arm wound and is starting to loss focus. As the external pressure is starting to push K.C. to his extreme limit, he constantly thinks of various solutions to the problem right before him. There's got to be a way, K.C. thought. There's got to be …_

_Then, as K.C. was lying down inside one of the shacks inside the bandit camp, K.C. found some string lying around. String … BINGO! K.C. first uses the string to tie up his arm to restrict blood flow and therefore restrict blood loss. Afterwards, K.C. macgyver up something even more extraordinary … grenade bolas. Or basically two grenades linked together by a string._

_"__Hey, fat-ass!" K.C. taunted loudly as he twirl the grenade bolas to gather momentum before throwing it at the boss bandit. "Chew on this!"_

_The boss bandit instinctively uses the same technique that he would use with regular grenades. However, this time, the grenade bolas entwine themselves on the butcher knife instead of bouncing back like he expected. Before he even noticed it, the grenade bolas went off, triggering an explosion that resulted in the boss bandit's arm being blown clean off and causing him to scream in pain. Just to make sure he's dead, K.C. sling a couple more grenade bolas at the boss bandit, resulting in a bloody explosion that finally ended the long and epic boss fight. After K.C. makes sure the cost is clear, he steps out of the shack and let out a deep sigh of relief. As K.C. sat down on the dirt ground to take a couple moments to rest himself, he suddenly thought of something very VERY important._

_"__Sh*t! … I forgot to say my signature catchphrase before he died!" K.C. said loudly as he got back up from the ground. "What was it again?! Uh … Hasta la vista- wait no no … Yipee Kayee- uh nuh that's not it … ah, screw it! The moment is ruined anyway!"_

_As K.C. regains his composure and brush off the dust from his clothing, he proceed to approach Tina's cage and unlock it to see Tina sitting at a corner and hugging her legs, like a frightened cute little animal._

_"__It's alright, little girl! The bandits are all taken care of! You can come out now!" K.C. said loudly and kindly as he gently offers a hand for Tina to come out of the cage. _

_However, Tina still seems frightened, especially after seeing what K.C. did to the bandits. Despite of knowing he did to rescue Tina, she still couldn't help but feel kind of scared._

_"__You don't want to come out?!" K.C. said loudly but with a softer and gentler tone than before. "Alright then, I'm just saying! That cage is cold and dark and smells funny! I thought you might be more comfortable being outside! I'll get you some food and water, in case you're hungry and thirsty!"_

_K.C. brought some food and water and placed it near Tina's opened cage. K.C. then proceeds to scrounge around the bandit camp for supplies. Food, water, medicine, weapons, ammo, and other supplies are all going to be very important for his long-term survival, so he might as well do an inventory check of all the supplies he has. K.C. then proceeds to gather all of the usable supplies into one place at a table in the middle of the camp. The pile of supplies included some food, some water, a couple of health vials, and a sh*tload of guns and ammo found in just about everywhere, even toilets._

_"__Man! Just what is it with this planet having more guns and bullets than actual survival necessities like food and water! This is ridiculous! Or, to put it another way, it's my kind of ridiculous!" K.C. said loudly before he proceeds to walk away from the table to scrounger some more._

_Meanwhile, Tina took a peek outside of the cage to see the stockpile of supplies on the table. The energetic kid is not around at the moment, so she was not as afraid to come out now. As she approaches the stockpile, she notices something quite familiar among the many other objects surrounding it. A small and round rock-like object meant to be held tightly with one hand and thrown to create an explosion. A … hand grenade._

_"__Sweetheart … remember that heavy red rock I told you to hide in you dress?" Tina reminisced the last words of her recently dead mother. "Pull the pin at the top, then throw it at the wall!"_

_"__Mommy?" Tina remembered herself saying back then._

_"__Just run, Tina! RUUUUUAUGH!" Tina's mother yelled before drawing her last breath._

_As Tina picked up one of the hand grenades and glide her fingers at the various features, she couldn't help but remember every bitter detail of that incident that took her parents away as she shed a quiet stream of tears down her heartbroken face. Just like an instinct that she could barely control, she let her concentrated emotions of sorrow overtaken her as she pulls the pin off of the hand grenade and wait for it to go off. _

_"__Man, I could barely find anything over there! This is so not EXT-" K.C. said loudly as he walked back to the supplies table before seeing Tina standing idly and holding a live grenade on her hands, which made him literally freak out in a split second. "Oh sh*t!"_

_Just like the speed of lightning, K.C. dash towards Tina, snatch the grenade from her hands, throw it away at a far distance, and covers Tina with his own body to protect her from the blast before the grenade detonates. Luckily, both of them remained relatively unharmed by the blast. As both Tina and K.C. both make sure they are ok, they looked at each other silently for a brief while before K.C. practically flipping over in anger._

_"__GRRRRRRR! What in the ever-loving f*ck were you thinking, little girl?!" K.C. lectured loudly at Tina. "In case you haven't noticed, that thing you were holding before is a hand grenade! They can explode and are very VERY dangerous! Like 'everything obliterated with a 15 m radius after a couple of seconds' dangerous! Seriously, I just demonstrated using these on those bandits! I'm sure you have seen me fighting them with these, didn't you?! These are not meant to be used by amateurs, you understand, little girl?!"_

_After a brief moment of K.C. harshly lecturing Tina, Tina gradually started letting streams of tears and short sniffs before going flow-blown crying. K.C.'s reaction gradually went from harsh to regretful and apologetic._

_"__Oh crap … uh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say something like that! I was just very concerned about your well-being and didn't want you to get hurt and-" K.C. said loudly but apologetically as he tries to calm Tina down before Tina suddenly grabs hold on K.C. and hugs him tightly while continue to cry deeply. K.C. seriously don't even know how to react at this point and therefore remain frozen stiff as Tina continues to grip onto K.C. very tightly while letting her tears soak on K.C.'s clothes._

_"__Uh … little girl? Are … are you alright? Is there something bothering you-" K.C. said softly before being interrupted by Tina._

_"__MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!" Tina shouted in between her cries. That statement alone is enough for K.C. to be washed all over with sympathetic grief. "They were captured by Hyperion …*sniff*… and was taken to a base …*sniff*… and was experimented on …*sniff*… and I had to use a grenade to escape the lab …*sniff*… and … and … I MISS THEM SO MUCH! … I wanted to die …! …. It hurts …"_

_No longer did K.C. acted like the loudmouth idiot that he usually was. For one of those rare moments, he transforms into a quiet and gentle soul as he tenderly wraps his arms around Tina and softly brushes her short blond hair with his hands, hoping to comfort Tina even for a little while. It took a couple of minutes before Tina finally stopped crying. As she let out a mild pattern of the sniffles, Tina stares at K.C. for a moment while K.C. stares back. Their faces are only inches away from each other as they could both feel a warm emotional bond developing between them. Then, something extraordinary happened … K.C. gave Tina a powerful head-butt right in the forehead._

_"__OUCH! Owowowowow…" Tina shouted as she was holding onto her head due to the intense pain resulting from the head-butt. "What was that for-"_

_Before Tina could question K.C., K.C. pulled Tina toward him and gave her an affectionate hug even tighter than before. As Tina reacts by flushing a little, K.C. gently whispers to Tina's ear._

_"__I know how it feels …" K.C. said with his unusually gentle voice which makes Tina feel sympathetic towards K.C. "I have lost someone close to me as well … it was my mom … she died from a terrorist bombing … my dad couldn't save her … we were both in grief for way too long …" Then, K.C. slowly opens up the hug so that he could look Tina's eyes with an expression of serenity. "But … suicide shouldn't be the answer … it should never be … life by itself is a miraculous result of a gazillion of atoms colliding with each other over the course a bajillion years from the first massive explosion that gave birth to the universe … in other words, life is precious … life is beautiful … and life is explosive … so please, do not throw away your life so easily … do not squander the miracle of which your parents have created … cherish life … protect life … and live life to the extreme … if you strive to continue living by these principles, I'm sure your parents would be proud of you."_

_Tina was simply at the loss of words after hearing that. Never in her life had she heard something so philosophically deep and enlightening. It's even more surprising that those words came from this energetic loudmouth young explosives expert who moments ago threatens to shove a grenade up a bandit's ass. After a brief moment, Tina started crying again, but not because of sadness, but because of joy and comfort of knowing there is a person left in this world who wants her to live and will do just about anything to protect her. Tina gradually lays her head against K.C.'s chest as she cries while K.C. simply embraced her with his arms. The moment of 'the feels' was so strong that it took another couple of minutes before they are willing to let go of each other. Afterwards, they regain composure and started setting up the camp together before finally setting up a place to sleep. K.C. led Tina to a mattress inside one of the shacks. It's bloody and dirty and had a bad smell. It's also relatively one of the cleanest mattresses in the entire bandit camp. Beggars can't be choosers. Or, in this case, conquerors can't be choosers either. _

_"__Uh, yeah. This is pretty much the best mattress I could find around here. But, hey, at least it's not that rusted metal poop box they call a cage." K.C. said humorously. "I swear, they must have never heard of a poop bucket, or they didn't even bother. I can't tell if they are turning them into prisoners or turning them into violations of the Geneva conventions."_

_Tina giggled at the joke, even though she kinda don't understand a part of it. K.C. got a glance at the innocent and angelic smile and couldn't help but embarrassingly blush a little._

_"__Uh … hang on. You stay here while I'll try and see if I could find a blanket to … uh … cover all the bloodstains." K.C. said shyly while rubbing the back of his head due to slight embarrassment._

_As Tina sits herself on the mattress, K.C. slowly walks out of the shack. Before K.C. exits, Tina calls him out to tell him something._

_"__It's Tina, by the way." Tina said softly as she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear._

_"__Huh?" K.C. said as he confusingly turned around to look at Tina._

_"__My name … is Tina." Tina said with shifting eyes and blushing face, indicating extreme shyness._

_K.C. had finally heard her speak of her name for the first time, which makes K.C. feel gratifying._

_"__Tina … that's nice name … My name is K.C. Dynamo. But you can just call me K.C." K.C. said with mild cheerful confidence._

_"__Casey?" Tina said softly. Immediately, an angry vein was popped by K.C._

_"__GRRRR! No, it's K.C., not Casey!" K.C. said loudly and frustratingly._

_"__But that's what I said, Casey …" Tina said with an added hint of nervousness._

_"__No no NO! You're saying it like it has five letters instead of two! Try saying it with more explosiveness and more extremeness to it! I am really pissed off that people don't pronounce my name right!" K.C. complained loudly._

_Gradually, Tina started crying again, which causes K.C. to become regretful and apologetic once again._

_"__Oh crap … uh, I'm sorry! I'm EXTREMELY sorry, okay?! Say my name however you like! It doesn't matter! Really!" K.C. said loudly and apologetically. "Please don't cry! Please! Pretty please …"_

_As the two children quarrel with each other, over at the top is a clear night sky with sparkling stars, shining to commemorate their first eventful encounter with each other._


	28. Explosive Farewell

**Author's Note: Hey, there. Very sorry for taking so long to update my story. A lot of sh*t has been going on lately. First, the keyboard of my laptop just stopped working, so I have to buy a new one. Then there is just … procrastination. I'm just very prone to procrastination. You know how it is. Despite of that, I muster all my will to continue the story and to deliver chapters with a combination of both speed and quality because I've seen the comments and you guys are liking my story so far and I really don't want to disappoint you guys. That said, while I promise nothing, I'll try with the best of my abilities to come up with chapters more often and with better quality. As always, a comment would be appreciated. Thank you all so much for reading and appreciating this story. Enjoy the reads!**

Chapter 28: Explosive Farewell

"GRRRRRRR! Tinaaaaaaaa!" K.C. said loudly as he hugs Tina tightly and affectionately while letting out streams of tears.

"K.C. cccccccccc *sniff* waaaaaaaaaa" Tina said loudly as she hugs K.C. back equally as tightly and affectionately while letting out an equal amount of tears.

" Waaaaaaaa … you guys….." Gaige cried deeply as she joins in on the hugging by wrapping both Tina and K.C. with her arms.

"No llores. Eso me hace triste (Don't cry. It makes me sad.) Waaaaaaa!." Salvador cried just as well as he joined the group in the hugging by wrapping his arms around Gaige, Tina, and K.C.

" ughhhhhhh I can feel your pain, Tina … ugggghhhhhh" Brick cried while joining the group hug by hugging the entire group with his large and strong arms.

The story has emotionally moved almost everyone in the room. Gaige, Salvador, and Brick reacted the most dramatically. Lilith, Axton, Maya, Monty, Kazuki, Brandon, Patrick, Xiao Lan, and the cameraman were visibly letting out tears of empathetic sadness with an addition of the sniffles as they look like they are in desperate need of tissues. Mordecai had to take off his googles to wipe away his tears. Both Krieg and Mama Jaws had to take off their masks for a brief moment to wipe their tears as well. Even though Zer0 technically couldn't cry, you can see his red holographic emoticon displaying " (;^;) " representing his sadness. Camtrap technically couldn't cry either, but it still displays gestures of empathetic sadness upon hearing the story. However, the reaction of others was only moderate. Eugene didn't shed a tear, but you can see the usual smug smile being replaced by an empathetic frown as he remains quiet while lying against the table edge. Oleg didn't cry either, but seems to have a moderately more depressing face than he usually bears as well as momentarily losing interest in his bottle of vodka. Selena, on the other hand, didn't seem to be effected by the story at all as she maintains a stern and angry expression on her face while continue to lie still and quietly against the wall with her arms crossed. Eugene and Oleg might have been emotionally hardened by the countless depressing stories of war that this might seem pale in comparison. But for Selena … it's like she have a heart of ice.

"I've heard about part of Tina's backstory from Roland, about how her parents were experimented on by Hyperion. But I never would have guessed …" Mordecai said mournfully as he wiped away the last of his tears.

"If it wasn't for you, Tina would not be alive today." Lilith said as she regains her composure. "I have newfound respect for you, K.C."

"That's right, motherf*ckers! I'm the most explosive of the most EXPLOSIVE and the most extreme of the most EXTREME! And I would most definitely give my life to protect Tina! To the EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly, still letting out moderate streams of tears as he slowly breaks out of the group hug.

"So what happens afterwards? You said you know Roland. How did you guys met?" Lilith asked.

"Oh, that' right! We're going to be meeting Roland later on! But first, let me tell you about our adventures as we stayed at the camp for a couple of months!" K.C. said loudly. "So it was in the next morning, when the sun of Pandora shined brightly at the far horizon …!"

* * *

_"__GOOD MORNING, UNIVERSE!" K.C. practically yelled as he stand tall and proud on top of the camp's lookout post and stares at the rising Pandoran sun, signifying the dawn of a new day. "For you did not arrive into existence crying like a little b*tch, but exploded like a MAN, I shall start my mornings not with tiredness but with EXTREME enthusiasm to look forward for the day! TO THE EXTREME!"_

_As K.C. was making his morning speech that can be heard all over the camp, it woke Tina up like an alarm clock. As Tina got up tiredly from her mattress bed inside one of the shacks, she rubbed her eyes a little before exiting the shack. Afterwards, she looked around to see where K.C. is and found him standing on one of the lookout posts. But that is not the only thing that she saw. Not only is K.C. standing tall and proud with arms crossed while staring at the rising sun … K.C. also seems to be completely butt-naked. Tina's eyes widen with shock as she stares what appears to be K.C. bare butt-cheeks._

_"__Oh hey, Tina!" K.C. said loudly as he turned his head backward a little to look at Tina while giving her a manly thumbs-up. "It's good to wake up early in the morning to observe the birth of the day! To the EXTREME!"_

_"__AAAAHHHHH!" Tina yelled while trying to cover her eyes with her arms. "What are you doing, K.C.?! Put you clothes on!"_

_"__Nonsense! One must let his body bathe in the glorified light of the morning sun in order to truly feel the fresh energy of the dawn!" K.C. said loudly as he turns his head slightly and in danger of revealing his … yeah, you know what? I'll just leave that to your imagination (Oh, also NSFW)_

_"__AHH! Don't turn around! Put your clothes on first!" Tina shouted as she continues to cover her eyes with her arms, hoping to continue blocking out the indecent sight._

* * *

"Ahh … the glory of stripping naked and bathing in the morning sun! There's nothing like it!" K.C. said loudly as he poses on top of the table he's standing on with shameless pride.

Never has the emotional atmosphere changed so drastically. Minutes ago, it was filled with empathetic sorrow and grief. Now, it's filled with copious amounts of 'WTF!?' looks on everyone's faces as well as seeing K.C. as the idiot of social norms that he truly is.

"Wow … I've suddenly lost all my respect for you." Lilith said with monotone.

"Ahh, yes. The moment in which K.C. showed me his glorified dawg of hotness~. The stick of flesh~. The wang-a-lang~." Tina said with mocking seductiveness as she approaches to K.C., wrapping one arm around his shoulders and gliding a finger of her other arm on K.C.'s chest. "To this day, I could still remember the intricate details … the length … the girth … the wrinkled bag with the giant beans inside…*drools*…"

"TINA! NSFW! TMI!" Both Lilith and Maya shouted, seriously concerning the innocence of the 13 year-old's mind. "Also, STOP DROOLING!"

"Huh, I dunno. I think this El Nino (little kid) got the right idea. I think I might try to go naked in front of the morning sun from now on." Salvador said with no sense of sarcasm at all.

"Salvador! Do that and I'll have my Deathtrap fry you with his laser eye!" Gaige threatened.

"Pfft, you think that'll stop people from going ass-naked in the mornin'? This skaglickin' kid certainly ain't gonna stop, even after gettin' his ass handed to him by our broodin' Hyperion blondie over there." Mama Jaws interjected as she pointed her thumb towards Selena.

"GRRR! Stop reminding me of that time! That is so not EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly as he basically threw a light tantrum. "Besides, I wasn't even serious that time!"

"Oh please, kid. Admit it. You couldn't kick that girl's ass when she insulted your friend, so you sure as hell couldn't kick that girl's ass when she's mad at you for flashing in front of her." Eugene said smugly.

"Wait, K.C. got his ass handed to that Hyperion chick before the incident at the memorial?" Mordecai asked.

"Well, yeah. We all remembered it like it was yesterday." Monty said. "I was preparing breakfast on the airship a couple days ago while most of the corporate vault hunters and part of the camera crew were in the eatery. Then suddenly 'BAM!' K.C. came out of nowhere mooning with more shine than moonshine. I believe he is also delivering an enthusiastic speech about the universe and Extremeness and such. Oh, and I also made spiderant omelets that day. Delicious."

"Cooking references aside, it was not a pleasant sight, needlessly to say." Kazuki added elegantly. "Naturally, most of us ignored the erratic behaviors of the explosive child on the grounds of his immature age. But, Selena took it one step further and sternly demanded K.C. to put his clothes back on. K.C. refused and they had a brief argument before they started brawling violently."

"Ugh … What happened during the fight was brutal. I don't believe anyone can do that to a child without cringing. But it was like this rep from Hyperion has no remorse or empathy whatsoever." Brandon said nervously. "That woman basically beat the kid to a pulp faster than I file my own taxes, and I do say I file my taxes pretty damn fast."

"She threw punches, kicks, and grappling moves faster than the normal human eye can see." Eugene said smugly. "The fight ended in mere seconds and the Hyperion girl won by a landslide. After that incident … let's just say a couple of health vials doesn't heal your pride."

"GRRR! I said stop reminding me of that battle!" K.C. complained loudly before he focuses his attention to Selena. "And YOU! Don't think for a second that I forgot about you insulting Roland! I can TOTALLY take you on if I wanted to!"

Selena remains silent as she lay back on the wall with arms crossed. It was a moderate act of ignoring the kid's taunt at best, though you could still get a sense that Selena is getting more and more annoyed the more she is around K.C.

"GRRRR! Don't you ignore me-" K.C. taunted loudly before being held back by Lilith with her hand lightly grabbing on his shoulder.

"Don't waste your energy on her, kid. I'm sure she'll get what's coming to her." Lilith suggested. "Now let's get back to storytelling."

"Oh, that's right!" K.C. said loudly as he clears his throat before he continues the story. "So there I was with Tina, in the middle of the Pandoran's craphole and living the life of the harshness of the wasteland …"

* * *

_Back at the camp, K.C. finishes stockpiling supplies and is now working on creating defenses for the camp, mainly proximity mines. To avoid being attacked constantly or having unwanted people sneak into the camp, these mines will be sufficient for the job. However, the amount of explosive material that is found in the camp is in short supply. Therefore, it would not sustain a battle on the long-run. As K.C. figures out a plan in his head, he continues to tinker with the mechanisms of the large round proximity mines. Meanwhile, Tina was standing nearby and intriguingly watching K.C. doing his work. K.C. notices Tina's interest and decides to stop working for a while to address it._

_"__What are you looking at, Tina?! You seem interested in my work in bomb-making!" K.C. asked loudly._

_"__Well … I just thought that I could … learn a thing or two about handling explosives myself … you know … to defend myself." Tina said shyly as she rubs one of her elbows to demonstrate her timidness._

_K.C. raises an eyebrow out of surprise. Tina actually wants to break out of her shell to learn how to defend herself. If her intentions were true, it would be admirable. But, ever since that incident with the grenade, K.C. had his doubts._

_"__You really want to learn how to be an expert in the EXTREMENESS of EXPLOSIVES?! How do I know you're not going to blow yourself up again?!" K.C. questioned loudly as he crossed his arms sternly._

_"__No, I'm not going to do that again! I promise!" Tina pleaded. "I realize what you have said to me before. That life is a precious thing and shouldn't be thrown away. That explosives are a dangerous thing and should be handled carefully. That's why I want to learn how to be strong … like you …K.C. … so I could defend my own life as well."_

_Immediately afterwards, Tina gently grabbed onto one of K.C.'s hands with both of hers. K.C. could only react by standing stiff like an idiot and blushing red on his cheeks. K.C. also couldn't look away from Tina's puppy eyes staring straight towards his own._

_"__Please … K.C. … could you teach me how to be strong?" Tina said softly as she stares eye to eye with K.C._

_"__Uh … *clears throat* …um, okay … huh … okay…" K.C. said nervously as he gently let go of Tina's hands and act all flustered. He can somehow feel his heart skipped a beat when he is in close proximity with Tina. "Well, if you insist, I shall teach you the secret art of explosives! But you gotta do everything I say! There is no room for error in the work of explosives! Got it?!"_

_"__Aye sir!" Tina said with a cutesy salute, eyes brimming with enthusiasm and anticipation._

_"__Okay! First rule of handling explosives: Attitude!" K.C. said loudly._

_"… __huh? Attitude?" Tina said as she tilted her head sideways out of confusion._

_"__That's right! Everyone who has been famous for doing whatever the sh*t they are doing has got to have attitude! I don't care how hark-working you are, if you don't got attitude, you can only go so far!" K.C. explained loudly. "For example, I've got the attitude of being EXTREME at my concoction of explosives, so my explosions are also at its EXTREME! In fact, my personality is so EXTREME, it's somehow amplifies the potency of the explosives that I use! That's like a scientific fact or something!"_

_"__Ooh, that sounds fun! Let me try!" Tina said delightfully as she demonstrates her own version of attitude. " *clears throat* … EXTREME! The UNIVERSE begins with a BANG! EXPLOSIONS!"_

_"__Wait! NONONONONO!" K.C. interrupted loudly, halting Tina's performance. "I'm not telling you to imitate me! That's not what attitude is! You got to form an identity of your own! A personality that is strong-willed but also something that you can grow into, you know! Try again!"_

_"__Awww … but I don't know how … I'm just a little girl … how can I ever have a personality that is strong?" Tina whimpered._

_"__Hmm … AHA! Got an idea!" K.C. said loudly before taking out an ECHO device. "Here! Use this! It can give you access to the ECHOnet so you can learn all sorts of attitude badassery from it! Here, I'll even bookmark some links for you! There a site with instructions on different personality traits. Here's 'How to be Gangsta!', 'How to be British~', and 'How to be girly'."_

_"__But I'm already a girl." Tina questioned._

_"__YOU STILL NEED TO KNOW HOW TO BE GIRLY!" K.C. shouted. "Now watch all of the instructional videos for a couple of days and see how that goes for you!"_

_And so, while K.C. continues to work on the proximity mines, Tina continues to work on her attitude. After listening about a hundred rap songs, drink about a couple gallons of English breakfast tea, and sleep with a couple of stuffed bunny rabbits, Tina has … metamorphosed into what she is today._

* * *

"Don't forget the crumpets, son. Crumpets are the DOPE!" Tina blurted out, interrupting K.C.'s storytelling.

"ARGH!" K.C. said loudly, sticking his tongue out to display his disgust. "Even after all these years, you still haven't abandoned your obsession of the British version of crappy breakfast bread! Seriously, every time we had a tea party together, I demand to be served with energy drinks and thick-cut bacon, but nooooooo….!"

"Aww, how cute~. You hatin' the stuff that I like. Don't be a hater, man. Don't be hatin'." Tina said with a cute voice while gently patting K.C.'s head. "Suffice to say, K.C. here may be the person to deserve credit for maintains and preserving my sanity."

Most people in the bar curled their eyebrows in doubt. They don't think 'sanity' is the right word.

"So, anyway, after a couple of days of EXTREME attitude training…!" K.C. said loudly as he continued the story.

* * *

_It was in the morning of a Pandoran day. The sun was barely out yet as a creepy figure was sneaking into the shack that K.C. sleeps in. Just as the figure approaches the sleeping K.C., it is about to wake him up in scariest way possible. First, the creepy figure tickles K.C.'s faces so he is willing to open his eyes willingly to see who is in front of him. What K.C. saw … was a small figure wearing a bandit mask._

_"__BOO!" the creepy figure shouted while flailing its arms in the air, scaring K.C. sh*tless. _

_"__AHHHH!" K.C. shouted just as loud, as he was genuinely shocked and frightened for a brief moment before listening to the creepy figure cackle like a maniac. The creepy figure took off the mask to reveal that it is just Tina, putting a bandit mask onto to scare K.C. _

_" __Ahahahaeheheheahaha … homie, you should had seen dat face on ya. It's mad hilarious, yo!" Tina said, apparently grasping the idea of having attitude. _

_"__Motherf*ckin Jesus Explosive orgasm! I know you're trying to work on your attitude, but don't ever try to scare me like that again! When I'm in my fight-or-flight response, I am liable to punch people really hard in the face!" K.C. said loudly as he got up from his dirty mattress on the floor. _

_" __Tsk, fine. I thought I could give you a good scare by borrowing one of the psycho masks I found lying around." Tina said as she took off the bandit mask. "Now, if you excuse me~, I have a tea party to attend to. Fluffy Melonbottom and Daisy Swisspussy had to discuss Rainbow Marshmallow Land politics with me and time is of the essence."_

_Just as Tina put down the bandit mask on a table, K.C. sees the mask and thought of an idea. K.C. then grabs the mask and halted Tina._

_"__Tina, wait!" K.C. said loudly, which caught Tina's attention. K.C. then tries to put the mask on Tina. However, this time, the mask is adjusted so that the mask cover is covering the left side of Tina's head. "There! I think you look good wearing the mask like this! What do you think?!"_

_Tina feel the mask wrapped around her head in this unique style, thinking it's kinda cool in a Pandora's psychotic way, and decided to keep it as her permanent style._

_" __*Gasp* I FREAKIN' LOVE IT! This look got just the right amount of psycho to scare off other psychos. Fo' shizzle! Just wait and see, K.C. I'm gonna pot-roast all the babies … ALL OF THEM! Muahahahaha….." Tina said with maniacal delight before excitedly grabbing K.C.'s arm by the wrist and pulling him out of the shack. "C'mon, tea-partying awaits!"_

_"__Whaaaaat?! I only get tea! I need something that's more invigorating in the morning! Something with enough caffeine to make elephants do street-dancing!" K.C. complained loudly. "Seriously, where do I get a can of Torgue's EXTREME Man-Juice when I needed it?!"_

* * *

"Yeah … I don't see how this is relevant to Roland-" Lilith said with slight aggravation.

"Shush shush shush! Here comes the fun part!" Tina interrupted Lilith abruptly.

"Yeah! This is the part where I teach Tina the essentials of using explosives and becoming a BADASS F*CKER OF BUNNIES!" K.C. added loudly.

* * *

_Both Tina and K.C. were outdoors in the center of the camp in the middle of a day of calm breeze and warm sunlight. They are about to embark into the real training of the discipline of explosives._

_"__Ok! Now you basically got the attitude of an explosives expert right, it's time for explosive chemistry basics!" K.C. said loudly as he uses hand gestures to further emphasize his words. "Here are some of the rules you need to keep in mind when handling explosives! Rule #1: Explosives are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! Rule #2: Explosives are EXTREMELY USEFUL! Rule #3: Explosives are EXTREMELY AWESOME!"_

_"__Wait … what you mean', son? These rules conflict like my left butt cheek conflict with my right butt cheek when I fart." Tina said confusingly._

_"__Allow me to clarify! Just like everything else that has ever been invented by mankind, explosives are a type of technology! While you can use it for mining, demolition, fireworks, and the occasional medicine for the heart, its ultimate purpose is to BLOW SH*T UP!" K.C. explained loudly. "And just like all technology, it doesn't have a conscience and will only act accordingly to both the will of its user and environmental factors! If people stop using explosives to kill each other, they are just going to use other stuff to kill each other like guns, knives, bows and arrows, and stick and stones! At least when you use explosives to kill people, they go out in a BANG! Therefore, in order to truly utilize explosives to the safest and with the most potential, you need to respect explosives like you respect yourself! In other words …"_

_"__In other words…?" Tina asked curiously._

_"__In other words … YOU GOTTA TREAT EXPLOSIVES LIKE IT'S A FREAKIN' BABY AND/OR SEX PARTNER AND/OR PUPPY AND/OR MOLDING CLAY AND/OR YOUR BREAKFAST!" K.C. said loudly._

_"__Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Tina said with mild shock._

_"__That's right! You gotta feed it, pet it, cuddle it, snuggle it, twist it, squish it, throw it, catch it, kiss it, hug it, and occasionally take your pants off and f**k it!" K.C. said loudly with no sense of sarcasm at all. "But most importantly … YOU GOTTA EAT IT!"_

_" __*Gasp* Say whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" Tina said while jaw-dropped and eyes wide open as K.C. took a round chunk of C-4 to show to Tina._

_"__Here is a round chunk of C-4! And you … ARE GOING TO SHOVE IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND SAVOR THE FLAVOR!" K.C. said loudly._

_" … __no … No … NOOOOOOOOO!" Tina backed away as if she sees the dynamite like she sees a green salad plate trying to force its way into her mouth. (Well, Tina thought she'll take C-4 to the mouth over a salad any day, but still …)_

_"__Eat it! EAT IT!" K.C. practically shouted as he's trying to force that chunk of C-4 into Tina's mouth like parents trying to cram medicine into sick children._

_[Info Disclaimer: C-4 is a toxic substance. Do not try to eat it in real life. Also, explosive materials in general are pretty dangerous. Do not handle it without expert supervision. I don't want to get sued.]_

* * *

Both K.C. and Tina cackled loudly as they reminisced of the times when K.C. teaches Tina the basic essentials of explosives handling (or K.C. trying to prank Tina, whichever way you look at it). While some of the audiences to the story were mildly humored, others were not as impressed.

"You do realize you two are crazy, right?" Eugene pointed out smugly.

"I know, right?! How could you children even survive taking on dangerous and irresponsible acts like these? It's a miracle that Tina didn't die from chemical poisoning!" Brandon said while slightly outraged. "Oh, if only child protection services exist on Pandora …"

"Oh, blow it out ya skaghole, kill-joy." Mama Jaws countered. "That's not da worst thing youngin's on Pandora has survived. Hell, I got through most of mah life eatin' people meat and I did okay."

"I'm seriously wondering whether K.C. is a bad influence on Tina." Maya said while rolling her eyes towards the explosive pair's idiotic past.

"Yo' girl, don't you hate on mah upbringin'!" Tina countered while hugging K.C.'s arm tightly. "K.C.'s mah bro and mah ho! I ain't leavin' his side! NEVER!"

"Relax, Tina. We wouldn't think of separating you two … for now." Lilith assured Tina.

"Yeah … so, anyway, for a couple of months, I teach Tina explosives and we generally have a good time for once on Pandora!" K.C. said loudly as he continued the story. "Occasionally, we blow up a couple of bandits and some skags, but, you know, sh*t happens! Then, suddenly, something happened that will forever change our very lives …"

* * *

_" __*Sigh* …" Brad sighed tiredly as he wanders in the middle of the Pandoran desert with his security team. "Where the heck is that brat? Children are so annoying sometimes."_

_As Brad and his Torgue security team tread through miles of sand for who knows how long, Brad becomes increasingly irritated. Because of an explosively aggravating kid got lost while desiring for a mischievous adventure in an unforgiving wasteland, Brad might have to face the wrath of the 'God of explosives' himself. Brad only wishes he'd at least get a quick and painless death if by chance K.C. was in some sort of danger and he is held responsible. Then again, K.C. is the son of the infamous explosives expert, so he'd probably be okay, right? Right …_

_[Hey, Brad!] Suddenly, the ECHO device from Brad spoke up, which spooked Brad a little. Brad grabbed it to see it's from Mister Torgue. [Have you found K.C. yet?!]_

_" __*Sigh* … nope. Still working on that." Brad said disappointingly._

_[Well, you better hurry up! Peter's been bugging me a lot from planetary transmission about K.C.'s whereabouts and I don't know what to tell him!] Mister Torgue said loudly but nervously._

_"__Well, why are you rushing me, then?" Brad said with slight annoyance. "It was you who brought that kid here. Not me. Now, I have to be the one to clean up your mess."_

_[Is that how you are supposed to talk to your superior?!] Mister Torgue said incriminatingly._

_"__Well … uh … no, I just-" Brad said, suddenly regretting speaking up to Mister Torgue._

_[Ha! Just kidding! You know I'm not the type of person to use authority to belittle people! We are best buds more than we are associates working for the same company!] Mister Torgue said loudly. [If worst come to worst, K.C. does end up being a pile of dead rotten meat, I'll make sure I'll take all the responsibility for it! You won't have to worry!]_

_"__Oh God. Please don't try to jinx it. That sort of imagery could probably make me lose my lunch. And I haven't even eaten lunch yet." Brad said with disgust._

_[Don't worry! It won't happen to K.C.! He's too EXTREMELY AWESOME to be dead just yet!] Mister Torgue assured loudly._

_"__I hope you're right. Anyway, the sun's going down. I'll call it a day after a couple of minutes. Meet you back at base." Brad said._

_[Sure thing! Good luck!] Mister Torgue said loudly before ending transmission._

_Afterwards, Brad sighed tiredly as he and his team continues to tread slowly across the Pandoran desert looking for K.C. with little hope of actually finding him. Then, suddenly …_

_"__WOOH!" Suddenly, an outrunner just came by Brad and his team and doing circles around them. Inside the vehicle are K.C. and Tina trying out on some underage driving (Scooter: Well, technically, there ain't no legal age limits to drivin' on Pandora. So … Catch-a-ride, youngin's!) while looking totally badass (or totally crazy). Brad and his team couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the kid they are desperately looking for immediately appearing in front of them._

_"__Alright! We are totally kicking it! Doing donuts in the sand!" K.C. yelled as he is steering the outrunner and maneuvering in a wildly circular fashion. "I wonder if donuts taste good if they are sandy?! But WHO GIVES A F*CK?!"_

_"__Hell, I'll still eat 'em!" Tina added loudly. "Donuts are like crumpets, only O-shaped! Oh look, who are these motherhumpas that we've been circling around?!"_

_"__Hey, Brad!" K.C. said loudly while seeing Brad before taking a second to realize that it's Brad, as in the same guy trying to find K.C. and bringing him back to Mister Torgue. "Oh sh*t, it's Brad! We gotta make a run for it! Or a drive! Whatever! We need to get the f*ck outta here!"_

_Immediately, K.C. maneuvers the outrunner so that it drives full speed away from Brad and his team and towards the distant horizon. It took a while before Brad snapped out of it and realized that he found K.C. and sh*t just got real._

_"__SH*T! It's K.C.!" Brad practically shouted. "We need to follow them! Hurry! Also, someone contact Mister Torgue!"_

_Meanwhile, K.C. and Tina had returned to their base with their outrunner. K.C. immediately starts packing some essentials in a sack, which got Tina a bit confused._

_"__What you doing, K.C.? Why you packin'?" Tina asked._

_"__Those guys that we saw earlier! Brad and those soldiers from Torgue! They're out to get me!" K.C. said loudly. "Remember that I mentioned that I didn't exactly have permission from my uptight dad to begin with?!"_

_"__Oh yea. Yo' dad who has ass that's too tight and make you eat disgusting greens. Ugh! Yea, you told me a bunch of times. Also, this Mister Torgue 'God-dad' guy who snuck you on board anyway. What about it?" Tina said casually._

_"__Well, they are probably going to be looking at me at this place soon enough! So, we need to abandon this base and hide somewhere else for a while!" K.C. explained loudly._

_"__Whaaaaaat? Pfft, you wanna leave this place. But this place got so many memories, son. This hood's tight as hell." Tina argued._

_"__Trust me, Tina! We will come back to this base later on! We just need to hold up somewhere to avoid detection!" K.C. assured loudly._

_"__Yeah, okay. I'll go where you'll go, K.C. We stick together. Wherever. Forever." Tina agreed delightfully._

_"__That's my girl!" K.C. cheered loudly while they both hastily pack up the essentials._

_Before long, K.C. and Tina wanders out of the base and walks aimlessly for a while until they came to a cave, also known by many local Pandorans as the Lost Cave (or, if you have played the first Borderlands, the cave that is full of crabworms!). K.C. and Tina went in and fought off a couple of crabworms (in the most EXTREME way possible, of course. Like, with dynamites and flammable farts and sh*t) before finally setting a campfire on one of the locations inside the cave. Both K.C. and Tina huddle closely at the campfire while taking out stuff to eat from their backpacks._

_"__Hmm, I got some crabworm meat that I grabbed from the crabworms!" K.C. said loudly before piercing a piece of crabworm meat with a sharp kebab stick and cooks it over the fire. "Wonder how it tastes!"_

_K.C. cooks the crabworm for a few minutes before putting it in his mouth and tasting it. Then he immediately spit it out in disgust as he realized that he probably didn't cook the meat right or crabworm meat just taste awful in general._

_"__Ahahahahaha!" Tina laughed like a maniac as she stuff her mouth with her stash of crumpets that she brought with her. "Remind me never to have you cook. Wanna try some of mah crumpets?"_

_"__No! Crumpets are flour-y and dough-y and EXTREMELY NOT LIKE MEAT!" K.C. said loudly with a slight tantrum._

_"__You ate the last of your canned meat~. You either eat mah crumpets or you starve to death~. Take your pick~." Tina said slyly before taking one of her crumpets and approach K.C. as an attempt of possibly forcing it in his mouth. "Eat it … Eat it …"_

_"__Oh no … Nooooooo! Deja vu has come to haunt me! Karma's a b*tch!" K.C. said loudly and nervously while trying to back away from Tina with a crumpet in her hand. Tina couldn't help but feel a sadistic joy as she was about to make K.C. savor the BLOODY MOTHERF*CKIN CRUMPET!_

_"__EAT IT!" Tina yelled as she tries to maneuver around K.C.'s arms to cramp the crumpet in his mouth._

_"__NOOOOOOOOO!" K.C. yelled before finally feeling the doughy texture of the English breakfast cake in his mouth._

* * *

"NOOOOOO! AAAAAHHHHH!" K.C. cried loudly and nervously as he demonstrates his fear of the dough in front of everyone. "THE HORROR! THE CRUMMY GRIDDLED HORROR!"

Some of the audience was weirded out by this whole story while others got a good laugh from it. Tina and Gaige, due to their childlike immaturity, laugh like maniacs towards the story.

" *Chuckles* One of the funniest tales of cooking gone wrong." Monty said casually. "You're not even supposed to cook crabworms like that. Crabworms' skin had a kind of slimy coating with enzymes that kills germs, hence their disgusting taste. Crabworms are best prepared by salting and drying them before cooking them."

"Interesting fact, cowboy chef! But maybe next time, I'll just stick with rotten skag meat instead!" K.C. said loudly.

"So this next part is where it gets real interesting. For real! We were hangin' out at the spooky little cave for a while when suddenly …" Tina said as she continued the story.

* * *

_It was nighttime, although the two children could hardly tell as they are inside the cave. They could, however, feel a bit of exhaustion, as it's been a long day. As the campfire dwindles, K.C. and Tina are both sitting on the dirt floor next to the fire, with Tina gently leaning her head on K.C.'s shoulder. K.C. could feel his relationship with Tina being immensely closer, perhaps more than just friends. K.C. starts to warm up to the little girl due to feeling less embarrassed and more comforting being near her. At the same time, Tina grow out from its shell and become a more optimistic and cheerful child (despite of also being a little bit crazier) as she learns more and more from K.C. on how to survive in Pandora. Overall, it's been a good couple of months and they had fun together and happy when being around with one another and that's all that mattered. But, as time goes on, K.C. wonders about the future …_

_"__Hey, Tina." K.C. said softly, which is a tone of voice that he rarely uses._

_"__Yeah …" Tina said equally softly, with some indication that she is currently half-asleep._

_"__I know that this may sound sad to you, but … what happens when I'm gone?" K.C. said softly._

_"__What do you mean?" Tina said with slight surprise as she lifted her head from K.C.'s shoulder to look at K.C. straight in the eye._

_"__I mean … my dad … He's a stubborn man. He's kind of an asshole, sure, but he is also stubborn. I bet that sooner or later he'll come to Pandora and will stop at nothing to look for me here." K.C. said softly before staring back at Tina with a mildly sad face. "And once he got a hold of me, he may be even stricter. He might not let me come back to Pandora ever again. I don't know what I could do if that happens. I mean … I don't want to leave. During these past couple of months, I made a lot of memories here. Sure, it was hell, but it was also heaven. I mean … the adventure, the freedom, the thrills, and most importantly … meeting you."_

_Tina eyes widen as she was touched by K.C.'s emotional words. Then Tina displays a warm smile, indicating that she knows how K.C. feels. During the time, Tina had fun too. She enjoys the explosions, the misadventures, the social interaction of someone her age and who understands her. Someone that she would give everything to protect and hold dear because she knows that person would have done the same. So of course it would be sad for K.C. to possibly never see Tina again._

_"__Tina … I … what I'm trying to say is-" K.C. said softly before his mouth was cuffed by Tina's hand._

_"__I know." Tina replied softy while slowly releasing her hand on K.C.'s mouth. "I like having you around as well. And I would do anything to make sure you are safe as well. I also wish that we'll be together till Mr. Universe ate a bad lunch and farted so loud that he spontaneously exploded." Tina then uses her hand to hold onto K.C.'s hand. It felt warm and comforting, as it kind of gives off some sort of tingly feeling within both K.C. and Tina. "Not your dad, not anyone will pull us apart. I'll stick dynamite up their asses before that happens. I make sure of it."_

_"__Tina …" K.C. said softly with a warm smile while leaning his forehead to touch with Tina's._

_"__K.C. …" Tina replied softly with the same warm smile as she gently rubs her forehead with K.C.'s._

_Both K.C. and Tina were starting to fall asleep as their heads touch and their fingers intertwined. The campfire has finally smoldered out and the pair enjoyed a moment of peace and quiet for once. Then, suddenly, loud explosion noise can be heard from a far distance in the cave. That noise woke up both K.C. and Tina just in time before they had fallen completely asleep. K.C. and Tina remain alerted and curious as to the origin of the explosion._

_"__What was that?" Tina asked nervously._

_"__I don't know! Stay here, Tina! I'll go check it out!' K.C. said loudly._

_"__No! I'm coming with you." Tina pleaded._

_" __*Sigh* Okay … but … just stay close to me." K.C. said gently._

_"__Okay." Tina agreed._

_K.C. grab hold of his Torgue rocket launcher and some grenades while Tina grabbed some dynamite. They both hurried towards the source of the explosions through the intricate tunnels of the cave. As soon as they came to the location, they had finally seen the source … Hyperion robots. There are probably at least a few dozen loaders of various types along with a giant constructor right in the middle of the group. It's basically an army of Hyperion robots; an army far too powerful for even the explosive duo to handle._

_"__What the heck are these Hyperion rust buckets doing here?!" Tina asked loudly._

_"__Mining?! Night hike?! Having a crabworm barbeque?! I don't know! Who gives a f*ck?!" K.C. said loudly before he readies his rocket launcher. "Let's waste 'em! To the EXTREME!"_

_"__Hell yes!" Tina agreed with enthusiasm as she readies her supply of dynamite._

_Immediately, K.C. launches a fury of rockets at the group of Hyperion robots while Tina flings a couple of dynamite to add to the mix. Some of the loaders were quickly destroyed, prompting the other robots to move in on the pair and open fire. At first, K.C. and Tina thought they could handle it, but soon, they feel like they are being overpowered. The number of loaders seems to steadily increase despite of K.C. and Tina's efforts of destroying them. If that wasn't trouble enough, the constructor at the far back starts to construct more robots, which included badass loaders and a couple of surveyors. As the badass loaders pepper the pair with incendiary autocannons, the pair prompted to seek cover while the surveyors adapts to their defensive tactic by maneuvering from behind and hit them with shock bolts._

_"__I FRICKIN' HATE THESE THINGS!" K.C. loudly remarked the surveyors as he tries to destroy the agile flyers with his rockets with barely any luck. "Whoever designed these things must be a real NOOB!"_

_"__I know right?! I'm tired of these motherhumpin' surveyors up in my motherhumpin' hood!" Tina added loudly, as the surveyors are even harder to pin down with dynamite._

_Suddenly, K.C.'s shields were drained from repeated hit-and-run shock bolts from the surveyors and K.C. began to take damage from his health. One of the shock bolts hit him right at the shoulder, which causes him to bleed profusely as he screams out in pain._

_"__K.C.!" Tina yelled as she saw K.C. taking damage._

_"__GRRR! I'll be alright! I just need to-" K.C. tried to say before being interrupted by a BUL loader pushing back and knocking both K.C. and Tina off their feet. _

_Afterwards, several EXP loaders converge into the pair, ready to blow themselves up in order to do tremendous damage to them. K.C. realizes it and is determined to stop them._

_"__NO! You're not going to hurt Tina! I won't let you! AAAAAHHHHH!" K.C. yelled as he charges towards the group of incoming EXP loaders with a couple of grenades in his hands._

_"__K.C.! NO!" Tina yelled as she tries to stop it, but was too late._

_K.C. runs towards the group of EXP loaders until they are within the range of grenades. Then he pull the pins on all of the grenades and throws it around him, causing an enormous explosion that took out all of the EXP loaders, but resulting in damaging K.C. as well. After the smoke cleared, Tina ran towards K.C.'s location to see K.C. lying on the ground bleeding and bruised._

_"__Oh my God! K.C.! Are you alright?! Please don't die! Not on my ass, you're not! Please don't die!" Tina said with shock and fright as she moves K.C. up from the ground._

_" __*Cough* Don't worry … I won't die … *Cough* " K.C. said with a weak voice as he tries to barely stand while coughing up drops of blood. "I'm motherf*ckin' K.C. Dynamo … I won't die that easily … plus, I wouldn't let them hurt you, Tina …"_

_" __*Sniff* … you idiot …" Tina said with streams of tears running down her eyes as she tries to carry K.C. over her shoulder so they could get out of danger._

_As they try to move, they see that even more Hyperion robots are coming their way and they are not backing down. As they continue to pursuit the pair, K.C. and Tina try their best to escape them, albeit with futility. K.C. feels tremendous pain all over his body from the explosion, particularly from one of his legs which was broken. It is not so much as a run as it is a crawl for the pair. As the situation remains desperate, a choice has to be made._

_" __*Cough* … Tina … hey, Tina …" K.C. said with his weak voice._

_"__What? What are you trying to say?" Tina said while breathing heavily, for carrying another person equal in her weight can be exhausting._

_" … __leave me … you need to escape … I'll only slow you down …" K.C. said, his voice getting increasingly raspy._

_"__What?! No! I'm not leaving you! I'm gonna get you outta here! We could get out of here together! I know we can! Come on!" Tina said loudly as she barely had any more energy left._

_" … __*Cough* … Tina … be reasonable-" K.C. said weakly before being interrupted._

_"__No! You shut your motherhumpin' mouth! I'm not leaving you even if I have to drag you outta here myself! You hear me?! We gonna get out here alive! Then we gonna play together and make explosives together and eat crumpets together and…" Tina whimper as she breathes heavily and allows even more tears to flow from her eyes, knowing that the chances of survival are slim, despite of her wanting to believe otherwise._

_K.C. knows there is no reasoning to Tina at a situation like this. So K.C. pushes Tina away from him and allows himself to kneel on the ground, refusing to leave and hoping Tina would get the hint and at least get out alive. Instead, Tina persists on carrying K.C. up from his kneeling position by desperately pulling his arms and yelling him to get up._

_"__K.C.! Get up, please! Please! C'mon! We can still get through this! We can still-" Tina yelled desperately before K.C. interrupted her._

_"__TINA!" K.C. yelled with all the strength he could muster, which briefly silence Tina._

_As the Hyperion robots are closing in, Tina slowly kneel down besides K.C. while facing him. Tina felt a loss in hope again, similar to what had happened to that time when she lost her parents. Tina couldn't bear to lose another person close to her again. She wouldn't know what to do with herself if she did. And yet, this situation does not seem to provide any other alternative and time is running short. Soon, the Hyperion robots will come and they will gun down the pair without remorse. So, as the brink draws near, Tina has made a decision._

_"__I'm staying …" Tina said softly while placing her lips close to K.C.'s ear. Those words caused K.C. to let out streams of tears from his eyes and tighten his fists to a deathgrip, representing extreme sadness and frustration._

_"__You're gonna die along with me, you know that?" K.C. replied softly, whispering to Tina's ear._

_"__I don't care." Tina whispered before she gently wraps her arms around K.C. "If you gonna die, I'm gonna die with you as well. I'll follow you whenever you go, till the world gone boom boom. So please … let me stay by your side."_

_" __*Sniff* …Alright! …grrr…" K.C. cried as he tightly wraps his arms around Tina in return while also uncontrollably sobbing. "I'll also stay by you side as well … *sniff* …towards the edge of space … till the end of time … till the universe stops giving a f*ck and explodes … *sniff* … TO THE EXTREME!"_

_" __*sniff* K.C. cccccccccccc!" Tina cried loudly as she hugs K.C. affectionately._

_" __*sniff* Tinaaaaaaaaaaa!" K.C. cried equally loud as he hugs Tina affectionately._

_One of the loaders approaches the pair within firing range as it draws out its gun to aim at the pair._

_"__K.C. ccccccccccc!" Tina yelled._

_"__Tinaaaaaaaaaaaa!" K.C. yelled back._

_The loader takes aim and carefully adjusts the barrel of his gun so that it won't miss._

_"__K.C. cccccccccccccccccccccccc!" Tina yelled._

_"__Tinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" K.C. yelled back._

_The loader opened fire. But suddenly out of nowhere, something blocked the bullets' path. That something also seems to be returning fire with its own bullets as it seems to be protecting the pair with some kind of energy shield. That something also happens to be able to launch a missile that maneuvers to blow up the incoming loaders, drastically shifting the tide of the battle. That something also happens to be slowly healing K.C. and Tina with some sort of transfusion mechanism as well as dropping out some ammunition and grenades nearby. That something … is a Scorpio turret._

_"__That moment you two had was sweet and all …" A voice originated from the cave cliff above the Scorpio turret was heard by K.C. and Tina. The voice was calm and stern and seems to be from a man. "… but don't die on me just yet. There is still hope."_

_K.C. and Tina slowly opened their eyes to see the man whom the voice belongs to. It was a well-built man with dark skin and wearing what seems to be a gray military uniform, with a beret and assault rifle at hand and ammo pouches all over. K.C.'s and Tina's eyes widen with amazement as they were trying to figure out who their savior was. But I know for sure that you (the audience) already know who I'm talking about._

_It's Roland._

_As the Scorpio turret continues to gun down the wave of loaders, Roland slides down from the top of the cave cliff and approaches K.C. and Tina. He then warmly offers a hand for them to grab onto so they can get up on their feet. As K.C. and Tina got up, they couldn't help but feel dumbfounded for a few seconds while all of this is going on._

_"__Listen, I'd love to talk, but first we need to get out of here." Roland said assertively, as if he's an expertly trained soldier who knows how to keep his head cool under stressful situations. Stressful situations like having a bunch of robots trying to murder yo' ass. "My turret won't last much longer. Come on! Move!"_

_K.C. and Tina only nodded as the three ran as quickly as possible away from the wave of Hyperion robots. K.C. and Tina seem to be partially healed due to the aid station healing him somehow so he is able to move more quickly. After a while of running with possibly their lives on the line, the group finally escaped the cave and returned back to the camp that K.C. and Tina were living before. It was a close call, but they finally made it out alive. And they couldn't be happier._

_"__Oh my God, oh my God, OH MY GOD!" Tina yelped with uncontrollable joy. "We're alive! K.C.! We're alive!"_

_"__I know! We are giving Grim Reaper the finger! We're alive!" K.C. shouted with excitement. _

_K.C. and Tina hold hands as they both jump for joy at the fact of not dying at the hands of murderous robots. Roland sees them both being joyful and excited that they nearly escaped death because of him and couldn't help but crack a relieved smile. When K.C. and Tina finally calmed down from their excited cheers, they turn their gaze towards their savior Roland. K.C. approaches Roland and was about to say something._

_"__You, mister, … ARE FRICKIN' AWESOME AND EXTRAORDINARILY EXTREME!" K.C. praised loudly with two thumbs-up before proceeding to tackle Roland and give him a big and grateful hug by the waist. "THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! Thank you for saving Tina's life! For saving mine! For being awesome at doing it! That guided missile was just TOO EXTREME! THANK YOU!"_

_"__THANK YOU SO MUCH!" Tina added loudly as she also tackles Roland and gave him a big hug as well. "You are mah homie for life! My rainbow unicorn! My crumpets and tea! My knight in shining armor! Oh god, thank you!"_

_"__Uh … okay …" Roland said with a sweatdrop. He understands how they are extremely grateful. But, still, he didn't expect such wild behavior from these two kids. That said, it's interesting how these two kids ended up being in that situation to begin with, so there is much to talk about._

_It was a few hours before dawn, at which K.C., Tina, and Roland are all sitting together in a campfire inside the camp and sharing backstories. Sometimes they had a good laugh and sometimes they had a sobbing cry, but mostly, they bonded as friends almost overnight. While K.C. and Tina told Roland about their backstories, Roland told the pair about his adventures on Pandora. About hunting the vault a couple years back. About the misadventures with his fellow vault hunting companions. About his war … with Handsome Jack._

_"__So, this Handsome Jack guy! He sounds like a real asshole!" K.C. said loudly. "Is he even handsome?"_

_"__Well, I cannot tell you for sure." Roland replied. "All I know is he hides his face behind a mask, which also looks like a face. Seems to be the result of some kind of biowelding surgery. Regardless, he is ruthless and dangerous. Especially to the people on Pandora. That is why I'm going to stop him."_

_"__You doing a fine thing to the people of this planet. I salute you!" Tina praised as she performs a salute. "Also, you the real deal, mah nigga! Fo' shizzle! Gimme five!" _

_Tina offered a hand for Roland to high-five, to which Roland could only respond with a raised eyebrow._

_"__Uhh … is she alright?" Roland asked with concern._

_"__Oh, she's cool! She's just trying to be gangsta! Because gangstas are EXTREME!" K.C. replied loudly._

_"__Right. Listen, it's been nice knowing you two, but I got to get back to my team. They would most likely be looking for me and I don't want to worry them." Roland said as he got up._

_"__Whaaaaaaat? You ain't takin' us with ya?" Tina asked._

_"__Yeah! We're totally capable of handling ourselves, despite of what it may look like to you from back then!" K.C. added loudly._

_"__Yeah, we could like … take down Handsome Jack with you. We could make robots go boom boom and make people go bang bang. Also, we drink tea and eat crumpets! So you know we're badasses." Tina added._

_"__Listen, I appreciate it and I know why you are doing this. But this is not a game. This is war. People die in wars. It's not a situation in which I'm willing to put kids into." Roland explained._

_"__But we can totally handle ourselves! I've learned to how to disarm a bomb vest before I learn how to tie my shoes! Granted, I still don't know how to tie my shoes, but still!" K.C. persuaded loudly. "Also, Tina's been training with me for a couple of months now, and I can personally guarantee you she's as badass as I am! Perhaps even more!"_

_"__I am aware of your skills. That's not the point here. I am not putting you two at risk." Roland argued._

_"__But, Roland …" Tina whined._

_" __*Sigh* Listen, how about I take you two to Sanctuary first." Roland suggested. "It's a city that I run and maintain with the Crimson Raiders. I'll get you two settled down there, then we'll talk about letting you two fight. It's a brutal wasteland out here. It's better to live within protected walls."_

_"__Deal!" Both K.C. and Tina said with delight. _

_They obviously couldn't wait to go to Sanctuary and meet up with Roland's crew. Roland was glad to have two little rascals join his city. It could get a bit chaotic, but at least it won't be boring. However, suddenly the trio heard the sound of a truck approaching the camp's front entrance. The trio turned to see who it is. Who it is was a group of soldiers wearing Torgue-brand body armor and wielding Torgue-brand guns. Most importantly, among the group is … Brad._

_"__Well, if it isn't the prepubescent and incredibly annoying explosives expert." Brad said sarcastically. His eyes were showing circles under them, indicating that he probably didn't get enough sleep._

_"__Brad?! How the hell did you find me here?!" K.C. shouted as he backed away a little from Brad._

_"__Well, it wasn't easy, but good thing you too dumb to put out that campfire of yours. Now … come on, K.C. We're leaving." Brad said tiredly as he approaches K.C._

_"__F*ck no! I'm not going back! And you can't make me!" K.C. said loudly as he pulled out his rocket launcher and pointed it at the Torgue security team._

_Immediately, this situation has become somewhat of a standoff. The Torgue security team pointed their guns at K.C. and the group as Roland pointed his assault rifle at the Torgue security team while Tina went full-on b*tch crazy as she took out her dynamite, ready to blow up some asses._

_"__Woah, woah, hold on here. Calm down. Don't shoot." Brad said, trying to calm down the tension between the groups. _

_"__Are these the guys you talked about from before? The ones from Torgue?" Roland whispered to K.C. while maintaining a calm firing position._

_"__Yeah. That guy with the goatee. He's Brad." K.C. whispered back. "He is also kind of a douche. I mean, just look at his goatee."_

_"__Noted." Roland whispered back._

_"__K.C., kid, regardless of whether or not you want to come back, you are coming back. We're taking you back, okay? You're not gonna stop us. I don't want your dad breathing down my neck or Mister Torgue's neck because his son is missing in a wasteland hellhole, alright?" Brad persuaded. "Also, who are you two? You're trying to kidnap and imprison this kid or something?"_

_"__What?! No, you jerkbag! I am not being held prisoner! These are my friends!" K.C. yelled with outrage and he introduced the Torgue security team to his friends. "This here is Tina, and this is Roland!"_

_"__Yeah, well great. Nice knowing you two." Brad said with tired sarcasm. "Now if you excuse me, I'm taking this kid back to where he belongs."_

_"__I said I'm not leaving!" K.C. yelled before firing a rocket over the Torgue's security team as a warning shot. That warning shot blew up harmlessly at a nearby wall. "Tell my dad to go f*ck himself! He might have fed me and raised me and taught me explosives skills, but he's mean and strict and boring and got a MAJOR STICK UP HIS ASS! I'm not leaving!"_

_"__Listen, kid. Save your drama for when you meet your dad, okay?" Brad said tiredly. "I'm just a hired gun, man. I'm just doing my job."_

_"__The kid already said he's not leaving with you. Why don't you relay that message back to your boss?" Roland added intimidatingly, with his assault rifle pointed firmly at the Torgue security team._

_" __*Sigh* Hey, uh, mister … Roland … is that your name? Listen, excuse me for being blunt, but … what is your relationship with this kid? Are you his dad? Are you his relative? Also, how long have you two known each other?" Brad reasoned with Roland. "Besides, this little squirt is barely 10 years old! He can't make his own decisions. Sure he knows a lot about explosives but … c'mon, that is hardly relevant here. So, what I'm trying to say is … we are taking a kid back to his father, from a dangerous and inhospitable place to a much safer place, and you have absolutely no right to stop us."_

_Roland slowly put down his assault rifle as he begins to understand reason. It's true that Pandora is dangerous and inhospitable. Not even a regular adult should even be here, let alone a child, regardless of unusually heightened expertise. Roland thought that it might be best for K.C. to follow the security team back to his father as well._

_"__You're right. I have no authority over this child, so I have no right to intervene." Roland said, which shocked both K.C. and Tina._

_"__Roland?!" K.C. said with outrage._

_"__I'm sorry, but he does have a point. It would be irresponsible for me to keep you here. I know how it is on Pandora. I'm doing this for your own good, K.C." Roland convinced._

_"__GRRRR! Not you too! I thought you're my friend!" K.C. yelled angrily at Roland before turning his gaze back at the security team. K.C. got so angry that he simply threw his rocket launcher to the ground._

_"__Listen, tell my dad this! I'm not leaving this place! I'm not leaving Tina behind! I don't care if I get shot or blown up or burned to a crisp or get electrocuted or get dissolved in acid or chopped up into little bits of pieces and eaten by cannibals! I'M NOT LEAVING!" K.C. stated loudly. It emotionally moved Tina a little that she went from defensively angry to kind of sad. Tina was reminded of that time not so long ago when K.C. barely escaped from imminent death. It was pure luck that they got out of that situation. Luck that is hard to come by. If K.C. were to put himself in danger again, Tina wouldn't be able to bear the emotional pain. Given the circumstances, maybe it is best for K.C. to go back to his dad. "I don't care if I never see my dad again, because I never WANT to see him again! Tell him that-"_

_Before K.C. could finish his angry rant, he is immediately turned around by Tina grabbing to his shoulders. Tina then stares K.C. straight into his dumbfounded eyes and proceed to … headbutt K.C. hard into the head. It was a headbutt with so much force, you could barely hear the crack of the skull. Needless to say, it was painful._

_"__Owowowowow… Tina! What are you-?!" K.C. said loudly before being interrupted._

_*SMOOCH*_

_Tina kissed K.C. straight into the lips. It was rather passionate, as Tina grab hold onto K.C.'s body tightly and repeatedly brush K.C.'s back in an affectionate way, to which K.C. reacted by mostly doing the same. The kiss was so intense and so passionate that it might be French. K.C. was amazed at how EXTREMELY amazing the kiss was. Sure, during the past couple of months, K.C. and Tina were starting to become more intimate, but it's mostly just holding hands and sleeping on each other's shoulders. Even K.C. has a shy side. But now, it's like he went to heaven, for there is no possible way he could attain such euphoria otherwise. K.C.'s and Tina's first kiss … together. Nevertheless, the kiss has lasted well over a minute as Roland, Brad, and the rest of the security team widen their eyes in surprise while at the same time couldn't help but feel emotionally touched as well. Finally, Tina released her hold from K.C. as K.C. was still trying to figure out what to say from all this._

_"__Tina … I … uh …" K.C. is clearly speechless._

_"__Shh …" Tina said softly as she displayed a warm smile for K.C. "K.C., you don't need to say anything. Just listen to me … go back to your dad."_

_K.C.'s expression went from speechless to a mixture of surprise and shock in an instant, for he could hardly believe what she is saying._

_"__What?! Tina …" K.C. said loudly, seemingly confused._

_"__Shh, just listen. This place … Pandora … it's a place with fudge in its core. And I don't mean the good kind, if you know what I'm sayin'." Tina said softly. "What I'm sayin' is, you're not safe here. You nearly died a moment ago from those Hyperion rust buckets. I don't want to lose you again, dawg. Also …"_

_Tina then uses her pair of small hands to gently grab onto K.C.'s hands and hold it close to her chest._

_"__I already lost both of my parents, but you still got your dad." Tina continued with a soft voice. "Sure he might be strict, but he is still your dad. Your family. Do not try to break up you relationship with him because of me. You need to go back there and make him understand you. Cherish your relationship with you dad. Others might not have the same fortune as you do."_

_K.C. listened to it and practically dropped down in tears afterwards. Never had he thought Tina to be so understanding and so mature towards anything, and now she is willing to part ways with K.C. just so he can reconcile with his father._

_"__*Sniff* … *cries*…Tina …" K.C. sobbed as he hugs Tina closely. "Tina … come with me … come with me to Hephaestus … I'll introduce you to my dad … I can convince him to let you stay with me …"_

_"__Pfft, naw. Can't do that, son." Tina said playfully while gently pushing K.C. away._

_" __*Sniff* … why not?" K.C. said, barely holding back his tears._

_"__This planet's gone to hell, nah mean? Handsome Jack's gonna go full tyrant up on our asses. I gotta stay here and help. Gonna make some explosives and stick 'em to Hyperion." Tina said._

_"__Tina, you really don't need to-" Roland said before being cut off._

_"__Roland, homie, please don't 'suade me otherwise. Handsome Jack is the boss of Hyperion, and Hyperion killed my parents. So, in other words, Handsome Jack is responsible for my parents' death." Tina said as she looked Roland in the eye with determination. "I need to do this. I have to do this."_

_Roland could see a great amount of will in Tina's eyes. Even soldiers who are worth their salt trembles under the name of Handsome Jack, yet Tina is determined to take on that very same man head-on, knowing the potential dangers. Roland is hesitant, thinking that Tina will most likely be in great danger if he lets her join the fight with Handsome Jack. Then again, if he tries to stop her, she'll only tries to take on Handsome Jack without him anyway. If Tina is fighting by his side, at least he'd be able to keep her in check._

_" __*Sigh* alright. You get to join the Crimson Raiders and help out in the fight with Handsome Jack. But only under my command and with my protection and supervision. Don't put yourself on any more danger than you need to and don't take unnecessary risks. Got it?" Roland stated explicitly._

_"__Aye, sir!" Tina said with crisp clearness as she performed a salute, like that of a soldier._

_" __*Chuckles* alright, soldier." Roland said as he shakes Tina's hand. "Consider yourself an official member of the Crimson Raiders."_

_"__Tina …" K.C. said with a low voice as he stands idly while staring at Tina._

_Tina stares back and could only display a warm but hurtful smile, knowing that she will soon part with her main squeeze. Tina gently placed her hand onto K.C. cheek while K.C. does the same to Tina. Then, Tina and K.C. share one final hug before they depart._

_"__I'm gonna miss you so much, huggerbutt." Tina said softly in K.C.'s ear._

_"__I'm gonna miss you too. TO THE EXTREME!" K.C. replied to Tina's ear before gently pushing Tina away to point incriminatingly at Roland. "And YOU! Roland! I'm leaving Tina in your hands! If ANYTHING bad happens to her, I'll be the first one to kick your ass so hard, your grandchildren will feel it! Got it?!"_

_"__That is awfully specific." Roland said with a raised eyebrow before displaying a confident smile. "You have my word, K.C. Nothing bad will happen to Tina as long as I'm alive."_

_And so, all's well ends well. K.C. is finally willing to follow Brad and the Torgue security team back to the Torgue base and eventually back to Hephaestus, where he will meet his father again. Tina and Roland watch with slight sadness as they see the truck that K.C. is in drive off in the horizon under the dawning sunlight. As Tina and Roland waved goodbye to K.C. with streams of tears on their eyes, K.C. waved back while reacting the same._

_"__Tina! Goodbye, Tina!" K.C. yelled to Tina from an ever-increasing distance as the truck drove away. "I promise I'll come back as soon as possible, Tina! I'll definitely be back to see you, Tina! I'll be back, Tina! TINA!"_

_Eventually, K.C. couldn't be seen or heard as he fades away into the horizon. After a couple minutes of reminiscence, Tina and Roland prepare themselves to travel to Sanctuary where Tina will begin a new life with new friends. They first took a fast-travel to Sanctuary and later proceed towards the Crimson Raiders HQ._

_"__So, mah homie. Who are the friends that are gonna help out in the fight? You mention some of your fellow vault hunter pals who were all that and stuff?" Tina said with anticipation as she and Roland walk towards the Crimson Raiders HQ._

_" __*Chuckes* Yeah, you'll meet them soon enough. There are a lot of people in the Crimson Raiders, but I trust these three people the most." Roland explained. "One of them is a siren. You know, one of those rare women scattered across the galaxy with glowing tattoos and unusual powers. Another one is a hunter. One of the best sharpshooters that I've ever met. Besides being handy with a sniper rifle, he also has a pet bird that helps him out in fights. Then there is another one who … really like to punch stuff … and does it pretty well."_

_"__Ooh, sounds interesting, can't wait to meet them." Tina said with glee as both of them walked to the top floor to meet the other three vault hunters._


	29. A Soldier's Camaraderie

Chapter 29: A Soldier's Camaraderie

Back in Moxxi's bar of the present day, K.C. and Tina ended their story as they continue to hug and cry out the feels that the story contains (Because the feels, man. The feels.)

"K.C. cccccccccc …" Tina said as she cried deeply while hugging K.C.

"Tinaaaaaaaa …" K.C. replied as he cried deeply as well while hugging Tina.

"I missed you so much. *Sniff*…" Tina said as both she and K.C. calmed down and takes a seat on the floor. "I heard from Mister Torgue of how yo' dad got so mad that he pretty much locks you up in a bomb-shelter prison or somethin' so he made sure that you never had a chance to escape and come back to me."

"Wow. Your dad is that pissed at you for disobeying him like that?" Lilith questioned.

"Pfft, saying that it's a bomb-shelter prison is an EXTREME understatement!" K.C. replied loudly. "It's basically a fortress that could contain the energy of a supernova! Multiple layers of titanium walls and tons of super sophisticated explosive traps! I didn't even have the chance to reason with him before he basically grounded me in the most EXTREME way possible! Sure, he made sure I got fed properly and stay healthy and all, but it was still torture! I mean, HE MADE ME EAT VEGETABLES, WHICH ARE THE ABOMINATION OF THE WORLD DUE TO ITS LACK OF SAVORINESS!"

"Well, contrary to popular belief, vegetables could be savory as well. Sometimes, you'd just have to ferment or age them properly. I'll let you try one of my savory vegan dishes sometime." Monty said with friendliness.

"AHH! Get your chlorophyll-photosynthetic monstrosities out of my mouth! The only stuff going inside my stomach through my mouth and out my puckered butthole is explosive chemicals and meat! The digestive system of a TRUE MAN!" K.C. bragged loudly. "Anyway, it took me a while to figure out a way out of that fortress my dad made, but I still need to find some way to get back to Pandora, only this time I won't have my dad stopping me! The only way is through the Torgue corporation!"

"Heh, let me guess. You went to the Torgue corporation and annoy the hell out of the CEO's so that they allow you to join the corporate vault hunt just so you could shut up about it." Eugene said smugly.

"F*ck no! That is only one of the things I did! Gotta say, besides my god-dad Mister Torgue, all of the people in charge of that corporation are old stinky douchebag geezers! No, what I instead tried to do is to threaten them … BY BUILDING OVER 100 MORTARS AND AIMING AT THEM RIGHT INTO THE TORGUE HQ AND THREATEN TO DEMOLISH IT TO SMITHEREENS IF THEY DO NOT LET ME GO TO PANDORA TO SEE MY CHERISHED TINA!"

"Yes, we were reminded of your extraordinary tenacity for the bold and extravagant. Which reminds me, about that interview room that you just destroyed during our interview. You still haven't paid for the damages-" Xiao Lan said with a polite smile.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" K.C. said loudly but with a sweat-drop of fear, knowing that he has something he does not want to admit.

" *Sigh* Forget it, Ms. Chen. We'll just have the corporate board worry about that. This is a group of some of the most dangerous people corporations can afford. You do not want to piss them off." Patrick said sternly, which caused Xiao Lan to pout to represent her light dissatisfaction.

"So there you have it. The story of how me and my future-hubby met." Tina said cutely before she gently grab onto K.C.'s cheeks with both her hands and wiggle her nose onto K.C's nose. "Who's my future-explosively-extreme-awesome hubby? Yes you are. Yes you are~"

"Oh geez. Get a room you two." Gaige said as she reacted with a mixture of adoration and disgust. "Seriously, the overloading sweetness between you two is making me puke."

"You jelly, my girl?" Tina said slyly as she casually slings her arm around K.C.'s shoulder.

"What? NO! Of course not. Pfft, I'm still too young for that kinda thing." Gaige said embarrassingly.

"You mad, girl?" Tina said with a great amount of ghetto attitude.

"No. I already said I'm not." Gaige replied.

"You … menstrual?" Tina said with a mischievous smile.

"Tina! Inappropriate! Seriously, where did you learn all this stuff?" Gaige said with slight outrage, which only made Tina to giggle and cackle like the gleeful and maniacal little girl that she is. (Good job, Tina. You just invented a new meme. And it just so happens to also be ironically sexist …)

Just as Tina and Gaige were having a mini-conversation, Lilith got up from her seat and walk slowly towards K.C. just so she could get a better look at the explosive teenager from head to toe. As she glances, she becomes more and more trusting towards the kid, albeit still weird out by his explosive antics.

"So, you're the one who made Tina … Tina. Gotta say, really nice to actually meet you in person." Lilith said with a friendly smile as she offers a handshake to K.C. "Hope we can cooperate smoothly during this vault hunt."

"Looking forward to working with you too, siren badass!" K.C. replied loudly with a firm and enthusiastic handshake. "I've read about sirens in various books and stuff I've come across! You tattoo ladies with awesome powers are simply EXTREME! I've look forward all my life just to see one in person! Gotta say, I'm thrilled to be working alongside you!"

"Wow, uh, thanks for the compliment." Lilith said while flattered.

"I also read some interesting factoids about sirens that I need to confirm!" K.C. said loudly.

"Oh really? Like what?" Lilith asked innocently.

"Is it true that sirens glow blue when they orgasm?!" K.C. said loudly, without a sense of embarrassment at all.

After hearing the question, Lilith's friendly smile slowly and gradually transformed to a cool but angry frown. Others around who heard that either facepalmed or slowly shake their heads in response to K.C.'s social idiocy. The suddenly-

*WHAM*

Lilith punched K.C. in the top of the head so hard that it left a slapstick bump on his head and causing him to comically whimper in pain.

"Owowowowowow *sob* …" K.C. whimpered as he grabbed his head in response to the pain.

"Ahh, K.C. …" Tina said with mild concern towards K.C.

"Ask anything like that again and there more where that came from." Lilith said with cool but intimidating voice.

" … yeah, that got me curious as well. Maya, do sirens-" Gaige asked with slight curiosity.

"Don't ask!" Maya interrupted Gaige abruptly.

" *Sigh* Anyway, now that we listened to K.C.'s story, who's next?" Lilith asked as she scanned the room for possible candidates of continuing the backstory-telling before pointing at Eugene. "You, the black guy from Dahl with the red sunglasses. Please, tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Well, it will be my pleasure." Eugene said smugly.

"Eugene, I swear to God, if you say even one word-" Axton warned with a low angry tone as he points an incriminating finger at Eugene.

"If I say one word, what are you gonna do, soldier boy? You gonna shoot me? Or you just gonna let your lady friend do all the work?" Eugene said smugly, clearly try to make Axton angrier than he already is.

Axton seems to be at the climax of his anger as he slowly got up from his chair and glares right into Eugene's eyes. Eugene's reaction maintains the smug calmness while Axton's expression maintains restrained anger.

"I tell you again like I tell you a million times. DO NOT insult my turret." Axton said intimidatingly.

"And I'm gonna respond with the same answer to your warning: You are getting too attached." Eugene said smugly, as if unfazed by Axton's intimidation towards him. "Geez, you treat your turret with more love than you do with your wife. No wonder Sarah left you."

That was the last straw. Axton could probably brush off what Eugene said to his turret, but not even his long-time friend-enemy could get away with insulting his relationship between him and his ex-wife. Axton reacted by proceeding to take his turret out and threw it to the ceiling inside Moxxi's bar, allowing the Mag-Lock mechanism to make it stick there. Everyone else suddenly become frightened, seeing as how this situation had escalated so quickly. Despite of this, Eugene kept his cool.

"Heh, Dahl's standard-issue Sabre-turret with Mag-Lock. Rudimentary. Let me show you what you've been missing since you left Dahl." Eugene said smugly as he took out his own SDU, containing the Mason mini-tank. The tank flashed into life, somewhat startling some people around it, especially Axton.

"You got yourself a mini-tank?!" Axton said with mild surprise as he analyzes the seemingly higher grade of technology shown before him. "This model of minigun could easily run at 6,000 rpm. And those shields at the sides. Those are made to dispense shield boosters at regular intervals0. And those rocket ports … if I'm not mistaken, this is derived from the Mason model."

"You are correct. This bad-boy is officially my war buddy for this corporate vault hunt." Eugene said with pride, knowing Axton is just barely holding himself from drooling all over this new piece of Dahl tech.

"How do you even get your hands on it? I thought it was still in the prototype stage when I last saw it, and R&amp;D said they won't have it as standard issue until a couple more years." Axton said with amazement.

"Well, the corporate vault hunt kinda given Dahl some motivation into dumping more resources into the project, thereby speeding up its development and work out most of the kinks." Eugene said smugly as he placed a hand onto the mini tank. "The best-of-the-best soldier gotta have the best-of-the-best gear, know what I'm sayin'? That said, it's not perfect. I still needed more time testing it through and through with different combat environment to get to know this baby better. When it comes to familiarity, I'll rather have the same old Sabre turret that you have. But Dahl thinks this new piece of hardware brings more 'flare', and I'm a quick learner, so all-in-all, it was a smart move."

"Well, uh, like you said. Sometimes, familiarity trumps cutting-edge tech. I think my Sabre can totally take on your Mason." Axton said with slight twitch on his shoulders as he crossed his arms, indicating he doesn't have much confidence in his words.

"Yeah right, Ax. I know that look on you like I know the back of my hand. You are totally jealous of my tank." Eugene said smugly, which Axton reacted by rolling his eyes.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute." Gaige interrupted the two Dahl commandos. "How can you two have a digistruct companion battle … without me?! COME ON OUT, DEATHTRAP!"

Immediately, as Gaige lift her robotic left arm, Deathtrap sprung into life, appearing as the intimidating mechanical floating torso of a companion to the hyperactive genius redhead.

"Damn girl. Didn't think you got it in you to build this sort of death machine." Eugene said smugly with slight amazement as he gazed at Gaige's Deathtrap. "It's a bit crude, but from what I can tell, it could still kick some serious ass."

"Why, thank you~. Glad to know at least some of us appreciate fine engineering craftsmanship, unlike some others I know." Gaige said as she elbowed Axton, indicating that during the time the entire group was together, Axton wasn't as impressed towards Gaige's invention as she had hoped he would be.

"Well, just be careful not to be her worst enemy. Otherwise, this third-place science fair project will like … claw you to death … with no warning whatsoever." Axton said with hinted insult which made Gaige a little bit pissed off and Eugene with a friendly chuckle.

"Hey, hey, HEY! All this showing-off is really making my blood pump! TO THE EXTREME! IT'S MORTAR TIME!" K.C. said loudly before loudly clapping his hands and slamming them onto the ground, thereby digistructing six of his infamous 'MORTAR TIME' mortars.

"Huh … those are some big guns you have." Axton said with mild admiration towards K.C.' seemingly high-tech mortars made exclusively from Torgue.

"Thanks … FOR ADMIRING MY P3N1$!" K.C. said loudly with no embarrassment at all.

"What? I wasn't-" Axton said, with reasonable amount of embarrassment.

"Axton, I didn't know you were into that …" Eugene said with mocking smug.

"No, Eugene … shut up!" Axton said, clearly misunderstood but they keep riding onto him anyway.

"Hmm, Axton's into that, eh? Tina, you better be careful about your man." Gaige said slyly, intending to make the most of this joke.

"I'm not gonna let you touch mah K.C.! I'll scratch you! Like a pussy cat! *RAOWW!*" Tina said with defensiveness (jokingly, of course) as she cling onto K.C.'s arms like a koala bear.

" *Sigh* I give up …" Axton said submissively as he facepalmed and sat back onto his chair.

"Hey, ya skaglickers! This digistruct showdown ain't done yet! Check out mah three merry midgets!" Mama Jaws added to the fray as she also pulls out her SDU to summon his three little midgets: Shottie, Buzz-Buzz, and Kaboom. As soon as they show up, they couldn't stop screaming their signature Pandoran midget scream, because … you know … they're midgets … don't they all do that?

" Que cono?! (What the fuck?) Didn't know you like hiding three little guys under your belt." Salvador said with slight mock, which prompt the three midgets to pile on Salvador and proceed to jerk off*** I mean, er, repeatedly and playfully hammer their little fists onto Salvador.

"AHH! GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!" Salvador yelled for help as the little guy struggles to survive from three little guys piling up on him. Mama Jaws could only laugh as the three little midgets continue to annoy Salvador.

"Ahahahahahehehehehahaha … looks like they like you. Seems 'propriate given little guys tend to like other little guys. Don't make fun of their master though, which of course is yours truly, or they will most certainly bite yo' bean-sized balls off!" Mama Jaws said with attitude before signaling the three midgets to stop harassing Salvador. Even though Salvador got out of those little triplets of horror, he is still a bit grumpy by it.

"Holy cow, are those real biologically living midgets coming out of your SDU?" Gaige said with amazement as she looked at the three energetic midgets with intrigue. "Biological digistruct … it's amazing … I didn't even think it's possible."

"Wait, what's so special about biological digistruct? I thought our fast-travel system can deconstruct and reconstruct biological organisms perfectly." Lilith said with curiosity.

"Talk about riding the bus every day and not knowing how the bus works. The fast-travel system is one thing. Being able to trap and sustain biological material within digistruct storage is a whole different matter." Axton explained.

"Yeah, I read about it from the books. Apparently, a lot of things are needed for sustainable biological digistruct that are not required in fast-travel." Maya added. "For long-term sustainable digistruct storage of biological matter, you need to keep the subject alive while inside, which means you need a steady supply of breathable air, optimal air pressure, food intake, temperature regulation, … the list of issues could go on. In fact, not even regular items could survive in the SDU for long unless they are specifically made to handle the environment inside the SDU. Things like our guns, ammo, grenades, vehicles … they all had to be made with specific SDU-compatible criteria in order to fit being stored in an SDU. With that said, usually the critieria isn't that stringent if you're talking about inorganic matter that makes up robots or turrets. But living organisms are simply a different matter."

"Pfft, well, I wouldn't sum it up like that fancy-pancy talk, but basically, yeah, I totally made this by myself and I'm usin' it to store little people so they could serve me in a lot of stuff that I need done." Mama Jaws said confidently. "Mostly, fightin' and eatin' people. Occasionally, reaching their little hands inside mah junk so that they could take out somethin' that I might have stuck inside while I was drunk."

"Uh … gross … anyway, I would LOVE to know how your little extraordinary miracle-working device works. This could be HUGE …" Gaige said as she practically drools while staring at Mama Jaws special SDU with gleaming eyes.

"Nuh uh! I ain't letting you touch my midge-unit. I already let those hoity-toity corporate assholes touch it and I swear to the deepest skaghole on this planet of Pandora that if I ever let anyone else touch it again, I'll chew their hands off." Mama Jaws said defensively as she moved the special SDU away from Gaige's gaze.

"What? You let those old corporate grumps take a look at it and not us? But we're your pals on this corporate vault hunt. We should totally trust each other and share any info we had that could give us an edge." Gaige said with plea as she tries her hardest attempt to puppy-eye Mama Jaws, to which Mama Jaws seem unaffected.

"Oh, Miss Gaige. You shouldn't waste your breath. As we interviewed the mother of bandits to figure out her behavior, she seems to be quite stubborn and would very unlikely be willing to part her special item with anybody, unless, of course, she is sufficiently incentivized. What a beautiful world we live in in which money is the true blood in the veins of our society." Xiao Lan said with mocking innocent smile, clearly being satirical.

"Speaking of digistruct summons, don't we have one more corporate vault hunter who happens to have a companion of his own?" Patrick said sternly as he eyed at Oleg, indicating his mechanical animal. "Mr. Oleg, would you care to demonstrate?"

Oleg shrugged as he seems to be okay with showing his own digistruct companion. With his giant left hand, he released the large metal claw mechanism, which then summons the BEAR into existence. The BEAR briefly stand tall on two hind feet and letting out a loud and magnificient roar before sitting tamely and obediently next to its master. Oleg then gently pats the BEAR on the head, which the BEAR responded with affection, which is strangely organic coming from a machine.

"Holy GUACOMOLE! It's … it's a bear! An actual mechanical bear! And … it looks so real. So intricately made. It looks as if it had the behavior of an actual animal." Gaige said excitedly with her shiny eyes of wonder. "Man, you gotta let me take this thing apart. I'm just dying to see how this thing work! I promise I put it back together when I'm done and I won't break or misplace anything. I swear. Please …"

It's like the BEAR knows what Gaige's intent was, as it immediately growls intimidatingly towards Gaige once she tries to convince Oleg to let her take apart the BEAR. Then, the BEAR let out a snapping bite, nearly missing Gaige as she shriek and flinch back in mild fright. Oleg remained in a cool and calm demeanor (which is probably the result of him being too drunk).

"I wouldn't recommend you approaching my companion, little girl." Oleg said in a tired voice. "The BEAR does not like anyone but me tamper with it and will act very aggressive when it's in danger."

"Aww, so many new tech and I don't get to take apart any of it …" Gaige said disappointingly.

"Don't worry about it, kid." Axton said encouragingly while patting Gaige in the back. "Maybe, someday, I'll finally let you take apart my turret."

" *Gasp* Really?!" Gaige said with sudden delight.

"Yeah … well … over my dead body … but still." Axton said jokingly.

"Pfft … ass" Gaige said with grumpy disappointment.

"Heh, reminds me back in the day when you and I first joined Dahl. I've known you for 10 years, and yet you have never changed." Eugene said smugly as he crossed his arms in a relaxed manner.

"Oh really? Please continue your story. We would all like to know more." Lilith said intriguingly.

"Well, I'll much rather have our fellow Dahl commando do the introduction first. He seems to have something to say that is different from mine and I certainly don't want to get in the way." Eugene said smugly as he offers Axton to start their backstory out of politeness.

" *Sigh*…" Axton sighed as he has both hands covering his face while he tries to recollect his long-term memories. Then, he faced the crowd as he began the story. "Like Eugene said, it all began 10 years ago, when we were first joining Dahl as privates. In terms of skills, we could say that we pretty much trump everybody else. In terms of attitude, however, we were the black sheep. While we don't get along with the other members of our battalion, we get along with each other quite well and that's good enough for the both of us. Eugene's usually the more competitive one, wanting to be the best-of-the-best, and always trying to break records and acing tests like no one else. Me … I'm just happy to stay alive and occasionally helping out others who might need a little leg-up in a hellish situation known as war. So we have different ideals and we signed up to be soldiers for different reasons. But we pretty much get along just fine. And it all began on that very day, 10 years ago …"

* * *

_On the planet of Themis, our two familiar young soldiers-in-training were doing a pretty good in the training part. Out in the open field where the Dahl military base was set-up, it was at the crack of dawn when the battalion of privates was doing their morning jog. Everyone was march-running in an orderly fashion, followed by the drill sergeant leading them in front and shouting standard gung-ho encouragement typically heard at a standard boot camp. However, two soldiers were so particularly enthusiastic that they actually ran pass the drill sergeant and boldly sprint forward. These two soldiers are none other than Axton and Eugene._

_"__Soldiers!" the drill sergeant yelled at the two deviant soldiers. "What in God's name are you doing?! Get back in line!"_

_"__No can do, sir. These guys are running like snails. I'll much rather run at my own pace." Eugene said smugly as he turns his head to look at the enraged drill sergeant while running ahead._

_"__Cocky little bastard. Let's see if you can catch up with me. I'll definitely beat you to the finish line." Axton said to Eugene as a way of challenging him._

_"__Heh, we'll see about that. Prepare to eat my dust." Eugene said smugly to Axton while displaying a smile best described as that of someone respectfully recognizing another as an equal._

_"__Both of you! Get back in line NOW! Or I'll …" the drill sergeant said infuriatingly._

_"__Or you'll what? Give us more laps to run? Fine by me. We're already doing it and be more than happy to do more. You can never get enough of physical training. Otherwise, you might as well not belong here anyway." Eugene replied smugly at the drill sergeant before he sprints ahead._

_"__Oh no you don't!" Axton said as he followed Eugene with his own sprint._

_Both Eugene and Axton are running like competitive-racing stallions, each trying to match the speed and endurance of the other and both making the rest of the battalion look like turtles by comparison, which enraged the drill sergeant even further._

_"__Hey, the rest of you! Why are you not running as fast as they are!" the drill sergeant yelled at the group of soldiers behind him. "Keep up with their pace! Run faster! Come on!"_

_Once they are done with the running, it's time with other physical exercises such as pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, and the obstacle course. For a typical soldier, it's practically hellish and unforgiving. For Axton and Eugene, it's a cakewalk. While everyone else was panting and sweating in exhaustion, both Axton and Eugene are still able to stand and seemingly want more. As both Axton and Eugene share an arm-wrestle handshake to demonstrate their competitive camaraderie towards each other, they were being meticulously observed by Lieutenant Sarah. Even though Sarah seemingly observes the two prodigal soldiers with indifference, deep in her mind, she is slightly impressed by their performance and wouldn't mind if they were fast-track into a higher military ranking as far as they can handle the pressure and responsibilities. As the day goes by and the sun is starting to set, the soldiers were all going back to the barracks to rest while the drill sergeant went to Lieutenant Sarah's office to deliver his reports on the soldiers' performance. The drill sergeant marches with utmost discipline and strictness, typical of military personnel, as he enters the office._

_"__Lieutenant." the drill sergeant said with firm politeness as he gives Lieutenant Sarah a salute. "Here is the report on the training of the soldiers for today. Please read it thoroughly."_

_"__Thank you, Sergeant." Lieutenant Sarah said with coolness as she sits calmly at the chair of her office and grabbed the report. _

_She then took a couple of minutes to read through it while the drill sergeant stands ever so firm and straight and not moving an inch. After a while, Lieutenant Sarah puts down the report and converse with the drill sergeant._

_"__Interesting. Your report states that the overall performance of the soldiers is at an acceptable level. However, you found two soldiers in particular to be deviant and undisciplined, therefore making them unsuitable as soldiers." Lieutenant Sarah said calmly while resting her chin onto her folded hands. "While I find your complaints legitimate, I respectfully disagree with your assessment."_

_"__What?" the drill sergeant blurted out with shock as he heard the lieutenant implying her positive impression onto the two soldiers. "With all due respect, Lieutenant, these two privates, Axton and Eugene, they consistently disobeyed my direct orders, thereby disrespecting the rules of the military."_

_"__They have demonstrated a capability of surpassing their peers in terms of physical performance." Lieutenant Sarah said calmly._

_"__Being physically superior does not excuse them to such behavior! Being a solider is more than physical prowess. Being a soldier is more than the skills of handling a weapon or taking out your opponent in the quickest and most efficient way possible." the drill sergeant said sternly. "Being a solider means you have work as a team. It means that you have to think and react quickly and logically under life-and-death situations. Being a soldier means that you move and take action accordingly with the team and to your superior authority who gives you strict and unambiguous orders instead to doing things your own way. These two … they are loose cannons. They are reckless and egotistical and do not have the team mentality needed for being a good soldier. The way they behave will eventually get themselves killed, or maybe even the entire team killed. I cannot allow that."_

_"__I understand what it takes to be a soldier, sergeant, and I understand your concern." Lieutenant Sarah said calmly while demonstrating cold and calculating reason unhindered by emotion. "However, I have become Lieutenant for quite a long time. I have encountered soldiers of many types and I know that your method of disciplining them will not work. Besides, their ability to challenge authority and move away from conventional thinking … it could be an asset."_

_"__It's a weakness and a flaw, Lieutenant." the drill sergeant said with pressing concern._

_"__Not necessarily. Like you said, being a soldier is not just about physical prowess. However, there are different types of soldiers that do different jobs and have different attitudes towards war and therefore different ideals. With the right amount of attitude adjustment, even those two can become great soldiers." Lieutenant Sarah said calmly before she stand up and gently rub her chin, indicating deep thought. "Here's a suggestion, why don't you hand them over to me. I think they might be fit for the Commando training."_

_"__The Commando training?!" the drill sergeant said with shock as he couldn't possibly believe what she was saying. "With all due respect, Lieutenant, the Dahl commandos are one of Dahl's most elite squads. The requirements of getting into it require the most rigorous and versatile training to create the best soldiers possible. Besides that, they will also be provided with some of the best military gear Dahl can produce. I therefore highly suggest that you reconsider, Lieutenant."_

_"__I know what I'm doing." Lieutenant Sarah replied calmly. "I do not suggest that we immediately turn them into commandos. They will train under my supervision and I will take full responsibility if anything goes wrong. I'll even resign as Lieutenant if those two happen to screw up anything. Do you have any objections now, Sergeant?"_

_"__Lieutenant … I …" the drill sergeant was basically speechless as he is completely baffled by Lieutenant Sarah's confidence in those two's potential._

_"__Sergeant, despite of common belief, respect is not a given by simple authority. It should be earned." Lieutenant Sarah said as she walks towards the drill sergeant and gives him a pat on the shoulder. "You have failed to earn those two's respect and that result in them being defiant. I don't blame you for that, but please allow me to try earning their respect instead."_

_With that said, she exits the office while leaving the drill sergeant speechless yet again. Even though the drill sergeant sometimes disagrees with the Lieutenant's decisions, he had no question in her ability to command and the wisdom in her words. Of all the people with high military ranking, the drill sergeant is most certain that Sarah rightfully earned hers. As Lieutenant Sarah exits the office to head towards the barracks, Axton and Eugene were at the eatery near the barracks having their dinner and having a friendly chat. There are other soldiers in the eatery as well, but they generally don't even want to hang around near the infamous "cocky duo" of the battalion._

_"__Heh, 107 push-ups in 2 minutes." Eugene said smugly while patting Axton on the shoulder. "Looks like I beat you again today, huh?"_

_"__Only by about three push-ups. I'll definitely beat your record someday." Axton said with his own brand of cocky attitude._

_"__Yeah … when we are both old and senile and couldn't even lift a fork." Eugene said smugly as he took out his signature comb to comb his hair._

_"__Why do you even keep your hair so neat anyway? I just don't get it." Axton asked intriguingly. "Whenever you're not training, you always take that and comb your hair like you're about to go to a ball or something."_

_"__Well, when you're going to be the best-of-the-best, you gotta look just as good as well, right?" Eugene said smugly as he continues to comb his hair. "Appearances do matter."_

_"__Pfft, whatever, you're weird. So … what's your story?" Axton said._

_"__Why don't you tell me yours first, hot shot?" Eugene said smugly as he puts away his comb._

_"__Fair enough. I was born and raised in Hieronymous. My old-man wanted me to be a military man like him, so I joined the Hieronymous Global Army for around 3 years. It was horrible, but not in the sense that you think. The training and the danger, that I can handle, but there is just so many layers of bureaucratic bullsh*t within a government army that I just give up trying to fight for them." Axton said._

_"__Bureaucratic bullsh*t, huh? How so?" Eugene asked._

_"__There was this one time where I was stationed at an outpost in a country with constant political turmoil. We're talking about IEDs just lying on the sidewalk everywhere." Axton said with gradual shift in tone towards sentimental. "There are us, the soldiers who claim to 'bring peace'. There are the terrorists who, you know, want to terrorize people for their own political agendas. And then there are the civilians, who only want to live their live in peace and didn't ask for any of this. There was this one time, where a bomb went off and there were reports of a little girl fatally injured at the vicinity because of it. I suggest to my superiors to rescue that girl, but he said that it was not our call. In the end, that little girl … she didn't make it. He was so willing to follow protocol that he refuses to rescue that little girl, thinking that it's not really our problem and that we shouldn't interfere."_

_"__Damn, that is harsh and depressing. You must have been real pissed, huh?" Eugene said with intrigue._

_"__I was furious. After he said those words, I punched him in the face so hard that it made his nose bleed. The next day, I was dishonorably discharged, but I would have quit that place anyway. Good riddance." Axton said with mild anger._

_"__I'd imagine that you old-man wasn't that impressed with your decision." Eugene said._

_"__He was probably senile by the time I quit the Global Army. Though, he never said anything to acknowledge that I did the right thing or anything. He said that when he was in the army, he had to follow orders as well, regardless of its morality, and he just had to deal with it. He then said that I was impulsive and not thinking of the big picture." Axton said with grit. "Well, I then told him to f*ck off as well. And so, here I am at Dahl's military unit."_

_"__Oh, so you don't think that Dahl has the same brand of bureaucratic bullsh*t as well?" Eugene said smugly._

_"__I don't know. I'm not really holding my breath in that regard. I was hoping that going from being a soldier for the government to being a soldier for the corporation could be a nice change in pace for me. To see how things are done differently here. Hopefully, that will give some insight in this whole issue." Axton said. "Alright, I've said my part. What about you?"_

_"__Well, if there is one thing that you need to know about me that you haven't already known …" Eugene said smugly. " … it's that I'm bisexual."_

_"__Uh … okay …" Axton said hesitantly as he shift his eyes uncomfortably while staring at Eugene with mild surprise. "Look, I have no phobias or discrimination towards the LGBT. You don't need to worry about that."_

_"__Why thank you, sexy. *Chuckles* The truth is I already know that I like the stick as much as I like the hole ever since I hit puberty. Unfortunately, not everyone that I grew up with have the same open-mindedness towards my sexuality." Eugene said with confidence. "I never once hide it from anyone, even though I ended up being bullied, teased, ridiculed, and mistreated in every way you could think possible. But you know what I am besides being bi? I'm also damn good at just about everything. I bested everyone in tests. I bested everyone in sports. I bested everyone in everything that people can think of. They may be haters, but you gotta love the look on their faces when I totally kicked their asses in any sort of competition. It sure feels good to be on top of everyone else. It doesn't matter who you are, as long as you work hard and perform like a master, you can always gain respect and recognition. That is my philosophy, and that sort of mentality is what keeps me going up to this day."_

_"__Interesting way of thinking. So what makes you decide to join the Dahl military?" Axton asked._

_"__Well, being a soldier means having to be at the top of your game in both physical and mental proficiency, which is just the perfect place for a competition-hungry person like me. I'm here to test myself even further and to get more people to recognize me." Eugene said smugly. "Unfortunately, most national militaries don't even want an LGBT in their group. Think they might be afraid I might do something to their boys in the showers or something, I don't know. But for private militaries like Dahl, they simply don't care about that. It doesn't matter if you swing the other way, as long as you can hold a gun and shoot straight, you're good enough for Dahl." Eugene said smugly. "That's what I like about private militaries. So, in a sense, we both are similar in that we both hate national government armies."_

_"__Well, it's nice that I got myself a friend who I can sympathize with." Axton said confidently as he gives Eugene a friendly arm-wrestle handshake. "Just promise me one thing … don't do anything freaky to me in the showers."_

_"__Ahahaha … don't worry. I'll watch over you … if you know what I mean." Eugene said jokingly, which prompts Axton to roll his eyes._

_As Axton and Eugene are about to finish up their dinner in the eatery, they saw Lieutenant Sarah walking sternly towards them, which prompt them to stand up straight and perform a respectful salute._

_"__Lieutenant, Sir!" Axton and Eugene said as they salute._

_"__Very nice, though I failed to see you giving the drill sergeant the same respect as you have given me during today's training." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly towards the two, which prompts them to drop their jaws and feeling kind of embarrassed. "Save the excuse. You two don't need to go through regular training tomorrow. Instead, you are to report to my office tomorrow at the break of dawn. Understood?"_

_"__Uhh, Lieutenant, if I may ask, why do you need the two of us there?" Axton asked with curiosity._

_"__You'll find out when I meet you two again tomorrow morning. Now, if you two have no further questions or comments, you are dismissed." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly before walking briskly out of the eatery._

_"__Huh … wonder what was all that about?" Axton asked himself._

_"__Who knows? Maybe she wants to promote us cuz' we're so awesome in training today." Eugene said smugly._

_"__Yeah right. Hopefully, she doesn't shove a boot into our asses before kicking us out of the battalion." Axton said._

_Eventually, both Axton and Eugene went to their sleeping areas and decide to call it a day._


	30. A Soldier's Training

**Author's Note****: Thank you all readers! So far, I'm trying to pump out as many chapters as I could in short and regular intervals. I anticipate that it's going to be a really REALLY long story and some of the storylines are not completely set in stone yet. I totally understand, you guys. You dedicate yourself to reading my story and have an urging need to find out what happens next. Then you have to wait an unpredictable amount of time for the next chapter to finish. It's like waiting for an anime episode every week or waiting for the next novel of a book series to come out. It's frustrating as hell. Trust me, I've been there. But, at the same time, I got to tread carefully. Some people (I don't mean all of you) out there are nitpickers and would stop at nothing to meticulously scan for every plot-hole they can find just so they could magnify it for everyone to see. To make a good story that is truly plot-hole free is easier said than done. If I rush it, the story might lose quality. If I take my time, you guys will get impatient. So I'm trying to balance out the two and optimize to the best course of action. I love writing these stories as much as you love reading them. That is why as long as I live and not be bogged down with other responsibilities, I will continue to write these stories for the sake of your pleasure and I will do it with the best combination of quality and speed possible. Thank you for all your support, readers. Enjoy the reads. ;)**

* * *

**Now, here are responses to some more of your questions and comments:**

**#1. Jakobs made a shield. It was 0 protection but added 10,000 to player health.**

**I am aware of that. It's called the Rough Rider and it is the only known shield produced exclusively by Jakobs thus far. However, there are several reasons why Monty didn't carry it with him onto the corporate vault hunt. A) Monty's father hated his guts. B) Monty just doesn't like using shields in general. You'll get more in-depth knowledge about Monty's relationship with his father later on.**

**#2. I hope [Salvador and Mama Jaws] have make-up sex in the end.**

**AHAHAHahahahahaha … AHAHAHAhahahahahahehehehehehahaha … *shivers***

**#3. Almost as emotional as Angel &amp; Roland's deaths. And believe me, I cried when I first played it.**

***cries deeply* Why remind me of such tragedy? *grabs tissue to blow on* WWWWHHHHYYYY?!**

* * *

Chapter 30: A Soldier's Training

"I hope she has a nice ass." Gaige suddenly and slyly blurted out in the middle of Axton's storytelling.

"What?!" Axton asked with surprise.

"You always brag about how hot your ex-wife was and that how much you missed the sex and everything." Gaige said as her mischievous smile only grew even bigger. You can already tell she enjoys teasing Axton as if they are playful siblings.

"She was my commanding officer at the time. I would never-" Axton said defensively with barely-contained embarrassment.

"You're right. She does have a nice ass." Eugene said smugly.

"Eugene!" Axton scolded at his long-time friend and rival.

"What? You know it's true." Eugene said with smug coolness, as if not discouraged by Axton's hidden burst of anger. "It's such a shame that I've never get to experience that ass of hers, unlike your lucky ass. Still waiting for that threesome that I totally deserve."

" *Sigh* You're unbelievable, Eugene." Axton said tiringly. "No, I do not think of Sarah like that when we met during that time. It was strictly respect of authority, okay? Granted, she is a woman with a personality as cold and hard as raw steel, so it's not like my initial advances were going to be successful anyway. Now, back to the story of the next day…"

* * *

_It was a typical early morning in the Dahl military base where Axton and Eugene were stationed in. Instead of going into regular training like the others, they went to the Lieutenant's office as ordered. As they enter, they saw Lieutenant Sarah seated appropriately in the office chair staring them with her cold and serious eyes. Right from the start, the two knew that Lieutenant Sarah is not one to mess around and therefore gave her a proper salute immediately after they enter._

_"__Lieutenant!" Axton and Eugene saluted._

_"__At ease." Lieutenant Sarah said properly. "As you may want to know, there is an important reason I have told both of you to come here. But first, I need to ask you two a question. Are you familiar with the Commando program?"_

_Axton and Eugene's eyes widen in mild surprise as they briefly look at each other before returning their gaze back at the lieutenant. _

_"__Lieutenant, we are familiar with the Commando program. Sergeant briefed us during the intro class." Axton said with proper soldier tone of speech. "It's a special program within the Dahl military dedicated to train the most gifted and talented soldiers within the entire unit."_

_"__They get specialized training and the best gear Dahl could offer in order to fight the toughest enemies and accomplish the toughest missions Dahl will encounter." Eugene added with the same proper tone. "In every way, they are several grades higher than an average infantryman and therefore receive the highest respect and prestige out of all within the Dahl's military section. In other words, the Commandos are the best-of-the-best soldiers of Dahl."_

_"__Precisely. That is why my reason for telling you two to come here is to tell you that you might have a chance of getting to be … a Commando." Lieutenant Sarah said._

_Again, Axton and Eugene were utterly surprised to hear that. They know that they might have stood out among the crowd in terms of standard soldier training, but they don't expect to be at the level deserving of going to the Commando level. In fact, given their delinquent behavior, they suspect that they might be even less qualified than an average soldier._

_"__Don't be too happy about it. I said you two might have a chance. There is no guarantee that you're going to get in." Lieutenant Sarah said with a strict and formal tone typical of those in the military. "You're going to have to go through a test set by me before you even get referred to the standard entrance exam of actually getting to be a Commando."_

_"__With all due respect, Lieutenant … why us?" Axton said with slight nervousness._

_"__I'll tell you why it's not you two, or at least it shouldn't be you two. It's certainly not because you disrespected authority when you have been given simple instructions to follow. I have heard about it from the drill sergeant." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly._

_"__Yeah about that-" Eugene try to point out before being cut off._

_"__Silence!" Lieutenant Sarah snapped while maintaining her cool. She then stands from her seat and walk briskly to look out the window while continuing her speech. "I'll tell you why. I was once just like you two a long time ago. Someone who has the skills but lack the patience. Someone who thinks rules and authority are just there to hold back my potential. That rules are made to be broken and authority could be disobeyed if given a good reason. However, I learned it the hard way that it's not always true." Lieutenant Sarah then turns her head away from the window to look at the two soldiers as she walks closer to them. "Regardless, while being the obedient authoritative military figure that I was, I always have a part of me that wants to break free and surpass limitations set by someone else. The will to surpass and the will to control go hand in hand when it comes to being a soldier. You got potential to surpass. Now you need to show me that you got the potential to control."_

_"__So … what do you want us to do exactly?" Axton asked intriguingly._

_Lieutenant Sarah walks ever so close to Axton until her face is inches away from hers. She stares with such a serious face that it's starting to scare Axton a little._

_" … __Take off your clothes." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly._

* * *

"Ooh, I'm sensing a bit of heat going on … of the sexual kind." Gaige said slyly as she continues to mischievously enjoy every second of this story.

"This story gonna be good, girl. Listen up, K.C. Whatever they're about to do, you're gonna do it to me when we are both old enough, which is like a couple of years or somethin', I don't know." Tina said, jokingly of course.

"TO THE EXTREME, TINA!" K.C. replied loudly while pumping both fists in the air.

"Uh, Lil, I think we should cover Tina ears for the next part." Maya suggested.

"Already on it." Lilith said with cool playfulness while she gently covers Tina's ears, which in turn made Tina pout a little.

"This next part's getting' juicy! Does it involve blood n' gore? For skaglickin' sake, there better be blood n' gore!" Mama Jaws yelled out loud.

"No … it's not like that … I haven't even finished-" Axton said irritatingly.

"We should totally record this and put it up on the ECHOnet. People go crazy for content like this." Xiao Lan said with mocking politeness.

"Seems like you have some awfully familiar knowledge with the subject matter, Ms. Chen." Patrick said sternly with an intriguingly-raised eyebrow.

"Oh, not really. But, a good reporter of the media should always look at the fringes of the ECHOnet for interesting content, so I do look around often … if you know what I mean." Xiao Lan replied cheerfully with a bit of tease.

"Hey, if you even dare record this-" Axton said with a warning glare while pointing a threatening finger at them.

"Relax, Ax. Those two are harmless. The worst they could do is probably record this story and keep it to themselves so they could blackmail you for the rest of your life, which really isn't as horrible as it sounds." Eugene said smugly. "Now, want me to continue where you left off?"

"I can handle it." Axton said. "So, as I was saying …"

* * *

_"__Uh … excuse me?" Axton said while being totally weirded-out by the Lieutenant's orders._

_"__You heard me. Strip." Lieutenant Sarah said without an ounce of joking-around in her tone of voice, which means she is dead-serious. At the same time, she is proceeding to take off her own clothes, which caused Axton and Eugene to go from weirded-out to full-on WTF?! (and slightly aroused, because, c'mon, they might be soldiers, but they are still healthy young men, am I right? … am I right? …)_

_"__Woah, hold on. I didn't think it was THAT kind of test. You should have said so in the first place." Eugene said with slight smug on his face, anticipating as to where this is going._

_"__It wasn't. I'll explain once you both are done stripping. Now get on with it." Lieutenant Sarah said while still maintaining her serious tone, which is kind of mismatching with the situation here._

_"__Umm, do we have to take off … everything? What if we just leave down to our undies?" Axton said with slight nervousness._

_"__You can leave your underwear on. It doesn't matter." Lieutenant Sarah said with her maintained professional serious tone._

_Axton and Eugene are both astonished and confused as to what the hell is going on and whether the Lieutenant is a sex-addict or full-on crazy or both. Regardless, they followed orders and stripped down to their underwear. Lieutenant Sarah is also just down to her bra and panties._

_"__Now that we have all stripped … Fight me." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly._

_"__Uhh … what?" Axton said with a dumbfounded look on his face._

_"__You heard me. Hand-to-hand combat. One vs. One. Win by knockdown or tap-out. You first." Lieutenant Sarah said with a no-nonsense tone as she pointed at Axton to order him to fight her in a brawl. _

_Axton already felt kind of strange doing all this in front of his commanding officer, but orders are orders and he figured that there must be some kind of perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. So Axton moved in front of the lieutenant and prepare his hand-to-hand combat fighting stance while the lieutenant is doing the same. Axton was ready, but he can tell Lieutenant Sarah was fierce by just looking at her eyes. Her beautiful green eyes. As Axton began to scan every inch of her body, he starts to notice other feminine parts of the lieutenant's body. Her shoulder-length bright-blonde hair, previously tied into a neat bun behind her head, is now untied and waving glowingly. Her skin is a tone of white tan and her figure was lean and muscular, typical of any women working in the military, yet it still maintains a sexy curve. Her gray bra and panties were from that one famous lingerie store that specializes in selling erotic lingerie, as if the lieutenant is purposely wearing those specifically for this day and this situation, since those are clearly worn to be seen. From the looks of it, you can hardly believe that the woman standing before him is the same respectable woman that is his boss. Yet, you cannot help but daydream all day long about being able to just gently touch the smooth figure on her body …_

_"__Fight!" Lieutenant Sarah said briskly, before catching Axton off-guard in a brief split-second in order to go for the takedown, pinning him down to the ground in one smooth motion. The fight was over before it even started._

_" __*Chuckles* Damn, Axton. The lieutenant got you good." Eugene said with delight, clearly enjoying watching the fight despite of it being brief and one-sided._

_"__Shut up. I wasn't ready, that's all." Axton said embarrassingly as he got back up from the floor after the lieutenant released him from the arm-lock._

_"__Not being ready is not an acceptable excuse on the battlefield." Lieutenant Sarah said before resuming to her fighting stance again. "Best two out of three?"_

_"__Heh, alright." Axton said with a bit more confidence as he resumed to his fighting stance while facing squarely at the lieutenant. _

_Axton just got caught off-guard and that cost him this round. Clearly, the lieutenant got years of experience ahead of him, despite being around the same age. Axton has to be in a more serious mindset if he's going to win this. He is ready to win. _

_"__Fight!" Lieutenant Sarah said to initiate the battle._

_Both Axton and Sarah try to flail punches and elbow strikes at each other, but in such a way that is reminiscent to professional unarmed fighters. Each are just as meticulous as the other as to when to attack aggressively and when to maneuver evasively. Eventually, Axton goes in to try to perform a takedown on Sarah, but Sarah manages to move away from him so he is only able to harmlessly wrap his arms around her. Then, out of nowhere, Sarah landed a kiss onto Axton's cheek, which shook him up a little bit enough to release his grip on her for a little while. Next thing he knew, she delivered a hard upward elbow strike into his chin, which stuns him a little and gives enough time for Sarah to takedown Axton and have him at an arm-lock. Axton tries to struggle out of the lock, but eventually surrenders and taps out, leaving Sarah to release Axton and emerge as the victor. Eugene couldn't help but holding in his laughter as he watches his buddy getting beaten by a woman of slightly smaller stature than he is. Eugene can already tell on Axton's face that Axton is completely ashamed of how the fight turns out._

_"__Damn, Ax. You really got your ass handed to you." Eugene said with barely held-back laughter._

_"__Shut up, Eugene." Axton said irritatingly to Eugene before turning his focus towards the lieutenant. "What the hell was that? You kissed me to catch me off-guard and then you took advantage of it!"_

_Sarah didn't say anything but responded with a glare that clearly represented "How dare you speak to your superior officer with that tone of voice?" which scares Axton a little, enough to adjust his tone of voice._

_"__I'm sorry, Lieutenant. But that was uncalled for. That was … unfair." Axton said with a low tone of voice._

_"__Unfair? War … was never meant to be fair. If you are going to be an elite soldier, you got to expect your enemies to fight without regard to the so-called 'rules of war'. That is how you truly win. You do not just surpass your enemy physically, but mentally." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly._

_"__I … uh … " Axton was basically speechless as to somehow trying to comprehend the ideology within the lieutenant's words._

_"__Do you know what's the advantage women have against men on the battlefield?" Lieutenant Sarah asked, which only caused Axton to be more dumbfounded. "It's mostly about sex appeal and misconceptions more than anything else. Sure, we live in an age where the discrimination of gender, sexuality, ethnicity, and such is much less pronounced than they are many decades ago. However, that does not change that fact that when perfectly healthy grown men saw a beautiful woman wearing barely any clothing, they cease to use certain parts of their brain that has to do with reason and judgement. For the most part, they become less intelligent and more impulsive when encountering a possible candidate for mating. It's more of an instinct hard-wired into our brains, really. Teaching them not to be sexually biased probably won't change much." As Lieutenant Sarah explains, Axton began to understand her true intentions more and more. "Also, there are the misconceptions. Naturally, some men would assume that women in general are weaker than they are and will instinctively let their guard down. It's that assumption of facing a weaker enemy that leaves you with a lot of vulnerabilities. These vulnerabilities will then allow the other side to exploit and ultimately win the battle. In other words, you lost because you assume that I'm weaker than you … and also, you secretly want to have sex with me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have held back."_

_"__That is not true, Lieutenant, I have the utmost respect towards you. It's just that … I don't want to hurt your pride if I did defeat you. That's all." Axton said with slight embarrassment._

_"__Excuses. I am your commanding officer, which means I am most likely more experienced than you are in warfare. By holding back, you aren't being polite. You are being insulting. You assume that I might lose because you see me as a woman first and a soldier second. Isn't that right, private?" Lieutenant Sarah said sternly as she displays a disapproving glare at him, which caused Axton to feel even more shame, before turning her attention towards Eugene. "Your turn. Let's see if you can do better than he can."_

_"__Heh, with all due respect, Lieutenant. That trick won't work on me. I've sparred with males and females alike, which, if I may say, are much hotter than you." Eugene said with a smug smile._

_"__Well, I certainly won't use the same trick again. To be a soldier is to be adaptable." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly before readying her fighting stance._

_"__Heh, whatever you say." Eugene said smugly before readying his own fighting stance. Unlike Axton, Eugene is incredibly competitive and prideful, so he will definitely give it all he's got in this fight._

_"__Fight!" Lieutenant Sarah said, starting the fight._

_The fight between Sarah and Eugene was a little more tactical than aggressive. Neither went to their opponent head-on. Instead, each maneuver at a safe distance away from the other as they meticulously analyze the other's strengths and weaknesses in their movement. They both know that someone who tries to fight without sufficient analysis of their opponent would more likely lose the fight. The old saying "Know your enemy, know yourself." still holds true up until today. After a couple seconds of careful observation, they both finally unleash their first strike. Eugene was the more forward one, trying to throw a fury of punches, kicks, elbow strikes, and knee strikes while Sarah try her hardest to block, evade, and parry his attacks. In her mind, even Sarah admits that Eugene was a better fighter than Axton. It's not necessarily physical but psychological. That is because Eugene really doesn't like to lose. On the other hand, that could be something Sarah could exploit._

_"__Is that all you got, soldier?" Lieutenant Sarah said, now with a bit of smirk than usual._

_"__Oh, like you're the one to talk. You are barely hitting me." Eugene said smugly._

_"__Let's face it, you are not the best-of-the-best as you've proclaimed. In fact, you're not even that good. You are weak and pathetic and you and I know it." Lieutenant Sarah said, now with a bit of ferocity and hatred in her words._

_"__Oh, you're trying to smack-talk me? Think that would shake me up enough for you to gain an edge? That won't work." Eugene said with smug, while internally trying to hide his small amount of anger inside a cool-exterior personality._

_"__Maybe you don't think so. But I can see it in your eyes. You hate losing. That's why you will put every effort into trying not to lose. But you are a sore-loser. Once you go down the path of defeat, you will beat yourself up so much that you will have a hard time ever winning again." Lieutenant Sarah said with a tone similar to that of a bully. "You think you're invincible. But, in reality, you are vulnerable."_

_"__Say all you want, lady. I'm hearing none of it." Eugene said, now barely holding on to his cool and calm demeanor and slowly moving towards being kind of pissed-off._

_"__Why don't you throw this round and see how you handle with defeat as you fight me on the next round? Hm?" Sarah said as she continues to spar with Eugene, with Sarah now being the one on the offensive._

_"__Oh, try to taunt me into throw the match? Nice try, but no dice." Eugene said with a mixture of smug and irritation._

_"__Also, you're a fag, Eugene. You're a noob. Go ahead and rage-quit already, you homo dick-sucking f*ck." Sarah said, now going full-on trolling as her attacks become more ferocious._

_"__Name-calling, huh? How mature!" Eugene said, suddenly losing his cool demeanor and went to straight-up anger as he tries to counter Sarah's blows with his own aggressive attacks._

_"__Go on! Admit it! You're a loser!" Sarah said, completely out of character from her usual strict and disciplined personality._

_"__No! Shut up!" Eugene said angrily._

_"__ADMIT IT!" Sarah yelled._

_"__NO! SHUT U-" Eugene responded, anger with anger, but was interrupted by a strong uppercut delivered by Sarah. Before Eugene was able to regain balance, Sarah follows up with a throw which causes Eugene to slam to the ground on his back. In a matter of seconds, Eugene lost his cool and lost the match._

_Axton took slight pity in Eugene and decided to offer him a hand for him to grab and get back up, which he did. However, Eugene's pride remains damaged, as Axton can clearly see in his face. _

_"__Was that really necessary, Lieutenant?" Axton questioned._

_"__Name-calling. Taunting. Immature insults. These tactics might seem childish but they also happen to be viciously effective in real-life warfare. If used properly, they can lead enemies to become more aggressive and emotional rather than intelligent and tactical." Lieutenant Sarah said, returning to her strict tone of voice. "All it takes is just one soldier to have his pride hurt to cause him to make an impulsive decision and get himself killed, thereby dragging down the entire team and essentially the whole war with it. So, in transition, Eugene's pride to not lose will ultimately cause him to lose and that will eventually slow down his teammates. Both you and your pal are not suitable to be Commandos because Commandos need not only good physical skills but also a firm and impenetrable mentality, and you two simply do not have that."_

_Both Axton and Eugene reflect on Lieutenant Sarah's words as they try to break down the meaning behind it. As they think deeper, they sort of understand why the lieutenant did what she did. The naked fighting, the sexual advances, the name-calling. It was all a test. Sure, it was unconventional, but it was effective enough to prove the point. Your enemy could be anyone and could use any tactic within their arsenal to win the war. Whether it is seemingly unfair or simply disgusted within social norms, as long as it could get the job done, they are going to use it. In order to truly win against any opponent, we have to anticipate the unanticipated and expect the unexpected. In essence, if your enemy tries to use sex appeal or to say hurtful words to gain a psychological advantage, you must be resilient and you must be adaptable. That is perhaps the true meaning of being a Commando._

_" __*Sigh* Alright. I think I understand what you are trying to do here. But … please … give us another chance." Axton said pleadingly._

_"__Alright. I'll give both of you one more chance." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly. "Fight me one more time. If you win, I'll refer you to the Commando program. If you lose, I will personally make sure you never get the chance to get into the Commando program ever again and that you will forever stay as an infantryman."_

_Both Axton and Eugene can tell from Lieutenant Sarah's eyes that she's serious. Axton and Eugene then look at each other as they consider the possibilities. Axton would be okay with just being an infantryman for the rest of his military career, although not being able to join as one of the elite would feel like missing out and seems like a waste on his potential. Eugene, on the other hand would give it all he's got to get that spot into the Commandos because his pride wouldn't allow otherwise. Also, seeing as the stakes are suddenly driven up to basically a "Do or die" scenario, Eugene is thereby even more anticipated to win this fight._

_"__Sounds fair." Axton said with a mixture of confidence and nervousness. "I'll go first."_

_Both Axton and Sarah ready their fighting stances as their gaze is focused and their minds are clear. Axton had to take a second to breathe slowly as to reduce the stress building up into this fight. Axton already knows what the lieutenant is capable of, both physically and psychologically. Axton knows there no room for error here, but he also knows that perfection mentality alone will not be enough to defeat the lieutenant. Axton must try something else. Something new. Something unpredictable. Something unexpected. Only then will he be able to gain an edge in this fight and possibly win it._

_"__Fight!" Lieutenant Sarah said, starting the fight. _

_Sarah knows Axton is the more defensive and more cautious of the two, even more so after what happened at the last fight, and seeks this as an opportunity to go on the offensive. She throws a couple of quick strikes and grappling moves, which are carefully blocked and evaded by Axton, though also leaving him no opportunity to attack. As Axton is basically being pummeled by Sarah, Axton suddenly dug up an old memory. It was … the memory of that little girl. The one whose life could have been saved if he would just ignore his protocol. The one who would still be alive today if he is willing to value morality over political bullsh*t. It's no longer about personal glory. It's about having the opportunity to save lives and protect those who could not protect themselves. In Axton's eyes, that is the true meaning … of being a soldier._

_"__I'm not going to let her die." Axton mumbled as he was taking blows from Sarah._

_" … __what?" Sarah asked confusingly, suddenly pausing her attacks._

_"__I'm not going to let her die, GOD DAMN IT!" Axton yelled, suddenly gaining a huge amount of motivated anger out of seemingly nowhere. Axton then proceed to deliver his counter-attack onto Sarah in a fury of strikes. "She was just a girl! You could have saved her if your head wasn't so stuck-up in your own ass! You and your peacekeeping methods are PATHETHIC!"_

_While Axton delivered his angry rant, several of his blows went past Sarah's defenses, stunning her for a little while. _

_"__I'm not going to just sit back any longer." Axton said with ferocity, slowly losing his grasp in reality. "I'm going to be a soldier and I'm going to do what it takes to save lives in my own way. You are not HOLDING ME BACK ANYMORE!"_

_As Axton delivers his last line, he also delivers his final blow towards Sarah, in the form of a cross-punch right in Sarah's jaw, knocking her straight back to her office desk and causing her to roll over it and fall onto the ground. As Axton finally come to his senses, he was shocked at what he did to the lieutenant and immediately went to see if she was okay._

_"__Oh my god. Lieutenant, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" Axton said with sincere apology and concern._

_"__I'm alright." Lieutenant Sarah said as she got back up. Even though, her cheek was slightly bruised, she remains unfazed, typical of a well-trained and disciplined soldier. "You did well, private Axton. You use your past experiences to motivate you to accomplish a task in which stakes are high. That is a valuable skill for a soldier to have. You are definitely well-suited for being one of the Commandos."_

_Although, Axton felt relieved for being approved at going into the program, he also couldn't help but feel a bit awkward towards the whole situation of which he literally punched his superior officer in the face. As Axton displays an embarrassed smile while rubbing the back of his head with one hand, Sarah moves along towards Eugene to confront him._

_"__Your turn." Sarah said sternly._

_"__Heh, are you sure about that? You seem pretty beaten up by the looks of it." Eugene said, resuming from being slightly pissed-off to being generally smug._

_"__I'll be fine. A couple of minor injuries will not affect my performance and it will certainly not affect my assessment of your skills." Sarah said sternly._

_"__Alright then. Ready up." Eugene said with mild confidence._

_Both ready their fighting stance, with Eugene suddenly becoming more empowered than before. To him, this became personal the moment Sarah thinks he's a sore loser. Sarah assumes that losing one match will shatter Eugene's pride and make him susceptible to lose again. In fact, it's quite the opposite, and Eugene will prove her otherwise._

_"__Fight!" Sarah said to start the match, but within a blink of an eye, Eugene goes for a hook right in Sarah's face, causing her to be shaken up a bit. It's like Sarah is fighting an entirely different person from before. This version of Eugene had gotten so fierce and precise in his movements that he is basically moving as quick as a lightning bolt. Even though Sarah cannot really see Eugene's eyes through his crimson-red sunglasses, Sarah could kind of imagine Eugene's eyes glowing bright red behind the sunglasses, sort of like a ferocious predatory animal. Sarah could barely keep up as Eugene lands blow after blow onto his opponent._

_"__Funny thing about success and failure." Eugene said smugly in between his attacks. "They say that failure is the mother of success. Therefore, in order to achieve true success, you have to encounter multiple failures, right? You have no idea how many times I have failed despite of trying my very best! NO IDEA!"_

_As Eugene talks, he continues to land perfect blows towards the lieutenant, eventually landing a punch right into her liver, causing her to flinch._

_"__Guess what, lieutenant? That last round … I lost because I want you to taste what it's like to defeat the best-of-the-best before coming to a shocking realization that I am capable of crushing you if I wanted to." Eugene whispered into Sarah's ear as she clutches her stomach due to the pain. Afterwards, Eugene immediately sends Sarah flying into the wall with a spinning side-kick to her face. To an average observer, it hurts just by looking at it. To Sarah, she had been through worse. Regardless, she got back up, bruises everywhere and perhaps some blood flowing out of her nose and lips. Yet, through all that, Sarah remains firm and unfazed. Eugene, on the other hand, couldn't help but display a smug smirk for besting his superior officer in a fight, given that they both gave it everything they got. Meanwhile, Axton now seems more concerned than ever towards Sarah._

_"__Oh my God, are you alright, lieutenant?" Axton said with concern, placing a gentle hand onto Sarah's back before shifting his focus towards Eugene. "Hey, Eugene. You don't have to be that rough on the lieutenant. You could have fractured some of her bones, for God sake."_

_"__Hey, I didn't say anything when you gave her the haymaker." Eugene countered smugly as he takes out his comb to fix his hair._

_"__I'm fine, private. I was expecting Eugene to not hold back. Believe me, if I couldn't handle physical pain, I wouldn't stay in the military for so long." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly. "Congratulations, both of you. You two now have my official approval and referral into the Commando program. Pat yourself on the back. You've earned it." Both Axton and Eugene's face light up with joy as they heard they now have an opportunity to make a name for themselves in the military sector of Dahl. "Now if you excuse me, I need to go to the infirmary and, afterwards, have to file some paperwork for adding you two to the program. It'll probably take about a week for it to be processed. But, before then, resume to your regular training. Also … try not to piss off the drill sergeant this time."_

_"__Yes, Ma'am!" both Axton and Eugene saluted the lieutenant. _

_As the three put back their clothes on, Sarah proceeds to walk out of the office and head towards the infirmary when she is suddenly halted by Axton._

_"__May I accompany you to the infirmary? Please, after all that's happened, it's only reasonable to do so." Axton said with slight embarrassment._

_"__What are you, a teacher's pet? I can go there on my own." Lieutenant Sarah said with mild irritation._

_"__Please … uh … I insist." Axton said pleadingly._

_" __*Sigh* fine." Lieutenant Sarah said before slinging her arm around Axton's shoulder, which was kind of unexpected from Axton. As Axton look at Sarah with a blushed and embarrassed face, the lieutenant could only reply with a cold glare. "Well, I am almost certain that some of my ribs are cracked, so you really don't expect me to walk all the way over there without support, right? What? Am I too heavy for you?"_

_"__Uh … no … not at all." Axton said with slight stutter as he adjusts his shoulders position to better accommodate carrying the injured lieutenant. Axton couldn't help but blush as his face is only inches away from Sarah's._

_"__Heh, if you excuse me, I'll be heading back to the barracks. Have a nice trip." Eugene said with a friendly smile as he walks off._

_"__Yeah, yeah, see you later." Axton said as he carries the lieutenant to the infirmary in another direction._

_"__You and private Eugene seem close." Lieutenant Sarah said softly._

_"__Huh? Well … yeah … I mean … we sort of see each other as rivals … and … somewhere along the way, we become buddies … it just sort of happens." Axton said._

_"__Really? Tell me more." Lieutenant Sarah said, with a strange but gentle friendliness towards her voice, which is more reminiscent to talk as close friends than as talk between a superior and a subordinate._

_As Axton and Sarah walks slowly towards the infirmary, they continue talking as they gradually get to know each other more._

* * *

"Daaaaaaaaamn, son. Yo' girl's a badass. With a bad … ass, if you know what I'm sayin'. Haha! *Snort*." Tina said jokingly as she playfully elbowed Axton.

"Tina's right! To the EXTREME! Your ex is probably the most badass motherf*cker in the entire universe of badass motherf*ckers!" K.C. added loudly. "In fact, I bet that when she is in proximity of other men, those men's balls probably shrink in response to the unsurpassed badassery of Lieutenant Sarah!"

"But still, it's kinda disappointin' how this whole story didn't turn into a sex fest." Mama Jaws added with disappointment. "I was really expecting some kinda skaglickin' blood-suckin' sex goin' on here. What gives?!"

"I highly doubt that any kind of unruly sexual acts will take place, even before I heard the story." Kazuki spoke elegantly. "Although we at Maliwan do not have an official military, we are well aware of military discipline and policies established all over the galaxy due to interacting with various clients of the military variety. It's not uncommon for acts of the sexual nature to be strictly regulated to prevent unnecessary scandals. That said, this Lieutenant Sarah seems to be a bold character. Cold and rigid but efficient and deadly … sort of like someone I know."

As Kazuki finishes her sentence, she briefly glanced at Selena, which implies that she is referring to her. Selena briefly catch the glance and reacted with a glare of mild anger and annoyance as she continues to pose as a passive listener to the backstories, indicating that Selena does not like attention, even if it is good attention. Kazuki caught the glare and decided to remain silent out of being slightly intimidated by the Hyperion specialist.

"Heh, well, like they say, this is just the beginning." Eugene said smugly. "The real hell comes from the actual training of being a commando. It sure pushes us to the limit, don't it, Ax?"

"Something you and I can agree on." Axton added. "The Commando entrance exam and training are perhaps the worst 3 years of my life, and for a good reason. When you're an infantryman, all you need are the basics. But when you decide to join the Commandos, you got to give it your all or being shamed from being a quitter is the least of your worries. People actually die in the Commando training because of the brutality, although it was not made clear as to how many. Regardless, since we got our foot into the door, we might as well not turn back, even though sometimes I wish I could …"

* * *

_It was about a week after the encounter with Lieutenant Sarah. Seems like a lot longer in Axton's perspective, for he somehow yearn to meet her again. Despite of that, Axton cannot lose focus now. He and Eugene had gained entrance into the Commando aptitude test. Now it's time to prove their worth and not let Lieutenant Sarah's faith in them be gone to waste. Both Axton and Eugene were now standing in a military fashion along with other Commando candidates outside of the Dahl's military base and under a huge canyon. There are two large parallel walls of rock towering between the group. As you look up to the tall rock walls towering over them, the candidates are already feeling overwhelmed. As the soldiers patiently wait in an ordered formation, there is one person that came towards them in the front. He is wearing the same Dahl military uniform as they are, although the insignia indicates that he's of a higher rank, possibly even higher than Lieutenant, probably Colonel. The man himself is a tall and broad-shouldered Caucasian at around his 40's, with well-groomed short orange-brown hair with a little bit of graying-out to indicate his old age, a thick and straight-cut mustache (MUSTACHE! … *clears throat* sorry …), and fierce-looking hazel eyes. Judging by the looks of it, he seems to be in charge of testing the candidates for the Commando program._

_"__Good mornin', soldiers. I am Colonel Douglas. I will be responsible for testing you maggots to see which ones of you are qualified to be a Commando." Colonel Douglas said with a loud but firm Texan-accented voice, as the high volume of his voice allows him to be heard across the field of soldiers. "The Commandos are among the best soldiers Dahl could ever afford to train. They undergo the toughest and sh*tiest missions Dahl will ever face in their motherf*ckin lifetimes. It ain't no cakewalk for no motherf*ckin pussies. You think just because you got referred here, you might have a pretty good chance of getting into this prestigious section of the military unit? But you are DEAD WRONG. Not even close. I've seen plenty of soldiers who've got great promise and great potential, but eventually crack under pressure and just give up like the pussy maggots that they are. Heck, some even died during the training. Some were lost and forgotten. Some get grinded up to a pulp that not even their mamas recognize 'em. That is the sort of sh*t you will face when you enter the Commando training. So think carefully because this might be the last time you'd ever get to think carefully at all. You will most likely die before you even get to the training part and even more likely to die during training. I don't care how good you think you are, if you are even the slightest bit scared of death and pain, you will be broken and you will sure as hell not make the cut. You are free to leave the program whenever you want, but if you die, we are not gonna sugarcoat it for your families. We're just gonna straight up tell 'em 'Sir or ma'am, your son or daughter or husband or wife or whatever died at a training exercise because they are F*CKIN' PUSSY-ASS B*TCHES. If you want to back out now, the road back to base is right there. But if you were to stay, be prepared to endure the worst part of hell you can imagine."_

_This certainly sent shivers down some candidates. Already, some of them are reconsidering taking the test. Is it really worth dying over? Is it better to back out now? What are the chances that they'll even make it unscathed, or even make it out alive? After around a couple minutes of deciding, a small portion of the recruits actually backed out. Others have stayed, including Axton and Eugene of course. Maybe it's a matter of pride over life. Maybe it's the thrill of life-threatening danger. Maybe it's to not look like a pussy-ass b*tch. But for Axton and Eugene, they know what they were aiming for and won't back down no matter what._

_"__Alright, is that all? Last chance to back out before we start ..." Colonel Douglas said with his gung-ho manly voice straight out of Full-metal Jacket. "Okay then. Here are the true brave young men who aren't pussy maggots. Seems a lot more of you than from last year. Oh well, we'll see if you can keep it that way. First test …" Colonel Douglas paused his speech before turning around to look at the giant wall of rock behind him. He then point at it and say " … climb this wall."_

_Suddenly, many of the soldiers were shocked and frightened by the challenge that the Colonel proposed. The rock wall at the side of the cannon has got to be at least a couple hundred meters tall, almost the height of a typical skyscraper. The surface of the rock wall was so jagged that not even expert rock-climbers might have a chance at scaling it. Yet, these Commando candidates are going to climb it … without safety harnesses. One misstep could mean death. It surely is a monumental task, and it's only the first challenge._

_"__What? Didn't I make myself clear? Climb it. All the way to the top. No rock-climbing gear or any of that bullsh*t. Just you and your hands and feet. I told you it was going to be dangerous, didn't I?" Colonel Douglas said with a serious tone, which mean he's DEAD F*CKIN SERIOUS. "Now, I've already have a bunch of body bags prepared in case you accidentally slip and fall and crack your head open like an eggshell. But for those of you who are still alive but got a broken leg or somethin', TOUGH SH*T! You're gonna have to crawl all the way back to the base to get to the infirmary. Ain't no ambulance or medic-hovercraft gonna pick you up. Now … get goin' with the climbin'."_

_Many of the other soldiers were already in the borderline of pissing their pants right now. Not only is the rock wall they are climbing seemingly incredibly dangerous, the higher you go, the higher the risk of falling to your death. You either get out alive and victorious or your defeat equates to your death. Colonel Douglas sure isn't kidding around. But among the many that are fearful, only two face the rock wall wearing a smile of anticipation and smug._

_"__Race you to the top." Axton said casually to Eugene before dashing right into the wall with the other candidates._

_"__Oh, no you don't. I'm gonna beat you to it." Eugene replied with confidence as he follows Axton to the wall._

_It was pure madness. While Axton, Eugene, and several other uniquely talented and fearless candidates scale up the wall with a combination of speed and tact, others climb the wall with trembling hands, sweaty skin, and loose bowels (I bet the ones below them will be taking the sh*t if their bowels got too loose, am I right? … am I right? …). Axton and Eugene are seemingly taking the lead as most of the other candidates are mostly distributed evenly along the side of the wall. Then, suddenly …_

_"__AAAAAAHHHHHH!" one of the soldiers who were up about 30 meters onto the wall screamed as he had slipped and fell, hitting the ground with a hard thump and a sharp snapping sound of bone. Miraculously, he survived, but his leg is so broken up that you can actually see the femur sticking out of the flesh. The solider was understandably horrified and in tremendous pain, so he musters all of his energy to try to beg the Colonel to help him._

_"__Help … uh … Colonel … *heavy breathing* … F*CK, it hurts … I need help … please!" the soldier cried with intense pain as he is traumatized by how he ended up in a situation like this. _

_"__Son …" Colonel Douglas said with a low stern tone as he slowly walks towards the injured soldier and crouch down to face him. "Didn't I tell you that if you fall and not die, you are supposed to crawl back to base?"_

_" __*heavy breathing* … this is insane … this is not military training … this is torture!" the soldier yelled with outrage._

_Immediately afterwards, Colonel Douglas stood up and stomp right into the soldier's leg wound, causing him to scream even louder in pain. That scream was so loud, it could be heard by all of the soldiers still climbing up the rock wall. Even though it induced fear and horror to most of the candidates climbing the wall, it didn't distract Axton and Eugene at the slightest. _

_"__This … is … war … maggot. War is the ultimate test of endurance to all that is tragic, painful, and f*cked up." Colonel Douglas said sternly to the wounded soldier. "To be a true soldier … a Commando … is to bathe yourself in everything that war can dish out on you and shrug it off like it's just a tickle, before you give 'em the one-two counter and go for a knockout. War does not leave men with second chances. War does not pick and choose favorites. War decides who lives and who dies under the strictest and most realistic laws possible … the laws of nature. Survival of the fittest, motherf*cker. That's what war is about. So shut your pussy-mouth and CLIMB BACK TO BASE, YOU SH*T-EATING, C*CK-SUCKING MAGGOT! Or, would you like me to put you in a body-bag? Cuz I sure as hell am glad to get rid of a sack of sh*t like you and bury you along with a pile of actual maggots so you could fertilize the land instead of HOLDING BACK THE REST OF THE TEAM BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK AND PATHETHIC!"_

_The soldier cried even more intensely, but this time, it was because of the words spoken by Colonel Douglas in addition to his broken leg. As he painfully and shamefully crawled back to base, Colonel Douglas look up to the rock wall to see how the rest of the candidates are doing. Colonel Douglas knows extremely well how cruel it is, but recognizes it as being necessary. If these candidates cannot handle the tests, they are going to get themselves killed out on the battlefield anyway. The Commando program takes no losers, only winners. You either give it your all or have the good sense to not even try. That is the true way of the Commando because that is the true way of recognizing the harsh reality of war. Over the next hour or so, many more candidates fell. Some didn't make it. Some survived but sure wish they didn't because they are in staggering and crippling pain and would rather go for either a shot in the head or a f*ckload of painkillers. As with those that are still stuck on the wall, some literally cannot advance forward due to exhaustion of clinging onto the rock wall for way too long. They eventually give up by slowly descending back to the bottom of the wall and walk tiringly back to base while earning a disapproving glare from Colonel Douglas. It may be shameful, but at least they have kept their lives and their bones intact. All that's left are the few that managed to stick to the wall longer than a typical solider, with Axton and Eugene still in the lead._

_"__Heh, it sounds pretty painful on the way down. You sure you're alright, Eugene?" Axton said as he meticulously take his time to climb up the rock wall as to be cautious not to fall._

_"__Aww, hell no. I'm just getting started. Hey, after we're done, we should totally grab a beer or something. Losers buy the first round." Eugene said smugly as he is using the same tactic to carefully scale the rock wall. Even Eugene's got to admit, this task is challenging even for an ambitious competitor like him. Eugene hasn't been pushing himself to the limit like this for a long time and that is a combination of intense fear as well as thrill-seeking adrenaline for him._

_"__Deal. Be prepared to lose the beer money, Eugene, cuz, I sure as hell not gonna lose this challenge to you." Axton said as he is sweating intensely all over his face and breathing at a heavy but controlled rhythm in order to carefully conserve his stamina._

_"__You sure are cocky, aren't you, Ax- WOOH!" Eugene said smugly before he grabbed a loose rock on the wall, which crumbles and causes him to fall briefly before his hand is being instinctively grabbed by Axton just in time to prevent him from falling further._

_Axton is now feeling the weight of two men through the stretch of his arms and it is physically breaking him. On one hand, Axton is holding onto the rock that prevents both of them from falling. On the other hand, he has to bear the entire weight of another soldier that he is trying to prevent falling to his imminent death._

_"__Phew, that was too close." Eugene said as he is dangling from Axton's arm._

_" __Grrr … you got that right … arrr …" Axton said with grit as he continues to hold onto Eugene. "Now, hurry up and climb the wall! I can't hold much longer!"_

_Eugene tries to stretch his other arm to reach a portion of climbable wall, but he simply couldn't reach it. If he tries to swing, he might risk pulling Axton off of his rock, leaving him at risk of falling. There seems to be no other options here._

_" …__I can't reach it, Axton … just let go …" Eugene said, with the smug still contained within, despite of the present danger._

_" … __what? … don't be stupid … I'll swing you over there … you can make it …" Axton said, gritting his teeth even further due to the tremendous amount of stress put on his muscles. _

_"__Heh, you can barely move yourself. You don't have the stamina to do this swing. I'll only risk dragging you down with me. Let go, Axton. " Eugene said, with a smile on his face that demonstrated that he is at peace with dying, knowing that his friend may still get out alive._

_"__LIKE HELL I AM!" Axton shouted, nearly at his limit as he is losing his grip on Eugene._

_"__Just make sure to make it to Commando when I'm gone, alright? And also, if you ever have kids, name one of your boys after me." Eugene said with strangely inappropriate humor, given the situation._

_"__F*CK … I'm not letting you die, okay … if you let go, I let go as well … and we can both be dying losers together… you hear me?!" Axton said with slight sentiment._

_Eugene couldn't believe what he's hearing. All his life, it's been about the competition. Treat everyone as your competitor and you can conquer anything. Everyone is in it for themselves. To destroy each other in order to gain an edge and nothing else. Eugene uses that as motivation to not only survive, but thrive, and to become the best-of-the-best. Haters can hate all they want, but eventually his skills and accomplishments will shut them up for good. But now … to see someone willing to risk their lives to save him … that is totally unexpected. Eugene felt emotionally moved by it, even though he usually isn't the type of guy to get the feels. It might have expanded his perspective a bit and perhaps made him grow as a human being._

_"__Heh, you really know how to talk to a man who was on the brink of his death." Eugene said smugly._

_"__Just shut up, okay." Axton said with reasonable irritation towards Eugene's carefree antics. "Now, on three, I swing you to the rock over there for you to grab. Make sure to grab it, alright?" Axton slowly begins to swing Eugene towards the holding rock as he begins the count. "One … two … THREE!"_

_Eugene swung with the pendulum action of Axton and immediately grabs hold of the rock that safely anchors him onto the wall. At the same time, Axton not only let go of Eugene's hand, but also the other hand holding his rock. Due to the tremendous mechanical stress put onto Axton, he couldn't hold on to the rock anymore and fell. However, this time Axton's hand was now caught by Eugene to prevent Axton from falling to his own death, basically making this a reverse situation from before._

_"__Heh, I consider this returning the favor." Eugene said smugly as he is now doing the heavy-lifting of the two._

_" __*heavy breathing* … Oh, shut up …" Axton said with an exhausted tone._

_"__Now hurry up and grab onto the rock or I won't hesitate to let you go, unlike you." Eugene said, jokingly of course._

_"__Yeah right." Axton said with matching tone of casualness as he grabbed onto a rock safely before releasing from Eugene's dangling grip. "You wouldn't let me die even if you could. You love to have me around."_

_After some more careful minutes of rock-climbing, Eugene and Axton finally made it to the top of the wall. Since they both were tremendously exhausted, they both lie down on the ground facing up as they rest while letting the gentle breeze of sunny-day wind blow over them to cool them down. It certainly brought them much needed relief despite of being a relatively simple part of nature._

_"__Heh … hehehehehehe …" Eugene let out a chuckling laugh._

_"__Hahahahahahaha …" Axton followed up with his own laugh, signifying his sharing of the feeling of a hard-earned and deserving victory while knowing they are going to face even more drastically hard challenges up ahead._

_"__Looks like I've lost this round." Axton said and he was panting for air._

_"__Nah, man. You saved me from certain death. That round of free beer is all yours." Eugene said with a smug smile._

_" __*Sigh* … we are so going to die within the next few tests, aren't we?" Axton said with a tired tone._

_"__Even if we don't, it'll still be a hell lot of pain and suffering." Eugene added tiringly, but also displaying a genuine smile. "But it's good to know I have you going through it with me … brother." _

_"__Glad to be there by your side … brother." Axton replied with a matching smile._

_They then ended the chat with a fist-bump._

_"__What are you two pussy-c*ck suckers so happy about?" someone said over at the distance on top of the rock wall. _

_Axton and Eugene got up and saw Colonel Douglas standing beside them. They were rightfully shocked and confused, seeing as how a moment earlier they thought he was at the bottom of the rock wall._

_"__Colonel? How did you get up here?" Axton asked curiously._

_"__I climbed, of course." Colonel Douglas said with no sense of sarcasm whatsoever, which caused Axton and Eugene to look at each other in even greater confusion and disbelief. "What? You think just because you finally got up here, you think you're hot sh*t? I could easily pass the Commando test a hundred times over in my sleep. This is nothing. I should know. I was a Commando once, but I retired from that because I'm getting too old for that sh*t. But I know that the fight is not over. It never is. So I became a Colonel in order to oversee the next generation of Commandos being properly tested and trained so I won't be passing my torch to pussy-ass maggots."_

_Axton and Eugene could only listen and nodded in understanding and appreciation of the Colonel. Still, to have the ability to climb the entire wall in mere minutes was scary as sh*t. Now they know better not to f*ck with him._

_"__Hmph, I reckon you guys wouldn't even make it in the first test, but I guess I was wrong." Colonel Douglas said sternly. "Guess my daughter saw something in you guys that I didn't. Good thing you didn't let her down, because if you've backed out this Commando program, I would have killed you two anyway."_

_"__Uh, excuse me, Colonel, but by daughter, you mean …" Eugene said with a raised eyebrow._

_"__Lieutenant Sarah … she's my daughter." Colonel Douglas said sternly._

_That really surprised Axton and Eugene, more so than the fact that he is capable of scaling up a rock-wall with near superhuman speed. In terms of mannerisms, Lieutenant Sarah is nothing like Colonel Douglas. They don't even look alike. Maybe the lieutenant got her traits from her mother or something._

_"__The lieutenant is your daughter?! Wow … uh … we didn't know that until now …" Axton said while being mildly dumbfounded._

_"__Well, technically, she's adopted, but I treat her like she was my very own. She doesn't like to mention it much to the other soldiers. She doesn't like mixing personal family matters with work. She's quite a hard worker and a disciplined soldier; always making sure that when we work together in the base, she treats me as a superior first and a father second. I wouldn't have it any other way." Colonel Douglas explained as Axton and Eugene quietly listened. "Also, I heard about the naked fighting test between Sarah and you two. Gotta tell ya, it breaks my heart every time I see her being injured like that."_

_"__We are truly sorry for hurting your daughter, Sir! We meant her no harm and no disrespect!" Axton said nervously as he bows his head to the Colonel. "She told us that this was a test … and said it was okay and … and …"_

_"__Hmph, at ease, soldier. I'd expect that to happen. Sarah was kind of an innovator when it comes to motivating her troops. I try to be protective … even suggesting that she shouldn't join the military in order for her to be safe… but, at the same time, I also try to give her some freedom." Colonel Douglas said sentimentally. "To let her face challenges so that she could overcome them. To let her make her own decisions so that she could learn the consequences of the decisions she makes. The best way to protect her is to let her learn how to protect herself, right?"_

_Axton and Eugene both sigh in relief, knowing that Colonel Douglas can be understanding at times._

_"__But, if you dare hurt Sarah any other day, I will rip your spine out of your body and strangle you with it." Colonel Douglas said with a sudden impulse of intimidating anger. "Understand?"_

_"__SIR, YES SIR!" Axton and Eugene yelled loud and clear as they gave the Colonel a respectful salute._

_"__Good. Now, that's enough story-telling. Let's get back to the test. While the others are finishing their climbing, you two will …" Colonel Douglas paused his speech before pointing to a river at the far distance. " … swim across that river."_

_Axton and Eugene turned their heads to look at the river. It was an extremely wide river with a seemingly very strong current running towards a very large waterfall that will pretty much guarantee your death if you've managed to fall from it. Another death-defying challenge, another day at becoming a Commando, I guess._

_"__Heh, I expect no less." Eugene said as he wipes the sweat off his forehead before tapping Axton on the shoulder. "Hey, Ax. Race you to the other side. Loser buys the second round of beer." Eugene then proceeds to dash towards the river to complete his next challenge._

_"__Oh, no you don't!" Axton replied before dashing towards the same direction with Eugene._

_As Colonel Douglas saw the two rival candidates head towards a dangerous obstacle with ample optimism, he began to have a good feeling about this year's group of Commando candidates and couldn't help but display an anticipating smile. _

_"__Sarah, your choices have never ceased to amaze me." Colonel Douglas said to himself._

* * *

"Daaaaaaaaaaamn!" Tina said with exaggerated surprise. "This Douglas guy is the boss/baws right here, girl. Mm-hmm. Climb up a wall like it's no thang."

"This Colonel seems way too EXTREME to even exist within the K.C. Dynamo's realm of the existence of EXTREMENESS!" K.C. added. "But don't worry, Tina! I'll climb up a wall made out of knives, lava, and motion-sensor bombs for you ANYTIME!"

"Awwwww that's so sweet~. Come here~ *smooch* " Tina said with a cutesy tone before briefly kissing K.C. in the cheek, which makes K.C. blush a little.

"Wait, if he is Sarah's father, and Sarah is your ex-wife, doesn't that make him your ex-father-in-law?" Gaige questioned. "Wouldn't he be … I don't know … completely pissed off that you divorced his daughter and went AWOL from Dahl?"

"Oh, he's pissed alright." Eugene said smugly, which somehow makes Axton a little bit irritated for some reason. "In fact, if he wasn't busy being stationed on his post and having to manage the Dahl military, you can bet your ass that he'll come to Pandora to murder the hell out of Axton. In fact, when he got the news that I'm gonna come to Pandora, he explicitly told me to murder the sh*t out of Axton whenever I get the chance. I mean, I totally understand that he's mad, but come on, we're tighter than that, aren't we, Ax?"

" *Sigh* I did what I had to do, Eugene. You know that as well as I do. Dahl might not agree with my methods, but I sure as hell didn't regret them." Axton said with quiet determination.

"What exactly did you do that made Dahl so angry?" Lilith asked intriguingly.

"We'll get to that in a bit. But first, we need to get the other interesting side stories out of the way first." Eugene said smugly. "As you can see, the test of becoming a Commando is brutal. You climbs walls of rock, you swim rivers, you run across deserts for days without water, you walk through minefields with barbed-wires, you fist-fight each other in snowy sub-zero weather while naked … I could talk all day about it, but you get the gist. After all that, we finally became Commandos. We were so happy that we partied like there is no tomorrow. Then … there is the part … where I showed Axton over here … my manhood."

"Oh God …" Axton said with dismal as he pressed his hand against his forehead.

"Aww heck yeah! This gonna be skaglickin' good." Mama Jaws said excitedly as she licked her lips in anticipation.

"Lilith! Apply censorship on Tina's ears!" Maya said jokingly.

"Already on it!" Lilith replied with playful enthusiasm as she gently cupped Tina's ears.

"NOOOOO! CENSORSHIP!" Tina yelled in despair … also jokingly.

"It better be good and not like that popular but disappointing glorified-fanfic '50,000 Shades of Brown' or that other horrendously stupid depiction of vampire-human romance, 'Dusk and Dawn'." Gaige said excitedly. You can tell from the background that Patrick and Xiao Lan are already turning on their sound recorders and displaying smiles of devilish sly.

"Oh, I'm certain it'll be a crowd-pleaser. Where was I again? Oh yeah, it was a hot evening sun. We were both in the locker room, hot, naked and sweaty from the workout …" Eugene said with a mixture of smug and sexiness.

" *Sigh* Listen, it was a one-night stand. We did it a couple of times here and there. That was it." Axton said with a low-brow stare.

"It certainly doesn't feel like a one-night stand, Ax. You were really into it." Eugene said teasingly.

"Oh yeah? Well I would have also appreciated it if you didn't tell everyone about it in the battalion afterwards, down to the specific detail." Axton said with slight anger.

"So I like to do a little kiss-and-tell. There's nothing wrong with that. I like to tell and they like to listen, weirdly enough." Eugene said with no sense of guilt whatsoever.

"I was getting these weird looks from people all over the unit for months. It's one thing to enjoy sex. It's another to have the decency to keep your mouth shut about it." Axton said with increasing anger.

"So people giving you the vibes of disapproval. That don't bother me at all. Haters gonna hate." Eugene said smugly.

"You just don't get it! Gah! I give up …" Axton said frustratingly as he ruffled his hair in irritation towards Eugene.

"Pfft, should have given up a long time ago. I'm waitin' on hearin' the story here." Mama Jaws complained.

"Yeah, Axton, stop interrupting Eugene from telling his story on your intimate sexual acts with another man." Gaige said with slight impatience. "Go on, continue, please … I want every juicy detail."

"Heh, alright. As I was saying, it was a hot evening sun. We were both in the locker room, hot, naked, and sweaty from the workout …" Eugene said smugly before- … [static] … ! #$%^&amp;* …

[Error: We couldn't display content relating to two men having passionate sex on because people are pussy-maggot b*tch-ass motherf*ckers. Use your imagination to fill in the gap.]


	31. A Soldier's Sacrifice

**Author's Note****: Sorry, guys, for the late post. I know it's been over a month, but I got personal stuff to take care of. Also, in case, you were asking, Thanksgiving was great. There was a big turkey, I got wasted on champagne, and all that … oh wait, you're not asking? Uh … forget I said anything, then.**

* * *

Chapter 31: A Soldier's Sacrifice

" … and after that, we have to take a couple of minutes to … *chuckles* clean up. It was quite a mess. We have to shower for a second time afterwards." Eugene said smugly as he finished his story of sexual passion.

After Eugene finishes his story of sexual passion with Axton, there were several reactions among the crowd. Mama Jaws, Gaige, and Tina were having mental orgasms (mentgasms? orgasmental? orgasmentism? … yeah, I got nothing …) causing them to go into a trance where they smile dumbly and drool at the same time. Lilith and the others were simply weirded-out, like 'they just heard the plotline of one of those Japanese dating-sims' weirded-out. Some people just didn't react much at all. Oleg probably wasn't paying attention because he's drunk off his ass right now, even though, for some heck of a reason, his vodka bottle still isn't empty yet (Is it some sort of magical bottomless bottle, where there is a dimensional portal inside in which booze just flows out endlessly? I'm really not sure here.). Selena didn't even raise an eyebrow, probably because she's either an emotionless b*tch or a lesbian (probably both). Patrick and Xiao Lan give each other a high-five, knowing that they get to put this story on the ECHOnet and get tons of views, as well as assisting countless people in their long-thriving and tireless effort of jacking it (Admit it. You'd know you want to …). Axton … well, let's just say no amount of facepalming can demonstrate the amount of embarrassment he's going through right now.

"You done yet?" Axton said with a low-brow stare.

"Heck, I'm just getting started. I didn't even mention that time when we were doing it right on top of your lovely turret." Eugene said smugly.

"Oh my God, I'll never look at that turret the same way again." Gaige said with wide-eyed disbelief.

" *Sigh* and you wonder why I stop treating you and my friend-with-benefits." Axton said tiringly.

"Well, not until you get all lovey-dovey with Sarah. Man, that sure was one heck of a story of how you two finally hooked up." Eugene said smugly.

"Yeah, speaking of which, how did you and your Lieutenant ended up together?" Lilith asked.

"Well, it's kind of personal and it involves a secret Dahl mission that I can't disclose too much about-" Axton said with shifting eyes.

"Oh, blow it out your hole, it's all over the news at the time. It's no secret whatsoever. In fact, I can explain the story for you, at what happened at the Glass Marina." Eugene said smugly.

"Wait, did you say the Glass Marina?" Patrick said with surprise.

"Oh? So you heard about it as well." Eugene said as he turns his head to face Patrick.

"Oh course I have. I did a report on it when I was still a news anchorman. It was perhaps one of the most disastrous events involving one of the greatest technological innovations in history within the last decade." Patrick said sternly as he lightly adjusts his glasses. "I'm sure that anyone who has kept up with the news would have at least some knowledge of it."

"Oh yeah, I remember about the Glass Marina." Gaige said. "Man, back at the time, I always wanted to go into one of those just out of sheer curiosity. I'm always begging my parents to fork up the tremendous amount of cash just to go there and see for myself, which they didn't, which made me feel really disappointed. *Sigh* Then I heard that it got wrecked and a lot of people died and it made me feel kind of sad but also kind of lucky and grateful that I didn't went aboard on that glorified death-trap."

"Wait, I don't keep track of sh*tty galactic news. What's the big deal with this Glassy Marinated thing anyway?" Mama Jaws asked with confusion.

"Ah yes. For those of you who didn't know, the Glass Marina was basically a submarine cruise ship which got its first tour around 5 years ago. The idea was for regular civilian tourists to enjoy the luxury of a cruise ship while, at the same time, able to get a view of the beautiful unknown depths of the ocean. They are quite the hype topic within the last couple of years now." Patrick explained. "However, there are several limitations that hinder the enjoyment of vacationing on a submarine cruise ship, mostly because it's incredibly difficult to build a large vehicle capable of withstanding tremendous amounts of water pressure while still allowing a great view of the ocean floor. Because of that, many of the submarine cruise ships' exterior is made of mostly metal with small glass windows, which limits the view and therefore the enjoyment of underwater cruising. Glass Marina is a type of submarine cruise ship that seeks to change that by having the exterior made almost entirely out of reinforced glass, thereby allowing the entire view of the underwater environment to be seen."

"Holy skaglickin' bullymong balls! That sounds awesome! I would sure like to get in one of those." Mama Jaws said excitedly. "Me and mah midgets are gonna being runnin' around, looking at sea monsters up close and straight up torpedoing those suckas. Wonder what sex feels like in a glass n' metal sub-thingy underwater?"

"Uhh … I'm pretty sure it feels exactly the same as having sex on land." Gaige said while feeling a bit weirded-out.

"Did you have sex while inside a sub-thingy underwater?" Mama Jaws questioned Gaige. "If not, then how would you know? HMMMM?!"

"I … uh … never mind then." Gaige said with slight embarrassment.

"Yeah, that got me curious, Gaige. Are you a vir-?" Maya said with sly mockery.

"DON'T ASK!" Gaige said outrageously.

" *Clears throat* Back to the topic, the Glass Marina have great promise. The company who made it, the Triton corporation, promises that it will revolutionize the submarine cruise ship industry." Patrick continued. "A lot of wealthy and politically influential people were really anticipating on being the first to get on the Glass Marina. This event got so popular that various news media wouldn't shut up about it. Everyone had high hopes for it being the next big thing in underwater tourism. That is … until the incident that happened 5 years ago."

"Why? What happened?" Mama Jaws asked intriguingly.

"I believe the Commandos can fill in the gaps of the story for us." Patrick said as he focuses his gaze at the two soldiers of Dahl.

All the others in the bar slowly turn their heads toward the two Commandos as Eugene's and Axton's faces shift into sentimental sadness, hinting that it's an event they'll much rather forget.

"Yeah, something happened alright. Although, I really wished it didn't. It brought back a lot of painful memories, even when compared to regular Commando sh*t." Eugene said, replacing his signature smug attitude with a hint of seriousness.

" *Sigh* It all started out with a terrorist threat." Axton said with slight gloom. "A few days before the Glass Marina was about to make its first departure, Dahl received an anonymous tip warning of the threat that was about to happen. Because of that, Lieutenant Sarah and a Commando team, including Eugene and I, were tasked with undercover security in order to locate and neutralize the terrorist threat. That's when things got complicated …"

* * *

_It was a dark night on the planet of Poseidon. It was one of the few planets that is almost completely covered in water, hence it's appropriate name. Whatever land that is available is mostly taken by the Triton corporation as corporate property. At the outer edges of one of the few islands that Triton owns, there is a port where a few of Triton's employees were working on the final preparations of the Glass Marina before the big day of its debut. While the submarine cruise ship is currently stationed and surfaced on the port docks, the Glass Marina by itself is quite the sight, even by standard submarine cruise ships standards. Having a length of over 400 meters and over 250,000 gross tonnage, its existence is made even more extraordinary given that the exterior is almost completely made of clear transparent glass coupled with minimal steel reinforcements. It looks less like a typical submarine and more like an incredibly large oval-shaped bubble. It truly encapsulates one of the fantasies in the future of innovative technology. Only time will tell if reality could sustain expectations. In the meantime, inside the gigantic Glass Marina, two custodian workers were working quietly at the hallways of the living quarters before starting a conversation._

_"__Man, I could really use a beer right now." one of the workers said as he is mopping the tile floors. This worker is a Caucasian male who is strangely well-built to be a custodian worker._

_"__And I could really use a sandwich … with two hot studs clamping on one sexy chick, if you know what I mean." the other worker said smugly as he is vacuuming the carpet floors. This other worker is a black dude wearing red sunglasses … wait, why is he wearing red sunglasses at night? _

_"__Wait … seriously?" the first custodian worker said as he look at the second custodian worker with a raised eyebrow._

_"__Hey, you got your needs and I got mine. Besides, don't pretend you don't enjoy it as much as I do." the second custodian said flirtatiously, which only causes the first custodian worker to roll his eyes._

_[… *static* Stop having irrelevant conversations. You're supposed to be in disguise, remember?] a female voice suddenly spoke up within both of the custodian workers' hidden ECHO devices, which is kind of strange for custodian workers to have as they were doing their work._

_"__Sorry, Sarah, Won't happen again. If it does, I'll throw him overboard." the first custodian worker said jokingly._

_"__Aww, c'mon. That's cold, man." the second custodian worker replied, feeling slightly offended._

_[For your sake, I hope you are joking. Also, call me Lieutenant. How many times do I have to tell you that?] the female voice said with slight irritation._

_"__Well … is there any chance I can actually call you Sarah? Like with dinner, maybe?" the first custodian said with a rough attempt to be suave._

_[ *Sigh* Just focus on the mission. I'm signing out. *static* ] the female voice said tiringly before ending transmission, leaving the first custodian worker kind of disappointed._

_" __*Chuckes* Very smooth." the second custodian said mockingly while holding back his light laugh._

_"__Oh shut up." the first custodian worker replied irritatingly as they both boringly continue to do their work._

_Suddenly, a loud bang was heard in the far distance within the Glass Marina. The two custodian workers suspect that there was an explosion going on, so they follow the noise to the source. As they take a peek around the corner, they saw a group of suspicious-looking people entering the Glass Marina from the outside though a hole blown up on the glass exterior wall. These people are armed to the teeth with assault rifles and shotguns and are wearing black body armor vests over sand-yellow military garments and black face masks. One thing is clear; these guys are probably terrorists and are up to no good._

_"__Alright, we're in." one of the terrorists said over at the ECHO._

_[Good. Follow the plan accordingly and everything should go smoothly.] the responder over at the other side of the ECHO said. [Oh, and if you find any small packets of fish crackers lying around, pick them up for me, will you? Gotta say, the fish crackers on this ship are tasty. Eat them every day while I was working here. Too bad they don't sell them outside of this ship.]_

_" __*Sigh* Listen, dude, I'm not picking up those frickin' fish crackers for you, okay? We're here to f*ck up the Glass Marina, which is some serious tactical espionage sh*t. That mean no time for stupid errands like finding snacks for your lazy ass." the terrorist said irritatingly._

_[Alright, alright, fine, geez, don't have to be so uptight about it. You know the layout of the ship sent by me, so do your job and you'll get paid just as promised, alright?] the responder said._

_"__Sounds good. Meet you at rendezvous point." the terrorist said before ending the transmission. "Hmph, this is going to be cake-walk."_

_Suddenly, something whooshed over their heads and attaches itself at the ceiling. As the group of terrorists is alerted of the presence of that mysterious object, it got stuck to the wall and digistruct itself into … a Sabre Turret._

_"__What the hell …" one of the terrorists said before the turret turns its barrel towards the group of terrorists and starts shooting non-lethal Taser rounds at them._

_"__Oh sh*t! It's a frickin' turret!" one of the terrorists shouted as the group of terrorists tries to return fire but became stunned and fell down one by one as the turret fires. "What the f*ck is going on here?!"_

_"__Something's not right! We have to retreat!" another terrorist yelled as the rest of the terrorists head to another direction inside the ship to avoid the turret fire. That's when they were ambushed by someone as they turn the corner._

_*WHAM*_

_One of the terrorists went down on the ground as he got sucker-punched by one of the custodian workers. Almost immediately, the two custodian workers caught the group of terrorists off-guard as they swiftly and methodically disarm them and pummel them to the ground. Despite of superior numbers and heavily armed, they were taken down by the two unarmed custodian workers with ease._

_"__What … argh … you're not the custodian staff … " one of the terrorists said as he clutches his bruised abdominal muscles while he's lying down on the ground. " … who the hell are you guys?! …"_

_"__Heh, sorry to burst your bubble like that." the first custodian worker said as he took off his hat and jacket to reveal a military camo shirt underneath it, with a label on it reading 'Dahl'. This custodian worker is actually Axton in disguise. "But a Commando like me is not letting you ruining this lovely ship for everyone."_

_"__Well, with that kind of price tag on its tickets, I'm sure it's pretty much ruined for me. Not fancying in emptying my bank account just for a trip underwater in a giant glass bowl anyhow." the second custodian said smugly as he also took off his disguise to reveal the same military camo Dahl-brand shirt while, at the same time, taking out a comb to brush his neatly cut short afro hair. You guessed it! He's actually Eugene. "But who am I to judge the tastes of rich folk?"_

_" … __grr … f*ckin hell … we've been duped! …" the terrorist said grudgingly before lying on the ground unconscious._

_As Axton and Eugene rounded up and tied up the terrorists, Axton turned on his ECHO device to report back to his commanding officer._

_"__We're all good in Sector B. Not one bad guy escaped." Axton reported over on his ECHO device._

_[Good. Our other teams from A and C have also taken care of the adversaries and are now in the process of restraining them. Still haven't heard from the team on Sector D yet. In the meantime, stay alert until everything is cleared up.] Sarah said sternly._

_"__Guess that anonymous tip about the Glass Marina being sabotaged before the debut tour was right after all." Eugene added to the conversation. "Though, it does seem kind of strange for anyone to be doing this. Who the hell wants to blow up something like the Glass Marina?" _

_[The tip says that the mastermind of this operation was a disgruntled employee who was fired from the Glass Marina crew for pilfering packets of fish crackers from the ship.] Sarah replied._

_"__That's why it's so strange. I mean, no matter how much you hated your former employers, it seems a bit extreme to set up a terrorist attack on them like that." Eugene deducted. "Plus, from what I can tell, these mercs are packing some serious hardware, which means they don't come cheap. How the hell is that guy gonna pay for all their services? Something just doesn't add up."_

_"__Well, whatever's really going on here, I'm pretty sure our fellas here are going to tell us everything, aren't they?" Axton said confidently as he lightly kicked on one of the tied-up terrorists._

_[That will come later. But for now, let's round them all up first before we start the interrogation. We also need to make sure the mastermind doesn't escape. Otherwise, this will all be for nothing.] Sarah said sternly._

_"__Alright. Call us if you need us, Sarah." Axton said casually._

_"__For the last time, it's Lieutenant. I really hate repeating myself, sergeant." Sarah said with slight annoyance._

_"__How about I call you 'Hot, cute, and sexy' and we'll call it even." Axton said with such forced charm, it's cringe-worthy._

_[ … we'll speak of this later. Signing out.] Sarah said before ending her ECHO transmission._

_As Axton once again failed his attempt to woo his commanding officer, Axton lowered his head in disappointment while Eugene cackled mockingly. Meanwhile, as the Commando team is evenly distributed within the Glass Marina, Sarah is inside the Glass Marina's command room giving orders while being accompanied by her own Commando unit. Sarah was well aware of the usual tactics terrorists uses to reach their goals. Therefore, it is safe to say that this group will enter the Glass Marina at any possible forced-entry point, possible at multiple locations. It is best to catch the enemy by surprise by disguising as part of the worker crew so that they could create a more effective ambush. However, the Commandos shouldn't underestimate their opponents no matter what. There is always a possibility for failure and when that happens, you need to have a contingency plan ready._

_"__The team from Sector D is taking too long. Something is not right." Sarah mumbles to herself with concern as she attempts to contact the team from Sector D for confirmation. "Sector D, what's your status?"_

_[Lieutenant, we're in trouble here.] one of the soldiers from Sector D responded desperately. [The enemy team over here caught us off-guard with a couple of grenades and took some of the injured soldiers as hostages. There are others here who are badly injured. We need a medic evac team right now.]_

_"__Roget that, I'll send in a medic evac and reinforcements to your location right now. Stay put until then." Sarah said sternly. She then switch over the ECHO line into outer-command. "Outer-command, we got a team heavily injured. We need medic evac and reinforcements at this location."_

_[This is outer-command. We are sending a medic evac and reinforcements team right away. Over.] the outer command officer said before Sarah switches over to the ECHO line to the rest of the Commando team on-board._

_"__Listen up, team. We got a hostage situation with some of the team members of Sector D. Do not attempt to follow. I repeat. Do not attempt to follow. Your job is to secure the perimeter in case the remaining enemy group tries to escape. The center command team will seek out the hostages and rescue them. Remember to secure the perimeter. Signing out." Sarah said with an authoritative tone. She then round up all the Commandos within the command room to go out and seek out to rescue their fellow soldiers. "Alright, center command, let's go."_

_"__Lieutenant, I couldn't pick up the hostages' location over at the ECHO." one of the command team's soldiers said. "The enemy team must have destroyed the ECHO devices to prevent us from following them. If the enemy team have gotten into the Glass Marina, they could be anywhere on this ship by now."_

_"__Don't worry." Sarah replied reassuringly. "If these terrorists are as smart as I think they are, I know exactly where they're going."_

_Meanwhile, the remaining terrorist team is on the move within the Glass Marina as they are holding on several of the injured Commandos hostage. They are undoubtedly furiously panicking as to how the situation has shifted against their favor. Regardless, they are here to do their job and get paid, so they might as well get it done as quickly as possible._

_"__Damn it! Didn't know this ship had an ambush set up for us. If I would have known, I would have asked that fish-cracker-eating fatso to pay us double." one of the terrorists said frustratingly as he holds onto one of the hostages on one hand and a pistol on the other pointing at the hostage's head. "Whatever. After this, I'll definitely ask that fatso for extra payment. If he doesn't, he'll have to answer in front of the barrel of my gun."_

_"__You have no chance of escaping. Give up and you might not have to die." the hostage soldier said. One of his arms is broken from the previous grenade blast and considers that it's too risky to fight back. Regardless, he is confident that the rest of his team will rescue him and the other hostages. It part of the Dahl Commando's doctrine to leave no soldier behind._

_"__Shut up! You are not in a positon to make demands, you hear?" the infuriated terrorist said. "Once we blow up this frickin' ship, we're getting out of here and you're coming with us, in case your other pals want to try something funny."_

_As they continue to walk hastily within the Glass Marina, they have finally gotten to their destination: the engine room. This is perhaps the ideal place to destroy if they wish to sabotage this place. By overloading the fusion reactor and blowing up the various heat sinks, they'll essentially turn the entire power source into a bomb that will destroy the whole submarine for them. There are, however, several redundant safety systems in place, making one's attempt of sabotage less likely to be successful without the proper knowledge of the infrastructure. Good thing the one who hired the terrorist team knows pretty well how the system works, giving the terrorist team a more likely chance of success._

_"__Alright, we're here." one of the terrorists said as he and his team finally came to the engine room entrance. _

_However, as soon as they enter the room, they saw a brief glimpse of a small object being thrown in their vicinity. By the time they saw what it actually is-_

_*BAM*_

_A painfully bright flash blinded the group as a high-pitch noise causes tremendous disorientation. It was a flashbang. However, it was not the only thing that the terrorist feels. One by one, they were swiftly taken down by an assailant that approached them with her dual-wielding Dahl-standard issue tomahawks. That assailant is none other than Sarah. While only using the blunt end of the tomahawks, Sarah strikes at the group of disoriented terrorists with grace and efficiency. Bones were broken. Skin is bruised. Nuts were cracked. (Because if you mess with a badass like Sarah, you can guarantee she's gonna aim for the nuts.) The terrorists felt every strike. Within only a few brief seconds, the fight was over, and the terrorists were all incapacitated. Afterwards, Sarah's Commando team moves in to rescue their fellow injured soldiers and tie up the defeated terrorists. The mission was a success._

_"__Calling all team members on board." Sarah reported to her ECHO device. "The last enemy group has been captured. All clear."_

_With that, every soldier who heard the message was relieved. Axton and Eugene were particularly happy as they share a high-five handshake, knowing that their trust in Sarah's ability to command was not misplaced. Meanwhile, several miles from the Glass Marina, there is a person lurking in the shadows. That person is supposedly the same dude that is planning the terrorist attack. He is now patiently waiting at the rendezvous point, which is basically an abandoned warehouse, and his patience is running thin. Since he is obviously evil, you can bet your ass he is doing meticulous evil things that stereotypical villains are supposed to do, like … scratching his exposed fat belly and shoving a large amount of shrimp crackers in his mouth? Huh … guess he's not so stereotypical after all._

_"__Man, what is taking them so long?" the mastermind reveals himself as he steps into view. He is basically a Caucasian obese adult male with a balding hairline and messy beard stubble. He dresses in mediocre white T-shirt, unzipped blue jacket, blue jeans and tan leather boots. His T-shirt is dirty and stained, like it's not been in the laundry for a while now, and his belly is so big that a small part of it is exposed near the belt line. Also, he is sloppily eating a bag of shrimp crackers that has a kawaii-desu anime girl on it like it's some kind of promotional thing (at least, that's what I heard exist on typical bags of shrimp crackers … I don't eat a lot of shrimp crackers …) "I swear, if they are slacking off in that ship over there, I'm gonna deduct some of their payment. What do I even pay them for?"_

_However, as the mastermind was waiting in the warehouse munching on shrimp crackers, he heard the sound of an aircraft engine overhead. As he steps out, he was surprised to see a green military camo airship hovering in front of the warehouse. After that, he is scared to see a bright searchlight aiming at him and several Dahl soldiers rappelling down from the airship before giving chase at him with guns-toting. The mastermind freaked out as he realizes his plan was metaphorically flushed down the toilet. He tried to make a run for it, but pathetically tripped and fell down and was now being surrounded by the Dahl soldiers who are now restraining him right now. Also, as he tripped, he accidentally dropped his bag of shrimp crackers on the floor, making them too dirty to eat anymore (Well, unless you prefer to eat that off the floor anyway. Hey, I'm not judging.)._

_"__NOOOOOO!" the mastermind cried heartbrokenly as he stares at the dropped bag of shrimp crackers. "That was my last bag …"_

_As the mastermind is being restrained, he is then slowly approached by Lieutenant Sarah. The mastermind kneels down as he looks up to the firm-standing lieutenant with a mean look on her face._

_"__James Stevenson, you are hereby under arrest for masterminding a terrorist attack on the Glass Marina. We at the Dahl corporation are contracted by the Galactic Federation to take you down. If you have anything to say, save it for the interrogation." Lieutenant Sarah said sternly before Stevenson was being taken away._

* * *

"Holy skaglickin' balls! This story is makin' me hungry for some shrimp crackers!" Mama Jaws said out loud, which is responded by Axton's low-brow stare. "Never tried them before. Wonder how they taste like?"

"I'll see if I could make some for you." Monty said kindly as he proceeds to get up from his seat before being gently pulled on the cloak by Kazuki.

"Sit down, cowboy chef-san." Kazuki said elegantly, which prompt Monty to comply with a friendly smile.

"Damn, I want some of that shrimp crackers too, though I'm more into tea and crumpets myself.~" Tina blurted out with a mixture of gangsta speech and gentlemen's accent finesse. "Whatever, girl. Yo! Since yo' badass lieutenant got everythin' under control, what you need to worry about?"

"Well, it was only after the interrogation that sh*t went wrong." Eugene explained. "You see, at first we thought it was just a worker who got pissed being fired and wanted revenge, but things just don't add up. The reason behind it was flimsy and there's no way that a low-paying employee of Triton will have that kind of money to pay for the terrorist attack anyway. Even if he did, he'll much rather use that money to better improve his life or something. Sure, there is the possibility that he's just bat-sh*t insane, but from the looks of it at the time, that don't seem to be the case. So, after a couple of interrogations with the guy, we finally found out what's really going on …"

* * *

_Currently, Stevenson was now being held in an interrogation room in one of Dahl's HQ, with Lieutenant Sarah and an agent from the Galactic Federation. The Galactic Federation is basically the government with authority stretching out to the whole six galaxies. They are in charge of the general public safety and uphold the various laws established throughout the major parts of human settlements throughout intergalactic space and this incident with the Glass Marina is no exception. However, their military power is limited and would often outsource their security jobs to private contractors like Dahl, hence Dahl's involvement in this incident. The representative himself appears to be similar to a Man-in-Black, dressing in a typical black business suit, well-groomed hair, and generally formal demeanor._

_"__So, let me get this straight …" Lieutenant Sarah said sternly to Stevenson, the mastermind behind the terrorist plot. "You're saying that you actually don't want to seek revenge from the Triton corporation for firing you and that the whole thing was just a cover-up. What actually happened was an anonymous person contacted you and ordered you to set up a terrorist attack on the Glass Marina and that this person is going to pay you a tremendous amount of money for you and the terrorist team in return? You provide the knowledge of the layout of the Glass Marina and the terrorists do the grunt work. In other words, you claim you're not the actual mastermind of the plan."_

_"__Yeah, that's what I've been telling you, man." Stevenson said with desperation and nervousness in his voice. "That guy said that if everything goes well, I'll have so much cash I'll never have to work for the rest of my life. I don't know this guy by name and he only contacts me through the public ECHO network, so I don't know where he lives or what he looks like. This guy also said that if I ratted him out, he'll place a hit on me. At first, I don't want to say it, but now I've got no choice, man. You gotta believe me. Give men some witness protection or something."_

_"__He's obviously lying." the federal agent said with distrust. "He wants to pin it on some guy that doesn't exist so he could get less jail time. I've heard criminals use this plea tactic before. It won't work."_

_"__No, man! You gotta believe me. I mean, would you really believe that I would blow up an entire ship just to get revenge for being fired? This whole thing was a set-up, man. I swear." Stevenson said with whimper, as if to muster all his effort into gain pity from his interrogators._

_"__Well, whether we believe you or not is irrelevant. Save it for when you're in court. We're done here." Sarah said intimidatingly before leaving the interrogation room with the federal agent._

_"__Well, that was certainly productive." Sarah said sarcastically. "I'm not sure how much of that story I actually believe."_

_"__You caught the criminal and his gang of accomplices. That's all what matters now. We'll take it from here. How much time he gets inside will depend on the court, but I'm guessing attempted infrastructure sabotage and conspiracy will land him around 10-20 years for everyone who was involved." the federal agent said before offering Sarah a handshake. "Thank you for your cooperation, Lieutenant. Dahl sure knows how to get the job done."_

_"__Anytime." Sarah replied as she returned the handshake. With that, the federal agent walked away._

_Meanwhile, as the federal agent left, a Dahl soldier came by Lieutenant Sarah to give her a proper salute before reporting something to her._

_"__Lieutenant." the soldier saluted. "The CEO of Triton corporation, Mr. Rivers, and the CFO of Dahl's board of directors, Mr. Moore, are at your office right now and awaiting for your briefing."_

_"__Understood. I'll get there as soon as possible." Sarah replied before the solider was dismissed._

_Sarah then walks briefly through the hallways of the building before entering her office. Inside she sees two people already at their seats. The CEO of the Triton corporation, Mr. Simon Rivers, was short round Caucasian man with well-groomed gray hair and a curly mustache (MUSTACH- *the author just got punched in the face for being excited over mustaches way too many times* …) as well as wearing a ship's captain suit that is blue with yellow linings. Mr. Ethan Moore, the CFO of Dahl, looks pretty much like a Prince Charming in fairy tales, as he is a tall handsome Caucasian man with neatly slicked-back bright-blonde hair, charismatic silver-gray eyes, and a V-shaped soul patch on his chin. In addition to that, he is also wearing a pure-white business suit with a green tie. Overall, his looks will make most young women faint. However, once Sarah saw Ethan inside the office, she reacted with slight disgust, which means that she'll much rather not encounter him right now._

_"__Lieutenant Sarah Thompson." Ethan said with a typical slick charmer tone as he turns his head to see Sarah enter the room. "How nice of you to join us? Mr. Rivers and I were just talking about you. About how the mission of saving the Triton corporation most precious vessel was a complete success, all thanks to you."_

_"__Ah yes, Lieutenant. Thank you very much for stopping this threat. Otherwise, it would have been quite detrimental to the debut tour of the Glass Marina." Mr. Rivers added, with a hint of uneasiness in his voice._

_"__It was no problem at all. Besides, it was a team effort. If I don't have good men to follow my orders, the mission could easily have gone south. Members of my Commando team deserve every bit of credit as I do." Sarah said with her signature stoic tone of voice. "However, I find it quite odd how someone like Stevenson would have found such motivation to commit such an act. Are you sure that there isn't anything else going on between you and Stevenson that I'm not aware of, Mr. Rivers?"_

_"__Uh … of course not. Stevenson is a horrible worker when he is employed at the Glass Marina crew." Mr. Rivers said with a strange nervousness in his tone. "Always trying to take advantage of the worker's privileges and such. I should have fired him a long time ago. Heck, I shouldn't even have hired him. I should really be more considerate at hiring my employees."_

_"__Of course, Mr. Rivers." Sarah said calmly before carefully observing Mr. Rivers's nervousness and noticing that something is not right. "Are you okay, Mr. Rivers? You seem a bit uneasy. I thought you'll be relieved since we have caught the culprit of the attack."_

_Before Mr. Rivers get to say anything, Ethan patted on Mr. Rivers as a sign of assurance while also taking his place in speaking._

_"__Please, Lieutenant. Mr. Rivers has had a tough time with all this going on. Even with the culprit captured and minimal damage done to the ship, there is still going to be quite a bit of damage to the reputation of the Glass Marina." Ethan said charmingly. "The debut will certainly be delayed for a couple more days because of the repairs and Mr. Rivers himself had to deal with the press. That puts a lot of pressure on Mr. Rivers, hence why he's so stressed out right now. Isn't that right, Mr. Rivers?"_

_"__Uh … yes, of course. That's exactly it. Repairs, delays, and the reporters all buzzing over my ears. I couldn't get a day's rest, could I?" Mr. Rivers said with a hint of stress._

_"__Well, regardless, Stevenson will be handed to the Galactic Federation authorities and go on trial for his actions soon enough." Sarah said sternly before she bows politely to Mr. Rivers. "I wish you good luck on your grand opening of the Glass Marina, Mr. Rivers."_

_"__Uh … yes, and thank you too for saving my ship. I couldn't thank you enough for it." Mr. Rivers said before he walks out of the office, leaving Ethan and Sarah alone._

_"__Well, that was certainly delightful." Ethan said with his aristocratic tone. "Though, I think I could have been more delighted if you would have given me a couple more minutes with Mr. Rivers."_

_"__What are you doing here, Ethan?" Sarah said with a slight hint of anger towards Ethan. "This operation was a fairly routine mission. There is no need for you to get involved. Did the board of directors send you?"_

_"__I sure wish. They couldn't tell a coin from a dollar if it was placed right in front of their faces. And they dare call themselves businessmen." Ethan said with conceit. "No, I came here of my own volition. To discuss … certain financial issues regarding the mission."_

_"__What is there to discuss? We did the job, we get paid by the Feds, Triton corp gets to continue their event with less inconvenience." Sarah said sternly._

_"__Yeah, that's the thing. You are so generous with your offerings of your services that you don't look at the big picture." Ethan said with a sly smile. "You see, we get paid by the Feds, but that's miniscule compared to what Triton has in their deep pockets. Imagine if … with a bit of persuasion … that we get a service bonus from those deep pockets."_

_Sarah narrowed her eyes in suspicion before realizing what Ethan is implying. Ethan is trying to squeeze some extra expenses from Triton._

_"__You wouldn't …" Sarah said with hidden anger._

_"__Hear me out, Lieutenant. I mean, it's only reasonable that the one who benefits the most from our services should be the ones forking up the cash to pay for it." Ethan said slyly. "It's not like I'm doing anything illegal here, Sarah."_

_"__For your information, Triton corp didn't ask for our services. We got the tip and have the Feds' authorization to only act as security as a precaution. This was a federation job and should only be paid by the federation." Sarah said with slight anger._

_"__But it worked out for the best, didn't it?" Ethan said with feigning innocence. "I mean, you caught the bad guys and saved Triton corp from trillions of potential damage costs for that fish bowl of a submarine. I'm just making sure you and your team gets adequately paid, that's all."_

_"__Is that really your true purpose?" Sarah asked with hidden anger. "Or are you just here to fatten your own wallet?"_

_"__Whether you see it or not, I'm on your side. We just have different methods, but we ultimately work for the same goal. Your method is dish out bullets, my method is to take in the money. As the old saying goes: 'Money makes the Milky Way spiral. "_

_"__Is that the excuse you used to convince the board to pull out Dahl's troops from war-torn and poverty-stricken communities and redeploy them to protecting wealthy businessmen and politicians?" Sarah said with an angry glare._

_"__Hey, let's be honest here. Those 'peace-keeping' deployments are good for publicity and all, but it's just draining out too much of our expenses." Ethan said. "Also, you seem to forget that we are not a charity organization. We are a private military. Making money should always come first."_

_"__I'm done talking to you." Sarah said angrily before she proceeds to briskly walk out of the office when she is being halted by Ethan._

_"__Wooh, hey there. I haven't finished talking. Don't be in such a rush yet." Ethan said with sly charisma. "Now, I did try to negotiate Mr. Rivers for a payment, but he seems to be stingier with his money than usual for some reason. Can't understand why someone as rich as him would be such a cheapskate. The point is, although I didn't get any extra payment from him, I did get myself some free tickets to the Glass Marina on the day of its debut. I heard it'll be quite a luxurious party. Full of high-class food, wine, and music, just the way I like it. How about that, huh? Just you … and me … under the ocean surrounded by the beautiful depths of the ocean." _

_"__I'll much rather drown." Sarah joked sternly with a low-brow stare._

_"__My, my, you are a bleak one, aren't you? Playing hard to catch? I like the challenge." Ethan said with his pretentious charm, which makes Sarah wanted to vomit a little. _

_" __*Sigh* You aren't going to stop bugging me about it, are you?" Sarah said with slight gloom. "Fine, I'll go with you on the Glass Marina, but only under one condition."_

* * *

"Man! That Ethan guy sounds like a douche!" K.C. said loudly. "To the EXTREME!"

"Seeing as how he is basically the manager of Dahl's entire finances, I'm honestly not surprised." Patrick said sternly as he adjusts his glasses. "It is basically his job to look out for opportunities that tend to make Dahl the most money, even if it might sometimes skim the line of morality. It certainly makes the most sense to the board of directors at the time as well. I heard of Dahl's financial stability a couple of years ago was … not as stable as it used to be, especially with the investment failures that took place in several of the Borderland planets which involves mining valuable resources and seeking the remnants of advanced alien technology. I believe Pandora was one of them."

"Hmph, no wonder everywhere ya see in Pandora, it has Dahl written all over it." Mama Jaws noted. "The toolboxes are from Dahl, the garbage bins are from Dahl … heck, there's a piece of the Headlands that has Dahl's name on it. I believe that some of mah man-fellas used to be convict miners from Dahl as well."

"Esto es indignante! (This is outrageous!) I always hated Dahl's occupation of Pandora. They are the reason why the bandit population on this planet is so gigante!" Salvador said angrily. "They even have the nerve to just pack their things and leave without taking the convicts with them, which cause them to turn into bandits. It's ridiculous!"

"Well, Dahl did fund the development of a lot of infrastructure that you guys practically use here everyday." Eugene said smugly. "I believe the very mining ship your 'Sanctuary' is built on is also from Dahl. So, I guess, you win some, you lose some." As Eugene shrugged, it made Salvador gritted his teeth, knowing that he made quite a fair point.

"This doesn't excuse the damage that Dahl had left behind." Axton said as he glares at Eugene. "I've seen things on this planet … things that Dahl turned a blind eye from … things that could have been different if Dahl wasn't as obsessed with making money."

" *Sigh* Axton, Axton, Axton, always the solider with goody two-shoes conscience. Why don't you just continue the story for the rest of the audience?" Eugene said smugly as he shakes his head in response to Axton's idealism.

"Gladly." Axton said. "So this Ethan guy is driving my ex-wife crazy with his horrible flirting attempts. Sarah finally agreed to go onboard the classy submarine with him, but with one condition. Gotta say, I almost laughed out loud when I first heard about it as well …"

* * *

_Tonight was the big night that the Glass Marina began its debut. Within the multiple rooms and hallways is the high-class environment that you often see wealthy and influential people hang around. The lights are bright golden, the carpet floors are red, and the tables are full of wine glasses and culinary delicacies. People from all around the galaxy are here to enjoy what could be a game-changer in tourism, so it'll only make sense that they would not miss this chance to come enjoy a monumental moment in history. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves as they socialize in the dining hall … except for the one who made this all possible, Mr. Rivers._

_" __*Sigh* …" Mr. Rivers was standing in the middle of all the joyful commotion with a glass of wine in his hands as he acts as both an overseer to this whole event and a tourist of his own cruise ship. However, he seems a bit uneasy even with everything going pretty smoothly after the big terrorist event. As he nervously and bashfully gulps down his wine, he is greeted by someone approaching him in a polite manner._

_"__My dear, are you alright?" this women who greeted Mr. Rivers with a sense of gentle familiarity was around the same age as Mr. Rivers himself, yet was quite beautiful by her own right. She has soft white skin, glossy ginger hair styled into the shape of a bouquet, and wears a beautiful red dress suitable for high-class parties. But behind her elegance, she also showed a hint of affectionate concern towards Mr. Rivers, similar to that of a guardian angel. Even Mr. Rivers himself, who seems mysteriously troubled, couldn't help but put on a brave smile for this woman._

_"__I'm alright, my wife." Mr. Rivers said softly as he puts down his empty wine glass in order to pull in his wife for a gentle hug and a kiss in the cheek. "You look lovely today, Bertha."_

_"__Poor Simon." Bertha said kindly as she lays a gentle hand on her husband's cheek. "Has the recent events been troubling you? I told you before that it's going to be alright. See? Everyone is enjoying themselves now. You need to learn to relax, dear."_

_"__Yes, my love. I'll keep that in mind." Mr. Rivers said reassuringly, feeling that his stress is almost washed away by his wife's caring words. Mr. Rivers then take a look around the dining hall to see a special guest arriving, which prompts him to greet this guest. "Looks like our special guest has arrived. Would you kindly accompany me, my love?" Mr. Rivers then offers his hand to his wife._

_"__Gladly." Bertha said with a soft smile as she curls her arms around his. _

_They then walk towards the special guest who has arrived at the dining hall. The special guest with his signature white suit, green tie, and charming looks. The special guest is none other than … Mr. Ethan Moore._

_"__My, my, if it isn't the owner of this wonderful piece of art and technology combined." Ethan said with glamour as he shakes Mr. Rivers's hand before focusing his attention on Mr. Rivers's wife Bertha. "This must be the lovely Mrs. Rivers. It's a pleasure to meet you." Ethan then proceeds to act gentlemanly by taking Bertha's white-gloved hand and giving it a light kiss in the knuckles. _

_"__The pleasure is all mine." Bertha replied politely. "You must be Mr. Moore from the Dahl corporation. My husband has told me about you. I am truly thankful of what your corporation has done for us. I couldn't imagine what the damage would be if you haven't provided us with your support." _

_"__Oh please, the moment we let some measly terrorist-amateurs do whatever they want is the moment when I spell my name backwards. Besides, I could hardly take all of the credit." Ethan said charmingly._

_"__Speaking of which, where is the Lieutenant? I thought she was supposed to be here to accompany you tonight." Mr. Rivers asked curiously as he looked around._

_"__Oh, she's running a little late, but she'll be here." Ethan said charismatically. "Got to say, you have certainly outdone yourself here, Mr. Rivers. You got a titanic cruise ship and you've got a beautiful woman to accompany you in this lovely journey. Honestly, this is like a James Cameron movie coming true."_

_"__Didn't the ship sank at the end of that movie?" Mr. Rivers pointed out. _

_"__Oops …" Ethan said before briefly covering his mouth as if said something inappropriate. "I apologize for the reference. I certainly don't want to jinx it. Surely, nothing could go wrong within this state-of-the-art cruise submarine."_

_"__Man! Can't believe I once pretended to mop the floors in this ship." someone spoke out loud behind Ethan. Ethan's face immediately turns sour as he turns around to see that it is none other than Axton, the Dahl Commando. He is wearing a black suit and tie, but his mannerisms are not as high-class as the people around him. There seems to be a bunch of other people around him that are wearing the similar suit-and-tie arrangement, so it could be safely assumed that they are all in a group._

_"__Heh, enjoy it while you can, Ax." another person next to him said, which was none other than Eugene wearing the similar black suit and tie. He is also wearing his signature crimson-red sunglasses and doing his signature habitual move of combing his short afro hair. "Because you can bet your ass that you'll never get a chance onboard something this classy ever again … unless you became a trillionaire in the future. Remember to give me half of everything you own once you became rich … cuz, you know … as an appreciation to your fellow friend."_

_"__Yeah, well, then I'm glad that the Lieutenant has offered the entire Commando team a trip onboard this ship." Axton said excitedly as he took a wineglass and casually drink from it. "That Mr. Moore thinks he could singly-handedly charm the Lieutenant into coming aboard the Glass Marina with him and have all the fun to himself. Good thing the Lieutenant was smart enough to force him to bring us along for the ride. Man, I would love to see the look on Ethan's face once the Lieutenant tricked him into agreeing to all of this."_

_"__I'm right here, you know." Ethan said irritatingly as he approaches Axton and Eugene._

_"__Oh hey, look who came here with us." Axton said with minor sarcasm. "The money-man of Dahl, showing off his pizzazz. So, tired of stealing food from other people's mouths yet?"_

_"__You know I'm the one managing all of Dahl's finances, right?" Ethan said with hidden irritation. "I'm basically the guy who pays you."_

_"__Yeah, and I'm the guy who risks his life getting shot at so you could get paid by someone else. What's your point?" Axton said rebelliously._

_" __*Sigh* Just try to act appropriate and not cause any trouble while you're here, Commando." Ethan said as he facepalmed. "I could care less about your own image, but I don't want you tarnishing Dahl's reputation along with it."_

_"__Oh, don't you worry, Mr. Moore. I always bring my A-game when it comes to acting appropriate." Eugene said smugly as he puts away his comb. "Axton, on the other hand … well, I'm not so sure."_

_"__Eugene!" Axton said with gritted anger in response to his friend's joking insult._

_"__Hey, the Lieutenant and Colonel are here." someone said out loud, causing Axton, Eugene, and Ethan to focus their attention towards the general direction that the group is pointing at. Indeed, it was Lieutenant Sarah and Colonel Douglas walking briskly towards them._

_Colonel Douglas was wearing a formal black military uniform with badges and a sash and everything. Lieutenant Sarah was right beside her father as she curls her arms around his arms to accompany him. However, the way the Sarah dresses is quite noteworthy. Her hair was let down to allow it to demonstrate its beautifully wavy shape and luster. Her earrings were in the shape of small silver stars. Her face was practically glowing with moderate make-up and pink lipstick. Her party dress was … patterned with a military green camouflage, with its length dragging all the way down to her legs. As for her footwear, those were not heels … those were black military boots. Although some could say that the way Lieutenant Sarah dresses is unconventional, everyone could agree that it looks magnificent. _

_"__Hey there, Colonel. Lieutenant. Nice to see you finally came to the party." Axton said casually._

_"__Pussy-ass maggot! Is that any way to talk to your superior officer?!" Colonel Douglas said with his signature boot-camp voice._

_"__Uh … I mean … Sir, no sir! I meant no disrespect, Sir!" Axton said as he saluted, rapidly changing his tone to a more soldierly one._

_" … __Pfft hahahahaha! At ease, soldier. I'm just toying with you." Colonel Douglas laughed, suddenly shifting to a jollier demeanor, which caused Axton to raise his eyebrow a little._

_"__My dad likes to joke around with the soldier talk, even when he's off work." Sarah said sternly. "Technically, you are all off-duty, so you don't need to be so formal. Just relax."_

_"__Oh … uh … ok, Lieutenant … uh, I mean, Sarah." Axton said with an embarrassed smile._

_"__You still need to call me Lieutenant, though. I'm not used to anyone other than my dad calling me Sarah." Sarah said sternly with a warning glare._

_"__Umm … ok, Lieutenant, whatever you say." Axton said disappointingly, knowing that his relationship with his Lieutenant has not grown closer even one bit._

_As Axton and Eugene walks off, Colonel Douglas and Lieutenant Sarah were approached by Ethan._

_"__Hello, Colonel. What a lovely evening we're having. So great of you to join us." Ethan said with his usual charm._

_"__Hello, Ethan. Nice to see you as well. Although, I'll much rather not smell the toxic stench of money whenever I'm around you. I'll much rather take a field of bouncing betties and barbed wires anytime." Colonel Douglas said with hidden mockery clearly directed towards Ethan, which makes Ethan even more pissed off. Colonel Douglas and Ethan didn't see eye to eye on most things while working together under the Dahl corporation, so it's not a surprise that they hated each other's guts._

_"__Dad, no need to stress yourself too much." Sarah said with a caring tone that is strangely different from what she used to talk to her subordinate soldiers. "Go on and socialize with the others. I'll be right behind you."_

_"__If you say so, Sarah." Colonel Douglas said with a warm smile before walking off, leaving Sarah alone with Ethan. Sarah stares at Ethan with indifference while Ethan looks at Sarah with quite the opposite of indifference._

_"__Well, aren't you the eye-catcher?" Ethan said while displaying signs that he is quite impressed with the look. "Got to say, that look fits you like a glove. You should wear it more often."_

_"__Save the pleasantries, Ethan." Sarah replied stoically. "I'm not wearing this so you could drool all over it."_

_"__Woah woah woah, is that how you talk to the person who got you and your friends onto this magnificent ride?" Ethan said._

_"__For you information, you asked me to come here. If given the choice, I wouldn't be here at all. This is not my kind of scene." Sarah said as she looked around to observe the surroundings that are perhaps too refined for her tastes._

_"__Well, your Commando team and your dad seem to be enjoying themselves They are pretty much getting VIP treatment from this ship because of me, and that is not something that they can ever afford with their kind of pay grade." Ethan said with his pretentious charm. "Let's face it, you own me a favor."_

_"__In that case, you owe me a favor for me not punching you in the face every time I see it." Sarah said with mild disgust as she attempts to walk away from Ethan, before Ethan halting her briefly afterwards by grabbing onto her shoulder._

_"__Woah, hey, beautiful, where are you going? Don't I at least get a dance?" Ethan said with forcing charisma._

_"__I promise my first dance to be with my dad." Sarah said sternly. "Now, if you excuse me –" Sarah then rapidly grabbed onto Ethan's hand that is on her shoulder and briefly twist it, causing Ethan to flinch in pain and allowing Sarah to walk away. Besides being slightly in pain, Ethan is also even more ticked off that his flirting attempts have been repeatedly failing on Sarah. Ethan has no trouble charming other women in the past, so he sees Sarah's reaction towards him as quite unusual. Regardless, Ethan is as stubborn as he is greedy and he won't stop until he gets what he wants, whether it's money or women._

_Meanwhile, as Sarah and the Colonel are delightfully waltzing at the center of the dining hall, Axton and Eugene are at the bar, chatting amongst themselves. Eugene saw how Axton's eyes rarely left his focus from Sarah and couldn't help but chuckle at Axton's helplessness while he is being mesmerized by the lieutenant. _

_"__If you really want another go with her, now's the best time." Eugene said smugly as he takes a sip from his bourbon on the rocks. "I mean, the atmosphere around here is just excellent for this sort of thing. You'll probably never have another chance like this again."_

_" __*Sigh* You think I haven't considered it? I've given her the signal so many times before. Maybe she really isn't interested in me." Axton sighed in mild gloom. "It's best not to ruin this night for her. Let her just enjoy the cruise without me bugging her, you know."_

_"__Oh, how very considerate of you, Axton. I wonder if someone else has the same intentions." Eugene said smugly as he focuses his attention on Ethan at a distance, which allows Axton to catch the hint._

_"__That guy? He'll have even less of a chance with the Lieutenant. I mean, c'mon, even someone who is blind wouldn't pick a guy like that asshole." Axton said with mild outrage._

_"__I wouldn't be so sure about that. You know what they say. Persistence. Persistence." Eugene said smugly._

_"__I don't have to listen to you. Just let me at least enjoy this cruise in peace, alright?" Axton said as he gulps down his glass of whiskey._

_"__Heh, whatever you say. As long as you know for sure that you're not gonna regret the decisions you make right now, who am I to stop you?" Eugene said smugly._

_While Axton and Eugene are enjoying their drinks, Sarah and her father are having a conversation while they were dancing. Although Sarah does look elegant, she maintains the same stoic expression that she always does in front of her soldiers. The Colonel knows that being around the military for so long, it is hard to relax and let your guard down, even when you know that you need to relax from time to time to relieve some stress. Regardless, he sees her daughter breaking out of her shell for once and couldn't help but display a gentle smile._

_"__Dad? Why are you smiling like that?" Sarah said with a gentle and more familiar tone than usual._

_"__Oh nothing. It's just … you look extraordinarily beautiful tonight, my daughter. You kinda remind me of your mother." Colonel Douglas said with a matching gentle tone, which makes Sarah blush a little._

_"__Dad … you know I could never be as beautiful as Mom. Besides, we're not even blood-related, so it's not like I inherited my looks from her." Sarah said softly._

_"__Well, that's true. But you'll always have a place in my heart, just like your mother. Besides, you shouldn't try to sell yourself short. You are a beautiful woman by your own right. If your mother were here to see this, she'll be proud." Colonel Douglas said gently, which is responded by Sarah's small flattering smile. "However, she might still be a little bit disappointed by you."_

_"__What do you mean?" Sarah asked curiously._

_"__I mean, it's not everyday that you get to be on vacation like this. You almost never took a day off, even when it's a paid-leave. Let's face it, you're overworking." Colonel Douglas said gently._

_"__No, I'm not, Dad. Stop treating me like a child." Sarah said with mild annoyance._

_"__Why haven't I even seen you socialize much outside of work or … date anyone? Maybe bring someone home for a change." Colonel Douglas said, now leaning on being more hysterical._

_"__I'll rather not bother with stuff like that. Most people wouldn't understand … you know … me being in the military and all." Sarah said softly as she tries to look away from the Colonel. _

_"__What about other military grunts? Maybe even someone from Dahl." Colonel Douglas said jokingly. _

_"__Gee, I don't know. Some people I know from Dahl are real scoundrels. Take white-suit-and-green-tie over there." Sarah said sarcastically as she focuses his eyes on Ethan, hinting that he is what she is talking about._

_"__Ethan?! I'll rather stick a grenade in his butt-hole and kick him off the chopper so that the sharks can eat him and let him blow up at the same time than to let him get near you. Hmph!" Colonel Douglas said with mild disgust. "No, I'm talking about someone else. There's got to be someone else who is interested in you that is not an ass-kisser like Ethan."_

_"__Well … there is one guy who's been showing some interest in me, even though he's kind of annoying sometimes. He's a Commando." Sarah said with wavering doubt. "His name is Axton. In fact, he's right over there at the bar."_

_"__Axton? I know that guy. He's a cocky son of a gun, but he's a good soldier. I don't know if he's good enough to suit my lovely Sarah." Colonel Douglas said as he glared at Axton from a distance._

_"__Please, dad. I'm capable of making my own decisions." Sarah said with mild annoyance of her dad's overprotectiveness. "Besides, it'll never work. I'm his commanding officer. It'll be too awkward anyway."_

_"__Well, if you two have the chemistry, you shouldn't really let that bother you." Colonel Douglas replied._

_"__Dad …" Sarah said softly._

_"__Listen, Sarah, my lovely daughter. I love you, and we both know that I'll always be there for you for as long as I live. But you have a tough heart. So tough that it's difficult for you to be soft when you need to be." Colonel Douglas said gently. "Maybe it comes with being a soldier for so long, but you got to ease up a little. I mean, there is no shame in lying on someone else's back once in a while. Trust me when I say you can be soft sometimes and still be an effective soldier."_

_" … __is that what mom taught you when you two met? It's sounds kind of sappy to be coming out of your mouth." Sarah said with a raised eyebrow._

_"__Hmph, of course. How else would we end up together? She's as good as fixing up the wounds of soldiers on the battlefield as she is with being a good wife." Colonel Douglas said. "How else would I have fell in love with her?"_

_"__I'll keep that in mind, dad." Sarah said softly._

_"__Ok then, I think that it's my turn that I get to have my moment with the lady." Ethan interrupted abruptly._

_Just when the father-daughter pair was having a moment, Ethan approached them and maneuvers between so that he could get Sarah's attention. Both Sarah and the Colonel consider it very rude, but Ethan doesn't seem to care. In fact, if Sarah wasn't holding back the Colonel, the Colonel would probably have ripped Ethan's head off by now. _

_"__Come on, now. I think it's not within mannerisms to keep a gentleman waiting." Ethan said with his weasel-like charms as he sneakily wraps his arms around Sarah's waist and grab hold onto one of Sarah's hands, much to Sarah's surprise and discomfort. Now, Sarah is the one who wants to rip Ethan's head off._

_"__Looks like the one who isn't within mannerisms is you, Ethan." Sarah said with hidden disgust._

_Sarah thinks Ethan is getting too close for comfort, as Ethan's hand is dangerously approaching Sarah's butt. Sarah tries to shake off Ethan's grasp but couldn't. She could just straight-up push Ethan away and slap him in the face, but that will cause a commotion. Sarah has also noticed that the Colonel is red-in-the-face angry, but she gave him nonverbal cues to not to start a fight over this and that she can handle it. Meanwhile, Axton and Eugene were looking from afar at what's going on, and it is making Axton's blood boil._

_"__Alright, that's it." Axton said angrily as he walks up to Sarah and Ethan with a glass of red wine on his hand._

_Axton wants to break Sarah away from Ethan, but knows well enough not to cause a commotion like Sarah intended. So he thought of the next best thing. Axton pretends to lose balance while holding the glass of red wine on his hand so that it conveniently spills on Ethan's suit. Ethan reacted with shock, knowing that his perfectly white suit is ruined, and instinctively let go of Sarah. _

_"__Oh, I'm soooo sorry." Axton said with a fake apology as he took out a towel. "Here, let me wipe it off for you."_

_"__Get away, you philistine! Do you know how expensive this suit is?! Also, it's not machine-washable!" Ethan scolded outrageously at Axton._

_"__Well, in that case, you should really hurry to the washroom or something. I heard these types of fabric get stained pretty easily. Don't want them to be permanent." Axton said with a mocking apologetic tone. Ethan could get the sense that Axton did this on purpose to get him away from Sarah, but he couldn't do anything about it right now._

_"__This isn't over." Ethan sneered as he points an incriminating finger at Axton before rushing towards the washroom._

_After that ordeal, Axton couldn't help but display a proud smile as he looked back to face Sarah, who was mildly shocked of what Axton did. Even the Colonel had let out a hearty laugh, knowing the Ethan basically got what he deserved. Eugene, who was watching from the sidelines, responded with a hidden laugh in response to how bold (or stupid) Axton's actions were. _

_"__Ahahahaha! Son, you might be a pussy-ass maggot, but you got more balls than some armies I've seen on the battlefield." Colonel Douglas patted Axton in the back as he laughs so hard, he's almost let out tears._

_"__Well, it was my pleasure, Colonel. I wouldn't stand here and do nothing when I saw what happened. I mean … who would?" Axton said flatteringly._

_"__I didn't need your help, you know." Sarah said sternly, which caused Axton and the Colonel to reduce to frozen silence. "What you did was unnecessary."_

_"__Oh … uh … sorry, I guess. I'm not saying you couldn't handle the situation on your own. It's just …" Axton said, suddenly draining of confidence due to Sarah's words._

_"__Hey, Sarah, don't be so hard on him. I probably would have done much worse to that boot-kisser if he hadn't shown up." Colonel Douglas said as he patted Axton on the back as reassurance. "You know what, I think I'm gonna get myself a drink. I'll leave you two alone for a while." Colonel Douglas then walked off to the distance, leaving Sarah and Axton alone in the middle of the dancing floor._

_All the confidence Axton is getting up until this point has suddenly vanished, as he is now filled with shame. Axton has known the Lieutenant for several years now and knew that she is not one who could be pleased easily. However, the way she glares at Axton was simply disheartening. It's like instead of being the hero that saves the day, he is suddenly seen as the one at fault here._

_"__Uh … sorry for ruining your day, Lieutenant." Axton said with depressing tone as his head is lowered and he is rubbing his neck to indicate his shame. "I guess I'll be going the other way then."_

_Sarah initially feels mild contempt for Axton treating her like a damsel-in-distress. She's his commanding officer for, god's sakes. How could he have not known that she would be able to handle the situation herself. However, gradually she starts to understand Axton's intentions. It is out of a kind heart and great concern towards her. However stupid it may be, Axton is not to be blamed and Sarah is starting to feel regret for shunning Axton like that._

_"__Hey …" Sarah said with a more gentle tone as Axton was about to walk away. This sudden response caused Axton to turn his head to face Sarah. " … it is rude for a gentleman to meet a lady and not ask her for a dance."_

_Axton now went from disheartening to gleeful surprise. Sarah is implying him to ask her for a dance. Is she joking around, trying to tug on his heartstring just to toy with him? No. Sarah is not the type of woman to joke around like that. Axton can tell from Sarah's eyes that she's serious._

_"__Well … uh, I wouldn't know if that lady would accept it. Clearly, she is way out of my league." Axton said with mild blushing._

_"__Just ask me to dance, Axton. I don't like beating around the bush." Sarah said with a low-brow stare._

_"__Um … alright, sir … I mean, ma'am … uh, lieutenant …" Axton said with mild stuttering before he regain his composure a little bit more and offer his hand to Sarah. " *Clears throat* may I have the honor to have this dance with you … Lieutenant?"_

_Sarah gently takes his hand and displays a small but genuine smile. Axton eyes have widened with delight as he saw Sarah's smile. For all his time working under the lieutenant, it is rare to see his lieutenant smile. Therefore, the smile that he is seeing right now has sort of a strange but alluring beauty to it. Axton saw his dance partner smile and couldn't help but smile back._

_"__It'll be my pleasure … Sergeant." Sarah said gently as she takes Axton's hand._

_As Axton and Sarah hold hands together to pleasantly waltz at the dancing floor, they couldn't help but stare at each other with a sense of tranquility. As being amongst war as a day job for so long, tranquility is a simple but rare pleasure. Words don't need to be exchanged for Axton and Sarah to know that they are enjoying each other's company quite nicely. _

_"__Got to say …" Sarah said gently. "… I wouldn't take you for a guy who uses tricks like that. A glass of red wine on an expensive suit? Seriously?"_

_"__Well, sometimes, you got to use unconventional tactics to gain the upper hand. I learn that from you. And I only learn from the best." Axton said with mild pride._

_"__Brown-noser." Sarah said playfully._

_"__Hey, I'm not trying to say that to get your affection or anything. I'm just saying it because … well, it's the truth." Axton said, trying to be convincing._

_"__If that's the case, tell me the truth then." Sarah said. "What do you think of my outfit?"_

_Axton looked at Sarah from head to toe before making a final judgement. "… Horrible."_

_Sarah responded with a chuckle, as if not offended by that comment at all. "Finally, someone agrees with me."_

_"__Yeah, I would have thought that a green camo dress and black boots isn't something anyone would wear to a party like this." Axton added._

_"__I did it on purpose, you know. I hate wearing heels. They hurt my feet and hinder my movement. I'll never understand why other women would prefer them over regular shoes. As for the camo dress … well, let's just say that it's within a soldier's routine to conceal themselves and blend in with the environment. I guess old habits die hard." Sarah said._

_"__I wouldn't say you are exactly blending in to the party." Axton said playfully._

_"__I guess I'm just a fish out of water." Sarah replied._

_"__That is kind of funny, considering we're actually underwater." Axton joked._

_"__Keep up that smart-ass talk and I might just throw you off this ship." Sarah said with a more serious tone, which causes Axton to stiffen up a little, before returning to a more friendly tone. "I'm just joking. I'll much rather throw Ethan off-board first."_

_"__Yeah, speaking of which, what is your deal with him anyway?" Axton questioned. "I know he's a guy who would sell his soul to the devil for a thousand bucks and buy it back for a hundred. But there seems to be more going on between you two."_

_"__I could say the same thing between you and Sergeant Eugene." Sarah said sternly. "I've heard rumors that you two were quite … intimate."_

_"__Woah, hey, there is nothing going on between us. Sure, we may have hooked up a couple of times, but that's over now. We are now just good friends and only friends. That's it." Axton said, trying to be convincing._

_"__I bet that you say that to all the girls you flirt with … or guys." Sarah said sternly with mild doubt._

_"__Stop dodging the question, Lieutenant." Axton said annoyingly._

_" __*Sigh* Ethan Moore. Basically the top financial manager of Dahl. You may know him as the cocky greedy asshole with a nose for profits, but you do not hate him like I do." Sarah said grimly._

_"__In that case, why did you agree to go to this party with him?" Axton asked._

_"__He wouldn't shut up about it. So I might as well take advantage of a bad situation and let the others enjoy the break that I was offered. These soldiers … they need to relax from time to time. They deserve the break, perhaps more than I do." Sarah said as she looked around to observe how her Commandos were all enjoying the party._

_"__Maybe that's true, but from my perspective as a Commando, these guys wouldn't take the offer if their commander doesn't enjoy it as well as they do. You know you don't have to let that guy push you around. We work together in life-and-death situations, so we should look out for each other. The moment he tries to bother you, just let us know and we'll take care of it." Axton said._

_"__I appreciate the offer, Sergeant. But it isn't that simple." Sarah said with mild sadness._

_"__Maybe you're just overcomplicating things." Axton said._

_"__Hmm … maybe I am." Sarah replied with reassurance._

_"__So take you own advice … give yourself a break every now and then. Be something other than a soldier for once. Free yourself from all that stress that you give yourself. Life can be short, so enjoy the most of what you can." Axton said._

_"__Heh, can't believe that it is one of my subordinates giving me advice in life, when it's usually the other way around." Sarah said with a warm smile before giving Axton a gentle kiss on the cheek, which makes Axton blush like a red tomato. Sarah then winks at Axton as she said "Thanks for the advice, Sergeant."_

_"__Uh … anytime, Lieutenant." Axton said with a gentle smile._

_Suddenly, the lights of the dining hall went dim as a stage light is focused on a platform where one man is standing. That man is none other than the CEO of Triton corp himself, Simon Rivers. It seems like he is about to give a speech as everyone else redirect their attention towards him._

_"__Attention, everyone, please." Simon Rivers said as he is holding a mic. "First, I would like to thank you all for coming aboard on the Glass Marina with me today. I got to say, I am quite proud of what I have accomplished, but I would not have done it if you haven't had faith in me. For years, true pioneers have had visions of the future. Visions that motivate us into driving innovation forward. Visions into making the impossible a reality. The path to make these visions come true is usually a rough and difficult path. But when you see the results for yourself, you would know that it's worth it. I've had many visions over the years of running Triton corp, but the Glass Marina is perhaps the most daring one. The truly beautiful wonders under the oceans across many planets could finally be seen up close by regular people like you and me because of the Glass Marina. They say that being in the dark depths of the ocean is like visiting another planet, as they both allow you to discover a whole set of diverse organisms living in it. Soon, we will be able to discover as much under these oceans as we do traversing the outer regions of space. And for this, let's all have a toast for all of you putting effort into supporting that vision of a more beautiful future."_

_As Mr. Rivers finishes his speech and raise a glass of wine as a toast, everyone else applauded and returned the toast. After that, the lights remained dim, thereby allowing the audience to see the magnificent view outside the ship. As they look through the glass walls of the Glass Marina, they could see what could be described as an alien version of a coral reef. The various vibrant colors actually glow like neon lights as they stand out among the deep-ocean ecosystem where every creature moves naturally with the waves. There are animals that have similar biostructure as the typical jellyfish or angelfish, but otherwise remain distinct and foreign. The ability for the glass outer-shell of the Glass Marina to give a full-view of the ocean only makes it more magnificent to look at._

_"__What you are seeing are some of the most beautiful deep-sea ecosystems within the planet of Poseidon." Simon Rivers explained to the audience who were looking at the underwater scenery with awe. "The bioluminescence that these deep-ocean creatures produce is quite pretty to look at. However, there are several practical uses to these particular biologically evolved traits …"_

_While Mr. Rivers was doing his explaining, Axton and Sarah are at a loss of words as they continue to observe the beautiful sight. It's not like anything they have ever seen before. It's different from what you often see in documentaries about deep-sea creatures. The thrill of seeing these creatures up close … no words could describe it._

_"__It's amazing …" Sarah whispered to Axton. "I would have never thought that what lies under these oceans could have something so amazingly beautiful."_

_"__Well, it's alright. I've seen better." Axton replied back._

_"__Oh really? What could possibly match the sight I'm seeing in front of me?" Sarah said with mild doubt._

_"__Well, I'm looking at her right now." Axton said as he stared straight at her, causing Sarah to realize that he is talking about her., which made her blush a little._

_"__Hmph … that pickup line was terrible." Sarah said as she lightly shakes her head. "But I kinda like it."_

_"__I know I like what I'm looking." Axton said as he continues to make eye contact on Sarah. "And I'm willing to make all of the terrible pickup lines in the world to make her happy."_

_That line tugged Sarah by the heart a little bit. Sarah and Axton are now facing each other with only mere inches between their lips. They really want to kiss each other so bad right now. Everything has gone so smoothly that there is no way anything can break this up-_

_*BOOM!*_

_Suddenly, the whole ship has shaken like there is an earthquake going on. Only that doesn't sound like an earthquake. It's more like … an explosion. Before anyone can retain their composure and figure out what's going on, the doors had practically exploded with water gushing in to the dining hall. They couldn't believe what has happened. Nobody could have anticipated it. There is some sort of explosion going on inside the Glass Marina, and the ship is going to sink because of it._

_"__What the heck is going on?!" Sarah yelled amongst the chaos as everyone is panicking and screaming as they try to swim for their lives. _

_"__Sh*t, someone must have set up a bomb inside the ship!" Axton hypothesized. "Either that or there's some sort of mechanical failure … I don't know which!"_

_"__There are people at the lower levels on board! We need to rescue them!" Sarah yelled._

_"__Sarah!" Colonel Douglas yelled as he walked towards Sarah to make sure she's okay. It's getting difficult to walk when you're knee deep in seawater. "Are you okay, Sarah?"_

_"__Hey, Axton! You alright?!" Eugene yelled as he approached Axton._

_"__We'll figure out the cause of this explosion later! But for now, we need to evacuate everybody to the escape pods!" Sarah said with urgency._

_"__I know the layout of this ship when I was working on the mission! The engineers at the lower levels are at the most danger of not getting to the escape pods on time! I need to rescue them!"_

_"__Sarah, no! You can't do this!" Colonel Douglas objected loudly._

_"__We have no time to argue, dad! You need to get to the escape pods first! I don't want to lose you as well as mom!" Sarah persuaded._

_"__Everybody, SHUT UP!" Axton yelled, which causes them to refocus their attention on them. "If the Lieutenant is going to do this, I'm gonna follow her!"_

_"__Sergeant!-" Sarah objected before being cut-off._

_"__You said you have no time to argue, right?! So let's stop talking and get to the rescuing!" Axton convinced loudly._

_"__Sarah!" Colonel Douglas said before grabbing Sarah by the hand and pulling in for a deep hug. "Come back alive … please."_

_"__I will, dad." Sarah replied with sentiment._

_"__And you, pussy-ass maggot!" Colonel Douglas breaks away from the hug to focus his attention to Axton. "Make sure my Sarah comes back in one piece or I'll rip your ass in half!"_

_"__You have my word, Colonel!" Axton said confidently with a salute._

_"__Hey Ax! Be a badass and not die in this wreck, alright?!" Eugene yelled._

_"__You bet your ass I'm not gonna die today. Make sure the Colonel gets out safe." Axton replied._

_"__You got it!" Eugene promised as Axton and Eugene shared a manly arm-wrestle handshake._

_"__Alright, everyone! Let's move!" Sarah yelled, before everyone went their separate ways. _

_Sarah and Axton are taking the route to the lower levels while Eugene, Colonel Douglas, and everybody else try to head to the top where the escape pods were. However, before Sarah rushes down the lower levels unprepared, she goes towards one of the emergency supply closets attached to the walls and grabs something … a supply of Oz-kits. These so-called Oz-kits are small devices used to provide the user with breathable oxygen and readjusts the surrounding pressure of the environment, suitable for use in places like outer space or underwater areas. It's standard safety procedure for every ship to have a substantial supply of Oz-kits, including the Glass Marina in case of an emergency. These underwater Oz-kits are usually enough to allow a person to breathe underwater for about half an hour, though they might not last long when traversing underwater several miles under the ocean, where the external water pressures is tremendous._

_"__Here, Sergeant. Grab these Oz-kits." Sarah said rousingly as she hands him a transparent suitcase, each have around 30 Oz-kits in them. "We'll give them to each and every person we see. It won't allow them to survive long enough for them to surface, but at least they'll be able to breathe long enough to get to the escape pods."_

_"__Got it. Let's go." Axton replied._

_It was utter chaos. The lights were shorted out by the ocean water gushing in from the outside. The outer-glass walls were shattering. People are either screaming for their lives as they ran or couldn't do so because they are in the process of drowning. Regardless, Sarah and Axton are determined to save whoever they can. After a couple of minutes, they have rescued people from certain death more times that they could count, but there are still more people trapped at the lower levels and they couldn't stop now. Once they've arrived to the next lower level, they saw that it is completely flooded with water and that they have no choice but to use one of the Oz-kits to get down there._

_"__We don't know how far we have to go down there. We could easily drown if we go any further." Axton warned._

_"__Then go, I'm not asking you to stay." Sarah said angrily._

_"__Thought you were going to say that." Axton said with a smirk before equipping his Oz-kit, allowing a transparent bubble to cover his head like a helmet. "Let's do this, then."_

_"__Alright." Sarah said with confidence before equipping her own Oz-kit. "Let's go."_

_Axton and Sarah then proceed to swim down to the lower levels. As they swam, they saw several floating bodies, some of them squirming for air, some of them simply floating lifeless. Axton and Sarah did all they could to distribute the Oz-kits to whoever needed it, yet couldn't help but feel disappointed that they couldn't do more. As they finally reached to a sealed door, they are almost out of Oz-kits to distribute and their oxygen supply is running low. Since it is difficult to communicate verbally underwater, Sarah tries to signal Axton to help her get the door open. Axton got the hint and they both put their effort into opening the door to get to the other side. Once the door is open, Sarah and Axton went in first before seeing something that had shocked her … it was explosives attached to the engine. The same explosives used during the terrorist attacks. And it's emitting a beeping sound. The beeping becomes faster, indicating that it's about to blow up._

_*beep … beep … beep beep beep BOOM!*_

_Sarah thought she was dead, knowing that she could have never escaped the explosion. But when she opens her eyes, something weird happened. She's still alive. Moreover, she is able to breathe without her Oz-kit, which ran out of oxygen already. Then she sees some sort of large transparent dome surrounding her, creating some sort of large air bubble around her and presumably guarded her from the blast. She also saw a machine in the center of the dome that presumably is the one creating the dome. Upon closer inspection, this machine seems familiar, because of course it is. It's a Dahl standard-issue Sabre-turret, modified with a Mag-lock and a Phalanx shield._

_"__Heh, good-old turret. Always reliable when I need it to be … *Cough* " Axton said with a strangely weak tone of voice. _

_Sarah turned around to look at Axton, only to see that Axton was severely injured. One side of him is bleeding profusely along with a couple of bone fractures at the limbs. It must have been caused by the explosion. It had protected Sarah, but couldn't protect Axton in time._

_"__Oh my god! Are you alright?" Sarah said as she does her best to apply first aid to Axton with what she had, which includes tearing a piece of her dress to bandage Axton's wounds._

_"__Heh, I've been better. I could have really turned into ground meat if my turret's shields didn't hold up." Axton said with trying charm as he struggles to breathe from his collapsed lung._

_"__You brought a turret on-board the ship?!" Sarah asked shockingly._

_"__To be fair, I bring my turret whenever I go. Couldn't leave my house without it. It's like my lucky charm." Axton joked._

_"__How did it get past security?" Sarah asked curiously._

_"__They didn't bother to check. I guess being VIP on this ship means you get to have certain privileges." Axton said. "But, hey, it worked out for the best, right?"_

_"__Stop talking, Sergeant. You need to save your energy so we can get you out of here." Sarah urged before being gently grabbed by Axton's bleeding arm._

_"__Listen, Lieutenant … *Cough* … Sarah … you need to go without me …" Axton said weakly._

_"__Don't talk like that! We'll both get out here alive!" Sarah cried, with tears basically flowing down her cheeks._

_"__We don't have a lot of options here." Axton reasoned. "Our Oz-kits either ran out of air or were damaged by the explosion. The turret's shields are going to fail sooner or later under this amount of water pressure. If you swim back alone, you'll have a better chance of making it back-"_

_"__I'm not leaving you!" Sarah shouted, before the tears are overflowing on her face and she gently placed her hands and her forehead on Axton's chest. "Why are you all like that? … *Sob* … Why do you insist of risking your own lives to protect me? … *Sob* … you are like that … my mom was like that … I'm tired of people dying because of me …"_

_Axton tried to comfort Sarah by gently patting her on the back of her head as she cries. It seems like no matter how you look at it, the chances of either of them getting out of this alive are slim. Even the toughest of soldiers couldn't help but be sentimental from time to time. They are only human. Even though Axton does want to protect Sarah, he could also understand what Sarah is going through right now, having to choose between her own life and the lives of people closest to her._

_"__Lieutenant …*cough* … listen to me …" Axton said weakly, which prompts Sarah to raise her head to look at him face-to-face. "We're soldiers … risking our lives to save others … it's just what we do … you should know that better than I do … you taught us that, after all … I only listen to the best … and in my eyes … you are the best commander I could ever follow under …"_

_" __*Sniff* … In that case, allow me to be the best commander all the way and keep my soldiers alive." Sarah said with determination._

_Afterwards, Sarah slings Axton's whole body weight under her so that she'll be able to carry him all the way to the escape pods. It won't be easy, swimming with the weight of another person on top of her and to not have a useable Oz-kit at hand, but she have to try. Guess all that soldier training she had finally came in handy outside of the battlefield for once. Once she is ready, she deactivates the turret so that the shields would be gone. She then carries the turret SDU with her, knowing Axton would want it back. She then tries her hardest to swim back to the upper levels in order to get to the escape pods. It was almost not possible, but Sarah has probably gone through worse on her workdays. Plus, she is not one to quit easily. Once Sarah has gotten Axton out of the water, they both hurry to the escape pods as fast as possible, even when taken into account of Axton's broken leg. Once they have finally gotten in one of the escape pods, Sarah gently placed Axton on one of the seats before ejecting themselves off the sunken Glass Marina and into safety. As Sarah tries to check Axton's vitals, she began to notice something … Axton's not breathing._

_"__Sergeant … Sergeant!" Sarah panicked. It's not like her to panic, since she knows you always need a cool head in order to do anything properly and efficiently. However, this rush of urgency isn't something she could control, as someone she holds dear is about to lose their life if she does not act fast. She tried the usual procedure of CPR on him, pressing her lips onto Axton's while breathing life-giving air into his lungs and compressing his chest, but it didn't seem to work. Sarah is growing increasingly frustrating as her efforts to save Axton seem to be more and more futile. "Sergeant! … Please, open your eyes … don't die on me, Sergeant … Sergeant! … Axton! …" _

* * *

**Author's Note****: Yep, I made a Titanic reference. Not saying that the Glass Marina got hit by an underwater iceberg or anything. It's just that both ships are famously innovative for their time and ironically ended up killing a lot of people afterwards. Wonder if these two factors are related. Also, yes, I introduced Oz-kits to this story. Kinda felt like it was appropriate for underwater use as it is for outer-space use in the Pre-Sequel, since both environments are places where you need breathable oxygen and regulation of external pressures. These Oz-kits don't have the option of butt-slams, though, but that would be kind of awesome.**


	32. A Soldier's Bond

**Author's note****: Hey there, readers, and Merry Christmas (or Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanzaa or whatever you guys celebrate nowadays)! Ho Ho Ho! I know you're dying for this update. To be fair, I am still having the habit of procrastination, but I've been improving in managing it simply because I love you guys and I appreciate you guys for supporting this fanfic. Keep in mind that from here on, Axton's backstory might be slightly differentiated from the official Borderlands canon because, in my personal opinion, it's more interesting to see him as more of a sympathetic soldier than a soldier fighting for glory and thrills. Now, as a special bonus for this special event, I will attempt to sing a holiday song for you, but first, I have to chug down a couple bottles of beer first. I cannot do this sober.**

***The author drinks a bottle of beer … the author's face grew red … the author hiccups … the author passed out from drinking too much because he foolishly thinks he has the alcohol tolerance of Oleg … the author will not be able to sing his drunken holiday song … that is probably a good thing, because the author sucks at singing anyway … Enjoy the reads.***

* * *

Chapter 32: A Soldier's Bond

"AHH! You're not breathin'! You dead!" Tina shouted in panic with arms flailing in the air. "But wait, you're still alive and talking to us … that means … YOU'RE A GHOST! Quick! Kill it! Kill it with fire! No wait! Ghosts are already dead! How can they be killed?! Also, he died in the water, and fire is weak against water! AHH!"

"Screw fire! Kill it with EXPLOOOOOOOSIONS!" K.C. Dynamo added loudly as he clench his fists in overwhelming excitement. "Explosions work on anything, even ghosts! … I think! … F*ck it! Let's test it out! Mortars, take aim!"

"Do I get to eat him afterwards?" Mama Jaws proposed as she is sticking out her tongue and drooling to indicate her hunger. "I kinda wanna eat him afterwards. Them pecs look awful lot like pieces of juicy steak."

"Relax, I'm not dead, you idiots." Axton said annoyingly as he faceplamed in response to their childlike behavior. (To be fair, some of them are technically children.)

"Nope, just gone into a coma for about 2 months." Eugene added smugly. "Man, I cannot count how many times the Lieutenant has taken time off from work to visit you in the hospital. I didn't see it up close, but I know she had a sad puppy face every time she looks at you lying there on the sick bed. Good thing you're still alive after that ordeal. Many others on the Glass Marina … well, they aren't so lucky."

"So what exactly happened?" Mordecai asked. "I thought all the terrorists are captured during the mission with Dahl. Are there some other people left over who still want to blow up the ship? How did they even get through the security?"

"That's the fascinating part." Eugene replied. "The one who set up the whole 'blow-up-the-Glass-Marina' thing was none other than … the CEO of Triton corp, Mr. Simon Rivers himself."

Everyone was shocked to hear this revelation. To think that it was the person who promoted the cruise submarine in the first place is the one behind the plan to destroy it. It was quite simply unprecedented.

"Well, that was unexpected. Why would he do that?" Lilith asked with a raised eyebrow.

"For insurance money, mostly. When the Lieutenant and the feds went to investigate on the second bombing, they detected a lot of inconsistencies and decide to dig deep into Triton corp's financial records." Eugene explained. "Turns out Triton corp was under such a huge amount of debt that it's nearly going bankrupt and this whole thing is just one of those elaborate insurance frauds. How ironic that in order to save a metaphorical sinking ship, he has to sink a literal ship."

"Wait, this wasn't mentioned in the news. It only vaguely mentioned that there is some insider from the company that determines to sabotage the Glass Marina for financial gain or something." Gaige noted.

"That was a deliberate manipulation of the media, of course." Patrick replied sternly as he adjusts his glasses. "Imagine the reputation that it will bring to the Triton corp if the public knew that it was the CEO himself who set up the whole thing. The whole scandal was intentionally made vague by the board of directors of Triton corp to minimize the damage done to their corporate image after the incident. Of course, even if the truth had gotten out, people would only regard it as a baseless rumor or a conspiracy theory designed to assign blame on certain people and to create confusion."

"Hmph, how typical of corporations to dodge the responsibility of the deaths of hundreds of people." Oleg said with his drunken voice. "In the end, the truth doesn't really matter. People would only believe what they want to believe. They would instinctively manipulate what they see and what they hear with their own twisted imagination and ended up exaggerating the whole truth altogether. Even if the truth got out, no one would care. They might blame the media for hiding certain information, but they have equal blame on distorting the information they see with their own mind."

"That is quite philosophical coming from someone who is too drunk to tell how many fingers I am holding up." Xiao Lan said with mocking cheerfulness as she held up two fingers to test Oleg's mental clarity.

"… you're holding up six fingers with one hand …" Oleg said as he glances at Xiao Lan's hand before taking another drink from his vodka bottle. " … *sigh* … perhaps I am not drunk enough …" Either Oleg is clearly drunk or he is messing with everyone.

"Regardless, Sarah ended up confronting Simon Rivers with the information. I was still in a coma at the time, so I'll let Eugene fill in for you guys." Axton said.

"Oh yeah, Sarah confronted him alright. You should have seen how pissed-off Sarah is when she realized the truth, Axton. She was practically a monster waiting to claw someone's eyes out at the time. That may have been correlated to how important you are to her." Eugene said smugly as he winks at Axton.

"Maybe …" Axton replied softly as he reminisces at the past events.

* * *

_It was a grim day inside Lieutenant Sarah's office. The weather is cloudy with a sprinkle of rain. Although a bit gloomy, it appropriately matches the atmosphere of the situation. It has been a couple of weeks since the sinking of the Glass Marina. Several hundreds of people died, with the exact number still in question. The media is practically swarming like hornets over this major event, as each news source is looking for someone to blame. The people at the Galactic Federation, however, wouldn't be so quick as to shift blame until they have investigated deeper. After some digging while cooperating with the Dahl corporation, they have found the culprit … and they couldn't be more shocked once they figure out who it was. In the office, the lieutenant was in her official Dahl uniform and seated on her usual seat while one of the representatives from the Galactic Federation was standing formally by her side. That representative was none other than the same one that was investigating the case with James Stevenson, the presumed mastermind of the previous failed bombing attack at the Glass Marina. Suddenly, the door at the office was opened. Entering the door was Simon Rivers accompanied by two of Dahl's soldiers. Simon Rivers nervously observed the expression on both the lieutenant and the federal rep's face. He could tell that they are not in a good mood._

_"__You are both dismissed. We'll take it from here." Lieutenant Sarah ordered her two soldiers, who replied with a respectful salute before exiting the office._

_"__What is the meaning of this? I was suddenly asked by people from Dahl to come here. They said this is important." Simon Rivers said with his hands shaking and sweating._

_"__Please take a seat, Mr. Rivers." Lieutenant Sarah said with her signature emotionless stare, prompting Simon Rivers to comply. Meanwhile, the federal rep approached the desk and opened up a file containing various documents. These include various pictures and reports of the Glass Marina sinking incident. _

_"__We're here to discuss about the Glass Marina incident, Mr. Rivers. We believe we may have a new lead." the federal rep said sternly._

_"__Well … uh … really …that's- that's good news." Simon Rivers said nervously as the sweat of fear is dripping from his forehead. "Did you catch who did this? I swear I won't let this person get away with wrecking my beautiful ship and killing all those peo-"_

_"__You can stop pretending, Mr. Rivers." Lieutenant Sarah interrupted. "We know you are behind it."_

_"__What? … uh, I have no idea what you are talking about?" Simon Rivers whimpered with shifty eyes, trying to feign innocence._

_"__We know you planted the bomb yourself. We know you intended to destroy your own ship. We know you were the one who anonymously ordered James Stevenson and a crew of mercs to bomb that ship. Everything that has happened … you were behind it." Lieutenant Sarah snapped with gradually increasing anger._

_"__Now hold on just a second! First of all, that is some bold accusations you are throwing towards me! What proof do you have?" Simon Rivers raged back, similar to that of a ferocious animal that has been back to a corner._

_"__We have analyzed the structure of the destroyed Glass Marina. The suspected location of which the bombs were set off was way too precise, despite of using only a few hastily-crafted improvised explosive devices." the federal rep explained. "We suspect that it's someone working inside the Glass Marina, and this person is presumably an amateur when it comes to explosives." _

_"__It has got to be James Stevenson! He had back-up! He had people from the outside who are still working for him! It has to be!" Simon Rivers lashed out._

_"__It wouldn't be possible. James Stevenson and all of the members of the terrorist group haven't been in contact with anyone else while under our custody between the moment they were captured and the moment the second bombing starts." Lieutenant Sarah deducted. "Also, if they were to set this up beforehand, to somehow signal the second bombing once they were captured, they would most likely have used someone who is an expert in explosives and not an amateur. Even if that assailant did end up blowing up the Glass Marina, there would be no compensation for the work, since James Stevenson's financial funding is confiscated the moment he was captured and we know from the rest of the terrorists' testimonies that they weren't paid in-advance."_

_"__Maybe it is someone who is not connected to James Stevenson, but who also wants to ruin my reputation! I am quite a powerful man, lieutenant, and powerful men like me occasionally attract enemies who are jealous of my achievements!" Simon Rivers verbally defended himself. "Also, let me remind you that I am a victim here! The Glass Marina was my masterpiece! It was my child! My lifeline! Not only is blowing it up destroy all of my life's work, it will also cause tremendous amounts of damage to the reputation of Triton corp itself! What could I possibly gain from sabotaging my own ship?!"_

_"__Quite a lot, actually." the federal rep said before he took out another file to display on the table, one of which contains financial records of Triton corp. "We have recently dug into your company's financial records and realized some inconsistences. It's almost like there were records of transactions being done despite of no real money added to the Triton's corporate accounts. One possible explanation is that all these recorded transactions are fabricated to disguise the fact that Triton corp has virtually no money left and is probably in a lot of debt. Additionally, the Glass Marina itself has a hefty insurance plan, one of which could probably make you a trillionare several times over if the Glass Marina were to ever be destroyed. It is possible that your company's finances is on thin ice and you want this bombing to be an elaborate insurance fraud to save your company from bankruptcy."_

_"__That … that is preposterous! So what if I had an insurance plan set on the Glass Marina?! I'm just being cautious with my money! This is just common sense to a businessman like me! Also, these financial record inconsistencies could have been a series of accounting errors! Or someone trying to pull strings from behind so as to redirect the blame to me! These are baseless accusations you're throwing at me! Baseless, I tell you!" Simon Rivers shouted as his face is practically red from anger. "You cannot pin this on me! You'll never be able to, because I'm innocent!"_

_"__We were afraid you were going to say that." Lieutenant Sarah said stoically. "Mr. Rivers, you may think you are safe from prosecution, but we have enough evidence to nail this on you. Come clean with us. It's the very least you can do to all the people whose death you've caused."_

_This statement was the last straw for Simon Rivers, for he slammed his hand on the desk out of anger. There is no way there could be any evidence against him. He have done everything so perfectly and analyzed every contingency. There is no way …_

_"__You're bluffing …" Simon Rivers muttered before shouting out angrily. "You have nothing on me! Nothing! I won't tolerate these despicable accusations! I'm going to sue you back for this! I'm gonna …"_

_"__Should we bring her in?" the federal rep said to the lieutenant._

_"__I prefer that he doesn't have to know. It will break both of their hearts." Lieutenant Sarah replied as she rubbed her forehead in response to the mental stress of making a tough decision. "But it seems like we don't have a choice."_

_"__What? … what are you two muttering about?" Simon Rivers questioned._

_Lieutenant Sarah reached for a phone-like device near her desk and pressed one of the buttons. "Bring her in." Sarah said to the phone device with a hint of sadness._

_After the message is received on the other end, the office door opened and someone came in from outside. That someone was a woman of approximately the same age as Simon Rivers, but had an elegant beauty surrounding her. You may have met her before in some other setting … ginger hair shaped like a bouquet, soft white skin, caring smile …_

_" … __Bertha?..." Simon Rivers said, wide-eyed in shock as he saw his own wife coming into the office. "What … what are you doing here? What's going on?"_

_"__I'm so sorry, Simon … *sniff* *sob* … I'm so sorry …" Bertha Rivers cried softly as she seems to be drenched with guilt. " … I know I shouldn't have done this … but … too many people have died … *cries* …"_

_"__Mrs. Rivers. Would you kindly show us the evidence?" Lieutenant Sarah said sympathetically._

_" … __*sniff* … Of course …" Bertha Rivers replied softly as she took out an ECHO recorder from her purse, placed it on the table, and turn it on. What contains within the ECHO recorder is a recording detailing the scheming of Simon Rivers._

_[ … Hello, James Stevenson …] the recording is that of the voice of Simon Rivers. It seems like he is speaking to someone else, only that you couldn't hear what the other person is saying. It's possible that he is speaking to this person through another ECHO transmission and this is a recording that is eavesdropping on one side of the conversation. [ … How I know your name doesn't matter. Who I am doesn't matter. If I disguised my voice through this transmission, it's obvious that I want to keep my identity a secret … what do I want? Well, the better question is: What do you want? I heard you got fired from Triton corp a while ago. Don't you want payback? Don't you want vengeance for those people who fired you and insulted you? Don't you want to get back at your boss … Simon Rivers? … What I am implying is that you should act on that hatred and hit them where it hurts … the Glass Marina … you should sabotage it … blow it up if possible … sure, that sounds like only a crazy lunatic would do and from what I know, you're not a crazy lunatic … but you do know the layout of the ship since you work there, and with a team of hired mercenaries, it could be feasible to do … what do I want? I only want to see the Glass Marina destroyed and that is all you need to know … perhaps you might not do it for hatred, but you might be willing to do it for a little bit of incentive … I'm talking about the kind of money that will allow you to live in luxury, to not have to work for the rest of your life … To prove to you that I'm not lying to you, why don't you check your bank account and see? … that's right, that is only my initial payment, and you'll have ten times that amount when the job is done … I've also sent you contact information with a group of mercs who are willing to get their hands dirty for some extra cash … once you met up with them, I'll give you further instructions … Oh, by the way, I trust that you'll be discreet about this whole matter. If you were to expose me to the authorities in any way, I will send people to find you and kill you … Glad we have an understanding, Mr. Stevenson … ]_

_Simon Rivers couldn't be more shocked at what he heard. His wife has been secretly recording his incriminating conversation behind his back. She might as well be stabbing him in the heart. To see the love of her life betray him like that …_

_"__Bertha … you … you recorded this and you haven't told me … how could you …" Simon Rivers said as his face shows that he is emotionally hurt by the betrayal._

_"__I didn't want to do this … I was the one who gave the anonymous tip to the Federation … hoping they could stop the attack without letting them know that you were behind it … I was hoping that after the first attempt have failed, you would just give up on the sabotage and find some other way to save the company … I tried to persuade you to stop but you didn't listen … this is not the way to do it, Simon …" Bertha cried, tears flowing from her eyes from all the drama._

_"__We have discussed about this! There is no other way! Triton corp is at the brink of financial ruin! We had no other choice! I did what I had to do!" Simon Rivers flared at his wife._

_"__But the Glass Marina was our baby, Simon … It was our dream … and now all those people dead …" Bertha cried._

_"__The company was on the brink of bankruptcy! Even if we could promote it, we won't be able to afford maintaining it and it will end up being scrapped! I didn't intend for the first bombing to kill anyone! I wouldn't have to bomb it the second time if the first time went successfully as planned! If you would have just kept your mouth shut, nobody would have to die and the insurance claim would still have gone through! Enough to save the company from ruin!" Simon Rivers is practically tearing his head of hair off from this shocking revelation. "Dreams don't grow on trees, Bertha! They require tremendous amounts of effort and business maneuvers to be accomplished! Why won't you understand?!"_

_"__Is it worth it?" Lieutenant Sarah said calmly to an angered Simon Rivers. "Was blowing up the Glass Marina, covering it all up, and make it look like an accident so that you can save your company … worth all those people whose lives you have taken?"_

_Simon Rivers took a deep breath before taking a seat on a chair and cover his face with his palms. "The funny thing was … I almost didn't do it … I don't have the guts to commit an atrocious act like that, even for the sake of the company … but the company was established because I needed it to accomplish my dreams … and I cannot let the company die … I wish I didn't have to cause the death of those people. But they could have provided a great cover-up, didn't it? If people see me as a victim in the event … see that this was all an elaborate terrorist plot … they would not be suspicious and look into my secret. Sure … it might cause a tremendous amount of damage to the reputation of my company … but with time we could recover from it … and we needed the money … the Glass Marina was my dream … I have to destroy it in order to save it … I cannot let my company die …"_

_While Simon Rivers was sitting on the chair and feeling hopeless, Bertha couldn't help but approach him with a gentle hug. Despite of all that has happened, Simon Rivers welcomes the hug. He welcomes the embrace of those who loved him, even when those same people have betrayed him. Not even the stoic lieutenant or the federal rep could see this moment without feeling a little bit sympathetic for the both of them. "I'm sorry, my dear … *sobs* … I'm so sorry …" Bertha cried as she continues to hold onto Simon._

_After a moment of sentiment, the federal rep approached Mr. Rivers. "Simon Rivers … you are under arrest for murder and conspiracy. If you got anything else to say, save it in court." the federal rep said with formality._

_" … __*sniff* … I understand …" Simon Rivers said depressingly as he got up. _

_There is no going around it. He's going to prison. It will most likely be a life sentence, up until the day he dies of old age, at which he won't be able to have his wife besides him. He never wanted any of this to happen, but life sometimes makes the choices for you, whether you like it or not. As Simon Rivers got out of the office in cuffs, Lieutenant Sarah took a moment of silence to look back at all that has happened as she stares out the window in quiet sorrow._

* * *

"Wait a minute, that's not what you told me." Axton said with curiosity. "You said that the lieutenant was so furious that he punched Mr. Rivers and left him a bloody nose. You also said that she pulled out a gun and almost threatened to shoot Mr. Rivers."

"Oh … uh … yeah, that never actually happened." Eugene said with a smile of mocking apology. "I'm just saying that to mess with you. Can't believe you actually believed that up until now."

"You son of a-" Axton cursed with mild anger.

"Regardless, it worked out for the best, right?" Eugene said. "You and Sarah actually get some sweet lovin'. Don't say that I didn't contribute to part of it."

"Oh my, are we going to hear another fabulous story of sexual passion?" Xiao Lan said with cheerful anticipation.

"Yeah, Axton." Gaige said enthusiastically as she approaches closer to Axton, with her drooling being a good indication of her level of enthusiasm. "Tell us how you and your wife did it.~ Give me all of the juicy details.~"

"Not in a million years." Axton replied with a low-brow stare as she shoves away Gaige for approaching too close to him. "But I am going to tell you what happened after I woke up from the hospital. It was not as eventful as what you usually think of coma awakenings. I woke up, Eugene filled me in on the situation, I went to the graves of the ship's victims to pay my respects, and things just sort of gotten back to normal. After a while, though … things just sort of happened between me and Sarah …"

* * *

_It was a peaceful night within the Dahl's base, where you see Axton and Eugene doing their usual routine maintenance on their guns and Sabre turrets. It's been several days after Axton has woken up from the coma. Of course, there is a mini-celebration taken place afterwards because of his recovery, but it seems like nothing much has changed afterwards. People have died right in front of Axton during the sinking of the Glass Marina and Axton couldn't save all of them. No matter how hard he trained as a soldier, he could never save them all._

_"__Yo, why you dozing off like that?" Eugene said as he lightly taps on Axton's shoulder. "You tired, man? If so, you can go to sleep first. I can handle it."_

_"__Nah, I'm good. I was just thinking … of some things." Axton replied._

_"__That coma hasn't given you brain damage has it? Are you the same Axton that I know?" Eugene mildly joked._

_"__The doctors said I'm fine. Good as new. Don't you worry." Axton reassured._

_"__Alright then." Eugene said before returning to work when suddenly he saw someone coming into the work-tent. "Oh hey … Lieutenant."_

_Axton swiftly turns around to see Lieutenant Sarah enters the tent. She wasn't wearing the usual military uniform with badges and everything, but instead wore a green-camo grunt uniform and black boots, similar to those worn by Axton and Eugene. _

_"__At ease. I'm off-duty right now. You don't need to be so formal." Sarah said. "I'm here to check on how you two are doing, that's all."_

_"__Oh alright …" Eugene said with mild intrigue. Meanwhile, Axton and Sarah were exchanging stares and they both look mildly depressed. The tent has suddenly gotten quiet for a few seconds and it's getting a bit awkward. Eugene saw the interaction between the two and kinda got the hint on what's going on here. "… I think I need to go to the bathroom. I'll leave you two here to … uh … catch up."_

_As Eugene exited the tent and leaving Axton and Sarah alone, Axton quietly resumed back to his work on his turret-maintenance. Sarah approached slowly next to him, staring at the mechanical parts on the table as she brushed her fingers against some of them. Then she picked up one of them and half-heartedly stares at it while quietly glancing at Axton working by her side._

_"__So … how are you feeling?" Sarah said, her gentle voice uniquely stands out from her usual strict and commanding tone._

_"__I'm alright." Axton replied with equal softness in his voice._

_"__That's … good." Sarah said gently and she puts down one mechanical part and picks up another one to look at it, like she's using it to distract her from actually facing Axton upfront._

_" __Yeah … Thanks for your concern." Axton added softly._

_"__No problem. I'm your commanding officer. It's my job to take care of my fellow soldiers." Sarah said softly as she puts down the mechanical part. "It is also my job to notice when my soldiers have something that is troubling them, so I can counsel them when I need to. I know there is something bothering you. Tell me what's wrong."_

_Axton couldn't handle the negative emotions rushing through him right now. He stop what he is doing and press both his hands down on the table to act as support as he drop his head to stare at the ground. _

_"… __I couldn't save them …" Axton muttered in shame. Sarah realizes that he's talking about the victims of the Glass Marina sinking and that he couldn't save them. Sarah sees how Axton is in a lot of emotional pain and couldn't help but feel empathetic towards him._

_"__It's alright, Axton. There's nothing you could have done." Sarah said softly as she gently places a hand on Axton's back to comfort him._

_"__No, that is not an excuse!" Axton snapped all of a sudden as he brushed away Sarah. "All those people … dead … at the bottom of the ocean … men, women, children … I couldn't save them, no matter how hard I try …" Axton now feels like he is about to cry. "I am a soldier. Not only that, I am a Commando, one of the best soldiers there is. I am supposed to be the strong one protecting the weak. I am the one who supposed to dead so that others could live, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!"_

_" … __you're experiencing survivor's guilt. It's understandable, considering the situation that you have been. No one … not even the toughest of soldiers … is immune to it." Sarah said, maintaining her calmness._

_"… __*sniff* … when I saw the first innocent civilian die in front of me while I was on duty as a soldier … I promised myself that I'm not going let it happen ever again … so I trained hard … as hard as I can possibly imagine, and train even harder beyond that … I became a Commando, a soldier that is considered the best-of-the-best, and I still …" Axton couldn't muster his will to finish. He knelt to the ground, hands covering his head in shame as he quietly sobs. Before long, he felt someone embracing him, wrapping their arms around him. The one providing the hug of warmth was … Sarah._

_" … __don't beat yourself up for it …" Sarah said gently as she pulled away from the hug to look at Axton in the eyes. " … if anything … it was my fault … I should have seen what is really going on underneath … I should have suspected something is wrong with Simon Rivers … I should have trusted my gut feeling that something bad is about to happen … but I didn't …" Axton then saw a couple of tears shed from Sarah's eyes. Axton couldn't believe what he is seeing. He couldn't believe that even the toughest and strictest of soldiers like the lieutenant has her tender moments. That even someone like Sarah could feel sadness and pain. It's quite different from her usual stoic and emotionless self and Axton couldn't be more astonished by it. "… those people died … because of me … because I didn't see it coming …"_

_"__No … lieutenant … it's not your fault …" Axton said tenderly while trying to gently brush away the tears from Sarah's face._

_"__Please … call me Sarah …" Sarah replied softly._

_"__Sarah …" Axton muttered._

_Sarah then gently places her head on Axton's chest as she cried softly and quietly. Meanwhile, Axton embraces her with his arms, brushing her back and patting her head as an attempt to comfort her. At the same time, Axton couldn't help but shed a few tears of his own, knowing that they have both went through a lot. They both understood sorrow and guilt in its most concentrated form. But at the same time … they also understood each other. After a couple of minutes of crying and hugging, it has finally settled down to a quiet peace. Axton and Sarah both stare at each other for a few seconds, mere inches between their faces, each breath touching the other's face. Then suddenly … like an instinct infused with the purest of emotions … they kissed. It started out gentle, with Axton and Sarah exploring each other's lips and tongues with benevolent intrigue. After a while, it became more powerful and passionate. As they kiss harder, they breathe deeper, allowing the other's scent to suck into their noses and locked into their memories. As they continue to kiss more passionately, they also enthusiastically caress each other's bodies. Feeling every curve, every surface, every strand of hair that they could get their hands on in the heat of the moment. They proceed to stand up, with Axton lifting Sarah to sit on the table while Sarah's arms are wrapping around Axton's head. It seems like the more they kiss, the more they want it. They crave for more. They feel like they are ready for more. They feel like they have waited for way too long for this and they couldn't hold back their urges any longer. After a while, Sarah practically toss patience and subtlety out the window and tore open Axton's shirt before brushing her hands on his hardened abs until it slowly reaches down his pants and into his-_

_"__Wait! Wait … hold on … this is going too fast." Axton said as he finally manages to catch his breath while halting Sarah from going further with what he thinks she's about to do._

_"__What's the matter? Isn't this what you want?" Sarah asked confusingly._

_"__Well … yeah … it is, but … I want this to be special … I want to get to know you better before I do it, you know." Axton said, blushing with slight embarrassment. _

_"__But we've known each other for years now." Sarah replied._

_"__Not like this. I want to know the real you. The other side of it. The side when you let your guard down and open yourself up. The side where you actually want other people to get close to." Axton said with sincerity. "Listen … I really like you … I can't believe it took me this long to tell you this, but it's true … that's why I don't want this to be a one-night stand. I want this to be cherished. I want this to be a commitment. So … how about dinner?"_

_Sarah couldn't believe what she just heard. She thought that Axton is like one of those guys who play around. She sees people like that often, those who don't take relationships as seriously as they should be. She doesn't hate them for it because she thinks that is the norm and commitments are so few and far between that it is pointless to hope for them. But now … she sees that Axton is trying to make this special to both of them. Axton genuinely wants to fall in love with her. He wants to get to know her … to understand her … and to care for her. Sure, she is well-aware that Axton has had relationships before and those ended quite short, but she somehow feels like this is going to be different. Sarah sees Axton as one-of-a-kind, in a good way … and she couldn't be happier._

_"__Hmph, you're so cute when you actually shy away from going straight to bed with me." Sarah said flirtatiously with a warm smile as she placed a kiss on Axton's cheek before getting off the table. "Fine, we'll do it your way. I'm free this coming Saturday. I don't mind waiting a little. As they always say … good things are worth waiting for."_

_"__Hehehehehe …" Axton and Sarah were alerted as they hear someone chucking at the background outside of the tent. They went to investigate to see who it was on the other side. They open the tent door to see that it's … Eugene, barely holding back his mischievous laughter._

_"__Dude! What the hell? You listened to all of that?" Axton said outrageously to Eugene._

_"__Yeah well … *chuckles* … I couldn't resist to eavesdrop on the conversation you're having." Eugene said, gradually settling down his laughter. "To be fair, it was quite a show of bonding between you two. Given, it was way too sappy for my tastes, but everyone has their preferences. I'm surprised you actually held back your urges this time, Ax. When we had our moment for the first time, you were like a well-oiled love machine. None of the 'I want it to be special', 'I want to get to know you better', 'how about dinner?' … it was HILARIOUS, MAN! … HAHAHAHAH!"_

_Both Axton and Sarah couldn't help but blush at someone else listening in on their moment, even worse is that person being Eugene. _

_" __*Sigh* …" Sarah sighed to herself as she facepalms with one hand before focusing on Axton. "Is he always like this?"_

_"__More often than you think." Axton replied softly. "Worst part is, you can bet that he's going to blabbermouth about it to the entire base once he knows. There's no stopping it."_

_"__Well, I'm not afraid of letting people know. I am always proud of the choices I make." Sarah said as she regains composure before giving Axton a light kiss on the lips one last time before the night ends. "Good night, well-oiled love machine." Sarah winks as she joked, which causes Axton to fluster in brief overwhelming affection. "Meet you on Saturday."_

_"__Uh … yeah … goodnight." Axton replied with an incredibly red blush as she sees Sarah walking away slowly under the moonlight._

_"__Heh, man, haven't seen you being all flustered up like that, lover-boy? Well … Just make sure you don't screw this one up this time." Eugene said as he patted Axton on the shoulder before going back to the tent to resume his maintenance work._

_"__Hey! For your information …" Axton snapped as he follows Eugene back to the tent._

* * *

"For your information, Eugene, I never screwed up before in relationships, even with the one we had before, alright? It's just …" Axton lashed out on Eugene.

"It's just sometimes things just fall apart on their own and it's no one's fault. Yeah, Ax, I heard it a bunch of times already. Stop sounding like a broken record." Eugene replied casually.

"Aww man, I was hoping for some juicy details on Axton sex life. This is such a tease!" Gaige said disappointingly.

"And to think that the CEO of Triton corp would do such a thing …" Brandon said sympathetically. "I know what it's like to constantly have to worry about money all the time. I practically have to scrape by to get through each and every day just to get enough to feed my family. The economy is unforgiving. *Sigh* … I wonder how Mary and the kids are doing …"

"Sometimes, I just don't get these rich corporate folks." Brick said as he scratches his head. "Always having to come up with schemes to ruin people's lives in order to get more money. If it were up to me, I'll just PUNCH EVERYTHING! That is the only solution I need for every problem I encounter. If a problem couldn't be solved by punching something real hard, it ain't a problem I need to worry about."

"Or, as an alternative solution … EXPLODE EVERYTHING!" K.C. added loudly with an awesome thumbs-up.

"Hell yeah! Now you're speakin' my language! High five, little-slab!" Brick said enthusiastically as he shared a high-five with K.C. for their like-mindedness. Mordecai facepalms in response, knowing that there is another person with a mindset of Brick added to the group.

"I'm sure the wedding you two have must have been glorious." Xiao Lan said cheerfully to Axton.

"Huh? Well … yeah, it was alright." Axton said with shifty eyes as he scratches his cheek with one finger to indicate his preference to avoid the topic.

"Alright? Oh, don't be modest, Ax. It was one heck of a show. The colonel wouldn't expect anything less for her own daughter's wedding, so you can bet your ass that it's gonna have it all." Eugene added excitedly. "We're talking about a grand military-styled wedding on a top-class aircraft carrier battleship, 21-gun salute, acrobatic fighter jet demonstrations … everything."

"That seems … a bit excessive for a wedding, don't you think?" Maya asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Who CARES?! That sounds AWESOME! I wish I would have a wedding like that …" Gaige said with starry eyes before he climbed onto Axton's back and playfully hit Axton's head with her fists. "AXTON, YOU LUCKY JERK!"

"Ow, hey, cut it out!" Axton complained before shoving Gaige away. "For your information, both Sarah and I thought it was a bit excessive, but the Colonel insisted, and … well I don't think anyone should ever disagree with the Colonel in any way, so … yeah, we have a fairly decent wedding. In the end, Sarah and I dated for 3 years, married for two years, and I honestly enjoyed every second I spent with her." Axton said that last sentence with a bit of affection and a bit of remorse.

"Yep … right until she divorced your ass." Eugene added as he placed both hands behind his head. "Or was it the other way around? I really couldn't tell, even up until now."

"For the last time, I did what I have to do." Axton said with gritted anger.

"Yeah, remind me again what you had to do? What was it that caused the divorce and you ended up having a bounty from Dahl?" Lilith asked curiously.

"The short version? Axton killed a guy he wasn't supposed to kill and ended up getting court-martialed. To be fair, that guy he killed was kind of an asshole." Eugene explained. "He was a plantation owner who runs his plantation like it's a labor camp. Low wages, horrible working conditions, and no employee benefits whatsoever. Back a while ago, he hired Dahl to provide security and to also maintain peace from some worker's strike that's been going on. The problem was that plantation is in one of the Borderland planets, so not even the Galactic Federation has the jurisdiction to touch it. So it's practically a barely legalized form of slavery. And Axton here … he just popped a rifle bullet right into his cap and ended that bastard's life right there."

"I take it that Dahl wasn't very happy about it." Lilith guessed.

"Yeah, and can you believe that Dahl agreed to be contracted into doing security work for this guy?" Axton said with mild disdain. "From the moment I heard of the deployment, I didn't like the sound of it already. This guy is nothing but a filthy-rich scumbag profiting from other people's misery, and Dahl is willing to work for him for a hefty sum of money. Even before I got to work, I smell that bastard Ethan Moore pulling strings to get that contract, since this is kind of his scene. Turns out I was right."

"You should have been more cool-headed, Ax. You should have let Sarah handle it." Eugene told Axton.

"Eugene, you saw what I saw. You know I couldn't turn away from this." Axton said as he glared at Eugene.

"No one told you to turn away, man. The situation could easily be handled even without your interference. He would still be dealt with." Eugene talked back at Axton.

"Somehow I doubt that." Axton said with spite, eyes narrowing and arms crossed. "Also, don't forget that you're the one who tried to stop me from escaping Dahl. All those years of friendship down the drain, just like that. You're just the same as Dahl, always following orders blindly, without a moral compass."

"Aww, c'mon. You know that I wasn't actually serious when I caught up with you before you got onto that airship." Eugene said defensively. "You should have figured out by now that it was just a show. If I was really serious into capturing you and handing you to Dahl, you wouldn't be sitting here on Pandora by now. Give me some credit as your best bud."

"Then why didn't you defect Dahl? Why didn't you just leave with me?" Axton asked with gritted anger.

"The same reason Sarah didn't defect … it just wasn't a smart move." Eugene said smoothly as he shakes his head.

"Go figure …" Axton said as he turn his head away in disapproval.

"Um … excuse me. Can someone fill us in on what is going on here?" Lilith asked as she is curious as to the tension between the two Commandos, but also afraid of adding oil to the heated conflict.

"You know what? I'm done talking about my past. I'm not in the mood anymore." Axton grunted as he lies back on his chair while continue to cross his arms.

"Heh, very well then." Eugene said while taking his comb out to comb his hair to maintain his smugness. "You heard the grumpy Commando. The rest of his backstory will have to wait until he's in the mood."

"Aww! Axton! You're such a killjoy!" Gaige complained as she playfully punches Axton in the arm. "Whatever, let's move on to the next candidate for an awesome backstory …" Gaige glances around the room before focusing her gaze upon Zer0. "AHA! Zer0 and the Maliwan Princess!" Gaige then maneuvers across the bar until she is right next to Kazuki. Kazuki was slightly uncomfortable with the mechromancer suddenly being so close to her, but remains calm and composed otherwise. "So, you and the mysterious Zer0 of our group are quite close, hmm?"

"Before you ask … no … I do not know what's under his mask." Kazuki replied elegantly as she adjusts her glasses. "I've been wondering about that mystery myself for a long time. Apparently, Zer0-sensei prefers his secrets kept well-hidden from others, even those he has grown accustomed to."

"Some like to share them/ Others prefer them buried/ Need-to-know basis." Zer0 said cryptically as he leans against a wall and crosses his arms in a cool manner.

"Grrrr! I can't take it anymore! Every single time I tried to ask anything about your identity or your past, you always dodge the subject! Always! Well … hehehe … not anymore. Zer0! Your secret shall be revealed tonight!" Gaige shouted as she pointed a finger of determination to Zer0 before looking at all of the other vault hunters. "Guys, if we band up together, maybe we can pin him down and finally reveal his true face! What do you say?"

Most of the other vault hunters simply roll their eyes at Gaige's childish demeanor … except for two, who actually kind of like the idea and wants to play along.

"Heck yeah! Count me in! Let's boogie-woogie!" Tina shouted out loud as she stands on top of a table and pumps one fist in the air with enthusiasm.

"This plan sounds EXTREME! Whoever disagrees is one f*cked-up motherf*cker! Let's do this! With EXTREMENESS!" K.C. shouted loudly as he does a double-anarchy hand sign straight up in the air like he's pretending to be a rock star.

"Gaige-san, I suggest you reconsider. I respect Zer0-sensei's choice in maintaining his privacy and I don't think-" Kazuki urged.

"Don't think! Act! Alright, Tina and K.C.! On the count of three, we jump him! One!" Gaige yelled.

"THREE!" K.C. blurted out before jumping ahead a split second early.

"Two?" Tina said, losing count in the midst of confusion before they all proceed to lunge at Zer0.

" *Sigh* …" Zer0 sighed before vanishing into thin air, avoiding the three's attempt to grab him. Zero then reappeared on the other side of the bar before he crossed his arms and lean on the wall in a cool manner. A well-played yet simple display of his Decepti0n skill. As he escaped with the maneuver, Gaige, Tina, and K.C. missed the opportunity and slammed into the ground, resulting in minor bruises for all of them. "Amateurs."

"Grrr! Zer0! You ass!" Gaige complained as she and the other kids got back up.

Everyone saw what happened, but this is particularly surprising for most of the corporate vault hunters, mainly because this is the first time they have seen Zer0's Decepti0n ability up close. Selena, in particular, have been keeping a close eye on it, despite of not paying much attention from before.

"Skaglickin' giant BALLZ! Gray-suit guy just went POOF! He's like a ghost! Or a human-stalker! A were-stalker?!" Mama Jaws exclaimed.

"Woah, did that guy just … disappeared?" Eugene said as he takes off his crimson sunglasses for a while to look more carefully.

"Oh yeah, you guys haven't seen Zer0's Decepti0n ability." Axton said casually. "Apparently, it's something he can do."

"Huh, neat trick." Monty said while adjusting his cowboy hat.

"Scary trick! SCARY TRICK! What has the world become when people can just go invisible whenever they want?" Brandon said while trembling in fear. "And I thought checking under my bed for monsters every night before I go to sleep was enough …"

"A holographic-decoy deployment coupled with an optical-cloaking stealth system." Selena explained coldly. "The simple optical-cloaking is actually quite common, but the decoy-setup is a bit more unusual. In the right hands, the latter could be more effective than the former, since it plays a psychological trick into drawing the enemy's attention away from the user, while the user takes his time to attack the enemy with more precision and therefore more lethality. Despite of that, it's not impossible to manufacture on a large-scale, so there's really nothing particularly special about it." After Selena explained, it mildly irritates Zer0 a little bit, knowing that his special ability has been undermined. "By the way, if you ever try to kill me in my sleep with that, it's not going to work. Just a heads-up."

Zer0 tilted his head in response to Selena's comment, indicating that he is showing interest to the Hyperion specialist. Kazuki, meanwhile, is slightly shocked that Selena would even suggest that possibility.

"Selena-san, how could you say that? There is no way that Zer0-sensei would do that even if he could." Kazuki persuaded. "I have known Zer0-sensei for quite a long time. Despite of what it may seem, Zer0-sensei has a strict moral code when it comes to killing. Even if he's an assassin, he could still display an act of kindness to those who deserve it."

"Ooh, seems like you know a lot about Zer0, something that even we might not know while we were all at war with Handsome Jack. Now I'm even more intrigued." Gaige said enthusiastically as she rubs her palms together.

"You keep calling him 'sensei'." Tina intercepted with a cute voice. "If my experience of watching way too much kawaii-moe-desu anime has taught me anything, it's that 'sensei' means 'teacher'. So did Zer0 teach you anything? Like how to be kawaii-moe-desu?" Tina's knowledge is seriously lacking when it comes to Kazuki's culture, and that is causing Kazuki to sweat-drop in response to her harmlessly joking demeanor.

"How did you two even met in the first place?" K.C. asked loudly.

"Well … uh … it is actually quite interesting … you see …" Kazuki said waveringly before being interrupted by Zer0.

"Seven years ago/She was kidnapped for ransom/Her dad asked for help." Zer0 said with his signature dark tone.

"Woah, you mean you weren't just into assassinations, but also help with kidnappings as a side job?" Gaige asked astonishingly. "Wait, wasn't Kazuki's old-man sort of like a big-shot CEO at Maliwan? How did he manage to ask you for help?"

"Well … you see …" Kazuki said waveringly before being interrupted again.

"We sparred in combat/I was tasked to kill him first/Foes became friends fast." Zer0 said.

"ARGH! Why couldn't you just turn off that haiku-speaking and talk normally?!" Gaige groaned in frustration as she's practically pulling her pigtails out of her head. "That's it. You're not allowed to speak anymore, Zer0. Kazuki! Fill us in on the details." Seeing Gaige forbidding him to talk causes Zer0 to display an angry-frown face in response. [ :( ]

"Well, to start off, let's just say the circumstances of which my father and Zer0-sensei have met under were … quite unique." Kazuki explained. "You see, 7 years ago, I was still a teenager going to high school, and my father was running the Maliwan corporation tirelessly. His business policies were strict but fair and he has made as many friends as he does enemies. Unfortunately, some of his enemies don't take kindly into my father having too much corporate power and seeks to gain that power through nefarious means. That's when Zer0-sensei comes in …"

* * *

_It was seven years ago, on the planet of Eden-6, where the Maliwan corporation headquarters was located. The urban environment surrounding the headquarters was quite the sleek and clean image you would imagine of a futuristic utopian setting. Sunlight shimmers down a clean blue sky with a few white clouds drifting by the gentle breeze. The skyscrapers have a slight aerodynamic curve to it, shaping it similar to that of a fish's fin. The streets are not overly crowded as there are a few hover-cars passing by through a holographic-magnetic rail line with only minimal traffic. There is a neat balance between nature and artificial, as there is just enough trees and green vegetation to maintain beauty but also not too much to be imposing. The Maliwan corporation headquarters is among one of the tallest of the skyscrapers within the city, and within the top of the tower is the office of the CEO himself that made it all possible: Akiyama Kenji._

_"__Yes, what is it?" Mr. Akiyama said as he presses a button to activate the holographic caller-phone on his office table._

_[Mr. Akiyama. It's … your daughter, sir. She's here to see you.] the secretary at the other side of the line said. _

_"__Hmm, she came all the way here to the Maliwan headquarters? That's rare." Mr. Akiyama silently thought to himself before replying back to the secretary. "Alright, let her in."_

_[Yes, Mr. Akiyama.] the secretary replied._

_Within the large and neat office of the CEO stands Mr. Akiyama, who had the appearance of a fairly polite and handsome man. He wears a dark-blue suit and bright orange tie with a white undershirt, all perfectly dressed in neatness. The man himself seems to be of Asian-descent, with well-groomed short black hair with a natural azure-blue shimmer and tan-white skin. He wears frameless glasses and had a clean shave, revealing his lean and chiseled chin and cheekbones. Surrounding this man is also an atmosphere of no-nonsense professionalism, for he seems to always stand and sit in proper posture, like every movement he make is being measured with precision. However, since he is about to meet his daughter, he got to remind himself to soften up as to not emotionally distant himself from his daughter too much. Given the circumstances of how his daughter Kazuki was 'added' to the family, it can be difficult to form a family bonding already as it is. _

_"__Um, hello father …" someone said shyly as they enter the dimly-lit office. Mr. Akiyama turns around to see that the person was none other than his daughter, Akiyama Kazuki._

_During this time, Kazuki was still in her teens and was wearing her school uniform and backpack to indicate that she is still in school. The uniform is in the form of a neatly-made black long-sleeved shirt and knee-long skirt with yellow-line patterns. In addition to that, she wears black knee-socks and formal black-leather shoes. Also, Kazuki back then was a lot more innocent at the time. She lacks the lady finesse that she possesses today and only has the mindset of a shy little teenage girl. Her hair was let down and straightened to cover her upper back as well as two neat strands going from the front of her ears down to the front of her shoulders. Furthermore, she has an orange bowtie that is tied up at the back of her head, which looks like there's a butterfly that has landed on her head. In addition, she wears pretty much the same frame-less glasses that her father is wearing. Overall, she is just as beautiful back then as she is today, only back then she was more pure and less refined._

_"__Kazuki, my lovely daughter." Mr. Akiyama said with a mixture of formality and affection towards his daughter. "It's good to see you. What are you doing here?"_

_"__Don't you remember, father?" Kazuki said with a soft voice as she is rubbing her fingers together as an act of shyness. "Today's your birthday."_

_"__Ah … oh yes … I totally forget." Mr. Akiyama said as he rubs his forehead. " *Sigh* … Besides, I don't think I can make it home tonight anyway. I got a lot of work to do."_

_"__I know. You … uh … you said that last year when I tried to prepare a party for you." Kazuki said with mild gloom in her voice._

_"__Kazuki … I'm so sorry …" Mr. Akiyama said sincerely, knowing full well that last year Kazuki poured her heart into preparing for a surprise birthday for his father and, because of work, he never went home that night to enjoy it. Mr. Akiyama feel incredible regret for making his daughter feel so bad, but at the same time see nothing else that he could have done. Being the CEO of a company as large as Maliwan isn't something that allows much free time for anything else, especially for family._

_"__It's alright. That's why I've come prepared this time." Kazuki said with revived delight as she takes off her backpack and places it on the desk before taking out a small package out of her backpack. It seems like a small cardboard box wrapped with red ribbon. "Since today's Friday, I've decided to get off school as early as possible to go back home and bring this to you. I've prepared this with the help of Kaito onii-sama (brother) last night." Kazuki opened the box delicately to reveal that what's inside it is … a small coffee-chocolate birthday cake. It's so beautifully decorated with strawberries and white-frosting that it's appearance alone could rival that of fancy high-class restaurants, yet Kazuki claimed that it was homemade. When Mr. Akiyama saw this, he was basically speechless due to how happy he suddenly feels having a daughter who cares this much for him. If he wasn't a full-grown man, he would have cried tears of joy by now, although that is still quite tempting for him to do. "I know you are busy with work, so I made this small enough so that it's quick and easy to eat and not have to take up most of your time. Also, it's coffee-chocolate, your favorite flavor, if I recall. I hope you enjoy the cake, father. Happy birthday."_

_While being overwhelmed by this tender happiness, Mr. Akiyama proceed to gently reach out to Kazuki and give her a loving hug. Kazuki accepted the embrace, knowing that her father knows that there are people out there who care about him._

_"__Kazuki … I don't know what to say … this is beautiful … you are too kind … what did I ever do to deserve a kind and caring daughter like you." Mr. Akiyama said lovingly as he pulls away from the hug and look at Kazuki with loving affection._

_"__Well … I'm not the only family you have. There's Kaito onii-sama, who contributed to making this cake. There's also … well …" Kazuki said softly. " … there's also Yukiko okaa-san (mother) and Kouta onii-san (brother)."_

_Immediately after hearing the last part of that statement, Mr. Akiyama's face turns sour. It's as if the last two people that Kazuki mentioned had a bad history with him, causing him to display am ample amount of spite whenever those names are mentioned._

_"__I prefer that you do not mention those two in front of me. It ruins the mood." Mr. Akiyama said with slight disdain. "Yukiko is like a venomous snake, always coming up with devious schemes to make my life a living hell, and Kouta … *sigh* … he's like a spoiled-pig who doesn't know restraint when it comes to consuming the wealth that his mother has provided him. Those two do not deserve your kindness. Besides, don't you remember how they have treated you all those years? How could you still be so forgiving towards them?"_

_"__They are still family, regardless of how bad they treat me." Kazuki replied with quiet resolve. "I'm willing to be patient. Someday, they will accept me as family and won't be so mean towards me."_

_" __*Sigh* … Kazuki, you've reminded me so much of your mother. Your real mother, that is." Mr. Akiyama sighed at his daughter's idealistic kindness. "Your tendency to see the good in everyone is admirable. But sometimes, it could leave you vulnerable. I'm one generation ahead of you, so believe me when I say that there are people out there who wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of that kindness of yours."_

_"__That's why I got Kaito onii-sama and you to protect me." Kazuki said with a gentle smile._

_"__Well, I doubt I could protect you all of the time. As for Kaito … *sigh* … well, I have no doubt that he will do the same. Perhaps that is why he is the only child other than you who I'm truly proud of. I can see that he is protective and caring towards you, but he is also a hard-worker and is incredibly focused and dedicated into working for the company." Mr. Akiyama said before raising his eyebrow. "Must have inherited those traits from me … well, anyway, thank you for the cake. I know I couldn't attend an official birthday party, but I will always appreciate for what you did." Mr. Akiyama then leans forward to gently kisses Kazuki in the forehead. "Now go back home safely and focus on your schoolwork, okay? Be an ace student and make me proud."_

_"__I will, father." Kazuki replied with shy cheerfulness before she exits the office. "Take care, father. Don't work too hard. It's bad for your health."_

_"__Alright, *chuckles* I'll keep that in mind." Mr. Akiyama said gleefully as he accompanies Kazuki out of the office door. "Goodbye, my daughter."_

_After Kazuki has left and the office door closes, Mr. Akiyama turns around to go back to the desk and proceed to enjoy his birthday cake. However, as soon as he walk back to see the cake, something strange has happened … the cake had already been sliced. This is weird because Mr. Akiyama didn't remember it being sliced before. Moreover, it looks like it's been sliced in such fine angles that it might as well be done by an architect. As Mr. Akiyama continues to stares at the strangely sliced cake, he gradually feels an ominous presence surrounding him. It's as if … someone else is hiding inside the room … stealthily watching him. _

_"__Enjoy the cake." a mysterious voice had spoken out loud from behind Mr. Akiyama, causing him to instinctively react. _

_Mr. Akiyama swiftly activates a small SDU-device concealed under his sleeve that allows him to digistruct a small Maliwan shock pistol. But before he is able to aim the pistol towards the presumed assailant behind him, the pistol was sliced into two pieces within a split-second, leaving Mr. Akiyama stunned and defenseless. Immediately afterwards, Mr. Akiyama was mildly frightened to see the sharp deadly tip of a futuristic-looking sword pointed inches away from his neck. The wielder of sword had a strange appearance to him, with a sleek gray jumpsuit covering from head to toe, a curved helmet with a black face-visor covering his face completely, and … only four digits on each hand. Mr. Akiyama felt that his life is in danger, but decided to remain still as to not incite the assailant into following up with another attack. Mr. Akiyama couldn't believe his eyes. A moment ago, he didn't even notice that someone was sneaking behind him. This assailant … it's almost like he's a ghost._

_"__Who … are …you?" Mr. Akiyama said as he regains his composure and stands firm to indicate that he is not afraid of the assailant._

_"__It's irrelevant/But for sake of courtesy/My name … is Zer0." the mysterious assailant said with a calm and mysterious voice, his visor flashing a display of a red number zero._


	33. The Princess and the Assassin

**Author's note****: Yo, what's up, readers! Sorry if it took two weeks to finish this chapter, but I am pretty much typing as fast as I can right now while still maintaining a decent quality. To be honest, I don't think I've ever typed this much in all the school papers that I've written in my entire life up until now … combined. That's because the story itself is basically crawling and scratching at the back on my skull, waiting desperately to come out … sorta like a puppy … trapped inside my brain. There are just so many possibilities of how this story will end … so many twists and turns … so many jokes and references … sorry, am I rambling? I think it's because I haven't been sleeping much lately … and also I haven't been taking a sh*t for a while now … and also *ZZZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzz *snore* …**

**Oh, as for the comment about there being too much backstory, I'll take that into consideration. I thought the backstories provide a bit of depth to the characters and their relationships with each other. Plus, those backstories will be essential to the plot, as you will see later on. But, I understand your concerns and I will try to keep the backstories to a minimum so that the main storyline can move forward a bit faster. Thanks for letting me know, by the way. A good comment is always welcome.**

* * *

Chapter 33: The Princess and the Assassin

" *GASP* You're trying to kill Kazuki's old man?! How could you, Zer0?" Gaige blurted out loud as she throws playful miniature hammer-punches on Zer0's shoulder, which doesn't hurt much but annoys Zer0 immensely. "I never see you as the sort of guy who would ruin a man's birthday like that!"

"Yeah, Zer0. I know you're cold, but not that cold." Axton added with mild shock.

" *Sigh* … would you just let her finish?" Zer0 replied with hidden irritation while maintaining coolness.

"Excuse me if I haven't been clarifying enough. Please don't see Zer0-sensei as the type of person to kill without mercy or honor like any other assassin." Kazuki urged politely. "If he was indeed like that, my father may have already been dead and I wouldn't have gain respect of him like I did up until today."

"To be more precise/I gained respect of your dad/He earned his success." Zer0 said.

"Okay, so you and her father have some kind of fight going on. What happens next?" Maya asked intriguingly.

"Well, at first my father thought this was a typical assassination. However, he later realized that this is not the case …" Kazuki continued.

* * *

_Things have become quite tense inside the top office of the Maliwan HQ. Mr. Akiyama has barely moved an inch from where he's standing, yet he remains calm and fearless when facing Zer0. On the other hand, Zer0 remains almost motionless as he maintains his sword pointing close to Mr. Akiyama's neck, indicating that he is not about to attack anytime soon unless he is inclined to do so. Tension is slowly overcome by awkwardness in this particular situation as Mr. Akiyama is figuring out what to do next._

_"__I get the feeling that if you were really here to kill me, I should have been dead by now." Mr. Akiyama said with a strange amount of casualness._

_"__I'm tasked to kill you/Reason is confidential/But I hesitate." Zer0 said._

_"__Why? What's stopping you?" Mr. Akiyama asked curiously._

_"__I have heard rumors/Of the Hana Kodachi/I seek a challenge." Zer0 said calmly._

_From the moment Zer0 spoke of the 'Hana Kodachi', Mr. Akiyama's face immediately went pale with shock. Not many people knew about the Hana Kodachi. That knowledge is pretty much reserved for those within the inner circles of the Akiyama family, passed down from generation to generation. To think that a stranger like Zer0 knows about it …_

_"__The Hana Kodachi?! … How did you know about it …?" Mr. Akiyama said with a bit of fear added to his words._

_"… __Irrelevant." Zer0 said._

_"__I demand to know!" Mr. Akiyama shouted out loud._

_"… __I've got my sources." Zer0 replied._

_"__So, is that your goal? To force me to reveal its location, so you can take the Hana Kodachi from my hands?" Mr. Akiyama said grimly, _

_"__You misunderstand/I seek not for the weapon/But for its wielder." Zer0 said._

_"__I … I don't understand." Mr. Akiyama said with mild confusion._

_"… __I seek a challenge." Zer0 said, putting emphasis on his words._

_It took a while before Mr. Akiyama could get a grasp at the situation. This mysterious assailant, seemingly an expert in infiltration and swordsmanship, has suddenly snuck into a fairly well-guarded headquarters of a major corporation, cut his birthday cake, and assaulted him so that he could ask him for … a challenge. It is quite weird. Mr. Akiyama is certain that he has not encountered anything weirder in his life._

_"__You … you want to challenge me … in a duel … wielding the Hana Kodachi?" Mr. Akiyama deducted._

_"__Correct." Zer0 replied._

_"__That is preposterous! Do you have any idea of the absurdity of your demand?" Mr. Akiyama spoke out loud, as if he is being incredibly offended. "The Hana Kodachi is not a mere weapon casually used by anyone. It's a family heirloom. A work of art in the making. A masterpiece in blade craftsmanship. It's a respected item that has been passed down through generations within the Akiyama family to symbolize human's pure and untainted mastery of the elements. For as long as the Maliwan corporation have existed, there has been the Hana Kodachi. To see that someone like you desiring to challenge me using the Hana Kodachi is a direct insult to the weapon itself."_

_"__On the contrary/I seek to confirm legends/It equates respect." Zer0 replied._

_"__How dare you try to feign respect with your ignorance, you … you …" Mr. Akiyama said with outrage before pausing to think for a second. "Wait a minute … are you speaking in haiku?"_

_" …" __Zer0 paused in silence for a few seconds._

_"__That strange arrangement of words of which you have repeatedly spoken in with persistent consistency … the pattern of which you have delivered … there's no doubt about it. You are speaking in haiku!" Mr. Akiyama said in revelation. "Are … are you only capable of speaking in haiku and short phrases? Or was this an obsession?"_

_" … __irrelevant." Zer0 replied._

_"… __*sigh* … I suppose it's pointless to divulge if you do not wish to reveal." Mr. Akiyama said understandably. "But the point remains. I will not show you the Hana Kodachi. I will not have a duel with you using the Hana Kodachi. Consider your desires … unobtainable."_

_"__It is such a shame/I look forward to this fight/I crave the challenge." Zer0 said with mild disappointment._

_"__Well, what do you seek to do about it? Threaten to kill me?" Mr. Akiyama said with a hint of doubt._

_Zer0 takes a moment to think for a while before turning his head to look at the cake on the table. Mr. Akiyama sees Zer0 shifting his focus towards the cake and could already get the hint of what Zer0 is implying. This evidently causes Mr. Akiyama to burst into anger._

_"__You wouldn't …" Mr. Akiyama said with hidden rage as he glared at Zer0._

_"__I'm considering …" Zer0 said with a bit of sly._

_"__You leave her out of this! I swear to God, if you dare touch her, I'll-" Mr. Akiyama shouted before being interrupted when Zer0 vanished into thin air and quickly reappear at the back of Mr. Akiyama. This time, Zer0 wield his sword so that the blade is placed firmly onto Mr. Akiyama's neck without it actually cutting the skin. Mr. Akiyama is furious that Zer0 would use his daughter as leverage, but at the same time, he is also afraid of Zer0._

_"__You'll do what, exactly?" Zer0 said, indicating that if Zer0 wants something done, not even Mr. Akiyama himself is able to stop him._

_"__Please, don't involve her in this. She's precious to me." Mr. Akiyama pleaded, contrasted to his angry tone of voice from before. _

_"__If that is the case/Protect honor of the blade/As you protect her." Zer0 said, indicating that Mr. Akiyama should know what he needs to do._

_Mr. Akiyama has to swallow hard to mentally prepare himself for what he is about to do. He knows this man … this mysterious challenger by the name of Zer0 … is a serious man. Therefore, he must be just as serious in terms of meeting with his demands._

_" __*sigh* … fine. I'll fight you … using the Hana Kodachi." Mr. Akiyama said compliantly, allowing Zer0 to relinquish his blade from Mr. Akiyama's neck. "The blade is being kept in a safe place. I'll show you where it is."_

_"__Wait …" Zer0 said, halting Mr. Akiyama by lightly holding him on the shoulder._

_"__What is it this time?" Mr. Akiyama said with slight annoyance as he turns around to face Zer0._

_" … __finish the cake." Zer0 said._

_Those words surprised Mr. Akiyama a little. He thought that this guy, by the name of Zer0, is a heartless and cold-blooded killer seeking for the next fight for the sake of the thrill. He would never have expected Zer0 to actually … let him enjoy the cake that is made by his own lovely daughter._

_"… __did … did I hear it right? You want me to finish the cake?" Mr. Akiyama asked intriguingly._

_"__She displays hard work/An example of kind love/Should not be wasted." Zer0 said._

_"__Well … that was unexpected." Mr. Akiyama commented astonishingly. "To think someone like you would understand something like a father's love. You are certainly a strange man, Zer0-san." _

_"__Take your time to taste/ But also not be too slow/ I'm not that patient." Zer0 said, urging Mr. Akiyama to proceed._

_"__Hmph … very well, then." Mr. Akiyama said before taking his seat besides the desk and enjoys the birthday cake that was so wonderfully crafted by his caring daughter._

_As Mr. Akiyama was slowly taking every bite of the cake, Zer0 was sitting at a chair from across the desk, staring patiently at him. While it is strange for someone to be watching him eat his birthday cake, Mr. Akiyama tries to ignore his predicament so that he can enjoy the cake to his fullest. As Mr. Akiyama delicately digs in with his fork, he slowly savors the taste of each bite. Although it might look pretty on the outside, it only tastes objectively average when you actually eat it. Kazuki may have been a talented visual artist as it is apparent from the cake decorations, but she was never very good in terms of the flavoring of her cooking. However, it doesn't matter to Mr. Akiyama. The cake was made with Kazuki's passionate effort, so he couldn't help but enjoy every bite of it. When he's finally done with the cake, he gently wipes his mouth with a napkin and tosses the plate into the trash bin in order to maintain the cleanliness of his office._

_"__How was the cake?" Zer0 asked._

_"__It was … good. It was made from a daughter's love towards her father. Of course the taste would be excellent." Mr. Akiyama said with a joyful pride before looking at Zer0 staring blankly at him, causing him to be mildly confused. "Why are you staring at me like that?"_

_"… __Just so you would know/Sword was cleaned before cutting/No need to worry." Zer0 said casually, remarking that he uses the same sword that was used to slay his enemies to cut the cake and assumed that Mr. Akiyama would be concerned of the hygiene of the cake-cutting procedure._

_"__You're telling me this now?! After I ate the cake?!" Mr. Akiyama said with hilarious outrage, because of course he is._

_"__That part skipped my mind." Zer0 said somewhat apologetically._

_" __*Sigh* … I don't know how I should feel about you right now …" Mr. Akiyama said tiringly with a facepalm. "Whatever. You said you want a duel with swords, right? Let's get this over with."_

_Afterwards, Mr. Akiyama walks towards the side of his large office to press a button hidden under a small table, causing one side of the wall to mechanically open up like it's some sort of secret entrance to a hidden room. Within that room lies a handful of furniture, arranged as if it is designed for leisure and relaxation. There's a cushy sofa, a large-screen hologram projector for watching movies, a shelf of books, a high-class table, etc. By the side of that secret leisure room is a display case made almost entirely of glass resting on a table. Through the display case, you can see the precious object that lies within it: a short Japanese-styled sword patterned with the shape of flowers and colored magnificently with red, blue, green, and pink. It's as if the sword itself was an emblem signifying the purest of nature's beauty and elegance. Mr. Akiyama activates an electronic security device next to the display case in order to input a numbered code, a finger-print scan, and a retina scan, causing the display case to automatically open and allowing him to take the sword out in order to show it to Zer0._

_"__This, as you can see, is the Hana Kodachi." Mr. Akiyama said before slowly unsheathing the sword to show a small part of the blade. Instead of the usual gray luster that you see with a typical metallic sword, the blade of this sword seems to be glowing and releasing an alluring rainbow aura of colors such as fiery orange, electric blue, and corrosive green. "I assume you know quite a lot about the sword already, but let me just rephrase that knowledge to you again. The Hana Kodachi, literally translates to 'Flower short sword', is ancient weapon passed down through generations of the major families whom have worked within the Maliwan corporation. Despite on insisting in keeping with traditional values, the sword has been occasionally upgraded and altered with modern technology as time goes on. As you may already know, Maliwan prides itself in creating top-of-the-line elemental weapons. There is literally no equal when it comes to the weaponizing of the elements, and the Hana Kodachi is perhaps the finest example of that. Unlike other swords, this one is made with a special procedure which infuses a special metallic alloy with the power of the elements itself. While having the length of only 60 centimeters, each slash of the blade releases a wave of elemental damage, further increasing its lethality and practicality as a weapon. Whether it's incendiary, shock, or corrosive, the sword can transform itself into the appropriate element by the user's will to slay the enemy with incredible effectiveness. The Hana Kodachi is the pride and joy of the Maliwan corporation and to the Akiyama family. Consider yourself lucky to be honored by its presence."_

_"__Interesting weapon/But without a skilled user/Power is pointless." Zer0 said._

_"__I couldn't agree with you more. That is why I frequently train in the art of swordsmanship to prepare for the rare and unlikely chance when I have to use the Hana Kodachi in a real fight, even though it is more likely that I would end a fight with a gun instead. How ironic that this chance has actually came." Mr. Akiyama added. "People nowadays are becoming overly obsessed with firearms that not many have an appreciation of swords and other melee weapons. It's a shame, really." Mr. Akiyama then re-sheaths the sword and presses a button on the wall that causes the entire room to transform into a combat-training room. All the furniture has disappeared and what's left is an arena similar to that of a Japanese dojo, in which the floor-mat is comfortable to stand on and there is ample space to move around. "Now, before I begin, let's set up some ground rules. This is a sword-only fight, of course, so no guns or other weapons allowed. Also, you're not going to use your vanishing trick on me, are you?"_

_"__I won't." Zer0 agreed._

_"__In that case, let this duel commence." Mr. Akiyama stated before fully unsheathing the Hana Kodachi, allowing its beautiful colorful aura surrounding the blade to radiate outward. As the same time, Zer0 digistructs his own sword with a glowing bright blue blade and a futuristic design. Mr. Akiyama and Zer0 took a moment to mentally prepare themselves for the battle before they gracefully dash towards each other and clash with their swords._

* * *

"Woohoo! A fight between swords people! The duel of the ages! Flower fancy-pants guys versus the ninja-assassin grey jumpsuit guy!" Tina blurted out with her hands up in the air like she don't care, causing Kazuki to say to herself awkwardly with a sweat drop '… flower fancy-pants guy?'

"LONG KNIVES OF LIGHT SHALL NOT BE COMPARED WITH BEE-LUMBERJACKS' LUST FOR BARBECUE AND PONIES!" Krieg added in his signature psychotic raging speech, which confuses the hell out of some of the people in the room.

"Umm … I don't quite understand." Kazuki said bewilderingly, representing those who do not know of Krieg's predicament in terms of speech impairment.

"I think what he means is swords are no match with buzz-axes …" Maya interpreted. " … and also something about barbeque and ponies."

"Damn, girl. That is some twisted string of words that you're able to straighten out." Eugene said smugly.

"Believe me when I say we barely had any idea what Krieg is talking about either. We have been hanging out with Krieg for as long as Maya has and even we don't know half of what comes out of his mouth." Gaige said before shifting her facial expression from impressed to sly. "It's almost like … oh, I don't know … Maya knows Krieg by heart … like some kind of girlfriend or something."

"Gaige …" Maya whined as she blushes as a result from Gaige's teasing. Krieg couldn't help but blush in response as well.

"Oy, don't feel shame givin' skaglickin' love to the bandits on this planet." Mama Jaws said as she padded Maya on the shoulders. "I've seen plenty of bandits on Pandora, and as much as I hate to admit that most of them are scum-munchin' assholes, not all of them are bad. If this big fella over here didn't immediately attack ya on sight, he's at least half-decent." Mama Jaws then rub her chin to indicate she's thinking of something. "Plus, if ya consider body-size proportionality, think of how big it's gonna be down there."

"I'll … I'll keep that in mind." Maya said as her face turns even redder while she brushes a side of her hair behind her ear to indicate immense embarrassment.

"You, PUTA!" Salvador said angrily, shoving Mama Jaws away from Maya. "Don't share your dirty talk with Maya. Besides, what do you know about body size proportionality?!"

"I at least know more than you do, mosquito junk!" Mama Jaws replied with rage as she butt heads with Salvador.

"What did you say?!" Salvador shouted while popping an angry vein at his forehead, indicating that he's incredibly pissed-off.

"Enough!" K.C. yelled as he stands on top of a table and posing with pride. "Flower swords! Guns! Buzz-axes! It doesn't matter! What matters is that whatever EXPLODES is a win in my book and deserves my utmost EXTREME respect! … I know! I'll create a sword made of pure EXPLOSIONS! No WAIT! I'll make a gun that shoots out swords that EXPLODES! And after it explodes, it splits into multiple swords that also EXPLODES! That idea is gonna be so frickin' ORIGINAL! I cannot believe that no one has ever thought of that before! NO ONE! EVER! I will literally be the first person to come up with the awesome idea of a gun that shoots out swords that EXPLODES! I'll call it the SWORDSPLOSION! With extra exclamation marks added to its name! It's gonna be AWESOME! TO THE EXTREME!"

"Uhh, actually …" Brick tried to point out that the original vault hunters have already thought of an idea of a gun that shoots swords that explodes when they are all playing Bunkers &amp; Badasses (If you didn't remember, it's in the Borderlands 2 DLC: Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep. If you haven't played it … play it … or I stick a unicorn's horn up your sorry $$.) However, before he could speak up, he is immediately hushed by Tina, who is covering his mouth with her hand.

"Shh … don't ruin the moment for my maaaaain squeeeeeze~." Tina said silently, urging Brick to keep quiet. Mordecai and Lilith also got the hint and shall never speak of the creation of the SWORDSPLOSION! again.

Meanwhile, Kazuki was watching all the commotion of the vault hunters being easily distracted by pointless chatter and couldn't help but feel a bit awkward.

"Umm … are vault hunters supposed to be this lively?" Kazuki asked Zer0.

"Not quite usually/We are a special grouping/A band of misfits." Zer0 replied.

"I see …" Kazuki muttered to herself.

"Hey! Just shut up already!" Gaige yelled at the noisiest part of the group, causing everyone to tone down the commotion. "I'm trying to listen to an epic backstory here." Gaige then refocuses her attention towards Kazuki with child-like enthusiasm. "So what happenes next, huh? Who won?"

"Well … uh … you see, it was …" Kazuki said hesitantly before being cut-off by Zer0.

"It was a draw." Zer0 said.

"WHAAAAAAAAA …?!" Gaige, Tina, and K.C. exclaimed, jaw-dropped in disbelief, as they have been told that someone actually matches Zer0 with equal skill in a sword-fight.

* * *

_The duel was long and tough indeed, with neither side having the obvious advantage. Zer0's sword swipes and thrusts were swift and precise, leaving Mr. Akiyama little breathing room. However, Mr. Akiyama uses the ability of the Hana Kodachi smartly. Every swing of the mythical weapon releases a splash of elemental energy to keep the assassin at bay. That is why even though the Hana Kodachi is much shorter than Zer0's sword in actual length, the reach of the elemental splash far extends that of Zer0's blade. Additionally, while Zer0 is skillful and efficient in its attacks, Mr. Akiyama is graceful and elegant in its evasive and parrying moves. If Zer0 is a mighty windstorm, Mr. Akiyama is like a bamboo tree bending and maneuvering with the winds' currents but never be broken or torn down by it. The more Zer0 fights, the more he is impressed with his opponent's skills. Skills that he rarely encounters during his time as a solo assassin. Skills that is sufficient enough to be worthy of a good challenge. _

_"__What's wrong? Your attacks aren't getting through to me. Is that all you are capable of?" Mr. Akiyama said as he continues to parry Zer0's attacks._

_"__You are strong indeed/But exhaustion might slow you/You already sweat." Zer0 said as he continues with the clashing of swords._

_What Zer0 indicated is true. Although, Mr. Akiyama almost equally matches Zer0 in skill, he could barely keep up with him in endurance. Perhaps it was the old age and the stress of work that had left him with a tired body and not much free time to train himself physically. Despite of that, the display of finesse in Mr. Akiyama's swordsmanship far exceeds Zer0's expectations. Even if Zer0 were to win this fight, it would most likely be considered an extremely close match._

_"__Hmph, maybe my age has finally caught up with me. I'm not as young as I used to be." Mr. Akiyama said tiringly as he is starting to struggle breathing for air while he continues to fight._

_"__Then overcome it/With your hidden potential/Give it all you got." Zer0 said._

_"__Hmph, wise words." Mr. Akiyama said with an encouraging smile. "In that case, you shall have the privilege of seeing me giving it my 100%."_

_Immediately, Mr. Akiyama spins his entire body around while swinging his sword to create a blazing circle of fire surrounding him, causing Zer0 to jump back in order to prevent himself from being burned. After that, Mr. Akiyama rests his sword besides his waist, similar to that of a typical samurai who is just about to draw out his katana. As Mr. Akiyama focuses his gaze upon the evading Zer0, the Hana Kodachi is suddenly bursting with an elemental aura that is much more intense than before. Bright flashing colors of red, blue, and green are twirling around the blade like a miniature twister. Just when the Hana Kodachi is finally charged up to its full power, Mr. Akiyama slashes horizontally with great speed and power, causing that wave of elemental energy to flush out and take the shape of rapidly-moving and slithering beams of elemental energy. Those beams then home-in on Zer0 in a blink of an eye, hitting and damaging various parts of Zero's suit. Luckily, Zer0's suit is made to withstand that kind of damage; otherwise he would have been burnt to a crisp by now. However, once the elemental energy-flames have dispersed, Zer0 senses another attack approaching straight to his vital points. Hence, he barely have time to shift his body to dodge the perceived attack before Mr. Akiyama could pierce the Hana Kodachi dead-on Zer0's helmet. Due to Zer0's reflexes kicking in, that thrust attack only grazed his helmet a little, preventing it from doing fatal damage. After Zer0 dodged that attack by a hair, Zer0 took the opportunity to take hold of Mr. Akiyama's wrist and swing his entire body in the air so that the momentum could drive the twist through Mr. Akiyama's arm and throw him completely off-balance, allowing Zer0 to takedown Mr. Akiyama and disarm him. As Mr. Akiyama was forcefully slammed down to the ground, he turns his body to face Zer0 standing above him and pointing his sword straight in front of his face. From that moment on, Mr. Akiyama realizes he has been defeated. It took a moment for him to grasp the situation here. Throughout the years, Mr. Akiyama has trained extensively in swordsmanship. In his younger days, many people claim he is such a prodigy in the art of sword-fighting that he almost never faced a worthy opponent that could defeat him. He quite literally had no rivals that could equate in his level of skill. But now … times have changed and people are more focused into training with guns than with swords. In addition to that, he was pressured into running a major corporation, thereby forcing him to put aside his sword training. However, from time to time, he still practices with the sword, yearning for the moment when he might encounter a worthy sparring partner. But now … he is defeated in the very same skill he holds dear. Despite of that, he does not feel angry or frustrated or sad. Rather … he feels invigorated._

_"__Heh … hahaha … AHAHAHAHA …" Mr. Akiyama laughed with sincere joy as he is lying on the ground facing Zer0, leaving Zer0 mildly confused. "It seems like I have lost."_

_ "__I would disagree/You've managed to scrape my helm/It's a draw at best." Zer0 said before putting his sword away and offer a hand to pull Mr. Akiyama up from the ground._

_"__If you say so." Mr. Akiyama said with mild glee as he grabs onto Zer0's hand to get up and stand. "Normally, I would not accept anything other than a total unquestionable victory. But, despite of that … I feel no ill-will with not winning. It's strange, but … I've never felt more alive in my entire life."_

_"__Meet a strong rival/Share the thrill of a challenge/A special feeling." Zer0 replied._

_"__It sure is special. There's nothing like it." Mr. Akiyama said reminiscently. "Well, now that the fight's over, I've got to get back to work, if you don't mind. But … uh … maybe we can do this another day, when I got time on my hands. What do you say?" Mr. Akiyama then offers a hand for Zer0 to shake._

_Zer0 accepted the handshake with friendliness while displaying a red smiley-face emoticon hologram on his helmet, which causes Mr. Akiyama to raise his eyebrow a little. Afterwards, Zer0 handed Mr. Akiyama a business card. The card doesn't seem to have any special features, as it is just a grey-colored card with white letters of an ECHO-device contact number written on it, similar to that of a phone number._

_"__When you have the time/And seek a worthy challenge/Feel free to call me." Zer0 said._

_"__Oh, ok. Thanks." Mr. Akiyama replied casually. Zer0 then grabs hold onto Mr. Akiyama's wrist, indicating that he's trying to tell him something._

_"__If you do not mind/Keep this secret between us/It's a job issue." Zer0 said._

_"__Uh … sure." Mr. Akiyama said with a raised eyebrow, before pressing a button on the wall to transform the arena back to a leisure room and opening the wall back to the main office, allowing Zer0 to walk out of the room. "Wait, I almost forgot. You're here to assassinate me, right? Is it on behalf of someone who has agreed to pay you for the job? If you let me live, wouldn't that upset your employer?"_

_"__You let me worry about it." Zer0 said._

_"__As you wish, assassin-for-hire." Mr. Akiyama said before approaching a nearby wardrobe to change out of his sweaty clothes._

_"__Sayonara, Akiyama-san." Zer0 said before vanishing into thin air, leaving Mr. Akiyama by himself in the office._

* * *

"Heh, I see you and the Maliwan CEO are tight as hell. Surprised that he didn't hire you for his bodyguard." Eugene said smugly.

"I prefer the hunt/To sneak and ambush my prey/More suiting as hitman." Zer0 said.

"Well, regardless, I heard from my father that not only did Zer0-sensei allowed him to live, he intentionally kills off any other hitmen who have been hired to kill my father, allowing my father to be in the unique position of being secretly protected by an assassin." Kazuki explained. "Looking back, I think it might be more effective than regular bodyguards, as the fear of not knowing where the protector is scares of most of the people who attempts to take my father's life. Of course, Zer0-sensei could not tell my father who set up the initial assassination towards him because he simply does not know. Everything was pretty much shrouded in anonymity, as I assume is typical of these types of shady situations. My father knows that Zer0-sensei is taking a big risk in rejecting a job offer like that, since it could potentially damage his reputation as a reliable assassin and decrease his chances of being hired by anyone. It's because of this that Zer0-sensei and my father has become close friends over the years."

"A friend like your dad/It's worth me keeping him safe/As well as his kin." Zer0 said.

"You're too kind, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said with a polite bow towards Zer0.

"Zer0 is considered kind?" Gaige said with doubt before holding her chucking laugh. "Hard to imagine."

"It is true." Kazuki urged. "If it wasn't for Zer0-sensei, I wouldn't be where I am today. I owe him my life and my skills of combat, of which he patiently provided me with his training. Therefore, I do not intend to let anyone insult Zer0-sensei."

"Alright, alright, relax, princess. I was just kidding. We've been with Zer0 for quite a while now, so it's just … difficult imaging Zer0 to be more than a bloodthirsty assassin, that's all." Gaige said apologetically, causing Kazuki to pout a little.

"Anyway, you said something about a kidnapping? How did Zer0 ended up helping you?" Maya asked.

"Well … *sigh* … it was all so sudden." Kazuki said with a bit of dread. "Seven years ago, a group of strange men just grabbed me right off the middle of the street in broad daylight. I was tied-up and brought to a warehouse. Those kidnappers held me there for well over half-a-day. Of course, my father was outright furious that anyone would take me away and hurt me like that. My father is tempted to call the police, but he is afraid that it is too risky, since the kidnappers are most certainly going to kill me if they even get a hint that the police are involved. He also considers giving them the ransom money, but doesn't trust the kidnappers well enough to think that they would hold on to their end of the bargain. 'Kidnappers are scums of the Earth who hold no code of honor whatsoever, so it's advised not to succumb to their demands.' is what my father always says. So, considering all of the options, he chose to seek out the only person both capable and willing to help …"

* * *

_It was a typical evening at the Maliwan HQ, in which the setting sun displays a bright orange glow across the horizon. Within the CEO's office lies Mr. Akiyama, who is not his usual self after hearing that his daughter has been kidnapped. He has taken off his usual dark-blue suit-jacket and placed it at the back of his arm chair, exposing his white undershirt with rolled-up sleeves. His orange tie is not being knotted properly and his hair is ruffled instead of well-groomed, since he's been stressfully pulling his hair the entire afternoon. Naturally, on his desk is also an opened bottle of whiskey that is used to calm his nerves from time to time, but even that has been lacking effectiveness. All Mr. Akiyama can do now … is wait. The patience has finally paid off, as a dark figure has appeared seemingly out of thin air to show himself to Mr. Akiyama. That dark figure belongs to none other than Mr. Akiyama's mysterious friend, Zer0._

_"__You have called me?" Zer0 said as he approached Mr. Akiyama by the desk. Zer0 is mildly shocked to see that Mr. Akiyama is clearly in a lot of distress, completely different from his usual formal and composed self that Zer0 usually see him as._

_"__Please … PLEASE! They've took her! Those bastards took her! You've got to help her!" Mr. Akiyama pleaded with unrestrained despair as he clumsily approaches Zer0 and grabs him by the arms before kneeling down crying. _

_"__Relax … and explain." Zer0 said before lifting Mr. Akiyama up so that he could stand on his own two feet. Mr. Akiyama had to take a moment to steady his voice and wipe away his tears before he is able to clearly explain the situation to Zer0._

_"__There were these kidnappers. They called me over the phone, saying that they have my beloved princess, Kazuki." Mr. Akiyama explained as thoroughly as possible. "I heard her own voice crying over the phone, so I know it's genuine. They say they wanted money, and a whole lot of it. The sum is so large that I don't think all the bank accounts in Maliwan put together would be able to afford it. But that's not the point. Those kidnappers … they're scumbags! I know their type. I know they won't hold up their end of the bargain and release Kazuki. I just know it!" Mr. Akiyama then grabs a piece of paper from the desk and hands it to Zer0. "There's the location and time of the exchange written on this paper. I want you to rescue her. Do you think you could do it?"_

_Zer0 carefully looked at the piece of paper before shifting his focus to look at Mr. Akiyama's expression. Mr. Akiyama is confused as to Zer0's actual reaction, since Zer0 always hides his face behind the helmet and only displays any remote sign of emotion through red holographic emoticons._

_"__Hostage rescue … not my line of work." Zer0 said._

_"__Does it matter?! Look, I know you are a sneaky type of guy." Mr. Akiyama persuaded with great effort. "You can get to places no one else can, and find things that no one else could find. Hell, you've even broke into this building when we first met, without anyone noticing. That shows a tremendous amount of expertise. Something I've never seen before. It shouldn't be difficult for you to rescue my daughter."_

_"__That's not the point …" Zer0 said._

_"__Well, then WHAT IS IT?!" Mr. Akiyama yelled out as his impulses caused him to shove Zer0 forcefully. "I want to call the police, but the kidnappers said that they will definitely kill her if I do! I've lived long enough to know how this usually goes!" Mr. Akiyama then proceeds to sit on the ground and lay his back against the desk as he hugs his legs and cries deeply. "I've got no other options left. Kazuki …*sobs*… she's my child … one of the few that I'm proud of … *sobs* … perhaps the only one that I'm afraid I might actually have a chance of losing … you cannot imagine … *sobs* … the things I will give up to get her back … and to keep her safe …"_

_Zer0 couldn't believe what he is seeing. Mr. Akiyama is a man who can go toe-to-toe with him in sword combat, yet he is now mentally crumbled once his daughter has been kidnapped and is perceived to be in great danger. It may seem kind of pathetic, but in Zer0's own eyes, he sees this willingness to protect someone close to him as an admirable trait. To feel such agonizing pain to lose another only corresponds to how important that person is. Of all the years in Zer0's assassin career, he had hardly felt anything whenever he slays his enemies, and yet … he feels sympathy towards this man who he considers his rival and his friend. After standing for a while to watch the great CEO of Maliwan break down in tears, he gently pats Mr. Akiyama on the shoulder._

_"__That is precisely my point." Zer0 said as he and Mr. Akiyama look eye-to-eye. "She's precious to you/Yet you trust me with her life/A great deal of trust."_

_" __*sniff* … I know we haven't know each other for very long …" Mr. Akiyama said as he wipes his snot off his nose. "I know that technically you're still a stranger to me, since I barely know anything about you. But I trust you enough. I know you have every opportunity to kill me, yet you refuse to. You've even blown off other potential money-making jobs, and for what? Just so you can have a sparring partner in a sword fight?" Mr. Akiyama then gets up and places a hand on Zer0's shoulder as a sign of confidence. "Believe me when I say this, Zer0-san … you're the perfect man for the job, both in skill and in trust."_

_Zer0 couldn't believe that Mr. Akiyama just placed this much confidence on him. This rescue mission is a potentially delicate and risky one. It's no longer about taking lives; it's about saving one. Even if Zer0 is theoretically skilled enough to do it, this is still unexplored territory in his point-of-view. Even one small mistake could ruin everything. Yet, Mr. Akiyama is certain that Zer0 is able to accomplish the task. With everything considered, there is no question as to Zer0's next move. After all, Zer0 wouldn't want to leave his sparring partner in an emotionally wrecked state. People who are emotionally wrecked do not make good sparring partners._

_"__Consider it done/Your daughter will be rescued/Brought back safe and sound." Zer0 said reassuringly before shoving the piece of paper containing the location and time of the exchange in his pocket. He then proceeds to briskly walk out of the office._

_" __*sniff* Thank you … thank you so much." Mr. Akiyama thanked Zer0 with much gratitude. "I'll make sure you'll be greatly compensated for you work."_

_"__No need … consider it on-the-house." Zer0 said as he continues to walk with his back facing Mr. Akiyama._

_"__If that's what you prefer. Be sure to get Kazuki back unharmed …" Mr. Akiyama said before switching to a more intimidating tone. "… even if it means killing those bastard kidnappers."_

_"__Worry not of it/I've considered killing them/Swiftly and in pain." Zer0 said intimidatingly before vanishing into thin air._

_And, of course, Zer0 did what he promised. It's in the middle of the night and the moon is full and bright. Zer0 seek out the kidnappers and slay them with unparalleled efficiency before he brought the frightened Kazuki back to her caring father. Kazuki cried intensely in response to the emotional trauma of the ordeal while her father was there to embrace her with his arms in order to comfort her through the pain. As Kazuki cried, her gaze shift slightly to the side to focus on her savior Zer0, who is quietly watching the dramatic reunion before subtly disappearing from sight._

* * *

"Woah! Zer0, you're the man! Didn't think you would agree to rescue the princess. That's a heck lot of respect you have for Kazuki's old man." Gaige said excitedly.

"Grey-jumpsuit guy, I suddenly feel like your coolness level has skyrocketed to cosmic levels of MOTHERF*CKIN' EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly while giving Zer0 a thumbs-up. "You deserve my EXTREME thumbs-up of EXTREMENESS! TO THE EXTREME!"

"Wow, you've open my eyes, Zer0, I didn't think you'd have it in you to save a girl from kidnapping." Axton said with slight awe. "Based on what I saw you did on Pandora, I thought all you did in life was … you know … slicing up bad guys, head-shoting other bad guys, and … writing poetry."

"Well, even though I do owe Zer0-sensei my life, when I first met him, I was understandably a bit frightened." Kazuki explained elegantly. "My father didn't introduce me to him until after the kidnapping, so I was quite nervous when Zer0-sensei suddenly showed up to rescue me. I even have my doubts if Zer0-sensei was truly a friend of my father."

"As skilled as I may/The best protection are those/You master yourself." Zer0 added.

"I'm guessing your dad didn't want you to be kidnapped again. And given Zer0 is not the 'by your side' type of bodyguard, your dad also asks Zer0 to train you to fend for yourself in addition to rescuing you from the kidnapping." Lilith deducted from Zer0's words.

"That is correct. Even though, Zer0-sensei did save my life back then, and my father trusted him greatly, I am reasonably a bit skeptical of him. But I trust my father's judgement. My father could have train me personally or hire anyone else who is not a reputable hired-killer to do it, but since he is always busy with running the company and couldn't find anyone else nearly as skilled and cunning as Zer0-sensei, having Zer0-sensei to train me seems like the only logical choice. If he thinks it is for the best, then I will give it my all to train under Zer0-sensei's wing." Kazuki explained. "However, my father also does not want my training to interfere with my school work, so I am only allowed to train with Zer0 during summer break. My father even provided me with an entire resort island owned by the Akiyama family, complete with assistant workers and facilities to make Zer0-sensei's training more convenient."

"Wait, your family has a RESORT ISLAND?! As in those places that rich people get to go to vacation on?! Complete with beaches and hot-tubs and pina colada?! And Zer0 is allowed to stay there?!" Gaige exclaimed with wide-eyed disbelief.

"Well, technically, the Akiyama family owns 15 of these resort islands, as well as multiple hotels at various vacationing spots, such as ski resorts and lakeside camping resorts. My family owns a multi-trillion dollar company, so it's not that surprising." Kazuki noted politely.

"I am SOOOOOO JELLYYYYYYYY!" Gaige cried out with mocking tears flowing from her eyes as she continues to annoy Zer0 with her miniature hammer punches to his shoulder. "Zer0, why do you get to have all the fun, going to resort island and all that stuff! It's not fair! I want to stay in one of those islands as well!"

"Umm, Gaige-san … please calm down …" Kazuki urged with an awkward sweat-drop smile.

"I lack need for trips/It was for sake of training/Little distractions." Zer0 said.

"That was correct. The island setting was only there to remove distractions. Even though, it was a resort, I rarely get the opportunity to relax because of the training." Kazuki said. "When Zer0-sensei trains his students, he does not like beating around the bush. It was reasonably brutal and, in some cases, even quite peculiar, but I am able to handle it. Looking back, Zer0-sensei has taught me a lot … I am proud to call him my sensei."

* * *

_Within one of the Akiyama family-owned resort island, the midday skies are clear with only minimal white drifting clouds and a warm gleaming sunshine. The beaches are full of soft tan-white sand and the tides of fresh aqua-blue water are splashing with relatively peaceful rhythm. There is a delicate balance between the natural vegetation and artificial infrastructures on this island, as neither one encompass the other too greatly to ruin the aesthetic. In the middle of the island is a summerhouse of sorts. Unlike a typical summerhouse, this has a combined architectural design of Japanese and Western styles. Overall, it all looks very high-class and exquisitely furbished. There are several maids wearing colorful kimonos and maintenance workers around the island to keep everything tidy. Within the lobby of the summerhouse are Kazuki and Zer0, both kneeling comfortably in the form of a seiza (a traditional Japanese way of 'sitting') across from each other with a short square-shaped table in between. As they both stare at each other in awkward silence, one of the maids enter the lobby to politely offer them tea and snacks._

_"__Tea and snacks, Zer0-sama?" the maid asked kindly._

_"__No need. Thanks anyway." Zer0 politely refused._

_"__As you wish. What about you, Kazuki-sama?" the maid asked kindly._

_"__I would like some, thank you." Kazuki replied with polite elegance, allowing the maid to serve her with the tea and snacks._

_"__Now, as you may have known, Mr. Akiyama has given us the run-down on the situation and has ordered us to treat you two as honored guests with the utmost quality of hospitality possible." the maid said politely. "Please, make yourself at home on this island and don't be afraid to ask for our assistance. We will attempt to serve you with the best of our efforts."_

_"__That is very kind of you. Thank you." Kazuki said with a polite bow, which the maid responded with a gentle smile to indicate her friendly appreciation of a master's kindness towards their servants. Before long, the maid has left the room, leaving only Kazuki and Zer0 inside the lobby alone._

_"__Let's get down to it/ Purpose of you being here/ Have you been told why?" Zer0 said, breaking the awkward silence._

_"__Yes, I have. My father has explained to me that I am to undergo self-defense training under your guidance. I am also informed that you are the one who saved me from the kidnappers." Kazuki said with her soft and polite voice. She then gets up to give Zer0 a polite bow before sitting back down. "I believe I haven't properly thank you for the rescue. You have my gratitude."_

_"__You are well-mannered/ Your father has taught you well/ He should be quite proud." Zer0 noted. _

_"__Thank you. As a part of the Akiyama family, it would not dare tarnish its honor by acting rude or impolite in any way." Kazuki said politely._

_"__To be quite honest/I was at first hesitant/Never teach before." Zer0 said._

_"__I see. In that case, I shall do my best to accommodate you. I will try my best to absorb everything that you teach." Kazuki said._

_"__It will be brutal/ Train you to push your limits/ There's no second thoughts?" Zer0 said with meaningful emphasis._

_"__I understand my father's wishes. I know that in order for me to be truly capable of defending myself in any situation possible, I have to be prepared to do whatever it takes to become stronger." Kazuki said with conviction. "I have heard that you are an expert not only in the art of fighting but also the understanding of the criminal mind, which should complement well in terms of overall effectiveness. Therefore, I shall protect and maintain my family's honor by taking full advantage of this rare opportunity. If I were to undergo your training, no matter how difficult it is, I shall not falter and I shall have no regrets."_

_"__I see your resolve/ But when conditions force you/ … Will you take a life?" Zer0 said. _

_Kazuki suddenly became hesitant to answer. It is unthinkable for her to actually kill someone. She does not think she would have the resolve to do it, even if her life is in danger. But consider after all that has happened, if she were ever to be kidnapped again … or even worse … she might not have a choice._

_"__I will do my best to protect myself without killing." Kazuki said with a mixture of hesitation hidden in her voice._

_"__Too idealistic/ Sometimes, you don't have a choice/ Hesitation kills." Zer0 said._

_"__I will not allow myself to even think of feeling comfortable in committing such a treacherous act. There is always a peaceful way out." Kazuki stated with more emphasis to her words._

_"__Savage murdering/ Different from righteous killing/ Your own life comes first." Zer0 said. "That is what I teach/ There's no way I'll alter it/ Take it or leave it."_

_Kazuki don't know what to say. She is now given a difficult moral decision to make. A decision that might sacrifice her humanity. She never questions her father's decisions, and this one should be no different. But what Zer0 proposes is perhaps too ruthless to suit her ethics. Is that her father's intention all along? To have someone like Zer0 mentor her so that she can face the harsh realities of the world and be willing to do whatever it takes to survive? Should Kazuki follow the dark path that her father lays out for her so she can have the power to protect her own life as well as those she cares about? Is that power worth crossing the line?_

_"__I understand." Kazuki finally made up her mind. "I will accept your training principles and I shall follow them to the fullest. As long as it's for a just and logical cause, I will … be prepared to take a life … in order to save a life." _

_"__Your words are sincere/But time will tell if it'll match/With your own actions." Zer0 said._

_"__I will do my best to not disappoint you." Kazuki said as she displays a polite bow towards Zer0 again. "Again, thank you for your consideration in training me. I hope we get along quite well, Zer0-sensei."_

_"… __sensei?" Zer0 said with a red exclamation mark flashing on his helmet._

_"__Correct. It means 'teacher' in Japanese." Kazuki explained. "I think it is appropriate since you'll be putting in the time and effort to teach me. It represents a sign of respect."_

_"__I know what it means." Zer0 said. "Watashi wa bakade wanaidesu.[I am not an idiot.]"_

_ "__Oh, so you know Japanese, I see." Kazuki said with surprised excitement. "I could have figured your strange persistence with speaking in haiku is not a coincidence. Haiku is, after all, perhaps the most popular and famous form of Japanese poetry. *Clears throat* I am quite honored/To be taught under your guide/I shall train quite hard."_

_"…" __Zer0 couldn't help but pause for a silent moment as he displays three ellipses on his helmet's red hologram._

_"__Umm … is something wrong, Zer0-sensei?" Kazuki asked curiously._

_"__Stop mimicking me/ It is weird when you do it/ Doesn't feel quite right." Zer0 said before briskly walking out of the lobby._

_"__Eh? Uh! Gomen'nasai! [Sorry!] I meant no disrespect, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said with a panicky apologetic bow._

_"__Don't panic with ease/ Keep a cool head at all times/ Control emotion." Zer0 said._

_"__I … I understand, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said understandably as she regains composure. "I'll keep that in mind."_

_"__One more thing I need/ Before we proceed outside/ … what's your favorite pet?" Zer0 asked as he got up from his seat._

_"__Huh? … um, I do not understand the purpose of that question." Kazuki said confusingly._

_"__Just answer." Zer0 said._

_"__Well, in the Akiyama household, we are not allowed to keep pets. My … new mother wouldn't let me." Kazuki said with mild sadness before letting her eyes wander in order to think carefully. "But if I were to choose … it would be a small bunny rabbit." Kazuki then displays a blushed smile. "They are … quite cute."_

_"__I see …" Zer0 said before he proceeds to walk out of the lobby. "That's enough questions/ Let's start with fitness training/ To gauge your physique."_

_"__Hai, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki agreed with polite enthusiasm as she gets up as well to follow Zer0 out of the lobby._

_And so, the training has begun. Over the course of a couple of months within the summer break, Zer0 mainly teaches Kazuki in fitness training and a style of martial arts that utilizes grace and balance over strength and endurance. Kazuki may not start off as talented, but she is willing to work hard and is a swift learner, allowing her to grasp certain concepts quickly. After the summer break, Zer0 thinks Kazuki is sufficient enough to handle minor threats, but Mr. Akiyama still thinks it wouldn't hurt for Kazuki to train some more under Zer0. So as the years go by, every summer break, Kazuki would go to the same resort island and learn more about self-defense from Zer0. This is currently their second year together …_

_"__Zer0-sensei!" Kazuki yelled happily as she waves her arm hello while spotting Zer0 from a far distance. Currently, Kazuki just got off from the boat and is now at the docks of the resort island. Zer0 is standing on the sands of the beach not that far away from Kazuki. By the time Kazuki had approached close enough, Zer0 turns around to greet his pupil. _

_"__Hello, Kazuki/ Yet another year has passed/ It's nice to see you." Zer0 said._

_"__It was quite nice to see you again as well, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said with a polite smile. "Things have been going well for me. I've kept up with your training regimen on top of my regular school work. Many of my classmates were surprised that I suddenly became increasingly agile and balanced due to the training. It was a wonderful feeling to be praised."_

_"__I can tell you're glad/But do not let your guard down/Still much more to learn." Zer0 said._

_"__I agree, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said humbly. "I can't believe it's been over a year since we've first met." Kazuki then turns to the side to look at the far distance towards the sea beyond the beach, where the sunlight is shining brightly on the aqua-blue water and the wind is gently rattling the leaves of the trees. "I have quite a lot of memories here. It's weird but … even though it's been only a year … I'm already starting to feel nostalgic."_

_"__Training not over/Next we try something different/Follow me, kindly." Zer0 said before walking away from the beach and towards the direction of the summerhouse._

_"__Hai, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said joyfully before she follows Zer0 while carrying her luggage._

_They are now at the summerhouse, in the same lobby where they first met up at the beginning of the training. However, there is one particular object added to the room: some sort of box-shaped object covered by a blanket on top of a table. Kazuki is a bit confused as to what it could be, but Zer0 seems to know what it is._

_"__Remind me again/Of your favorite animal/What is it, again?" Zer0 said as he turns around to face Kazuki._

_"__Oh, it's a bunny rabbit. Hmm, seems kind of strange that you brought it up now. Why ask me again now, all of a sudden?" Kazuki asked curiously._

_"__In that case …" Zer0 said before pulling the blanket away to reveal … a small wooden cage with a small white bunny rabbit in it. "Would this suffice?"_

_" __*Gasp* …" The moment Kazuki saw the bunny rabbit, her eyes practically sparkled as she could barely contain her enormous amount of excitement and joy bursting out of her heart and flowing through her entire body. She felt like she had almost yelped out loud and jump for joy. It's like she has immediately turned into a different person, going from the usual calm and polite, like a refined milady, to excited and jittery, like a freak-out fangirl. It feels like Christmas has come early and is happening every single day of the year. That is just how happy she is feeling at the moment right now. After a while of staring with her bright starry eyes, Kazuki instinctively picks up the bunny rabbit in order to get a closer look at it to make sure it is real. "It's … adooooooorable~!" Imagine, if you will, Kazuki doing a dumb but cute smile as she is now attempting to rub her cheeks against the bunny rabbit's fur. (Oh come on, you KNOW you want to do it as well if given the chance.)_

_"__I believe it is suitable." Zer0 said._

_"__It's perfect~! There are no words to describe how cute it is~! This is just … you brought this for me?" Kazuki said gleefully as she cuddles the bunny._

_"__Don't thank me just yet/It is part of the training/Take good care of it." Zer0 said._

_"__Eh? Taking care of this cute little bunny is part of my training? What does this have to do with defending myself?" Kazuki asked curiously._

_"__The answer will come/Care for it throughout the break/Then I will assess." Zer0 said._

_"__Hmm, you are quite cryptic, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said with a raised eyebrow before switching back to a more cutesy girly voice. "Very well then, I shall take good care of you~. Hmm, what should I name you~? Your fur is so white~. I know! I'll call you Shiro~. It means white in Japanese~. It's perfect~! Hello, Shiro-chan~. *Gasp* It kind of sounds like Zer0. Shiro … Zer0 … *giggle* … From now on, I shall take good care of you, okay?"_

_The bunny responded by twitching its nose a little, which is adorable as F*CK!_

_"__Kawaiiiiiiiiiii~! That's a yes, then, Shiro-chan~!" Kazuki said joyfully as she snuggles the bunny with her arms and chest._

_"__Don't get distracted/ Normal training plan persists/ Take care pet later." Zer0 reminded Kazuki._

_"__Eh? Really? … I mean, yes, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said before putting the bunny back to the cage. "I'll be right back, Shiro-chan~! Don't run away~ I'll feed you something nice afterwards~. *giggle*…"_

_Afterwards, it's half-fitness and martial-arts training and half-taking care of a little ~adowable~ bunny. Kazuki is used to the brutal training regimen that Zer0 has prepared for him, but Kazuki doesn't mind as much now that she gets to be with the bunny all the time. Kazuki loves every moment of being with the bunny rabbit, so even if she were to put in a bit more effort to raise it, she didn't mind even the slightest. It is strange that with her being within a wealthy family, she pretty much could have anything in the world, but she never felt truly happy. However, once she get to own a pet bunny, she had never felt more delighted._

* * *

Both Kazuki and Zer0 could sense it. Once the vault hunters have heard about the bunny part, they could barely hold back their mocking laughter. They really didn't expect someone like Zer0 to be into something like that. It completely changes the image that the vault hunters see Zer0 as from before.

"Pfft … *cackle* … AHAHAHAHAHA … AHAHAHAH … AHAHAHEHEHEAHAH!" everybody laughed so hard, their sides are practically hurting. The laughter is especially intense with the three pre-adolescents that are pretty much dying from laughter as they roll on the ground: Gaige, Tina, and K.C.

"OH MY GOD! SERIOUSLY! I DEFINETELY DIDN'T TAKE YOU AS A BUNNY RABBIT KIND OF GUY, ZER0!" Gaige said as she continues to laugh.

"I suspect that you may be a bunny rabbit under that mask! Is that why you're using bunny rabbits like that?! Cuz' that is some levels of EXTREME that not even God himself can conjure up, BUNNY-MAN!" K.C. said loudly.

"Hey, bunny rabbits are my favorite animal, too. Especially the white ones! WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ME ONE WHEN WE FIRST MET, ZER0?!" Tina snapped at Zer0 before approaching Kazuki and lean her elbows on Kazuki's shoulder in a suave manner. "You know, Kazuki-chan~. Maybe we can work out a deal~. We could perhaps get a couple more of those cutesy-wutesy bunnies and put them in a cage together so they can MAKE MORE BABIES! I heard that bunny rabbits breed like … well, bunny rabbits. THEY BREED REALLY HUMPIN' FAST is what I'm sayin'! Afterwards, you can … oh, you know … give me one of them … or maybe a couple … or JUST GIVE ME ALL OF THEM! GIVE ALL OF YOUR BUNNIEZ TO ME SO I CAN PUT THEM IN A ROOM AND SWIM IN IT! I WILL BE COVERED IN BUNNIES AND NO ONE"S GONNA STOP ME!"

"Man, Zer0, I honestly didn't think you're that type of guy." Axton said in disbelief. "How does that even remotely related to the training?"

"A bond between friends/Quite a tough choice have been made/No laughing matter." Zer0 said.

Everyone's laughter suddenly died down when Kazuki suddenly became a bit depressed. Something must have happened and they have yet to tell the others.

"It seems like there's more to the story than it seems if you're makin' that sad face of yours, princess." Monty deducted as he covers his eyes a little with his hat. "Somethin' … tragic, I suppose."

"Well …" Kazuki said with mild gloom as she stares face-to-face with Zer0 to indicate that they both remember the day that 'it' happened. "… at first, I thought Zer0-sensei gave me that bunny rabbit as an act of kindness … but, it turns out it was for a far more nefarious purpose …"

* * *

_It was a dark calm night on the resort island. The tides are pushing and receding gently while the moonlight shines bright. Within the wilderness lies a campfire burning brightly, with its orange glow providing a nice contrast to the dark-blue shade of the night. Kazuki can see signs of a campfire all the way from the summerhouse and decide to investigate. That is because, for reasons unknown, both Zer0 and the bunny rabbit have suddenly gone missing for well over a day. The maids and workers on the island have no idea where they have gone, so Kazuki have been frantically searching for hours up until this moment. However, just when she was about to approach the campfire, she was relieved to see that Zer0 was there, sitting by the campfire and gently holding the bunny rabbit in his arms and brushing it by the ears. _

_"__Oh, thank goodness, I have finally found you." Kazuki said with relief as she approaches Zer0. "And it looks like you have Shiro-chan with you. I tried looking for both of you for hours now. Where have you been?"_

_"__It's time." Zer0 said mysteriously._

_"__Eh? Time for what?" Kazuki asked._

_"__For revelation/ To test your inner resolve/ A fearless spirit." Zer0 said before placing the bunny rabbit gently to the ground. Zer0 then took out a Maliwan incendiary pistol and hand it to Kazuki._

_"__What do you mean, Zer0-sensei? What is going on?" Kazuki said with a mixture of curiosity and nervousness as she held on the pistol with a weak grip._

_"__It's a difficult/ But accurate assessment/ … You'll have to do it." Zer0 said as he stares squarely into Kazuki's eyes._

_"__What … what do you want me to do?" Kazuki said, hoping the answer is not what she was afraid he might say._

_" …" __Zer0 paused as he turned around to look down at the bunny rabbit before refocusing his gaze to Kazuki in order to say those serious words. "… shoot the bunny."_

_Those words ring within Kazuki's ears. She couldn't possibly believe what she's hearing is real. As Kazuki stare at her sensei in silent astonishing horror for giving her such an impossible demand, the atmosphere around them has suddenly gone quiet, with only the sound of the crackling flames of the campfire and the gentle breeze of the night capable of being heard in the background._


	34. The Princess's Gift

Chapter 34: The Princess's Gift

Everyone in the room suddenly froze in shock as they try to process in their heads what the every-loving f*ck they just heard. Zer0 told Kazuki to kill a bunny rabbit. Her own lovable cutesy adorable-as-f*ck pet bunny rabbit. This is more than just simply f*cked up. This is like multiple layers of f*cked up. If you take those layers and make it into a cake, it would stack up so tall that it's basically a lie (I know that it doesn't make sense. That's why it's so f*cked up!). I don't think even serial killers or Internet trolls could compare to this level of extremely cruel f*ckery that is being produced by telling someone to shoot their own pet in the face.

"AAAHHH! ZER0000000! YOU MONSTER!" Gaige yelled in atrocious horror before she proceeds to grip onto both of Zer0's shoulders and shake him back-and-forth with great intensity. In addition, Gaige unleashes her anger further by releasing a stream of mean and barely-comprehensible rant. "How could you I couldn't believe you how could you have done this how could you have told Kazuki-chan to do this you are horrible you are cold-blooded do you even have blood I don't know you are heartless do you even have a heart I don't know whatever you are too cruel Zer00000000!"

"NINJA NUMB3R3D ASSASSIN!" Tina added to the fray with equivalent outrage as she climbed onto Zer0's back and bites on his helmet like a fudge-lickin' maniac (who prefers to lick only the finest quality of fudges, in case you were wondering). Of course, she also has her own style of angry nonsense-like rants. "You are terrible I hate you this is a fluffy-butt bunny rabbit we talkin' about that is like the cuteness equivalent to 23 babies why 23 because I said so I am going to pot-roast you like I pot-roast those 23 babies what did I say I pot roast babies oops sorry never mind NINJA NUMB3R3DASSASSIN YOU ARE INSANELY CRUEL! FO' SHIZZLE, YO!"

"GREY JUMPSUIT GUUUUUY!" K.C. yelled loudly before he launched himself in the air so he can do an EXTREMELY BADASS QUADRUPLE BACKFLIP FLYING EXPLOSIVE KICK TO THE EXPLOSIVE EXTREME towards Zer0's face … which Zer0 dodged easily, causing K.C. to smash into the ground and nearly cracked some of the nearby furniture. However, K.C. got up from the ground and brushes off those injuries like a MAN … with FULLY GROWN PUBES … THAT IS AS STRONG AS STEEL … PROBABLY! He then proceeds to stand proudly on top of a table and point an incriminating finger at the grey-suit assassin while also giving off his own style of EXTREME ranting. "If there's one thing I don't like its people who my beloved Tina doesn't like and probably a lot of other things like the color pink and my stuck-up dad and a hundred different kinds of vegetables that are supposed to be good for you but actually tastes like ass but mostly people who Tina doesn't like and I agree with Tina in that it's motherf*ckin animal cruelty to the MOTHERF*CKIN EXTREME OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU GREY JUMPSUIT GUY?!" K.C. had to pull on his ginger dreadlocks and grit his teeth to prevent his head from exploding because this is way too extreme, even for K.C. Dynamo, which is saying something.

"Umm … Gaige-san … Tina-san … K.C.-san… please calm down." Kazuki urged politely, with a sweat-drop on her forehead in response to the childish idiocy displayed at her vicinity. "Also, I prefer that you do not judge Zer0-sensei too harshly before I finish the story. So please try to refrain from hurting Zer0-sensei in any way, if possible."

"These kids are over-reacting way too much over stuff like this. Sure, it may look cruel, but it's not as uncommon as you guys may have thought." Eugene said smugly as he combs his hair in a cool manner. "Lots of armies use this cute-animal killing technique in their training regimen. Usually, it's done after they have taken care of the poor little thing for a couple of months or so. It's supposedly used to harden their inner will to kill without hesitation when the time comes. On the battlefield, you cannot afford to be hesitant when it comes to killing. Not even for a second."

"I'm afraid Eugene's right. But even so, it's still a bit harsh, don't you think?" Axton added as he looked at Zer0. "You're only training her to defend herself, not training her to be a cold-blooded killer."

"I hold no restraint/ Survival demands courage/ Body, mind, spirit." Zer0 said with his signature cool voice.

"I kinda don't get ya'll people. Ya guys munch on meat and killed tons o' bandits." Mama Jaws said confusingly as she picked her teeth with her buzzwrench. "Why ya'll freakin' out 'bout a teeny long-ears fluffy meat-bag being dead?"

"Well … pfft … sure, we may have been on Pandora and killed a lot of bandits and stuff. But this?! This is … different. This is just wrong, okay?! It's a GOD DAMN WHITE AND FLUFFY BUNNY RABBIT FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!" Gaige outraged before focusing her attention on Kazuki with her googly eyes of concern. "So what happened? Did you do it? Was Shiro-chan okay? How is he now? Is he still alive? OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE IN SUSPENSE!"

"I wanna know, I wanna know. Is fluffy-butt still alive and HOPPIN'?!" Tina added enthusiastically as she is basically clutching on Kazuki's arm begging for the answer.

"Please! For the sake of all that is EXTREME and MANLY, tell us the TRUTH!" K.C. said loudly as he knelt beside Kazuki.

"Well, he … *sniff* … I'm afraid he is no longer with us." Kazuki said softly as she acts like she's about to cry.

"GGGGAAAAAHHHHHH! ZER0000000!" Gaige, Tina, and K.C. all shouted in horror. In such a turn of events, they almost pulled their hair out in distress before proceeding to shake Zer0 by the shoulders even more … and biting on his helmet like a maniac even more … and attempt to land an EXTREME face-kicking kick to the face even more … and failing harder … even more.

" *Sigh* … Let her explain." Zer0 said with mild irritation, which calmed down the immature kids down a little.

"Well … after Zer0-sensei handed me the gun, I was at first absolutely horrified." Kazuki continued the story. "After taking a moment to realize that Zer0-sensei was actually serious, I obviously made attempts to protest on his demand …"

* * *

_"… __Zer0-sensei … I don't understand." Kazuki said in a weak voice as she held onto the Maliwan incendiary pistol. Her hands are shaking in terror, thinking that this must be some sort of nightmarish dream, for this scenario couldn't possibly have made sense in real life. And yet … all of this feels too real to be a dream, which makes it even more frightening._

_"__I have made it clear/ A test of will and courage/ Shoot the bunny … now." Zer0 said grimly._

_"__No … I … I can't … this can't be happening … I do not understand … why are you making me do this?!" Kazuki said with gradually increasing shock from the revelation. As she raises her voice to protest, tears are starting to flow from her eyes. "What does this have to do with self-defense?! What does this have to do with the training?! You … you planned this from the beginning, didn't you? You gave Shiro-chan to me so that I would become attached to him … all of this in order for you to put me in a situation like this? Why?! I don't get it?!"_

_"__Enough, Kazuki!" A strict manly voice from behind the wild bushes spoke up. Kazuki recognizes that voice, which shocks her even more, for it implies that the originator of the voice is actually here to witness this. As she turns around to see a figure approaching her, Kazuki's suspicions were confirmed. It was his father, Kenji Akiyama._

_"__Fa … father?" Kazuki wept quietly as she stared at her father approaching her slowly with a serious look. "Wha … what are you doing here? What is going on?"_

_"__I have to come here. I know you will resist in taking the test." Mr. Akiyama said in a serious tone. "I was afraid your soft heart might make it difficult for you to accept it. I have to come all the way to this island to make sure you are truly ready. Zer0 may have designed this test, but I was the one who allows it to take place. I believe it to be cruel, but appropriate. I can see no other way for you to advance forward in this training."_

_"__But … *sniff* … father … this isn't necessary … this is not right." Kazuki sobbed as she bit her lip in anguish and inner turmoil._

_"__You need to face reality, Hime-chan (Princess)." Mr. Akiyama said with a hint of tenderness in his strict voice. "From the moment you were brought into the Akiyama family … ever since you were 13 … ever since your mother died in that fire … you have always been emotionally seclusive. Sure, you may have appeared as though you are happy and contended with your life, but I know that there is always an emotional barrier within you that you cannot get past." Mr. Akiyama is now trying really hard to hold back his own tears, as if saying those words have brought back painful memories. "I know it is difficult for you, because … it's difficult for me as well. Your true mother … Alison … she was the love of my life. I know Yukiko have always hated me for having the affair, hated her out of despicable envy for providing me with more love and affection than she ever could, and … hated you because your very existence is a constant reminder of an imperfection to her version of a perfect family. I know that she purposely tries to make your life a living hell in order to secretly get back at me for all those years of spite I have towards her, of which she had rightfully deserved for being such a venomous b*tch. That is why Kaito and I tried our hardest to protect you from her and Kouta. I know it's far from the family you've hoped to have …" Mr. Akiyama has finally let out streams of his own tears resulting from pure sentiment, which made Kazuki cried even more. "… But … after that fire … after having everything you possessed been burnt to a crisp … I couldn't just let you live on your own … without a house … without financial security … without food or clothing … without a family … believe me when I said that I have tried my hardest to provide you with the best life I could possibly give you … but ever since that kidnapping … I realized that it's just wasn't enough."_

_"__Father … *sobbing* …" Kazuki cried as she finally kneels to the ground from all the emotional strife that she is feeling._

_"__Kazuki … Hime-chan (princess) …" Mr. Akiyama returns to a tone with more anger and resolve. "… you've got to understand that there are people out there who will stop at nothing to come after people like us … people who they twistedly think are the source of their poor and miserable lives … they are convinced that if they can somehow hurt us enough times, it will somehow magically make their lives better … there is no amount of convincing to make these people believe otherwise … in order to survive in this cruel world … you sometimes need to be even crueler … you have to take the first step into accepting that." Mr. Akiyama kneels down to hold onto Kazuki's hand warmly. "… shoot the bunny, Kazuki … if you don't have the will to do it, no amount of physical training will help you … in order to truly take a life to save a life, you must have the resolve."_

_" … __*sniff* … *cries* … I can't … father … I can't … *sobbing* …" Kazuki is crying with unbearable intensity. Her legs have grown weak and her hands are shaking. She is able to overcome all of the physical training that is required of her from Zer0, but somehow a task as easy as pulling a trigger to fire a gun that will result in the death of her pet bunny rabbit seems comparatively insurmountable._

_" __*sniff* … I have no choice, then." Mr. Akiyama said grimly before standing up and focusing his gaze onto Zer0. Deep down, he regrets forcing her daughter into a situation like this, but he knows it has to be done. "Zer0 … do it."_

_Immediately, Zer0 digistructs his sword and points it towards the white bunny rabbit, indicating that he is about to slay the cute animal with his blade._

_"__Wait! NO!" Kazuki yelled with tears flowing from her eyes. Before Kazuki is able to lunge towards Zer0 in order to make him stop, she was held back by her father. Kazuki tries to struggle against it, but it was no use._

_"__You've got to face the harsh reality … there is no other way …" Mr. Akiyama said regretfully._

_"__Please! Don't!" Kazuki cried desperately as her father held her back from Zer0. In this concentrated blink of intense emotion, it seems like there is no other way for Kazuki to proceed. She had finally said the words that even she didn't believe would come out of her own mouth. "I'll do it!"_

_Zer0 holds his sword still while he focuses his gaze on the tearful princess. Since there is no way for Kazuki to prevent the death of her pet, at the very least it should die by her own hands._

_"__If you are going to put an end to Shiro-chan's life … *sniff* … at least let me be the one … *sniff* … to pull the trigger." Kazuki said, tears flowing with regret from the emotionally difficult task that she is about to do._

_"__Very well." Zer0 said as he sheathes back his sword. _

_Both Zer0 and Mr. Akiayama stood beside the bunny rabbit as Kazuki approaches it with the Maliwan pistol. Before she finally commits to the task, she reaches out to the bunny rabbit with both of her arms and give it one final hug as well as a couple of sadly affectionate kisses. Afterwards, she places the bunny gently onto the ground before slowly and hesitantly pointing the Maliwan pistol point-blank towards the bunny rabbit._

_"__Gomen'nasai, Shiro-chan. (I'm sorry, Shiro-chan.)" Kazuki said with a sorrowful but determined face as she closes her eyes and pulls the trigger._

_*BANG*_

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gaige, Tina, and K.C. practically freaked out. Immediately afterwards, their rage is directed towards the grey-jumpsuit assassin as they proceed to savagely pounce on him. "ZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR0000000000!"

Zer0 activates his Decepti0n again causing Gaige, Tina, and K.C. to crash onto the ground again and making the second failed attempt hurt like hell … again.

"Such over-react/ Story not yet at its end/ One must have patience." Zer0 said.

"You sounded like the ending was going to be a bit different from what we have expected." Lilith said with a raised eye-brow. "So … what actually happened?"

"Well …" Kazuki said as she continued the story.

* * *

_The gunshot coming out of the Maliwan pistol can be heard ringing towards the ears to those who are around to hear it. When Kazuki pulls the trigger, she wants to do it with her eyes closed so that she wouldn't have to witness the death of her beloved adorable friend. However, as soon as she opened her eyes, she was amazed and surprised to see that the bunny rabbit was … alive. Not only that, he remained completely intact and seemingly unaffected by the gunshot. As Kazuki gazed at the event speechlessly with wide-opened eyes, she became increasingly more confused._

_"… __it was a blank." Zer0 said to break the awkward silence._

_"__One of the newest in development from Maliwan as well." Mr. Akiyama said as he gently took the Maliwan pistol away from his frightened daughter's hands. "Even if pointed at point-blank range, it will not emit any type of pressure harmful enough to do any damage." _

_"__Fa … father … *sniff* …" Kazuki said as her eyes starts to become watery again._

_"__It's one thing to test the will of my daughter's ability to survive … but what kind of a monster would I be if I have to actually make her kill her beloved pet to do it?" Mr. Akiyama said with a warm smile as he gently places a hand onto Kazuki's cheek to make sure that everything is okay._

_"__Father … *cries*…" Kazuki proceed to wrap her arms around her father and place her head onto his chest as she cried deeply. Those are not the tears of sadness; they are the tears of relief … relief of knowing that the test has not actually resulted in the death of her cherished pet._

_"__Remember this experience, Kazuki." Mr. Akiyama said tenderly. "There will come a time when this is going to be real. When you have no choice but to do the inhumane to save your own humanity. To do what's necessary and to do it without fear or hesitation. To make sure that even though you might not be able to sleep at night, it's better than to not be able to wake up at all."_

_As Kazuki realized the lessons taught by her father, Zer0 stands calmly by the side as he observes the emotional moment between father and daughter. Now that everything is over, Kazuki can finally pick up her pet bunny rabbit so that they can all go back to the summerhouse to enjoy a period of relaxation._

* * *

Now that Kazuki has explained the deception behind the test, the audience was even more dumb-founded than before. This is especially true with Gaige, Tina, and K.C., who felt like idiots when they were absolutely convinced that Zer0 had made Kazuki kill her own pet bunny rabbit.

"Wha … WWWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTT?!" Gaige, Tina, and K.C. shouted out loud before letting out a stream of random rant as a reaction of this bullsh*t twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan proud.

"Huh … didn't expect that to happen." Lilith said casually as she crosses her arms.

"That was a TOTAL understatement! What the incredibly unadulterated HECK was that?!" Gaige shouted angrily before grabbing Kauzki by the clothes and looking her into the eyes. "I thought you said that bunny was no longer with us! You made it sound like Zer0 actually told you to kill it and that you were incredibly sad by it and … and …"

"Perhaps I have created a misunderstanding, Gaige-san." Kazuki said calmly and elegantly as she gently brushes away Gaige from pulling her by the kimono. "I did say that Shiro-chan is no longer with us and I am quite saddened by it. But that is because Shiro-chan actually died long after the incident of natural causes. He died two years ago from poor health, which is not surprising considering that rabbits have an average optimal lifespan of 9 years, and he was 6 years old when I first got him. He died when he was 10 years old, and I was in considerable grief for a while because of it." Kazuki then looks up into the blank space of the ceiling, as if she is trying to look up towards heaven. " *sigh* … I'll always remember you, Shiro-chan."

"But … but … YOU TRICKED US! You made it look like … you know … that what you made us think happened had … HAPPENED …WHAT THE HECK?!" Gaige said with bewilderment as she flails her arms around in shocking confusion.

"Redirect one's self/ Conceal, trick, and imitate/ …" Kazuki said with coolness before slightly adjusting her glasses to add even more coolness to her words. " … Art of Decepti0n."

Gaige, Tina, and K.C.'s jaws basically dropped to the floor as they know what Kazuki is trying to do … she is trying to imitate Zer0. She is trying to use Zer0's style of trickery to fool everyone into believing that she actually killed one of her own pets in cold-blood, and they totally fell for it. As the revelation slowly sinks into their blown minds, Gaige, Tina, and K.C. now went from surprised to f*ckin' pissed-off. Meanwhile, Zer0 was watching by the sidelines and couldn't help but let out a groan in annoyance.

"You HOODWINKED us! Damn you, princess! You went to another castle without letting us know!" Gaige outraged.

"Shorty, you pulled a bunny out of a hat so that you could strangle it in front of us to make us feel sad and then reveal to us that the bunny is actually alive! Yo' a cruel shorty, SHORTY! How could you?!" Tina added with synchronized outrage.

"The level of EXTREME to that trick was SO EXTREMELY EVIL … that it's actually kind of good! Kudos to you, Maliwan lady!" K.C. said loudly with a thumbs-up towards Kazuki.

"Hey, K.C.! When have you sided with the enemy?!" Tina snapped at K.C. with metaphorically shark-like teeth and mean-looking face.

"I didn't side with the enemy, Tina! I was just …" K.C. shrugged, but before he could finish, Tina immediately lash onto K.C. and took a huge bite onto K.C.'s forearm. Usually, K.C.'s muscles are as tough as nails. Too bad the one who's biting him is not only his childhood girlfriend, she's also his one true weakness. "AAAAAHHHHH! Tina! It hurts! Stop biting me! I'm sorry! TO THE EXTREME! Oowowowow…"

"A'ight, that's the way ta go, Teeny-jaws-biter!" Mama Jaws encouraged Tina enthusiastically. "Bite harder! Bite it with what your skaglickin' mama gave ya! The harder ya bite, the more you love 'em! At least … accordin' ta bandit tradition!"

"Bandit mama! Stop encouraging her! Owowowow …! I think I'm bleeding!" K.C protested loudly as he is still trying to get Tina off of him from that vicious bite.

"Thowse wpho geft bitphten shaol noft getl forghivenf!" Tina mumbled with her disoriented speech as she continues to bite on K.C.'s forearm.

"Yeah! What she said!" Gaige yelled before refocusing her stare towards. "And YOU, ZER0, you're a bad influence on her! Now she acts like you because of it! HOW COULD YOU HAVE BROUGHT ANOTHER ZER0 INTO THIS WORLD?!"

" *Groan* … When there is Zer0/ There can only be just one/ I'm just as annoyed." Zer0 said as he faceplamed.

"Zer0-sensei, how could you say that? I am basically flowing in your footsteps." Kazuki said as she playfully pouted.

"I leave no footsteps/ That is not the way of me/ To be tracked and chased." Zer0 said.

"… is that why you have left after four years of training me?" Kazuki said with a more serious tone.

"Wait, Zer0 left you after just 4 years of training?" Axton said with awe.

"And from what I have seen from how that girl fights, she can really move." Eugene added with both hands casually held behind the back of his head. "That is quite an impressive feat in quick learning, if I do say so myself."

"… I left for reasons/ Different from what you may think/ You have learned enough." Zer0 said.

"But I see it otherwise. At the end of that fourth year, it feels like I still got more potential." Kazuki said with a slightly depressing face as she brushes a strand of her hair to her side. "It feels like I have so much more to learn from you, and you just abruptly cut it short by leaving so suddenly. To be honest … it seems like you are trying to avoid me somehow."

Zer0 paused for a moment to reflect on those words. Zer0 has unintentionally isolated Kazuki emotionally when he suddenly left her 3 years ago. Zer0 doesn't think much of it. He has always been a drifter and was never really big fan in joining groups of people. There are a few exceptions; one of which was with his current group of vault hunters (Axton, Maya, Salvador, Gaige, Krieg) of which he has grown somewhat attached to. Having been a teacher for a relatively short but memorable period of his life, Zer0 does not like it when he is being misunderstood by his student.

"That's not my intent/ Circumstanced out of my grasp/ …" Before Zer0 finished his sentence, he takes out a small object from his SDU. It appeared to be a sharp and angular knife-like object. It appears to be made out of ordinary metal, but also has a feint colorful aura surrounding it that is almost invisible to the naked human eye when not observed carefully. If any of the vault hunters have fought alongside Zer0 long enough, they would have probably seen Zer0 used it a couple of times in combat before. It's … a kunai. More specifically … it's Zer0's Death Bl0ss0m kunai. " … But I still kept this."

" *Gasp* …" Kazuki stared in slightly delightful surprise. She looked at the kunai as if she recognizes it, like it somehow triggers a buried memory from long ago. "… you have kept it all this time?"

"And used it as well/ It is useful in battle/ A show of good crafts." Zer0 said.

"Oh, that's your throwing ninja daggers that you've been using." Gaige said with a raised eyebrow. "We've all seen it in action a bunch of times when we fought alongside Zer0. It's pretty cool but what does that have to do with what's going on between you two?"

"Gaige-san … I gave Zer0-sensei that set of kunai … as a parting gift." Kazuki replied.

" *Gasp*, You did?!" Gaige said in awe.

"Mmm-hmm." Kazuki nodded before continuing the story. "When Zer0-sensei suddenly announced that he is going to leave, I was obviously distraught. We have established a strong friendship, so it's reasonable for me to feel unhappy by his departure. But I know that when Zer0-sensei does something, he always has a good reason for it, so I did not object to it. However, I also want to commemorate the times that we have spent together, so I asked my father to give me access to Maliwan's R&amp;D department. In a short amount of time but with a lot of effort, I have finally made an appropriate gift for my mentor …"

* * *

_"__Zer0-sensei!" Kazuki yelled as she chases down Zer0, who is standing calmly on the beach._

_It was the fourth summer of which Kauzki has undergone training with Zer0. Kazuki has only recently heard the news of Zer0 leaving very soon and will probably never come back. This understandably disappointed both Mr. Akiyama and Kazuki. While Mr. Akiyama understands Zer0 rather mysterious predicament, Kazuki feels that it wouldn't be appropriate for her sensei to just leave without her giving him a parting gift. Today was the last day of training between Zer0 and Kazuki, on the same resort island that both have trained for all these years. The day is coming to an end, with the sun nearly setting, giving the sky its beautiful orange glow contrasted with the dim-blue background. Zer0 was told by Kazuki to wait near the beach while Kazuki went to get something. He waited patiently for about half an hour, during of which he tries to figure out what all this was about. But now that Kazuki has came he will finally know the answer._

_"__Student Kazuki/ What's up with this tardiness?/ Something on your mind?" Zer0 asked._

_"__Well, I figured that ... since you will be leaving soon, I've decided to give you a parting gift." Kazuki said with mild shyness as she turns around to take out a small SDU. Once she activates it, it digistructs what appears to be a set of kunai to show to Zer0. "I have the Maliwan R&amp;D department made this specially for you, Zer0-sensei. I call it the Death Bl0ss0m. It's a set of kunai similar to the ones you have shown me during our training together from before. It has been modified to deal random elemental damage, courtesy of a company who takes pride in making the best elemental weapons ever created. In addition, it can also be used while you are in stealth. I thought that since you are going to be carrying out dangerous assassinations, you are going to need a technological edge sooner or later." _

_Kazuki then de-digistructs the set of kunai so she can hand the SDU to Zer0. Zer0 takes the SDU and activates it so that he can get a grasp of the different traits of the kunai. Its weight, its shape, its balance, its sharpness … everything needs to be precisely analyzed before Zer0 can decide whether a weapon is suitable for his arsenal._

_"__Hmm …" Zer0 said as he continues to get a feel of the newly developed set of kunai. After a while of passive observation, he decides to test them out by skillfully throwing multiple kunai towards a nearby palm tree. The palm tree bursts with an array of elemental aura, which moderately impresses Zer0._

_"__What do you think, Zer0-sensei?" Kazuki asked politely._

_"__Craftsmanship perfect/ Engineered with fine detail/ Couldn't ask for more." Zer0 replied._

_"__Really? *giggles* … Well, I'm glad that it is suitable for you, Zer0-sensei. I hope that it would be of great use to you on your journeys." Kazuki politely said before gently kneeling down on the ground and giving Zer0 a bow of utmost respect. "I know that you are going to leave very soon, Zer0-sensei, and I won't be able to persuade you otherwise. Consider this my sincere thanks for all these four years that you have taught me. I am truly grateful." Kazuki then gets up to look face-to-face with Zer0. "I wish you luck on your travels, Zer0-sensei."_

_"__Luck is for morons/ I prefer challenge of skill/ Thank you anyway." Zer0 replied._

_Kazuki looked at Zer0 for a while. She couldn't believe that four years has gone by so fast. It feels like yesterday when this mysterious assassin has rescued her from those kidnappers at that fateful night. Back then, she was cautiously nervous, but now, she has grown more and more familiar with Zer0 as time goes. There is no doubt that Kazuki is going to miss Zer0 for a long time to come. Because of that, she couldn't help but do what she was about to do next. She … slowly approaches Zer0 … and gave him a gentle hug. That hug was nothing special. It could easily be mistaken as a hug among friends. Yet for Kazuki … she considers this hug to be somewhat special. This sudden approach by Kazuki mildly astonishes Zer0 a little. For a few seconds, Zer0 only reacted by standing still while Kazuki enjoys the brief moment of tranquility. However, after that peaceful moment has gone by, Zer0 stepped back a little as he gently pushes away Kazuki by the shoulders._

_"__Kazuki …" Zer0 said as he stares at his female disciple._

_"__Sorry if I have startled you, Zer0-sensei. It's just that …" Kazuki said with a hint of melancholy. "… I'm really going to miss you."_

_"… __Noted." Zer0 replied back with equal softness._

_Meanwhile, there was a small animal hopping across the beach and approaching right next to Kazuki's ankles with a snuggle. Both Kazuki and Zer0 looked down to see that this small animal is none other than the white bunny rabbit, Shiro._

_"__Ah, Shiro-chan." Kazuki said with a mixture of glee and surprise as she picks up her pet. "When did you get out of your cage~? You are quite the disobedient bunny, aren't you~?" Kazuki then holds the bunny rabbit by the paws so that it mimics that of a puppet as she places the bunny rabbit right in front of Zer0's face. "Well now, say goodbye to Zer0-sensei as well. I'm sure you're going to miss him as well, aren't you, Shiro-chan~? *giggles*…" Kazuki is then compelled to rub her cheeks against the bunny's soft fur in a display of cute-ass cuddling._

_While Kazuki is fondling with her pet bunny rabbit, Zer0 turns sideways in order to walk towards the fading sunset in a pacifying manner. After being only a few meters away from Kazuki and her pet, Zer0 turns his head a little towards the back to partially face Kazuki in order to say his last words before he departs._

_"__I think it's goodbye/ Time for me to take my leave/ It's nice knowing you." Zer0 said calmly. "Keep what's taught in mind/ So lessons not be wasted/ Stay strong and alert."_

_"__I will, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki said softly before giving her sensei a final farewell bow. "Arigatogozaimasu. Sayonara. (Thank you very much. Goodbye.)"_

_"__Goodbye … Kazuki." Zer0 finally said before vanishing into thin air in the middle of the sandy beach. _

_Just as he disappeared, the sun has coincidentally set down at that particular moment, marking the end of the twilight and the beginning of dusk. As Kazuki sees both Zer0's image and the dimming sun vanishes right before her, she suddenly felt a strange emptiness washing through her from the inside. It's that kind of feeling that you get at certain moments … moments like when you have to depart from some of your closest friends and you're not sure if you will ever meet them again … it's a feeling that is kind of different from the grief that you felt when losing someone through death as opposed to losing someone through simple but prolonged departure … it's a feeling that cannot be easily described with words … a strange and empty feeling. As Kazuki finally get a hold of this feeling, she hugs her pet bunny rabbit tightly as she proceeds to walk back to her summerhouse._

* * *

"… and that is how Zer0-sensei and I met. A long story it definitely was. Brings back quite a lot of memories." Kazuki said reminiscently. "You still kept the Death Bl0ss0m. That meant you still remembered. I am glad."

"I am just as proud/ My student joins this vault hunt/ Maybe it was fate." Zer0 replied.

"Oh yeah. All of you corporate vault hunters must have been the best of the best for your own corporation to send you here, right?" Gaige deducted. "So if the princess has been qualified for this corporate vault hunt, that means that she's got some wicked skills, otherwise they would have probably sent someone else."

"Well, best of the best? I'm sure you could say that … for most of the corporations." Eugene shrugged before slightly elbowing Brandon next to him to imply that, among the corporate vault hunters, Brandon is cowardly and spineless and is definitely not a suitable candidate for this corporate vault hunt. Brandon got the hint and couldn't help but feel slightly offended.

"Oh, why don't you take that complaint to the abyss of futility and misery of which is known as Tediore's customer service?" Brandon said irritatingly as he shoves away Eugene. "It's not like I wanted to be here anyway. Corporation like Dahl, Hyperion and Vladof are lucky to have their own private militaries for them to pick out the best soldiers and mercenaries to join the corporate vault hunt. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rest of the non-military corporations to find someone like that? I mean, have you even heard of a Tediore private military?! You haven't, because it practically doesn't exist. We are a civilian-oriented firearms manufacturer, for God's sake. Our guns could be sold in a supermarket. A MOTHERFRICKIN' SUPERMARKET! Plastic-packaging and all! … *sigh*… People nowadays and their preference towards convenient and affordable protection. Remember back in the day when a conceal-carry actually requires a license? …" Brandon sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Come to think of it, I don't think Maliwan has its own private military either." Maya pointed out. "So you basically got all your training from Zer0? Also, doesn't your father think it might still be too dangerous for his daughter to go on an event like this?"

"I appreciate your concern, Maya-san." Kazuki said politely as she adjusts her glasses. "But it was my suggestion to participate in this event in order to reinforce my standing within the company. My father has agreed to this, but not without providing me with extra support and preparation. He had also hired additional help to further enhance my training and provided me with the best gear possible on this event. He made sure that I am well-trained and well-equipped for the task."

"Oh, I'm sure making you wear a fabulous kimono was part of the 'best gear possible' of the Maliwan arsenal." Xiao Lan noted with sarcastic cheer.

"Yes, from what it appears, it may look like I'm wearing a clumsy Japanese-styled traditional robe-dress, but I'm quite adept to move freely despite of it." Kazuki explained elegantly. "Also, this kimono is made of a special material that absorbs elemental energy and converts it into usable energy for my Talisman."

"Talisman?" Zer0 asked curiously.

"Ah, yes, Zer0-sensei. I forgot to show you." Kazuki said before swiftly digistructing a throwing card made of pure elemental energy from between her fingertips. "Maliwan's latest innovation. Part of the concept was actually based on your Death Bl0ss0m design. The idea was to create a system where elemental energy could be absorbed, shaped, redistributed, and amplified. The Talisman may look like just a set of throwing cards, but it has many other creative uses as well."

"Interesting." Zer0 said as he picks up the elemental throwing card and observe it with fine detail.

"Man, it seems like everyone's got their own unique toys to play with." Gaige said with wide-eyed wonder. "The Dahl guy's got a mini-tank, the Vladof guy's got a motherfrickin' mechanical BEAR … hey, Jakobs guy, you got anything to match it?"

"I'm afraid it's just me and my guns, ma'am. No shields, no grenade mods, no fuss. It just ain't the Jakobs way otherwise." Monty shrugged in a friendly manner while chewing on his stalk of wheat.

"Aww, that is kinda boring, don't you think? Pfft, whatever." Gaige said disappointingly before redirecting her attention towards the office wimp. "So Tediore guy, what's your deal?"

"I got an SDU that spits out guns which explodes on contact when I throw them." Brandon said in a boring monotone voice.

"Wooh, really?! That sounds kinda cool!" Gaige said with gleaming eyes of enthusiasm.

"Nope. It's actually way less cool that I make it sound." Brandon said with a low-brow stare as he takes out his Discount Giveaway SDU and stare at it like it gives him cancer or something. "I don't think I'll be getting this piece of broken hardware for my kids on Mercenary Day anytime soon."

" *Clears throat* …" An outside voice was heard. While the group chat amongst each other, they were all interrupted by a figure walking in from behind the bar. That figure was none other than the owner of the bar itself … Moxxi.

"Oh hey, Moxxi. What's up?" Lilith said casually.

"Sugar, I'm glad that you are all enjoying yourself, but …" Moxxi said with her signature seductive voice. "… my bar is closing up for the night, so … if you will … please wrap this up and call it a night, shall we?"

"Man, you're right. It is getting late. How long have we've been exchanging backstories?" Lilith said with mild amazement as she checks the time. "Huh … time sure flies when you're having fun. Okay, everyone. We'll save the socializing and the storytelling for some other time. But, for now, it's time to sleep, you guys."

Once everyone have heard of Lilith's orders, some complained and groaned. However, they all felt kind of tired and think it is appropriate to cut the storytelling short and call it a night.

"Hmph, finally … waste of my time." Selena mumbled with mild irritation as she walked briskly out of the bar and back to her cabin on the airship, indicating that she does not enjoy the socializing as well as the others.

" *snore* …" Oleg have been dozing off for a while now. Moxxi saw this and decides to give the large bear-clawed man a gentle shove to wake him up.

"Excuse me, sugar. Would you mind sleeping somewhere else?" Moxxi said softly to Oleg.

" *Yawn* … sorry for bothering you." Oleg said tiringly while half-asleep. As he gets up, he continues to drink out of the same vodka bottle. Moxxi looked at the giant mustachioed man in awe as he seems to be drinking at such an intense and rather unhealthy rate.

"Seriously? Hey, it's unhealthy to drink this much before going to bed. Take this advice from a lady who runs a bar." Moxxi shouted at Oleg, who appears to be ignoring her as he continues to walk out of the bar.

"Honestly, I haven't seen that man parting from his bottle of vodka ever since I met him. I doubt your advice will get to him." Patrick said sternly to Moxxi as he adjusted his glasses to add coolness to his words. "Besides, I am severely question the service of this bar. After all this time and I still didn't even have my bourbon on the rocks."

"I'll be sure to make note of that suggestion, sugar." Moxxi said with mild snide. "But for now … we all gotta get some rest, don't we?"

" *sigh* Very well then. Come on, Miss Chen. We still got plenty of footage to edit before the night is over. The deadline is drawing near." Patrick said before walking out of the bar and back to the Blue Moby airship.

"Aww … do we have to rush it~? I need my beauty sleep in order to keep myself looking beautiful~." Xiao Lan complained while attempting to be cutesy-like.

"In that case, you either going to need a lot more beauty-sleep … or you might as well not bother." Patrick said with a low-brow stare.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!" Xiao Lan snapped, going from an innocent-looking angel to an absolutely terrifying b*tch (who may or may not have the ability to spit acid) in a split-second.

" *Yawn* I guess it's time to for us to head back. Isn't that right, Camtrap?" the cameraman said while stretching his tired muscles before sluggishly walking back to the airship.

"Yes, master." Camtrap innocently agreed while obediently following her master.

As everyone proceeds to walk out of the bar, some of the vault hunters head to the Blue Moby airship while others head to the sleeping quarters in the Crimson Raider's HQ building.

"Man, that sure was fun. In my honest opinion, it needs to have more instances of people punching each other, but I still enjoyed the stories nonetheless." Brick said as he stretches his neck in response to being mildly tired and sleepy.

"Estoy de acuerdo (I agree.) Now it's time for me to take a nice long nap. *Yawn* …" Salvador added as he stretches his thick strong arms.

"Hehehe … ain't ya 'fraid that I might sneak up on ya and eat ya?" Mama Jaws teased as she elbowed Salvador in the gut, causing him to flinch.

"Ophhff! PUTA! You dare wake me up?! I'll have two of my guns turn you into mince-meat if you even come close, bandit!" Salvador snapped at Mama Jaws with a clenched fist.

"Pfft, whatev's skaglickin' midget. Sweet dreams!" Mama Jaws sneered sarcastically before walking back to her own cabin while playfully swinging her buzzwrench.

"Man, I just realized that I forget to feed Talon. He's going to be so mad …" Mordecai said embarrassingly as he rubs the back of his head. At the same time, he notices that Monty is not heading directly towards the airship and is instead heading towards another direction. "Hey, Jakobs. You're not going to bed just yet?"

"Nah, I don't feel like sleepin' at the moment right now." Monty replied politely. "The moon on Pandora is such a beauty to look at in the night. I wanna gaze upon it for a while before I sleep."

"Suit yourself." Mordecai shrugged before returning to base to take care of his pet Talon.

"Shorty, the night is still young, just like mah butt, YO!" Tina said ecstatically as if she still have lots of energy left in her. " *gasp* I know! Hey, K.C.! How about we go back to base and return to our wondrous tradition of … PILLOW FIGHTS!" Tina escitedly pumps two fists in the air and jump for joy towards the idea.

"AAALLLRRRIIIGGGHHTTT!" K.C. said loudly pumping two fists in the air and also jumping for joy in agreement. "Nothing get my heart pumping so hard that it's about to EXPLODE TO THE EXTREME like a good old fashioned EXTREME PILLOW FIGHT!"

"Oh no, you don't." Lilith warned as she padded both of the maniacal duo. "You kids need to get some sleep. It's going to be a big day ahead for all of us."

"Lily, you upset me with your motherly antics~. Remember the meme, girl. Y-O-L-O … YOLO!" Tina said with excited mischief.

"That's right, badass red-hair siren! Keep up with that attitude and you might die a virgin!" K.C. said out loud. "Then you won't have the chance to see yourself glow blue and bright while you embrace your other-half, like a whale who got high on neon-gas and electrocute himself-"

"I'LL SHOVE BOTH OF YOUR HEADS UP THE OTHER'S ASSHOLE AND SEE IF YOU LIKE IT!" Lilith suddenly flared up, turning in what's known as the Super-Saiyan of annoying acting-mothers as she displays her unrestrained wrath in the form of purple-blue light. This scares K.C. and Tina a little.

"AAAHHH! OKAY, OKAY, WE'LL GO TO SLEEP! PLEASE DON'T SHOVE OUR HEADS INTO EACH OTHER'S ASSESS, YOUR MAJESTY!" Tina and K.C. pleaded as they hug each other while trembling in fear at the presence of a very angry siren. Afterwards, they wallow in disappointment as they both departed back to their own sleeping quarters.

"Heh … children, am I right?" Maya said while watching at the sidelines.

"Yeah … they can be quite a handful, but … what can you do?" Lilith shrugged. Maya and Lilith then accompanies each other as they head back to the Crimson Raider's HQ building.

"Zer0-sensei, have a good night." Kazuki said elegantly before politely bowing to Zer0.

"You too, Kazuki/ Make sure to have a good rest/ A big day ahead." Zer0 replied, which Kazuki responded by nodding before returning to her sleeping quarters.

Eventually, the night within Sanctuary has gone quiet. Everyone has gone to rest in order to prepare for a rough day ahead. They know that, sooner or later, chaos and madness will sweep across Pandora, so they might as well enjoy every minute of peace that they can get. But, as you can see, when you put a bunch of vault hunters together, the results can be … unexpected. Some might not get along with each other, some outright try to kill each other if given the chance, but eventually they will all come together and enjoy each other's company … a company made by this gathering of both old friends and new companions. As the night continues to grow longer and darker, Monty sits by the side of one of the buildings in Sanctuary and plays his pocket harmonica in peace. Whenever he's not cooking or gun-slinging, he always finds time to play a few tunes with his various country-style instruments once in a while. Everybody's got to find something to do in their down-time apart from all the bullet-hell shooting that takes place frequently on Pandora, and Monty is no exception. After a while of playing his harmonica, he stopped playing. He paused for a few seconds to let the tranquility be absorbed into his meditative mind. After a few more minutes of peace … after Monty has taken a few deep breaths … something strange happened. Monty calmly rolls up his left sleeve to what appears to be just a regular left arm of a regular human being. But after a few seconds … the arm starts to glow. Not only that, it starts to reveal a strange mystical pattern, kind of like a tattoo running down the length of his arm, similar yet different from that of a siren's tattoos. Instead of the usual purple-blue aura, it releases a mesmerizing array of colors that are of a mixture of silver-gray and turquoise. The energy pattern is like that of free-flowing wind, twirling and circling around Monty's arm as the aura leaves miniature trails of light. Monty doesn't seem bothered by that glow. In fact … it's as if he was already familiar of this strange phenomenon for quite a long time.

"Hey, Sophia … these people are a bunch of strange wacky fellas, aren't they?" Monty is seemingly talking to himself, for there is no one else within the proximity of Monty at the moment. It's as if there is a voice within his head … a sub-conscious spirit within his mind that he is talking to. "Well, that's what makes 'em so special. Unlike you Eridians, we band together even if we're drastically different … even if we sometimes don't agree with each other … even if we fight together constantly … maybe that's what makes us strong."

As Monty stares calmly at the large moon above Pandora's night sky, the night continues to maintain its peaceful quietness. The air moves in harmony to create a windy sound, almost as if it is playing a subtle type of melody.


	35. Sheldon's Analysis

**Author's note****: Hey, readers. Sorry for taking this long to write this next chapter. A lot of sh*t has gone down over this past couple of weeks. Chinese New Year came along, so I'm obligated to hang out with my family and relatives so I can get that sweet-ass red-envelope money (all of yo' Chinese people out there … you know what I'm talkin' about ;P). Then my cousin was kind enough to buy "Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain" at a discounted price just so I could play it. I love the heck out of that game! Then, I found out that "Tales from the Borderlands" was on sale on Steam and I just had to get it and I was playing through it a few times because it was awesome and … yeah, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. So here you go, readers. Enjoy the reads!**

Chapter 35: Sheldon's Analysis

It is now in the middle of the night at the dusty but rather quiet plains of Pandora. The calmness is a nice change of pace from all the noise of gunfire and explosions that have practically defined Pandoran culture. Perhaps even the bandits need some down-time from all the heated violence. That … or they all had their butt-ugly faces melted right off from their skulls as their corpses are scattered lying around in front of a certain building belonging to Atlas. Judging by the looks of this peculiarly large red-and-black building established in pretty much the middle of nowhere, it seems to be some sort of state-of-the-art scientific research facility. Since it's the middle of the night, only a handful of Atlas personnel are working at the outer borders of the building, alongside with a couple of the Crimson Knights soldiers standing by for night-watch. While these workers did notice the corpses of the dead bandits whose faces have been melted by a particular someone, they only felt indifference as they rather not take the time off from their regular jobs to clean up the scenery. Besides … more food for the skags, right? As the night continues to remain relatively quiet, there's an Atlas airship approaching at the hovercraft landing port nearby the building. Once the airship has landed, a person with an ominous aura walks out of it. This person walks with a combination of whimsicality and sophistication. It's like if Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland was a human, that's how he would walk. The man who walks is none other than the most powerful person in the Atlas corporation … Lord Arcane.

"Lord Arcane, pleased to meet you." One of the nearby Crimson Knights soldiers said with a tone of fearful respect as he performs a salute. Additionally, there is a group of soldiers lining up parallel to his walking path in strict formation as they all deliver a courteous salute towards the CEO of Atlas.

Lord Arcane quite appreciates the formality of the soldiers, which is quite surprising since most of them are ex-criminals who are hired pretty much in bulk because it's fairly cheap to do so in this day and age. The disadvantage of this method of soldier recruitment is that most of them are not always disciplined enough to follow orders, which you would expect from a former convicts. However, it appears that when Lord Arcane placed his army under Lieutenant Sheldon's hands, his trust was not misplaced. Despite of his relatively young age and lack of prior military experience, Sheldon is proclaimed by many to be one of the most intelligent people in the six galaxies, so being a military commander seems like a job well-suited for him nevertheless.

"The pleasure is all mine, fellow Knights." Lord Arcane replied charismatically. Lord Arcane then calmly looks around to observe the various face-melted bandit corpses lying around. "Seems like you have quite a mess here."

"Yeah, well, there was a bandit raid a while ago and … uh … Doctor Violet insist on 'taking care' of all the bandits herself, even though we are fully capable of handling it ourselves." the soldier explained. "She also insists that we leave those corpses lying around to scare off any other potential bandit raids."

" *Chuckles* That is so like her." Lord Arcane said with his ominous but devilish charm. "I'm here to see Doctor Violet, by the way. I've got some business that needs to be discussed with her."

"Of course, my Lord. Come this way." the soldier said as he leads Lord Arcane inside the research facility where the siren expert is located.

Throughout the research facility, the corridors are mildly dim with a hint of blood-red light at the background, which is a bit creepy compared to what you would usually imagine with a science facility. After a few minutes of strolling, Lord Arcane arrived to a huge room lined with large weird-looking chambers. These chambers are adequately sized to fit an average-size human and are currently filled with a yellow-green liquid. If you can focus your eyes hard enough, you can just barely get a glimpse of something … or someone … inside these chambers. Lord Arcane was curious enough to lightly tap at the glass of one of the chambers with his black-gloved hands. This resulted in something inside the chamber suddenly lunging and bashing at the glass from the other side of the glass for a short while. You can hardly see what is inside the chambers due to the yellow-green fluid obstructing the view, but you can probably guess it's not that far-off from a scary monstrous creature. Any other person would have emptied their bowels by now due to that jump-scare, but Lord Arcane only reacted with mild amusement. After a brief moment of glancing around, Lord Arcane continues down the room to see a group of white lab-coated scientists working on their research. Among them are two scientists who seem to be arguing about something.

"Ugh, your theories on bio-fusion phasic-energy synthesis is, like, soooooo last century. Where did you, like, get you diploma from, old man? From pre-school?!" A female voice spoke up in a Californian 'Valley-girl' accent.

That voice belongs to none other than the chief siren expert in the facility, whose flamboyant attitude indicates that she is running this show around here. Despite of wearing a white lab-coat just like the other scientists, most of her other traits betrays that of the nerdy conservative scientist stereotype. The back of her hair is tied into a long braid and the front has a strand of hair that stylishly zig-zags across her face. Her hair color resembles that of cotton candy, with her natural albino-blonde hair partially dyed with a mixture of bright-blue and bright-purple. On top of her pale-white skin is a moderate layer of make-up, which reflects on her obsession with fashion and dress-to-impress philosophy. This includes lengthened eyelashes, dark-purple eyeshadow with eyeliner, purple lipstick, and nail-polish alternating between blue and purple. In addition of her fabulous get-up, she is also wearing a revealing purple tank-top under her white lab-coat, along with a black miniskirt combined with net-patterned leggings and long black boots. Based on what you see, we can definitely tell you one fact: she really likes purple.

"Hey, StormyBrains! Are you, like, color-blind or something?! It's not purple! It's VIOLET, GOD DAMN IT! VIOLET!" The female voice angrily corrected the author, fourth-wall breaking style, as she scowls at me while giving me the finger. (Sorry about that, Violet.)

**Doctor Violet : Also her favorite color … like, totally!**

"Pfft, that'll teach you. Now, where was I?" Violet sassily continued her lecture with one of her assistant scientists. "Oh, that's right. I was in the process of, like, telling y'all amateur nerds how totally incompetent you are. Oh Em Gee?! Seriously, guys! Have you even, like, read my scientific papers on Siren Biology and Quantum Interpretation of Phasic Energy and Dimensional-Shifting? Seriously, guys. It's not rocket science. It's not brain surgery. It's sirenology!"

"Uh, I hate to break it to you, Doctor, but that is not an official field of science." the assistant scientist replied. He is a middle-aged man with a personality that just screams privileged trust-fund baby who snobbishly acts like he knows it all.

Immediately upon hearing that statement, Violet smacked the male scientist right in the face so hard, he fell down on the floor. The male scientist had felt the full-force of that face-smack and is on the brink of crying due to this act of physical abuse. (Yeah, Violet! Smack that ass* … er, I mean face!)

"Say that ONE more time." Violet said with a low but angry tone as she glares at the male scientist who is whimpering on the ground. Despite of dressing vainly, Violet is a brilliant and dedicated scientist who takes pride in her own work. Therefore, she utterly despises anyone who disrespects her work and would not hold back smack their b*tch-ass face. "Go on … SAY IT!"

"How dare you!" the male scientist shouted with a burst of rage before he stood up and harshly scold at his supposed superior. "I'll have you know that I've graduated from Eden-5 Megaversity with honors! I'm a prestigious scientist with a lot of money and a lot of friends in the field! I could sue you for such mistreatment! In fact, I could even make sure that you won't ever get hired in the field of science ever again!"

"Pfft, uh HELLO?! Who's, like, the one and only person in this room … heck, on this entire planet … who've won TWO Nobel prizes?!" Violet argued with matching intensity as she holds up a hand with two fingers to emphasize her point. "Not one, but TWO! One on medicine and one on physics! Talk all you want, but at least I earned my success through hard work instead of being born with a silver spoon up their ass like YOU!"

"Hmph, I highly doubt you obtained those awards through … legitimate means." the male scientist said spitefully.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Violet said with teeth-gritting anger. "And please … choose your words carefully, you son-of-a-b*tch."

"I said exactly what I mean." the male scientist said with an overly proud and condescending tone. "I mean, look at how you dress. You look less like an actual scientist and more like a backstreet whore. How many administrative officials do you have to … *clears throat* seduce in order to get to where you are, hmm? I guess it's quite understandable, really. You are a woman, after all. And we all know that women are utterly inferior in intellectually superior fields such as science-"

That was the last straw. That douchebag scientist has spoken the last insult of his life. Violet made sure of it. In the heat of the moment, she swiftly rolls up the left sleeve of her white-lab coat to reveal something extraordinary etched onto her left arm … glowing Siren tattoos. As she forcefully slams her left hand onto the douchebag scientist's face, a surge of purp* … uh, I mean, violet energy bursts out of its palm, immediately vaporizing and exploding the scientist's head clean off from his body.

*BOOM* *Splat!*

There was barely enough time for other scientists in the room to react before the room was splattered with a mist of blood and all that's left of the douchebag scientist was a gory headless corpse. By the time all of the scientists had realized what happened, they were absolutely horrified. However, Violet only felt relief … relief of terminating one more condescending scumbag off the face of this universe. To add insult to injury, Violet disrespectfully spat on the lifeless corpse before she displays a psychotically angry smile.

"Now THAT is what you get for talking sh*t about a girl's style AND her career! Serves you right … b*tch." Violet said in a low angry tone before reverting back to a sassy attitude as she realizes that her hand is now soaked in blood. Even though Violet doesn't have a problem seeing blood, it still annoys her because … I mean, c'mon, it ruins her beautifully painted nails. "Aww, look what you made me do! You've, like, totally ruined my fingernails! Sh*t, now I have redo them all over again."

From a nearby distance, Violet suddenly hears slow clapping. Violet turns her head to find out that the originator of the clapping was none other than Lord Arcane, who oversaw the whole event and was quite impressed by Violet's ruthlessness and brutality.

" *Chuckles* You've put on quite a show, Doctor. Got to say … I'm impressed." Lord Arcane said with appreciation as he slowly walks up to Violet.

"Lordy! Oh good, you're here! Yeah, well, I've dealt with people like him long before I work for you. Usually, I'll just, like, kick them in the balls or something. But it is, like, strangely satisfying about phase-blasting the face of your enemies until their heads burst into blood and grey matter. Hehehehehe … Oh, uh, excuse me …" Violet said with mild delight. She was almost about to hug Lord Arcane, but then realized that her hand is soaked with blood, which prompts her to go to a nearby sink to wash off the blood. " *Gasp* *snaps her finger* You came just in time! I was just about to, like, show you one of the prototypes of my … Sirenettes.~"

"Sirenettes? Is that what you're calling them? … Interesting." Lord Arcane said intriguingly as he smirks with anticipation.

"Oh, you bet it'll be, like, totally interesting." Violet said enthusiastically. Before Violet is about to show Lord Arcane the progress of her … questionable research, she points to some scientists nearby and orders them to clean up the bloody mess that resulted from her deadly confrontation. "Hey, you two guys. You're interns, right? Perfect. Go do me, like, a favor and clean up this mess, will you? I don't like working in a messy lab. Fashionable? Yes. But that's, like, SO not what I was going for right now."

The two interns frightfully but obediently obliged. As they quietly clean up the splattered blood on the walls and remove the headless corpse from the lab, they are now starting to question their choices in life, knowing that they have to work with someone who could kill them in a heartbeat, with purpl- *gets punched in the face by Violet* … er, I mean, violet flashy lights coming out of the palm of her tattooed left hand. However, since they are interns, which are like the cameramen of lab-assistants, I couldn't give less of a sh*t about them, thus leaving their entire backstories unexplored. (For the record, you're welcome to write a fan-fiction about my fan-fiction on those two interns. It'll be like fan-fiction-ception … trademarked, of course. GIVE ME ALL YO' MONIEZ! #$%^&amp;*)

"So, anyway, I was, like, on the brink of a breakthrough here, Lordy. Come and see this." Violet said as she pulls on Lord Arcane's sleeves in an innocently childish manner, leading them both in front of one of the chambers housing one of those jump-scare nightmares that would make Five Nights at Freddy's look like Chuck-E-Cheese's. "Imagine this. An army of Sirens … a battalion of women with, like, crazy-ass Siren powers AND stylish tattoos, if I might add. Imagine that they are there to, like, obey your every command and start kicking ass on the battlefield like it's nobody's business. That would totally be awesome, right? I mean, seriously, Sheldon and his army of knights in barely-shining armor are reliable and all, but they, like, totally do not come close when it comes to making a statement compared to my Sirenettes. Having men wearing iron-clad armor and shooting regular and boring old bullets are, like, UGH … SO last century."

"My, my, Doctor, you have come a long way in such a short time. I'll admit … I am quite impressed." Lord Arcane said with a villainous smirk on his face as he stares at the chamber. "However, I'll have to … how do you humans say it? Take everything with a grain of salt? You humans have such weird sayings … Anyway, I highly doubt the mass-production of these … Sirenettes … has gone through without any sort of trouble whatsoever. It couldn't have been that easy."

"Well, yeah, there's bound to be, like, some bumps on the road or whatever." Violet shrugged. "Apparently, not everyone likes to go through the process of, like, having wicked-ass Siren powers. Uh, lame! So, for those who resist, we added a bit of, like, psychotherapy to the mix." Violet then proceeds to push some buttons onto a console next to the chamber, causing the chamber to open and allow the creature to come out.

As the yellow-green liquid is flushed from the chamber, it leaves behind a small trace of yellow-green mist with a putrid odor. The mist began to clear up, eventually revealing the creature that is held inside. The creature is in the shape of a woman, albeit a skinny, borderline-anorexic adult-sized woman. Its skin is pale to the point of snow-white while still maintaining its stylish blue tattoos on the left side of her body that is similar to a Siren's. It's almost completely naked, except for the violet-colored swimsuit-like garments that covers her naughty bits (I mean, this fan-fic is technically rated-M, but … c'mon … I still have some decency … kinda.) Her shoulder-length pale-violet hair is wet and messy, to the point where it covers most of her face like some sort of seaweed hair. Her fingernails are long enough for you to be convinced that it might have been designed as some sort of claw-like weapon. Last, but not least, those eyes … that pair of cold dead eyes … it's as if those eyes belong to someone who practically does not have a soul. Those are the eyes of Violet's monstrous creation … a Sirenette.

"Hey there, girlfriend! My, do you need a manicure." Violet said mockingly to the soulless husk of a Sirenette.

The Sirenette couldn't talk, at least not in the conventional sense. It could only screech and hiss in an incomprehensible manner, sort of like a zombie, only that it's female … oh, crap, I just suddenly realized I've basically described the witch from Left 4 Dead. Uhh … I hope Valve doesn't sue me or anything. Anyway, the moment the Sirenette sees the opportunity, she attacks Violet with a swipe of her claws, which Violet easily dodges, before running away from her in a random drunken fashion.

" *Sigh* Not again." Violet complained rather calmly, as if she had dealt with this before.

Soon, Violet finds herself chasing after the out-of-control Sirenette who is now trying to go on a confused rampage of sorts. While the Sirenette is deceptively fast, Violet is faster, as she pins down the Sirenette almost immediately and stabs her in the neck with a syringe. The syringe injects some sort of tranquilizer which causes the Sirenette to fall asleep. Violet then proceed to carry the Sirenette back to the chamber and seal it so that she could continue her research with the subject. Meanwhile, Lord Arcane calmly watches over the entire process. While this presentation seems like Violet has produced unsatisfactory results, Lord Arcane does not show any disappointment or disgust towards the whole ordeal. Rather, he seems amused, as if to mentally say 'It was a fail, but at least it was entertaining to watch, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.'

"Well, let's just say … it was a work-in-progress." Violet said with disappointing distress as she looked at Lord Arcane in mild shame. "Don't feel bad about her, though. She was, like, a death row inmate by the time we got her. All of the test subjects are."

"You assumed I care?" Lord Arcane said as he stared back at Violet with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course. Lord Arcane, the all-powerful Eridian lord who, like, probably stuff puppies into blenders and juice them for sh*ts and giggles. Why am I not surprised?" Violet said lightheartedly as she crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. "At the very least, these beauties right here will, like, totally make for some good cannon fodder for our enemies. The problem is with transporting these b*tches. There is no stopping them from, like, using their phasic powers to, like, break away from handcuffs or even metal chains. If we were to, like, carry all of them with these bulky chambers around, it would, like, totally decrease the deployment manpower-to-fuel cost ratio. Damn it! I sound like Sheldy now! That sweater-vest-wearing brainiac is starting to rub off on me."

"In other words, using these Sirenettes for battle is possible, but it would be too costly in its current state." Lord Arcane said devilishly as he glides his gloved hand onto the surface of the chamber's glass. "In that case … I have something for you that might be suitable for this particular problem."

Lord Arcane hands over a data-drive (sorta like a USB, only more futuristic) to Violet. Curious about the contents inside, Violet grabs the data-drive and plugs it into her hand-held data-pad (sort of like an IPad, only more futuristic and doesn't have pictures of fruit on them … and also isn't haunted by the ghost of Steve Jobs). She then looks through the data inside to find out that it's actually a set of detailed engineering specifications of a crude but revolutionary organic digistruct-unit known as … the Midge-unit.

"Holy, motherf*ckin sh*t. This is insane! This … I … I could not believe it." Violet said in awe as she read the specs with eye-widening amazement. "This is … like … a digistruct specification for long-term organic storage capacity! Constant atmospheric adjustment … tissue-regenerative repair within the digistruct plane … near-complete perpetual synthesis of essential caloric and vitamin compounds … OH MY GOD! Lordy, you have struck gold! This could, like, potentially revolutionize the field of digistruct technology!"

"Well, you seem a bit over-excited than I would have expected. Is that really a big deal?" Lord Arcane said with mild doubt.

"Are you kidding me?! Long-term organic digistruct storage has been one of the greatest unsolved technological problems of our time!" Violet said excitedly. "Sure we have the fast-travel system that could, like, basically do the same thing, but this is totally different! Imagine for a second … that you could have, like, an SDU small enough to fit in the palm of your hand that could, like, also trap a human-being or a large animal inside, for days, even months … without it DYING! Think of the applications! It would be the perfect prison! Or … a much more convenient way of transporting my Sirenettes."

"So you're saying this could potentially be useful for our endeavors." Lord Arcane clarified.

"Hell yeah it would! All I need is to, like, make some adjustments and, like … wait a minute." Violet said perplexingly as she looked at the specs more carefully. "These spatial parameters are all, like, totally outta whack. What the hell?"

"Is that a major problem, Doctor?" Lord Arcane asked with maintained calmness.

"Well, not a really big one. Easy fix. It's just that the spatial parameters are, like, manually segmented and fixed instead of auto-adjusted." Violet explained. "To put it in simpler terms, using this SDU to store an adult-sized human would be like forcefully shoving them into a shoebox. Or, more precisely, three shoeboxes."

"Huh … I can visually understand that metaphor. I've regularly stuffed people into shoeboxes before. Or was it cardboard boxes? I don't remember which." Lord Arcane said jokingly … or was he serious. Let's hope he is not serious.

"Huh … that would explain why it was used to store, like, three midget-sized humans without any problems." Violet commented with a raised eye-brow. "I don't know whether to call the inventor of this SDU a genius or an idiot. It's like finding out that someone as smart as Einstein is also retarded enough to not wipe their asses after they left the bathroom."

"Well, to be fair, the original inventor of this 'special' SDU was … a bandit." Lord Arcane said.

" *Gasp* You're sh*ttin' me! Really?!" Violet said shockingly.

"I thought you would have already known. She's one of the corporate vault hunters. Goes by the name of Mama Jaws." Lord Arcane explained. "There was an argument among the corporate board stating that if she were to join the corporate vault hunt officially, she'd have to lend us her special organic SDU for examination. All of the corporations had to share among themselves the specs detailing the inner-workings of this SDU, and it just so happens that my 'mole' within the corporate board was kind enough to send over this info to us. Good thing this female bandit does not know about the concept of patents. Otherwise, it would have taken a lot longer to acquire it. Anyway, haven't you watched the corporate vault hunt interviews?"

"Huh? Oh, I was, like, too busy working on my Sirenette project to watch it." Violet shrugged. "I have, like, lacking my beauty sleep for, like, the past few days … I think it's giving me black circles under my eyes, which, like, totally ruins my looks, you know … wow, who knew a bandit from a sh*thole like Pandora made this, a chick nonetheless … wait, SH*T, I just discriminated my own sex! SELF-SEXISM! SH*T!"

"Well, at least you are working hard." Lord Arcane said with mild satisfaction. "By the way … I'm also here to pay the 'Grandmother' a visit."

"Woah, really? Come to think of it, it's been, like, forever since you've last visited her." Violet noted.

"Well, I have been busy myself, you know. Being the CEO of a major corporation doesn't exactly grant you plenty of free time." Lord Arcane replied with a smirk.

"Fair enough. You know, like, where to look for her. Don't need me to guide you. She's at the Control Core, down at the basement, acting all b*tchy-like." Violet said. "Now if you excuse me … *cackles like a maniac* … I've got some, like, totally awesome research to do."

"I'll leave you to it, then. Oh … and don't forget about the vault-key locators that you've promised us will be ready soon." Lord Arcane reminded.

"Yeah yeah, I'll, like, get right to it." Violet said as she walks off from Lord Arcane to the other side of the lab.

As Lord Arcane and Violet parted ways, Lord Arcane walked out of the research lab and turn towards the end of the corridor to find an elevator taking him to his next destination. He took the elevator down to the lowest part of the basement of the facility, coming across a room deemed so important it has its own label at the top of the entrance … "Control Core Iris." The room is large enough to house airplanes, yet remains mostly empty except for something extraordinary that lies in the dead-center of it. The room has sort of a dark futuristic look, constructed into a room with six walls instead of four, forming into a hexagon. The walls are slick-black and lined with futuristic blue-and-violet glowing lights in between its gaps. There is a large machine attached at the top center of the ceiling that is build downward to generate an orange energy dome surrounding and imprisoning a certain 'someone' inside. You can even see large tubes bulging out of it, pumping Eridium along its outer mechanisms. As Lord Arcane calmly strolls towards the energy dome, his footsteps are weirdly menacing as it echoes across the largely empty and quiet room. Once Lord Arcane approaches near the outside of the dome, he gives it a light knock.

" *Knock knock* … Hello, Iris. It's been a while." Lord Arcane said with his signature evil smirk and devilish eyes.

The prisoner inside known as Iris can best be described as an elderly woman around her 70's perhaps. She is wearing a tan-colored robe and modest flat-bottom shoes. Her body frame is as long and thin as twigs of a dead tree. Her hair is of pale-violet color with streaks of gray, indicating her old age. The back part of her hair is tied to a large flat bun, while the front part of her hair is frizzled and dry as it lazily covers most of her tired and depressing wrinkled face. On her neck is a mechanical collar similar to the ones used on Sirens to control their power. However, the most fascinating feature of this old woman is perhaps … her Siren tattoos and her drooping energy-like Siren wings resembling that of a fallen Icarus. Despite of much mystery surrounding this prisoner, a couple of things are clear. She is a Siren, she is old, and she is suffering.

" … Arcane." the elderly prisoner said with a tired but angry tone as she glares at Lord Arcane while sitting on the floor inside the energy dome prison.

**Iris : Grandmother, Siren, Prisoner of Lord Arcane**

"You seem well, Iris. Have you've been eating well? I like what you did with your hair." Lord Arcane said mockingly. It is clear that he is trying to have a playful and sarcastic conversation to lighten the otherwise dark predicament that Iris is in. It is not for the enjoyment of Iris as it is for the entertainment of Lord Arcane.

"…" Iris remains quiet as she displays a grumpy and disapproving face towards Lord Arcane. It's as if she does not want to talk to him whatsoever.

"Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Understandable." Lord Arccane shrugged in a carefree manner. "However … it would certainly break the heart of your grandson if he were to see you in such a pathetic and miserable state, wouldn't it? At least lighten up a little bit … to show him that you are A-okay."

Suddenly, those words trigger a sudden surge of anger within Iris. She couldn't help but lunge towards Lord Arcane, spread her energy wings wide apart, and activate the blue-and-violet energy channeling through her glowing tattoos as an attempt to completely obliterate Lord Arcane off the face of this universe. However, as soon as she tries to activate her Siren powers, a surge of electricity is released from her mechanical collar, shocking her into submission and causing her an intense amount of pain. After a brief moment of screaming in immeasurable agony, Iris collapsed back onto the floor. This display of futile resistance caused Lord Arcane to utterly laugh out loud in sadistic pleasure.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahaha … ! You are a persistent old hag, aren't you, Iris?" Lord Arcane mocked with an evil grin. "You know very well that you could not win, and yet you try anyway, thinking there may still be hope. Besides, what could you possibly do to me even if you are given the chance? You know I inhabit your grandson's body. Killing me will kill him as well. I don't think you'd have the audacity to make that sacrifice, would you?"

"Argh … ugh … *panting* …" Iris grunted in pain as she looked at Lord Arcane in the eyes with killer intent. " … I've got nothing to say to you, Arcane … you will never be able to obtain what's inside the vault … I won't charge the key for you, even if I die …"

"Come now, please don't say that. Think of how your grandson would feel if you were to tragically kick the bucket?" Lord Arcane said with sly mockery. "If you aren't going to do it for me … at least do it for him."

"DON'T YOU EVER DARE SPEAK ON ALLEN'S BEHALF, YOU SADISTIC PIECE OF SH*-!" Iris yelled in rage before being painfully shocked again by the collar, causing her to scream even louder in pain."AAAAAHHHHHH! Argh … grrr … ughh …"

"Oh, Iris … Please do not assume that you are more important than you actually are." Lord Arcane said with his villainous charm. "An expertly evil mastermind like me will always have several contingency plans to back up my goals. Really, you're only imprisoned here for the sake of my entertainment than it is for any practical purpose. Straight-up murder-fests can get boring after a while. But it's only when you dangle someone between the thresholds of life and death do you truly magnifying their suffering. Even more so when you grab hold onto their loved-ones by the neck and manipulate them to do whatever you want. The ultimate torture of others is the ultimate pleasure of mine."

" … go to hell." Iris scoffed at Lord Arcane.

"I'd love to! Plenty of people suffering around me, fields of fire, eternal misery, visited by some of the most morally-deprived people in history … sounds like the perfect vacation spot for me." Lord Arcane said in a comical but honest manner. "Heaven is overrated anyway."

" … you really think you will succeed, Lord Arcane? It won't happen. The vault hunters will stop you." Iris said with hidden anger.

"That quite a bit of confidence you're giving to people you have never even met." Lord Arcane said with a raised-eyebrow. "Regardless, I'd expect them to. It would be boring otherwise for me to completely defeat them by a landslide. People want to see a close match-up. To see the underdog rise. To see titans clash. To see the battle of the ages. I'm going to provide it for them … before I utterly tear their underdog apart into a million pieces and squish all of its guts and flesh and bone into a singularity and then put it in my mouth so I can chew it like bubblegum. Flesh-flavored bubblegum …"

"… you're insane." Iris said with wide-eyed shock in response to Lord Arcane's imaginative brutality.

" *chuckles* … I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, I'll be off now. I've got other business to attend to." Lord Arcane said as he calmly walks away from the imprisoned Siren while waving her off. "But you can guarantee that we will see each other … very soon."

By the time Lord Arcane left the Control Core Iris through the ascending elevator, Iris felt incredible dread. She feels like something incredibly bad is going to happen and if she does not muster up the energy to do something, a lot of innocent people are going to die. Among the quiet atmosphere, Iris placed her hand against the wall of the energy dome and she concentrates … she concentrates with immense willpower, perhaps even more than she had done so her entire life … she concentrates her Siren powers to its maximum level, as if there is literally nothing left to lose. Upon the intense mental energy required to resist the forces acting against her to prevent the use of her Siren powers, she has finally succeeded. What resulted is the appearance of a strange female child who suddenly 'materialized' on the other side of Iris's dome near where Iris is. This child appears to be quite young, about the age of 7. She appears to be wearing ragged tan-brown clothing and dirty white bandages wrapped around the arms and legs. She has short bright-violet hair and pale-white skin, with Siren tattoos matching that of Iris's. Moreover, the color and hue of her green eyes also matches perfectly to that of Iris's. It's as if this child is like a much younger version of Iris herself.

"… you are our only hope now … go on … do what you need to do." Iris instructed the child.

The child nodded in silence before she dashes away from Iris and quietly escapes into the background.

* * *

Meanwhile, at another location within Pandora, there is another facility belonging to Atlas that deserves our attention: the main base of the Crimson Knights. If looked from afar, you could have sworn that it looks like one of those medieval castles brandished with a futuristic industrial design. Its red-and-gray styled infrastructure is built on top of a gray rock mountain with multiple machine-gun turrets and rocket turrets acting as sentries to the surrounding area. Various hovercraft landing zones are made on top of the base for assisted air-travel. The base itself is strategically built so that the only accessible entrance from the ground is to go through a narrow path in between two high walls of rock. This means that whoever wants to attack the base will have to go through that walled-up narrow path with little available space for maneuverability, making both direct takeovers and stealthy infiltrations rather difficult. Lieutenant Sheldon of the Crimson Knights knows this very well. That is why he chose this rather peculiar location to set up his military base. Enemy forces are easier to mow down if they are forced into a choke point. Due to how Sheldon has managed to spearhead the establisment Crimson Knight's main base in such a short time after Handsome Jack's demise without the Crimson Raiders even noticing it, even some of the most disagreeable grunts and rebels within the Crimson Knights have to say that Sheldon's organization and management skills are profound. Speaking of which …

" *sigh* …" Sheldon sighed in response to stress from his analytical work as he is currently working in his office right now.

The dimly lit room within the base that is Sheldon's office is surprisingly small and minimalistic for a military commander. However, it fits Sheldon's style perfectly as he is not a big fan of overly grandiose room designs anyway. Everything within this room is neat … almost a little bit too neat. Everything was placed in a precise and symmetrical location with little tolerance for error. It's like the room was arranged by someone with OCD, which is exactly who Sheldon is … or was. As Sheldon is sitting near his desk analyzing combat data on the holographic monitor screen, he took a brief break from his work to approach a nearby hot-water dispenser to … brew some tea. His favorite is Earl Grey. It reminded him of the times he spent in college, for he would always brew himself a cup whenever he studies. However, his parents mildly discourages him drinking it, since it's does not seem appropriate for a 10-year old to have too much caffeine in his system … oh, by the way, Sheldon graduated from college when he was 10 years-old … just so you know. As he grabbed his mug filled with the warm calming liquid, he returned back to his desk to continue analyzing his combat data.

"Corporate vault hunters …" Sheldon thinks to himself as he meticulously scan through various footage captured from the crashed Atlas airship that the corporate vault hunters have infiltrated this afternoon. "… with an added factor to this equation, it becomes even more complex to solve … but not impossible. As the wise man says, an insurmountable problem can be more easily solved by breaking it down into smaller problems. As long as you can solve each individual smaller problem, nothing can stand in your way. So … all I need to do is to analyze each individual vault hunter's attributes in order to re-evaluate the situation. Where should I start …?"

Suddenly, Sheldon's analytical powers have gone into hyper-focus. Every detail is like a glowing string of words floating inside his head that he needs to capture in order to place into a correct format. What's occurring inside his head is similar to a super-computer analyzing and calculating various digital data before coming up with a perfectly sound solution. Data … information … knowledge … calculation … all in sync. (In other words … it's like an orgasm with your brain … ok, that analogy is weird, ignore what I just said.)

/Let's create an overview of the situation that is present. While not much is known about the result of the interaction between the Crimson Raiders and the corporate vault hunters, based on their unprecedented attack at one of our airships, it can be reasonably assumed that the corporate vault hunters are going to be our enemies in this fight. If we were to expect the worst, it is possible for the Crimson Raiders and the corporate vault hunters to form an alliance and work together towards the same goal of taking down Atlas and opening the vault. Therefore, in order to plan an effective strategy, I need to know as much as I can about each of the individual corporate vault hunters. Their backstories, their motivations, their behaviors, their strengths, their tactics … their weaknesses./

/Mama Jaws. The self-proclaimed founder of the Bandit 'corporation' responsible for manufacturing Bandit-brand guns, shields, grenade mods, and other products. She seems to have the typical behavioral archetype of Pandora's psychotic bandit, though possesses some level of logical reasoning, mechanical expertise, and business ingenuity. This is made evident by the wide-spread popularity and economic demand of Bandit weapons on Pandora, which almost rivals that of other major corporations and has even been rumored to put S&amp;S Munitions out of business due to it taking over the niche market of large magazine-sized firearms. Mama Jaws herself has been known to be violently cannibalistic, incredibly hot-tempered, lacking proper education, and possibly sexually aggressive. However, she is capable of negotiation if given the right incentive, such as money, and could even cooperative with others on occasion. While she is proficient with a wide range of firearms, her most preferred tactic is to melee-attack her enemies with her 'buzz-wrench' and overwhelm her enemies with her three digistructed midget companions. If I were to go against her as an opponent, the most effective strategy would be to stay a far distance away from her and snipe her dead before she is able to get up-close-and-personal. Since it is quoted that she does not produce sniper rifles because of her disapproval of sniper tactics, it's not likely that she would carry a sniper rifle of her own to fight in long-range. Her companion midgets might pose a problem, though, since it could be used as a possible distraction to minimize the effectiveness of calm and precise sniping. However, that could easily be remedied by having digistruct summons of your own, such as the hound-bots, to counter those midgets, or simply use grenades to thin out the advantage in numbers. Overall threat level: medium./

/Eugene Stone. One of Dahl's Commandos, an elite group of soldiers in one of the most accomplished private militaries within the six galaxies. Given that information, it can be safely assumed that he is exceptionally skilled, knowledgeable, and experienced in military combat. He would most likely possess a high proficiency in the use of various firearms, battlefield survival, physical fitness, CQC, and general military strategy and tactics. However, while Commandos often work well with each other given that they are purposely trained to do so, it's questionable as to Eugene's effectiveness in battle when working with a group of diverse strangers. From his reports, it seems like Eugene tends to be very competitive, very ambitious, and very egotistical. He often prides himself as being the best-of-the-best and treats everything like it's a contest of which he strives to be on top. Whether this high level of ego acts as positive confidence or negative arrogance remains to be seen. Accompanying him is one of Dahl's newest state-of-the-art military hardware, the Mason mini-tank. Although its detailed specifications remain unclear, it is possible to derive several features from the captured video alone. It seems to be around 2.6 meters in length, 1.8 meters in width, and 1.3 meters in height. In terms of functionality, it could basically be equated to a Sabre turret with wheels, allowing for more offensive tactics such as tank-rush to be used by only a single soldier. However, if compared directly with a Sabre turret, it is possible that, due to its maneuvering capability, it has to sacrifice armor and firepower to make room for a gas tank and engine, though that is purely speculation. Currently, its main tank gun could be transformed into different forms, such as a mini-gun or an armor-piercing tank shell cannon, to suit different needs. The shield generators indicate that it could generate its own shield and the rocket ports indicate that it might be able to launch some sort of ordnance, possibly homing rockets. It is possible for it to have even more unknown features that might be revealed as time goes. Overall, this particular soldier combined with his mini-tank make for a deadly combination. Additionally, Eugene's strongest trait might be his leadership mentality in the battlefield. If Eugene's peer and fellow ex-Commando Axton is anything to go by, it proves that the most valuable asset to a group of vault hunters is teamwork and coordination; so much so that even a group of a measly six vault hunters is enough to take down an entire Hyperion army. Eugene may be the center of this group's teamwork, at least in terms of tactics. While I may have a genius-level intellect, his high level of experience might just be enough to overcome it. Whatever battlefield strategy I throw at him, he'll be able to adapt to it and counter it. To a well-rounded soldier like Eugene, there might not be a single tactic that works against him 100% of the time. Therefore, in order to fight against someone like him … is to not play by his rules. Or more specifically, move against his paradigm of thinking. Instead of simply adding more people or more guns, I use a combination of tactics and technology that even the best soldiers at this day and age might not expect. I use unfamiliarity against a soldier familiar with war by redefining the rules of war itself. However, at the end of the day, this soldier could still be a tough nut to crack. Additionally, his reliance on his mini-tank may be his downfall, as it is made of metal, which can be more effectively countered with corrosive weaponry. Overall threat level: high./

/Selena Licht. A specialist within the Hyperion Task Force. There does not seem to be much info that can be gathered by this task force. However, it could be extrapolated that they are a group of special operations mercenaries trained and equipped to do Hyperion's dirty work. While most of the missions involve assassinations, corporate espionage, and sabotage, there are some jobs that are relatively more "noble", such as hostage rescue and person-of-interest protection. Due to Hyperion putting relatively more priority in the advancement of computers and information technology than other corporations, it's is no surprise that a Hyperion task force agent like Selena is well equipped with computer-hacking and electronic technology analysis, which is made even more apparent by its single eye-visor worn to cover her left eye … hang on a second./

/That visor … it seems to have highly sophisticated analytical and hacking abilities … could it be that it could detect and pinpoint the origin of the Breakdown wave? That's a bit of a stretch but … /

While Sheldon was sitting on his desk, he contacted his network intelligence department to confirm his suspicions using a Bluetooth-like earpiece to communicate. (It's in the Borderlands universe, so they're probably not going to call it Bluetooth. More like … Red Fang? Man, that sounds kinda cool. A Red Fang headset …)

"Hello, Network Intelligence? … Yes, I called you because I suspect that our Breakdown wave might have been traced by someone …" Sheldon warned through the ECHO-line. "… someone who may have the means to do it … could you do a scan to search if there are any evidence of that happening within the fast-travel network … you did find something? … I see … you don't need to do anything else. Just return to your regular work for now and keep track of any other external attempts to trace us back to the base … yes, report back to me if you find anything else along the way … Thank you, I'll handle it from here."

This is worse than Sheldon has expected. He never expected that someone among the corporate vault hunters would have the ability to track them back to their base using the Breakdown wave. It's one thing to fight against armies of violently aggressive bandits … it's another when your enemy has the upper-hand in terms of intel. This is not just a war of bullets and explosions … it's a war of intelligence, and whoever has better intel truly has the advantage. Realizing that, Sheldon proceeds to contact Lord Arcane upon this newly-discovered bit of info.

"Hello, my lord." Sheldon said over at the ECHO-line.

[Hello, Sheldon. Why, it has only been a few hours since we have last contacted. What seems to be the problem, my lieutenant?] Lord Arcane said playfully.

"We may have a problem … one of the corporate vault hunters … the Hyperion representative, who goes by the name of Selena …" Sheldon said with mild urgency. "… she might have tracked the Breakdown wave back to our main base."

[Really? How interesting. Well, I don't see that as too big of a deal.] Lord Arcane shrugged. [We are going to confront them sooner or later, given of how the corporate vault hunters are bold enough to interfere with our plans. Isn't it better for them to come to us? It certainly saves us the hassle of seeking them out.]

"Well … it isn't that simple." Sheldon explained. "If one of the corporate vault hunters were able to track the source of the Breakdown wave, it is possible for them to infiltrate our base in order to disable the Breakdown wave and restore the fast-travel system back online. Seeing as how they now have an airship provided by the corporate board as an alternative means of transportation, it is quite possible for them to come to us faster than we are able to prepare ourselves. Technically, I could divert a portion of my forces to fight against whichever group of vault hunters they've decide to send our way, but that would leave us with less manpower to locate the three pieces of the vault key when the time comes, which is less than ideal."

[You worry too much, Sheldon.] Lord Arcane said casually. [I don't see the corporate vault hunters being much of a threat. There are only eight of them and we have an entire army at our disposal.]

"My very task is to worry on your behalf, my lord." Sheldon countered. "Handsome Jack also has an army at his disposal, yet it is easily taken out by a small group of vault hunters. Therefore, it is within the realm of possibility that this group of corporate vault hunters, whether they are working with the Crimson Raiders or not, could be a major hindrance to us. I prefer not to underestimate our opponents that easily. As the wise man says … arrogance and intelligence do not mix."

[ *Chuckles* … If you say so, Sheldon. I'm sure glad that I've selected you as my military commander.] Lord Arcane said with an evil smirk. [Your attention to the smallest of details is profound. That's what I really like about you. So … what is your suggestion to this predicament?]

"Well … I could probably use one of our Atlas satellites to detect the airship ahead of time." Sheldon evaluated. "Then I'll come up with the most optimal way to intercept them, though I do not know exactly the chances of success are. I'm still in the middle of the process of figuring that out."

[Hmm … here's an idea. Have you've ever thought of hiring bandits?] Lord Arcane suggested.

"You mean hiring them as additional manpower to intercept the corporate vault hunters?" Sheldon said with mild astonishment. "With all due respect, my lord … bandits are, how you say, untrustworthy. They have been known to fight only for their own gain. While their abundance in numbers and their familiarity with the Pandoran environment are notable advantages, I'm highly doubt their overall effectiveness against the vault hunters. Plus, with the money that I use to hire bandits, I might as well use that to improve my own army."

[That is a valid point. However, you also forgot a couple of other factors.] Lord Arcane pointed out. [Bandits are in general greedy, stupid, itching for violence, and naturally hate vault hunters just as much as we do. Whatever additional incentive they need to fight the corporate vault hunters is only superficial. It only takes a little push for them to willingly risk their lives in our favor. If done right, we may even get a large amount of extra manpower without ever spending a cent out of our own pockets. Handsome Jack has proven this point by tricking bandits into doing plenty of work for him without paying much of anything.]

"That is a reasonable argument." Sheldon commented. "However, I'm not confident that I'll be able to persuade any large group of bandits on Pandora to actually help us in the fight. As you may have known, Atlas isn't exactly popular on Pandora, both bandits and citizens alike, due to its tarnished history on this planet. Those bandits would mostly likely try to gut me like a fish the moment I say I'm from Atlas."

[Oh, you don't need to concern yourself in that matter. Let me worry about the negotiation with the bandits.] Lord Arcane assured. [You'll just focus on keeping the main base safe for now and to dispatch your troops when it's time to find the pieces of the vault key. I'll negotiate with the bandits on my own, and if I've come up with anything, I'll contact you.]

"As you wish, my lord." Sheldon said respectfully.

[We'll be in touch … Sheldon.] Lord Arcane said with menacing charisma as he hung up.

Sheldon took a deep breath to calm his nerves as he re-evaluate the current situation in his head. Whenever Sheldon have a conversation with Lord Arcane, it always triggers a horrid memory of the time when Sheldon and Lord Arcane first met. Back then, Lord Arcane maintained his usual friendly and charming conduct whenever he talks to Sheldon. It is because of his rather peaceful initial approach that causes Sheldon to let his guard down … which he realized afterwards was his gravest mistake. Lord Arcane's guise of polite mannerism is only a deception to shroud his utterly hideous and malevolent nature. Now … whenever Sheldon exchange words with Lord Arcane, he couldn't tell if Lord Arcane might suddenly want to shake his hand or stab him in the stomach or … even worse, causes his head to spontaneously explode using his 'powers'. That's the true frightening nature of Lord Arcane. It even says it in the name. Arcane … unknown … mysterious … unpredictable … you cannot see it coming until it's too late. If we truly fear what we do not understand, Lord Arcane might as well be the embodiment of fear itself.

/I cannot let that distract me right now. I've got to focus on what's at hand, which are the corporate vault hunters. Now, to continue from where I left off …/

/ … in addition to the usual expertise of special operations and computer networking, Selena is also equipped with the Hyperion-issued MK. 7 WASP battle suit. While it is skin-tight and possesses only minimal composite plate armor at certain regions, its true strength lies in its ability to digistruct-transform into a wearable jetpack suit capable of high-speed flight. This boosts the user's speed and vertical maneuverability to inhuman levels, which could be used evasively, to traverse difficult terrain, or for advanced flanking maneuvers. Based on what we've seen so far, it might also possess other features such as a wrist-mounted combat laser or other forms of gadgetry. However, given my general knowledge on the physics of the human body, using the suit to perform flight maneuvers at high acceleration and sharp turns puts a tremendous amount of g-force onto the user. Therefore, it is reasonable to deduce that Selena must have been specially trained to withstand these tremendous g-forces in order to use that suit effectively, as a regular untrained person would simply pass out. However, even with extended training, a human body still has its limits. I might just be able to factor these limits into my calculations to more effectively take her down. As for her psychological profile … she is incredibly obsessed with Handsome Jack. Seems strange but not unusual. Handsome Jack's influence might have been unpopular in most of Pandora, but there are several regions of people within Pandora as well as within the corporation itself, who worships Handsome Jack like a deity. As of such, Selena seems to be incredibly sensitive to topics revolving around Handsome Jack. This could be used to our advantage as speaking negatively about Handsome Jack towards Selena might trigger an intense emotion which might cloud her judgement. Or it could backfire, as she might use that anger to fight even more aggressively. Despite of that, her skills and experience alone are enough to warrant her as a powerful enemy combatant. If I were to go against her, I first have to take away her greatest strength … her speed. By slowing her down, she might have to forcefully change tactics, which might overall make her less effective on the battlefield. This could be accomplished by the use of the tether-beam combined with spray-firing guns like SMG's or shotguns. However, her aggressive and obsessive personality might give her a bit of unpredictability. Overall threat level: high./

/Monty Jakobs. Official name is Montgomery Jakobs the Fifth …

! #$%&amp; … ! #$%&amp; … ! #$%&amp; …

TL;DR, man … TL;DR

… wait, who is this? What are you doing in my fan-fiction?

Your analysis on the vault hunters is completely dry and uninteresting. No one in their right sense would be able to read all this crap.

… Shut up. What are you even doing here? Who are you?

Glad you asked. I'm actually not just one person, but two people. Two hosts of a famous ECHO-cast show that features fictional characters duke it out in a fight-to-the-death scenario. You should totally subscribe. I'm surprised you haven't called us to do this chapter for you. We would have made it a lot cooler and way less boring.

… uh-oh. No, this cannot be happening … NOOOOOOO!

He's Warlock and I'm Blunderbuss, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to find out who would win a dea-

… NO! Please don't! The copyright infringement label will come to get us! This account will be shut down! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE!

Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. IT'S TIME FOR A BATTLE TO THE DE-

NOOOOOOOOOO …!

! #$%&amp; … ! #$%&amp; … ! #$%&amp; …

"AAAHHH!" Sheldon screamed out loud in his office.

Sheldon suddenly woke up from his nightmare. Apparently, he had fallen asleep on his desk as he was in the process of analyzing all the data. This amount of overworking can sometimes mess up the brain of even the smartest genius in the galaxy. Sheldon now realizes that and decides to call it a night in order to get some sleep.

" *deep sigh* … I really need to get some sleep. Being able to break the fourth wall cannot be good for my mental health. I really don't want to end up like that one Marvel superhero …" Sheldon said to himself tiringly before he turns off the holographic monitor on his desk and go back to sleep in his bedroom.


	36. Sanctuary Morning

**Author's note: Wassup, everybody! Sorry for the delay. It's been over a month, I know, but I got a lot of sh*t going on. My home internet has suddenly stopped working for a while, I've been struggling to find a job, and I think I may have a serious case of writer's block. Seriously, sometimes creative sh*t wants to just jump out of my head and onto Microsoft Word, but there is always this mental blockade that prevents me from popping these chapters out on a regular basis. It's crazy, but there's not much I can do about it. With that said, I know you guys been enjoying my story so far, so I will definitely keep up the writing.**

**Also, I've been playing "Claptastic Voyage" over this past month. You know, that "Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel" DLC that focuses mainly on Claptrap. I'm not gonna spoil for you if you haven't played it, but, in general, people treats Claptrap like crap, and sometimes he doesn't deserve it. So part of this chapter focuses more on the belittlement of this poor little robot and how some of us may be able to relate to it.**

**Also, this chapter is supposed to end with all of the corporate vault hunters just depart from Sanctuary and head onward to the Crimson Knight's base, but then I realized that it'll be way too long to just fit in one chapter, with all the character interactions and everything. Man, this story has soared through over 200,000 words and we are still barely 25% done. What I'm saying is … this story is going to be frickin' long. I plan for it to be frickin' long, but I do not intend to do too much padding just to fill up space. Vaults need to be hunted, so make it snappy, know what I mean?**

**Anyway, sorry about the rant. Enjoy the reads, motherf*cker!**

* * *

Chapter 36: Sanctuary Morning

It is now early morning in Sanctuary, as the dawning sun shines its warm glow upon the floating city. People have now awakened from their slumber and proceed onward to their morning routines. Whether it's cooking up breakfast, brushing their teeth, watching their latest ECHO-news broadcast, or stripping naked and shouting from the top of their lungs how awesome the Universe is.

Wait, what?

"GOOD MORNING, UNIVERSE!" K.C. shouted from the top of his lungs. As you may have already guessed, he is currently butt-naked, standing proudly on the rooftop of a random small building in Sanctuary, and gazing far towards the horizon at the rising sun. He also seems to be flexing his muscles and doing various exaggerated poses, like he is pretending to be in a naked body-building competition and everyone around him is the audience. One can clearly extrapolate from this situation that the precise amount of f*cks he gives is equivalent to the amount of clothing he is wearing right now … precisely zero. "For your first baby words was not 'mama' or 'papa' but 'B*TCH, I'M ECSTATIC!', I'm going to follow your wise-ass philosophy by waking up as early as possible to BECOME THE MOST EXTREME OF THE MOST EXTREME! Extremeness! Radicalness! Aggressiveness! Outrageousness! And Explosiveness! The TRUE path of becoming the THICKEST AND LONGEST SAUSAGE IN EVERY GODDAMN SAUSAGE FEST THAT HAS EVER EXISTED! That probably came out wrong but WHO GIVES A SAUSAGE LICKIN' F*CK?!"

As K.C. Dynamo was delivering his epic morning speech, it attracted a small crowd of Sanctuary citizens around his vicinity. Everyone was looking up to his chiseled buttocks from below with a sense of speechless awe, as if the three letters 'WTF?!' just wasn't enough to describe this sort of situation anymore. Among them were the irritated Lilith, the embarrassed Maya, the impressed Brick, the astonished Salvador, and the mesmerized Tina. If Lilith and Maya were to facepalm themselves in response to K.C.'s immaturity, their hands would probably go through their faces. On the other hand, Brick and Salvador were rubbing their chins and probably thinking to themselves that this habit of early morning full-body indecent exposure might be something they could get into, much to the gagging horror of pretty much everyone else. As for Tina … well, Tina practically didn't even blink when she was hypnotized by those tan muscular glutes gleaming over the morning sunlight. Also, she was drooling with her mouth open while sporting a dumb smile on her face because of course she is.

"Oh no, he didn't …" Brick commented in quiet awe as he looked up.

"Gotta give it to the kid. He's got cojones (balls). Really BIG cojones." Salvador added with mild interest.

"Tina! NO! Stop staring! And also … STOP DROOLING! NSFW! NSFW!" Lilith shouted annoyingly at Tina, like a mother trying to protect the innocence of her child by preventing her from watching R-rated movies, before ordering Maya to interrupt this inappropriate nastiness. "Maya! Cover her eyes! Get Tina out of here! NOW!"

"Roger that, Lil." Maya obeyed obediently before she covers Tina's eyes from the sexy nakedness and carry her away from the scene.

"Maaaaaiiiiinnnnn squuuuueeeeeeeeeezzzzzeeeee~ hehe … hehehehehe …" Tina said with a drooling smile as she is carried away.

"Hey! K.C.! What … the … HELL do you think you're doing?!" Lilith shouted irritatingly from below. "Get back down here! And for God's sake, put some clothes on!"

"Oh hey, badass siren lady!" K.C. shouted as he looked down towards Lilith. "It's good to wake up early in the morning and bathe in the sun's glory! Talk about a huge dose of AWESOME VITAMIN D! You guys should definitely try it sometime!"

"Thanks for the tip, ninito (little boy)! Maybe, I'll try it sometime!" Salvador shouted enthusiastically, with a hint of real consideration of actually trying it.

"Salvador! Stop encouraging the kid!" Lilith complained irritatingly as she pointed an incriminating finger at Salvador.

"Aww, c'mon, Lil. The kid's just trying to have some fun." Brick casually defended K.C.'s ridiculous actions. "Believe me, when I was his age, I got into a lot worse trouble that that."

"You guys should probably take a picture! It'll last longer!" K.C. loudly suggested.

"We are not taking …" Lilith grumbled with a low tone of annoyed anger before phase-walking to the top of the building next to K.C. and proceeding to kick his sorry ass off the rooftop, causing K.C. to come crashing down on ground level. "… PICTURES!"

"AAAHHH! …" K.C. shouted as he falls down to the ground.

K.C. took the full force of Lilith's siren-style ass-kick and clumsily landed on his ass. Because, as they always say, badasses always land on their asses. Or something like that …

* * *

Meanwhile, in the miniature recording studio within the Blue Moby, the two familiar reporters were up and awake at their stations, preparing to record their next bit of footage for the Corporate Vault Hunt reality ECHOnet show, though one of them is more energized than the other. While the awake-and-alert Patrick is in his usual formal attire and holding a stack of papers in one hand while holding a mug of coffee in the other, the sleepy-head Xiao Lan Chen is still in her pink-colored flower-patterned pajamas, snuggly hugging her cushy body-pillow with a picture of *insert favorite anime character* on it, and leaving her messy hair ungroomed. As they both sit beside the long rectangular table with camera at the front and green screen at the back, the cameraman couldn't help but notice that something is just not quite right.

"Good maowning, pee-po. *Snooze* A'm juist go-in ta sweep wight hear, snuggwin' my comfy pillou *Snooze*." Xiao Lan muttered in a half-asleep state. Her eyes are barely opening as she wraps her arms tightly around her body pillow while sitting in front of the camera.

"Uhh, is she alright? She looks like one of those zombies from 'The Sprinting Dead', only way uglier." the cameraman interjected.

"HOOT U KAWLIN' UGLIE, U KNOW-NAME CAMERAMAN?! … *Snooze* …" Xiao Lan snapped at the cameraman while still half-asleep.

" *Sigh* She'll be fine." Patrick reassured sternly. "We were just staying up all night editing the rest of the footage for the Corporate Vault Hunt. We barely have anytime to sleep."

"In that case, how are you still wide-awake?" the cameraman asked curiously while scratching his head.

"I have gone through plenty of sleepless nights before. It sort of comes with a career in the media industry." Patrick replied casually as he adjusted his glasses. "Anyway, let's roll the cameras."

"Are you sure about that? She isn't even dressed for the part." the cameraman asked with concern.

"It'll be fine. This show needs a bit of ingenuity anyway. This is a way to mix things up for the show." Patrick suggested.

"If you say so." the cameraman shrugged before turning on the camera and letting it roll. The broadcast is starting and Patrick is getting ready to act out his part while Xiao Lan is snoozing away.

" *Clears throat* … Welcome to another episode of the Corporate Brand Allegiance Vault Hunt …" Patrick Anderson presented to the camera with formality. "… taking place here on Pandora where the air smells of piss and gunpowder and people customarily greet each other with a bullet to the face. I'm Patrick Anderson."

"… and ah am wat's it cal a fow-war dat looks like ah rawjina … *mumbles incoherently* …" Xiao Lan added while still half-asleep before releasing what I would call a mildly audible fart while on-camera. It's not just any type of random fart, either. It's a specific type of fart. You see, in this world, within the gastronomic cavities of the digestive track of anyone who has ever taken a sh*t, there exists many different types of farts. There are loud farts, quiet farts, long farts, short farts, smelly farts, aromatic farts, and even rhythmic farts that could be turned into music if done right. I'd say that the fart is not too loud and not too lengthy, much like the farts that are typically released by a lady … or so I was told. Also, it smells like roses and freshly-cut grass … or so I was told. "… *farts* … x-queeze me …"

"Uuuuuhhhhh …" the cameraman doubted with a raised eyebrow, uncertain whether they should continue with the show or not.

"Just continue. It'll be alright." Patrick reassured with a calm demeanor.

"If you say so." the cameraman hesitantly shrugged before continue to manage the camera.

" *Clears throat* … As the corporate vault hunt continues, picking from where we left off …" Patrick continues his broadcast. "… it seems that while our crew was delivering the group of corporate vault hunters to the destination of the Crimson Raiders' base known as Sanctuary, something unprecedented has occurred. The Atlas corporation has intervened. They did this by sending their fleet of airships to bombard the city of Sanctuary, aiming to plunge it to the ground if their demands are not met. Their goals are no different from that of the corporate vault hunters as well as that of the Crimson Raiders … the contents within the vault. Given this sudden turn of events, the corporate vault hunters and the Crimson Raiders have no choice but to join together to take down the Atlas corporation so that they can finally share the spoils of their battle. Who will rise up to the top and claim the vault as their own? Stay tuned to find out."

"… *Yawn* xiaolongbao *mumbles* …" Xiao Lan said incoherently as she waved at the camera in a sleepy but cheerful manner.

* * *

"Hey! Crazy Earl?" Mama Jaws yelled as she is currently standing in front of Crazy Earl's black market house while banging on his front door. "CRAZY EARL! Come outta there! I know you're in there!"

Tired of all this unwanted commotion, Crazy Earl finally opened a small rectangular hatch on his front door revealing only the top half of his face.

"What'chu want?!" Crazy Earl complained as he stares out in front of his shack through the small hatch.

"Guess who, ya filthy skaglicker." Mama Jaws replied as she stares back into Crazy Earl's crazy eyes.

"Aww shoot! Not you again!" Crazy Earl got spooked out the moment he saw Mama Jaws. It's like he recognizes Mama Jaws and doesn't like her coming all the way to Sanctuary to find him here. "Listen, last time I had some stomach problems, so I couldn't completely eat the entire buzzard using nothing but a toothpick. Had to flush everything down with a bit of slag-juice mixed with rakk-ale. I've been crapping scrap metal for weeks. It was disgusting, and I've eaten disgusting stuff before. So, what'chu want?"

"Nothin' much. Just thought I give one o' mah ol' pal a visit." Mama Jaws answered with feigning friendliness as she looks around the front entrance of Crazy Earl's black market. "Nice place ya got here. Got a whole Eridium black market all set up and everythin'. Pretty neat, if I do say so myself."

"Yeah, yeah, whateva'. Now scram!" Crazy Earl annoyingly tries to shoo Mama Jaws away before shutting the hatch. Mama Jaws stopped him from shutting the hatch by holding it open with her buzzwrench.

"Hey! Ain't ya gonna gimme a tour of your place inside? Kinda rude, don't ya think?" Mama Jaws complained while forcefully holding the hatch open.

"I got nothin' to show ya. Now stay gone!" Crazy Earl shouted irritatingly as he struggles to close the hatch while Mama Jaws tries to keep it open.

"Well, in that case …" Mama Jaws got an idea. While holding the hatch open, she took out her Midge-unit before proceeding to shove it through the hatch opening and into the other side of Crazy Earl's door. Afterwards, she shouted out the commands, which prompts the SDU to activate. "… Oh, midge-midge~! Wreak some havoc!"

Immediately, the three hyperactive midgets digistruct into life out of the SDU and proceed to scratch Crazy Earl's nuts- …er, I mean climb on top of him so that they could unleash a fury of claw attacks and hammer-punches. This causes Crazy Earl to open the front door of his shack and come running out, screaming like crazy as he scrambles around in panic through the alleyways of Sanctuary to avoid the psychotic little triplets. While Crazy Earl is being tormented by the midgets through Sanctuary, Mama Jaws couldn't help but cackle like a maniac as she observes the insanity of her prank.

"HAHAHAhahahahehehehehaha … oh, it never gets old." Mama Jaws laughed without restraint.

* * *

While this is going on, Camtrap, the lovely robot in pink, was wandering around the streets of Sanctuary. It's reasonable for Camtrap to be curious about her surroundings. After all, she was only 'born' a couple of days ago. Much of the world is still new to her. The cameraman understands that and allows Camtrap to explore Sanctuary on her own while he records the next bit of footage for the Corporate Vault Hunt show. So far, not much has happened yet (well, apart from Butt-naked Kid Extreme and Bandit Mama's Midget-Rampage) as Camtrap wheels around Sanctuary to see the sights. While it isn't much when viewed by a regular person, it was oddly fascinating to Camtrap. As she continues to quietly stroll around, there's a shadowy figure meticulously following her and watching her every move. This shadowy figure is known as interplanetary, as a ninja, and as an assassin, despite of possessing none of the qualities of any on them. That's right. This shadowy figure is none other than Claptrap. I don't know if you can read a robot's emotions, but you can obviously tell Claptrap hypothetical hormones are overflowing with the non-existent chemicals of love as he sneakily stares at Camtrap from a far distance. While Camtrap continues to look around, two nearby adult women saw Camtrap and was tempted to approach her with mild curiosity and awe.

"Oh my … is that a Claptrap … but in pink?" one woman questioned in astonishment.

"Why yes, it is. Those flower patterns look … adorable!" the other woman commented with mild glee.

"Oh … uh, thank you. One of my master's co-workers gave me this coloring." Camtrap responded with innocent flattery. "I'm Camtrap, by the way. Nice to meet you."

"Oh my, you are so polite~!" one woman squealed with adoration.

"I know, right?! You must have been exquisitely programmed! You are just too cute!" the other woman replied excitedly.

As Camtrap is being praised by the locals, Claptrap thinks it's about time to show him his own charms of being a robot of similar race and therefore similar appeal … which is totally not how it works, but you cannot blame him for trying.

"Hello, ladies. My, what a nice day it is." Claptrap approached Camtrap and the two women. You can tell he is trying to feign his nonexistent robotic charms by brushing his antenna back like it's his hair. "Gee, I see you two are getting along with this Claptrap unit quite well. Goes to show, not all Claptrap units are intolerably annoying buckets of scrap metal. Now that we got that out of the way, you ladies want to hang out some time? As for you, Miss Camtrap. You are always welcome to join me for brunch. I've got a bucket of crude oil that's just sitting there in my shack, waiting to be shared."

"Umm …" Camtrap said shyly, not knowing what to say. Before she can answer, the two women interrupted her.

" *Gasp* … oh Lord! It's Claptrap! How abhorring!" one woman freaked out like she just encountered the plague the moment Claptrap showed up.

"Ugh, go away, Claptrap! You are polluting the air around us. Why don't you stick your integrator somewhere else?" the other woman scolded with equal revulsion.

"But but-" Claptrap tries to say something that would prevent the two ladies from insulting him. However, before he could say anything, he is forcefully kicked away by one of the ladies like a soccer ball, knocking Claptrap away at a far distance. "AAAaaahhhhhh …!"

"Umm …" Camtrap felt kind of sympathetic to Claptrap, but is too shy to say anything.

"Ugh, what an annoying and pathetic little robot." one woman criticized loathingly.

"I know, right?" the other woman agreed with equal tone before gently patting Camtrap on her head. "Don't worry, cute little robot. We'll protect you from bad influences such as him. It's always good to remember not to trust suspicious strangers like that pathetic Claptrap. Now, how about we give you a nice tour to Sanctuary?"

"Oh … uh, I'm not sure I should take up so much of your precious time, lovely misses." Camtrap considered with polite concern.

"Oh, nonsense! It would be our pleasure to give a lovely tourist like you a tour of our city." the other woman suggested. "I mean, it's not much, but it is home."

"Umm … okay. If you insist." Camtrap agreed shyly.

"Lovely! This way please~!" one woman yelped with delight as the group walked off to another direction to explore Sanctuary.

Meanwhile, Claptrap just so happens to crash-land near Gaige and Deathtrap, who are outside at a working bench in front of Scooter's garage. Gaige seems to be doing some maintenance work on Deathtrap, as a loyal killer robot always needs repair from time to time from his loving and caring master mechanic.

"Alright, Deathtrap. Time for another tune-up." Gaige noted kindly as she opens up Deathtrap's panel, revealing his mechanical and electrical components. Gaige always seems to enjoy herself whenever she takes care of Deathtrap. It's like Deathtrap is her child … if that child has metal claws and a laser eye, which, let's admit it, you wish your child would have as well. "Who's a good little killer robot~? Yes, you are~. Yes, you are~."

Deathtrap growled happily in response to indicate his shared enjoyment of spending time with his master mechanic. While Gaige and Deathtrap are performing their routine maintenance, Claptrap could only sighed sadly as he wheels up next to them and sits on the ground in a disheartening manner. As Gaige is fixing up on Deathtrap, she only needs to take a side glance at Claptrap to know what his troubles are.

"Still having no luck with your pink and lovable counterpart?" Gaige asked Claptrap in a casual manner.

"Huh? … what? … Minion … how … how did you know?" Claptrap asked astonishingly, surprised that at least someone in Sanctuary understands him.

"Oh please. I'm THE Mechromancer. I know robots. And when I say I know robots, I REALLY mean that I know robots." Gaige self-praised confidently. "You got first-crush algorithms written all over your mainframe, Clappy. You got the heart but not the charms, and therefore you have failed to woo the pink hotness that's just arrived in Sanctuary. Can't say I blame you for having a thing for her. I mean, she is just so cute and adorable and likeable and huggable. Plus, she got a bunch of cool tech strapped on her, which makes her even more awesome! In other words, she's like you, only the complete opposite."

" *Sigh* You're right, Minion. There's not a chance in a million years that she would ever like me." Claptrap wallowed himself in disappointment. "I mean, we both could literally be the only two Claptrap units in existence and there is still no chance for us to be together. I think a Loader-bot, a Surveyor, or … heck, even a Constructor would have a better chance with her than me."

"Oh, don't be like that. It's not impossible for you two to be together." Gaige encouraged Claptrap sympathetically as she pats Claptrap on the head to comfort him.

"Really? You mean it?" Claptrap sparked with mild hope.

"Of course, I do. Well, sure it will be difficult since … well, you know, you're Claptrap. But there's still a chance." Gaige said motivationally.

"Wow … I suddenly feel a sudden tingly feeling of weightlessness inside me." Claptrap described with restored self-esteem. "Is this … hope? Or is it my circuitry going on the fritz again? I don't know which. Anyway, you have any tips for me to appeal to a lovely robot like Camtrap?"

"Well, I wouldn't say robotic romance is my strong suit, but … sure, I'll give it a try." Gaige shrugged as she rolls her eyes. While she resume to doing maintenance work on Deathtrap, she continues to give Claptrap advice on love. "Okay, first of all, you gotta know what most girls like in a guy. Most girls who I've met in my school told me they would go completely crazy over guys who are … cool … and mysterious … and rebellious. Sorta like one of those bad-boys you often see in those high-school drama ECHO-net shows. You know, guys with long spiky hair and chiseled abs and ripped jeans. That sort of thing."

"Okay! Well, that's a start." Claptrap cheered enthusiastically before carefully considering his options. "Let's see, I'm a robot so I literally cannot grow hair … also, I don't have abs, either … also, my body shape does not allow me to wear jeans WHAT THE HECK?! These aren't good advices at all!"

"Oh come on! At least I tried." Gaige complained frustratingly before pausing her maintenance work on Deathtrap in order to search something in her tool-box. "Hang on, let me see if I could fix up something for you."

After a couple minutes of work, Gaige used a couple of random items to transform Claptrap into something more … presentable.

"There. All done. Now all you need to do is to change up your personality a little." Gaige explained. "Remember, you are one of the cool kids now. You're a rebel. You're a delinquent. You're a bad-boy. You follow nobody else's rules but your own. Get that into your motherboard and you'll have Camtrap be magnetized to you in no time."

"Gee, thanks. This really looks good on me. I'm gonna give it a try." Claptrap gratefully thanked Gaige as he looks as his new outfit. He later wheels off for another attempt to flirt with Camtrap, hoping it would work this time. "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck!" Gaige cheered on the newly-dressed Claptrap as she waved him good-bye. She later resumes her maintenance work with Deathtrap, during which she mumbles some words to her robot companion. "Pfft, he is totally going to fail." Deathtrap let out a quiet growl in agreement.

While Camtrap and the two women are touring around Sanctuary, Claptrap caught up with them with his second attempt of befriending them. This time, with the help of Gaige, Claptrap is wearing a custom-size jeans shirt with ripped sleeves and a fake black wig of spiky emo-style hair worn on top of his head. Claptrap also seems to be holding a cigarette and is pretending to smoke it in one of the most try-hard cool poses ever. Remember kids: don't smoke … or you'll end up like a worse-looking version of Claptrap … if that's even possible.

"Hello … ladies~." Badboy-Claptrap greeted with a horrible imitation of a cool-guy voice as he brushes his hair in a cool manner. He is even standing in a slanted angle while pressing one hand against a wall to further emphasizes his coolness. Camtrap and the other two women couldn't help but feel weirded-out as they see Claptrap in this new get-up. Are they supposed to laugh … or vomit … or maybe claw their eyes out? They just can't decide.

"Ugh … who the heck are YOU supposed to be?" one of the women asked with mild disgust.

"I'm glad you ask, sexy bimbo~." Badboy-Claptrap replied in a cool manner. "I am known by many to be the bad-boy of all robots, the emo-delinquent, the hipster rebel, the coolest-of-the-cool ..." While he said those words, he tries to smoke the cigarette that he is holding in his hand, which is pretty much pointless since he does not have lungs and the cigarette is not even lit. "… I am known as B4D-TP, but you can call me … Badtrap.~"

"Ugh … Badtrap? Seriously …?" the other woman questioned in discomforting disbelief.

"That's right, hot babe. I'm basically the dream guy that every female robot wants to hang out with.~" Badboy-Claptrap mentioned while maintaining his cool-guy persona. "I could basically make girls faint by just looking at them. I'm the baddest of the bad, baby. Now, why don't you girls come with me and I'll show you a good time? Especially you, the lovely-one-in-pink.~"

"Uh … who? … Me?" Camtrap was mildly startled as she blushes shyly. (At least I think she is blushing. What do robots do instead of blushing?)

"Yes … you.~" Badboy-Claptrap comfirmed as he boldly grasps onto Camtrap's hands and looks at Camtrap passionately in the eye. "I don't know what it is, but from the moment I lay my eye on you … my electric motor has been jumpstarted into life. My transistors are amplified with p-n emo-junction, my resistors cannot resist your beauty, my capacitors are overloaded in its capacity of love, my diodes light up red with passion, and the logic gate that traps my heart is starting to open as it becomes more and more illogical. Oh, Camtrap … you are the Juliet of my Romeo, the Bonnie to my Clyde, the piggy-back-riding midget of my Goliath … what I'm trying to say is … Camtrap, I … lo- OOOWWWW!"

"AAAHHH! Get away from our lovely Camtrap, will you?!" one of the women screeched with horrid disgust as she forcefully kick Claptrap away from Camtrap.

"Your futile attempts to brainwash our lovely Camtrap make me want to hurl!" the other woman cried with equal outrage and disgust. "Why don't you take your excruciatingly horrid harassment somewhere else, you piece of trash! Camtrap's mind would not be sullied by your disgusting thoughts of integration!"

"Umm, misses, I think you're being too harsh on this poor Claptrap. He's just being friendly." Camtrap defended Claptrap with a gentle tone of voice as she feels kind of sympathetic of the poor Claptrap that is being harshly rejected.

"Oh, nonsense. Claptrap is used to this sort of abuse." one woman commented condescendingly. "He should know better than to butt his head into the presence of someone as elegant and lovely as you are, Camtrap."

"That's right, cute little Camtrap." the other woman advised with adoration. "And remember, do not listen to pretentious bad-boy types like him. They are bound to toy with your fragile emotions and throw you away when they see another pretty robot. Trust us … we are doing this for your own safety."

"Umm … I don't know." Camtrap reconsidered shyly.

"Oh, silly Camtrap. Don't think too hard on this." one of the women persuaded. "Save your processing power for something else. Now … shall we go back to touring the city."

"Brilliant idea! Let's continue." the other woman agreed enthusiastically.

As the trio continues their tour, one of the women kicked Claptrap aside one more time before walking away from him. Upon this heartbreaking defeat, Claptrap got up and couldn't help but sigh depressingly before he wheels back to his run-down shack. As he wheels away, he takes off his fake emo-wig and sleeveless jeans jacket and tosses them aside.

* * *

During this time, Eugene was inside Scooter's garage and in the process of maintaining his Mason mini-tank. Eugene had previously asked Scooter to borrow a section of his garage to use as working space. Of course, Scooter gladly agrees, seeing as he and Ellie now have the opportunity to observe the inner-workings of a new piece of state-of-the-art Dahl-tech. As a bunch of mechanical parts and tools are all neatly laid out on a large rectangular table, Eugene meticulously works on his mini-tank while Scooter and Ellie takes a peek at the various parts.

"Hot damn, them are some fine-ass Dahl-tech right there." Scooter commented excitedly as he looks over Eugene's shoulders to observe the maintenance process. "I bet I would trade mah left nut just for a piece of that shiny hardware. Two of mah nuts for half-of all the parts. Three of mah nuts if I could have the entire tank … if I had three to spare."

"Oh, calm your engines, Scooter. No one's tradin' nuts for parts, ye hear?" Ellie reacted more rationally, trying to calm down Scooter's mecha-maniac urges, before focusing her attention to Eugene. "Sorry about that. Mah brother's a bit hyperactive when it comes to high-tech machines."

"Heh, it's no problem at all, girl." Eugene replied smugly. "I expected Pandoran folks like him to be amazed by the latest in Dahl technology. It's kinda flattering, actually. After all, the best-of-the-best has got to have the best gear to use on the battlefield. It's only natural for people to be impressed."

"You think you could let me have a closer look at them parts?" Scooter pleaded eagerly, craving to examine the mini-tank's inner-workings even further. "I might even be able to make a few improvements on the design and such. Whatta ya say?"

"Well, that'll be nice, but I'm afraid I cannot let you, or anyone else for that matter, touch the tank." Eugene said regrettably. "The Corporate Vault Hunt prohibits anyone from messing with the gear that has been specifically made to be used on this event. In fact, even I cannot alter its design while I use it on the battlefield. All I could do is routine maintenance and the occasional field-strip. Only the R&amp;D people from Dahl could make any modifications."

"Aww, what a shame, man. If I could get mah hands on it, I would totally make it a heck lot better." Scooter complained disappointingly. " Like how any gal could be made slightly more attractive with a boob-job or realizing that they are your distant relative. Ahahahaha …"

" *Sigh* … c'mon, Scooter, let's get back to our own work." Ellie ordered in mild annoyance as she rolls her eyes. She then pulls on the back-neck Scooter shirt to move him away from Eugene so that Eugene won't get distracted from his work.

As Scooter and Ellie move to another part of the garage, they met up with Axton, who was just entering the garage for his own turret-maintenance. Axton usually does his turret maintenance inside Scooter's garage on occasion. While machine-maintenance work could technically be done anywhere, it should ideally be done in a machine shop like Scooter's garage for better access to machine tools and such. In fact, Axton and Gaige often fight over who gets to use a reserved section of Scooter's garage to maintain their military grade-turret/robot of death. Nowadays, they just take turns, but they would still occasionally argue the sh*t about it.

"Oh, hey, Axton. Good mornin'." Ellie greeted politely as she saw Axton.

"Good morning. I'm here for the usual, just like always." Axton replied.

"Oh snap! I almost forgot that today's your turn to use the space." Scooter noted shockingly as he now remembers that particular detail. "Well, your Dahl Commando friend is over there using your space, so … uh, sorry about that."

Axton look over to see Eugene using the workspace to maintain his mini-tank. Realizing that, Axton couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed.

"Wow, he's here already? When did first get here?" Axton asked out of curiosity.

"Not too long. Only a couple minutes ago." Ellie replied.

"I'm real sorry, man. Hey, you want me to go talk to him? Tell him that you needed the space?" Scooter offered apologetically.

"Nah, it's alright. I'll go talk to him. You guys just go on ahead." Axton reassured Scooter and Ellie as he walks calmly towards Eugene.

"Hah, whatever you say, man." Scooter expressed with relief as he and Ellie walk to another part of the garage to resume on their own work.

Meanwhile, Axton approaches Eugene near the workspace. Eugene noticed Axton walking up to him and greeted him with mild delight.

"Oh hey, Ax. Doing your morning turret fix-up?" Eugene asked smugly, half-focusing on conversing with Axton and half-focusing on his mechanical work.

"Yeah, I am … and this is supposed to be my space." Axton noted grumpily.

"Oh really? Sorry, I didn't know. That Scooter guy didn't tell me." Eugene realized with mild shock and unease.

"It's alright." Axton spoke in a forgiving manner.

"Here, I'll split the space between you and me. You take half and I'll take half." Eugene suggested as he moves the parts around so that he could leave an open space for Axton to work on. "We'll work side-by-side, cleaning out dirt and putting on oil to our lovely machines, just like the good ol' days, eh?"

"Thanks." Axton replied indifferently as he proceeds to take out his own Sabre-turret for repair. He starts off by taking the turret apart, piece-by-piece, and then carefully lay them out all over his section of the desk.

Eugene and Axton both continue to work quietly on their own respective machines. It feels kind of awkward for them not to talk, since they are long-time war buddies who have been through a lot and probably has way too much to catch up on. It feels like their partially-strained relationship is preventing them from having a proper conversation.

"You seem a bit quiet, Ax. What's wrong?" Eugene broke the silence as he continues his work. "You're often very chatty when it comes to maintaining your turret. Usually, it's talking about cringe-worthy flirty stuff with your turret that I don't think husbands would even say to their wives. I know you, Axton. And when you are being this quiet, I know something is wrong."

" *Sigh* … I don't know, man. Everything just feels so … sudden." Axton expressed with uncertainty. "Dahl participating on this corporate vault hunt … you being here on Pandora … I mean, what's even the deal here? What is Dahl's decision on my actions? Are they still trying to kill me? Is that your mission?"

"Well, I wouldn't say they are completely abandoning the idea of killing you on sight." Eugene explained smugly. "But they are putting that plan on hold. Seeing as the Corporate Vault Hunt takes more priority here, they don't want me to be distracted on anything else. And since the rules of the event prevent any other Dahl personnel from coming here on Pandora, I highly doubt that they are going to send people to cap your ass anytime soon. Though, I'm pretty sure that once this is over, their eyes will be dead-set on bringing you to back to the firing squad. You know how Dahl is. They are strict as hell in their military laws, even risking countless soldiers just to maintain it. Discipline above all else: one of the Dahl Commando's mottos."

"I see. Well, I'm not worried. If I were meant to die, I would have done so while fighting against Handsome Jack and Hyperion." Axton bragged confidently. "Dahl can send any soldier it wants to get me. I know Dahl from the inside-out, so there's pretty much nothing they can throw at me that surprises me anymore. In fact, I think I remember Jarter coming to Pandora to try to kill me. You remember Jarter, right?"

"Oh yeah … that asshole." Eugene said waveringly, pretending not to know about what happened to Jarter since he was the one who blew him up into chunky pieces with a tank shell. "… Uh, what happened to him, exactly?"

"Well, the weird thing about it was … he's dead. He blew up. Nothing but bits of him left." Axton described. "It all happened on this vacation resort island on Pandora. I was visiting there with my other vault hunter pals for a nice relaxing break. Then, out of nowhere, … *BLAM* … he was pretty much dead before we even got there."

"I see …" Eugene commented lightly as he keeps the truth hidden.

"It's kinda strange, really." Axton noted with intrigue. "Despite of Jarter being an asshole, he was just as good as the rest of the other Commandos. It's not like him to be easily killed like that. So whoever killed him must have been a pro."

"Heh, you feel sorry for him?" Eugene asked as he stops his maintenance to comb his hair with his signature comb.

"Hardly. I'm just curious, that's all." Axton remarked. "Apparently, he was part of a group known as 'Victims of Vault Hunters' who aims to target vault hunters who have wronged someone in the group in some way. Who knew vault hunters could have so many enemies in such unexpected places."

"Yeah, well, I'll keep that in mind." Eugene said smugly before putting his comb away and resuming to his mini-tank maintenance. "As for Jarter, it's probably someone Sarah sent to eliminate in order to protect your ass."

"Wait, how did you know Sarah was behind it?" Axton asked with surprise. "I received an ECHO-message from Sarah shortly after Jarter died. That's how I knew she had something to do with it. But how did you know about it?"

"Well … uh … lucky guess." Eugene answered with slight nervousness, trying to feign ignorance. "I mean, when you think about it, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? Even though she was the one who divorced your ass, I can tell that she still got the hots for you. Besides, she hates Jarter just as much as we do and she got intel on pretty much all of Dahl's personnel movement. Is it really that surprising that she would do something like this?"

"Huh … I guess you're right." Axton reasoned passively before pausing to think for a while. "… how is she by the way? … Sarah, I mean."

"Oh? Didn't know you cared, ex-husband." Eugene said smugly as he crossed his arms and leaned against the work-table. "Well … she's doing okay. Though, I wouldn't say she's … happy. I haven't seen her crack a smile since that … 'incident'. At least when you two were together, she does a barely noticeable smirk every now and again … you know, to indicate that not every day in the base back at Themis was a sh*tty day. Remember when she used to be the stoic lieutenant that we all see her as? It's like she reverted back to her humorless self the moment you were gone. It hadn't really been the same since."

"I see …" Axton said sentimentally as his heart is secretly aching that his ex-wife is being affected emotionally by his departure.

"It also didn't exactly help that what you did has put her into a pretty tough position …" Eugene added with minor contempt. "… seeing as how the higher-ups have been giving her a lot of sh*t lately."

"Eugene … *sigh* … you saw what happened. You know it has to be done." Axton convinced with resolve. "Sarah would have agreed with me."

"Did you even ask her … before you pulled the trigger?" Eugene questioned doubtingly, his usual smug demeanor gradually shifted to a more serious look.

"That kid died right in front of me, Eugene!" Axton gritted with anger.

"And you're so cocksure that killing more people is going to make it better." Eugene countered steadfastly.

"Look, after that incident … after what I did, I went back and … I saw Sarah founded that body … saw her wrapped her arms around that kid's lifeless corpse … wouldn't stop crying because of it … it's the first time I have ever saw her cry like that …" Axton reminisced with held-back anguish as he stops working on his turret to sit on the ground depressingly. "I knew she felt the emotional pain just as I did. I couldn't just … look away."

"Did you really did it for her? … Or did you do it for yourself?" Eugene questioned as he maintained his serious look.

"Don't give me that crap! You've never cared about the morals of war!" Axton snapped violently at Eugene as he got up from the ground and forcefully taps his finger at Eugene's chest to emphasize his point. "All you cared about was the thrills of danger! To see how close you can get to a bullet without it blowing your brains out! To see how many confirmed kills you can get under your name! To see how easily you can ignore the atrocities of war before it finally gets to you! You're the last person I want to hear from about whether what I did was right or wrong!"

"… we're not saints, Axton." Eugene argued with calmness contrasting to Axton's rage-filled anger. "We're not philosophers, or politicians, or priests. We're just soldiers. Always have been for 10 whole years. The brass gave us a mission, we do it. It's that simple … and you're just over-complicating it."

"Well, F*CK YOU!" Axton shouted angrily as he shoves Eugene away.

"Uh, 'xcuse me. Is there somethin' wrong?" Scooter came by to interject with a sense of concern as he saw the two of them arguing.

"Yeah, you guys seem kinda tense. Is everythin' alright?" Ellie came by as well, trying to dissolve the situation.

Both Axton and Eugene stood silently for a while to try to calm the tension in the air. Once the tense atmosphere was cleared, they both try to act like nothing has happened and proceed to return to their work.

"Yeah … everything's alright. Sorry for causing a commotion." Axton assured apathetically.

"Yeah … no need to worry. You know how we is." Eugene added in a cool manner as he slings an arm around Axton's shoulders. "Military grunts like us always like to shout stuff out loud, especially to each other. But it's all friendly and such. Don't worry too much about it."

"Uhh … alright." Scooter said as he scratches his head.

"Well, try to keep it down, will ya? Others are trying to work here." Ellie complained.

"Will do, girl. Won't happen again." Eugene promised with a friendly smile.

Not long after, Scooter and Ellie left the two Dahl commandos alone. Axton and Eugene have since work on their perspective machines for the rest of the morning in relative tranquility.

"… have you kept it?" Eugene spoke softly to Axton.

"What?" Axton asked confusingly, wondering what Eugene was talking about.

"The ring, Axton. The wedding ring." Eugene clarified.

"… yeah, I kept it." Axton muttered sentimentally as he held on to the wedding ring that marks the marriage between him and Sarah. Ever since the divorce, Axton has always held the ring close as he have it tied to a string and wrapped it around his neck.

"Well … at least you're not the only one." Eugene remarked. This causes Axton to widen his eyes a little in mild surprise, thinking that Eugene is implying that Sarah had kept her wedding ring as well. However, Axton ultimately refused to continue the conversation and instead focusing on his turret maintenance work in silence.

* * *

At the same time at another place in Sanctuary, on the concrete rooftop of a building where the open air is nice and breezy, Zer0 and Kazuki are standing still while facing each other at about a couple meters apart. They both stare at each other emotionlessly as they are about to commence an activity of sorts.

"Shall we begin?" Zer0 said with his signature mysteriously cool tone.

"I am ready when you are, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki replied politely.

"A true test of skill/ Reflex, precision, and stealth/ Let the trial start." Zer0 stated.

Afterwards, in a flash of a moment, Zer0 swiftly took out a regular kunai and throws it at directly Kazuki at almost lightning speed. Even though a normal person wouldn't even be able to perceive the fast-moving kunai, Kazuki is able to react just in time and catch the kunai in her hand with relative ease. If she were even a bit slower, the kunai would have stabbed her in the flesh, thereby further emphasizing Kazuki's impressive skills and reflexes. Kazuki then throws the kunai back at Zer0 with matching speed and skill, by which Zer0 also caught it with almost no effort. Essentially what they are doing is playing fetch … with deadly sharp ninja daggers.

"Your speed is maintained/ Skill was not slowed down one bit/ I am quite impressed." Zer0 praised mildly.

"You are too kind, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki thanked with a polite bow. "It's only because good teachers makes good students. I have been keeping up with the training routine even after you are gone. I do not wish to put all your teaching efforts to waste."

"Such a great resolve/ But can you seek to do more?/ To push your limits?" Zer0 asked.

"I will most certainly try my hardest." Kazuki replied earnestly.

"Very well." Zer0 said.

Zer0 then proceed to swiftly throw Kazuki a barrage of kunai in rapid succession, of which Kazuki caught with equal speed before throwing it back at Zer0, who catches it with even greater speed. As the swarm of kunai was tossed back and forth, Zer0 gradually increases the speed of his throws in order to push the limits of Kazuki's reflexes even further. While Kazuki is starting to feel overwhelmed, she is not deterred and continues to pursue the deadly game of catch-and-throw. Eventually, the flock of kunai is moving so fast that not even a naked human eye could detect it. Eventually, Kazuki senses that she is at her limits in terms of throwing and catching speed, so instead she swiftly activates her Talisman and attach an incendiary elemental throwing card onto one of the kunai before returning it with the barrage of other kunai back at Zer0. As a result, the moment Zer0 catches one of the kunai with the card attached to it, the card bursts into a small ball of flame which mildly singes Zer0's suit.

After that brief explosion of fire, Zer0's suit becomes charred, much to Kazuki's rather strange indifference, seeing as how she had nearly burned her sensei alive with that sleight-of-hand trick. However, upon closer inspection, that charred Zer0 was actually … a holographic decoy. As the Decepti0n decoy vanishes into thin air, the real Zer0 appears right next to where the decoy originally was , perfectly unharmed. While trying to burn your sensei alive was not something anyone should do in a conventional manner, Zer0 was actually quite impressed with what Kazuki did, seeing as how she uses trickery to almost catch Zer0 by surprise … which was the real test behind this game all along.

"Very impressive/ Use decepti0n to bend rules/ Just like I taught you." Zer0 praised with mild admiration.

"Well, you never said that it wasn't allowed." Kazuki explained logically as she adjusts her glasses in a cool manner. "And you have always taught me before not oblige to rules when there is none to begin with. All you have told me to do was to test my skills, not just the speed of my throws and catches alone. To truly exceed someone is to not play their game and follow their rules, but to make it so that they play your game and follow your rules instead."

"Still, it is dangerous/ You could have burned me alive/ With a flame like that." Zer0 pointed out.

"I knew you would be too smart and too quick to be caught in my attack." Kazuki explained. "The intensity of that flame equates to the level of my confidence that you would react fast enough to get out of that alive and unharmed. A true master assassin would have escaped that easily."

"Tactful logician/ Your potential is boundless/ You are a true gem." Zer0 praised in a cool manner.

" Zer0-sensei … you're too kind." Kazuki replied with mild embarrassment, showing a slight red blush on her cheeks.

"As of other things/ How is your father doing?/ Kenji, my old friend." Zer0 changed the subject.

"Oh, he's doing fine. Thank you for your kind concern. Though, he is still in the habit of overworking himself." Kazuki replied with a mixture of gratitude and concern. "I try to tell him to not put too much stress on his own body and mind, but he claims that the job of running a corporation, especially one as large as Maliwan, is never done and that to ease up even a little is to disrespect and demoralizes those who loyally work under him. I can see that it makes sense, but at the same time, I can't help but feel emotional pain that he is ruining his health because of it."

"He is quite stubborn/ But he's stronger than he looks/ You give him that strength." Zer0 pointed out.

"Thank you for your praise, but I'm afraid I do not deserve it." Kazuki refuted with mild sadness. "Maybe if I could assist him in running the company, then perhaps I could be of true help to him in a practical sense instead of merely being spiritual encouragement. However, I'm not as good with business as my nii-san (elder brother). Even if I were as good, certain people in the company would never acknowledge me to be a respected part of their corporation due to my illegitimacy. That is why winning this corporate vault hunt is so important to me. If I were able to prove to them that I have made a major contribution to the continuing success of Maliwan, surely they will accept me as being one of them, and then I'll be able to alleviate a fraction of the stress that is being placed on my father."

"You're a great daughter/ Risking life to gain honor/ He would be grateful." Zer0 said.

"Thank you, Zer0-sensei." Kazuki thanked politely before switching to another topic. "… come to think of it, I thought your career has mainly been focused on assassinations. I would never have thought vault-hunting would be of any interest to you."

"Focus has shifted/ It was a nice change of pace/ Keep things refreshing." Zer0 said.

"I see …" Kazuki said understandably before displaying a small smile of innocent curiosity. "… so, being a novice vault hunter myself, is there any advice you can give me regarding this particular line of work? Perhaps any specific info relating to Pandora that might be helpful?"

"Hmm …" Zer0 took a while to consider before he spoke. "No shortage of guns/ No shortage of ammo, too/ Guns, guns, guns, guns … guns."

"Uhh … okay?" Kazuki uttered softly with a blank stare.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mordecai and Monty are sitting leisurely inside Moxxi's bar as they exchange stories of their adventures. Mordecai was of course fighting alongside the Crimson Raiders against Handsome Jack's regime while Monty was traveling throughout the six galaxies to immerse himself into the uncharted natural habitats of the wild and discovering new tasty recipes for all the exotic ingredients he found.

"… and then I had to drink a lot of rakk-ale just to make it through the day." Mordecai explained the side-story about Bloodwing's loss to Monty. "Losing a friend will do that to ya."

"I get that feeling. I've lost someone close to me, too. But, eventually, we will learn to move on." Monty sympathized with Mordecai as Talon clings onto Monty's arm in a manner similar to that of a falconry trainer. Monty even affectionately tickles Talon's down-feathers near its neck, which Talon sort of likes. "Ain't that right, Talon? Good boy, Talon~. Nice Talon.~"

" *Gawk* …" Talon cries affectionately in response as he spread his wings to welcome Monty's contact. It's almost like Monty is skilled with taming animals just as much as he is skilled with cooking them.

"Wow, he likes you already." Mordecai noted with mild surprise. "Usually, he's pretty aggressive around unfamiliar people. He even tries to bite Lilith's fingers multiple times."

"What could I say? I'm good with animals." Monty responded in a friendly manner as he hands Talon back to Mordecai. "Now, let's say we cook ourselves some mornin' grub for everybody. I'm pretty sure everyone's gettin' hungry by now. Where's the kitchen?"

"You mean if we have a kitchen around here?" Mordecai pauses to think as he feeds Talon some nuts and seeds that he pulls out from his pocket as a snack. "I don't know. We usually just order take-out or roast stuff over at a campfire. You could ask Moxxi if you want."

"Alrightie!" Monty cheered with enthusiasm, anticipating for his chance to flex his cooking muscles once again. He calmly walks towards Moxxi, who is working at the other side of the bar, and politely tips his gray cowboy hat to greet the seductive bar owner. "Howdy, miss. Nice mornin' we got today."

"Oh, hey there, cowboy. You're one of the corporate vault hunters I've been hearing about? A friend of Mordecai's?" Moxxi replied with her usual seductive tone before shifting to a slightly more spiteful tone. "Toying with that nutty bird of his, haven't you?"

"Well, I wouldn't put it like that. Talon's sort of a youngin', and birds of his species always wants to use their beaks to cling onto anything that remotely seems like food." Monty explained kindly. "I think it's quite adorable, to be honest. Reminds me a lot of Bloodwing."

"Hmph, whatever." Moxxi remarked dismissively while rolling her eyes as she mops the bar table. Despite of knowing what happened to Bloodwing and how deeply it affected Mordecai, Moxxi wasn't really fond of that bird, which is one of the main reasons Mordecai and Moxxi's previous relationship turns sour. Nowadays, they just play it cool and act sort of like distant friends, but there is still a bit of tension remaining between them. "Anyway, what can I get for you, sugar? Too early for a stiff drink, don't you think?"

"Actually, I was hopin' to borrow your kitchen for a while, so I can cook up some grub for everybody." Monty suggested with a polite smile.

"An amateur chef, huh? Well, I certainly wouldn't mind, but I'm afraid we don't have much in terms of ingredients." Moxxi disclosed with mild concern. "Mostly, it's either canned-skag meat or pizza. But, hey, it's better than nothing and nothing is pretty much what most people on Pandora are eating, so they sure as hell not complaining when they do get a meal once in a while."

"Huh … I see. Well, it's 'bout time that people around here get a great-tastin' meal every now and again to livin' things up." Monty said confidently. "Plus, I count myself as a pretty resourceful guy. A lack of ingredients ain't no problem to me. Heck, if you go out there in the wilderness and pick up a blade of grass, I could probably cook somethin' out of it. I'm sure I'll think of somethin'."

"Whatever you say, sugar. Follow me." Moxxi shrugged before leading Monty to a door at the back of the bar, which contains the bar's kitchen.

On the surface, the kitchen seems quite small and a bit messy. There are several rusted pots and pans hanging on the racks and only several minor cooking ingredients in small quantities. Much of the surfaces are mildly dirty and there's even a dank smell lingering in the air, indicating that this kitchen hasn't been cleaned in a while.

"Here it is. Told you it wasn't much." Moxxi said indifferently.

"Hmm …" Monty went to a cardboard box nearby to find a bunch of vegetables inside. There, he carefully selects a few of the non-rotten ones and sniffs them for its freshness and aroma. Afterwards, Monty displays a smile of confidence to indicate that cooking up a decent breakfast in this kitchen is not impossible. "Yeah, this should be enough. I'll have somethin' tasty cooked up in no time." Monty then readies himself by first taking off his short cloak and wraps it around his waist like an improvised apron. He then takes off his gray cowboy hat and neatly puts it aside so it won't get dirty in the cooking process. Lastly, he rolls up his arm-sleeves and takes out a stalk of wheat to chew on.

"Alright, then. If you say so, sugar." Moxxi replied with wavering confidence. "Just make sure not to … burn down the kitchen or anything like that."

"Hehehe … don't worry, Miss Moxxi. I'll be careful." Monty reassured with a bright and gentle smile before he starts cooking.

While Monty is working on breakfast, Moxxi walks out of the kitchen and went back to tending the bar. As she got back to the bar, she looked at the far distance to see a new yet familiar face, slowly and drunkenly lumbering across the bar like a bear trying to clumsily walk upright on two hind legs. That face, with its large scar down its left eye and bushy mustache (MUSTACHE! *gets kicked in the face for his obsession with mustaches*) belongs to none other than Oleg. As he is struggling to even find a bar stool to sit on, Oleg seems to be showing symptoms to a major hangover, which is not surprising considering that last night he drank the equivalent amount of booze enough to give a dozen men alcohol poisoning. As Oleg is holding onto his head to try to keep his hangover headache in check, Moxxi couldn't help but feel a little pity for this wallowing trench-coat giant.

"Getting hungover already? Told ya you shouldn't drink too much, sugar." Moxxi advised Oleg with a hint of concern mixed in with her usual innuendo talk. "Well, you may think that your gargantuan size might make the effects of alcohol a bit easier to tolerate, but handling alcohol is like handling a lady … size is not the only thing that matters, hun~."

As Oleg tries gets a hold of himself, his eyes finally gains a bit of focus … enough for him to see Moxxi clearly from across the bar table. Once Oleg got a good look of Moxxi's complexion, his eyes widen in surprise as memories from his past starts to surface from within his befuddled mind. It's not that Moxxi's pretty … well, she is, but that's not the point … it's that Moxxi kinda reminds Oleg of someone else … someone he once knew.

"Oh boy, don't look at me like that, sugar. A lady can get embarrassed, you know.~" Moxxi teased as she tries to look away from the gaze of Oleg's widened eyes. "Or rather, do look. I don't really mind.~" Moxxi then faces Oleg eye-to-eye as she leans towards Oleg's face, close enough that she could almost smell the strong alcoholic stench coming from Oleg's breath. As Moxxi advances more, her tone of voice gradually becomes softer and sexier. "But, hey, aren't your eyes supposed to aim … a bit lower?~"

"Uhh … *clears throat* … it's not that." Oleg muttered awkwardly as he tries to back away from Moxxi's closing advancement. "It's just … you reminded me of someone I know …" It is not false. Oleg used to know someone who looks and acts almost exactly like Moxxi. A certain someone whom … Oleg had a complicated relationship with. While Oleg doesn't like to be reminded of that relationship, he can't help but think of it again the moment he saw Moxxi's appearance and observed her mannerisms. The similarities are almost too striking to be real. Is this a wild coincidence? Or could the vodka finally be getting to him?

"Oh really?" Moxxi questioned while crossing her arms and raising a doubtful eyebrow. "Is it someone special? Someone … you have a liking for?~"

"… *clears throat* … I prefer to keep it a secret." Oleg stated, trying to refrain from taking about his troubled past. "Besides, it wasn't that interesting of a story anyway."

And with that sentence, Oleg followed up with another swig of vodka from his bottle, much to Moxxi's dismay. However, this time, instead of gulping it down like usual, Oleg felt a sudden rush of nausea and have an uncontrollable urge to throw up. Trying to at least have the decency of not dirtying the floors inside the bar, Oleg abruptly dashes towards the nearest exit so that he could vomit onto the ground outside. It seems like the symptoms of Oleg's hangover just keeps getting worse. Moxxi follows Oleg outside of the bar to see the act of Oleg's hangover-vomiting and couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed as she sees that Oleg's drinking habits are finally catching up to him.

"See, what did I tell ya?" Moxxi criticized Oleg in a carefree yet serious manner. "You go crazy with the booze and it goes crazy all over your insides."

" *Sigh* …" Oleg didn't speak a word. Instead, he got back inside the bar and sat back onto the bar stool … and proceed to drink from his vodka bottle again.

"Wow … I've seen my fair share of die-hard alcoholics in my lifetime, but you at a whole other level." Moxxi spoke with a mixture of awe and irritation as she observed how Oleg persisted on drinking. "How could you be drinking after that?"

" *Grunts* …" Oleg slams the vodka bottle hard onto the table right after a large gulp before wiping his wet lips with his sleeves. He then stares Moxxi right in the eyes while saying this. "… hair of the dog."

"Seriously?!" Moxxi exclaimed with irritated shock. "That's your excuse for drinking so much in the morning? You know that's just a myth, right? Trying to cure a hangover by drinking more alcohol? If that actually works, there would be no hangovers to speak of."

"Hmph, how ironic that someone who's in the business of selling alcohol is telling people to drink less alcohol." Oleg remarked.

"Hey, I only sell booze so that people who are reasonably able to moderate it is able to have a good time." Moxxi argued in a serious and passionate manner, gradually growing more furious as she argues. "Alcohol should be used as a way to help benefit a person's soul while still maintaining a healthy body. As a bar owner, I look after my patrons' well-being just as much as I sell them liquefied escapism, and it is people like YOU who gives alcohol a bad name, which completely infuriates me!"

"Hmph, whatever you say …" Oleg replied impartially as he continues to drink out of his vodka bottle, ignoring Moxxi's debate.

" *Sigh* … Alright, you know what?!" Moxxi snapped as she grabbed Oleg's vodka bottle away and puts it aside, much to Oleg's annoyance. "Instead of fruitlessly washing away your headache and nausea with that, why don't I give you a REAL hangover cure?" Immediately afterwards, Moxxi took out a plastic gallon jug from the mini-fridge under the bar table. She then opens the jug and pours a red-purple concoction, similar to that of a smoothie, into a large glass and serves it to Oleg. "It's a secret recipe, meticulously crafted by yours truly~. Works like a charm, if I do say so myself. Even though the ingredients for it are hard to come by from intergalactic supply transports, the results are well worth it. People around here ordered it all the time whenever they need a pick-me-up from intense partying the night before. I call it … Ante Meridiem Brio. 'AMB' for short. Go on … try it out."

At first, Oleg looked at the glass of thick liquid with suspicious eyes, but in the end decided to give it a try. He took one huge gulp, emptying away almost half of the glass in an instant. It tasted … kind of pleasant, actually. Almost invigorating … at least, when drank by a hungover person like Oleg. The sweetness, sourness, and spiciness of the drink are mixed in just the right proportions to give it a good wake-up kick to the drinker. However, as Oleg carefully tastes the drink, he gradually feels that the taste of it … seems awfully familiar.

"What do you think?" Moxxi asked with a mixture of excitement and pride. "Really gives any drunkard the spirit to wake up in the morning headstrong and ready to take the day, huh?"

"Eh … it's okay." Oleg shrugged before attempting to finish the rest of the drink.

"Well … at least that's a compliment … about as much as I can hope to get from you for now." Moxxi remarked casually before coming up with an idea. "How about this? Try guessing what ingredients are in that drink. If you can guess at least half of the ingredients correctly, that drink is on-the-house. If you can guess all of the ingredients, I'll even throw in a second glass, completely free. What do you think?"

" *Sigh* … my headache is not completely subsided yet for me to think clearly … but, sure, I'll play your game." Oleg agreed after he finishes more than three-quarters of the drink.

"Really? *Laughs* … good luck trying to figure that one out. This drink has over 20 ingredients. I highly doubt you can name even five of them." Moxxi explains as she almost laughs out loud. "Alright, how about this? I'll give you a hint. I'll tell you three of the ingredients. You have to guess the rest. Let's see … there are tomatoes, bananas, almond milk …"

"… Tabasco peppers, coconut oil, avocado, kale, cactus extract, arrowroot …" Oleg lists the rest of the ingredients with astonishing ease. "… peppermint, chia seeds, raw egg yolk, clam juice, beef broth, peanut butter, willow bark extract, walnuts, sea salt, horseradish, Greek yogurt, and … of course … a deep-fried canary."

"… wha-" Moxxi's jaws literally dropped as Oleg actually listed all of the ingredients correctly and concisely. To her, this seems almost impossible. Only a handful of people have ever known about the existence of this special recipe, let alone its full ingredients list. How could this corporate vault hunter have known …? As Moxxi tries to figure this out in her head, her mouth is struggling to find words to speak. "How … how did you-"

"… because nothing wakes you up early like devouring an early bird." Oleg continues to say.

Those words have practically turned Moxxi's face pale … well, more pale than she already is with her make-up. '… because nothing wakes you up early like devouring an early bird …' She recognized those exact words. Those words buried deep within her memories from way too long ago. Words of which could only have been spoken by a special someone whom Moxxi once knew. Someone who was close to her. Someone who eventually left the planet of Pandora, leaving Moxxi and her family alone to fend for themselves. Someone whom she thought she would never see ever again. As the memories flashes chaotically inside her head, Moxxi could only stand motionless and speechless as she tries to process this sudden flood of intense emotions,

" *Gulp* … *Sigh*…" Oleg finally finishes the entire glass of AMB, and is interested enough for another glass. "Refill, please."

"How … how did you know? … About the ingredients?" Moxxi asked, wide-eyed in shock. Her low dull voice is contrasted to her usual seductive tone.

"Hmph, you said it was a special recipe?" Oleg doubted lazily with a raised eyebrow. "If someone like me is able to figure it out … I guess it's not so special anymore."

Moxxi finally snapped. She abruptly closes in towards Oleg from across the bar table and forcefully grabs him by the collar while pressing her wrathful eyes against his. For a moment there, Moxxi is not acting like her usual self. She is less of a seductress and more of a raging beast of violence. Even Oleg is surprised by how strong and savage this woman has suddenly become.

"WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT RECIPE?! WHO WAS IT?! TELL ME NOW!" Moxxi yelled at Oleg with intense rage. The yell was so loud that almost everyone at the bar could hear it. If what Moxxi suspected was true … about how Oleg figured out that recipe … then, this could be huge. Moxxi may finally know the whereabouts of … that person.


	37. Breakfast Club

**Author's note: Hello, readers! Wow, it's like over three months since I've last posted a chapter. Sorry if my short break turned out to be more of a mini-hiatus to some of you readers. But a lot has been going on lately. I got a part-time job over the month. A little game called "Overwatch" had just entered into my life (Well, it didn't actually enter far enough since my incredibly old laptop couldn't run the damn game without lagging like a motherf*cker and I don't have the money to buy a new computer! God damn it! That iinfuriates me!) And … also … uh … my grandmother just went to the hospital. I don't like to go into the details, but basically, it's pretty bad … yeah.**

**Regardless of the excuses, I'm sorry that it took so long for me to post these chapters. There are times when I feel like I just want to give up … that I just don't have the energy to do it anymore … but your encouragement kept me going, and I truly appreciate all of you for that. I initially did fanfiction to blow off some steam in a way no other activity could. And because of that, I used to never give a sh*t about what people think of my work. But, gradually over time, I started to care. I began to have this desire to treat this type of writing as an artform. An outlet of creativity. An indication of my potential. A journey to my own soul. An opportunity to genuinely connect with the world … to all of you.**

**Worst case scenario, it might take me months or even years to put together the next chapter, but I swear on my life that I will use my last dying breath to finish this fanfic if I have to. Again, sorry for the delay. I wish my grandmother gets better or at least gets herself a nice spot in heaven. Enjoy the reads, MOTHERF*CKERS!**

* * *

Chapter 37: Breakfast Club

As the hot-as-flames bartender and the binge-drinking mercenary are about to have a heated conversation, there is someone else walking down the streets of Sanctuary, cautiously scanning every inch of the city hoping to find a place to shop (and also to make sure someone doesn't mug him, shank him, and/or have surprise butt-sex with him, which are all, unfortunately, very likely possibilities when you're on Pandora). That meticulously economic man is none other than Brandon, the corporate vault hunting representative of Tediore. He is of course accompanied by his sarcastically cheerful older sister, Xiao Lan, who was just abruptly woken up from her beauty sleep by Brandon and is still a bit tired from all this commotion. Xiao Lan Chen is definitely not a morning person.

" *Yawn* You know I'm not a morning person, Brandon." Xiao Lan complained in a tired voice. She is currently dressed in her usual red formal-wear and sporting a half-asleep look on her face. "Why do you have to drag me along in this shopping trip anyway?"

"Because if I'm going to die the 18 levels of hell, I'm dragging you along with me." Brandon replied with morbid sarcasm while displaying an uncaring look towards his sister.

"Oh~! How wonderful that I get to spend all of eternity in hell with my little brother~!" Xiao Lan exclaimed, fluttering her eyelids in a melodramatic fashion. Sarcasm must have been hereditary in this family. "We get to play Chinese poker all night long, like we always do when we were kids, and I'll always win~!"

"Yeah, well that's not the _only_ reason I brought you with me." Brandon explained, returning to a more serious tone as he slightly re-adjusts his black neck-tie. "I've heard Pandora is a shady place in more ways than one. There's no telling if and when I might get conned while doing business here. It's better to have someone by my side as a second pair of eyes to make sure that happens less often. The economy, sis … the economy takes no prisoners." Brandon clenched his fist as he described the economy. (I feel you, man. The economy can be quite a b*tch sometimes …) "In fact, there's this one time when I was doing business with a merchant from Pandora a couple of months ago. I was still working for Tediore at the time, and I had to sell a shipment of guns to that merchant. However, I severely underestimate that guy's bargaining skills. It's kind of a long story, but let's just say I ended up paying for it and it made me look bad in front of all of my higher-ups at Tediore."

"Wow! A workaholic such as yourself could actually make mistakes at your job? How unprecedented!" Xiao Lan remarked with playful exaggeration. "Anyway, if you have such a bad history with Pandoran merchants, why even come here to shop? We got all of the essentials right back at Blue Moby. What could you possibly need that you're willing to become this desperate?"

"Why, I'm buying guns, of course." Brandon answered flatly.

"Wait, really? Guns? Haven't you been provided with guns from Tediore already?" Xiao Lan questioned with a raised eyebrow. "Also, isn't it against the rules of the corporate vault hunt to use guns that are not provided to you?"

"No, it's against the rules to use guns from another brand." Brandon corrected. "I've checked the rules and I'm pretty sure that as long as it has Tediore's brand name on it, I am allowed to use it. Besides, when I came here to do this corporate vault hunt thing, Tediore only provided me with cheap and crappy versions of their guns. None of them were above a green-rarity! How dare they?! And here I was, risking my neck just to improve their corporate image! Those cheapskate bastards …"

"Hmm, I don't know. Tediore sorta reminds me of another cheapsake bastard I knew …" By that, Xiao Lan is implying Brandon is a cheapskate bastard.

"Hey! I'm economically and financially smart! I'm not a cheapskate! There is a difference!" Brandon furiously argued. "Anyway, given the reputation of Pandora, it's safe to say that I'm going to need a major upgrade on my firepower if I'm ever going to get out of this alive. If that means I am better prepared for the fight, I'm willing to take the risk in dealing with these sleazy Pandoran merchants once again."

By the time the brother-sister pair had finished their casual conversations, they came across a large advertisement sign saying "GUNS" with a picture of Marcus's face labeled on it. Beyond that lies an alleyway which leads downstairs to a merchant stand. Guess if you looking for guns, there's not a more obvious sign than that. Brandon and Xiao Lan strolled down the stairs only to hear a sudden gun-shot going off from inside the shop, which causes the two to jolt a little in astonishment.

"Oww! Aaaahhhhh! My knee! I used to be an adventurer, you know!" A random dude just collapsed on the floor in front of Marcus's stand, clutching onto his bloody knee and screaming in pain. Brandon and Xian Lan's faces went pale in fright as they saw this abrupt and moderately f*cked-up occurrence.

"I don't care if you are the son of a dragon or something, I'm not changing my one-and-only policy of this store." Marcus announced from the other side of the counter, separated by a cage-like fence. He is holding onto a gun with a smoking barrel, which is presumably used to shoot the poor bastard who is squirming on the ground right now. "… NO REFUNDS!"

"Oww … you won't get away with this! I'll be back! And I WILL GET MY REFUND!" The random dude stated in loud but pretentious rage before he gets up and limps out of the store.

"Pfft, well good luck with that!" Marcus shouted back at the random dude. Almost immediately, the presence of Brandon and Xiao Lan has caught the attention of Marcus, at which he instantly shifts his tone of voice from angry to friendly, a habit formed over the years to attract customers. "Oh! … *Clears throat* Well, hello there, customers! Didn't see you there. Oh, don't worry about that guy. He constantly buys guns on a tab and doesn't pay up. Sometimes, you have to be a little ruthless to your customers once in a while to show them you mean business. To show that you won't be pushed around, you know. But don't worry! As long as you have the money for my products and services, I can be a perfectly reasonable guy." Marcus then habitually displays a totally fabricated fat smile, showing his one golden tooth among his regular row of teeth.

"Yeah … I'm sure you can be." Brandon murmured nervously as he adjusts his thick-framed nerdy glasses.

"Hmm, you two don't seem like the locals. Came from another planet, I presume." Marcus deducted, as the clean and neat clothing that Brandon and Xiao Lan are wearing indicates to Marcus that they might be loaded with cash. Well, loaded with more cash than an average citizen of Pandora, anyway. "What can I get you for?"

" *Sigh* I'll get straight to the point. I need guns from the Tediore brand only. I want the best ones you got." Brandon demanded straightforwardly.

"Tediore, eh? Sure, they have fast reload speeds, but they are generally considered cheap cookie cutter crap compared to the other brands." Marcus compared with casual honesty, which mildly hurts Brandon's pride since he is supposed to be a representative of Tediore. "If you want, I could interest you in some of the other brands, like Dahl, or Jakobs, or Maliwan."

"Actually, he is one of the representatives of the Corporate Vault Hunt. I'm sure you've heard about it, right?" Xiao Lan butted into the conversation as she pats Brandon on the shoulder. "A competition among corporation-hired professionals to find the vault and all that nonsense? The rules restrict him to only using the brand of guns that falls apart like wet cardboard on a rainy day." Xiao Lan's stinging remarks only deepened Brandon's embarrassment towards his association with the brand. "It's such a shame, really. It's not like his life depends on it or anything … oh wait, yes it is. And I'll be damned if I have to rely my life on a gun that is more effective at being thrown than it is at actual shooting." Salt the wounds, Xiao Lan Chen. Salt the motherf*ckin' crap out of them wounds.

"The Corporate Vault Hunt? Ah, yes, I've heard about it on the ECHO-net. Can't believe that is actually happening on a place like Sanctuary." Marcus comprehended as he rubs his chin. "Well, if that's the case, have I got something nice for you! As they always say on Pandora: 'If you're not buying guns from Marcus, you might as well be dead.' My prices cannot be beat anywhere else on this planet."

"Wait a minute … Marcus? Marcus Kincaid?!" Brandon blurted out loud. Both of his hands slam on the counter in shocking revelation as his widened eyes are fixated at the overweight merchant.

"Uh, yes … do I know you?" Marcus asked with mild confusion and unease.

"You sleazy scoundrel!" Brandon shouted out loud as he pointed an incriminating finger at Marcus. "You're the Pandoran merchant who I sold guns to at almost nothing!"

"I buy guns from a lot of places. You have to be more specific." Marcus demanded while crossing his arms, attempting to be defensive.

"Remember me?! Brandon?! Mr. Chen?!" Brandon clarified with much ferocity. "A couple of months ago, I was the Tediore salesman who sold you a shipment of guns that was delivered on Pandora! You keep yammering about the guns being poor quality and second-hand, even though they are brand-new and straight from the assembly line! You ended up threatening to cancel the transaction unless I gave you a huge discount, remember?!"

"Aaahhh, so this is the Pandoran merchant who conned you a couple of months ago." Xiao Lan commented at the side. "My, my, the universe sure is smaller than it looks, running into old acquaintances like that so easily."

"Ohhhhhh … come to think of it, I do remember you." Marcus realized, his memories starting to come back to him as he scratches his head. "The salesman with a nervous and stuttering voice. Honestly, when I first called you, I thought you were an intern or something."

"MY SALES PITCH WAS A WORK IN PROGRESS, OKAY?!" Brandon shouted with a hint of humiliation mixed with his rage. "And stop trying to change the subject! That sale was totally unreasonable! There was practically no revenue coming back to me!" Brandon continues to quarrel, his anger gradually growing by the second. "And do you know what's the _worst_ part is?! … All of the money was in the form of _cash_! But not in the regular paper currency that _normal_ people use, oh no! It was in the form … of BOBBLEHEADS! WITH YOUR UGLY FAT HEAD ON IT!" Brandon pulled on his hair and gritted his teeth in frustration as he roared those words. "Let me ask you, merchant. Under what universe does BOBBLEHEADS … COUNTS … AS … CURRENCY?!"

" *Gasp* You use bobbleheads as money? How adorable~!" Xiao Lan added with a mockingly cute tone.

"What could I say? It was all the rage a couple of years back." Marcus shrugged. "Pandoran locals back then certainly have no problem using it."

" *Deep exhale* I got scolded by my superiors for having a sale that pretty much breaks even on paper." Brandon continued to rant, his red-faced anger slowly transforming into tear-jerking sadness. " *Sniff* I ended up having to pull money out of my own pocket just to fill up the profit margins. I was this close into losing my job, and you know how rough the job market is in this godforsaken economy." Brandon took out a packet of tissues to blow his nose in as he continues to cry miserably, which admittedly makes Marcus slightly uncomfortable and sympathetic. " *Sniff* … *Sob* … It was the most terrible moment I've ever had during my time working at Tediore … *Sniff* and I've had some pretty bad moments after that … DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?!"

" *Sigh* Listen. Back then … the Crimson Raiders had it rough." Marcus empathetically tried to calm down the weeping salesman. "They were going up against Hyperion, so they needed all the firepower they can get. Most of which is provided by me, of course. If it makes you feel any better, those guns that I bought from you ended up saving a lot of people."

" *Sniff* Well, guess what, it didn't make me feel better _enough_." Brandon pursues his argument, returning to a more scornful tone. "I've got a wife and three kids, for crying out loud! I need to put food on the table and pay my mortgages and put my kids through college! We can't all be heroes here! Some of us cannot afford to be!"

"Oh, I'm sure your wife can skip a few meals here and there." Xiao Lan pointed out with stinging sarcasm. "Last time I saw her, she has quite a bit of a muffin-top around her waist."

Brandon was instantly alerted by his sister's comment as he slowly creaks his head around to look at Xiao Lan in the eyes.

"Did … did you just imply that my wife was fat?" Brandon asked with a blank face.

"And what if I did, little brother?" Xiao Lan asked back, in a more innocent manner.

"HOW DARE YOU?! MARY WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER LAID MY EYES UPON!" Brandon now goes on full-rampage mode, with figurative flames breathing out of every word he speaks. Maybe rage-induced figurative fire-breathing is also hereditary among the family. No one insults her wife like that, not even his sister. "ALSO, SHE WAS THE BEST WIFE A MAN LIKE ME CAN EVER ASK FOR! SHE HAD GONE THROUGH SWEAT, BLOOD, AND TEARS TO RAISE OUR KIDS AND SHE HASN'T COMPLAINED ONE BIT! SO, SHE … IS … NOT … FAT … ALRIGHT?!"

"Calm down, little brother, I was only joking." Xiao Lan dropped a sweat of nervousness as she tries to soothe her pissed-off brother.

"Geez, and people thought I was a bit chubby …" Marcus playfully stacked onto Xiao Lan's fat joke as he rubs his own belly.

"Mr. Kincaid …" Brandon refocuses his attention towards Marcus, with a killer glare more terrifying than that of a psycho's. The salesman's voice could easily indicate a sort of killer intent within him. Who knew a wimp such as Brandon could be so intimidating if given the right motivation. "… I am not even close to being done with you yet."

"Alright, alright, I get your point. Sheesh …" Marcus pleaded submissively, his open-palmed hands held up in front of him to indicate his act of surrender in this argument. "Tell you what. As an apology for what I did, I'll give you a major discount on all the guns you buy from me."

"How major are we talking about?" Xiao Lan asked with innocent cheer.

"50 percent off." Marcus boasted with a sparkling smile.

"Hmm …" Brandon adjusts his thick-framed glasses as he considers his economic decisions. "… make that 80."

"Oh, come on. You're killing me here. I might as well give you the guns for free." Marcus complained. "… how about … 55?"

"75." Brandon continued the bargain, his eyes brimmed with steadfast determination.

"60." Marcus pressed on.

"70! And the first gun is free. Take it or leave it." Brandon bargained as he crossed his arms in a confident manner, which suddenly ramps up his coolness by ten-fold.

"Seriously? I cannot make a deal like this." Marcus objected.

"Fine. Be that way." Brandon replied dismissively as he turns around and proceeds to walk out the shop. However, before he completely walks out, Brandon turn his head back to Marcus to say something more. "Oh, and good luck handling the fact that a world-famous corporate vault hunter from a corporation that is _notorious_ for making cheap sub-standard guns … is not buying guns from _your_ store." Brandon's confidence has risen to astronomical levels as he folds his arms and displays a self-reassuring smile. "That's right. A representative from Tediore is willing to risk it with his own crappy set of guns … instead of buying guns from _you_. Think how bad it will make you look by comparison." Brandon then slowly walks closer to Marcus, his aura of calucated fear amplifies with every step. "If word gets out about it … I wonder what that will do to your store's reputation."

Marcus gritted his teeth in desperation. He didn't know that Brandon suddenly got so good with negotiations within the short period of time since they have met from before. Is this really the same person whom he did business a couple of months back? Regardless, Marcus dread of the idea that his store's popularity would suddenly drop because of this incident. In the end, he has no choice but to accept the deal.

" *Sigh* You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Chen. Alright, it's a deal, then. 70 percent off and the first gun is free." Marcus accepted the deal reluctantly as he shakes Brandon's hand to confirm the exchange. "Come towards the back at the shooting range. Let me show you what I have."

With that, Brandon and Xiao Lan walk further into the store to come across Marcus's shooting range that is adjacent to the shop. In the meantime, Marcus brings out a crate holding a set of the best Tediore guns he could ever get his hands on in Pandora. There's probably around a dozen of these cleanly polished guns, all having at least a blue rarity or higher. Not too shabby, if Brandon could say so himself.

"Here it is. I brought this out from my finest collection. Take your pick." Marcus bragged as he shows Brandon his Tediore gun collection.

"Woah! This _is_ quite impressive." Brandon's eyes pretty much sparkled as he glances through the various types of high-quality Tediore guns. It's almost like he's a little boy inside a candy shop, in which all the candy is free. As Brandon glances at the collection, he slowly brushes his fingers on the surface of the guns to make sure what he's touching is real. "Let's see … Deliverance, Baby Maker, Gunerang … these are some high-quality special edition Tediore firearms! You buy these from retail, they'll probably cost more than an average car! How did you get your hands on one of these?!"

"Well, let's just say I've got … connections." Marcus answered hesitantly with shifty eyes as he scratches the back of his head. "It's best that you don't ask too many questions about it. Granted, the method of which I acquired them is perfectly legal, so it's not like I've got anything to hide."

"Yeah … I'm sure." Brandon replied with a suspicious stare at Marcus. Brandon sees Marcus as nothing more than a shady business dealer from a backwater planet, and this transaction has not made it any less true. Regardless, that is not Brandon's main concern right now. All Brandon should focus on is to find a gun that best suits his style of shooting, just so he could at least survive the vault hunt and be with his family again. As Brandon takes his time to analyze the arsenal, he finally picks up one of the Tediore SMGs. After picking it up and establishing the "feel" of the gun in his hand, Brandon took the SMG to the firing range and take aim. However, upon aiming at one of the paper targets down the range, he paused for a couple of seconds, seemingly unable to pull the trigger. Both Marcus and Xiao Lan thought this is strange for Brandon to suddenly have cold feet, even when it's just practice.

"What's wrong? You're too scared to shoot?" Marcus asked.

"Maybe it's one of his anxieties again. He is always nervous when performing under pressure, even when he was young." Xiao Lan suspected with care-free cheer before shifting to a more mocking tone. "It's a wonder how he is able to maintain performance for his wife. I feel kind of sorry for Mary."

"Will you shut up?! Your stingy comments are not helping." Brandon retorted back at his sister, who seems to have no problem teasing him whenever the opportunity arises. Brandon knows he has to keep his nervousness under control if he is ever going to survive this vault hunt. As he grabs hold on the reality of the situation, Brandon takes a deep breath and decides to try again. " *Deep exhale* … Okay, maybe this would help."

Brandon then puts down the gun and proceeds to face Xiao Lan and Marcus, who are watching from the far back. As Brandon stares at them, he sports a warm welcoming smile on his face, which suddenly creeps Xiao Lan out a little.

"Umm … little brother? What are you-?" Xiao Lan asked nervously before being interrupted.

"Is your life severely inadequate in terms of household protection?" Brandon suddenly blurted out, changing his previous tone of nervousness into a tone of confident salesman suave, similar to what you see in typical bullsh*t infomercials. The way he is presenting himself … is he trying to act out a sales-pitch? "Does your family need a safe and reliable self-defense firearm for an incredibly low price? Well, have I got a gun for YOU?!"

"What the hell …?" Marcus asked rhetorically, with a dumbfounded 'WTF?!' expression on his face.

"Introducing Tediore's brand of firearms!" Brandon continues his handsome salesman persona while holding onto the Tediore SMG like he is presenting it to an audience. "Safe, reliable, and easy to use! It's the perfect brand of firearms for the whole family! Just take a look at how effectively and efficiently it decimates this paper target!"

Immediately afterwards, Brandon uses the Tediore SMG to shoot at the paper target down range in controlled bursts with surprisingly good accuracy … without even looking at the targets himself. As Brandon is putting up a brave smile, all he has to rely on is his peripheral vision to see the targets. Even with that limitation, the groupings of the shots are remarkably tight. The heads and hearts of the paper targets was pretty much shot with bullseye perfection at up to 20 meters down range. Even Xiao Lan and Marcus were amazed at Brandon's actual shooting skills.

"And that's not all!" Brandon continued. "With Tediore's special-patented insta-digistruct reloading system, you don't need to reload! All you need to do is THROW!" With that statement, Brandon skillfully reload-throws that Tediore SMG into the target, blowing it up into smithereens. "This unique reloading system gives Tediore's guns the fastest reloading speed out of all manufacturers, making the hassle of reloading your weapons through clumsy box magazines a thing of the past! So what are you waiting for?! Order yourself a Tediore firearm today!" With that Brandon ends his infomercial-like performance with a wink, a shiny smile, and a thumbs-up.

Both Xiao Lan and Marcus were awestruck when they saw how Brandon presented himself like that. They know he works for Tediore on sales, but … this … this is something else.

"Wow …" Xiao Lan uttered in wide-eyed amazement.

"Gotta hand it to your brother." Marcus whispered to Xiao Lan. "His sales pitch could give mine a run for the money."

"Ehehehe … Well, to be fair, I've only been working on that pitch for a couple of weeks or so." Brandon noted with slight embarrassment, returning to his usual nervous self. "Of course, I wouldn't have the resolve to practice if it weren't for the encouragement of my wife." Brandon then shows off a slight blush and lightly scratches his cheek with his index finger as he said the next phrase. "Mary can be quite an angel sometimes. She's always there for me, being the source of my motivation when things seem desperate. That's why I fell in love with her."

"Well, I've got to hand it to you, little brother. I didn't think you could accomplish anything successful in your life." Xiao Lan praised amazingly as she step towards the firing range to carefully look at the decimated paper target. Even though it's a compliment, the fact that Xiao Lan never expected any sort of success out of her own brother mildly ticks Brandon off. "How did you become so good with shooting guns, anyway? I thought you wouldn't even touch anything that would so much as emit a puppy's bark, much less a gun-shot."

"Well, as a Tediore sales representative, it's pretty much mandatory for us to be exceptionally skilled at using the products that we'll eventually sell to our customers, obviously." Brandon explained. "You gotta 'wow' them by showing off your skills using these weapons in order to draw more buyers. That's like Sales 101. You wouldn't believe the rigorous training we had to do to reach this level of marksmanship. We practically have to shoot a ping-pong ball from across the street before we are qualified to be sales rep."

"That still wouldn't explain how you became such an unbearable coward when fighting against regular soldiers and bandits in real life." Xiao Lan reconsidered.

"Well, you see … shooting in front of a friendly audience is once thing." Brandon replied with dimming confidence. "Shooting people in a real life-and-death scenario … with real blood and gore … that's another thing entirely."

"Aaahhh, I see." Xiao Lan realized with mocking cheer as she wraps an arm over Brandon's shoulder. "In the end, you're still just the same sacredly-cat brother I know. *Giggles*." This comment made Brandon's self-esteem dip even lower, knowing that his shooting skills could never be applied in real-life because of his tendency for flight in a fight-or-flight response.

"Look, this is quite impressive and all, but you still got to pick a gun." Marcus pressured Brandon.

"Alright, alright. Just give me a couple more rounds of practice before I made up my mind." Brandon replied with mild annoyance. "The selection of a self-defense firearm is an important one. It cannot be rushed."

"Fine, whatever." Marcus shrugged and allowed Brandon to take his time in the gun-selection process. "… you know the bullets you use in the range aren't free, right? You still gotta pay for those."

"Aww, C'MON!" Brandon exclaimed while being incredibly pissed.

* * *

While the Pandoran morning sun continues to brightly radiate heat on Sanctuary, the Hyperion corporate vault hunter is impatiently waiting near the entrance of the Blue Moby airship while her 'companions' are out exploring the rest of Sanctuary for a while. Time is of the essence in terms of bringing down the Atlas corporation and retrieving the vault key, which means that every minute counts. However, it doesn't seem to come across any of the other corporate vault hunters' minds to be so urgent that they have to sacrifice time catching up with their old friends and maybe have a cup of breakfast tea or something. Efficiency is the key to success in every mission Selena partakes during her time in the Hyperion task force … and efficiency is exactly what's lacking in this disorganized and undisciplined group at the moment. While Selena is leaning against the wall of a building and casually toying with her bright-orange holographic wrist-computer to pass the time, there is someone quietly gazing at the Hyperion specialist from a far but observable distance. That someone … is Krieg.

Selena was long aware of the bandit's presence from her proximity, but she just doesn't care enough to pay much attention to him or tell him to go away. As Selena continues to ignore Krieg's passive stalking, Krieg couldn't help but continue his relatively harmless act as he stands statue-still while alluringly stares at the Hyperion female blonde even longer. Krieg couldn't quite explain it, but there is just something about Selena that's been bugging him lately. Maybe she was someone he knew from a long time ago. Maybe she just looks like someone he knew. Maybe he's just crazy. It's most likely just crazy, Krieg thought.

"Hey, Krieg. There you are." A female voice spoke up from behind Krieg. It was Maya. As Maya is approaching Krieg with a warm welcome, the large psycho only reacted by turning his head for a brief gaze towards the siren before returning to his long gawk towards the Hyperion specialist. Maya is bewildered by Krieg's behavior. She never saw Krieg becoming so interested in another person before. Whatever is going on between Krieg and Selena, if there is even anything going on at all, Krieg wouldn't say it. Or perhaps he couldn't because of how shattered his mind has become. Maya still wanted what's best for Krieg though, and decides to at least try to ask Krieg about the whole issue while placing a tender hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong, Krieg? Is she someone you knew? Someone from your past memories?"

Krieg remained silent. There is just no way for him to formulate his thoughts coherently to recall crucial memories. It's frustrating sometimes how something as simple as long-term memory can be so difficult to Krieg. He could only let out a hopeless grunt before lowering his head in disappointment.

"It's alright, Krieg." Maya comforted Krieg tamely. "You don't have answer right away if you couldn't. Take your time."

Krieg's heart found ease whenever he listens to Maya's voice. It's like she is the light guiding Krieg's soul out of the chaotic darkness. Krieg feels like he own Maya everything. If it weren't for her, Krieg might still be the same psychotic murdering maniac holed up in God-knows-where on this wretched planet of Pandora. Of course, there are the other vault hunters who have emotionally supported him, such as Axton, Salvador, Zer0, and Gaige, but Maya was the beginning of it all. It's like it was fate that dragged Krieg to that train station where she met Maya for the first time.

"PRETTY LADY AND BLOOD BEAST, A MEAT BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO!" Krieg blurted out with seemingly recovered joy. "BLOOD BEAST NEEDS BLOOD AS FUEL FOR FLAMES TO SCORCH THE FUSE!"

"Hmm, sounds like you're hungry." Maya easily deducted. "Head over to the bar to get something to eat. I'll catch up with you later."

"BLOOD RUNS THROUGH MY VEINS LIKE CHOLESTEROL!" Krieg shouted in his usual raving tone as he heads to the bar like Maya had suggested.

When Krieg was finally gone, Maya stayed to look at the brooding Hyperion female in the white-and-yellow jumpsuit. There is something going here that Krieg doesn't know yet and Selena doesn't let on. Maya's curiosity is growing by the minute and she is desperate for answers. However, it's not like Selena is going to talk cooperatively even if Maya asks politely. In fact, judging by the way Selena persistently maintains her scary sour-face at pretty much everything, she is more likely to slice someone open than to have a peaceful conversation. However, Maya is willing to risk that possibility.

"Hey, you there." Maya spoke to Selena as she approaches her. Selena only responded by giving her an angry look like she usually does to pretty much everyone she meets. Those fierce-looking eyes could easily make any other bestial predator froze in fright. It's like some kind of nonverbal signal … a mental deterrent … to warn anyone who approaches her to not screw with her or she will screw with them a hundred times over. Even someone like Maya could feel a slight heaviness on her shoulders just by looking into those fearsome blue eyes. Regardless, Maya is determined to press on the conversation, albeit with a bit more polite approach. "I believe we have gotten off on the wrong foot. Sorry if I phaselocked you from back then. It was a force-of-habit when I feel like one of my friends was being threatened and … uh … you know … things … just sorta happened."

Real smooth, Maya. Real smooth.

Selena didn't even bat an eyelash when Maya made a pathetic attempt to start a conversation with her. The Hyperion female just remained quiet, refusing to socially interact with any of the vault hunters as much as possible. If it's not within the necessity of the mission, Selena couldn't give less of a f*ck.

"Hey, look, if this is about Krieg suddenly approaching you without warning … I'm sorry, alright?" Maya continued apologetically, trying to get on Selena's good side. "Krieg can be a little … uh, what's the word for it? … he can be a little bit unstable sometimes, but he's not a bad person. If there were any misunderstandings between us, allow me to clear it all up right here, right now, okay?"

Selena continues to remain hushed as she toys around with her wrist computer further, acting like Maya is not even there.

"You're not saying anything." Maya spoke faintly with a mixture of curiosity and frustration. "Does that mean you're okay with it?"

Selena still remained speechless, preferring to give her wrist computer more attention than she gives to Maya.

" *Deep sigh* I just don't get you people from Hyperion sometimes." Maya rolled her eyes, exhausted with options. "Listen, I know you know something about Krieg, and you're not telling me. Please. I need to know."

"I do not know anything. Leave me alone." Selena warned in a bored tone, finally breaking her silence.

" *Deep exhale* Alright, you finally talked. Well, that's a start." Maya reassured herself with mild relief. "Well, you may say that you don't know anything, but is that really true? Come on, Krieg is a subject from one of those horrible Eridium experiments. There's gotta be _some_ mention of him in one of those records within Hyperion's database. Something about his past. Whether he has family, or friends, or associates. Something like that?"

"Why should I care?" Selena asked semi-rhetorically with morbid cynicism. "And more importantly … why should you?"

This has struck Maya by surprise. She didn't really think Selena would ask a question like that … about why Maya would be so concerned about Krieg. The truth was … Maya doesn't know the answer to that either. Perhaps it was all those times Krieg literally blocked bullets for Maya. Perhaps it was merely sympathy, of how there might still be some shred of humanity within Krieg that is being constricted with all that psychotic rage. But one thing is for sure, Maya wants to help Krieg in any way possible, and she won't be afraid to reach her hand into a skag's throat to get it.

"Because Krieg is my friend." Maya declared bravely. "Perhaps the first friend I have ever met in my entire life, even before I left Athenas. For most of my life, I was surrounded by people who are either afraid of me, want to kill me, or exploit me. Krieg was one of the first people who did none of that. Of course, I met up with a bunch of other vault hunters who actually treated me like a friend instead of a demi-god, but Krieg still holds a special place in my heart. He has done so much for me. It's about time that I do something for him, and uncovering more about his past so that he could finally get some closure is as good of a place as any."

Despite of the rarity of the occurrence, Selena was emotionally moved, even if it was by a little bit. Selena would never have guessed that the relationship between Krieg and Maya would be so intimate. Regardless, Selena remains firm to her no-talk policy. Or rather, it may be for Krieg's sake that Selena does not leak out that info. Who knows how Krieg might emotionally handle the information about his past? Is it even safe to let him know at the moment? In any case, whether it's to protect Krieg or to protect her mission, Selena persists on her refusal to leak out any useful information.

"That is quite a speech you just gave. Did you get that out of a fortune cookie?" Selena commented with cold-hearted sarcasm, which made Maya slightly infuriated from within. Selena then returns to a tone of rigid seriousness. "Listen here, siren. I know nothing about your violently psychotic friend. And even if I do know something, I won't tell you. Because the truth is … we are not friends. We are only associates, bonded by a temporary alliance for the sake of a common goal … the vault. Anything that diverges even _slightly_ from that goal is considered irrelevant. So do both of us a favor and stop wasting your breath trying to pry answers out of me. From this point on, if you ever try to exchange words with me that isn't related to either the vault or taking down Atlas … I won't guarantee your safety."

With that, Selena effectively ended the conversation. It's not like Maya could say anything more. Selena made it crystal clear that Maya won't get any clues from her. The blonde specialist is as stubborn as she is deadly. With that being said, Maya decides to leave Selena alone and slowly stroll towards the bar in relative silence. But as Maya turns around, she is surprised to see Lilith, staring back at her from a moderate distance. Given how Lilith looks at Maya, it's clear that Lilith has overheard the conversation.

"Oh … hey, Lil." Maya greeted Lilith with low spirit. "You heard all of that?"

"I've heard enough." Lilith responded with mild stiffness in her voice before returning to a more lighthearted tone. "C'mon. Let's get something to eat at the bar."

"Wait … you're not mad?" Maya asked with mild concern as both of them are casually walking towards their destination.

"Why would I be?" Lilith shrugged with disregard. "I might hate Hyperion to the core, but that doesn't mean I should stop you from playing nice with them in order to find out more about your boyfriend's past."

"How many times do I have to say it?!" Maya clarified out loud with a sudden burst of embarrassment, her face turning as red as a cherry in an instant. "Krieg is not my BOYFRIEND! We're just friends, okay?! There's nothing between me and Krieg!"

"Suuuuure, Maya. Keep telling yourself that.~" Lilith replied playfully with a mischievous wink and smile, which prompted Maya to smack her forehead in embarrassment.

" *Sigh* … Anyway, what is your take on Selena?" Maya asked seriously. "Do you think she's telling the truth?"

"I think she's a stalker on cloak, turning rabid at any moment." Lilith phrased metaphorically with a mean look. "If I remembered correctly, Blake claimed that she was tortured by Handsome Jack into becoming an obsessive Jack-lover. I don't believe it."

"You saying he's lying?" Maya suspected.

"I'm saying that things don't add up." Lilith explained her suspicions. "If what Blake said is true and that the b*tch over there is crazy, why would he want her on the Corporate Vault Hunt? No one would rely on a crazy person to do important stuff for them, no matter how skilled they are. Plus, from the looks of it, I highly doubt that she is crazy at all."

"What makes you say that?" Maya asked.

"I don't know. It's just the little things." Lilith answered. "The way she talks. The way she moves. The way she stares at people. She looks way too coordinated to be considered insane, and I've seen my fair share of insane people."

"You think that this might all be just an act?" Maya considered. "That she was only pretending to have an unhealthy obsession with Jack? What would be the purpose of that?"

"Who knows?" Lilith shrugged. "Anyway, it's probably best that we keep a close eye on her, make sure she doesn't try anything funny while we work together to open the vault."

"Got it." Maya agreed with determination.

* * *

"Tell me where she is or I will tear your anus out and make you eat it!" Moxxi screamed at the top of her lungs as she continues to tightly grip onto Oleg's collar, causing a widespread commotion from the surrounding area.

By the time Lilith and Maya arrived inside the bar through the front entrance, there was already a large group of familiar people gathering around Moxxi and Oleg's location. Mordecai was already inside the bar when it happened, so obviously he cannot ignore whatever is happening. Krieg just arrived at the bar a bit earlier and was therefore just as clueless regarding the current situation. Scooter and Ellie are desperately trying to calm their mother down as well as figuring out what the heck is going on. Axton and Eugene were accompanying the pair of mechanics by chance, since they all came from Scooter's garage and were looking to get something to eat after their maintenance work on their mechanical companions. Zer0 and Kazuki were also at the scene, hopefully trying to help with the situation without making it worse. Naturally, this sudden commotion has caused Lilith and Maya to be both curious and concerned, prompting them to approach and investigate.

"Please, Moxxi. Just relax." Mordecai attempts to diffuse the situation. "It's not often that you acted that way. Tell us what's going on."

"Hey, Moxxi! Calm your engines! Please!" Ellie shouted at Moxxi as she tries to pull her away from the mildly appalled Oleg. Ellie was afraid that if she doesn't try to break them apart, the seductive bartender might actually shred the large Vladof mercenary into pieces.

"Yeah, mama! Why not chill and tell us what's happenin'?" Scooter added, attempting to support Ellie in deterring their mother away from the drunken giant.

"Hey!" Lilith shouted as she and Maya arrived at the scene. "Is someone going to fill me in here? I'm not sure Moxxi's usually this hot-tempered."

"THE CLOWN QUEEN TRIES TO STRIP THE FLESH OF THE KOALA!" Krieg explains in his typical cryptic speech. "BONES WILL BREAK AND OIL BLOOD WILL SET ON FIRE!"

"I'm just as clueless as you are." Axton replied. "I don't know what has gotten into her. But it looks like it has something to do with that Vladof guy."

"Intriguing indeed/ Moxxi has a beef with him/ Clarity needed." Zer0 added.

"Maybe Oleg drank all her liquor and didn't pay up. You should have seen how much that big guy can drink." Eugene jokingly hypothesized. "Or maybe Oleg is staring at those pair of coconuts for too long and expects it to be a free sightseeing tour, when in fact … it isn't."

"Eugene-san! Now is not the time to fool around!" Kazuki criticized. "A rioting situation needs to be resolved or someone might get hurt."

"Let go of me!" Moxxi shakes off from her children's grasp before finally letting go of Oleg's collar. After a few seconds of silent pause, she slowly kneels down on the floor, tears drenching down her cheeks. This has taken many of the bystanders by surprise, especially Scooter and Ellie. For most of their lives, they do not think of their mother as someone who cries her problems away. To them, she is always the type of mother who is powerfully confident as well as drop-dead gorgeous. To see Moxxi cry like that … it's rarer than getting a pearlescent. " *Sob* … this man … she might know where your sister is! … *Cries* …"

This statement has sent shockwaves to everyone who is listening, especially to the two mechanic siblings standing right beside their mother. Their faces became ghostly pale, their jaws were essentially left hanging loose, and their eyes broadened in unanticipated shock. It's been a long time since Moxxi has even mentioned her. Perhaps too long. Perhaps it's because it brought back too many painful memories.

"What … did you just say?" Ellie growled grimly. You can tell from the facial expression of the rotund mechanic that she is just a shove away from full-on rampaging wrath.

"Sister?! You mean our old sis' Adelynn? The original 'Scooter'?" Scooter spoke wealky with ample astonishment, not believing the words coming out of his own mouth. "But … I thought she was dead."

Within an instant, it was now Ellie's turn to grab hold on Oleg's collar for interrogation's sake. Meanwhile, Moxxi could hardly hold back her guzzling tears as she shamefully covers her face with both of her hands. The tears mixes quite well with the make-up she is currently wearing, creating a uncanny layer of ruined cosmetics smeared all over the bartender's otherwise lovable complexion.

"Now listen here, you merc!" Ellie threatened Oleg with a heated frown. "You tell me where she is right now or I'LL SHOVE YOU INTO A CAR COMPACTOR AND FLATTEN YOU LIKE A PANCAKE!"

"Woah woah, easy there, El." Eugene nudges himself between the hefty mechanic and the gargantuan alcoholic. "No need to be violent. Perhaps we can clear out any misunderstandings if we can just calmly sit down and talk this all out."

"Calm?! You want me to be CALM?!" Ellie flared out with her blood boiling. "Let me tell you a story, Commando! A long time ago, there used to be four of us! Four children standing beside Moxxi to endure the hardships with her while she was being nothin' more than a horribly mistreated baby-maker for the Hodunk Clan! That b*tch Adelynn was the eldest child of us all! And when Moxxi was too busy playing nice to the Hodunk pigs just so we won't get kicked out of the clan and fed to the skags, Adelynn was next in line to babysit us when we were still children! Then, one day, she had enough! She wanted to leave Pandora to explore all the wonders of the galaxies out there! Worst of all, she wants to do it WITHOUT US! She tried to ABANDON US! Our own sister thinks we were too much of a baggage for her, so she thought 'WHY EVEN BOTHER?!' Too bad before she could get off the planet, she got into a nasty car accident and blew up in our faces! Moxxi and the others thought she was dead, but I KNEW, I F*CKIN' KNEW she was alive! She was too clever to die like that! Also, if she was really dead, WE WOULD HAVE FOUND HER CORPSE BY NOW!"

Moxxi could only uncontrollably weep with more intensity as Ellie explains her entire family backstory to the vault hunters. Meanwhile, Scooter was kneeling besides Moxxi, trying to pat on her back to comfort her while holding back his own tears. There is literally nothing the vault hunters could say that can follow up with Ellie's intense words of bitterness. Hunting skags and killing bandits seems easy compared to dealing with the drama of this convoluted family dynamic. However, after a moment of awkward silence, someone has to break the tension … and it might as well be Oleg.

" *Sigh* …" Oleg slowly got up from his seat and tread towards the kneeled-down Moxxi in order to speak to her face-to-face in a soft tone. "Can we talk … in private? I'll tell you everything I know … about her."

" *Sniff* … alright … *Sniff* … Sorry if I scolded you earlier, I was just-" Moxxi is finally calming down her sobbing as she got up from the floor with Scooter's help.

"It's alright." Oleg replied tenderly, accepting Moxxi's apology. Oleg's eyes where then shifted towards the two siblings. "You two should come as well, since you're part of the family."

"Uh … alright." Scooter timidly agreed.

"Hmph! You better have something to say that I like to hear." Ellie added with residual anger.

* * *

With that, Oleg, Moxxi, Scooter, and Ellie exited the bar in order to get some fresh air and peacefully talk it all out. Oleg would presumably explain to the family how he came to know this mysterious 'Adelynn' and hopefully give Moxxi's family some peace of mind. With that group moving away from the bar, the atmosphere gradually returned to a more temperate volume as the patrons inside resume to their regular activities.

"Man … that was something else." Eugene spoke with mild awe as he and the rest of the vault hunters gather together to sit by the bar table, each occupying a bar stool.

"Tell me about it." Axton followed up, relieved that the earlier argument did not escalate to full-on violence. "I didn't know Moxxi had a long-lost daughter with such a complex story behind it."

"Neither did we." Mordecai supplemented, referring to the original vault hunters who have known Moxxi for the longest among the group and yet remain uninformed of this incident. "Even when I was dating her, I never heard her mentioning of a daughter other than Ellie. Judging from what I've heard from Ellie herself just now, I could understand why."

"Moxxi's got some tragic memories from under her masquerade and she doesn't want to dig up old wounds." Lilith interpreted. "Understandable. Though you have to wonder just how many layers Moxxi actually keeps hidden from us."

"Excuse me for being impolite, but we should not dwell on this topic any longer." Kazuki pleaded in a soft but refined voice. "It is intrusive for us to gossip on other people's past miseries."

"The past haunts us all/ Even shroud by denial/ It will still exist." Zer0 spoke wisely.

"Sounds like you have a troubled past of your own, Zer0. Care to share it with us?" Maya asked Zer0 teasingly with a raised eyebrow. Zer0 only replied with mute words and a red holographic emoticon of a disgruntled frown on his helmet, leaving Maya with a small but prideful smile in response of being able to get under the ninja assassin's skin.

"Man, forget about all that sh*t … I just want to know how old Moxxi actually is." Eugene raised a topic with sly curiosity.

"Woah, there! Slow down, Eugene. You do NOT want to hit that." Axton warned with moderate severity.

"Hey! Who said anything about hitting on her? I was just curious, that's all." Eugene pleaded innocence. "I mean, if even Scooter is not her oldest offspring, then she must have been packing in more years than I expected. I'm pretty sure this question had come across all yo' minds at some point. But that don't mean I'm trying to tap that ass, though … even if it IS a nice-lookin' ass.~"

"Dude, whenever I hear you say something like that, it always means the opposite of what you said! Always!" Axton stated with intense suspicion towards his long-time war-buddy.

"Well, it wouldn't surprise me that you would succeed if you do give it a go at her." Mordecai uttered cynically. "She already had a couple of ex-husbands as well as God-knows how many side-partners on top of that. 'The hottest damsel without distress on Pandora' might not mean much to the rest of the universe, but it's still an impressive title to be had within the local Pandora community."

"Number of sex-partners notwithstanding, age is scared to a woman." Lilith added to the conversation. "You cannot just ask her casually about it and expect a straight answer."

"Of course I can. I ask plenty of women about their age all the time and pretty much always gets a straight answer." Eugene boasted as he takes out his comb to fix his hair in a poised manner. "As a demonstration … hey, blue-haired Siren, how old are you?"

"27." Maya answered flatly.

"A'ight, How 'bout you, Princess of the Maliwan kingdom?" Eugene asked with humorous charm.

"24." Kazuki answered swiftly and politely, without no attempt to withhold anything.

"See, it's that easy. Seems like a woman's age is less sacred than you think." Eugene argued with finesse before slightly lowering his glasses to wink at Lilith. "By the way, red-head … what is _your_ age?"

"Ugh …" Lilith replied with a tired dry heave before rolling her eyes dismissively in response to Eugene's nonsensical conduct. After a while, Lilith starts to catch a whiff something in the air. Something … aromatic and savory. " *Sniff* … hey guys, something smells good in here. Who's cookin'?"

"Oh, that must have been Jakobs." Mordecai explained. "He asked Moxxi a while ago to borrow the kitchen to whip up some breakfast for us."

While all of the vault hunters were comfortably sitting side-by-side next to the bar table, Monty emerged from the door behind the bar, pushing out a small cart containing what appears to be multiple large rectangular metal trays stacked in racks. Each tray has six regular-sized circular plates containing what appears to be some sort of Western-style breakfast. Judging from the looks of this rather delicately-crafted dish, you would typically see food like this cooked in 5-star restaurants, not in some backwater bar on Pandora.

"Howdy, fellas." Monty greeted everyone in a cordial manner as he carefully transfers the trays onto the counter. "Sorry I took so long, but creatin' the perfect flavor requires quite a bit of focus and patience. Kinda like sniping, actually. *Chuckles* Know what I'm sayin'." Monty then scans across the room, as if trying to look for something. "Where's Miss Moxxi? I've heard quite a bit of commotion a while ago. Thought there was gonna be trouble or somethin'."

"It's … nothing, really. Don't worry about it." Mordecai reassured with slight doubt. "We'll tell you about it some other time."

"Oh well. I guess we'll save that conversation for later, then." Monty shrugged passively as he hands out the breakfast dishes to everyone. "In the meantime, I let you have a taste straight from one of my ol' family recipies, back when my mama used to make it-"

"ROCKKKKKET … DYNAMOOOOO … TAKKKKKKEOFF!" A voice of pre-adolescent explosiveness is heard from near the entrance from the far-back of the bar. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a blindingly fast blur zips across the bar before energetically crashing into the wooden bar furniture itself. The crash was so ground-shakenly powerful that it pretty much left a cracked dent on the side of the bar counter, causing wooden debris and dust to fly everywhere. Despite of that, the reckless committer of this bold and reckless act remains relatively unharmed, probably due to the fact that the impact was cushioned by his thick layer of facial muscles combined with an abnormally large ego. (Warning: For those of you out there with an abnormally large ego, do not try this at home. I'm looking at you, Donald Trump. Though, it would be funny to see your face slam into a wall … that you have probably demanded Mexicans to build for you.) Guess who this blind-eye turner of collateral damage is. Go on, guess. "EXXXTREME LANDING SUCCESS! TO THE EXTREME!" Yep … I probably don't even need to say his name out loud, as this hyper-energetic teen has already picked up one of the plates of breakfast just so he could carefully observe it contents with fine appreciation (as well as salivating all over it) " *Sniff* *Sniff* … Awesome! Breakfast is HERE! My EXTREMELY sensitive nose hasn't failed me yet! I could smell this kind of food from a mile away, which, in my humbly moderated opinion of humbleness … is TOTALLY EXTREME!"

" *Sigh* For the love of God, K.C., can you not break everything you see when you make an entrance?" Lilith complained as she sees K.C. proudly making flexing poses while holding onto that dish. It's almost like he is a male fitness model and the plate is the central object of attention. (Why would you need male fitness models to advertise breakfast? … I have no idea …)

"Not break everything I see when I make an entrance?!" K.C. puts down the plate on the table before continue on his loud rant like he usually does, almost acting like everyone in the room has impaired hearing or something. "Badass siren lady, you should be thankful that I didn't EXPLODE everything I see, because it would be totally cool to have superpowers in which you can make things EXPLODE by just staring at them for long enough! Explo-vision! It's like Heat-vision, but with EXPLOSIONS! That would be totally EXTREME! … and would also be a very cool idea for a superhero movie so DIBS ON THE TRADEMARK! Don't get any ideas, Marvel … or DC … or maybe Pixar, I don't know … Anyway, for the universe did not begin with a whimper, but with a BANG! And with a BANG, I shall start my day by committing to my EXTREME daily routine of naked sun-bathing, daily exercise, and eating a healthy breakfas-"

"BUNNYYYYY … CARTWHEEEEEL … HOPPPPP!" Another speedy figure has entered the bar in an overly exaggerated and acrobatic fashion, as this figure cartwheels so fast across the bar, no human eye could detect its motion. The figure seems to be a bit skinnier than K.C. but maintains the same height and same level of childish mischief. As she swiftly cartwheels towards the group of vault hunters, she jumps high up like a majestic soaring bird before crash-landing onto K.C., causing both to become mangled while lying down on the floor. Guess who?

"Oomph … Tina! You're on top of me!" K.C. exclaimed as he is pretty much squashed by the maniac 13-year old girl who is pressing her badonkadonk on his *boom chika wow wo-[censored]*.

"Oops! Sorry, K.C." Tina apologized merrily as she lends a hand to help K.C. up from the floor. "Next time … _you_ can be on top of _me_, if you know what I'm sayin'? *Snort* *Giggles*." This statement made K.C. suddenly shy as f*ck and turned his face as red as a chili pepper.

"Boy oh Boy! Do I smell something good!" Another manly voice has entered the scene as well, originated from none other than Brick. The tall muscular King of Slabs had just entered the bar, accompanied by Salvador and Gaige.

"Estoy de acuerdo! (I agree!) I'm so hungry, I could eat an entire rakk-hive!" Salvador expressed enthusiastically as his stomach is virtually growling like a lion.

"Ewww, gross. No one in their right minds would eat something that looks like the gateway of which their very existence comes from." Gaige vividly described. (By that, she means rakk-hives' mouths look like big-ass v G!na$, obviously …) "Then again, fixing Deathtrap for an entire morning does work up a sweat. Now all I need is something to replenish my calories."

"Duly noted." Brick followed up the comment with his own gruff mannerisms. "Next time we encounter a rakk-hive, we'll just punch it so hard, it turns into meat pulp, and then let the other animals eat the meat, and then we eat the animals! The Circle of Life!" Just as the trio is approaching the bar, they are greeted by the other vault hunters who are already hanging out by the bar counter.

"Hey, guys. Took you long enough. You wouldn't _believe_ what just happened with Moxxi just a while ago." Lilith filled-in the incoming group who just missed out on the commotion.

"What do you mean? What just happened with Moxxi?" Gaige asked with peppy intrigue. " *Gasp* … is she pregnant?! Who's the father?! How many months is the baby?! You gotta tell me all the juicy gossip!"

"Um … what? No … no, heck NO! Of course not. Jesus chr- … where in the world did you get that idea?" Lilith elucidated the nosy and rather disappointed Gaige. "Anyway, I'll tell you guys about it later. First, we gotta eat."

"Agreed!" Brick concurred with Lilith before focusing his attention to Monty, who he assumes was the one who cooked all this food since he can sort of infer that Monty has a real knack for cooking. "So slab! What's cookin'?"

"Well, why don't you try it for yourself?" Monty explained as he hands Brick a plate. The other vault hunters who already have their plates are now focusing their gaze upon their own respective share of food.

On the plate, you can clearly see that even though the breakfast was in the form of a typical Wester-style recipe, the food has some outer-worldly traits to it. Upon a closer insecption, it seems to comprise of one abnormally large poached egg (at least twice as large than your typical chicken egg, with the yolk showing hints of neon-green instead of your usual yellow), a couple strips of thick-cut bacon (with a hue of grey layered on top of the usual bacon-red), a piece of toast (just regular old toast, nothing special … sorry), and a side of hash-browns (made with shredded potatoes … that appears to be purple).

"Hmm … looks interesting … let's dig in." Lilith commented with a hint of hesitation that can be shared with some of the other potential eaters. They have eaten snacks made from Monty before, but do they trust him enough on this particular dish? After a brief moment of consideration, most of the vault hunters who possesses a dish of Monty's meal decides to finally give it a try and courageously fork down a bite of the breakfast, only to find out that … it taste surprisingly good. "Mmm … this tastes surprisingly good, actually."

The other vault hunters couldn't agree more as they are allured to continue devouring the food with increasing passion. Each bite they took washes away their hunger and their doubts further and further. Despite the initially off-putting appearance, the food has an extraordinary blend of taste and texture. The eggs are poached just well enough for the yolk to reveal its semi-liquid center oozing out when you puncture it. The thick-cut bacon has a smoky savory flavor that is harmoniously enhanced with the oiliness of the fat, making it mouth-wateringly good. The purple hash-browns has just the right levels of crunchiness, saltiness, and nuttiness to be considered a food for the heavens. And the toast … the TOAST! … the MOTHERF*CKIN' TOAST! (The author has briefly fainted while foaming in his mouth ... because describing this food is just too intense for him.) … Everyone who is ferociously chomping down on Monty's specialty breakfast couldn't help but praise the wild-Westerner with a storm of positive comments as they eat.

"Mmm, thish ish DELICHIOUS! I'vhe nevher tashted foohd thish goohd in myh entirhe lifhe!" Brick strongly approved with his mouth full, causing his speech to slur a little bit.

"OH MAYH GAWD! Thish ish betther than CRUHUMPHETS!" Tina added to the wave of compliments, also with her mouth full of food, as she is on the verge to shedding tears of mother-humping joy. "Heyh K.C., herhe's ah phiece of bachon!" Tina knew her puppy-love boyfriend loves eating meat more than anything else, so she was considerate enough to share a portion of her bacon to K.C.

"Mmm, thankhs Tinha!" K.C. thanked happily with his mouth also stuffed with food. He uses his teeth to grab the strips of fatty bacon from Tina before sharing back some of his own food in return, sorta like a cute-loving couple. "Herhe, Tinha! I'll givhe you mah toast!" K.C. grabbed the toast on his plate and carefully handed it to Tina. Bite by bite, Tina devoured most of the toast while it's still being held by K.C., with her saliva messily slobbering all over K.C.'s hand.

"NOM NOM NOM *Munch* … THIS SCRUMPSCOUS MEAT PUPPET MAKES ME CONDUCT POOP TRAIN TO FLAY BOBS AND GUY FERRIES! … NOM NOM … *choke cough* …" Krieg shouted in delight as he munches on the breakfast while only partially lifting up his mask to allow him to eat the food. At one point, he almost choked on the food because he was eating too fast.

"Slow down, Krieg. There's no need to rush. Eat it slowly, alright, big guy?" Maya advised Krieg with genuine concern as she pauses eating in order to pat Krieg on the back to ease his choking. Lilith shot Maya a teasing smiley face, indicating what both sirens already know is implied, of which Maya only responded with a dismissive eye-roll.

"Mm-mmm, *burps* Estaba delicioso! (It was delicious!)." Salvador praised highly, already finished with his own plate in a matter of seconds. The speed of his eating is proportional to how much he enjoys the food, so you can obviously tell he enjoys the food very much. "Gotta say, I do not know many people who can cook better than my abuela, but I'm certain that you are one of them! Seconds, please!"

" *Chuckles* Well, sure thing, Truxican partner. Here you go." Monty appreciated the praise in kind as he handed Salvador another plate.

However as soon as Salvador got his hands on it, the second plate of breakfast was immediately snatched by someone else without warning. Someone who proceed to amazingly empty all of the contents of the plate into her mouth and consumed it in one fell swoop. That intercepting thief of Salvador's extra share of breakfast is none other than Mama Jaws, who came by the bar just a while ago and is tempted to bully the dual gun-wielding dwarf while also grabbing something to eat. Two rakks with one shotgun blast, as they say on Pandora. The way Mama Jaws eat that breakfast is savagely inhuman, as she chews up food similar how buzzsaws shred sheet-metal. It was unrefined and messy. And it really pisses Salvador off.

"Hey! That was my plate, you puta!" Salvador complained vocally.

"You're way too freakin' slow, even for a skaglicker." Mama Jaws countered with attitude. "Besides, others need to eat, y' know. Midge midge! Grab the plates!" The moment she gave the command, her three iconic midgets pop up out of nowhere and began stealing the additional plates of breakfast from the counter, each carrying one plate that they balance over their heads. Once they have what they need, they make a run for it like it's nobody's business.

"Hey! No fair! They took all the plates!" Salvador yelled.

"Hehehe! So long, orange skag-turd." Mama Jaws waved Salvador good-bye as she sticks out her tongue at him as an insult. Immediately afterwards, Mama Jaws bolted out of the bar, following her midget minions. "Smell ya later!"

"Wait! Come back with my food! Hey!" Salvador shouted as he ran after her, thereby exiting the bar.

As Salvador and Mama Jaws are having their little conflict, the other vault hunters didn't really care and just continued eating, figuring that the gunzerker and the mother of bandits will always be fighting no matter what.

"Gotta say, that's some fine cooking skills you got there." Lilith noted, being one of the few eaters who is decent enough to not speak with her mouth full. "Surprised Mordecai is still as thin as he is when he met you."

"That's the thing." Mordecai replys to Lilith's comment with a hint of dread. "It's because Monty's cooking is so good that all other food taste like crap by comparison. Take Lilith's cooking for example."

Brick nearly spat out his food when Mordecai mention that. While trying not to choke on the food cramped in his mouth, the Slab King couldn't resist the urge to laugh out loud on that comment. It was not a well-known thing among the rest of the Crimson Raiders, but back in the vault hunting days of the old gang five years ago, the vault hunters used to take turns preparing meals for the whole group as they traveled together. One day, when it was Lilith's turn to do the cooking, they couldn't find anything to light a fire, so Lilith decided to use her phase powers to burn the skag meat in order to cook it. The results were … less than desirable. After that, Lilith lost all her privileges to cook for the team. It was perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments for Lilith during her time on Pandora.

"Mordecai!" Lilith exclaimed, knowing full well what Mordecai is referring to. "I told you never to mention that incident again! Also, Brick! Stop laughing!" Lilith gritted her teeth in humiliated anger as Brick fails to hold back his hearty laughter. The other vault hunters could only stare with blank and curious eyes.

"How could I not? The food poisoning was so intense that I thought I was a goner." Mordecai continued the story while feeding some of his bacon to Talon, who likes it so much that he spread his cute little wings in joy. "Good thing Bloodwing followed her instinct and decided not to eat your burnt crap. I should have listened to her …"

"Oh screw you, Mordecai!" Lilith yelled in a pissed-off manner as she threw a fork at Mordecai, of which bird-tamer easily dodged by ducking.

"HAHAHAHAhehehe … ! Slab, I don't know how you do it, but you made me feel like eating was fun again." Brick laughed as he patted Monty on the back as a friendly complimentary gesture. "What's your secret, by the way? Maybe you can teach Lilith a few tricks of your own, so that she won't screw up again."

"BRICK!" Lilith's rage was redirected towards Brick as she threw another fork at the berserker, of which he blocked with his forearm. Brick said 'Oww!' in response to the fork throw, not because he actually feels any actual pain from it (because that guy might as well be made of bricks … hey, now I get how he got his name!), but for the sake of playful sarcasm. Because if a motherf*ckin' siren throws a fork at you, you have no choice but to say 'Oww!'

"Well, it's nothin' special really. All I did was took the ingredients from all around Pandora and prepare them with the usual methods that many other chefs use." Monty explained with friendly casualness. "Had to experiment a little to get the flavors just right, but it was well worth the time. See, instead of the regular eggs comin' from chickens, I got these specifically from the nests of some spiderants and then poached them to perfection. I don't have regular ol' swine bacon on stock, so I carved these fatty meats out of a chubby skag's belly, and then fry 'em nice and crisp. As for the toast … well, it's just regular ol' toast. Anybody can make those. But for the hash-browns, well that the special part. It's not made from any variety of potato … but from a special Pandoran-grown variety known locally as the 'Eridium tater', which has become quite popular among Pandorans due to its eerie color, oddly enough. The spud probably got its name and popularity from the fact that the shade of color ya'll seein' here is similar to the glowing purple seen on Eridium. But don't worry about the superstition that the potato got its color from absorbing all the Eriduim runoff from the surrounding soil, because I can assure you all that it is pure myth and I've eaten potatoes like these for a while now, without any health problems."

The moment Monty first mentioned of the Eridium runoff thing, everyone who is currently chewing on the food has slowed down its chewing in order for their brain to process all those facts … particularly that part about them _possibly_ putting Eriduim run-off crap in their mouths.

"You know … you probably should have mentioned that small fact before you served your food to us." Lilith said with rather uncaring eyes as she's eating her share of purple potato hash-browns at a regular speed, unlike the other eaters. "But why do I care? I absorb Eridium into my body all the time and I feel fine." The other vault hunters darted narrow-eyed stares at Lilith, thinking that they wouldn't call having a slight "addictive problem" to the purple substance as fine, but … whatever, the hash-browns are so good, they are to die for anyway.

"Ah, yes, the Eridium tater. Also known by its botanical name, _Solanum purpura_." A rather gentlemanly and sophisticated voice spoke up from the far side of the counter, with the dim light barely obstructing the view of the character. From the moment this man starts speaking, it caught the attention of all the vault hunters in the vicinity, particularly Monty. Whoever this knowledgeable person is, he is apparently sipping a cup of tea using a British-style tea-cup-and-bag style. After taking a sip from the tea cup in the classiest way possible, the man continues his explanation. "Although its unique color is quite uncommon among its species, the tuberous crop has enjoyed a fair share of popularity way before the Eridium run-off myth incident. Some of the farmers who sell them claim it to be an entirely new variety, but other experts suggest that it may just be a re-branding of another potato cultivar of similar appearance, the _Solanum andigenum_, which has a couple of rather fascinating nicknames such as the Lion's Paw, the Vitilette, and the Purple Majesty. For those who are familiar of the crop, however, it is highly prized not only for its color, which is derived from the flavonoid more commonly found in berries, but also for its hardiness against colder climates and disease. I'd say you vault hunters should be grateful having the opportunity to sample a delicacy such as this."

"Well, I'll be damned …" Monty muttered under his breath, with a mild smile indicating that he is impressed with the man's knowledge.

"Wow! That's an awfully lot of information on POTATOES!" K.C. exclaimed. "Who are you, some kind of EXTREME potato expert?!"

" *Gasp* … Sir Hammerlock?!" Gaige stated in amusement as he shoves away K.C. to get a better look at her somewhat-crush. Indeed, it was Sir Hammerlock. Broken monocole, classy mustache, prosthetic limbs and all. (I mean, just look at that fabulous mustache! … If I could only rub my cheeks on it … one can only dream~)

"Hello, Hammy!" Tina greeted in a cutesy voice.

"Good morning to you all, vault hunters." Sir Hammerlock greeted as he raise his tea cup towards them as a welcoming gesture.

"Oh hey there, Hammerlock." Lilith replied casually.

"Woah, you guys actually know this dude?" Eugene asked with surprise.

"Well, yeah. He's a kind of a researcher on nature and stuff." Axton explained. "Came here on Pandora to write a book of some sort. He sometimes gives us a few paying jobs and we hang out on occasion."

"Speaking of which, what are you doing here?" Maya asked. "I thought you're still at the lodge from Hunter's Grotto."

"Why, I would often visit Sanctuary from time to time, mind you." Sir Hammerlock explained. "There are no other places on Pandora that has the same amount of companionship as Sanctuary. That and … there are no other places with the availability of alcoholic beverages that even comes close to that of Miss Moxxi's quality. I stopped by yesterday before hearing the commotion with the Crimson Raiders going up against Atlas and what not. Also, I am aware that the fast-travel network is somehow malfunctioning and … now, I am apparently stuck here for the moment."

"I see." Lilith considered. "Well, if you didn't know already, we have a group of corporate vault hunters helping us into fixing the problem, so you wouldn't have to worry about it for too long."

"Well, that's quite interesting." Sir Hammerlock commented in a gentlemanly fashion. "Regardless, I do wish you all luck in the success of your mission. It is quite nice to have a new group of vault hunters added to this lovely bunch, if I do say so myself."

"Well, I wouldn't say 'added' is the right word." Eugene interjected in a smooth manner. "Think of it as more of a temporary alliance."

"And I wouldn't call it lovely, either." Axton added in sarcastic criticism. "Some of the people in the group have enough crazy in them to make another Gaige."

"Hey!" Gaige shouted out, feeling teasingly insulted as she throws mini hammer punches to the wise-cracking commando. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

" *Chuckles* Well, no matter. I suppose you'll have to take all the help you can get. Vault hunting and fine breakfast cuisine, Ho!" Sir Hammerlock cheered optimistically as he raises his cup of tea right before taking another sip.

"… Sir Hammerlock?" Monty uttered out in seemingly quiet awe as he slowly approaches the gentlemanly scholar. "As in … Sir Alistair Hammerlock?"

"Why, um… yes." Sir Hammerlock replied with slight embarrassed hesitation. "… I usually don't use my first name in front of other people. Who do I have the pleasure of acquaintance?"

"Montgomery Jakobs the Fifth. But you can call me Monty." Monty introduced himself with blossoming wonder as he eagerly shakes one of Sir Hamerlock's hands. "You're the one who wrote all those almanacs, right? I am you biggest fan. I've bought and read all your editions. Your style of writing and level of detail is truly amazing."

"Why, how delightful?!" Sir Hammerlock responded with equal joy. "I wasn't aware my almanacs have readers, much less fans. Why, it is truly a delight to meet one of my fans in person."

"Yes, it's an honor to meet you as well, Sir." Monty praised with radiating, almost childish joy. "Your books might be considered by many to be a cult classic, but to me, they are enjoyable to read nonetheless."

" *Laughs* Well, I'm quite flattered!" Sir Hammerlock replied with a slight unpreparedness of meeting a true fan of his work. "Say, which part of my books do you consider to be your favorite?"

"Well … it's hard to pick just one." Monty considered. "But if I had to choose, it would be the part where you describe the excruciatingly frustrating process of making '_ailuropoda melanoleuca'_ breed while in captivity … followed by the bit where you insulted your sister, Aurelia."

"No jest! Those are my favorite parts as well! Ha!" Sir Hammerlock cheered. "Why, it's such a rare and delightful occasion to meet someone I can truly consider as my intellectual peer. I wouldn't think I would meet someone who understands and apprecaites nature as much as I do. We naturalists are truly a dying breed."

"Amen to that, partner." Monty agreed while sporting a warm friendly smile. The nature-loving cowboy then proceed to hand the researcher a plate of his own breakfast. "Say, would you be so kind as to taste-test one of my dishes? I'd really appreciate your opinion on it."

"Why, absolutely! It would be my honor." Sir Hammerlock agreed willingly before grabbing the dish and a fork to try out Monty's cooking. As expected, the food impressed the gentlemanly scholar like it impressed pretty much everyone else. "Mmm-hmm … My God, this is exemplary! Truly exemplary!" Sir Hammerlock practically licked his lips as he chew the food slowly to capture the taste better. "I've never eaten breakfast this excellent in my entire life! And I have eaten plenty of high-class culinary dishes before, none of which could match the level of high-quality taste that you have perfected! This is truly fascinating, I tell you! Truly fascinating!"

"Glad you liked it partner." Monty responded with cheer.

As the two nature-enthusiasts are busy chatting with each other like buddies, the other vault hunters got mildly confused as to this weird coincidental connection between the Jakobs cowboy and the knowledgeable huntsman. Lilith and Brick did a non-verbal gesture towards Mordecai, suspecting he might know of this hidden relationship beforehand. However, Mordecai only mildly shrugged, indicating that he doesn't know all there is to know about Monty and, in all seriousness, he couldn't be bothered to keep track of the friends of his friends and who knows who.

* * *

While Monty and Hammerlock were having a lengthy and wildlife-based conversation with each other, the other vault hunters were busy doing small-talk amongst themselves. Among them were two other people in the bar who remain relatively silent as they sat there with the plates of breakfast left untouched in front of them. Those two are none other than Kazuki and Zer0. Kazuki herself was never that fond of Monty himself, being someone with such a loose-and-open social barrier and deplorable hygiene. Even with the high-praise from others, she wouldn't, in a thousand years, risk her palate and digestive health on the food made by that uncultured drifter. Zer0, on the other hand, seems to not be touching the plate for another reason …

"Zer0-sensei …" Kazuki said as she turns her head slightly to observe the seemingly motionless assassin. "Aren't you going to eat?"

Those words have more weight to it than you might think. Even with spending nearly four years with the personified enigma, Kazuki has never once saw Zer0 _eaten_ anything. At least, there are no instances in which it requires him to remove his helmet in front of her. The odd nature behind it has given Kazuki a wide range of theories and speculation as to the reasoning behind it. Perhaps Zer0 is some sort of robot or cyborg who is not required to eat. Or maybe he does eat; just that he does it secretly so that he wouldn't risk exposing his face to others. Or maybe he eats it some other way, like vaporizing the food into some sort of aerosol of which he absorbs into his skin for nutrition. These are all wild theories for sure. But there's no confirmation on what the truth actually is. So until then, these could all be real possibilities.

"…" Zer0 expresses red holographic ellipses as he turns his head to meet Kazuki's gaze. "Why don't you eat first/ You seem quite hungry yourself/ After you, pupil."

"I'm … I'm not _that_ hungry." Kazuki blushed in response to Zer0's mild concern towards her well-being. "Besides, it is rude for a pupil to eat before her master."

"In that case, I shall/ Take the first bite of this meal/ …" Zer0 then pick up his fork. However, instead of digging the fork into the food right away, he pressed both his hands together into what appears to be a standard ninjutsu hand sign while holding fork in between his thumb and index finger. " … Itadakimasu."

The moment Zer0 speak those last words, the plate has mysteriously vibrated slightly before the food on it has suddenly vanished in an instant, almost like some sort of disappearing magic trick. All of the food on the plate was completely gone without a trace, leaving only a clean plate. The way in which Zer0 dispatches the breakfast utterly baffles Kazuki. Zer0, on the other hand, maintains a cool and composed state throughout the entire act, like he does this on a regular basis. The assumption was that Zer0 has simply teleported the food into his stomach, but who knows what other ninja quackery this mysterious assassin have under his sleeve.

"Sensei … what just happened?" Kazuki asked while blinking in a dumbfounded manner.

"… I ate the breakfast." Zer0 replied casually. "Oishi-desu. (It is delicious.)"

"Is … is that how you always eat your food?" Kazuki asked with wide-eyes and a sweat drop.

Zer0 only nodded in response before saying, "Now it's your turn."

Kazuki hesitated at first, but sooner or later, she's going to have to stomach it. She doesn't care how great the food actually is. In the upper-class world where she was raised for most of her teenage years, everything, including eating, is about social image. Or at least that's how she was taught from her new mother after she was brought into the rather prestigious Akiyama family. Then again, Kazuki wouldn't dare to appear rude in front of her sensei. Seeing no other option, she decides to give the breakfast a try.

"Itadakimasu." Kazuki said as she placed her palms together, indicating an appropriate traditional Japanese custom of what people usually say right before eating a meal.

As she picks up the fork to take the first bite of food, she was surprised at how wrong she is. Based on her previous experience on high-quality cuisine, there is no doubt on her mind that this food is at a whole other level entirely. This food … doesn't belong on Pandora. Heck, it doesn't even belong on this realm of existence. The flavors melt in your mouth in such a way that it resonates with your soul in a much deeper level. This is food that is suitable for kings and emperors … no, they are suitable for gods to enjoy. The more Kazuki savors the small bit of food in her mouth, the more she is conflicted, even infuriated, as to how this seemingly moronic-looking cowboy could craft such a culinary masterpiece.

"So, how do you like it, princess? Was it good enough for your tongue?" Monty suddenly spoke to Kazuki, interrupting the train-of-thought that Kazuki almost lost herself into while tasting the food.

Kazuki could only stare back at Monty with a blank look, hardly able to process the words necessary to make a concise statement. The food was more than 'good enough'. It was great. It was excellent. In fact, it was beyond the level of positive rating that she has the words for. However, as someone who was properly raised in an aristocratic setting for almost half of her life, she refuses to admit her true opinions towards the dish, as it would imply that she might have a liking towards the filthy nature lover himself, which she wouldn't even dare associate to.

"It was … moderate." Kazuki commented dishonestly while trying her best to hide her true feelings. "Still needs a bit of improvement. I don't think it would be fitting to be served in high-class banquets anytime soon."

"Really? Well, gosh darn, I was sure I did all I could to bring the flavors out." Monty said with much concern as he took off his hat in order to scratch his head. "Now what did I do wrong …?"

"She likes quite much/ She's just having a hard time/ Speaking true of heart." Zer0 suddenly revealed out loud.

"Zer0-sensei!" Kazuki complained, annoyed that her sensei would reveal her true emotions like that.

"Oh really? … I see." Monty at first seems mildly annoyed that Kazuki has given him a false rating, but quickly forgiven her and is delighted that she enjoyed the meal. "Well, I'm glad she actually liked it. Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone appreciate my cooking whole-heartedly." Monty's bright warm smile is starkly contrasted to Kazuki's cold stern frown.

"… Zer0-sensei … baka (idiot)." Kazuki muttered to herself in a mean pouty face as she continues to finish her meal, as it is rude in her tradition to leave a plate of food unfinished.

* * *

After a lengthy morning of casual chatting and eating delicious breakfast (much lengthier than Selena has wished), the corporate vault hunters and the camera crew have finally gathered around outside the Blue Moby before taking off to kick some Crimson Knight's asses. Selena was obviously the first vault hunter to get back on the ship, as she is ever eager to complete the mission with a sense of urgency that doesn't seem to be shared by other corporate vault hunters. Meanwhile, Tina and K.C. are affectionately exchanging tight hugs and cheek-kisses, almost acting as if this might be the last time they will see each other even when it's not. Ever since their fateful reunion from yesterday, the pair has become two peas in a pod, not willing to part from each other for even a second. Only after some persuasion (and also some strenuous pulling) does Tina reluctantly let go of K.C. so that the explosively youthful corporate vault hunter could commit to his mission. Meanwhile, Oleg just got back from his "talk" with Moxxi and her family from back in the alleyway. You can still see remnants of the trail of tears streaking down Moxxi's cheeks, with Scooter and Ellie loyally accompanying their mother in close proximity. Oleg and Moxxi exchanged a brief moment of silent and awkward eye-contact before Oleg lumbers his way into the airship, vodka bottle in hand. Then there is Mama Jaws, who sticks out both her tongue and her middle finger to specifically taunt Salvador, of which the gunzerker fiercely responded with two flips of his own birds (let's call it "Flipping-the-bird: Gunzerker style"). If it wasn't for their peaceful agreement, these two would easily gone all-out on each other while wreaking havoc to anyone getting in the way. Given the major possibility of collateral damage resulting from their potential battle, it's a good thing real estate on Pandora is dirt cheap … because it is basically just dirt.

And so, one by one, the corporate vault hunters and the camera crew have all gotten aboard the Blue Moby, right before the airship itself takes off into the bright clear skies. Hopefully, it won't be too long before the two teams meet again. However, it's hard to predict what will happen on Pandora. After the airship has finally taken off, the corporate vault hunters all went to their separate locations within the ship that they feel accustomed to hanging out on. They all got settled down quite nicely as the atmosphere steadily reaches a moderately tranquil state.

However, this sense of quietness seems more like the calm before a storm, for deep within the darkest corners of the Blue Moby, there lies a shrouded eye. An eye that spies upon the vault hunters' regular activities without being spotted itself. An eye with a great possibility of malicious intent. An eye that stares but does not blink. An eye that pierces the soul and dissolves it from within. An eye … that bears the strange yet familiar glassy green round lens.


	38. Apples and Gravity

**Author's Note: What's up, readers?! Sorry for the incredibly delayed update to the fanfic. It's just that ... uh, my grandma passed away and I have to attend her funeral about 3 months ago, and I have been taking my time to cope with it ever since. So yeah, it felt ... it felt miserable to lose a close family member to the inevitability known as death, but you know ... eventually you've got to stop griefing and move on with your life.**

***Runs away to hide in a closet to cry some more***

**What? *Sniff* I'm not crying *Sniff* *Sob* You're crying! There's just a lot of onions in this closet that are being sliced by invisible ghost-ninjas! I am definetely not crying! *Crys a lot more ... for a couple of hours***

* * *

Chapter 38: Apples and Gravity

As the sun shines bright on one side of Pandora, the darkness covers the night sky on the other side of the planet, with only the dim light of the geo-stationary moon weakly illuminating from above. Within the vast barren wasteland region under the night sky lies one particular settlement that is worth a notable mention … Rust Commons North. While it shares common traits with other typical Pandoran settlements (plenty of bandits, plenty of guns, plenty of ... laundry machines? Seriously, there's like a crap-load of laundry machines scattered around Pandora, many of which appear in completely random places, and I don't think people even wash their clothes in most of them. What's up with that?), Rust Commons North has gained some notoriety in the last couple of years. Ever since the cumulative (though definitely not cooperative) bandit-busting efforts of both Hyperion and the Crimson Raiders, bandits are being driven away from their camps left and right, causing it to become increasingly harder to find decent places for bandits to live on Pandora. Instead of wasting more energy on fighting additional turf wars amongst each other, the bandits simply decided to say "F*ck it!" and just group together in one place. Definitely being one of the more infamous places among the bandit community, there are more bandits per land space over here than in any other place on Pandora. Over time, as more people have settled in, it became more of a fortress, with its own gigantic metal gate, steel-reinforced infrastructure, and most importantly of all … a functional plumbing system (because that sh*t ain't gonna flush itself). Granted, the bandits inside are not solely relying on strength in numbers alone, as you can randomly pick any one of the bandits inside and he would probably kick just as much ass as a bandit from any other region, if not more. In other words, unless you have a death wish, it is best not to even approach Rust Commons North within several hundred kilometers.

However, approaching Rust Commons North is exactly what one particular person is about to do. This person being none other than Lord Arcane. Within less than a kilometer outside the Rust Commons North radius, we see the enigmatic Atlas CEO wearing his signature crimson-red hooded long-jacket, casually tramping through the dry coarse sand underneath his black boots, holding onto a metallic briefcase with one hand and … eating a red apple?

*Crunch* *Munch* *Munch* …

Every bite releases a sharp crisp crunching sound. Judging by the way Lord Arcane eats that apple, he seems to be mildly enjoying it. Given how the CEO is practically a trillionaire, you'd think his choice of food would be somewhat more aristocratic. I guess even leaders of mega-corporations enjoys simple pleasures every once in a while. To add to his playful personality, Lord Arcane would occasionally toss the half-eaten apple up in the air before grabbing it as it falls down and take another bite out of it again. The strange thing is … the apple seems to be falling a bit slower than it was supposed to be.

By the time he finally approached near the Rust Commons North's metal gate, Lord Arcane has already finished his first apple, leaving behind a neatly chewed-up core. After tossing the apple core away, Lord Arcane scans his eyes across the base's infrastructure to see a rather overwhelming sight. The large gate at the front is almost entirely made of semi-rusted metal and towering nearly 50 meters tall. In addition, there are a pack of mean-looking bandits guarding at the gate. Some of them are at the top of the gate, standing on a crudely constructed balcony and acting as far-looking watch-guards. The others are scattered at the base of the gate, acting more or less as gate "bouncers". The watch-guards at the balcony spotted Lord Arcane from the far distance through their binoculars and decided to signal the ones at the bottom to go check him out. Among the gate guards who approached Lord Arcane were three heavily armed bandits: one nomad, one psycho, and one goliath. Just when Lord Arcane is appraching almost at the front gate, he is halted by those three bandits.

"Well, well, look what we have here?" The nomad took the initiative to speak first as he rests his rusty assault rifle on his shoulder. Since nomads are among the more intelligent (and sane) types of bandits, it seems appropriate that they take upon more of a leadership and negotation role. "It seems we got ourselves a drifter here, boys."

"Meat! I smell meat!" The psycho babbled nonsensically while wildly swinging his buzzaxe to demonstrate his unpredictably violent tendencies. "Need meat for my BICYCLE HAMLET SHYLOCK!"

"Drifter! … friend?" The goliath uttered with a dopey but mildy innocent tone as he holds onto his two riot shotguns in a dual-wielding manner. This demonstrates the surprising soft side of golaith's nature … as long as their helmet stays on, of course.

"No, you idiot! It's obvious that he's an intruder! God, why do I have to end up with you losers …" The nomad complained, knowing that his associates are not the sharpest tool in the shed. The nomad then confronts Lord Arcane by lightly tapping the barrel tip of his rifle at the CEO's chest to emphasize his daunting demeanor. "Anyway, you better piss off outta here if you know what's good for ya. This here is bandit territory."

"Indeed it is. In fact, this is perhaps the best place to find the toughest and meanest bandits, from what I've heard." Lord Arcane described in his usual polite formality of a British accent (that is only 75% as sexy as Benedict Cumberbatch's voice, which is still pretty goddamn sexy), unfazed by the bandits' discouragement. "That is precisely why I am here to meet up with whoever's in charge of this fine establishment, as I wish to discuss business with them. Now, if you would kindly allow me entry into the fort and lead me to your leader, it would be greatly appreciated."

"Pfft, pwahahahaha …!" The nomad almost choked laughing in response to Lord Arcane's ludicrous proposition. While the psycho and the goliath besides him don't have the brain capacity to understand the current situation, they nonetheless laughed with their comrade anyway, albeit in a half-hearted manner. "… aaahh, so let me get this straight. You want me to take a complete total stranger like you inside that gate and let you meet up with our boss? You think I'm that stupid? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Why, of course! How rude of me to not introduce myself first." Lord Arcane apologized politely. He even offers the three bandits a handshake out of courtesy. "I go by the name of Lord Arcane, the current head of the newly reformed Atlas corporation."

"Atlas?!" The previously humored nomad now blurted out in bewildered outburst. From the moment Lord Arcane spoke of the word "Atlas", the bandits immediately jolt up in full-alert. The nomad hastily cocks his rifle and firmly aims it dead-center at Lord Arcane's head. Both the psycho and the goliath followed up with their companion nomad's reaction by readying their combat poses, thinking that sh*t is about to hit the fan real soon. "You've got some nerve coming here, after you corporate assholes left us Crimson Lance here to rot in this sh*thole of a planet!"

"Woah, woah, easy there, my friend." Lord Arcane pleaded while maintaining calmness. He abruptly drops the briefcase and hold his hands up as an act of surrender. "Let's try not to escalate this situation any further by doing something we both are going to regret."

"Regret?!" The nomad sneered indignantly. "It is you who should regret coming here in the first place, knowing full well that people from Atlas aren't welcome here! Atlas abandoned us! We risked our lives to do their dirty jobs and they didn't even bother to pick us up! We were left to fend for ourselves and were forced to becoming low-level bandits thanks to them! I hope that their midget-lovin' balls burn in HELL!"

"Ah, yes. I have heard about the stories of my predecessor's misdeeds and atorcities towards the people of Pandora, both citizen and Crimson Lance alike." Lord Arcane spoke softly in order to solicit sympathy. "However, the current Atlas corporation is now under new management and has undergone reform in many areas, so I can assure you that those unethical methods are a thing of the past. You can have my word, as the new head of the corporation, that we would certainly never attempt a stunt like that ever again."

"Bullsh*t!" The nomad raved with increasing ferocity. The barrel of his rifle is pressed ever-so-close to the skull of Lord Arcane. "You corporate skag-lickin' midget-lovin' scumbags are all the same! You all wanna take advantage of us when we are even the slightest use to you! And the moment we became useless, you throw us away like trash and run away with your tails between your legs! What makes you think I would ever believe a word you say?!"

"Now, now, we're all reasonable people here. Let's not resort to violence just yet." Lord Arcane negotiated. "As they always say, violence is wrong, though I'm not a proponent of letting yourself get brutally murdered without an attempt of self-defense either, but I digress. Oh, I have an idea! How about, as a sign of appreciation …" Lord Arcane reaches his jacket-pocket to pull out another red apple, as big and fresh as the one he had eaten before. "… I give you a delightfully tasty snack. As they always say, 'An apple a day keeps … uh, it keeps the medical professionals away from you.' So basically, apples are like doctor repellent. And, given how famished you look right now-"

Before the friendly Lord Arcane can even finish his sentence, the furious nomad uses his rifle to butt-stroke Lord Arcane right in the face. This abrupt attack causes Lord Arcane to stagger a little, even making him to drop the apple onto the ground. There is even hint of Lord Arcane's nose slightly bleeding as a result of the strike.

"You're trying to make fun of me, you little sh*t?!" The nomad insulted with a growling tone of wrath. "I'm not eating your stinkin' apple, and I sure as heck not lettin' you get anywhere near the fortress! In fact, I don't think you'll be leavin' this place alive!"

Despite of the authentic hostility of the threat, Lord Arcane remains steadfast. He first wipes away the blood that is leaking out of his nose in a rather gentle manner, almost as if he didn't mind getting injured by the bandit at all. Afterwards, Lord Arcane slowly walks to the fallen apple and picks it up from the ground. He then brushes off the dirt from the apple and takes a sweet delectable bite out of the apple, either not caring that it got dirtied from before or didn't know about the 3-second rule. Every bite releases a sharp crisp crunching sound.

" *Crunch* *Munch* *Munch* … *Gulp*… Such a shame that you would cause me to sully this exquisite fruit." Lord Arcane spoke with an attitude of snobbishness gradually replacing the politeness from before. "I'll have you know, these are of the highest quality apples known to man as of yet. They are grown from a state-of-the-art apple orchard that is of the highest quality standards within the six galaxies, so they quite literally cost an arm and a leg. Speaking of which …"

What happened afterwards was almost unreal. Lord Arcane tosses his half-eaten apple straight up into the air before approaching the nomad at a breakneck speed. The velocity of his movement has reached to such a high level, you couldn't tell if Lord Arcane was running or hovering, similar to that of a phantom. The nomad didn't even have the time to blink or the opportunity to pull the trigger before Lord Arcane speeds right behind him and …

*Whoosh* *Splat*

… A bursting shower of blood splatters all over the place. The nomad suddenly but gradually feel heated pain near his right shoulder and left thigh area. The pain then surges through his entire body at such a high intensity that he collapsed onto the floor. The nomad started screaming, out of pain, out of fear, out of … whatever. He just felt like screaming. After the midst of confusion, it is only when his blurred vision suddenly returns to focus did he see what is going on. And there is no way he could believe his eyes.

The nomad's right arm and left leg has been severed clean off from his body.

And Lord Arcane is standing proudly next to him, looking down on him while holding onto his severed limbs, one on each hand.

What's even stranger, the half-eaten apple that was tossed into the air from before … is still hovering and tumbling in mid-air, falling at a rather slow pace, like some paranormal force is holding it up there.

"AAAHHH! AAAHHH …! OH MY GOD, IT HURTS! WHAT THE F*CK IS GOIN' ON?!" The nomad screams as he cradles pathetically on the floor with blood oozing out of his wounds. His two fellow bandits right next to him, the psycho and goliath, were in complete shock of this split-second occurrence as their minds are still trying to contemplate the absurdity of the situation.

"There, an arm and a leg. Now we're even." Lord Arcane gloated roguishly as he casually tosses both of the severed limbs on the ground. His fiendish smile indicates his supreme confidence in this fight, almost as if he know he could slaughter everyone around without lifting a finger.

"Argh … what are you jerkbags standing around for?! GET HIM!" The downed nomad loudly commanded his two bandit teammates, who snapped out of their confused state to initiate their counterattack at Lord Arcane.

"You hurt friend … Welcome to die!" The goliath cried out in a more antagonistic tone as he opens fire his two shotguns onto Lord Arcane. In response to the attack, Lord Arcane puts forward one of his hands with an out-stretched palm as a mysterious black aura is released from it, forming an semi-transparent force-field that blocks the shotgun pellets and render Lord Arcane completely unharmed. Even repeated firing from the goliath's shotgun has no effect on Lord Arcane's mysterious black-aura shield whatsoever. Also, the apple remains gyrating in midair, refusing to fall anytime soon.

"What the hell …?" The nomad is simply awestruck, as he couldn't even remotely begin to comprehend what is going on in front of him. Is it some sort of electricity-based orb shield that Lord Arcane is wearing? No, it can't be! Even the toughest shields cannot withstand that amount of damage without giving out. Also, that wouldn't explain how Lord Arcane is able to move so quickly and rip out his limbs with ease. Something else is going on here. Something he simply couldn't understand.

"Meat bicycle … You are my MEAT BICYCLE!" The psycho howled his usual lines of obscenity as he added to the goliath's attack by flinging his buzz-axe like a deadly projectile towards Lord Arcane. However, like a practitioner of telekinesis, Lord Arcane puts his outstretched palm forward and halted the incoming buzz-axe in mid-air while the buzz-axe itself is still spinning at a fixed point.

" *Chuckles* … Too easy." Lord Arcane mumbles confidently to himself. With a flick of his finger, he telekinetically causes the hovering and spinning buzz-axe to spin exponentially faster before launching itself back at the psycho at blinding speed. This results in the buzz-axe slamming right into the psycho's head, lodging the sharp serrated edge right into the cranium and causing splats of blood to ooze out. Meanwhile, the apple is still in mid-air …

Immediately afterwards, Lord Arcane moves back into a hyper-speed blur before appearing behind the oblivious goliath. Lord Arcane then uses his immense telekinetic powers to launch the goliath in mid-air and push him towards the base of the gate. Strangely enough, even with that push, the goliath doesn't seem to be harmed physically by it, almost as if was within Lord Arcane's intention.

"Hey, hey, you guys! Red alert! Red Alert!" The nomad yells in his ECHO-device in an attempt to ask his group for reinforcements. "We got an intruder here, and he's got some serious psychic-type sh*t up his sleeves! We need backup! I repeat, WE NEED BACKUP!"

In response to that message, the bandits at the base prepares retaliation by opening the gate and letting out a massive group of bandits that are charging towards Lord Arcane. There's probably two dozen of them, at the very least. Some of them are riding in bandit trucks, some of them are on foot, but all of them are heavily armed and extremely pissed-off. Despite of seeing a mob of murdering psychopaths approach towards him, Lord Arcane doesn't seem to be nervous at the slightest. In fact, Lord Arcane seems rather confident, even delighted at the sight, almost like it was his plan all along. As the bandits continues to rush out of the gate, Lord Arcane shapes one of his hands into a karate-chop form and brutally decapitates the psycho next to him with ease. It's almost like his hand was a knife slicing through butter, despite of looking just like regular arm with no weapons or tools attached to it. After he decapitated the head of the psycho, he removes the buzz-axe that was lodged into the skull and, similar to a soccer ball, he kicks the psycho's head far into the distance towards the group of bandits. Just as the psycho head was about to land, it coincidentally collided with the helmet of the goliath that was moved there by Lord Arcane from before, causing the golaith's helmet to be knocked off as a result.

And you know what happens when a goliath loses his helmet …

"Mistake … BIG GODDAMN MISTAKE!" The goliath howled in gradually increasing anger as he transforms into his rampaging form that will attack friend and foe alike. His head is revealed to be nothing more than a dangling fleshy spine with brain and eyeballs attached at the end. In addition, his skin tone is now flushed with a redder color, further indicating his new-gained rage.

"Oh shit! His helmet is off! Everyone, get away!" One of the bandits from the truck warned frightfully as he saw the goliath transformation. Any bandit who's worth his salt knows how to deal with a goliath once he has gone into rage. You either kill him as quickly as possible, or you get the heck away from him in order to prevent him from getting stronger with each kill. Given how unlikely it is for the first option to succeed, the second option fares better.

" *Chuckles* … I don't think so." Lord Arcane mutters to himself as he sees the rampaging goliath and the group of panicking bandits from afar. Even at that distance, he figured he can still work his "magic". As he rubs his palms together, he directs his intense focus onto the goliath, specifically his center of gravity. Once he reaches the peak of his concentration, he activates his mysterious powers once again with a snap of the finger. This, in turn, causes the goliath to be imbued with a black misty aura that creates a gravitational singularity effect, pulling all objects in the vicinity towards it. The bandits who are desperately trying to escape are now being helplessly dragged towards the goliath by the black aura before having their bodies crushed and ripped apart by the goliath himself. Even the bandit trucks, no matter how fast they accelerate, couldn't escape from the golaith's reach due to the black aura initiated by Lord Arcane. As the bandits are being helplessly sucked into the goliath like a black hole, the goliath is able to easily pummel the bandits one by one in order to get stronger.

"GET READY TO FEEL MY FINGER IN YOUR EYEBALLS!" The raging goliath shouted out profanely as he repeatedly cracks open the skulls and rip out the spines of his fellow bandit comrades in a rage-induced frenzy. For every kill, he gets stronger, which in turn gives him an ability to kill more, leading to a vicious feedback cycle. First, it's Raging Goliath. Then it's Badass Goliath. Then Super Badass Goliath. Then Ultimate Badass Goliath … Goliaths are pretty much the Super-Saiyans of the Borderlands universe, aren't they?

"What the heck is goin' on?! Why couldn't we escape that damn goliath?! It's like we're being pulled into it or somethin'." One of the bandits on the truck yelled in pants-wetting terror.

"How the hell should I know?!" Another bandit yelled before climbing into the turret seat of the truck and take aim at the goliath with the explosive-barrel launcher. "Screw it! If we cannot escape from it, we'll just have to kill it!"

The bandit manning the turret proceeds to launch barrel after barrel of explosives towards the nearly unstoppable goliath. The bandits from the other truck saw this and got the idea to follow through with it by using their own turret to launch massive sawblades at the goliath. Nearby bandits who are still in one piece assisted with the plan by firing their guns and lobbing their grenades towards the goliath as well. Everyone contributed to the effort of the attack, hoping to increase the chances of killing it just before it kills them. A storm of bullets, metal, and explosives flew into the goliath, leaving behind dust and smoke surrounding the environment until nothing can be seen anymore. Despite of that, once the smoke is cleared up, the goliath is still left standing. Moreover, it doesn't seem like he's actually endured the attack. It's more like he didn't even get hurt from the attack to begin with, as there is a mysterious black aura shield that is taking the force of all of the damage, leaving the goliath completely unharmed.

"What the hell, man?! How is he still standing?! Even the toughest goliaths should be dead by now!" One of the bandits in the truck yelled.

" *Chuckles* … nice try. But I'm not going to let the big guy die that easily." Lord Arcane whispers to himself as he extends his hand outward and fiddling his fingers in midair like he's puppeteering an invisible puppet. The ominous black aura shield surrounding the goliath is, without a doubt, his doing. The apple from before is still hovering in midair, by the way.

"I'LL CRACK YOU SKULL OPEN WITH MY THUMBS!" The raging goliath clamored at the top of his lungs. After picking off whatever ground troops that are left, he grabs hold onto both trucks, one hand on each of the rear bumpers. With his immense superhuman strength, the raging goliath lifted both of the trucks with his two hands and smashes them in midair, causing the trucks to collide and explode and killing the rest of the bandits in the vicinity. After that huge slaughter by the bandits, the goliath has finally reached the level that Lord Arcane wanted him to be in … GOD-liath, the highest and strongest level a goliath can ever achieve.

"I'M UNSTOPPABLE!" The GOD-liath howled boastingly. He then scans across the desert to see Lord Arcane at the far distance, standing idly and without the slightest sign of hesitation. Once the GOD-liath has spotted him, he immediately charges towards Lord Arcane like a raging bull, presumably seeing him as another target to kill.

Meanwhile, the nomad from before, with the dismembered limbs and such, is still alive, albeit still crawling helplessly on the floor. Because taking part in violent firefights on a daily basis is practically the job description of a bandit, smarter bandits like nomads always carry a health kit with them in case of emergencies. This nomad used his health-kit to stop the bleeding just in time to hopefully live long enough to be rescued. However, from the looks of it, it probably won't matter since OMG, THERE'S A FRICKIN' GOD-LIATH THAT IS APPROACHING FAST AND GETTING READY TO DISH OUT A WORLD OF HURT TO YA'LL SKAG-LICKIN' MIDGET-LOVIN' TAINT SACKS!

"Oh SHIT! He's coming towards us!" The nomad stated the obvious as he crawls pathetically towards the standing Lord Arcane. "You've done it this time, corporate midget-lover! There's no way you're gonna face a GOD-liath and get out of this alive! He'll demolish you!"

" *Chuckles* … we'll see about that." Lord Arcane replied to the nomad on the floor before calmly stepping forward, seemingly prepared to face the GOD-liath head on.

"What?! You're actually going to fight him?! That's crazy! There's no way you're survive this!" The nomad spoke in utter dismay as the GOD-liath is almost within the proximity of Lord Arcane. Even as of right now, Lord Arcane maintains his shrewd smile ensuring that everything is within his predicted plan.

"YOU BETTER GODDAMN SCREAM FOR ME!" The GOD-liath yelled as he lunges into the air in order to perform a powerful punch right into his target's smug face. Just as he was about to land his punch, Lord Arcane pushes out his outstretched hand to intercept the GOD-liath's attack. Just when the two's hands had finally impacted-

*SPLAT* *BOOM*

The apple has finally stopped hovering in mid-air and begins to fall normally.

* * *

About an hour later, the Rust Commons North bandit camp has gone quiet. There's no more sound of bullets fired, grenades going off, or psycho bandits shouting about meat bicycles. There's only the sound of wind blowing against the sand. Sand soaked in the blood of a mangled GOD-liath's corpse that was brutally split in half. Two desecrated halves of a very large corpse … just lying there lifelessly on the ground … nothing more than rotten flesh for maggots to dwell on. That is what the leader of the Rust Common North bandit camp saw when he came back from a raid with his own group of bandit brothers who were away from the base a while ago.

The leader of the Rust Commons North can quite live up to his reputation as the meanest bandit leader around, even with just appearances alone. Towering almost 7 feet tall, this man of Caucasian-descent basically has the physique of a bodybuilder on all of the steroids. We're talking biceps the size of watermelons. We're talking six-packs (abs) that could crush six-packs (beer) just by doing crunches. We're talking fingers so thick and muscular, they could probably punch holes into thick metal plates or … you know, be a nice substitute for having a masculine organ of adequate length. In addition to that, the man wears a gray jeans-jacket with ripped sleeves that shows the shoulders, dark-brown cargo pants, and hefty leather boots with steel spikes to add a bit of edginess to the whole design. There's also quite a number of gang tattoos on both of his exposed biceps to reinforce that he's a badass and you probably shouldn't mess with him. But perhaps the most iconic feature of all is … his iron mask. Shaped like that of a skull, this mask encapsulates almost the entire head of the man, covering his entire face. It is because of this mask that strikes fear into all of those he commands and conquers. It is because of this mask that grants him the appropriate name of which everyone knows him by … Iron Mask.

**Iron Mask : I keep my mask on, you keep your head attached**

"Boss … ergh, Boss!" A voice originating from the ground nearby is heard by Iron Mask.

It's from a nomad who was near-death and crawling feebly on the sandy floor. You can still see the dry blood stains near the areas of his recently-severed right arm and left leg. Being the bandit leader that he is, he'd obviously want to know more about what is going on, so having even one survivor who has witnessed the incident is a godsend.

"What the hell happened here?! Who did this?!" Iron Mask grunted with outrageous shock as he kneels down to face the injured nomad. He even used his arms to cradle onto the nomad's shoulders so he could get his posture more upright, making it easier to breathe. This is a kind of compassionate act that you don't see every day in the bandit community. Furthermore, if you listen closely enough, you can sorta hear a bit of genuine concern mixed in with the tone of anger and confusion.

"Ergh … there was this guy … said he's from Atlas …" The nomad explained to Iron Mask with whatever minimal stamina he has left in his dying body. "… said he's here to discuss business with you … I told him to f*ck off, and then … and then … *Breathes heavily*…"

"Calm down, calm down. I understand. Whoever this son of a b*tch is, we're gonna make him pay." Iron Mask reassures the panicking nomad before swiftly demands medical attention fro his bandit subordinates. "Hey, we need medics here! Get on it, on the double!"

"Listen … boss … you gotta be careful." The nomad wheezed as he grips onto Iron Mask's jacket to emphasize the importance of his words. "… this man … it's like he can move things with his mind …" The nomad's hand is shaking as he points to the goliath's mutilated corpse. " … see that over there … that goliath went full-on GOD-mode … and this guy just ripped him in half like it was nothing … he's dangerous."

"Alright, I know. Now rest up and try not die on me." Iron Mask consoled the nomad as he lay him down on the ground while the bandit medics operate first-aid on him.

Afterwards, Iron Mask promptly round up all of his bandit comrades for all-out assault. With the gang behind him, he marches towards the steel gate, only to shockingly find it busted open, leaving a large hole right in the middle of the gate. The hole was wide enough for two bandit trucks to go through, and the edges appear to be severely serrated and ripped. From the looks of it, it doesn't seem to be caused by explosives, though that leaves a bigger question as to how the hell anyone could do this much damage to this kind of structure otherwise. Whatever's the case is, Iron Mask intends to find out.

Once inside the actual base, there's an even more shocking sight to behold. Hundreds of bodies scattered all across the large interior of the Rust Commons North base. Some of them are definitely dead as the blood is dripping from their motionless corpses, but some of them are still alive, albeit in agonizing pain. The most surprising and perhaps creepiest of it all … some of the bodies are hovering in mid-air, trapped partially inside semi-transparent bubbles of black aura, with limbs hanging out of the bubbles like some kind of floating rag-doll. While most of the bodies attached to these paranormal bubbles are already dead, some are still alive, as their cries for help are drowned into the background noise of the countless pleas of help. Furthermore, there are graffiti-like writings on the wall, seemingly created with the fresh blood from the eviscerated bandits. The writings on the wall said "Waiting for you at the boss room." with blood arrows pointing towards the staircase leading upward to what we could assume was where the boss room is located.

Iron Mask himself doesn't have time to take care of all the injured victims on his own, so he orders the large portion of his group to go help the injured while he and two of his bandit companions go upstairs to pursue the man responsible for all this. At last, he and the two bandits arrived at the main "boss room" that acts more or less as an office for the boss of the camp. Iron Mask signals his two bandits teammates to get ready before he forcibly kicks the door open and pulls out his personal custom-made giant magnum revolver.

The small room itself was not that much to look at, but it was relatively neat compared to any other bandit encampment. There are a few lanterns here and there, partially illuminating the entire room with an orange-yellow glow similar to a campfire. There's a rectangular wooden desk in the middle of it similar to that of a typical office. Accompanying that wooden desk is a large chair of which the elegance of the red-velvet fabric is counteracted by the ranshackleness of the patches of duct tape holding it together. And, of course, Lord Arcane is sitting on that chair, with legs resting on the desk, two shot glasses in one hand and a bottle of rakk-ale in another.

"Huh … took you long enough." Lord Arcane mocked whimsically, as if disregarding the severity of the situation. He got up from his lazy position and began placing the shot glasses on the table in order to pour the contents of the bottle into them. He then approaches the obviously infuriated Iron Mask while holding onto both of the rakk-ale filled shot-glass with his two hands. "And here I was, taking my precious time off just to meet up with you. You have made quite a name for yourself, Iron Mask. There's not a bandit around who doesn't tremble by the mere mention of your name. Being revered for your efficiency as well as your brutality, you also manage your bandit camp to become more akin to that of a well-organized miltiary, thereby garnering quite a large group of loyal and highly-skilled followers. A perfect mixture of both fear and respect, if I might add, which would make even someone such as myself feel green with envy-"

Iron Mask didn't even let Lord Arcane finish his sentence before pressing the barrel tip of his large revolver right on Lord Arcane's forehead, tempted to redecorate the entire room with his brain matter any moment now.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow you brains out right now!" Iron Mask threatened Lord Arcane with the semi-rhetorical question, eyes bloodshot with fierce rage.

"I'll give you two reasons … and they're right behind you." Lord Arcane countered with cocky confidence. Iron Mask turned around only to see that his two bandit comrades that are accompanying him are now floating helplessly in mid-air. Additionally, they seem to be struggling to breathe, almost like their throats are being strangled by a mysterious invisible force (So basically, the Darth Vader Jedi choke-hold, but with a dash of Lord Arcane's smug attitude added to it.) "Not enough for you. Well, how about taking a look outside?" Iron Mask was curious enough to step out of the office and look out at the large interior area of the base camp he previously came from. To the shock of Iron Mask, all of the bandits in the vicinity, including the ones who just recently came back from the raiding trip with Iron Mask, are floating in midair and seeming being strangled as well. While Iron Mask is frustrated at how helpless he is in this situation, he is also mesmerized by this physics-defying phenomenon. "You know, I did just killed half of your bandits, mortally wounded the other half, and ripped open your pathetic little steel gate out there like it was made of paper. What in the world makes you think that you can do anything against me?"

" *Heavy agitated growl* … what do you want?" Iron Mask asked with held-back anger as he walks back into the office to face Lord Arcane.

"Oh? Now you start to care what I want? How considerate." Lord Arcane's delivery in polite sarcasm was uncanny. He then snaps his finger, promptly causing all of the bandits that are currently floating to safely fall down onto the ground, including the two bandit grunts inside the office. "Well, for starters, I am looking for a man. Specifically, a man by the name of Louis Dauger. You wouldn't happen to know a man by that name, do you?"

Iron Mask's eyes widen in horrifying astonishment. Louis Dauger … not only is he familiar with that name, it's a name that has brought back some twisted memories of which he'd rather not revisit, which means quite a lot coming from a badass bandit leader who is feared by many of his bandit minions. Of course he would know that name. In fact, it's almost impossible to forget that name. Because that name … that name …

"You two …" Iron Mask ordered the two bandits on the ground next to him who were just being Jedi-force-choked a minute ago. "Leave this room, so we can have a talk ... alone. Tell the others out there not to attack anyone until I give the order. Focus on healing the injured. Got it?"

"Yes, boss!" The two bandits agreed high-spiritedly in unison before promptly exiting the room and closing the door behind them. This leaves Iron Mask and Lord Arcane completely alone inside the room. The few seconds of awkward silence has only intensified the tension in this situation.

"Louis Dauger … that's your name, right?" Lord Arcane revealed as he pull up a wooden chair to sit opposite-facing to the patched-up red velvet office chair across the desk. "That's the name you had before … uh, before you established this Iron Mask persona for yourself, ins't it? Honestly, the skull-motif may seem appropriate, but at the same time, overly cliche. You should try mix things up a little bit. You know, to stand out among the crowd."

"Who the hell are you, how did you do that, and how do you know my name?!" Iron Mask interrogated as he frustratingly sat on the boss chair of the room, directly facing Lord Arcane at opposite ends of the wooden desk.

"Ooh, off to a rocky start, are we? Well, no matter. I'm quite an expert in smoothing things out if nothing else." Lord Arcane started out with a mocking friendly gesture. "However, if you will, one question at a time, please? First, the introductions. My name is Lord Arcane, current CEO of the Atlas corporation. You may perhaps refer me as 'milord', 'Lord Arcane', or even cute nicknames such as 'Lordy' if we're on good enough terms."

" 'Lord Arcane'? What are you, some kind of medieval RPG villain?" Iron Mask mocked with unhindered honesty.

"Well, I suppose 'Iron Mask' isn't that high up on the creativity scale either, so let's give each other a pass, shall we?" Lord Arcane suggested. "Secondly, I know much more than just your name, Mr. Dauger. I know you used to be in the Crimson Lance. First Lieutenant of D Company Third Starborne Brigade, if I'm not mistaken. You're basically the right-hand man of the infamous Commandant Steele a couple years back. Then, once the commandant has 'kicked the bucket' due to a certain incident involving a vault and way too many tentacles, you pretty much have nowhere else to go. Well, having the very corporation you work for to abandon you like that probably contributed to the tragedy, but we'll get back to that in a bit. Of course, it isn't directly straight to bandithood that you went. Oh no, your path towards corruption was way more roundabout, because there was once in your life when you were actually part of the Crimson Raiders."

" *Growling* … are you done yet?" Iron Mask spoke with much added agitation as Lord Arcane indiscriminately dig up his whole backstory.

"Far from it my friend. Here." Lord Arcane said before he snaps the finger, causing one of the shot glass filled with rakk-ale to telekinetically slid across the table and stop within Iron Mask's reach. "Neat trick, isn't it? Understandably, plenty of people who saw me using my 'powers' all want to know how it works. But as they always say ... 'A magician never reveals his secret'. Well, I do not count myself as a magician for many reasons. Firstly, I do not perform for the amusement of anyone other than myself. And secondly ... only jokers perform magic tricks." Lord Arcane then winks at the audience. (Touche, Lord Arcane. Touche.)

" *Irritated growl* ... does anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?" Iron Mask growled irritatingly in response to the indirectness of Lord Arcane's chatter.

"Well not really. Because before they have the opportunity to ever comment on that, they are already dead." Lord Arcane implied that he doesn't take insults kindly. "Why don't you have a drink, friend? This retelling of stories is going to take a while." Lord Arcane then snaps his finger once again to cause the other shot glass filled with rakk-ale to mystically float into the air and hover towards Lord Arcane's hand. He then downs the shot glass in one go, only to immediately spit out the contents all over Iron Mask's face in a surge of astonished disgust at the ale's unappealing taste. Presumably, after that first experience, he isn't looking forward to a second glass. "PFFT! Gee, GOD that was awful! You mix skag piss with your ale or was it supposed to taste like that?"

" *Angry growling* …" Iron Mask only responded with an angrier growl as he drinks his own glass of rakk-ale with relative ease, almost like he is adapted to handle its rather unique taste. While he was drinking, he kept his mask lifted only slightly as to avoid revealing his face at all cost.

" *Sigh* … right, where was I? Oh yes, you were part of the lovely gang known as the Crimson Raiders." Lord Arcane continued. "Granted, it was a brief period of enrollment, but you did plenty of great work while you were there, weren't you? Then things have gone south, you and the other members had a falling-out, and finally, the leader of the Crimson Raiders … a chap by the name of Roland … he kicked your sorry ass out of the group, leaving you to fend for yourself once more. After this heart-breaking act of betrayal and abandonment, you probably said to yourself 'To heck with it. If the world wants me to become a bandit, I'll go ahead and become a bandit. I'll set fires on all the homes, rape all the women, and slit the throats of all of the children. It's not like I have a family to worry about-"

"SHUT THE F*CK UP!" Iron Mask's wrath was at the tipping point. He can no longer let Lord Arcane insult him like that anymore and promptly tries to make it very clear by quick-draw his gigantic revolver to shoot at the red-coated bastard. He didn't care if Lord Arcane's mysterious powers somehow make him invulnerable to bullets … he just wants to shoot him real bad. However, before he is even able to fire a bullet, Lord Arcane snaps his finger, causing Iron Mask to levitate in mid-air as well as unwillingly relinquish his revolver so that the gun floats towards Lord Arcane.

" *Sigh* … didn't I say it was useless? Honestly, humans are so emotional sometimes." Lord Arcane said as he grabbed the levitating revolver and pocket it for himself. "That's it, I'm keeping this gun. No more acting trigger-angry for you." Lord Arcane then performs a hand gesture of an index finger swiping downward, causing Iron Mask to slowly drop back to his own seat. After Iron Mask sat down, it felt like his entire body is overcome by a mysterious force weighing him down, forbidding him from moving a muscle. He felt like every part of his body has turned into cement, refusing to respond to his own will to budge. Iron Mask gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in response to how he has to bend to Lord Arcane's every whim. Despite of that, there is nothing he can possibly do right now, so he might as well bear with it until he can figure out what Lord Arcane wants. "Now, since I've brought up the issue, I guess I don't need to 'beat around the bush'. Yes, I know you have a family. A wife and a young daughter, if I may add. Mrs. Isabelle Dauger is quite the lovely woman, isn't she? And the young daughter Mia is quite adorable as well, if I do say so myself. Overall, I'd say it was a relatively happy family. Perfect, almost. Except for one tiny detail ... of which I mean they have already assumed you, the utmost best husband and father in their lovely universe, ... is dead."

"SHUT UP! I SAID SHUT UP!" Iron Mask's blood is practically boiling. Nowhere in his point in life does he want to kill a man more. Being a Crimson Lance for a third of his lifetime means that he has an opportunity to kill people for one reason or another. Usually, these reasons lacks sufficient justification and it ended up wearing down in his conscience over time. But, to see this lunatic manipulator of a man giving hints into threaten his family and to not be able to fight back only infuriates him more. Killing Lord Arcane would instead improve his conscience rather than deteriorate it, if nothing else.

"Now, of course you, being the loving husband and father that you were, is obviously alive and breathing." Lord Arcane continued. "And given your presumably unhindered intelligence and your experience in dealing with both military and corporation alike, it's not entirely out of the question that you might somehow be able to get off this planet and go back to your family. Or, if that is simply not possible, at the very least you could send out an ECHO message to your family indicating that your are alive and well. So that begs the question ... why do that assume that you are dead after all these years? It's almost like you intentionally hide the fact that you are alive and deliberately try to not go back to your family. It's almost like you love being a stinkin' Pandoran bandit scum so much that you just don't care about your family anymore-"

"I SAID SHUT THE F*CK UP, YOU PIECE OF SH*T!" Iron Mask just about had enough of Lord Arcane's incitation. With sheer force of will alone, he manages to use his strength to overpower Lord Arcane's gravitational veil and forcefully grapple onto Lord Arcane's collar with one hand while simultaneously take off his own Iron Mask helmet with the other. Once the metal skull helmet is taken off, what was revealed ... was utterly gruesome. There was barely even a face on the man's head. It's just a fleshy brain and eyeballs attached a long dangling spine, all of which covered in gory flesh without skin. The truth was almost too obvious ... Louis Dauger, the Iron Mask, was a golaith.

" *Evil chuckle* ... so the face of the infamous Iron Mask is finally revealed." Lord Arcane stated obviously, his face showing barely any sign of surprise or fright upon this revelation, almost as if he has predicted the outcome. Either that or this man has absolutely no fear to begin with. "And what an interesting reveal it is. Granted, I could have easily removed that helmet off by myself, but there's a certain joy to be had in forcing people to do things that they aren't comfortable into doing otherwise."

"You know why I never left Pandora?! You know why I hide the fact that I was alive to my own family?!" Iron Mask said, his disfigured jaw surprisingly anatomically sufficient to produce audible words that is somewhat lacking with other golaiths. "It is because of this! It's because of what you corporate scums did to me! I never asked for any of this! I joined the Crimson Lance because it was one of the few jobs that pays well enough to put decent food on my family's table! I did what I was asked! I never questioned my orders! I do the dirty work for some rich assholes and they give me enough cash to raise a family! It was a simple arrangement! Well, it was only kept simple up until they fuckin' ABANDONED US!" Iron Mask pushed Lord Arcane so hard that he fell over his chair and onto the ground. Lord Arcane didn't mind the hostility and casually got up, only to continue listen to Iron Mask's intriguing backstory. "So here I was, stuck in this hellhole of a planet with barely any food or supplies to keep myself alive, let alone find a way to get into contact with my family! Those sh*tbags in Atlas probably spitted out some bullsh*t to my family, saying I was killed-in-action or something! Having no other options, I joined up with the Crimson Raiders, hoping to exchange my service for an opportunity to leave this planet somehow! That plan didn't make much progress! It took too long! They keep making promises and fails to deliver! I was agitated! I was impatient! Things didn't work out between us, so I left them! And then I get captured by some of the others assholes at Hyperion thinking I was still associated with the Raiders! They put me through hell through one of them slag experiments, treating me like a f*ckin guinea pig! Too bad for them, those experiments only made me stronger, and so I used that power to slaughter every one of them Hyperion scientists as payback! And now, because of all that, I turned into ... this! I mean just look at me! LOOK AT ME! How am I supposed to see my family looking like this?!"

"That is quite an interesting story you've got there, Mr. Dauger." Lord Arcane spoke calmly before pulling up his chair and sit on it in a rather gentlemanly fashion. "But even more so, it reinforces my suspicions of you being the perfect candidate to cooperate with my goals."

"What do you mean?" Iron Mask asked out of curiosity.

"Well, for one thing, you are a bandit, or ... at least have some bandit-like traits." Lord Arcane explained. "That means you are not afraid to cross the line of morality as long as you get sufficiently compensated. Secondly, you have a large army behind you, much larger than any other bandit encampment I've come across. Not only that, you also got the tactical prowess to reinforce that strength in numbers. But perhaps the most important quality of all is your history with the Crimson Raiders and vault hunters. You know their strengths ... and their weaknesses. All in all, I'd say you're a perfect candidate of cooperation for my soon-coming battle with the Crimson Raiders."

"Grrr, like hell I'll even think of working with you!" Iron Mask ranted angrily. "You come to my base! You murder half of my crew! You threaten my family! And you'd expect me to be working with you?!"

"Well, I suppose everyone needs a bit of motivation in order to accomplish great tasks. Bandit leaders such as yourself are certainly no exception." Lord Arcane said understandably. With a snap of the finger, he telekinetically lifted a metal briefcase on the floor and floated it into his own hands. That was the same metal briefcase that Lord Arcane was carrying while arriving at the bandit camp. "Now before you attempt to assault me in futility yet again, let me show you why that would be a big mistake. And it all has to do with what's inside this briefcase. Please, make yourself comfortable as I show you its contents."

Iron Mask clenched his fists tightly as he glares Lord Arcane with tremendous killer rage. He knows there's no way that he'd be able to take him down due to Lord Arcane's powers. But at the same time, since Lord Arcane continues to let him live instead of easily killing him, he might as well see what Lord Arcane is trying to show him. As he got back to his desk chair, he picked up his metal skull helmet on the floor and wear it back on his head before sitting down. Meanwhile, Lord Arcane also sits himself down on his own chair before placing the briefcase flat down into the desk. He then calmly opens it and first takes out ... a teddy bear. To any regular person, it looks just like a generic teddy bear with indication of being worn down, such as missing eye button and some stitched patches here and there. But the moment Iron Mask laid his eyes upon that teddy bear, he instantly recognizes it ... it was the teddy bear he gave to his daughter.

"Here. Take a closer look at this object of interest, in case you have any more wavering doubts of its authenticity." Lord Arcane said as he hands the teddy bear over to Iron Mask. Iron Mask looks at it with horror as he turns it around only to find that there are blood stains on the back side of the teddy bear. Based on what he have seen, Iron Mask could only assume the worst.

"Where ... did you get this?" Iron Mask initially speak with a low tone before raising his voice a trillion times in volume. "WHERE THE F*CK DID YOU GET THIS?!"

"Hold on just a minute ... I'm not done yet." Lord Arcane suggested before he takes out another item from his briefcase ... a silver-colored sub-machine gun, also lightly stained with blood. It's appearance was also immediately recognizable by Iron Mask on first sight, even though others who are unfamiliar with the gun's history might mistook it as a generic SMG.

Long ago, when Iron Mask was still Louis Dauger, he was fairly concerned with the family's home security, specifically after a run-in with a home burglary. In this day and age where orb shields are becoming more commonplace even among criminals, Dauger feels like a regular pistol simply won't cut it, so he decided to buy his wife a sub-machine gun instead. He is even willing to throw in an extra buck to get one of the highest quality Atlas SMG's in the market. Even though his wife considered it overkill, Dauger ended up feeling a bit more relieved in the inside.

Lord Arcane knows how badly Iron Mask wants a closer examination and promptly hands it over to Iron Mask for a closer look. Once Iron Mask took a closer examination at the gun, he notices one more detail ... there is a ring attached to the trigger guard of the gun. A wedding ring ... belong to his wife.

"Here you go, another artifact of interest, if you will. I'd say the owner of this gun has good taste." Lord Arcane say almost mockingly. "The Atlas 'Silver', one of the finest sub-machine guns in my company's previous product line. A bit excessive for personal home-defense, but if you truly value your life, you gotta have the best weapons to protect it, right? Well ... the thing is ..." Lord Arcane moves his face closer to Iron Mask before speaking softly to him. "It did squat protecting them against me."

Iron Mask has had it with Lord Arcane. He threw aside everything onto the floor, even shoving away the entire desk with his enhanced goliath-strength, and throws a powerful punch at Lord Arcane's face. The fist is halted only an inch away from Lord Arcane before the enigmatic psychic user unleashes his black aura to somersault Iron Mask into the ground. Lord Arcane didn't even have to lift a finger and a enemy twice his size is alright pinned down onto the ground. Iron Mask is now being pressed into the floor so hard, he feels like he's getting crushed by a rakk-hive's foot.

"I'M GOING TO F*CKIN KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?!" Iron Mask ranted with all the rage he can muster.

"Oh please. You don't actually think I'd kill them, did you? Where's the fun in that?" Lord Arcane teased conceitedly. He then whirls his hand around to cause Iron Mask to be lifted up from the floor and slam right into the wall. "I've kept them just barely alive for you to be able to reunite with them once more. After all these years, don't you want to see their faces and embrace them with your strong protective arms?"

"I swear to God, if you hurt them, I'm gonna-" Iron Mask threatened loudly before being cut off.

"You're gonna do what, exactly?" Lord Arcane clarified. After the initial burst of adrenaline had washed away, Iron Mask suddenly realizes his predicament here. This man ... this Lord Arcane ... has kidnapped his wife and child in order to threaten him. He has everything meticulously planned and calculated. If he so much as hurt a hair on Lord Arcane, his family is done for. There is no other way out of it if he wants to keep his family safe. "You do miss them ... do you not?"

Iron Mask has become speechless. He does not want to show weakness, even if he is back to a corner. He will not bend to Lord Arcane's will, because that is exactly what he wants. Lord Arcane took note in the stubborn silence and promptly went to the fallen metal briefcase to take out one final item ... an ECHO-recorder.

"Do you want to listen to their voices? The soft tones of their admiration towards you ... their pleas for help of which you ruthlessly ignore ..." Each word from Lord Arcane adds pressure to Iron Mask's shaken morale, as Lord Arcane waves the ECHO-recorder in front of Iron Mask face. Even being pinned to the wall, Iron Mask remains firm, despite slowly showing hints of weakness. Lord Arcane can feel his opponent's will is at the pinnacle of breaking and decides to turn on the ECHO-recorder with the press of a button.

[... *static* ... Louis ... *static* ... Louis, is that you? ...] The faint voices of an adult woman can be heard from the ECHO-recorder.

" *Gasp* ... Isabelle!" Iron Mask thought to himself frighteningly as he recognizes that voice to belong to his wife. Even after all these years, he could never forget the voice of the woman he once loved deeply.

[... Daddy ... *static* ... help, Daddy ... help us ...] Another sequences of words can be heard. This time coming from a young girl.

"... Mia! ... " Iron Mask almost couldn't hold back his tears. He couldn't bear the pain of finally reuniting with even a glimpse of his family's traces, even in a situation like this.

Lord Arcane turns the ECHO-recorder off. Then, with a snap of his finger, he releases Iron Mask from being pinned to the wall, causing Iron Mask to collapse down and kneel onto the floor as an obvious sign of defeat. There is nothing Iron Mask can do to even touch Lord Arcane. In both physical and psychological sense, Lord Arcane is in complete control.

"If you are truly smart, you shall stay on your knees." Lord Arcane declared majestically. "Stay on the ground, lick the underside of my boots, and BEG for my mercy like the pitiful dog that you are! You ... are BENEATH me! Understood?"

"Please ... PLEASE! Don't hurt them ... I'll do anything you ask! Anything!" Iron Mask pleaded in a defeated pose while besides Lord Arcane's feet like a pathetic skaglickin' midget lover.

"HeheheHAHAHAHAHA...!" Lord Arcane practically has the most evil laugh out of all the villains in history. If there's a contest for who has the best evil laugh out of all the villains, Lord Arcane would win first place. "Oh, don't worry. Once I get what I wanted, you and your family can be reunited once more. And unlike my predecessors, I always look out for those who are of use to me."

" *Sobbing* ... what do you want from me ...?" Iron Mask asked while miserably hiding his crying.

"Well, that is quite simple, really." Lord Arcane said before bending down to approach Iron Mask's face. "I want you ... to eliminate the vault hunters. And help me open the vault."

* * *

Lord Arcane was treading on the sandy terrain of Pandora's desert once more. This time, walking away from the bandit camp of Rust Common's North and into the unknown beyond the dark horizon. Similar to before, on one hand he is holding the metal briefcase and on the other he is holding onto a red apple that he is currently snacking on, occasionally throwing it up in the air in a playful manner. The apple still falls slower than you might expect.

*Crunch* *Munch* *Munch*

Every bite releases a sharp crisp crunching sound.

" *Chuckles* ... Apple, apple, why do you fall? Because of gravity or because of me?" Lord Arcane spoke leisurely to himself as he continues to walk away.

Meanwhile, Iron Mask is still inside his own office, which is now trashed due to the earlier incident. Iron Mask himself is now sitting on the floor, comtempating on the events and the things he must do from then on. One of the bandits came into the office to meet up with Iron Mask.

"Hey, uh boss. You sure you just want to let that jerkbag walk away from all this?" The bandit underling asked.

"You got a problem with that?" Iron Mask replied rhetorically as he got up and glaring his angry eyes at the bandit underling.

"Uh, no boss. I mean, you the boss, so who am I to question?" The bandit confirmed frailly.

"Good. Now, I need you to do something for me." Iron Mask ordered

"Sure boss, what is it?" The bandit obediently replied.

"Contact ... the 'Triple S'. Tell them there's a job for them." Iron Mask said.

"The ... the 'Triple S'!' Boss ... are you sure?" The bandit was already frightened from the mere mention of that name. Whoever or whatever this 'Triple S' is, clearly it should not be trifled with.

"Yeah, I'm sure! Now get on with it!" Iron Mask yelled before kicking the bandit out of the office. For all they know, there is going to be a war coming and they are going to need all the help they can get.

* * *

**Author's Note: "BICYCLE HAMLET SHYLOCK!" Yeah, if you haven't noticed while playing Borderlands 2, there are quite a number of references to Shakespeare, such as psychos yelling "... my pound of flesh!" (possible Merchant of Venice reference, Shylock being a major character in it) and literally reciting from "Hamlet"! The makers of this game are crafty sons of b*tches, aren't they?**

**Also, I consider Lord Arcane's fight with the GOD-liath being one of the most interesting things to write in this fanfic. (You ever fought a GOD-liath? They are tough sons of b*tches.) Sure it was one-sided, but the point of this fight is to demonstrate Lord Arcane's playful attitude towards adversity. He didn't simply kill everyone he sees. He wants to build up his opponents' strength before he utterly demolishes them. He tries to set up the playing field so that you would assume you have the upper-hand, only for him to sucker-punch you into an astonishing defeat, which is detrimental to his opponents' morale. This will be demonstrated on later chapters, of course, so watch out for that.**

**Also, "Only jokers perform magic tricks." An obvious reference to "The Dark Knight", perhaps a bit too touchy of a subject as well, if you know what I mean. So ... too soon?**


	39. The Greed of Gods

**Author's Note: Sorry, guys, for the long delay. But here's it is! I know this chapter seems filler-like, but there are a lot of side-content that needs to be fleshed out in order to give this story more depth, which I think makes an overall better story in my opinion. But don't worry, I'll try to keep the exposition to a minimum so you can go back to enjoying some good old fashion vault hunting action, like killing bad-dudes with guns and lasers and EXPLOSIONS and sh*t! Yes, I mean sh*t, as in your own excrement coming out of your **** and you're gonna have to find a way to kill people with it!**

**Lolz, just kidding. Please don't try to kill people with your own sh*t. Please, God no! Oh God! OH GOD! NOOOOO!**

* * *

Chapter 39: The Greed of Gods

Above Pandora's sky, near the orbit of the moon, there exists a small space station that has recently been built to accommodate the Corporate Vault Hunt as a base of the operations. This is where the CEO's of the corporate board meet up periodically to talk about issues regarding the event. Surely, they can make this more convenient by just having holographic video-conferences like most businesses do nowadays. But for an event as big as the Corporate Vault hunt, which has now gathered a surprisingly enormous view-count and massive revenue, to not arrive at that station in person would simply be an insult. To that particular space station floating freely at Pandora's orbital space, its name reflects on the corporations' unquestionable dedication to profit ... Godsgreed Station.

Inside the station, the interior seems to have a highly sophisticated and futuristic architectural design, with plenty of workers wearing ultra-modern uniforms of various designs to match their job type within the station. In addition, there are also numerous outlets of services to assist with those workers' needs, such as a food court, movie theater, enclosed eco-sustainable gardens, and laundromats with way too many laundry machines.

(Seriously, there's like ten laundry machines for every person working on this station! What's up with this game and its obsession with laundry machines?! Do they not know how to do their laundry and think that adding more laundry machines makes it easier to wash their clothes?! That's not how it works, Gearbox!)

But perhaps the most noticeable feature of this space station is the large number of vending machine for guns scattered all across the stations. (Because this is still the Borderlands universe after all, in which you cannot walk ten feet without accidentally stepping onto a firearm.) However, unlike the gun-dispensing vending machines down on Pandora, which all have Marcus's chubby little face embedded on it, each of these vending machine seems to only sell guns of one particular brand. There's one that only sells Dahl guns, and one that only sells Hyperion guns, and so on. While this seems strange at first, it is only appropriate considering the fact that tensions are high among the different corporations that are pretty much at war with each other at the moment, albeit a cold war indirectly fought within the Corporate Vault Hunt. Within this event, image popularity is everything, so whatever opportunistic advantages they can get out of this, they are going to seize it without hesitation.

By the way, the Torgue vending machine has Mister Torgue's air-guitar solo on a loop, which is TOTALLY AWESOME WITH ALL-CAPS AND EXTRA EXCLAMATION POINTS!

Within this station, there exist a dimly-lit conference room with a large rectangular table at the center. Each seat is taken by one of the seven CEO's whose corporations are involved in the official Corporate Vault Hunt. Judging by the daunting atmosphere in the air, the CEO's are all either very pissed off or very tired and just wanted to take a piss.

" *Clears throat* ... Now, we shall resume to the topic at hand." A man spoke with a stringent voice of high authority. It's a pale-skinned man with a tall lean build. His slicked-back light-blonde hair is shaped so that the hair tips mildly resemble that of small devilish horns. Sporting a black suit with orange pinstripes and an orange tie, this man appears to mean business in the most serious manner possible. If you have played the DLC of the first Borderlands, you'd probably already know who I'm talking about. (If you haven't played the DLC of the first Borderlands ... what the hell are you doing here? Go buy the damn DLC and play it already! No, I don't care if you have to spend a fistful of dollars and several days to complete it! No, I don't even care the checkpoints within the DLC are all messed up and counter-intuitive! I have to played the entire damn thing just to get enough material for this chapter, so you should suffer the same fate that I have! As a hardcore Borderlands fan, I DEMAND IT! MUAHAHAHA ... ! #$% ... sorry, I got sidetracked there.) From very expensive rags to very poor riches, this man is none other than the current head of the Hyperion corporation, Jeffrey Blake. "There are several items on the agenda that we need to discuss. First, the one regarding the patent distribution of the organic-digistruct device we have acquired from this so-called 'Mama Jaws'. Since this is a piece of technology that is invaluable to any number of bio-tech companies out there, we might as well discuss this issue here and now rather than bicker about it later."

**Jeffrey Blake (Hyperion CEO): A long way from Mercenary Relations and Tourism.**

"What's there to talk about?!" Another man spoke up with a thick Western accent while smoking a really big cigar, of which its smoke fills the room with a musky smell. This man could almost be mistaken for a sheriff in the Old Wild West. He's a scruffy brunette-haired Caucasian man with a shorter but more muscular build compared to an average adult male, with moderate signs of a beer belly showing from around his waist. He wears a white ten-gallon hat with a golden sheriff-star attached at the center. If that isn't already cool enough, he also wears aviator sunglasses to cover his otherwise stubborn-as-as-mule gaze. He also wears a red neck-handkerchief, leather-brown vest over a red-black plaid undershirt, dark-brown chaps over dark-blue jeans, and authentic cowboy boots with spurs attached to it, pretty much akin to a good ol' American cowboy. In addition, he has a leather gun-holster attached to his hip, seemingly holding onto a very large magnum six-shooter. Judging from the size of it, it could easily take out a rakk-hive with one shot ... or make Dirty Harry feel inadequate, which is saying something. But perhaps the most noticeable feature to this old buckaroo of a man is ... his mutton chops. By the mother of God, those mutton chops. Those sideburns could make Hugh Jackman's Wolverine squeal like a little girl. That mustache could make Hulk Hogan roar in praise with two thumbs-up. Those GOD-DAMN MUTTON CHOPS ARE SO MANLY, YOU CAN CHOPS TREES WITH THEM! Doesn't make sense? Doesn't have to, as long as YOU GOT THEM MUTTON CHOPS! Those mutton chops belonging to a man none other than the head of the Jakobs corporation, Logan Jakobs. Given how he is also supposed to be Monty's father, I failed to see any similarities between them. Maybe Monty got his modesty from his mother, perhaps. "You can keep your fancy-pancy organo-digistructin' tech to yourselves! We at the Jakobs corporation don't want nothin' to do with them shenanigans, cuz we at the Jakobs corporation ain't into messin with good ol' Mother Nature, ye hear?"

**Logan Jakobs (Jakobs CEO): To kill with bullets, I only need ONE!**

"That is certainly humorous coming from you, Jakobs-dono, given your corporations' reputation of doing just that in the form of excessive hunting and logging practices within Artemis." Another man spoke up in a firm and courteous voice. Contrasting to Logan's ruffian tone, this man has a more refined way of speech. A tall-standing and properly postured man of Asian descent, this man wears frameless glasses while maintaining a serious frown at all times. On his short tailored jet-black hair is a few brushes of greying at the sides, indicating his proximity to old age. Additionally. he wears a sleek and clean suit that is almost entirely dark blue, with lining patterns of white and orange at the edges. Overall, his appearance is so sharp you can probably cut butter with it, though I wouldn't dare to slap butter on this man, as his reserved nature masks a hidden lethality. If you've been paying attention to my previous chapters of this fanfic (Which if you are, thanks by the way. I appreciate the reviews.), you'd probably already know who this man is. The head of the Maliwan corporation. Kazuki's father. Sword-pal of Zer0. Akiyama Kenji.

**Akiyama Kenji (Maliwan CEO): Paint your enemies dead with the color of the elements.**

"I don't wanna hear that from you, Kenji-boy!" Logan lashed out in verbal retaliation. His short-fused temper is further emphasized when he slams his fist on the table with full force as he speaks. "At least I ain't some pansy who'd jump at the chance to acquirin' rights to develop slag weaponry from Hyperion, despite of knowin' full well that Handsome Jack is usin' them funds to slaughter innocents!"

"Hyperion is going to sell their rights to countless other buyers anyway!" Kenji defended in a steadfast manner. "Whether or not our company came in to buy the rights off of them has no effect on those people who were killed in Handsome Jack's admittedly ruthless campaingn on Pandora. Also, as a corporation who prides itself in developing the best and latest in elemental weapons, it would be out-right unthinkable to forego the opportunity to develop this newly discovered slag element for ourselves." Kenji then slightly adjusts his glasses in a cool manner before continue speaking. "And for the last time ... stop referring to me as Kenji-boy! My name is Akiyama Kenji! You can call me Kenji-san, or even just Kenji, if your dialect of speech permits it, but Kenji-boy is at best an insult to my name!"

"I'll call you whatever I gosh darn pleases, Kenji-boy!" Logan snapped back. "You'd be thankful that I don't call you a wet sheepskin over a hot fire, cuz that's a real insult from around my parts!"

"Enough! We're here to discuss matters of business, not personal quarrels! If you guys want to argue about that, do it somewhere else!" Yet another man spoke with a disciplined tone. This man appears more like a military commander than a businessman, as he wears a green military commander uniform and hat, complimented with a staggering set of war medals attached to the unform's chest area. This man with moderately tan skin and pure-grey clean-cut hair has obviously seen war before if his broad-shouldered muscular build, subtle scars at the neck and chin areas, and killer stare are anything to go by. To many who actually know him, he is referred to as a war hero. But as of now, in that conference room, he is simply known as General Alex Miller, CEO of the Dahl corporation.

**General Alex Miller (Dahl CEO): Drop down and give me twenty! No, I didn't say twenty-bucks! Put away your wallet!**

"I don't wanna hear that from you, Miller!" Logan argued, this time focusing on the commander. "I say what I want, when I want it, how it want it, and I don't even care if you're one of the few people in this room who have ever seen warfare upfront! If anyone's got a problem with me, they gonna have to answer to my gun." Logan even patted on his trusty hand-cannon strapped to his hip just to taunt Miller. Miller doesn't seem fazed by Logan's threats, but is still slightly annoyed by it, knowing that dealing with someone like Logan for the rest of the conference would be a task that would test his patience to the limit.

"But Miller's got a point, you know. If we are going to argue about our differences in this boorish mess of a conference, there will be no end to it." Another person with a rather feminine voice spoke up, hinting that it came from a middle-aged woman. From the looks of it, she looks more like a housewife than a typical corporate executive, with a sky-blue apron-dress patterned with white-daisies, a plain-white shirt underneath with rolled-up sleeves, and fashionably red high-heels. With shoulder-length frizzled blonde hair and a peach-tan complexion, despite of appearing seemingly as harmless as any housewife would look, she sports a feisty attitude suitable to tackle head-on with her corporate-mongering peers. All in all, you should never underestimate her, especially if she is also holding onto a rolling pin. (... Wait, she's holding onto a rolling pin? As in, those wooden kitchen tools used to flatten dough? Why in the world is she holding a rolling pin? What is this horribly-written bullsh* #$%&amp; [redacted] ...) Of course almost everyone knows her from those ECHO-net commercials as Mrs. Tediore, but you can just call her Linda Tediore, CEO of the Tediore corporation.

**Mrs. Linda Tediore (Tediore CEO): When the price is right, but the product is so SO wrong (and also ... No refunds.)**

"I ain't lettin myself being outspoken by you either, Linda!" Logan shouted, now turning his head towards Linda.

"Why? Is it because I'm a woman?" Linda snorted, feeling mildly insulted. "Honestly, you old-time folks are all the same, with your conservative hillbilly antics and blantant sexism. Get out of the Old Wild West, old-timer. Keep up with the times."

"I highly doubt that's the case, Tediore-dono." Kenji disputed in place for Logan. "Even though I do not agree with most of Jakobs-dono's ideas, blatant discrimiation is far beneath him. He is just equally hot-headed towards everyone he meets, that's all."

"My oh my~! Aren't you the gentleman, Kenji.~" Linda praised Kenji with a flirtatous tone contrasted from before. "See, Logan. This is how you talk to a lady. You should learn a thing or two from him."

"Shut up, Linda! I don't need advice from you!" Logan scolded while shaking a chenched fist into the air before focusing back to Kenji. "And I do not need YOU to defend for me, Kenji-boy!"

"For the last time, it's-" Kenji tries to correct before being interrupted.

"For the last time, can we get on with the topic of this discussion already! I feel like we're getting nowhere in this conference for the last half-hour!" Another man spoke up with a irritated tone. He's a short grumpy old man with white hair and a equally white beard, both are trimmed to a level of classy perfection which can only be matched by his tan-white suit. For someone who owns a company in which the product line is literally EXPLOSIONS, he seems quite underwhelming. But if he can obtain a high-five from the one-and-only Mister Torgue High-Five Flexington himself, he gets a pass in my book. If you have played the Borderlands DLC "The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler", you'd probably already know who I'm talking about. (And if you haven't, what the f*ck you doing here, you poser?! Go play that frickin' DLC or I'm gonna **** you up you, mother****er! ... ! #$% ... *erhem, sorry, got sidetracked again.) He's the CEO of the Torgue corporation, Anton Smith. "I haven't listened to this much useless bullcrap since I listened to Mister Torgue speak about making a movie about the gritty origin story of Krypto the super-dog. Long story short, he was kind of disappointed about the "Dude of Steel" movie and wanted to do a remake ... using OUR company's funds! Can you believe that guy?!"

**Anton Smith (Torgue CEO): My company's worth twelve dollars and a high-five.**

"Why so impatient? It's not like these business conferences ever resolve anything." Another old man with a thick Russian accent spoke up. While his frame is almost as pencil-thin as his mustache (which I'm pretty sure is drawn on his face with a marker. Seriously, they look more like black-colored toothpicks. You can hardly call that a mustache.), his lackluster impression is moderately compensated by his thick brown-fur coat and dark-gray Russian-style ushanka-hat with a red star at its center. His pale-skinned face looks almost greyish when seen under dim light, which is complimented by his baggy panda-eyes that makes it look like he hasn't slept for days. Of course, only his left eye can be seen because his right eye is covered by a black eye-patch, with hints of burnt scar marks revealed at the edges of the eye-patch to indicate pass injury from around that area. While most may not know him, he is considered just as influential as the rest of the people sitting at this table. He is the CEO of the Vladof corporation, Dmitri Vladof. "They only reveal to us more things that we disliked about each other."

**Dmitri Vladof (Vladof CEO): In Vladof, gun fires YOU!**

"What are you saying, Vladof?" Miller pressed on the subject. "You're saying that negotiation on this conference is pointless and that we should have gone into corporate wars from the start."

"I can assure you, General." Dmitri assured with poise. "If the Vladof corporation were to go into war, even against the all the rest of the corporations in this room combined, you wouldn't stand a chance."

"You wanna count on it, Dmitri-boy?!" Logan dared out loud, feeling that he needs to one-up his competition in a game of threats and bluffs. "You and your cranky rebellion army won't even stand a chance against one of my men holdin' the finest guns ever crafted in this God-forsaken universe! I guarantee I can shoot you right between the eye before you even have the chance to pull out one of them bullet-wasters!"

"Oh please, Logan. Your wooden relics could never compete with the high-quality production standards that defines the modern market nowadays." Linda joined in on the contest of passive-aggressive insults. "When it comes to easy-handling and economic value, Tediore's guns will surely excel any one of your antiques any time."

"And in terms of firepower per bullet, it couldn't even keep up with our Torgue's guns, which literally has more bang per shot!" Anton added with even more aggressive passive-aggressiveness.

"Oh yeah?! Well, I'll have you know that whatever comes out our gun's barrels moves as fast as a speeding bullet, cuz they ARE bullets!" Logan disputed even further with added flare. "With your heavy hunks of scrap metal you call 'guns', I don't even know WHAT comes out of them! I mean, are they supposed to be snot-bubbles, cuz they could barely hit anything faster than a snail on a wheelchair with them slow-ass-heck projectile speeds!"

" *Sigh* I can't believe we're having this conversation again." Kenji muttered under his breath as he pinches the bridge of his nose as an indication to his psychological headache. For as long as he can remember, these conferences between corporations has always been like that, even before the Corporate Vault Hunt was established. It always leads back into a heated debate as to which brand of firearms is better, with a satisfying resolution being nowhere in sight. Seriously, it's like the console wars all over again. As the group of CEO's continues to squabble till the end of time, the background noise is gradually morphing into a loud and scattered collage of noises incoherent to any listener.

"Well, Vladof surely won't last long in any kind of fight with them death-blossom spray-and-pray-ers! They might as well need an extra bucket of bullets just to manage to hit one guy!" Logan continues his string of taunting insults. "Speaking of which, I don't think your company as a whole will last much longer! Didn't I hear your brother Mikhail is gonna kick the bucket soon?!"

With that comment, the room suddenly went silent. It is true that the previous head of the Vladof corporation and also Dmitri's older brother, Mikhail Vladof, has been encumbered with old age and poor health for a while now, leading to the conclusion that he is going to pass away soon. However, for Logan to say it out loud ... that's just being way too insensitive in Logan's part, for it causes Dmitri to become incredibly pissed off. Not even the bravest men would dare bring out a touchy subject right in front of Dmitri if they have even the slightest idea of what's going on. Therefore, it's even more shocking to see Logan using this against Dmitri just to make him tick.

"Be careful of what you say, Jakobs." Dmitri growled spitefully towards Logan, with his tired baggy eyes now filled with vital rage. "Be VERY careful."

"I ain't much a person who hold back my words, Dmitri." Logan replied with unhindered spirit. "Like I say before, I say what I want, when I want it."

"Hmph. In that case, I shall make an honest remark of my own, if you don't mind." Dmitri excused himself with a sudden devilish smile, aiming to fight psychology with psychology in this type of warfare. "At least my brother lasted longer than your wife did."

That completely pushed Logan to the edge, shifting him from a simple hot-headed cowboy to a blood-boiling gunslinging killer. The topic of Logan's dead wife was an even more sensitive subject, to the point where everyone was sure that Logan would definitely pull out his gun and end it all right about now. Linda even let out a quiet gasp of genuine shock in response to the increased drama.

"What ... did you just say ... about my wife ... you son of a whore?" Logan snarled like a bloodthirsty animal as he clutches onto the gun on his hips with a tight grip, readying for an inevitable showdown.

"Living at such an old age must have affected your hearing, so I'll say it again." Dmitri daringly teased. "At least my brother lasted longer than your-"

Logan didn't let him finish. In second-splitting moment, both Logan and Dmitri pulled out a gun at the same time, with Dmitri using a Vladof-brand machine-pistol while Logan is going with his trusty Jakobs hand-crafted hand-cannon in his holster. Dmitri's gun-handling skills may be proficient by his own right, but he can hardly match the beer-belly gunslinger, whose gun-hand is so lethally fast it could probably grease lightning like it greases bacon. (Mmm ... bacon~. Sorry, I was kinda hungry when I typed this.) Because of the sheer gap in raw speed, Logan is able to easily shoot Dmitri's gun out of his hand, with the shockwave of the bullet impact absorbed through Dmitri's arm and causing his hand to flinch and tremble. Despite of being seemingly defeated at first, Dmitri maintains a steadfast glare at Logan.

"Looks like you just ain't quick enough, now are ya, Dmitri-boy." Logan blustered as he maintains to point his revolver towards Dmitri. "Where's all your gung-ho cockery gone to now, huh?! That's what you get for insultin' my wife! No one, and I mean NO ONE bad-mouths anyone in my family and gets away with it ALIVE!"

Logan then cocks the hammer of his gun with his thumb as a indication of him readying his next shot. This slight action is enough to send shivers down the spines of everyone who was around to witness this moment, for it could represent an approaching act of impulsive manslaughter. However, before Logan is able to pull the trigger, there's a sudden flash of electricity appearing seemingly out of nowhere within the conference room, briefly stunning Logan and knocking away his revolver onto the ground. Once everyone has gotten their grasp at what is going on, they finally saw what occurred. Kenji had suddenly and swiftly pulled out a stylized Japanese short-sword, of which the mystical electric aura surrounding the blade is the source of that brief flash of electricity. If you have read one of my previous chapters, you might already have some idea as to the name of that sword ... the Hana-Kodachi. Kenji has disarmed Logan in order to prevent the violence from continuing further, and that sword strike is so impressively fast and precise, it could almost rival Logan's quickdraw in terms of skill.

"Cease this nonsense immediately, Logan-dono." Kenji warned Logan as he points his sword towards the disarmed cowboy from across the table. "Otherwise, I will not hesitate to use my blade if it means keeping the peace within this conference." With that, Kenji proceed to slowly withdraw his sword into his sheath. "Also, on a side note, smoking is bad for your health. You should probably cut back on it." By the time Kenji has fully clipped his sword back onto his sheath, Logan suddenly realizes that the cigar that is clenched in his teeth is partially sliced-off and that the remaining cigar's cross-section is now tainted with hints of caustic acid, making it unsmokable. This is likely the result of Kenji's multi-elemental slash from before, and this act of utter coolness has even impressed Logan enough for him to be temporarily tamed.

"Pfft, show-off." Logan grunted after he promptly spits out his destroyed cigar-bit and takes out another fresh cigar to smoke, of which he lights it with his expensive-looking gold-plated lighter.

"Hey, speak for yourself, Logan!" Linda complained after breaking a cold sweat from all this intense action that she is likely not accustomed to. "Pulling out a gun like that and going guns-blazing in the middle of a conference! That's incredibly dangerous and irresponsible, you know! If this is how you handle a conference, I am seriously questioning how you handle all your other business negotiations." Linda then switches to a slightly sweeter tone when she speaks the next part, added with a complementary pat on Kenji's back. "Good thing Kenji-san is here to calm the tides. Otherwise, it could turn into a real bloodbath. Isn't that right, Kenji-san?~"

But before anyone is able to continue the conference any further, there is a loud boom that can be heard from the other side of the door of the conference room, which shook the entire floor itself. Everyone was suddenly alerted as after a second loud boom, the door was busted open and black smoke is rushing into the room.

"What the hell?!" Anton exclaimed in shock as he is coughing in response to the smoke.

"Was there a security breach?! We need to call for reinforcements!" Miller added in a rather coordinated tone.

"Try not panic, everyone. Let's see who it is first." Blake suggested, trying to reorganize everyone before they start jumping into conclusions.

Once the smoke clears, it reveals to be a certain man holding onto a multi-barrel rocket launcher easily with one hand. A man who is equally as tall as he is burly. A man who's top half is basically shirtless, revealing his awesome pecs and abs that the dude has probably worked very hard for. A man with such a glorious mustache (MUSTACHE! #$%!) that it alone contains more manliness than a hundred bro-dudes. But perhaps the most important of it all, it's a man wearing a red bandanna to hold back his long wavy brunette hair. If you aren't retarded (And you most likely aren't, but if you are ... sorry, no offense, it's just a figure of speech, please don't dislike me!), you probably already know who I'm talking about, don't you?

"This door couldn't withstand the all-mighty power of my rocket's explosions!" The man yelled loudly while demonstrating exaggerated hand-gestures after he threw his rocket launcher to the ground in frustration. "Someone get me the one who built that stupid door so I could beat the crap out of him, and have a beer with him, and demand that he rebuild that door so it could withstand explosions better, and launch him out of a cannon, and give him a manly bro-fist! NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER!"

"Mister ... Torgue?" Anton uttered, jaw-dropped in disbelief.

"YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, SMITHY!" Mister Torgue proclaimed loudly before flexing a pose to emphasize his already tight-as-hell muscles.

**MISTER TORGUE! : Question: Explosions? ... Answer: EXPLOSIONS!**

"So he's the mascot of the Torgue corporation, huh?" Linda commented off-handedly. "Gotta say, he knows how to make an entrance. At least he makes meetings like this more lively than you do, Smith."

"Grrr ..." Anton growled while leering at Linda before returning his focus to Mister Torgue with an irritated gaze. "Mister Torgue, what are you doing here?!"

"What am I doing here?! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!" Mister Torgue answered back extra-rhetorically as he steps forward. "This is a meeting joined by some of the most business-y business people in the whole GODDAMN UNIVERSE! And they are here talking about a butt-load of serious sh*t, most likely involving the CORPORATE VAULT HUNT! OF COURSE I need to be here! But more importantly, I'm here because I heard Sanctuary is being EXPLODED into bits by this new kid in town called Atlas! Well, Atlas is not really that new since they have been on Pandora before YOU GET MY POINT! As a pal of Lilith and her gang of vault hunting badasses and an EXTREME enthusiast of EXPLOSIONS, that is UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE! Explosions are supposed to help people and inspire them to do greatness, not kill people! What the hell is wrong with people using EXPLOSIONS to kill people?! That is just wrong on SO MANY LEVELS!"

"You seem particularly concerned with Sanctuary and the Crimson Raiders." Miller asked with intrigue. "You claim to have a mutual relationship with them. Care to elaborate?"

"Oh yeah, Mister Torgue and the Crimson Raiders' vault hunters kinda became friends during our company's stay on Pandora to build a fighting arena a couple months back." Anton explained. "In fact, they have became such close friends that they have the nerve to team up and ruin my planned event on the Wattle Gobbler. I will never forget that day ..."

"Oh my God! I remember now! I've watched the Wattle Gobbler event! It was absolutely hilarious! Hahahaha ..." Linda laughed with amazement. "Honestly, it's so much better than the usual content being produced by Torgue way back when it still makes guns with non-explosive ammunition."

"I appreciate your constructive criticism, LADY!" Mister Torgue thanked Linda with a genuine shiny smile. "Anyway, I'm here because I'm pissed off about Sanctuary being completely defenseless while all of you corporate pansies are here drinking your wine and smoking your cigars while doing nothing about it! I suggest that we do something about it!"

"What do you suggest we do, Mister Torgue?" Blake asked politely.

"Well, isn't it obvious?!" Mister Torgue questioned rhetorically, almost acting like the answer should have been obvious. "With Atlas coming in hot to tear up Sanctuary's ass, Lilith and the others are gonna need a lot of extra protection and firepower! We're talking mortars and turrets and shields and DOORS THAT COULD DEFINITELY WITHSTAND ROCKET EXPLOSIONS, UNLIKE THE ONE I JUST TOTALLY BLEW UP!"

"Hmm, I don't know. That sounds like a lot of funding that someone's gonna have to fork up." Linda considered while rubbing her chin.

"Absolutely not, Torgue!" Anton outbursts in response to this apparent blasphemy. "This isn't a conference you should be here for to begin with! You have interrupted our meeting, spew out nonsense, and most importantly caused incalculable damage to our property! Do you have any idea how much those repairs are going to cost?! I'll have you escorted out of this room this instant!"

"Now now, let's not be hasty here, Mr. Smith." Blake suggested. "Clearly, Mister Torgue has some point to be made here. Since we were just about to dive into that topic, we might as well allow him to stay to further contribute to our discussion."

"What?! You are mad, Blake! MAD, I tell you!" Anton ranted with hands flailing in the air like he just don't care. "Mister Torgue is clearly insane! Furthermore, he has no authority to be in this conference! He's just a figurehead to our corporation and has no decision-making power whatsoever!"

"Well, he's certainly a lot less obnoxiously boring than you are, Anton." Linda complained as she rolls his eyes. "That's always a plus in my book. I'd say we let him stay. What do you gentlemen think?"

"He replaces words with action, and replaces action with even bolder action." Logan said before revealing an impressed smile. "I like him already."

"I was already insistent on the topic of Sanctuary's defense." Miller added sternly. "Since Mister Torgue here has some previous personal affiliations with the Crimson Raiders, he might be helpful in providing us with a fresh new perspective."

"I agree with the General. Out of all this time discussing, we still haven't talked about the safety of our essential benefactor, which is the Crimson Raider's home base." Kenji added in a logical manner. "This issue has been beaten around the bush for too long. Surely it might not be a major concern to most of you, but if the Crimson Raiders and the corporate vault hunters are going to be working together, then the safety of Sanctuary equates to the safety of the corporate vault hunters, and I will not permit the possibility of any of the candidates of this event be in grave danger."

"Pfft, let's face, it Kenji." Linda deciphered with a sly smile. "All you are worried about is your own daughter's safety while she's out there risking her life to hunt down the vault for you. Well, at least you are a more concerning parent than our grumpy old cowboy here."

"Shut it, Linda!" Logan snapped out loud.

"You say what you want, I say what I want." Linda countered with fiendish finesse. "So, let's take a tally, shall we? In agreement are the old grumpy cowboy, the proud commander, the handsome elemental swordsman, and the oh-so-lovely yours truly. 4 out of 7 for 'yes', I'd say we let him stay."

"This isn't a democracy, Linda!" Anton argued angrily. "This is a matter relating to the Torgue corporation, so stay out of our business!"

"You wrong about that, Mr. Smith." Blake added calmly. "This is a matter relating to the Corporate Vault Hunt, in which the collective opinion matters more than the individual, so we have every right to incur Mister Torgue's opinion. I'm sure that with the majority of the corporate board backing up to a certain decision, you don't want to be the isolated minority, do you?" Anton gritted his teeth in frustration, but had no choice but to submit. Mister Torgue is here to stay.

"ALLLLLRIGHT! I get to join the club with the big kids now!" Mister Torgue roared high-spiritedly. "This is so COOL AND AWESOME, it deserves its own AIR GUITAR SOLO! MEOEOEOEOEOW!" Mister Torgue proceed to leap on top of the large conference table and perform a sick-as-heck air guitar solo, with head-banging and floor-stomping and all that jazz. After that, he got down from the table and proceed to take a seat next to Anton Smith. "Thank you, everybody! WOOH!"

"Lovely ..." Blake commented with hidden sarcasm towards Mister Torgue's awesome performance. "Anyway, regarding to the admittedly massive undertaking ... there will be the issue in regards to funding."

"NO PROBLEMO! AMIGO!" Mister Torgue suggested boldly. "I'll fund the entire goddamn project with my own money!"

"Last time I checked, Torgue, you only got 12 dollars in your bank account." Anton reminded Mister Torgue with a sneer. "The same 12 dollars I gave you to buy the company with!"

"Oh ... well, in that case, I'll use funds from the Torgue corporation!" Mister Torgue suggested with a care-free attitude.

"Absolutely not!" Anton declined strongly. "Those funds belong to the Torgue corporation, and as the official chief executive of this company I reject your plans to fund this insane project! There's no way in hell I'm going to let you take funds out of the company to build mortars and shields onto a goddamn flying city!"

"Aww cmon, Smithy, buddy! We're buddies aren't we?!'" Mister Torgue yelled, trying to wrap his arm around Anton's shoulders.

"No we're not! Stop pestering me with your silly ideas!" Anton scolded as he shrugs away Mister Torgue's friendly gesture.

"Well, in that case, I'm out of ideas ... unless any one of you corporations are willing to pool in money for this!" Mister Torgue reconsidered. "Pretty please, with explosive cherry bombs on top?!"

"Hmm, I'm not so sure about that." Blake considered with high skepticism. "Allying with Sanctuary is one thing, but to contribute such tremendous amount of resources to protect it ... seems like too much of a risky investment."

"If it's funding you are looking for, you can count me in." Miller agreed without hesitation. "The Dahl corporation alone could sufficiently subsidize this entire operation."

"Oh really?" Blake said with mild astonishment. "I'm surprised that you care that much about the well-being of Sanctuary."

"It's more of a strategic decision. You cannot win a war with weak fortification." Miller explained. "From what I can tell, Atlas is being both very aggressive and manipulative in its deployment of troops, all just to get the vault hunters to hand over the vault key. There's no telling when they are going to come after Sanctuary again to leverage with vault hunters, which could potentially have a negative impact on our corporate vault hunters from doing their job. If they do launch an assault again, we'll definitely be prepared this time around, and I am willing to sacrifice a tree to save a forest."

"Yeah, but, hmm ... I dunno." Linda questioned with intense doubt. "Fortifying a city as big as Sanctuary still isn't cheap, you know. Is it really worth it?"

"Ooh? You're hesitatin' already, Linda." Logan pestered. "You are so gosh darn cocky a while ago and now you're plannin' on backin' out! Well, I shouldn't have expected anythin' more from a cheapsake housewife like you, always tryin' to save every penny!"

"Hey I'm just considering the worthiness of the investment like any competent businessman, that's all!" Linda clarified defensively. "I'm not like you, who got the company handed to you from birth. I gotta work my company from the bottom up, and every penny counts, you know! I mean, the Crimson Raiders are infamous for taking down Handsome Jack himself! I'm pretty sure that even without our help, they can get by just fine."

"Count me in on the funding." Kenji agreed with firm resolve.

"Wait, what?! Kenji ... you're agreeing to this?!" Linda exclaimed, bewildered at Kenji's choice.

"In a situation like this, it is better to be safe than sorry." Kenji reasoned. "And no price is too high if it means keeping my daughter safe."

"Pfft, you sure are soft on your kid, Kenji-boy." Logan remarked with hidden criticism. "As perhaps the only two people in this room who's candidate is their very own flesh-and-blood, let me give you a lil' advice. If you ain't confident enough that your kid can handle the the fight, might as well not let her join it in the first place. I sent out my boy on this hunt because I knew he can take the punishment and get out of this alive. But you just like holdin' your girl's hands no matter where she goes, don't ya? Sooner or later, this babyin' is only gonna hurt her in the long-run."

"How I care for the safety of my daughter is none of your concern, Jakobs-dono." Kenji snapped back firmly. "If you wish to exchange ideas in parenting, then I suggest you be less harsh on your own son or you might lose him sooner than you think."

"Hmph." Logan simply shrugs it off, thinking that he'd rather not dive too deep in a personal matter during a business conference. "Well, I guess different corporations have different standards, I suppose."

"I shall pool in resources as well." Dmitri added. "But if I may suggest, base fortifications may not be enough. I suggest we send in additional troopers in the form of both infiltration teams as well as garrison infantryman, both to give support to Sanctuary's defense and to strike Atlas directly and covertly."

"What? You too, Dmitri?" Linda noted with surprise.

"I do agree somewhat with Miller's philosophy." Dmitri explained. "As they say, 'Cowards do not win wars.' It cannot be more true with the situation we are in. Atlas has the audacity to come after our allies. We must fight with greater proactiveness if we were to ever succeed in this fight. You should know, Jakobs. Since you are anything but a coward."

"What was that?! You tryin' to dare me to follow up with the poolin'?!" Logan leered at Dmitri with angry eyes. "Well, I'll be damned if I'm not gettin' in on this! I'm poolin' in as well!"

"Wow, all of you are very enthusiastic in giving money away willy-nilly." Linda remarked with low confidence. "Honestly, I'm feeling kinda left out right now ..."

"I'm pooling in resources from the Hyperion corporation as well." Blake said with a determined voice.

"Wait, Blake?! You too!" Linda stated shockingly "I always thought you're more of a calculative type."

"But I am being calculative." Blake explained. "Think about it. During this vault hunt, Sanctuary is most likely going to take center-stage to the viewers, and anyone who has invested in the fortification of Sanctuary will also share that spotlight as well, while those who don't will most likely suffer in terms of popularity within the event. Think of the promotional value of supporting Sanctuary. It's basically another form of commercial marketing."

"Huh ... didn't think of it like that." Linda reconsidered. "You sure are the real money-maker, Blake. I'm impressed."

"This isn't an advertisement campaign, Blake." Miller criticized. "We're here to fight a war, not to make a quick and pitiful buck."

"You've seem to be forgetting something, General." Blake reminded. "I am, first and foremost, a businessman. I have a corporation to run. And so do you. So does every one of us in this room. And a corporation's ultimate purpose by principle is to make money. Feel free to look at it however you like, but my intentions won't affect the end results, that of which being better protection for Sanctuary against Atlas."

Most of the people in this room feel slightly uneasy at Blake's unhindered dedication to his greed, but they mostly remain quiet about it, for being of similar careers means that they could understand at least part of Blake's motivation.

"ALLLLLRIGHT!" Mister Torgue hooray-ed with both of his thumbs-up pointed straight to the sky. "Looks like more and more corporations are in it for 'Operation: Protect Sanctuary's sweet-ass!' Therefore, it would definitely seem inappropriate for you to not invest in this as well, Smithy, my buddy!"

"Shut it, Torgue! I still won't agree to it!" Anton remained determined not to contribute. "This is clearly an absurd use of funds, and I don't care if other corporations are willing to do it! I won't agree to it and my decision is final!"

"Oh c'mon, Smithy! Please! Pretty please!" Mister Torgue pleaded with great effort.

"No!" Anton remained rigid in his stance.

"Pretty pretty please! With EXPLOSIONS!" Mister Torgue pleaded with even greater effort.

"The answer is still NO, and I don't care how many explosions you add to it!" Anton yelled.

"Pretty pretty pretty please! With EXPLOOOOOOOOOO-" Mister Torgue continues to plead over Anton's rejection.

"Goddamn it, Torgue! Shut the hell up!" Anton complained as he covers his ear in irritation to Mister Torgue almost childish bargain. "It doesn't matter how loud you yell, you're not gonna change my mind! Period!"

"-OOOOOOSIONS!" Mister Torgue ended, seemingly out of options. " *Sigh* Well, in that case, I have to use my last resort!"

"Wait, what do you mean 'last resort'? What are you-" Anton was interrupted when Mister Torgue wraps both of his thick muscular arms around Anton's waist in order to lift him up. "Torgue?! TORGUE?! What are you doing?! Put me down!"

"Super-awesome-fantastic-ultra-mega-champion-extreme-EXPLOSIVE PILEDRIVER!" Mister Torgue introduced his technique out loud before performing a ground-shaking piledriver on Anton.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Anton yelled in futility as his entire body is being grappled and slammed head-first right into the ground at great force.

*WHAM*

After the impact, Anton is now currently unconscious on the ground, with a large bleeding bump on his head resulting from Mister Torgue's brutal wrestling move. Of all the other CEO's that are watching, none of them could decide whether to be amazed, impressed, or downright horrified.

"Uhhh ... that's a bit extreme, isn't it?" Linda spoke with concern while poking at Anton's knocked-out body with her rolling pin to make sure he's not dead. Anton could only let out a light grunt to indicate that he is still alive, while barely able to do much else as he lies on the ground.

"Hahaha, you should meet my god-son! Nothing is too extreme for him!" Mister Torgue commented loudly before taking Anton's seat. "Oh, he'll be alright! We do things like this all the time! In fact, there was this time when I once piledrived him out the window from the 100th floor of a skyscraper, and he still survived that! Sure, he may have broken all of his bones in his body, but that still counts as ALIVE! Anyway, since he's down and out, I'll be the one filling him in, and I say we fund the ever-loving sh*t out of this project! WOOH!" Mister Torgue then celebrated by pumping both fists into the air with over-the-top excitement.

"Well, that's one way to shut him up." Logan commented nonchalantly, clearly moderately impressed by the move as he adjusts his cowboy hat. "I never liked the way that guy talked anyway."

"Right ... now that we have all agreed on the arrangements-" Blake continued with the conference.

"Hang on, Blake. There's still one more that hasn't made the decision yet." Dmitri pointed out. Everyone in the room now redirects their attention towards Linda, who is the only one in the group that has yet to decide whether to fund the project or not. Linda can already sense the added amount of pressure surrounding her in regards to this decision and is admittedly feeling a bit nervous right now.

"Geez, why do I have to be the only oddball out! Like I have a choice now?" Linda complained with an angry pout, feeling like her choice was already being made for her. "Fine, just count me in or whatever, but just make sure to keep the cost at a bare minimum, alright?! The last thing anyone of us needs is corporate overspending. God, this is what I get for being the only successful woman in this room."

"ALLLLLRIGHT! Thank you for joining the club, Mrs. Tediore!" Mister Torgue thanked excitedly as he grabs Linda's hand just to shake it vigorously as a sign of gratitude. "The Crimson Raiders would greatly appreciate your contribution as well! As a sign of appreciation, I'll treat you with lunch!"

"We already ate lunch, Mister Torgue, and it's too early for supper." Linda noted with a low-brow and a tired voice.

"Well, in that case, how about a nice early supper snack!" Mister Torgue recommended loudly. "I found a place on this station that actually serve some nice nachos!"

"Thanks dear, but I prefer pastries." Linda replied in a cool manner while she rests her rolling pin on her shoulder and brushes her hair with one hand.

" *Clears throat* Now that we are in agreement with the subject of funding, let's continue to discuss the details of it." Blake said in an attempt to keep the discussion on track.

The meeting continues from that. Mostly, it's just miscellaneous stuff and Anton being escorted out of the room with a stretcher (Cause of Injury: MISTER TORGUE BEING WAY TOO AWESOME!). After all is said and done, everyone left that room feeling more or less content that a chunk of their list of countless corporate-related issues has finally been resolved at the moment.

* * *

Jeffery Blake is now alone at a dark and isolated location within this station, looking out to the vastness of space through the massive space-station window-wall. From where he's standing, he can see Pandora from a low-orbit planetary view. After a brief moment of silent glamour of this rare but peaceful sight, he then double-checked his surroundings just to make surely he is truly alone before taking out his ECHO-device to make a brief call.

"Hello, my lord." Blake talked into the ECHO-device. "... Well, I wouldn't call you if it isn't important ... If you are going to rely on me as your mole within this Corporate Vault Hunt, you've got to have more trust in me ... yes, I'm sorry, my lord, where are my manners ... yes, ass I was saying, my lord, it is about Sanctuary ... I'm afraid that there may be some complications to our plan."

* * *

**Author's Note: OH YEAH! Mister Torgue is back! And he's got some major ass-kicking to do! Look forward to seeing him in later chapters, you lovely motherf*ckers!**

**Also, if you haven't already noticed, Blake is obviously the mole that Lord Arcane has talked about in one of the previous chapters. Honestly, it should be that much of a surprise to anyone at this point. Blake has always been a shady character to begin with. But, unlike Handsome Jack, he does things way more subtly.**

**Also, you may be asking: "What's up with Linda and her rolling pin?" No idea *shrugs*. Maybe she likes baking bread on-the-go. Maybe it's just a fashion accessory. Maybe it's actually an effective killing weapon disguised as a rolling pin. Who knows? Anyway, to give credit where credit's due, I sorta got that rolling pin idea from "Fallout: New Vegas". Look up "Maud's Muggers".**


	40. Stowaways and Baggages

**Author's Note:** What's up, my fellow readers? Another day, another chapter. Or rather ... another month-and-a-half, another chapter. Sorry about the long delay, but I have a good reason for it ... actually, no, I kinda don't. So ... uh, anyway ... here's another chapter! *perform distracting jazz-hands*

Also, something to point out in one of your comments, the one regarding sketches and concept art for my OC's. First of all, I couldn't draw sh*t to save my life. But if any one of you out there knows anyone who's a decent artist, feel free to send me their names and maybe I might contact them in regard to making some concept art for you guys.

* * *

Chapter 40: Stowaways and Baggages

Back on board the Blue Moby, everyone is basically chilling at their own style while the ship is headed towards the Crimson Knight's base. Despite of the rather relaxing atmosphere, every second grows a bit more tense as the corporate vault hunters know very little about their adversary and is anticipating for anything to happen. However, some other people on the ship are apparently less concerned about this predicament.

[Ooh ... ow ... argh! ... *rewinding sound* ... Ooh ... ow ... argh! ] A video clip is being played in a loop on the screen of a laptop at this moment, of which a certain female reporter is watching with cackling delight. It was part of the pre-recorded footage of the events in the Corporate Vault Hunt, specifically the part where K.C. gets his muscular glutes handed to him by Selena while they were figthing in front of Roland's monument. (Reminder: Chapter 24) Normally, watching this video clip would have made anyone cringe, especially if they even remotely sympathize with K.C.. But for the one person who is currently working on the footage right now, it only provided her with valuable slapstick-comedic enjoyment.

"Ahahahehe ... Oh, I never get tired of watching this." Xiao Lan laughed until her sides hurt, as she is the female reporter I was talking about, obviously. "If only I could edit an abridged version of it with funny sound effects, I would get tons of likes on my ECHO-cast account."

Currently in the meeting room section of the Blue Moby, there are several people inside. The camera crew Patrick, Xiao Lan, the cameraman, and Camtrap are all seated in a row on one side of the large rectangular table at the center, accompanied by various computer devices and papers spread out all across the table. From the looks of it, it seems like Patrick and Xiao Lan are working on editing the Corporate Vault Hunt's recorded footage. Patrick is seated near the corner of the table, calmly sipping his mug of black coffee while working attentively on the editing. Xiao Lan, the less hard-working and more playful of the duo, is seated beside Patrick. Right next to Xiao Lan but further away from Patrick is the cameraman, who is doing some maintenance work on his recording equipment. Camtrap, who is loyally by her master side, is assisting in the cameraman's work. Aside from that, there is also Brandon, who is sitting directly opposite of the table from Xiao Lan and relaxingly reading a newspaper. (Wait, newspapers? Who reads newspapers anymore? Everyone practically get their news on the ECHO-net. Can you believe this guy?) Right besides Brandon is Mama Jaws, who is sitting on the floor and seemingly tinkering on some sort of metallic device, with various mechanical and electronic scraps scattered around the female bandit mechanic.

"Stay on task, Miss Chen." Patrick urged his foolhardy co-worker. "We're supposed to be working on getting the editing done for the next episode, and we're already behind schedule. The rising popularity of this show has inadvertently caused the corporate board to push us in delivering these episodes at a faster rate than usual. God know what will happen if people don't get their favorite ECHO-net show episodes on time. They'll probably ... I don't know ... eat their children, or watch 'Keeping Up with the Khardashians', both of which are equally terrible."

"Geez, Mr. Anderson, you are such a spoilsport." Xiao Lan complained playfully. "Fine then, I'll continue working on my part of the footage if it pleases you- WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?!" Suddenly, Xiao Lan erupted out of nowhere, breaking the peacefulness of the moment.

"Calm down, Miss Chen. What seems to be the problem?" Patrick got spooked a little and almost spilled his coffee when Xiao Lan figuratively blew up in front of him.

"This! THIS!" Xiao Lan yelled with bloodshot eyes as she picks up her own laptop and presses a button on it to show Patrick a segment of the un-edited footage recorded from this morning of the Corporate Vault Hunt's broadcast. Specifically, the segment in which Xiao Lan is half-asleep, dressed in pajamas, cuddling an anime body pillow with a non-disclosed anime character on it, and spewing out some nonsense in Mandarin Chinese. "Why in the EVER-LOVING F*CK is THIS recorded into the FOOTAGE?! Who's idea is it to record THIS?!"

"Oh ... that?" Patrick broke a drop of fear-sweat, hiding his nervous tremble in behind his otherwise deep manly voice. The rage Xiao Lan is feeling right now is an indication that she could tear a full-grown bullymong in half if her motivation suits it. Patrick knew that someone has to take the fall ... so it might as well not be him. "It was ... the cameraman's idea. He said it would make for a more-interesting episode."

"Wait, WHAT?! I didn't say that!" The cameraman turns around suddenly to face the two reporters in respose to Patrick's false accusations. "It was your idea that-"

"RRROOOAAARRR!" Xiao Lan grabs the cameraman by the shirt collar and ferociously shakes him back-and-forth to express her rage. "How dare you?! HOW F*CKIN' DARE YOU?!" Xiao Lan's speed of talking then ramps up by a staggering rate, letting out a flurry of words in a nearly incoherent way. "Do you have any idea how excrutiatingly embarrasing it is if this footage gets out onto the ECHO-net?! Do you know what that would do to my reputation as a reporter?! Or as a woman in general?! Within days, no MINUTES, this footage will go viral within the depths of the rapidly expanding, meme-spewing, troll-harbinging ECHO-net and spread like an STD in a college dorm! I'll be an utter laughing stock to the entire ECHO-net community!" Xiao Lan then does a total 180 and goes from passionately angry to mockingly melodramatic in an instant, as she now kneels down and act like she's crying, with crocodile tears that probably came from a real crocodile. (Don't ask how she got them) Even her tone of voice has shifted into that of garnering sympathy. "And worst of all ... *sniff* ... I might never get married. No one would want to marry a woman with a horrbily addicting guilty pleasure of collecting anime pillows of sexy two-dimensional fictional characters. I feel tainted ... sullied ... disgraced ... *sniff* ..."

"Oh come on, sis. You're being overly dramatic." Brandon pointed out nonchalantly as he relaxingly turns a page of his newpaper, with eyes barely even looking at the direction of Xiao Lan. "You are already a cold-hearted old hag that no one in their right mind is going to marry anyway. Leaking this footage isn't going to affect your chances."

Xiao Lan them does another emotional 180 and goes from her Oscar-worthy melodramatic performance to full on 'Xiao Lan Beast Mode'. Her eyes bursts into metaphorical flames and her movements are blindingly quick as she apporaches her brother Brandon, snatches the newspaper from his hands, rolls it up into the shape of a baton, and repeatedly smack Brandon in the face at a rate of a gazillion times per second.

*Smack*Smack*Smack*Smack*Smack* ... (a gazillion times ... per SECOND!)

The sounds of Xiao Lan's newpaper-roll budgeoning attacks are so terrifying, they are comparable to machine-gun fire. I don't care who you are, if you get hit by that chain of attacks, your face is gonna have a bad day.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU, BRANDON! RRROOOAAARRR!" Xiao Lan raged onwards as she continues the sister-to-brother comical abuse.

While all this arguing and newspaper-roll face-smacking is going on, Camtrap caught a glance of Mama Jaws mechanical work and got curious. This tempted the innocent little robot to move towards the female bandit in order to figure out what she is working on.

"Umm ... excuse me, Miss Mama Jaws." Camtrap inquired with her cutsey robotic voice. "What is it that you are making?"

"Oh hey there, lil' pink rust-bucket. Boy, oh boy, you wouldn't BELIEVE what I had come up with." Mama Jaws replied with gleeful excitement as she puts down her tools and picks ups the mechanical device. From the looks of it, it looks like a tangled ball of serrated blades made with rusted metal. It's small and round like a baseball, but at the same time does not appear to be something you'd want people to throw at you. "It's a lil' prototype I've been workin' on for a while. A rollin' ball of death by jagged-toothed blades of sharpened metal. This lil' skaglicker's gonna seek out them other skaglickers who gets in my way, tackles them, and rips them to shreds like a hungry skag in matin' season. This lil' thing's gonna chew off limbs, tear off heads, and rip off d*cks. I call it ... the shredda gurnade." Mama Jaws then presses a button on the device in order to activate it. Once it is activated, the ball of serrated metal blades expands into an even larger ball of serrated metal blades, albiet with blades connected by circular metal frames and rotating around a concentric center in a gyroscipic fashion. (If you have a hard time imaging it, think a gyroscope, but with metal blades attached to them.) At the center of the device, there seems to be a glowing-red robotic eye that is used for navigation and enemy detection. In addition, this device seems to also have hovering capabilities, making it even more dangerous to those who fight against it.

"Wow ... cool!~" Camtrap's robotic eye sparkle with wonder as she carefully observes the intricate details of this device's craftsmanship. Camtrap's entusiasm could only be matched with that of a kid going into a candy store for the first time. "But ... isn't it supposed to be spelled 'shredder grenade' instead of 'shredda gurnade' ?"

"B*tch-ass skaglicka, you makin' fun of my spellin' ?" Mama Jaws felt offended by Camtrap's correction. "You know that we bandits can't spell for sh*t to save our lives."

"Oh, I wasn't trying to be mean. I swear." Camtrap convinced apologetically. "I think it is a great invention that you came up with, Miss Mama Jaws. Your gift of inventinveness is quite extraordianary."

"Heh, well, you know, with all the corporate vault huntin' goin' on, there'll be lots of chances for me to show off my brand's merchandise." Mama Jaws said as she deactivates the shredda grenade and playfully tosses it up and down like a toy ball. "And what better way to do that than to show 'em off right in the middle of a fight. Plus, it'll be fun to test out this baby out on them Atlas skaglickin' scumbags. They'll be in for a treat, I'd say."

"It is so cool that you all get to be vault hunters, traveling across dangerous lands and fighting bad guys." Camtrap said delightfully before changing to a more downed tone. "All I get to do is just watch by the sidelines and record you guys doing all the exciting stuff."

"Woah there, lil' pink rust-bucket." Mama Jaws encoraged. "Who said you cannot be a vault hunting badass just like the rest of us?"

" *Gasp* Does ... does that mean I might someday be a vault hunter? Like you?" Camtrap asked with glimmering hope.

"Of course!" Mama Jaws motivated Camtrap. "Everyone can be a vault hunter if they really put their noodle-noggins and blood-pumpers into it. And I mean that as a figure of speech, though I would like to taste some of them noodle-noggins, and blood pumpers. I mean, back in the day, no one would ever believe that a little girl raised in banditry with a knack for eatin' people and messin' with machines can run a corporation, but here I am now. You go ahead and believe in your dreams, and you can have all the nasty midget sex you want."

"Yes ... YES!" Camtrap cheered with her tiny robotic arms raised into the air. "I will believe in my dreams and have all the nasty midget sex that I wanted! What do you think, master?"

"SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!" The cameraman pleaded for help as he, along with Brandon, is currently getting b*tch-slapped with a newspaper-roll by the furious Xiao Lan. Both of their faces are so swollen red, they are almost unrecognizable under those bruises.

"Muh fasce ... Ah caknott feele muh fasce." Brandon mumbled weakly with a red swollen face as a result of Xiao Lan's repeated face-slaps.

"That's what you get for saying that I will never be married, you heartless bastard of a brother!" Xiao Lan howled angrily. "Nobody says that and gets away with it! NOBODY!"

"Ahh! Master!" Camtrap blurted out in response to seeing the cameraman in pain.

"Hey, lady reporter! Stop usin' a roll-o-paper to beat up them poor wimpy men!" Mama Jaws interjected. "I mean, paper is a terrible material for a melee weapon anyhow. If you want a good weapon with some real killin' power, I can lend y'all my buzzwrench."

"YURR NOHT HELPINGR!" Brandon complained to Mama Jaws for somehow making the situation worse for him.

Meanwhile, Patrick remains calm and silent throughout most of the ordeal, avoiding punishment like a boss as he calmly sips from his mug of coffee. However, while he is trying his best to ignore the commotion, Patrick's eyes caught something unusual with its gaze. Something that is hiding behind the grates within the air-vents. Something that seems to be wiggling with enough subtlety to only causes brief clanking noises against the air-vents. Perhaps it was Patrcik's imagination, but what he does unmistakenly see with his brief glance is a single glowing green eye that lurks behind the darkness of the vents.

* * *

*Dial tone* ... *Dial tone* ...

[ ... Ah, hello, Agent Licht.] A roguish voice is spoken out of an ECHO-device belonging to a certain Hyperion specialist. It is the voice of none other than the current Hyperion CEO, Jeffrey Blake.

"Blake." Selena greeted bitterly, with as lack of enthusiasm as she can be, given how she absolutely detest the guy she is speaking to.

Selena is now standing alone on the airship's balcony walkway outside, where the wind blows against her face and rustles her wavy blonde hair. Before she made this call, she made sure no one else is around to eavesdrop on her secretive conversation. And yet, despite the desire and effort to find the best isolated place on this ship for a private ECHO-net call, Selena could still hear the noisy nerve-wrecking commotion made by Xiao Lan at the meeting room. Trying to endure that unbearable noise, Selena continues the conversation with Blake.

[What a delightful surpise for you to call me at this very moment.] Blake commented with an added amount of light-heartedness to balance out the uneven tensions between them. [I was just about to contact you anyway to discuss certain issues regarding the vault hunt.]

"How's Sammy?" Selena asked in a somber tone, trying to use the least amount of words possible to seek for the most direct response possible.

[Oh, she's doing alright.] Blake answered with mild courtesy. [I mean, as alright as a hostage can be, if not more. In fact, she will be treated with the utmost hospitality that Hyperion can offer, so long as you maintain your part of our agreement.]

"I need to talk to her." Selena insisted.

[Missing your lovely wife already?] Blake asked rhetorically. [It hasn't even been a few days since you've last heard her voice. Do you not trust having her under my custody? I can assure you if I really were to put her under any kind of harm, I certainly won't need to lie about it. I may not be seen to you as a very trustworthy person, but surely my word is worth much more than whatever words Handsome Jack can spew out.]

"Don't give me that f*ckin' bullsh*t, Blake!" Selena griped with a low angry tone. "How much longer do I have to play this 'Handsome Jack Lover' pretend-game before you actually let her go? I'm sick of acting like a psychotic patient in front of these idiots."

[For as long as it takes.] Blake reminded. [Until our associative third party is convinced that you are the real deal, Miss Licht. Just like we've discussed before. This particular tribe of savages in the Aegrus continent may have been Handsome Jack fanatics, but they are certainly not lacking in intelligence. Surely, their wealth of knowledge on the vault as well as their proclaimed ability to open it without a vault key is evidence enough. If we were to successfully obtain their long-term partnership, we will need to be on their good side for as long as possible. Our common friend knows this as much as I do.]

"I'm still not sure about working with this 'anonymous company' that you've been dealing with under the table, away from the corporate board's oversight." Selena advised with suspicion. "Secretly betraying the corporate board is risky enough, and now you're banking on this anonymous friend of yours to watch your back when sh*t hits the fan? You've ask me to work with you in getting to the vault, yet you keep hiding information from me. Keeping me in the dark due to some 'need-to-know-basis' bullsh*t. What makes you so sure you can trust this anonymous company anyway? What makes you think they won't stab you in the back the moment they reach the vault before you do?"

[Oh please. As a fairly competent expert in backstabbing myself, I assure you I can sense a backstabber way before they even have the chance.] Blake boasted. [Anyway, that's for me to worry about, not you. So I suggest that you know where your boundaries are, Agent Licht.]

"Tsk, like I have a choice." Selena sneered. "You can do whatever the f*ck you want with what's inside the vault, for all I care. But right now, as of this moment, I want my 5 minutes with Sammy. And you wouldn't like it if I don't get what I want."

[ *Sigh* ... Very well, then.] Blake finally gave up, for he couldn't argue with Hyperion specialist. [I suppose you have been cooperative enough so far for me to give you a small reward. I'll be transferring your call to her right now. Just give me a few seconds ...]

*Dial tone* ... *Dial tone* ...

[ ... Selena?] A woman's tired voice is substituted from Blake's voice at the other end of the ECHO-net call. It's the voice ... of Sammy.

"Sammy?" Selena blurted out with a rather tender and gentle tone of concern, contrasted from before. Selena almost sheds a tear when she heard the voice of her loved one. "Sammy! Are you alright? Did they treat you okay over there?"

[ ... Selena ... why are you doing this?] Sammy sounded of sorrow and regret to the point of almost sobbing. [Don't you know that you're helping these monsters kill innocent people? Don't you know what will happen if they ever get their hands on the vault?]

"Tsk ... I know." Selena gritted her teeth as she punched the wall in frustrated anger. "I know that better than you, Sammy. Better than anyone else. But ... I cannot lose you. Not after I lost Angel. Not after ... I lost Jack."

* * *

_12 years ago ..._

_Before the development of the Helios station, Hyperion was already being deployed to various other places throughout the six galaxies. Whether it were private military operations or harvesting resources from planets, you can guarantee Hyperion is gonna be there to make some profit out of it. One of the most prominent bases of operations for Hyperion at the time was the Eos station, a space station built by Hyperion that is orbiting Eden-6 at the time. It is here where the best of the Hyperion Task-Force is stationed, and hence where Selena does most of her work back in the day._

_While barely half the size of the Helios station, Eos was nonetheless well-equipped with various facilities. With over 500,000 people stationed to work on it, you could say it's more like a city than a space station. While there are opportunities for workers to get vacation-leave off the station once in a while, many of them have been in the station for so long that it almost feels like a second home. There are various facilities to keep the workers comfortable. But perhaps the most important aspect of it all was ... it has the appropriate number of laundry machines for the number of people stationed there. (No, I'm not gonna let that go.)_

_Within a very specific part of the station, you'll find a combat training facility using state-of-the-art digistruct technology to construct life-like holographic humanoid targets for the trainees to shoot at. Currently, a squad of five people are using it for their daily training exercise. Each wears a standard Hyperion task force combat suit, with helmets and body armor, with painted with white-and-yellow color schemes. As the team goes through the training course with decent coordination, the holo-targets are being blasted into shattered pixels of blue light. After all is said and done, the five trainees took off their helmets. One of them is revealed to be ... Selena. Or rather, a younger version of Selena, whose wavy blonde hair is a bit shorter than it is now, making her look a bit more like a tomboy._

_"Alright, team. That's it for today." Selena strictly ordered the other four people in the squad, whom appears to be under Selena's command. One by one, Selena addresses various things to each of her team members. "Raison, you're a bit slow in the running approach. Pick up the speed next time. Jesper, you shoot too early and too fast. Try to remember this isn't a cowboy showdown, alright? Cris, when I said to pass me the ammo, you pass me the ammo and you pass it immediately, not a few seconds later. The last thing we need is a shortage of bullets when the enemy team is putting holes in our faces. And Sascha ..."_

_Raison is the black dude with the mohawk and goatee. Jesper is the white dude with spiky greyish blonde hair and a soul patch. Cris is perhaps the largest and bulkiest one in the team, a Asian-looking dude with short black hair and thick bushy eyebrows that almost covers his eyes. (Damn those eyebrows are so thick and bushy ... no, no, gotta stay focused. Those eyebrows though ... ) Sascha is perhaps the youngest one on the team, as she is a rather unremarkable young woman with light brown skin and shoulder-length red hair._

_"... what happened out there, Sascha?" Selena confronts Sascha with a serious face. "You seemed completely unfocused."_

_"... I'm sorry, commander." Sascha replied in a shy voice. " But I did the best I could. I have just been transferred to this squad a while ago, and there are still things that I need more practice on. I'll try to do better next time. Please don't report me to the higher-ups or give me a bad rating. Please ..."_

_Suddenly, Selena dropped all the seriousness surrounding her and just laughed out loud. Soon, the rest of the squad followed up and laughed out loud as well. Seeing how the tension suddenly got replaced with a light tone of cheerfulness, Sascha became reasonably confused._

_"I ... I don't understand." Sascha noted with a big metaphorical question mark on her head._

_"Oy, our commander always gives newbies the serious treatment." Jesper explained with an Australian accent. "You ain't got nothin' to worry about, kid."_

_"That's right." Raison added with a friendly smile. "And to think you'd actually thought the commander is gonna say bad things about you to the higher-ups."_

_"The rest of Hyperion may see her as a strict squad leader." Cris followed up with a rather gentle tone. "But if you get to know her, Commander Licht can be actually kind of nice and easy-going."_

_"Hey, don't worry about it, kid." Selena reassured Sascha as she warmly wraps her arm around Sascha's shoulder. "Like you said, you've only joined the squad recently. I mean, we've all have our mishaps, don't we? Even I was a beginner once, so I can totally get how you feel. Being part of a task force isn't something anyone can do. But what matters more than pure skill and technique is trust among teammates. You gotta believe that your team is gonna have your back when you are out there shooting down the bad guys, am I right?"_

_"Yes, ma'am. I understand now." Sascha confirmed with confidence._

_"Ha, alright!" Selena cheered. "Now, how about we go celebrate? For Sascha joining our new squad! Drinks are on me!"_

_"Oy, why are the drinks always have to be on you?" Jesper complained. "It ain't fair that you get to pay for our drinks all the time, commander. This time, it should be on me."_

_"Not a chance, Jes." Raison countered. "You always spend away your paycheck at the start of every month. It should be on me."_

_"Hey, c'mon." Selena ordered with a semi-serious demeanor. "You guys are not fighting over this. I said I'm gonna pay for the bill, and that's final. That is an order!"_

_"Well, in that case, I'd say we mutiny!" Jesper joked. "How'd you like that, Commander?"_

_"Yeah!" Raison added to the joke. "A mutiny on the cause of the commander-in-charge being way too nice to her subordinates! Give us the little guys some slack once in a while, will ya?"_

_" *Sigh* Can we please stop arguing?" Cris pleaded, trying to calm things down among these half-assed wannabe mutineers._

_Everyone laughed wholeheartedly as they went to the cafeteria for some food and drinks. However, just as Selena was standing by at the food counter with her squadmates, she suddenly caught a glimpse from the corner of her eye. Something so spectacular to Selena that it occupies her full attention. What Selena saw at the far corner of the cafeteria was ... a woman. Presumably, a scientist who has worked at Hyperion only recently, given her lab-coat and her unfamiliar face. This woman also has blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and big-lens eye-glasses that almost covers the sight of her eyes from the reflections alone._

_During these pass couple of weeks, for the same time of the same day, almost like clockwork, Selena have seen this mysterious scientist lady eating lunch broodingly by herself at that very same corner of the cafeteria. Every time, as Selena passively watches from afar, the lady barely makes an effort to socialize with other people and seemingly enjoys the peaceful solitude. Selena doesn't know why she feels so captivated by this mysterious scientist. Many times, she had considered trying to make small talk with the scientist, but wasn't able to muster the confidence yet. However, this time, things are going to be different. She will not avoid it any longer. She is going to have a nice long conversation with the woman, and she won't let anything stop her. So after paying for the food and drinks for all her squad mates, Selena boldly stroll towards the lady scientist and attempt to talk to her._

_"Hey, how you doing?" Selena asked the lady scientist in a casual manner. The lady looked at Selena in a weird way, like she thinks of Selena as a stranger, which she technically is. Selena caught the nonverbal hint and responded by altering her tone of speech to be a bit more formalized. "Er, I mean ... hello. *Light chuckle* ... You must be new here. First time working for Hyperion? Because I've been working on this station for years and I've never seen a face as cute as yours, know what I'm saying?"_

_"What do you want?" The lady scientist asked monotonously._

_"Woah, don't take this the wrong way. I'm just trying to be friends here." Selena assured, trying to warm up to the scientist without scaring her away. "It's a habit of mine whenever new people come to this station. I mean, when you've pretty much lived on an isolated part of space for such a long time, the people on board are like family, you know. Ooh! Almost forgot to introduce myself. I'm Selena. Selena Licht. Hyperion Task-Force commander." Selena then offers the scientist a friendly handshake._

_"Samuels. Hyperion Labs. Biology division." The woman answered coldly, without even replying to the handshake or making eye contact with Selena, implying her disinterest._

_"Samuels, huh?" Selena said as she inches over to get a better look at the scientist's name-tag without looking too rude. "Hmm, Samantha Samuels. Sam Samuels. Sam-Sam. Wow, that's a very interesting name you got there. Can I call you Sammy?"_

_"Leave me alone. I'm trying to eat my lunch." Samuels requested with mild annoyance._

_"Alright, alright. I'll go." Selena admitted defeat. "Sorry if I disturb you at your lunch. Just trying to be friendly here, Don't mean any harm ..." Selena's run-off sentences gets lower in volume the further she walks away, indicating a rapid decrease in social confidence. "I mean, I usually come by this cafeteria at around this hour, so ... see you again sometime?" Selena continues to speak as she slowly backs off from Samuels. Selena then turns around to walk forward, but with a head facing down to the floor in a defeated slumped pose with an added depressing sigh._

_"Man, that was terrible." A man's voice spoke up, coming from somewhere nearby. Selena turns her head to her right to see a man leaning his back against a pillar, crossing his legs casually, and eating a bag of pretzels. "Who knew a woman who can kick so much ass is so terrible at wooing the ladies?"_

_Selena's eyes widened at the sight of that man. Not only does she recognize this man, she considers this man to be her best friend in the entire universe._

_"Jack?!" Selena exclaimed in surprise._

_"Hey there, sweet cheeks!" Jack waved hello as he pops another pretzel in his mouth. The Jack from twelve years ago sure looks different. Not only does he lack the bio-welded mask that makes him Handsome Jack, he also lacks any evil demeanor of any kind, instead having a much friendlier and more innocent personality. It truly is an entirely different Jack from whom we know of._

_A couple minutes later, Selena and Jack find themselves walking down the corridor of the IT (Information Technology) Department of the Eos station, the place where Jack works. Even though Jack and Selena work at different departments of Hyperion that are far apart from each other, they would occasionally find time to chat and hang out, just like old friends. As Selena carries a grumpy look on her face while she slumps through the corridor, Jack's walking posture remains proudly tall as he continues to devour pretzels from his small snack packet._

_"Pffwahahahaha ..." Jack laughed, almost shedding tears of hilarity from his eyes. "... Ah, seriously though, you totally nailed it with that performance. I'm betting a lot of chicks who digs other chicks would want to go out with you now."_

_"Put a sock in it, Jack." Selena blows off Jack's sarcastic remark._

_"Oh c'mon. I'm just trying to be supportive." Jack excused himself, now with a bit more comfort than mockery. "I mean, I would be a terrible friend if I don't point out the flaws in your flirting techniques, am I right?"_

_"Jack, how long have we've known each other?" Selena asked._

_"Well, now that I've think about it, it's a pretty long time." Jack puts some thought into it. "Hard to keep track of these things, you know."_

_"Ever since we're in pre-school." Selena reminded. "We have known each other for that long. And we have been friends ever since. So I know from a glance whether or not you're being supportive."_

_"Right, and we've also dated for a while between our high school and college years." Jack added. "And that was until we have broken up when you realized you weren't into dudes anymore and swing the other way. But you know, no hard feelings, we're still BFF's. And also we've had sex precisely 789 times."_

_"Woah, you actually kept track of that?" Selena questioned, curling her eyebrow in doubt._

_"What? Hell no! That was just a guess. It'll actually be kinda weird if I do keep track of those things." Jack joked. "Look, the point I'm trying to make here is I understand you. Perhaps more than anyone else in this world. So wouldn't it be appropriate that I am the most qualified to critique you on your pick-up lines?"_

_"Pfft, speak for yourself." Selena countered, playfully punching Jack in the arm. "You'd probably wouldn't have gotten hitched and married if it wasn't for me."_

_"Hey, to be fair. I do look quite handsome on my own." Jack complimented himself as he brush his hair back in a charming manner._

_"I should probably tell Rose that you said that." Selena said, mildly cringing._

_"Hey, she'll probably agree with me." Jack pointed out._

_In order to get back at Jack for being so damn smug, Selena then abruptly snatches Jack's bag of pretzels and quickly finishes off the rest of the pretzels before throwing the bag away at a nearby trash can._

_"Hey! I was going to finish that." Jack complained._

_"Well, tough luck. I'm in a grumpy mood today and that makes me hungry." Selena denounced back._

_Afterwards, both of them enter the IT main computer room, where there are the typical office cubicles lined up in an orderly fashion within the room. Within the room, there are a couple of programmers who are working quietly within their own cubicle. Jack moves to his cubicle and takes a seat while Selena leans against the cubicle wall and crosses her arms._

_"Umm, excuse me, Mr. Jack." A young man spoke up as he approaches Jack. Given how he is well-groomed and dressed in the same matching uniforms as Jack, it can be assumed that he works in the same department as Jack. The young man seems average-looking, with medium height and build, light-tone skin, and short brunette hair. Although, strangely enough, this guy sounded like he is voiced by Troy Baker. Weird, isn't it? (Well, now that I think about it, it's not that weird. This is Troy Baker we're taking about. He practically in EVERYTHING, because he's motherf*ckin' Troy Baker ... MOTHERF*CKER!) "The code was done written. You want to take a look at it?"_

_"Yeah, I'll be right there, Rhys." Jack replied. "Just give me a moment."_

_"Yes, sir. I'll be taking my lunch break now." Rhys proceed to walk out the room, but suddenly turns around to address Jack once more. "Oh, by the way. While I'm out, can I get you anything? Do you want some coffee or something? I'll go get it for you if you want."_

_"Nah, I'm good." Jack said in a friendly manner before referring back to Selena. "Oh, you know what? You could probably get her something if you like. My friend Selena here is in a really bad mood right now and probably need like a ton of food to cheer her up." Selena responded to Jack's mocking remark by lightly elbowing Jack in the gut. "Ooh!, That hurts ..."_

_"I don't need anything right now." Selena said appreciatively._

_"Oh, um ... ok. I'll get going then, sir." Rhys said before dismissing himself._

_"Hehehe ... Interns, am I right?" Jack commented with a light chuckle. "Rhys is a good kid. He's got a lot of potential. I can see him making it big someday in this company. So anyway, I'm guessing from your rougher-than-usual approach to making some friends-with-benefits must be an indication of some sort. I mean, you usually play it fast-and-loose with your relationships. One-night stands at the local bar and all that. What changed?"_

_" *Sigh* ... You know why." Selena hinted, trying to avoid getting in an apparently touchy subject._

_"No, I really don't." Jack said while shaking his head. "Please, enlighten me."_

_" *Sigh* ... I'm turning 30." Selena admitted with a whispering tone._

_Once he'd heard it, Jack let out a sudden burst of uncontrollable laugh that almost spooked the entire room of Hyperion employees._

_"Stop laughing Jack, I'm serious." Selena urged, trying to keep Jack's noisy laugh down. "I mean ... usually when people, especially women, turn 30, that was when they have to start making long-term choices with their future, right? The usual one-night stands with strangers is good-and-all, but ... there just comes a time when you want something more long-lasting. Something more meaningful, you know what I'm saying? There's just comes a moment when I ask myself if I were to grow old and die, would I regret it if I die alone, without anyone besides me? I am afraid of having that regret, Jack. Have been afraid of it for a while now. So I think I'm ready for a more substantial relationship and ... well, you gotta start somewhere, right?"_

_"Wow ... that ... that is heavy." Jack spoke softly, now becoming a bit more sentimental. "Honestly, I never took you as that type of woman, Selena."_

_"Hey, I told you out of the confidence that you wouldn't look at me differently because we've been friends for a long time." Selena said with a bit more flare from before. "If you're gonna be like this, then this conversation is over."_

_"Woah, woah, woah, hold on." Jack pleaded, halting Selena from completely rushing out of the room. "Sorry if I made you mad. It's just ... it's not everyday that you get to see a different side of a person you have known your entire life. So, how about this? Why don't I give you some assistance on that matter? I mean, this is a fellow Hyperion employee we're talking about here, right? In that case, I'm sure I can dig up some stuff from the Hyperion database right here." After taking a seat at his own cubicle desk, Jack promptly stretches his fingers and begins typing really fast onto his keyboard like a computer whiz. "I can work my magic, get a couple of info here and there, and give you a better edge at stealing that girl's heart. What do you say?"_

_"Hmph, alright. But no more laughing at my age-30 issue, okay?" Selena now replaces sentimentality with a go-getting attitude. "Also, if you tell anyone else about it, I'll murder you."_

_"If you can make it quick and painless, then it's a promise." Jack joked along with Selena. "Of course, I won't be doing anything illegal for you. Just slightly bending the rules a little."_

_"Alright. So what do you know about this 'Samantha Samuels'?" Selena asked as she stares at the computer screen along with Jack._

_"Huh, interesting ..." Jack pointed out in interest as he rapidly types on his keyboard. "Seems like she was hired recently along with a group of scientists to study a new substance called 'Eridium'."_

_"Eridium?" Selena asked._

_"Yeah." Jack answered. "Apparently, it's this type of weird purple mineral deep below some planets that has some exotic new properties. Said to be the remnants of an ancient alien race of some sort. There a rumor spreading around claiming it could be linked to these mysterious 'vaults' that everyone has been taking about nowadays. Crazy, right? I mean, right now all we can find relating to these vaults is precisely squat. But that doesn't stop people from dreaming, apparently."_

_"I don't care about that." Selena ignored the insignificant details. "You got any idea which location she is working on? What sector? Maybe I can .. I don't know, run into her some time?"_

_"Well, apparently you can work side-by-side with her as well." Jack explained. "She will soon be joining an expedition with a ground team to extract some more Eridum and performing some field tests. You could be transferred there as part of the security team if you're interested."_

_"Really? That's perfect!" Selena cheered for an early celebration.._

_"There's just one slight problem, though." Jack pointed out. "Since the ground team is more heavily science-based than your typical counter-terrorist or hostage rescue operation, everyone on the team, including the security team, is expected to have some basic knowledge in handling scientific equipment, in case of some weirdly specific catastrophe happening, I suppose. And that means computer skills are included. There will be an exam for it, of course, to see if you were qualified."_

_"What?! Seriously?!" Selena is shocked to hear. "But I'm terrible with computers. I've only barely made it through the science section of the basic test when entering the task-force."_

_"I know right? Bummer." Jack sympathizes with Selena, before seeing Selena looking at him in a more suggestive and enthusiastic way. It's almost like telepathy, as Jack already knows what Selena is thinking. "Uh-oh, you're giving me that look. Somehow I already know what you're gonna say."_

_"Please, Jack." Selena pleaded Jack while tugging onto his shirt sleeve. "I really need to ace that test, and you're the best computer guy I know."_

_"I'm the only good computer guy you know." Jack said in a matter-of-fact manner._

_"You get my point." Selena said with a mildly annoyed low-brow. "I really need you to teach me how to do all that stuff with the computers. You know, hacking the matrix and all that."_

_"Hacking the matri- ... where the hell did you get the idea of how computers work?" Jack asked obscenely in response to Selena's lack of authentic computer knowledge, feeling rightfully offended as a computer nerd guy who respects the art and science of computer programming. "Also, you never have any interest in learning about computers when we were young. Not even when we were dating."_

_"Well, things were different back then." Selena remarked desperately. "I didn't need to learn about stuff like that to get by, and you've always been there to help me in that stuff anyway. But this time, I have to do this on my own, and you're the best chance I have at learning these skills. C'mon. Help a friend out, will you?"_

_" *Sigh* Like I could ever say 'no' to you." Jack rolled his eyes in defeat._

_"Yes! Thank you, Jack. You're the best!" Selena thanked Jack with a tight warm hug._

_"Just a favor in return, though." Jack added to this agreement._

_"Ehhh?! You want favors now?" Selena complained with widened eyes of surprise._

_"Relax, it's a perfectly reasonable one." Jack reassured with a mild smile. "Just ... get Angel a really nice present, will you? Her 10th birthday's coming up, and I really want her to have the best time of her life."_

_"Pfft, are you kidding?" Selena brushed it off like it was nothing. "I was already going to do that."_

_"Well, in that case, make that a double." Jack adjusted the agreement. "Get her two presents instead of one."_

_"Heh, alright, world's greatest dad. You've got yourself a deal." Selena agreed as she gives Jack a high-five. Selena then caught a glimpse of someone coming in from the doorway. "Well, speaking of the angel ..." Jack turns around as well to see a delightful sight._

_"Daddy! Daddy!" A child ran over to Jack to give him a nice warm hug as her voice is heard. The child couldn't be more than 10 years old. Her long jet-black hair is nicely combed to be straight and tidy and her innocent smile would brighten the day of anyone who sees it. But perhaps the most noticeable trait of this young girl ... is her Siren tattoos, covering the left side of her body and eye-catchingly apparent from her short-sleeved shirt. Despite of that, no one seems to take that into account and only treated her like any regular little girl. That's right ... this young girl is none other than Angel, from when she is still a mere child._

_"Hey there, pumpkin!" Jack greeted his daughter with loving affection as he lifts her up to place her on his lap. "Ooph, you are getting heavy."_

_" *Giggles* Well, that not nice to be speaking to our daughter that way, is it? She's just energetic, that's all." The voice of a more mature woman spoke up as another person came by the door. Similar to Angel, she has the same beautiful and kind-hearted complexion surrounding her. She is a woman of ample beauty, with soft white skin and long glossy black hair. Her smile could definitely compete with Angel's in terms of warming innocence. All in all, she looks like an older version of Angel. But that's only reasonable because she is Angel's mother and Jack's wife, after all._

_"Rose?" Selena softly exclaimed in wide-eyed surprise._

_"Hi, Honey." Jack greeted merrily before giving Rose a kiss right in the lips. "Energetic is right. Must have been all the sugar I've been feeding her, isn't that right? From now on, no more ice cream before bedtime."_

_"Heehee ... you couldn't hide your snacks from me." Angel boasted with innocent charm, her cuteness levels being off-the-charts._

_"You're right. I couldn't." Jack admitted in mocking defeat._

_"Hello, Selena. It's nice to see you." Rose greeted politely as she gives Selena a nice hug. "I hope my husband isn't giving you any trouble."_

_"Rose, It's nice to see you as well." Selena replied with a smile while casually scratching the back of her head. "Well, you know Jack. Doesn't give me any more trouble than he used to. By the way, what are you two doing here?"_

_"Oh, haven't you heard? It's 'Bring-Your-Daughter-To-Work' Day." Jack explained. "My very own daughter coming here to watch me work, so she could later take after his old man."_

_"Yes, and I'm gonna git gud with my leet haxor skillz, so I can be just like daddy!" Angel wooed while pumping two fists in the air._

_"Aww, cmon." Selena complained to Angel in a childish tone. "Programming is great and all, but don't you want to be more like me and kick bad guys butt and what not? Think of all the adventures you can have."_

_"Absolutely not." Jack opposed as he rubs Angel's adorable little checks with his thumbs, of which Angel giggles in response. "I will not let my sweet little Angel go through any kind of life-threatening danger. I couldn't even imagine how I will feel if something happens to my little munchkin."_

_"Well, the final decision should still be made by our own Angel." Rose suggested. "All we can do as parents is support her."_

_"That's right!" Angel cheered with high-spirit. "And I want to be whatever makes my daddy proud of me, and also what I'm good at! Although, I wouldn't mind kicking some baddie's butt on the side. Maybe I can do both!"_

_"Hehe, I'm sure you can, you cute little rascal. Come here." Selena agreed as she maneuvers Angel on top of her so that Angel is sitting on Selena's shoulders. As the day goes by, this tightly-knit group of friends and family seems to be doing alright as they spend their days in blissful ignorance, unaware of the horrifying future ahead._

* * *

After about 5 minutes of much needed conversation, Selena finally hung up her call with Sammy. It's not like she doesn't want more time with her loved one. Blake takes precaution in not letting Selena have too much of what she wants. Blake always keeps Selena hungry for more, just like a master would do to his obedient dog. Selena knows she is under Hyperion's leash and she hates every second of it. But for now she'll just have to endure it until she can obtain the vault once and for all.

However, just as the wind blows upon the balcony, there is something that caught the corner of Selena's eye. A brief glimpse of a shadowy figure sneaking pass the entrance leading to the inside of the Blue Moby. Selena couldn't even get a split-second glance at that shadowy figure before it vanishes away. However, for what Selena can be certain of, that shadowy figure possess an ominous stare in the form of a glowing green eye.

* * *

Inside one of the bedrooms aboard the Blue Moby, Oleg suddenly wakes himself up from his drunk-induced sleep as he lays down on his bed. His mind wanders as he tries to figure out what he can do to pass the time when he fails to sleep due to his tremendous hangover headache. Either that or ... maybe it was something else that is bothering him and preventing him from sleeping. Whichever it is, Oleg has concluded that it's pointless to slumber any further and decided to make an ECHO-net call. A call to someone he knew for a long time, but wasn't exactly comfortable talking to again. However, after that intense incident with the seductive bartender at Sanctuary who goes by the name of Moxxi, it is only appropriate that he makes this call. 'What is it with him and sexy bartenders?' Oleg thought as he sighed. Maybe this call could unwind a tight emotional knot deep within Oleg, allowing him to sleep better. It certainly is well worth a shot.

*Dial tone* ... *Dial tone* ...

[ ... Hello?] A woman's voice came from the other side of Oleg's call. And not just any regular woman's voice, but a voice so starkly resemble that of Moxxi's, yet different enough to have its own style. Even though the voice bares some resemblance, it certainly is not Moxxi that Oleg is calling. No ... it is someone else entirely.

"Privet (Hello), Adelynn. It's me." Oleg greeted with a tired voice, revealing that the one at the other side of the call was none other than the enigmatic long lost daughter of Moxxi ... Adelynn.

[Oleg? ...] Adelynn replied in surprise, pausing for a few seconds to take everything in. [... It's good to hear from you. I was afraid you've encountered some trouble on your way to Sanctuary. I heard what happened, with the things going on with Atlas and everything. It doesn't sound pretty.]

"Hmph ... is it truly your concern, or did you ask that because Mikhail told you so?" Oleg said, with a hint of spite mixed in with his fatigued voice.

[Oleg ...] Adelynn tries but fails to convince Oleg that her concerns are genuine. [ ... you know it's not like that.]

" *Groans* ... sorry." Oleg apologized as he hold his head with one hand in response to the headache. "It's just that I'm hungover again and I cannot sleep off this headache."

[Have you been drinking again, Oleg?] Adelynn complained Oleg, as if trying to discipline him. [Honestly, one of these days, you are gonna drink yourself to death. Well ... unless those soldiers from Atlas kills you first because you're so drunk, you couldn't even hold a gun properly.]

"Hmph, who do you take me for?" Oleg asked, feeling slightly insulted. "I am not easily killed."

[Of course. You are the famous 'Scarred Bear-Slayer of Vladof', but I'm just worried regardless.] Adelynn said with concern. [Anyway, it's not like you to call me just to have an idle chat. At least ... not until we broke up. What's in your mind, Oleg?]

" *Groans* ..." Oleg is hesitant in telling Adelynn, but he knows he cannot avoid it any longer. " I may have ... met your mother."

[Oh ...] Those words left Adelynn speechless for a while. The sudden rush of emotion that came out of those words are like a breath of chilling air that blew over her, causing her to stiffen. [ ... really?]

"You did say Pandora is your home planet." Oleg reminded. "I suppose it's bound to happen sooner or later."

[Yeah, but ...] Adelynn made another pause, as if struggling for words to speak. [ ... You've only been on Pandora for a day or so and you've already met my mother? That ... I did not expect. *Heavy sigh* ... How is she, by the way?]

" *Groans* ... she's doing alright." Oleg described. "She is managing a bar at Sanctuary and her family seems to be doing okay."

[I see ... I'm glad to hear.] Adelynn felt relieved.

"Although, they were quite furious when they found out that I knew you. Found out that you were alive." Oleg continued. "Your mother ... I'm surprised she's actually your mother at all. Seems a bit too young for that ... she broke down in tears when she knew the truth. And one of your siblings ... the fat woman, she almost tried to kill me when she knew. I've sworn she could have been another BEAR."

[Hehe, that must be Ellie. That is so like her.] Adelynn joked with a weak laugh. [Look, Oleg ... I'm sorry you have to go through all that because on me. It's just that ... my family can have a crazy side to them.]

"Adelynn, I ... I know it isn't my place to interfere with your family matters." Oleg spoke with sentiment. "But maybe you should meet them yourselves. Maybe after the Corporate Vault Hunt, when the danger with Atlas is all cleared up, maybe you can meet them again. I know this isn't easy, but they needed that closure. They deserve it."

[Heh, well I'm afraid that family reunion might happen sooner than you think.] Adelynn said.

"What do you mean by that?" Oleg asked with a raised eyebrow.

[There's been a change of plans, if you haven't been caught up.] Adelynn informed. [The corporate board has finally decided to take the fight to Atlas. They are going to send in construction crews and extra soldiers to Sanctuary to try to provide additional support to the Crimson Raiders. Of course, just to balance out the whole corporate power struggle, they are sending in a set of secondary representatives, one from each corporation, to overlook this project. And guess who is going to represent Vladof to go to Sanctuary? It's yours truly.]

"That is news to me." Oleg asserted with mild surprise. "Didn't know things are moving so quickly."

[I know, right? I've only heard about this a couple hours ago.] Adelynn said.

"Will you be alright?" Oleg asked.

[Oh, what's that?] Adelynn said with inticement. [If I'm not mistaken, I could have sworn I hear you being very concerned about me.]

"Hmph ... do not misunderstand." Oleg clarified. "We are still working together under Vladof's name. I'm as concerned about you as I do with every one of my comrades. Besides, given how you are basically Mikhail's right-hand, it would be a shame for you to die in such a mission. Mikhail might even have my head if he knew you died under my watch ... well, assuming that he isn't on his sick bed right now."

[Oh c'mon, Oleg. What do you take me for?] Adelynn asked, this time being the one who feels offended now. [Just like you, I am not easily killed. Plus, you've seen me in action kicking ass plenty of times. Honestly, you sound like just like Nina.]

"Well, Nina was supposed to be our nurse for that particular reason." Oleg joked tiredly. "To nag us whenever we put ourselves in danger."

[Yeah, yeah.] Adelynn said annoyingly. [Besides, aren't you supposed to be worrying about the vault? Maybe you should concentrate on that instead and let me take care of myself.]

"Hmph, of course." Oleg said. "But perhaps, it is not just your safety that I worry. There is still the issue with your family."

[ *Sigh* ... I'll be alright.] Adelynn reassured as she mentally prepares what's up ahead. [As soon as I realized that you are going to Pandora, I knew that this is going to happen sooner or later. I cannot run from it any longer, so I might as well get this over with.]

"... I wish you luck, Adelynn." Oleg said with warming concern towards Adelynn.

[Thank you, Oleg.] Adelynn thanked gratefully. [I wish you luck as well. Goodbye.]

After Adelynn hung up the call, Oleg decided to get up from his bed and maybe talk a stroll around the ship for his hungover headache to recede. As Oleg walks around, he stumbles across the cargo bay, where he is surprised to find Eugene inside it.

Within the large open cargo bay area, Eugene seems to be practicing his target-shooting with some type of electronic training rifle. There seems to be a couple of floating holographic targets hovering at a far distance at the end of the cargo bay. While gripping onto the rifle with a standard rifle-aiming stance, Eugene proceeds to shoot them down with astounding speed and accuracy. This type of equipment and set-up is quite common in today's military, particularly with soldiers who often travel in spaceships, where a conventional shooting range using actual guns is not possible. In addition, the soldiers also need something to alleviate their boredom, so using this to train your marksmanship as well as pass the time is like killing two birds with one stone. After using up all the shots within the rifle's magazine, the session is then electronically recorded into a data-device of some sort strapped onto Eugene's wrist. Seemingly impressed with his own score, Eugene then turns around to notice Oleg coming by the cargo bay.

"Oh hey, look. The large proud representative of Vladof has finally woken up." Eugene greeted Oleg with a smug smile as he shoulders his rifle in a casual manner.

"Hmph, you seem to be working hard." Oleg commented as he strolls towards Eugene with lumbering steps.

"Hell yeah I was." Eugene agreed before resetting his data-device for another round of target-shooting "The best of the best has gotta keep his skills sharp, know what I mean? If I'm gonna take on this entire vault hunt and win it with style, I gotta give it my all. You wanna be the best, you gotta train the hardest. That's my philosophy."

"Hmm, quite inspirational." Oleg said apathetically as he sat down on one of the storage crates nearby.

"Now that really means a lot coming from a Vladof like you." Eugene said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Oleg asked.

"Well, you know." Eugene explained. "When I was at Dahl ... pfft, heck, even before that, I heard stories of the brave and tough warriors of Vladof. Of how they are relentless in their defense of their mother-land. Of how they fight against armies ten times their size and survive through unforgiving winters just to hold their front. You know, all that jazz. To be honest, I was kinda disappointed when I first saw you, the first Vladof that I've met in person. You are ... how should I say it ... a bit underwhelming."

"Well, I'm sorry to say this, but you will remain disappointed." Oleg said dispassionately. "Being part of Vladof almost my entire life, I can assure you that most of what you heard are mostly propaganda, aim towards boasting Vladof image as greater than it actually is. If you think about it, almost anything and everything depends their entire existence on a lie."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Eugene said, his smug smile however remains unchanged. "But if those stories were managed to be told for so long without anyone questioning it, some of it is bound to be true, right? I am curious. How does one of Vladof's finest hold up in an actual gunfight?" Eugene then hands Oleg his holographic mock rifle, of which Oleg looks back at Eugene with a curiously raised eyebrow. "Go on. Try shooting those targets with the best aim you can muster. It'll be awesome to see a legend in real action."

"Hmph, I do not want to." Oleg denied. "Got massive headache from hangover."

"Aww, c'mon! That's no excuse." Eugene protested. "Believe me, I've been through some range-shooting while drunk, and I still nailed at least 95% of the shots that I'd make while I'm sober. Granted, I did get court-martialed afterwards, but that's besides the point."

"The answer is still no." Oleg rejected with persistence as he reaches for his bottle of vodka and try to drink from it, only to realize that it was already empty.

"Heh, how about it?" Eugene sees Oleg's alcohol shortage as an opportunity. Eugene then pulls out from his storage SDU a six-pack can of beer, digistructed out of thin air and waving it temptingly in front of Oleg. "Since you a big fan of the booze, how about I give you a little treat from my beer reserves in exchange for you doing a little performance of marksmanship."

" *Groans* ... I'm only a fan of the real king of alcohol, and that is vodka." Oleg said before realizing that he is going to be dry for a while, so he couldn't afford to miss this chance. "But I suppose I have no choice but to accept."

"Alright, alright." Eugene cheered with optimism before tossing the rifle to Oleg. Oleg caught the rifle and prepares a hip-fire position, fires randomly at the targets with barely any of the shots hitting anything. Oleg then casually takes a can of beer off Eugene's hands, leaving Eugene mildy frustrated. "Aww c'mon, that was horrible aim. You're not even trying, man. A boy scout could do better than that."

"You say I demonstrate. You didn't say it have to be good." Oleg refuted as he opens his can of beer to drink the cold refreshing contents inside.

" *Sigh* ... Alright, how about this?" Eugene negotiated. "I'll give you two cans of beer if you'd be able to at least make head shots on every one of the targets using only one clip."

"Hmm ... alright." Oleg considered for a while before putting down his opened can of beer. After picking up the rifle for a second try, Oleg readies himself, but this time holding the rifle with two hands in a steady rifle pose that Eugene recognizes only comes from an expert in riflemanship. Oleg takes aim and, with his superior skill and timing, he is able to hit the targets dead-on, nailing headshots one-by-one. By the time he's emptied out his clip, he has shot all of the targets in the head ... except for one. There is still one target left remaining that was left unscathed by Oleg, almost purposefully, leaving Eugene mildly confused.

"Wow! Now that's what I'm talking about. You finally show your true colors, didn't you, big guy?" Eugene praised before remarking to the negatives. "But, uh ... I think you may have left one out."

Oleg didn't respond with words. Instead, he is going to take out that last target, but with a different method. He tosses away the rifle and activates an SDU attached to his left arm, causing his signature giant metal claw gauntlet to digistruct into existence. Armed with the giant metal claw gauntlet wrapping around his left arm, Oleg then winds up his claw-arm before throwing a massive punch into thin-air towards the direction of the target. What happened afterwards was jaw-droppingly awesome. Immediately after that punch, the claw releases a long metal chain with a claw-attachment at the tip. The chain flew across the cargo-bay and into the remaining target's head, grabbing it with its claw blades, and rips off the head in one pull. After that, the chain rapidly retracts itself back into the gauntlet. (That's right, motherf*ckers. This motherf*cker's got a claw-chain in his gauntlet! A motherf*ckin' claw-chain gauntlet ... MOTHERF*CKERS!)

" *Whistle* Gotta say, I'm impressed." Eugene complimented in awe. "I didn't know your claw-thingy could do something like that. Though, I don't think that technically counts as a headshot ..." Before Eugene could finish his sentence, Oleg gives him a intimidating glare, indicating that Oleg is gonna get what he wants, one way or another. " ... Uh, you know what, forget I said that. It totally counts. Bravo to you, big guy. Here's your two cans of beer." Eugene handed Oleg two cans of his beer supply with no fuss whatsoever.

Oleg took his two cans of beer before sitting down on one of the crates and consuming the beverages in silence. After a while, Oleg began reminiscing about his past. Particularity the part when he first met the seductive bartender known as Adelynn.

* * *

_5 years ago ..._

_On the planet of Demophon, there lies a city known as Vladovstok that is the base of operations for the Vladof corporation. Because of its unique geographical location, it snows almost constantly, with blizzards so intense they could probably freeze a man to death in half an hour. Factories with smoke stacks are dotted throughout the city, releasing clouds of black smoke into the sky that slightly stain the otherwise pure-white snow with a bit of grey. That, coupled with run-down brick houses on the common streets, and you got yourself a pretty unremarkable neighborhood. Within this neighborhood, there lies a clinic housing a certain renowned mercenary of Vladof._

_zzz ... *Snore* ... zzz ..._

_From within the clinic, you can see the moderately younger Oleg, fully dressed in his usual brown trench coat and casually sleeping on what appears to be a hospital bed. The room itself isn't much to look at either. Just a typical clinic room with white sheets and basic medical equipment lying around. Despite of lying on a clinic bed, Oleg doesn't seem to have any injuries on him. He seems to be sleeping there just for the heck of it._

_"Wake up." A voice of a woman with a thick Russian accent spoke up, making itself heard by the slumbering mercenary giant. Oleg can even feel someone shoving him lightly by the shoulder. "Hey, wake up now!"_

_Oleg gradually wakes up from his sleep, his eyes flinch from the light as they adjust to its brightness. Once fully awake, he sees in front of him a chubby middle-aged Caucasian woman with tan-brown casual wear, medically-gloved hands, and brunette hair wrapped into two buns at the sides of her head that are practically ripped straight out of Princess Leia from Star Wars. (Sadly, she's not wearing the slave costume ... I mean ... luckily, she's not wearing it. Oh God, I wouldn't imagine it!)_

_" *Groans* ... Nina?" Oleg groaned as he grips his forehead in response to his usual hungover headache. It seems like he is more often drunk and hungover than not nowadays._

_"That's Nurse Nina to you." The woman by the name of Nina declared as she places both hands at her hips like a disappointed adult staring down at a child._

_"What happened last night?" Oleg asked with confusion. "How did I get here?"_

_"You don't remember?" Nina reminded. "You celebrate with your comrades last night. You got so drunk, you pass out. Your comrades couldn't get you upstairs to your room because you so heavy. So Nina let you stay here to sleep for night. Lucky you, Nina don't have patients at moment. Someone could have really use that hospital bed you sleep on."_

_"Sorry, Nina." Oleg apologized with mild guilt as he looks down to analyze the bed he is sleeping on this entire time. "And ... thank you."_

_"Honestly, what happened to moderation?" Nina scolded with annoyance. "Nina thought big tough mercs like you should know better. Nina already have hands full with you men going out there and getting hurt because of revolution-fighting. There too many fighters and not enough nurses or doctors around."_

_"Again ... I'm really sorry." Oleg apologized some more._

_"O-hohoho. Don't worry about it. It was joke." Nina said with a tone of humor that is contrasted from before, letting out a laugh. "Nina loves fixing people. It's what Nina do best. Tell you what, you go out there and live life to fullest. When you get hurt, come to Nina, and Nina will fix you good. Okay?"_

_"Uh ... okay." Oleg agreed with a soft tone._

_"Good! Off you go now." Nina said with high spirit as she encouragingly pats Oleg in the back before leading him out the clinic office. "Dasvidaniya! (Goodbye)."_

_Once Oleg exited the clinic, he is immediately greeted with an icy wind blown to his face. The weather is snowy, windy, and freezing cold as always. Since Oleg has been living under this type of weather for his entire life, it never bothered him. As he takes a stroll on the streets, his boots sink into the snow that is several inches deep, crushing the snow beneath with every step. Obviously, Oleg isn't just wandering off aimlessly, as it only took him several blocks of walking before he enters into a bar. The very same bar that he partied last night as well as the bar that he frequents almost every other night._

_Usually, bars aren't open 24/7, but then again, those bars aren't owned by Vladof. When you are a citizen of Vladovstok, not having booze is worse than not having water. However, Oleg seems like an extreme case, even by Vladovstok's standards. He's a guy that just couldn't stop drinking. And it's not like he even enjoys drinking. But, from his intensely depressed face, you can already tell that he sees the world as a miserable desolate place, and the only thing that could muddle his mind enough to not give a f*ck is booze itself. As Oleg takes a seat on a stool near the bar table, he is promptly greeted by the bartender._

_"What can I get you for?" The bartender's voice was that of a woman's. And not just any average woman either, but that of a seductive type, whose voice could makes your muscles go limp and your head float towards the sky in pure relaxation._

_As Oleg raises his head to meet eye-to-eye with this particular bartender, Oleg's eyes widen and pupils dilated. This young adult female of a bartender is certainly captivating, especially to any healthy males out there, if you know what I mean (*wink wink*). With her long wavy dark brunette hair flowing beautifully down her upper back and bartender uniform that temptingly tries to emphasize the showing of her ... um ... *clears throat* ... her generously-sized chest region, she is certainly no amateur in terms of persuasion of the ... sensual kind. Perhaps the most noticeable of all the features is a beauty mark around the upper-left corner of her lip and a heart-shaped tattoo shown on her upper-left bosom, which is not only alluring, but also a subtle reference to some other person with a beauty mark and heart-shaped tattoo on the same regions of some other person with melon-sized gazongas for DAYS! (*cough*Moxxi*cough*). After a couple long seconds of staring, Oleg felt shamefully rude to stare any longer and shakes off his brief loss of focus before making his order._

_"Um, *cough cough* ... I'll have the usual." Oleg ordered, trying to feign politeness towards the bartender._

_"I'm sorry. This is my first time working here, so I don't know what your 'usual' means?" The female bartender excused while remaining somewhat dominant in the conversation._

_" *Sighs* ... two bottles of Red Star Nastoyka." Oleg ordered with mild annoyance._

_"Wait, did I hear it right?" The bartender inquired. "Red Star Nastoyka? That stuff is top-shelf quality and it's the strongest drink we have here. And you want them in bottles, not shots?"_

_"That is what I said. I did say it was my 'usual'." Oleg clarified. "And don't bother bringing me the shot glass. All I need are the bottles."_

_"Huh ..." The bartender raised a curious eyebrow before bringing the two bottles of the good stuff that Oleg ordered. Oleg then opens one bottle and boldy chugs down its contents without a care in the world. The bartender was in jaw-dropping awe as she watches Oleg drink in a manner that is deemed fatally dangerous to any average person. "You are one outrageous drinker, mister."_

_"Hmph, you must not have met many outrageous drinkers before." Oleg remarked as he wipes his gin-soaked mustache with his sleeve._

_"Oh, I have." The bartender corrected while she is wiping some wine glass with a cleaning cloth. "Plenty, actually. I used to work at a bar before I came working here. Granted, I worked there before I could even legally drink, but ... those were difficult times, and I gotta make ends meet."_

_"Hmm ... that accent. You're not from around here, are you?" Oleg remarked the bartender for her strangely non-Russian accent._

_"No, I'm not." The bartender said as she puts down one clean wine glass and picks up another to wipe clean. "I came all the way from Pandora, born and raised."_

_After hearing that, Oleg almost choked on his liquor. The bartender freaked out slightly when she saw Oleg briefly coughing and wheezing from the liquor._

_"Woah! You alright, big guy?" The bartender asked with concern._

_" *Clears throat* ... heheh ..." Oleg let out with a light chuckle. "Pandora is the spawning ground of savage bandits and deadly beasts ... not beautiful women like you."_

_"Ooh~ ... was that a compliment?" The bartender reacted with self-satisfaction, letting out a foxy smile. "Or were you just teasing me?"_

_"I do not tease. Clearly, you have come a long way just to work here." Oleg deducted. "A bar owned exclusively by Vladof, dedicated to whittle down the sobriety of hundreds of men every day. Clearly, you must have a special kind of motivation to be here."_

_"Well, it's not that special, actually." The bartender said reminiscently. "I just want to make something more out of myself, that's all. Something more than a gal who would otherwise rot away for the rest of her life on a spawning ground of savage bandits and deadly beasts, as you proclaimed. And ... well, I gotta start somewhere. So a bar owned by one of the largest corporations in the six galaxies is as good of a place as any."_

_"Hmph, fair enough." Oleg empathized._

_"By the way, I know it's not in my place to say but ..." The bartender said as she inches her face closer to Oleg's, almost able to smell Oleg's alcoholic-scented breath. "... in my point of view, there are only two reasons people drink the way you do. Either to lighten up parties or to cover up sorrows. From what I can tell, you obviously look like the latter. Funny how, even in a town filled with depressing drunks, you've managed to stand out among the rest. So, which is it? Did life took a wrong turn for you and now you down that liquor by the liter just to ease your pain?"_

_"Hmph, you do not know me very well if you were to say that." Oleg said with a depressing tone. "There are no 'wrong turns' to be taken ... because there are no 'right turns' in my life to begin with. I am always like this. I always drink ... because I am always sad."_

_"Really?" The bartender questioned with a more soothing tone, as if trying to console Oleg. "Well, if that's the case, maybe instead of drinking all the time, you should do something about your life. Fix whatever's in your life that is making you sad. Become a better person out of it, instead of being sad all the time."_

_"Hmph, what's wrong with being sad all the time?" Oleg said before taking another swig from his bottle. Oleg's face gradually grows redder, due to the effects of the alcohol finally kicking in. "I may be sad, but I am content with being sad, even for the rest of my life, so long as I don't have to put any effort into making change. I am sad because ... *hiccups* ... because sadness is my nature."_

_"Huh ... that's is intriguing." The bartender responded while folding her arms. "I don't believe it's natural for a person to be sad all the time. Isn't the purpose of all life the pursuit of happiness and all that?"_

_"It is wrong to assume happiness is a person's natural state of emotion, and that the effectiveness of a man's actions is determined by how close they can get from their current emotion to the emotion of happiness." Oleg continues to rant on. "Sometimes, that isn't the case. Sometimes, a person feels their most natural when being in a consistent state of sadness. Forcing happiness onto a person who is not accustomed to it will only end in turmoil."_

_"That ... is a bleak way of looking at life." The bartender commented, feeling kinda sorry for Oleg in looking at life that way._

_" *Groans* ... Look, I have seen many people die during my lifetime, most of them my closest friends." Oleg explained in a tired saggy voice. "Violence and pointless killing are a constant in my lifetime. I tried my best to avoid it and maybe even save people from it as much as possible, but even that is not enough. Nothing anyone can ever do will ever be enough, because if there's one thing that can never be changed, it's that violence is an intrinsic part of human nature. Millennia goes by, empires rise and fall, technology will improve, and people will still be killing each other for one reason or another. And the ironic part is ... you cannot change human nature without abandoning the part of you that makes you human. Sure, you may bring 'change' to an otherwise savage way of life, but what's been done cannot be ignored or forgotten. Those people ... those idealists who think they can erase humanity's misdeeds through 'progressive change' ... what exactly have they changed if, sooner or later, people will eventually revert back to a state of violence like they always did throughout history. In my point of view, optimists like that are idiots, ignorant of this persistent pattern of human nature. I am sad because ... I have realized this truth a long time ago, and I have learned to find solace in accepting the reality of the way things are instead of stubbornly trying to change fate, only to be met with disappointment."_

_" ... " The bartender is left speechless for a while. She doesn't suspect how metaphysical Oleg can be, so she has to take a moment to process all of that. "That is ... quite a deep philosophical thought you got there. I haven't thought of it like that."_

_"Hmph, there is still lot for you to learn, young one." Oleg said before taking another swig from his first bottle that he almost emptied. Oleg then proceed to open his second bottle before heading out of the bar. "Maybe you'd learn to accept life by constantly despising it like I do."_

_"Wait! ..." The bartender halted, prompting Oleg to turn around. "It's undeniable that you do not think happiness should be pursued. Heck, you may even be right. But that does not stop people from being creative. From coming up with things in life that ... are capable of a few moments of joy, no matter how brief they may be. Hang on, I got something for you." The bartender then takes out a large glass jar containing a red-purple smoothie-like concoction that she pours into a glass. She then hands that glass of strange liquid to Oleg. "After all that drinking, you're bound to be hungover later. This will bound to ease that headache a little. It's a secret recipe of mine. I promise you'd even like the taste."_

_" *Groans* ... I don't need it." Oleg rejected while staring at that drink with a creepy feeling._

_"Aww, c'mon. Just drink it." The bartender urged while firmly pushing the glass towards Oleg. "Not everything in life is a drab, you know. Sometimes, it can be full of delightful surprises."_

_Oleg knows the bartender is the type of woman who won't take 'no' for an answer. Behind those beautiful eyes, Oleg can tell that this young woman isn't just a pretty face with a dumb dream, and that she actually has some sort of flaming spirit from within. One that could vitalize anyone who is endowed by her. One with vigor. One with ... moxie. And with that, Oleg reluctantly tried out the bartender's mystery drink, drinking it all down in one huge gulp._

_" *Gulp* ... Hmm, not as bad as I suspected." Oleg commented, smacking his lips as he savors the surprisingly decent flavor of the drink._

_"See? It turned out alright, didn't it?" The bartender said. "Not everything in life is as dreadful and hopeless as you'd think it'll be. Sometimes, life itself is worth a second chance."_

_"As much as I was afraid to ask ... what is in it?" Oleg asked while, at the same time, a little afraid._

_"Oh? So now you're curious?" The bartender teased, hands on her hips. "Hmm ... fine, I'll tell you. But promise to keep it a secret, okay?"_

_"Promise." Oleg promised with sincerity._

_"Hehe, alright! It's a long list of some of the finest ingredients ever know to treat hangovers all bundled up into one." The bartender listed with enthusiasm. "We've got tomatoes, bananas almond milk, Tabasco peppers, coconut oil, avocado, kale, cactus extract, arrowroot, peppermint, chia seeds, raw egg yolk, clam juice, beef broth, peanut butter, willow bark extract, walnuts, sea salt, horseradish, Greek yogurt, and last but not least ... a deep-fried canary. Because, nothing wakes you up early than devouring an early bird, as I always say."_

_"Hmm, that is a incredibly long list of ingredients." Oleg felt impressed towards the young bartender. "Well, it remains to be seen whether it actually works in treating my hangover or if it's just going to give me a stomachache. Goodbye."_

_"Alright, then. See you later, big guy." The bartender send off Oleg with a wave goodbye._

_"Oh, by the way ..." Oleg said, facing the bartender once more. "I haven't gotten your name."_

_"Oh ... uh, my name ... is Adelynn." The bartender said with a delightful smile as she brushes her hair behind her ear._

* * *

Oleg's mind continues to wander off for a while as Eugene is practicing his shots on the improvised holographic shooting range. However, something by the edge of the cargo bay suddenly caught Oleg's divided attention. Something in the form of a small rectangular shadow shuffling around the corner for just a brief moment before vanishing.

"Hmm ... I think I saw something moving over there." Oleg pointed out to Eugene.

"Huh? Really? It's probably that pink recorder robot Camtrap sneaking around." Eugene suspected without taking his eyes off the targets. "You know how shy that little robot can be. Just ignore it."

Oleg didn't have the mental focus to care anyway. But for a brief curious moment, he thought for a while. That don't look like Camtrap. It looked similar, yet slightly different in a way. Oleg couldn't put a finger on the exact details. Maybe it has something to do with the glowing green eye that he briefly saw on that shadowy figure. 'Maybe it was just his imagination.' Oleg thought, as he continues to leisurely consume his cans of beer.

* * *

"Yes, Father. I am doing well." Kazuki said, talking into her ECHO device. Kazuki is now in her room, conversing with her father Kenji. "The temporary alliance with the Crimson Raiders is going well so far, despite of a few bumps in the road."

[That is good to hear.] Kenji replied with his heart at ease. [I'm surprised to hear that Zer0-dono is among the Crimson Raiders, but I am at least glad that he is by your side looking after you. I haven't hear from him for a long time now. Who would have thought he got involved in vault-hunting? This couldn't be more of a coincidence. Perhaps it is fate.]

"Perhaps." Kazuki concurred, thinking back to the image of Zer0 with a hidden smile. "How is Kaito nii-sama (brother) by the way? As well as mother and Kouta nii-sama?"

[Well, Kaito is doing well, I appreciate your consideration.] Kenji confirmed with sincerity before shifting to a more disgusted tone. [As for the other two ... hmph, they do not deserved to even be mentioned.]

"Father, they are part of the family as well." Kazuki defended.

[The mere mention of Yukiko and Kouta makes my stomach turn.] Kenji criticized with honesty. [I am shocked you are still tolerant enough of them to call them 'family', despite of how they mistreated you over the years.]

"No matter how they have treated me, family is still family." Kazuki said with resolve. "I have already lost a part of my family once already. I do not want to lose another one again, not even in a quarrel such as this. Besides, once I claim victory in this corporate vault hunt, I would have made a great contribution to the Maliwan corporation. Then, perhaps mother and Kouta nii-sama will see me in a different light."

[ *Sigh* ... It's amazing how optimistic and forgiving you can be, Hime-chan (princess).] Kenji told warmly. [Perhaps this is why you are my most beloved out of the three children.]

"I am flattered." Kazuki said, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I do not intend to compete with my two brothers for your affection. It does not feel right."

[Oh don't worry.] Kenji affirmed. [Kaito is definitely my close second, not that he cares about that sort of thing anyway. Kouta is obviously the last one on the list, needless to say, but that's besides the point. In the upcoming days, Kaito will have a lot to worry about in preparing for Sanctuary's defense."

"Preparing for Sanctuary's defense?" Kazuki said bewilderingly. "What do you mean, father?"

[Oh, that's right. I haven't told you about it yet.] Kenji explained. [The corporate board has collectively decided that, for the sake of Sanctuary's safety, they are going to send in people to fortify its defenses. By constructing turrets, shields, and delivering extra manpower. Each corporation will also send another set of representatives to overlook the project. Kaito will be the one representing Maliwan, naturally.]

"I see." Kazuki said with a gentle smile. "That means I get to meet Kaito nii-sama when I return in Sanctuary. I am glad."

[I know you are.] Kenji replied. [From the beginning, I've always thought this vault hunt is too dangerous, especially for someone as young and inexperienced as you. I was very vocal about opposing the decision of letting you representing Maliwan for the sake of your own safety. But then Yukiko insisted for you to take on the task to prove your worth, and you agreed with her, to my surprise. There is no way I could stop you from joining the Vault Hunt afterwards. However, even as of now, my heart felt uneasy, knowing that my Hime-chan could be in grave danger at any moment. Now, knowing that Zer0-dono and Kaito will be there to look after you, it eases my heart greatly.]

"Father, I am not entirely helpless." Kazuki whined, annoyed in his father being overprotective. "I can take care of myself."

[I know.] Kenji reassured, feeling a bit emotional. [You are a strong and beautiful woman, just like your mother. Your true mother, Alison ... Um, I got to go now. Take care, Kazuki.]

"I will, father. Take care of yourself as well. Goodbye." Kazuki bid farewell before hanging up her call.

After that fairly emotional call, Kazuki now reminisce about her past, particularly how she first got into the corporate vault hunt in the first place.

* * *

_6 months before the beginning of the Corporate Vault Hunt._

_It was a Maliwan training facility. The room was big and mostly empty with shiny-clean walls of white with singular stripes of blue and orange, the classic color scheme of Maliwan. Within a room of this training facility lies only one person, and it is Kazuki. However, instead of wearing the exquisitely-styled kimono that she wore in the vault hunt, she's wearing a long-sleeved sports jacket, sweatpants, and sneakers, with matching color scheme as the training room that she's in. Her hair is also lacking the fancy hair-pins, except of the two hair-clips, one white and one orange, that are holding the front of her dark-azure hair in a neat fashion. Right besides her is some sort of briefcase, of which Kazuki opens to take out what appears to be several of the finest Maliwan firearms available. With their curved shapes, elemental labels, and contrasting colors, you could have sworn Kazuki is holding onto a Gundam figurine or some sh*t, but that's besides the point. (I haven't held a Gundam figurine in my hands, to be honest. I'm too poor and not nerdy enough to own one. *cries* ... ) After all the guns are neatly laid out on a table, Kazuki first picks up a Maliwan incendiary pistol in order to carefully check the mechanism inside._

_"Kazuki! There you are." An adult male voice with an Asian-accent suddenly spoke up, originating from the entrance of the room. The door of the training room have just been opened, allowing a shred of light inside the otherwise dimmer room. "I've been looking all over for you. Pierre told me that you have borrowed some weapons from R&amp;D. That's how I know you're here."_

_"Onii-sama!" Kazuki exclaimed as she turned her head to see the more beloved of her two half-brothers. The one and only Akiyama Kaito. Like his father, Kaito was a well groomed male in a dark-blue suit, tall lean build, firm posture, jet-black hair, and rimless-glasses that are both minimalist and fashionable. You could almost say Kaito looks just like a younger version of Kenji, with the only difference being his long slim ponytail that goes down to almost his lower back. All in all, Kaito has the essence of tranquil fierceness that an eldest son of a multi-trillion dollar company's CEO is expected to have anyway. "I'm sorry to have made you worried." Kazuki made a polite bow as she greeted her brother._

_"I've heard about what happened from father. You really are going to participate in the Corporate Vault Hunt?" Kaito asked with genuine concern towards her sister as he walks several steps closer to her through the large training room that feels more like a gymnasium. "You know that this isn't just a casual event made for public appearances, right? Pandora is a dangerous place. There's a fair chance that you might get killed over there."_

_"I know that very well, Onii-sama." Kazuki confirmed with a determined expression. "That is precisely what I have volunteered to participate."_

_"Tsk, it must have been my mother's doing." Kaito suspected. "She never liked you, even after all these years, and now she is using this opportunity to get rid of you."_

_"Onii-sama! You shouldn't say things like that about your own mother." Kazuki advised. "Sure, she might have been the one who suggested that I participate, but I strongly agree with her decision. The Corporate Vault Hunt is a rare opportunity where all the major corporations get to officially compete in a sanctioned event. If I can win this event, that means that I have contributed to the Maliwan's success. After that, I'll be respected enough for them to let me work at the company, so I can help out Father in lightening his work-load."_

_" *Sigh* ... I should have been the one to participate in the event." Kaito considered with a clenched fist of frustration. "I have much more combat experiecne than you have, so I surely might have a better chance of surviving if I were to participate. To see you take my place in committing to such a dangerous task, it's just ..."_

_"Onii-sama ... don't worry." Kazuki affirmed with a warm tone as she places a gentle hand onto Kaito's shoulder for extra reassurance. "I will be fine on my own. The corporate vault hunt is 6 months away, so surely I will have plenty of time to train and get better at combat. Besides, I'll be more than willing to put my life on the line if it means my family doesn't have to."_

_" *Chuckles* ... It kinda feels like you're acting more of a mother to me than my actual mother." Kaito quipped, complimenting his sister while at the same insulting her own mother._

_"Onii-sama!" Kazuki scolded her brother lightly, trying to make sure he doesn't make a habit out of taking bad things to his own mother behind her back._

_"I won't take back what I said." Kaito defended himself. "I've known my mother way longer than you have, so I know how persistently cruel she can be. Now, let's not talk about her for the moment. If you're going to be training, you're going to need all the help you can get. I'll be more than happy to serve as your mentor."_

_"Onii-sama ..." Kazuki's heart is filled with warming gratitude, knowing that his brother Kaito cares deeply about her safety. "But ... will it be alright? I mean, you are quite busy and ... what if mother finds out?"_

_"Oh, I'll make time." Kaito promised with confidence. "And if mother finds out, I'll ... just light her up with an incendiary Submalevonet Grace."_

_"You aren't really going to do that, are you?" Kazuki asked with narrowing eyes of suspicion._

_"You'd never know." Kaito answered ambiguously before picking up another one of guns on the table to check its mechanisms. "Now then, let's get started with our training, shall we?"_

_"Hai (Yes)! Onii-sama!" Kazuki said with a warm smile as she bows politely._

* * *

While looking back at the recent past, Kazuki is simultaneously drawing a color-penciled rough sketch in her artbook while sitting on her bed within her bedroom at the Blue Moby. At the moment, she is drawing a picture of herself and her brother while they were training in that training room. It sure brings back memories of mellowing emotion. Besides her father Kenji, her mother Alison, and her sensei Zer0, Kaito was one of the few people whom she had a real close connection to. Admittedly, it was not a large group of people she had close relationships with, but she cherishes those relationships nonetheless.

Once Kazuki is done drawing, she reckon she could go for some lunch. However, once she exits her bedroom, she is suddenly hit in the face with an intensely strong aroma of some sort. She carefully sniffs it to figure out its contents and origin. It's a fruity sweet smell of some sort and it is coming from the kitchen. It smells like ... some sort of pie. Being kind of curious, Kazuki head towards the kitchen to see what's cooking, only to find Monty and K.C. already inside.

"And this is a Splorghuld, the Flesh-Slayer." Monty said as he shows K.C a picture of a giant fish-like creature on an ECHO data-pad, similar to a school teacher teaching children. "It has a length of 15 m, a width of 4 m, and a breath of holy-gosh-darn awful. They say that this species of Pandoran wildlife goes into deep slumber for most of its annual cycle, but it can be awoken by a ritual involving colored barrels to perform aquatic elaborate dance routines. Some say this species of humongous fish has gone extinct a long time ago, due to the settlement of humans and unsustainable mining of Eridium destroying their habitat and what not. But others think it's only endangered and that there may still be a few left of this species sleeping down in the underwater caves of Pandora."

"Wow, that is really fascinating! Also, totally EXTREME!" K.C. yelled, pumping his fists in the air. "Also, DAMN that fish's face is scary-ugly! It's so scary-ugly that I just wanna suplex it, like how my god-dad used to suplex a shark! While WEARING A BOLO-TIE! I saw it with my own two eyes behind these MANLY SUNGLASSES! It was, even to the MOST EXTREME of the EXTREME ... COMPLETEY SPECTACULARLY EXTREME! HAHAHA! ..." While K.C. was making that remark, Kazuki could only roll her eyes in disregard by the sidelines. "Ooh! I have an idea! That fish's face could totally be used as a new and EXTREME Halloween costume, or a mascot for the new Jaws/Jurassic World crossover movie that should totally be made to the EXTREME! (Oh, by the way, don't even think of stealing my idea, Hollywood! However, if you are interested, you could pay me a couple billion dollars and the idea is yours!) Man, who knew that digital almanac the wacky potato expert gave you could contain such EXTREMELY fascinating facts?!"

"Yeah, Sir Hammerlock does have quite a collection of unreleased almanacs that he's been keeping on the shelves." Monty said with a friendly smile while chewing on his stalk of wheat as usual. "So glad he is willing to gift me one of these on Pandoran wildlife that has recently been updated. Keeps me on my toes on the latest of Pandora's wilflife since the last time I came here five years ago. Pandora is filled with such fascinating beasts, ain't it?"

"You got that right, East Woodclint!" K.C. referenced out loud with barely any shame. "But that's not what I came here to talk about right now! I came here to talk about cooking stuff! And I don't meant 'The Anarchist's Cookbook' cooking, though I do own every book in the series and is a personal writer of my very own EXTREME special version of it! I tried to get my book out there but sadly no one wants to publish it, partly because of copyright issues and partly because the book itself is literally EXPLOSIVE! No, I'm talking about REAL edible cooking, particularly chocolate-chip cookies! An EXTREMELY large size at that! So big that not even that Splorg-y fish or whatever could fit it in its big mouth!"

"Chocolate-chip cookies, huh?" Monty inquired. "Didn't take you for a sweet-tooth kinda guy."

"They're not for me, idiot! They are for my precious Tina!" K.C. corrected loudly. "If there's anything my lovely Tina loves more than tea-parties, explosives, bunnies, and tea-parties with explosive bunnies, it's chocolate-chip cookies! I promised myself that when I reunite with my lovely Tina, I'm going to bake her the largest chocolate-chip cookie in the universe! She'll love it! And I want to make it so EXTREMELY big, it'll take her an eternity to finish it! I want that cookie to match the size of my EXTREME love for her!'

"Aww ... that is awfully sweet of you." Monty praised warm-heartedly. "I'm sure that whatever the size of that cookie, your sweetheart will love it nonetheless. The problem is the biggest cookie you can bake at the moment is limited to the size of our oven we have right here. And even that is the least of your worries. If you put a hunk of cookie-dough that big inside the oven, it's not gonna cook very evenly."

"What?! That can't happen!" K.C. shouted in dismay. "Wait, what if I ... um, I don't know ... add EXPLOSIVES to it?! Put in a little Semtax here, put a little black powder there! That will surely make that cookie-dough cook all the way through, right?!"

"I don't think ... that will work." Monty said with a sweat-drop. "And by God I wouldn't recommend feeding the end result of that to your sweetheart."

"Awww..." KC whined disappointingly, lowering his head towards the floor.

"Hey partner, don't you worry about it." Monty reassured as he pats K.C. on the shoulder as encouragement. "How about we just start with baking regular cookies, and then work out way up? I'm always happy to help out a friend in need, especially a kid with a heart as big as yours. With my expertise, I'm sure you'll bake the best-tasting cookies for your sweetheart in no time. But, just promise me this ... don't try adding explosives to your food without my permission, alright?"

"Alright!" K.C. celebrated in high-spirited joy. "You've got yourself a deal, cow-puncher! To the EXTREME!"

As Kazuki peeks from behind a wall just outside of the kitchen, she couldn't help but let out a light smile as she saw the camaraderie between the cowboy and the young demolitions expert.

*Beep-beep-beep ...*

Suddenly, a beeping sound can be heard within the kitchen. Kazuki notices that the beeping sound came from the kitchen's oven, signaling that something inside it is done cooking.

"Heh, alright. The rhubarb pie is finally done." Monty cheered as he grabs an oven mitt to open the oven and take out what appears to be a steamy piping-hot large pie of some sort. Kazuki can smell the strong wonderful aroma of the pie, even from a far distance. The aroma is so alluringng that Kazuki couldn't help but let out an honest growl from her stomach, which she is too embarrassed to admit. Monty caught a glance of Kazuki snooping around and decided to call her out. "Huh? Oh hey there, princess! Didn't see you there. Here for my delectable rhubarb pie, I see."

"Oh um, ... no." Kazuki corrected, trying to remain postulated as ever. "I'l just here to grab my own lunch. I won't be needing your pie, thank you."

"Aww c'mon! You're totally want some of this pie or you'll be lying to the MOST EXTREME!" K.C. said loudly, picking up the pie from Monty's hands and whirl it around the kitchen like a ballerina. "I mean, just SMELL that pie of EXTREMELY EXPLOSIVE FLAVOR! I'm not a big fan of fruity deserts, and even I would LOVE to try out this pie! You're just refusing it because you think your too classy to try out REAL food! I bet all you've been eating your entire life is some nasty and disgusting stuff that only EXTREME snobs eat, like ... vegetables, or any sort of meat that ISN'T seasoned with EXPLOSIVES!"

"I do not." Kazuki denied with a light pout.

"Leave her be, kid. If she don't want it, we can't force her." Monty convinced K.C. "Besides, more for the rest of us right?"

" *Sigh* Fine, if you insist." Kazkuki sat down on the table facing opposite to Monty and K.C., knowing that if she pass out this opportunity to try out that pie, she might regret it later on. "I'll try one piece of your pie if it'll make you happy."

" *Chuckles* Oh, it'll make both of us happy for sure, ma'am." Monty promised with a friendly wink as he tips his cowboy hat. "Honestly, it's nice to have a second opinion from someone with a more refined standard of taste. I probably won't be able to compete with the professional chefs that make you dinner everyday, but I'll humbly accept any criticisms you have."

After that, Monty proceeds to cut a slice of pie for everyone. As the pie is being sliced, the wispy steam coming out of the pie intensifies the already-strong aroma lingering in the room. Just like a high-class person, Kazuki took a fork and knife and neatly slice a small bit of the pie in order to put it in her mouth for a taste. She chews it slowly, allowing for the flavor of the pie to linger deeper on her palate. Similar to the breakfast she have tried from this morning, the taste of this pie was unimaginably delicious. More than delicious, even. There was no word in existence to describe the deliciousness of this food. Tasting this food was like taking a step in heaven. 'If only she could hire Monty to be her personal chef,' Kazuki thought. The personal chefs back home are alright, but they never had the type of passionate affection in their cooking the same way that Monty does. Then Kazuki shakes away that thought, almost acting like it's shameful for her to think those thoughts. Kazuki reminded herself that she is eating the food made by a dirt-herding, gun-toting, vault-hunting rival like Monty. So, in order to maintain her prestige image, she will not submit to Monty's cooking, no matter how incredibly good it taste.

"It was ... alright." Kazuki reviewed, trying to show as little emotion as possible. "Could need a little bit more improvement."

"Really? Huh ..." Monty was mildly disappointed as he scratches his head in confusion. "Well, I'll be damned. I was sure I put my best effort into that pie."

"Mmm-MHMM! This is DE-LICIOUS! To the MOTHERF*CKIN' EXTREME!" K.C. bursts out in praise while downing his slice of pie in one big bite, even liking away the crumbs on the plate. "I have no idea what the princess is talking about! The pie was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! If the pie's deliciousness could be represented an EXPLOSION, it'll be the the entire sum of energy created by the BIG BANG! No, bigger than the BIG BANG! Known as BIGGER BANG! It will be so BIG, none of the physicists in the world could calculate how BIG it is! It will also probably be used as a title of a new TV-show or some sh*t, starring Jim MOTHERF*CKIN Parsons! It's just that EXTREME!" K.C. then pulls out a can of whipped-cream from out of nowhere and abruptly sprayed some whipped cream on Kazuki's pie. "Here, you probably needed some extra flavoring for that pie of yours! Let me help!"

"Hey, kid!" Monty tries to restraint K.C. "It's not nice to just lay on some whipped cream on other people's food without asking them first. Now where are your manners?"

"Aww, c'mon!" K.C. defended loudly as he continues to slabber Kazuki's plate full of whipped cream. "I'm practically doing her a favor! Who doesn't like whipped cream?! I liked whipped cream! Tina likes whipped cream! Even whipped cream likes whipped cream! If whipped cream can have sex with itself, it'll probably involve a lot of WHIPS ... and CREAM! Hence, it's a CREAM that likes being WHIPPED! Wow, that got sexual real fast, I'm sorr- ! #$%^&amp;* - haha, just kidding, I'M NEVER SORRY! Plus, this whipped cream comes in a pressurized can that can be turned into an improvised miniature EXPLOSIVE, which is both DELICIOUS and EXTREME! Spraying some cream! Whipped to the EXTREME! EXTREME CREAM! Hey, that rhymed!"

" ... " Kazuki stares at her slice of the pie, now practically drenched and drowning in whipped cream, in horrifying jaw-dropping silence. She notices the can of whipped cream that K.C is holding is suspiciously lacking the label of 'low-fat' or 'fat-free' or whatever bullsh*t supermarket gimmick that is used to trick people into eating 'healthier' nowadays. Kazuki then stares back at the pie, distraught and nervous as she mumbles to herself. "... but I'll get fat."

While Monty and K.C. are arguing, Kazuki subtly notices some kind of noise from behind her, near the entrance of the kitchen. She turns her head around, only to briefly spot a suspicious-looking boxy-shaped figure just passing by. Not able to get a full picture, Kazuki curls her eyebrows in intrigue as she questions the identity of that figure, for it bears the image of a glowing green eye at its center.

* * *

Back in the meeting room at the center of the Blue Moby, Xiao Lan has finally finished her slapstick abuse towards the two unfortunate men, one being Brandon Chen and the other being the cameraman. Mama Jaws, Camtrap, and Patrick are all watching the occurrence of this, though each having a different response. Mama Jaws responded with cackling laughter, similar to how you laugh when you watch one of those old cartoons that contains an astonish amount of violence. Camtrap reacted with pure-hearted concern, already considering how to repair the cameraman's broken face afterwards like the loyal robot assistant she was. Patrick mearly looked at the whole thing with plain indifference as he continues with his video-editing work while delicately sipping from his mug of black joe.

"That'll teach you to question my pristine image as a suitable candidate of of marriage." Xiao Lan warned with dominance as she whips her hair backwards. "I'll let you know a woman's image is not something to be trifled with."

Both the cameraman's and Brandon's faces are so swollen, they could barely move their lips to produce coherently audible sentences. Camtrap promptly rushes towards both men with a heath-kit ready at hand.

"Oh, master! That looks so painful. Are you alright?" Camtrap asked with a concerned tone. "Don't worry. I'll tend to your wounds with the best of my abilities." The cameraman could only mumble as a sign of gratitude towards his loyal robot companion.

" *Annoyed dry heave* ... For the love of Jack, what the hell is going on here?!" Selena announced her presence as she barges into the meeting room from one of the doors. "I was at the balcony and even I couldn't get some peace and quiet over this f*ckin' nonsense!"

"Oh, nothing really." Xiao Lan responded, reverting back to her cheerful mocking guise. "I'm just teaching these men about the importance of a woman's image, that's all."

"Pfft, whatever." Selena warned with a grumpy face. "Just keep it down next time or I swear I'm gonna murder somebody."

"I ain't doubtin' that, Jack-banger." Mama Jaws added with a fun toothy smile as she sits relaxingly on a chair. "I would probably do the same. Though, probably for an entirely different reason, of course."

"Man, what is going on here?" Eugene asked as he entered the room with Oleg through a separate entrance.

"We hear commotion from over at the cargo bay." Oleg added, his hand still holding onto a half-empty beer can. "We thought something was not right, so we come to check." Oleg then notices how beat-up the faces of Brandon and the cameraman were and felt slightly uneasy. "What happened to their faces?"

"I suggest you don't ask, or you might end up the same." Patrick warned with a detached tone as he continues to work diligently on his computer.

"Well, I'll bet whatever's going on here can be mended with a good ol' pre-supper snack." Monty interrupted, entering the room with K.C. and Kazuki while holding onto a tray of his rhubarb pies. "Nothing better than a rhubarb pie to make the day go smoothly well, as my mama always say."

"You've got that right, my fellow EXTREME DREAMERS!" K.C. howled with over-the-top excitement. "We're eating pie tonight! Don't you worry about leftovers, cuz I'm eating them all! And after all that EXTREME pie-eating, I'm gonna let out out a cloud of fart so big and stinky, they will regret not labeling my butt as a weapon of ASS destruction! Get it?! GET IT?! You better get that joke or I'll punch you in the FACE!" Kazuki could only face-palm herself in response to K.C.'s childish display of toilet humor.

"Well, I guess it's good that Camtrap over here didn't see all of ... whatever this is going on." Eugene noted, patting Camtrap on the head. "Otherwise, it might scar this robot's pretty little mind for life. If robots can get traumatized, that is."

"Huh?" Camtrap responded with confusion. "Whatever do you mean, Mr. Eugene?"

"You were at the cargo bay a while ago, aren't you?" Eugene try to confirm with Camtrap. "Sneaking around the entire time this afternoon and all that. Honestly, you gotta work on that shyness sometime."

"Umm, no I wasn't." Camtrap denied. "I was here in this room the entire time. I never once went to the cargo bay for the entire afternoon."

"But ..." Oleg added to Eugene's testimony. " ... we saw some strange figure snooping around at the cargo bay that looks almost like you."

"Wait ... " Selena interjected into the conversation. "... so you're saying you're not the one passing by the balcony entrance a while ago?"

"No." Camtrap confirmed. "I never went anywhere near the balcony."

"Then I suspect you aren't the one passing by the kitchen earlier either." Kazuki added with regard.

"No." Camtrap further confirmed. "Like I said, I haven't left this room since I've boarded on the ship from Sanctuary this morning. I was in this room the entire time, besides my master."

"But if you're not the one sneaking around the ship ..." Monty said with moderate suspense." ... then ... who is?"

All of a sudden, a blanket of silence envelopes the room. Everyone pauses for a while to think carefully about this mysterious situation ... before some metallic-clanking noise is suddenly heard right above the ceiling of the room. Since everyone is already present in the room, whatever is up there above the ceiling must have been an outsider. Everyone focuses their attention upwards, tense up as they articulate that the noise is probably caused by someone or something moving inside the air-vents. Suspecting the worst-case scenario, several of the most proactive people in the room swiftly pull out their weapons and readily point them towards the ceiling where the air-vents are. Selena pointed her Hyperion pistol. Eugene armed his Dahl assault rifle. Kazuki pulled out her Talisman cards from under her kimono sleeves. Oleg gripped onto his claw gauntlet. Mama Jaws revved up her motorized buzz-wrench. K.C. pulled out his large heavy Torgue rocket launcher from out of his pants. (Believe me. This one is not a euphemism.) Monty is ... still gripping onto his tray of pies. (He figured everyone else is already armed, so ... why bother?). Brandon is ... well, given the condition of his face, he'd rather not deal with this right now, and instead just hide behind Xiao Lan, who figuratively has more balls than him.

"Stay alert, everyone!" Selena warned with urgency. "We might have a stowaway on board."

"Man, who would have thought someone invited themselves into our little motley crew." Eugene cracked wise, even at a serious situation like this.

"Oh boy, oh BOY!" Mama Jaws responded with skin-tingling excitement. "Some new skaglicka' to rip into shreds. I'm all for it! Come on out! My midge-midge always wanted a new toy!"

It feels like the mysterious entity within the air-vents can hear the threats, because those clanking noises only grew louder and more frequent in response.

"Whoever you are, come out of the vents immediately! Or we'll shoot!" Selena warned with clarity, growing impatient by the minute. "Final warning!"

After a few seconds and still no response, only further clanking noises, almost like the air-vents itself is shaking. Selena finally got tired of waiting and began shooting a few rounds up at the ceiling, hoping to flush out the stowaway intruder. After those shots were fired, a response can finally be heard.

"AAAHHH! Alright, ALRIGHT! I'll come out! Don't shoot! DON'T SHOOT!" A voice from the air-vents is finally heard. It was a pathetic voice of sorts, with no ruggedness whatsoever. A voice that ... strangely enough, some of the people on the ship have recognized. As the hatch of the air-vents opens, a small boxy figure finally came dropping down from the ceiling, crashing onto the table. A figure with a yellowish color, metallic outer-shell, and ... most notably ... a glowing green eye. To everyone's surprise, they recognized who the intruder is.

"CLAPTRAP?!" Everyone exclaimed in unison, shocked at the revelation.

"Uh ... Hi, everyone." Claptrap greeted with embarrassed shyness as he waves his little robot hand for everyone to see.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Man are there a lot of notes and references to talk about.

*First of all, I picked out the names Raison, Jesper, Cris, and Sascha from the names of the music composers of the first Borderlands game. Just a neat little reference that I added for fun.

*Hey, guess what? Rhys got himself a brief cameo here! Didn't suspect I add in a little "Tales From the Borderlands" reference, did you? Ha! Also, that Troy Baker comment wasn't a joke. Troy Baker is seriously in everything nowadays. You couldn't stumble upon a video game or anime without Troy Baker in it. That guy's been around. Gotta say, I'm impressed. Keep up the good work, the Baker of Troy!

*Also, Jack's wife's name is "Rose". A bit on the nose with the Titanic reference, I know. But ... c'mon, give me a break here. Rose is a pretty name, and I want Jack's wife to be the prettiest so I could ! #$%^&amp;* ... haha, I'm not gonna spoil it for you. Read further on to find out. Also, 10 year-old Angel is just the cutest, isn't she? =3

*Nina's back! Don't think I forgot about adding stuff from the Pre-sequel. Also, some language clarification. "Privet" means "Hello" in Russian. "Dasvidaniya" means "Goodbye" in Russian. But those are pretty much the only Russian phrases I can muster out of Google translate. I'll try to be somewhat more inclusive in the foreign language department without making too many mistakes, so just bear with me. Haha ... bear ...

*Splorghuld, the Flesh Slayer. Another reference from "Tales of the Borderlands" at episode one, inside that museum of oddities. Funny how there are tons of interesting tidbits within that Telltale game.

*I know I've been adding more descriptions of people eating delicious food in these recent chapters. I blame it on watching too many episodes of "Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma". Great anime, by the way. Totally recommend it.

*And last but not least ... WOOH, CLAPTRAP! ... I mean, um, BOO, CLAPTRAP!


End file.
